Mass Effect: Shadows
by WhoElseBut
Summary: Original character introduced to both effects of ME1 and ME2 as well as original storylines before, during, and in between. An outside view on Mass Effect events from a different character... involves all major story lines and characters from both games..
1. Prologue

MASS EFFECT and all Characters are property and Trade Mark of BioWare

Prologue

As he stared at the commotion of the space port Josh realize that this was all about to disappear. Arcturus, the Alliance Academy, it was all as good as gone to him now. The world he has known for quite a while to be his was now being quickly removed from under his feet. He could feel the ground slipping away at the mere thought and thanked God to be able to stand on his solid feet still. He trained for a long time now, he was ready, the Alliance deemed him ready. Yet somehow it felt strangely odd to be leaving a place he came to know as his home.

He stared at the busy port and wondered how he was ever going to get out of here. All of the platforms were crawling with marines and commanders, captains and lieutenants to be. Fresh graduates if the Arcturus Academy. He felt oddly proud to be part of that crop, although somehow he felt there was nothing special in it. Sometimes he wondered if anything special was left since the discover of the mass relays and the introduction of Mass Effect.

He made his way past the copious checkpoints, cursing every time he had to stop and present his identification. As much of a bother as it was, Josh couldn't help but feel that this was all in good health. After all, it was the Alliance main training ground, the main Academy. If something were to happen... It chilled him to even think about it.

Past the last checkpoint and he found himself staring at his transport, quickly filling with soldiers. Smiling he went in, after a number of ship's security procedures he found his place and allowed himself to relax for the first time since leaving the Academy grounds.

He was a graduate now, a marine ready for duty, ready to serve his planet, his race. He had a week off though as well. Josh smiled at that thought. He finally got to go home, to see his sister, to see his parents, to prove to them that he made it just like he promised, to show them he was right and they should have never even toyed with the thought of trying to talk him out of it. Those warm thoughts brought a smile to his face.

The system's sun shone through the illuminator and warmed his face slightly, highlighted all its features, including a small scar under his left nostril, a training accident. He grazed it with his index finger feeling the coarse bump, allowing his soft hand to smooth it out, although he knew it never would.

"Ladies and gentlemen," a soft female voice came from the speaker system, still somewhat distorted by the static. They could leap to millions of spaces at once but they couldn't invent a clear COMM system. "This is your captain speak. Welcome to the Space Transport Ship No. 412, destination Earth. Time at the destination is 2:22PM. Our travel would be brief so do not get too comfortable," a small pause to allow the passengers to laugh Josh figured, time of travel is about half an hour depending on the density of Earth's space port. We are about to enter a Mass Relay, I ask you to firmly fixate yourself to something and enjoy your flight."

Mass relay. Josh swallowed, pushing the unwilling saliva down his throat. This never was any fun. As the ship shook ever so slightly he grabbed the handle beside his bunk. This was the part he hated the most. Closing his eyes he phased out the ship and the mass relay, and the self-proclaimed captain of wit, all he could think of were his parents and his sister. And soon he would see them, however briefly.


	2. Chapter 1

MASS EFFECT and all Characters are property and Trade Mark of BioWare

Chapter 1

The touchdown was easy for him to take. His stomach accepted the peculiarities of the ship docking in one of many of Earth's ports. He felt every single twitch before the ship finally fixated itself firmly within its dock. Only then he released the air that was being cooped up in his lungs. A friendly pat on the shoulder was just as welcome. He turned is head to face the polished futures of his bunkmate for the flight, Markus Roys. Pretty Boy.

Josh and Markus were in the same graduating class and grew kind of close during the trials and tribulations of the Academy. It was pure coincidence that Markus would end up on the same transport to Earth, but it was a fortunate coincidence as well. He liked Markus, he was fun to be around, plus most females seemed to be attracted to him. Tall, muscular, blond, there was just something in him that acted like a magnet. Josh didn't admit it but that was the first reason he started hanging around Markus, of course later he got to know the man as they grew together as friends.

Markus was an average student and solider as far as those went. Nothing exceptional, probably never would be either. His personality was interesting to say the least. He always had a smart thing to say, jumping into conversations sporadically when no one expected him to. He liked the attention, and Josh had to admit, always said something relevant and turned conversations into more entertaining directions. Now he was relaxed and happy to be home, so it seemed.

"Home sweet home," he smiled at Josh, "what are you going do once your feet touch down on some real solid ground my friend?"

"I guess go see my sister," Josh smiled back, picked up his bag and kept walking, "then my parents. From there, I don't know how I'll kill the week."

"I'm sorry," his voice rose, a little more enthused now, "we were looking for something along the lines of: 'I will drop to the ground and kiss the dirt until my lips bleed brown.' You're option is pretty good though too."

"What about you?"

"Not too sure yet, I think I will pay a visit to my family, take a cold shower. These flights make me grumpier than a krogan. Maybe go out to a bar, there is an old hang out spot I used to favour. Speaking of which, you should definitely bring your graduated ass down to Crooked Mike's, you'll like it. We'll get hammered, pick up some ladies, do unethical things to them afterwards."

"I'm not sure if I'll have time Markus," Josh nodded to the door attendant as they exited the ship, she smiled back at him, but her face lit up when Markus flashed her some sparkles teeth.

"Oh common! It wouldn't take you that long to see your family, all of them. Heck, take your sister with you. We're about to enter Alliance service, probably get shipped off straight into the middle-of-the-fucking-nowhere-outer-space. When again will we get a chance like that?"

He did have a point.

"Fine," Josh surrendered, pulling out his official documents for another checkpoint, "but I'm not bringing my sister."

"Hey, fine by me. You're the one causing her to miss out."

"I'm sure she will survive if she misses one 'unethical' night."

"You never know."

"I'll call you Markus."

"You damn well better," Markus yelled as Josh sped off from the checkpoint into the spaceport leaving his friend behind. "Dirty bastard," he muttered under his breath with a smile.

"Excuse me sir?" the security officer was just now staring at him intently, studying him, obviously having caught what he muttered.

"Nothing sir," Markus gave another warming smile with his sparkling teeth, "just thinking of my friend here."

"Welcome back to Earth," the guard gave him nothing more than a formal salute and saw him off into the port.

***

Josh walked fast, speeding through the crowds, pushing aside anyone who slowed him down. He wasn't here to relax, he just wanted to get home. Although the thought of a night out with Markus was quite warming he needed to take care of other pressing business before he went on to having fun. The port was full of various races, some walking slowly like cattle, other speeding forth at any speed they could call on. The rest were stuck somewhere in between the two worlds, mostly sitting down.

Since the discovery of the mass relays and the First Contact War Earth has changed. They were not alone anymore and that showed. As the main planet of the Alliance, Earth was humanity`s main space port, it`s main vessel for economic growth. This brought forth everyone, the salarians, the asari, the turians, the batarians, and everyone else who wanted to wager something on the trading market. The main population still no doubt remained human, but Josh could see the progression forward, the advance and the acceptance.

With no time to marvel at the diversity development of his home planet he made it towards the first Rapid Transit terminal in his sights. This was something adopted from the Citadel and the council races. The transport system moved quickly and was the best way to get around the cities, usually getting someone to their destination within minutes or sometimes even seconds.

Josh travelled fast and within about 60 seconds he was where he was intending to go all this time. Smiling he looked around. The outside garden has not changed, it was decorated with small trees, constantly groomed not to grow into the artificial ceiling. This was the lower level. The people of Earth decided to keep Earth`s natural growth in tact and built most of transit systems and other technological advances a level above. The lower level was actively preserved to ensure that Earth`s flora and fauna would not die out.

Josh made his way towards one of the three towers that graced this garden and stared straight into the intercom. The blue screen flashed quickly and then spun sideways. A see through blue face of 1s and 0s appeared. It was a pretty imitation of the female face, and it was different from the last time he was her, must have been the new system, another technological advance. Those things were happening faster than anything else in the universe, so it seemed.

"Good afternoon Mr. Dri, " the woman spoke in a pleasant voice, soothing even, "shall I patch you through to your sister?"

"Yes please."

"One moment."

As the screen flashed, the blue simulation of a human face disappeared. A smaller screen appeared within the bigger one. This one was showing static for a moment before fixing itself onto a sharp image of a kitchen. A woman was chopping carrots, seemingly unaware of the watchful camera eye. A second into it, she flinched and turned to face the camera. Her gentle finger reached out and pressed something just above the lens.

"Josh," she asked, looking slightly surprised, "is that you?"

"Yeah sis," he tried to laugh, but came out with a small chuckle, squeezing out of himself even then.

"You've graduated already?"

"Yeah," then he paused for a second to allow himself to shift the weight from one of his feet to the other. "Sis, I think it would certainly in good manners if you let me in. You know, relative standing outside, hungry from their trip. I promise you can interrogate me all you want, just feed me first okay?"

"Of course," she laughed, "I'm just so happy to see you..."

"That you actually forgot to let me up," he finished the sentence for her, "I understand, but do you mind still? I love the garden and all, but I doubt I can eat any of the plants here. I suspect I may even poison myself if I try."

"Come up Josh," she smiled and pressed another button above the camera.

An almost silent buzz opened the door for him as he climbed inside the elevator and planted himself firmly on the ground. What would come next was no more pleasant than a mass relay jump. As the doors came shut behind him the cabin rocketed upwards. The speed was not enough to make a man nauseous, but it was still quite unsettling, especially for a man who was afraid of heights. The good thing about these elevators was that within seconds the journey was over. The door slid open silently. Josh stepped into the long hallway and proceeded towards his sister's door. Home sweet home.

The door slid open before him letting Josh into the wide space that his sister now called her apartment. He looked around, sliding his shoes off in the main doorway. Making his way through the hall he couldn't help but smirk at the display of "art" on each wall. Passing through the last of them Josh found himself facing the living room and the kitchen, his sister now sitting on the counter smiling.

"Hey Sarah... Omph," the last little was squeezed out of him as something hit his stomach hard, a set of small hands wrapping around his torso.

"Unca!!!" a small, childish voice screamed.

"Jessie," Josh laughed lifting the little girl up in the air, until they were face to face, "how you been, you little bundle of trouble? Been staying out of trouble? Doing your homework?"

"Speaking of homework," Sarah looked at her daughter in all seriousness, "have you finished your assignment?"

"No," the small childish cheeks puffed up and the voice dropped to the volume of a disappointed whisper. Jessie gave Josh the traitor look, to which he just shrugged, and headed through the doorway to her room.

"She's precious," he said, sitting down on one of the stools at the kitchen bar like table. "And mom never taught you not to sit on things that are not supposed to be sat on Sarah."

"Are you really going to try to lecture the person that gives you food?"

"No, just mentioning. Besides, after I eat it I am planning to go see them."

"Really," she shrugged, "want me to come with you little brother? Pierre should be home by then, he should be home right now as a matter of fact. Where are you staying Josh?"

"Don't know yet," he shrugged again, that may have been his new habit, "came straight here, figured I'll think about accommodations a little later."

"Good," Sarah smiled putting a plate in front of him. It had some greens and a big deli-style sandwich with ham, cheddar, bacon, and some fresh veggies, "you can stay here. We have an extra room and I won't take no for an answer."

"Will you take a maybe?" Josh chuckled, but it came out sounding weird. He was already a bite into the sandwich his sister provided for him.

"If it's a 'yes' maybe."

"Sarah, I don't want to burden you guys. I mean, put up with a grown man for a week? Could be torture."

"Not if you occupy that man for that week."

"How so?"

"I'm not sure yet," Sarah smiled putting a glass of apple juice besides the plate, sandwich almost gone now, the salad untouched. "However I do need some help looking over Jess from time to time, maybe this could be your week."

Josh almost chocked in anger. She knew his little weakness for her niece. There was no person in the world outside of his sister who he loved more. Every time he was around Earth he made it a point to see that little girl. He didn't quite realize what made him so eager. Perhaps it was the lingering notion of the fact that he himself may not have a chance to have a child. Being in the Alliance left tiny shreds of time of a personal life. And even then, the work required a lot of absence time, he hasn't yet heard of a successful relationship that was able to sustain such a strain.

"Fine," he smiled, sending the water down his throat before turning to the salad.

"Good," Sarah smiled, "Now, tell me everything."

As she leaned in to keep herself within the range of Josh's tale he told her about his last year at the Academy, sparing no details. She listened intently, hanging on every word waiting for more. To Josh, the tale was not that interesting, but perhaps because he lived it, it sort of became mundane to him rather than something out of the ordinary. Sarah on the other hand always wanted to join the Alliance, but as the older child, and a girl their parents kept her out of it. They tried to resist Josh's decision as well but he didn't budge.

The tale went on for about half an hour, and the another half an hour for Sarah to ask all of the questions that he had cooped up in her head. She lived her life at the Academy through her brother, and left no detail unmentioned for that sole reason. Pierre was already home and feeling ignored he wandered off to help Jessie with her homework. He knew the importance of letting a big sister catch up with her little brother, especially if they were as close as Josh and Sarah.

After the 'interrogation' was done, Josh headed out, briefly stopping and allowing Sarah to come with him. Together they made their way downstairs in the elevator and caught the next Transit pod. They hardly talked at all now, they rarely did when they went to see their parents. The only thing that resembled interaction between them was Sarah's hand gently resting on Josh's shoulder, an attempt to calm him down.

When they arrived, the gardens of the lower level did not strike them as marvellous anymore. Instead, they gave out an eerie feel, a weird kind of glow. Passing under the archway into the cemetery Josh tried not to look up, not notice anyone else's tomb stone or not step on anyone's final resting place. He knew this walk almost by heart now, after all, he's had about four years to practice it. When they got there Sarah took a step back, allowing him to approach the tomb stones all on his own.

Finding a little bench in between the two graves Josh sat down and looked up. He was frantically searching for words now. It seemed that he had a grand idea of what to say, but now, now it was all but an idea, nothing solid, no words. Somehow he needed to squeeze something out of himself though.

"Well," he started, "ma, pa, I'm here. Finally graduated. I know it probably doesn't make you too happy seeing how you always wanted grand things for me, but pa, I promise this can bring me something grand to. It ain't been easy, just like you guys said it wouldn't but I stayed and I fought. I guess this is the better time to mend that once fence that we left broken. I know you understood me ma, and I know you worried a lot, heck you still do, but I won't fail. I know what I'm doing guys, believe me. I love you both."

He felt his hand graze the marble of his parents' tombstone, feel is contours. Somehow there was nothing left to say. He hated cemetery's and they knew that, he was sure they would forgive him for keeping it short. He turned and looked at his sister, always the stronger one of the two. Even now though he thought he saw a tear in her eye, quickly shrugging that notion off. It was just the light and grief playing a joke on him. She was stronger than him, always the stronger of the two.

"Now I need a drink," he said heading past her and towards the exit.

***

He made his way through the initial door crowd at Mike's quite fast, navigating past the already quite inebriated line of guests. Spotting Markus was the easiest thing he had to do all night. As always, his buddy was dressed to impress, a bright short with his hair slicked back and a casual pair of jeans. One thing didn't change no matter how advanced the days got, the clothing remained the same. His friend was at the bar sipping on some sort of blue liquid when Josh approached him.

"Hey," Markus sounded a little bit under the influence already, "Joshie-boy, how was the family meeting."

"Splendid," Josh said gravely, pulling up another chair, "what is that you're drinking."

"Some Asari bullshit," Markus smiled again, "has a little bit of a kick to it."

"I noticed," he said before turning to the bartender, "I'll have what he is having."

A few minutes later Josh held a glass full of liquid identical to his friends. As it turned out nothing much happened in the day since they last saw each other, not that Josh figured something would. Their conversation got reduced to sipping of the Asari ale and reminiscing about the Academy, and finally trailing off to the future plans and the current assignments. This was regular soldier talk, mundane.

"Hold that thought," Markus raised his arm interrupting Josh midsentence, "and look over there."

Josh followed his friend's gaze to the opposite side of the bar. A cute brunette with shoulder length curled hair sat there sipping on what looked to be a martini, a plain Earth martini, how old fashioned of her. Her face was slightly tanned, her lips thin, and her eyes blue and inviting, or Josh supposed they would be if she even looked at them. Her figure was breath taking, the well balanced combination of a slim athletic fit. She wasn't anorexic like most skinny girls (the trend did not give up), but her body was well shaped by most standards still.

Beside her, a slightly smaller blonde with longer hair sat sipping on some sort of lime green mix out of a tall glass. Josh assumed it was another Asari drink, the race seemed to pride themselves on putting together the most inebriating liquids possible. Sometimes he wondered how they walked straight at all. The blonde was slightly skinnier and her face was shining, almost glossy. She seemed to be the living counterpart for Markus, gorgeous, smiling, and attracting most of the attention in the bar. Yet Josh couldn't bring himself to take the eyes off the brunette.

"Let's go," Markus said, finishing his drink in one attempt and getting up before almost tumbling down.

Josh caught his buddy and looked in the direction of the girls. The blond chuckled, noticing the fiasco, the brunette seemed not to notice or care. Josh tried for a smooth recovery finishing his own drink and getting up himself. Markus seemed to regain the ground under his feet as well. Determined they headed to the opposite side of the bar.

"That was a nice little pirouette," the blonde smiled as they approached.

"I've had lots of practice," Markus said, "the Asari ale is my inspiration. I am glad to please. Name's Markus, this here is my friend Josh."

"Amanda," the blond giggled, moving slightly to free more space beside her, "this is my friend Stephanie, she just came back to Earth, and due to leave soon." The blonde pursed her lips in a small frown, more of a childish gesture to get her friend involved. Stephanie seemed not to be phased by the gesture. "You'll have to forgive her, she's still coming away from her experience at the Academy, she just graduated."

"Really?" Markus smiled, "so did we, how come we can't recall you."

"Mostly," Stephanie turned, her voice anything but welcoming, "because I was in officer training while you two probably ended up as simple soldiers."

Markus seemed to be a little surprised. He didn't have anything to say at the moment, mostly because the only thing that came to mind was the word `bitch`. Josh decided to take the initiative himself. "Well, someone needs to go and die once the order is given."

"That's the spirit," Stephanie didn't seem to thaw, signalling the bartender for another martini.

"You dance?" Amanda butted in seeing how Markus was slightly disoriented and if he didn't get any encouragement he would probably leave.

"Sure," he smiled, stretching his hand out and carrying the blonde along with him to the dance floor.

Josh pulled up a chair and looked at the bartender. His Asari drink was finished and he was contemplating ordering another one, but he wasn't too sure of how good of an idea that was. He didn't exactly want to get carried away that night, just slightly stupid if anything at all. And any Earth drink was fine for that.

"Beer," he smiled to the bartender, letting her smile back at him before he turned to Stephanie, "you know, you sound like an officer."

"And how does an officer sound," she tried to sound slightly annoyed, but he could tell the conversation actually may work out after all.

"Like a complete fucking bastard or bitch," he smiled taking a big gulp of the newly arrived beer, another thing that hasn't changed in ages.

"It's nice to know the troops' opinion of their leaders."

"Maybe you'll be the one to prove me wrong."

"I sincerely doubt it."

"I thought so," Josh smiled and turned away again, it was slightly painful to go on.

He would have shot himself from boredom and to evade further embarrassment if some idiot did not decide he was smarter than most. Ruckus at the end of the bar called the attention of the people close by. Someone seemed not to be satisfied with the service provided, and decided to correct the misunderstanding on his own. Josh wondered how someone that dumb could sneak a pistol into a club, but worse than that his buddy had a shotgun.

He saw Stephanie duck behind the counter and pull out her own regulation pistol, studying the situation through a mirror. Deciding not to wait for any formal orders he turned and ran forward. Dropping on his back Josh slid on the floor feeling the friction tear into his backside. As he slid under the table his leg went up kicking the table towards the two men. The surprise worked as they both turned, but it was too late. Josh's body was no horizontally between them

His foot kicked out and met the knee of one of the men, a loud crunch rang through the bar. In the same motion the heel of that foot went up and tipped the shotgun from the man's hand. The other man still bewildered, but was slowly gaining his attention back and moving the pistol hand towards Josh now. Josh's left hand gripped at the shotgun which panted itself firmly into his hand. In one smooth motion he flipped the barrel and pushed the cold steel into the warm flesh of the man's knee before pressing the trigger. The round tore through the flesh spraying the bar with blood, crunching the knee to shreds, breaking it apart almost. The man collapsed forgetting about his pistol, screaming in agony. Josh relaxed fully on his back looking at the ceiling just to look into Stephanie's blue eyes.

"Smooth move soldier," she smiled, "but not completely according to the protocol I must say."

"Fuck the protocol," Josh said, "that would take to long. You want to at least tell me your full name?"

"Stephanie Sheppard."


	3. Chapter 2

MASS EFFECT and all Characters are property and Trade Mark of BioWare

Chapter 2

Josh leaned back in the chair, putting a lot of pressure on the back legs while resting his own on the table in front of him. The news line in the holo-projection ran about his own little adventure in the bar last night. He still felt a soreness in his back from sliding on the floor, but that was probably the least of his worries. He now had to answer to someone up the chain of command for what they called 'theatrics'.

He slowly brought a glass of beer to his mouth and sipped at it. Nothing relaxed more than beer, and perhaps it wasn't the best choice for a soldier, but it was just that kind of week. Just that kind of year. Perhaps he was thinking too much into it.

A sudden rumble from the kitchen spurred Josh to action. Once on his feet he jumped over a couch in his way and slid into the room on the cold floor, perhaps rubbing his feet against it quite the wrong way. His niece was sitting on the floor, her face bright and innocent, a dinner bowl with decorating the top of her head like a helmet.

"Looking for candy?" Josh asked, laughing and picking his niece up at the same time.

"No," she smiled, not even trying to pretend that she wasn't lying. "I just can't get enough of mom's delicious salad."

"Maybe we should have some then, an extra large portion."

"Unca!! Please!!"

He put her down and took the bowl off her head, brushing the her hair slightly as he did. There was something about this child that pulled him in. He knew she was his sister's daughter, and probably the only kid in his life he was ever going to feel so close to, perhaps this was what made her so special. With a quick jerk Josh produced a candy bar from his sleeve stretching it out to Jess.

"Really?" she said cautiously, almost as if afraid to get lured into one of those traps adults always set for their kids.

"Really," he reassured her as her small hand stretched for the condensed chocolaty deliciousness.

A sudden ring through the apartment broke them both away from their small conversation. Josh jerked slightly and looked back into the living room. The projector was going off, someone wanted him. "Enjoy that munchkin," he smiled walking towards the living room, "and you're welcome."

"Thank you unca!!"

Josh quickly picked up the small device and set it on the coffee table in front of him. Thousands of years equivalent of galactic progress and the furniture haven't changed one bit. He pressed one button to reveal a quick projection above the device. The figure before him was a man in military attire, standing as straight as an arrow with a direct look that shook Josh to the depths.

"Private Dri," the figure said sternly, studying the man's face.

"General Argus," his hand shut up for his forehead, his figure straightened in an instant.

"At ease soldier," the general spoke a little softer, yet still, the notes of gruffness, hammered in by years of military service were present. "It was interesting to hear of your adventures on Earth," he paused for a second, clearing his throat, "through non-proper channels."

"General?"

"I don't think it is needed for me to explain the importance of presenting the best side of us to the public. Little, how shall I describe them, personal heroics best kept to the peripherals."

"I understand General."

"Never the less," the man went on, "this is not a matter I would handle privately, however, you were in the special training unit, with Biotic training, personally overseen by the highest of command. At least it is good that you had the sense not to use your Biotics in the situation. That would have been unfortunate."

Josh tensed. He sensed a tone in the General's voice, something he used to sense in his father before he would punish him, just after the scolding. He straightened up even more, though he didn't not believe that was possible.

"You are lucky 2nd Lieutenant Sheppard was kind enough to provide a comprehensive account of the situation, and vouch for you in the future."

"Vouch for me, sir?"

"You are to depart tomorrow," the man paused again, clearing his throat, "to be stationed on Elysium. Arrive at the Marine Port at 1700 hours. General Out."

Josh stared at the device for a while before scooping it up and putting into his pocket. He slowly sunk into a chair and stared out of the window. He loved home, and he's been here for about two days, remembering why. And now he had to leave. Apparently with that Sheppard girl from the bar… 2nd Lieutenant they said. This was going to be fun.

The rest of the day went by as if in the blur. Thankfully he didn't have to make up an excuse for not being able to stay for long, even so his sister made him feel terrible for leaving. He couldn't stomach anything at dinner either, the only time he smiled is when his niece asked him if everything was alright. He lied to her.

At night he could barely fall asleep. There was something gnawing at him from the inside. _Elysium_. He didn't want to go, yet it was an order. Not officially, no, but he had no option to refuse one of the 'perks' of military life.

When Josh finally came asleep, dreams came. Not the dreams one hopes for before a long road, nothing reassuring or warming, the only dreams he got were those of horror. He remembered, he shook.

_He was back in his training days, the last year, a biotic assault training. Just for those purposes the academy flew them out to the real thing, the real raid. The mercenaries were few, mostly Batarians, the usual crop, big with the gun, useless with their heads. Their crew moved fast and hard, quickly they entered the camp and disabled most of the resistance, yet it was not as easy as they said. Everyone later blamed bad intelligence, but it never changed what happened, not for a second. _

_There was an Asari with the mercenaries, she was the leader. Aleena her name was so they said later, when she escaped. He never heard anyone scream that loud as one of the soldiers fell beside him. Everything started to spin as he felt a biotic push, falling to the ground himself. Something was in his head, clutching at his fantasies and fears, tearing them, perverting them. He screamed._

Waking up in cold sweat was not something a man could get used to, but yet, he had to. He slowly walked from the guest room into the washroom, lights turning on as the door led him in with a 'swoosh'. Looking in a mirror he barely knew the man there. His forehead was drenched with sweat, his eyes staring hollowly into the reflection. "Aleena," he whispered before splashing a handful of water in his face.

"Can't sleep again?" his sister was leaning on the door behind him. Josh was almost surprised that he didn't hear her behind him. "Elysium again?"

"Yes."

He turned to face his sister, his body slumping to the floor, leaning backwards. He stretched his legs onto the floor and studied Sarah's face. She was concerned he knew, but this was his fight. She was the only person he ever told how he felt, and now he couldn't bring himself to explain why he ever told his sister in the first place.

"It's not your fault, I hope you know that."

"Of course I know that sis. Doesn't make it any easier… The things… What she did to me, to the others, the images in my head."

She walked up and slumped down behind him, carefully placing her hand on top of his. His eyes shot and studied her face. She looked like their mother, not the face, she was too young, but the eyes definitely the eyes. They both looked at him the same. He found refuge in those eyes, wrapping himself in comfort he has not felt in a long time.

"You always could," she paused for a second, searching for right words, but he knew what she was going to say. "You could always let the Asari heal you. You know, like they did the others…"

"I can't Sarah…"

"But its eating away at you, I can see that."

"I can't Sarah. I will not let anyone inside my head ever again. Not like that…" he felt almost bad, he felt the volume of his voice raising, but she should have not went there. _She should not have mentioned it_. "I won't."

She got up slowly, releasing his hand as she went. "I understand Josh," she said softly, "I just want what is best for you, you know it. But it is your choice. Get some sleep."

She stroked the top of his head and went out, he found himself alone yet again, like he should be. Slowly Josh climbed up and looked in the mirror again. He saw a soldier looking back, determined. Aleena got to him once, it showed him he was vulnerable, even beyond, yet compared to her no other test seemed as hard. Maybe being back on Elysium wouldn't be that hard, perhaps he would finally lay his own ghosts to rest. Perhaps.

In slow steps he made his way towards the guest room, slowly, softly, trying not to wake anyone. When he made it, the small table had a glass full of water beside it. _Sarah_, he thought to himself. When he went back to sleep he didn't see Aleena anymore, but he felt her, after so much time, he still felt her, leaving an print on him, laughing at him, mocking him.

At 16:00 by his clock Josh was already close to the docking bay, his bag over his shoulder, wearing no more than his assigned alliance uniform. The security checkpoints didn't take too long this time, mostly because the grunts had no time to focus on anyone, the constant stream of soldiers poured into the docks, towards SSV Einstein.

Josh made his way quickly enough, not bothering to pay anything special attention, the docks were teeming with soldiers, almost a suffocating number of people. He was making his way through crowds, twisting his body to fit it through as a piece into a jigsaw puzzle. A jerk on his shoulder stopped him.

"Josh," Markus was beaming, smiling from ear to ear. "I thought I'd see you here."

"You look awfully happy," Josh kept movie as Markus fell in beside him.

"Our first assignment, and on Elysium. One of the most successful human colonies. And I've heard the women there." His face lit up even more as he went into the world of his fantasies.

"I don't think that's why they are sending us there Markus."

"I know Josh, but even soldiers have off duty time."

Josh had nothing to answer to that, he just smiled to himself and moved on, Markus smiling like a child beside him. It felt too much of a crowd to sent to Elysium, so Josh suspected there was only a few units to be dropped off, the question that haunted him was whose unit he was going to be on. Something inside him whispered that he already knew, but he refused to believe it would be that easy.

As they reached closer to the docking gates the guards urged them to use their imprints to assign them a sleeping room. Josh stepped in and looked straight into the mechanical scanner, meanwhile sticking his fingers into a soft goo that read the prints. The machine beeped twice before lightning green.

"Private Dri," the machine sang back to him in a female tone, "level three, section J."

Josh waited dutifully while Markus repeated the procedure, receiving the same exact number as him, except of course for the name part, at least that far they different.

Once inside the ship, Josh couldn't take his mind of how cold the ship looked. The pinnacle of human technology was space travel, or so they said. He often wondered who associated such an achievement with cold and silent interior. All of the walls were silent, cold almost, light silver, the hallways seemed dead.

Everything around them looked the same, a maze of the mundane, leading them towards level three, Section J. Josh always hated these walks, to him they always seemed soul less, lifeless, heartless. One could always see his own reflection either side, so spotless were the walls, always clean. Every wall a carbon copy of the one across from it, nothing stood out. Somehow the pinnacle of human achievement became just another way to decent into the empty spaces, and this hallway was the witness, at least to him.

Once at Section J, they discovered that it was split into two more sections, females and males, also adjacent to two smaller cabins, a med-lab, and a hallway into a group cafeteria. Once in the male barracks, Josh quickly spied the empty bunks by the illuminator and started walking there, Markus followed. Once at the beds they dropped their bags on them, Josh even dared to breathe out, for the first time since last night so it seemed.

A gruff laughter in the background distracted him little, until what felt like a massive hand swung him around. Josh found himself face to face with a massive mountain of a man, foreign eyes drilling into his own.

"Why are you so special as to have a special bunk? Right by the window? What makes you so much different from me."

Josh wanted to laugh in the man's face. This was the Alliance, not kinder garden. Although the man did look large enough to be an undersized gorilla rather than an oversized human, Josh knew size was not enough. It may have worked at the academy, with everyone still green, but not here. And this one ought to learn that, if it be the only thing he learned. He was nothing if not cold in his answer, "probably an IQ above 50."

A few man around the barracks snickered, even some from the 'mountain's' support pack. Josh smiled himself, slightly stretching one side of his mouth upward.

The next second he found himself catching a punch with his hand and twisting the attacking fist behind the man's back, his fingers clutching tightly around the wrist, not hard enough to break, yet hard enough to hurt. The giant tumbled to his knees.

"I am sorry good sir," Josh said, never changing his tone, "would you like my lunch money as a cancellation prize?"

"Fuck you!"

"Ooh, so close, but that is not the answer we were looking for."

Josh released the man's hand. His opponent jumped to his feet, turning quickly, to attack, but he got a face full of biotic push instead, tumbling onto his ass and sliding backwards. Josh smiled he tried to get up again, stasis felt just right.

"Now listen," Josh said, walking up to the man. He couldn't move but he could still hear, and besides he was drilling holes in Josh with his gaze. "We are not in high school anymore, and from now on I would expect you to check your bullshit at the door… Welcome to the Alliance."

The stasis released but the man still sat dumb folded on the floor, staring at Josh.

"This is interesting," an all to familiar female voice said sternly.


	4. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Obviously all of the game characters, places etc. are creative property of BioWare.

Author's Note: In terms of legibility of assigned military rank, I am not as knowledgeable in some aspects to the extends which is desired. However I did use the aid of a few websites and books to try and closely mirror the proper ranking system (as equivalent to US Marines). Because Alliance is a fictional organization however I do not expect that to be too much as a problem, seeing how certain changes could be implemented in the Mass Effect universe.

Chapter 3

There was an uneasy feeling as Josh strengthened his posture, same as everyone in the barracks and stood to salute Captain Rohens. He stood in the main entrance and stared at them, his military clothes decorated by two medals. The man had more, however he was never known for parading his achievements around. Behind him, Josh could spy the Stephanie, she was no less stern than the Captain.

"I am sure your supervising officer will be happy to hear what happened here," the captain spoke, looking strictly at Josh, who did his best to return the courtesy.

"In due time Captain," Stephanie spoke softly, then turned to the soldiers, changing her tone to a more direct one, "listen up, Captain Rohens is here to talk about our assignment, I advise you listen carefully."

"I am a man of few words," Rohens started, finally taking his eyes of Josh, "so I'll be quick."

Josh wanted to chuckle, but did the best to force it back down his throat. Whenever someone said that they were a creature of 'few words' that usually meant the opposite. Ironically enough, saying that you were a 'man of few words' contradicted you just by adding words to what you were about to say. Somehow though, Josh thought that neither the Captain nor Second Lieutenant Sheppard were interested in his musings on the issues of proper conversations.

"As you know," Rohens went on over Josh's musings, "you are to be stationed on Elysium, one of the most successful human colonies. It stands as one of the symbols of humanity's successful expansion and capability to function in the broad galaxy. Because of that, enemies of humanity might find it proper to tear down such a symbol, which is why we require the best and the brightest to defend Elysium."

Josh glanced at the man who assaulted him a few minutes earlier, somehow he couldn't exactly get on board with the "best and the brightest" statement. Yet in situations like this it was easier to let it go.

"Although it may seem as something very ordinary and mundane, the responsibility of maintaining peace and order on Elysium is extremely important to Alliance interests in the galaxy." As Rohen was speaking Sheppard took a step forward, standing at his side now. "This is Second Lieutenant Sheppard; she is your commanding officer at the absence of anyone higher. They're all yours Sheppard."

Without waiting for anything Captain Rohens turned and made his way out of the barracks. The room fell silent for a few moments. Everyone was waiting for what Second Lieutenant had to say, and no one dared speak before her. Josh felt a little soreness from standing straight, but he thought that a fight was enough misbehaviour for one day.

"Obviously," Sheppard started, very direct, "SSV Einstein carries more than sufficient number of troops, however, not all of them are assigned to Elysium. We are one of the few units chose to defend Alliance interests there. I am Second Lieutenant Stephanie Sheppard, and I will be your commanding officer, this one unit has 25 soldiers in it, and I expect to get to know everyone at least relatively, it pays to know your men. Approximate time until the Mass Relay is 2 hours, until that time please take care to receive your issued equipment and undergo proper medical exams with on staff medics. They are also assigned to take a proper examination for biotics. Finally, I will be conducting personal interviews in my cabin. As I said, it pays to know your staff, and as it happens I live and die by that statement. That is all. Get to it soldiers."

She finished and walked off, leaving everyone else standing and staring at each other. The SSV Einstein was already safely out of the docks and moving. Josh looked at Markus, trying to figure out where they should go first. Two hours was ample enough time, however no one knew how long it would take Sheppard to conduct those interviews, granted there was time after hitting the relay, but the prospect of sitting for a drawn out heart to heart with a commanding officer didn't appeal to Josh too much.

"So what do you think," Markus said, getting up and heading towards the door, Josh following closely.

"Of what?"

"Of our command of course," Markus grinned, "we couldn't have gotten more lucky."

"You slept with her friend, not her," Josh kept walking straight, spying the requisitions desk, "and besides I doubt that will give you any special treatment."

The line was already gathering, a soldiers snuck in before them. Josh didn't mind waiting for a bit. The only problem was that these lines usually took a long time due to someone not satisfied with their equipment completely. There was very little this time would be any different.

"Hey," he heard a voice from behind them, someone talking to them, "I saw that thing you did to Brandon, that was cool."

Both Josh and Markus turned to face a smaller man. He was about 5'9, well built and lean, with glasses.

"Arthur Jones," he spoke, stretching his hand.

"Josh."

"Markus."

"How do you know Brandon," Josh asked.

"He was in my graduating class," Arthur responded quickly, "a big gorilla. Was a football player when he was little, still thinks world lines up seniority in terms of size and strength."

"I noticed," Josh tried to study Brandon from far, it was not hard to spot someone that big. The giant didn't seem to feel a gaze on him at all.

"I am excited to serve under Second Lieutenant though," Arthur went on.

"Ecstatic."

"I mean, her record through the Academy is damn near spotless, it is said that during her training exercise she didn't lose a single soldier."

Josh nodded, turning away, Elysium was back, and he couldn't help it. Training exercises. Some went spotless without a single casualty, some...

The face of his commanding officer, or better yet student came into his mind again. Twisted in agony, his bone displaced from joints under a severe biotic push, his eyes begging for something, not even understanding, just mercy, sweet cold mercy of death. He felt it now as if he was back in the mercenary camp.

"Are you okay?" Markus was quick to drag him out of his memories and back to reality. "You seemed to be zoning out there for a second."

"I'm fine."

"Next," the line made its way forward and Josh stepped up to get his regulation equipment. "Name."

"Josh Dri."

A standard issue Alliance pistol and a shotgun appeared in front of him on the table. Both were spotless and new, clean and ready to kill standard biotic issue weapons. They were never trained to use an assault or sniper rifles extensively, which to Josh made no sense. Biotics were better suited for commando units, yet he was not the one to argue. Asari got it right, not everyone could.

Securing his equipment Josh continued staring at the soldier before him, waiting for something else. The eyes shot up and met Josh's right away, not as much confused as angry.

"Yes?"

"I am a biotic..."

The man kept staring back, not even trying to answer, it was clear he was oblivious to what Josh was hinting at. Perhaps this would take a more 'basic' explanation.

"Amplifier..."

The man sat for a few more seconds before his face lighting up as if he remembered something important. He quickly ducked under the table and pulled up a standard issue biotic amp handing it to Josh, without saying a single word in the process though.

Josh took the amp nodding in response, quickly adjusting it around his arm. The weapons on his hip and back gave a slight feeling of reassurance. He wasn't scared of Brandon going off again, after all no one was stupid enough to start shooting on an Alliance carrier dreadnought.

With quick steps Josh headed for Sheppard's cabin. He knew that medical examinations probably came first on the list, but that only meant that Second Lieutenant would be free at the moment. The aspect with going later and talking to her for too long, or even worse when the ship jumped through the Relay did not appeal to him.

His knuckles brushed the cold steel, twice, creating an audible clunk. Even though he was not around to witness the wooden doors Josh felt as if those felt better against the hand. The door slid aside silently, letting him inside and closing behind him.

Stephanie sat at the desk, reading a portfolio; he could not tell who it was on however. His hand shot up to the side of his forehead as she noticed him. "Second Lieutenant."

"Private Joshua Dri," the way she stretched out his name made him feel slightly on the wrong side of uncomfortable, "take a seat."

He made his way towards the desk. The Lieutenant's room had the same set up as the rest of the ship. Maximum efficiency, zero personality. Josh pulled up a chair to lower himself into and started back at Stephanie. In his head he was trying to map up where this conversation would lead, and whether or not there would be any mention of their little adventure at the bar.

_Calm down_, he told himself, _it's not like you slept with her, Markus just slept with her friend. And those thugs too. That was it, if anything I should probably get a thank you for handling the situation._ He almost laughed at the thought, she probably would too.

She put down the folder and leaned forward slightly, "I see a good record from the Academy, pretty much spotless if you ask me, barring the Elysium training exercises."

His stomach twisted, he could feel it again. He felt his face get slightly white and tried to focus. Two of his fingers pinched his leg slightly to force his mind back to reality.

"So," she went on, either not noticing or choosing not to, "I also see you are a biotic, everything in your file is pretty stable, but we'll still run a routine check up." Her hand moved the folder even further as she focused only on the man in front of her. "But all of the technicalities aside, tell me about yourself private."

"That is a pretty ambiguous request," he said, fumbling inside his head a bit, and adding after a pause, "ma'am."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, it is fairly broad," Josh was relaxing a bit now, this wasn't going to be too bad. "Don't get me wrong, I understand where you are coming from, with your desire to know the soldiers, but that is impossible, otherwise you would be stuck in here listening to life stories for a year."

"Very well," she said, leaning back, a hint of a smile crawling onto her lips. "I would just like to know why you joined the Alliance, what motivates you, I need to be sure I can trust my squad."

He looked around, as if searching for an easy answer, what was there to tell after all? This seemed like a run of the mill examination that they gave him before he entered the Academy, why would she bother? Nevertheless, when talking to a commanding officer best respond to their demands.

"Duty," Josh spoke, "I guess. My mom and my dad were both born on Earth, as their parents behind them, they've never actually been off the planet. Many people called them paranoid, I preferred to refer to them as 'old timers'. My sis and I always wanted to leave, but they wrapped us in a protective shell. I mean seeing new worlds seemed like such a great adventure, experiencing something new. It felt a waste to live in one place where the whole galaxy is within reach. A recruiter came by our school one day and I put my name up, just like that. And now I am here."

"Do that often Private?"

"Do what often?"

"Make decisions without consultation? Rash actions lead to worse consequences," she was smiling a bit more now, switching to a more familiar tone.

"Look," he leaned forward, taking her challenge head on, "my dad always taught me to do, to act, not to contemplate about acting, because the more you contemplate the you do. I am not stupid, and I know how to calculate situations I am in, however, I don't sit there for hours doing nothing. If I see a way to do something I will do it."

"Just like in the bar?"

"Just like in the bar," Josh knew where this was going from the start. She was fresh out of the Academy, just like him, only she was a commanding officer. A 'do it right by the book' type too.

"And consequences?"

"Are my responsibility," he shot right back. "Look, if I was one of the people sitting behind a holo-map, screaming orders and acting off the top of my head, then yes, perhaps that would make me a fucking useless type of soldier. But I act, and I take responsibilities for my actions, unlike other people who sit and watch other people die for their mistakes."

His tone was higher now, he felt like he was losing himself a bit. The images from Elysium came back into his head once again. Except this time it was their squad commander, their teacher, sending them in on their own.

"Like on Elysium?"

Josh was knocked back by that. She told him that she knew, but she never told him that she _knew_. What he did that day was not by any means following orders, but he did what was necessary, he saved some lives, he lost a couple, but that was the only choice. He would not let her chastise him, here, and not now; not ever.

"Yes ma'am," he said leaning back, and calming himself, "like on Elysium."

"Josh," her tone got softer now, she looked him straight in the eyes, "I've read your record, and I know what you did. I've even spoken to Sergeant Arrmi. Lives were lost, but if it wasn't for what you did, perhaps your whole squad would be dust on Elysium and you wouldn't be here. I do not carry this interviews to intimidate or play mental games with my squad, I just want to know where they stand."

He looked up at here. She knew. Josh didn't want anyone to know though, it was his fault, and he didn't want anyone to know. He could still hear their screams, Aleena's laughter. That was not something a man got over easily, yet he tried so hard, to forget, to at least push it behind.

"You can go," she said, but then raising her hand as he got up, "and go to requisitions and get other weapons, they must have not gotten the message from the Captain."

"I got my weapons already," Josh said, confused.

"Those are not Corporal issued," she spoke.

"I don't understand."

"In light of what happened on Elysium," she said, pausing, "as well as my recommendation from your actions in the bar on Earth the Alliance has granted Private Joshua Dri a rank of Corporal."

He stood there looking at her as if she just told him he won the lottery. This had to be a joke. Any moment a clown would jump out of the locker and laugh at him. 'Actions on Elysium' killed 5 people, psychologically harmed three more, one of the a student from the officer groups at the Academy.

"Are you going to take it or not?" she smiled, standing up and saluting.

"I am just slightly confused as to which one of my enthusiastic endeavours brought this on," he still couldn't find the ground beneath his feet, feeling weak. _Corporal_.

"You will be in charge of a 4-man unit, and have just become Fire-Team Bravo leader. I will let you choose your own four, with my approval. The rest will be briefed so they know as well. Dismissed."

Josh saluted in Stephanie's direction but he suspected he has done that in a lacklustre fashion. _Corporal_. Because of the expansion of the Alliance staff numbers there was a request for both commissioned and non-commissioned officers. People moved up the ranks faster now. At first, this brought on some troublesome ideas that perhaps not everyone who got promoted deserved it, however the Alliance became more tedious in their promotion process. If someone got one, everyone could bet their life that it came through many levels of command beforehand.

Josh walked back to the requisitions desk through the little haze. He couldn't quite figure out if he was excited or upset. This meant more responsibility, on the other hand, this meant more responsibility. The duality of things was a bitch, and this one was not going to play. He had to pick a four man fire team as well.

As one of the soldiers walked away with his new weapons, Josh squeezed right in, pushing whoever stood behind him away.

"What the fuck?" he heard a coarse voice that most definitely belonged to Brandon.

"I need an upgrade," Josh ignored the angry cursing behind him as he put his shotgun and pistol in front of the officer.

The man looked at Josh, obviously recalling the amplifier incident and went into his files again, checking to make sure that everything was in order. He then looked up as if to check, but spoke with a more apologetic tone, "I am sorry Corporal."

He took the weapons back and replaced them with the Kessler III model pistol and Storm II shotgun. Both manufactured by the Hahne-Kedar Corporation back on Earth. At least Alliance was supported by the home team and investing in the home manufacturer rather than turning to someone else.

Josh than turned to face Brandon. The anger on the giant man's face has receded somewhat, no doubt because he heard how the requisitions officer addressed him. Josh suspected that he would no longer have to deal with stupid incidents like before, but just in case he held the stare on Brandon for a couple more seconds before walking towards the med bay.

The door slid open right in front of him, letting out Markus, smiling as always. "Josh," he spoke, "how was the interview?"

"Same as everything else," Josh said, walking past Markus into the med bay. He didn't exactly feel like talking at the moment.

"Hi," the doctor said, she was in her mid 40s, with a very 'official' kind of look. She donned the white doctor-robe and was equipped to the teeth with any tool related to medicine. "Name?"

"Corporal Josh Dri," somehow calling himself that didn't make him feel better about it.

The doctor looked through her database on the Omni-Tool before typing something in. Josh heard two beeps as she looked up to face him. "Biotic huh?" something about the way she said 'biotic' didn't sit right with her, perhaps she was an L2, or maybe she just hated biotics all together, many people did. "You have to go into the next room for your examination."

Josh nodded and headed through the second door. Somehow he felt better about not being examined by the first doctor. Something in his mind classified her as a bitch, maybe even a first class bitch. Once he passed through the door, he stopped, his eyes falling on the medic.

She was not too tall 5'8, maybe 5'9, with a slim athletic figure. She was not wearing a robe, so a pair of pants and a shirt complimented her body perfectly. Her skin was slightly tanned, with lighter tones still visible. Auburn hair would probably end at the shoulders if it wasn't tied in a ponytail behind her head. But what caught him was the eyes, for a second he was caught in the sea of blue.

"Please come in," she paused to fumble through her Omni-Tool, no doubt searching for his name, "Corporal."

"Thank you," he moved slowly, not daring to look away. _Great_, he thought to himself sarcastically, _a promotion and now this. Stop drooling you idiot. _

She ran a few routine medical tests on him at the start. Checking his reflexes, sight, all of the other basics before switching to biotics. All the while neither of them said a single word to each other.

"Okay," she said, finishing up on his eyes, "you're general health seems to be in order, now let's check those biotics, Corporal."

"Josh."

"Excuse me," she sounded slightly confused.

"You can call me Josh," he felt like he placed a little too much emphasis on the 'you.' "It's just that I just got promoted, so it seems, it's still hard to get used to the title."

"The more reason to encourage people to use it," she smiled, "Josh."

"Thanks..."

"Tanya," she fiddled with her own amp, switching a couple of things. After that Tanya flicked a few things on her Omni-Tool as well. "Now if you can pull that class."

He did as she bid him, not really focusing. L3 mark biotics were really more functional than L2s ever were, however that wasn't saying much. It still took an incredible amount of time to learn to use them properly and adjust, he was the fastest in his class. "So what convinced you to serve in the Alliance Med-Bay Tanya?"

"Very good," she said in response to the cup, moving back a bit to bring up a few more objects on the table. "My dad owned a clinic, wanted me to be a doctor like him. I agreed, only on the condition that I do it for the Alliance, wanted to see the space. Now push."

He pushed, seeing a quick stream rush through and knock over some of the objects. "Sounds like a decent trade."

"Oh it was. Warp."

Josh focused again, concentrating his powers. The air around the objects got denser, focusing on one point. "You're part of the squad Tanya, or just assigned for the duration of the examinations?"

"Part of the squad," she said checking a few other things into her Omni-Tool, "lift. But unfortunately I do not believe in what your tone of voice is hinting at, its highly against the protocol."

He wanted to laugh, that almost broke his concentration and dropped the books he was levitating with his lift biotic ability. "What keeping people company at lunch with conversation? I must have missed that section at the Academy."

She smiled, only slightly perking the sides of her lips upwards, but Josh noticed that. "Sounds very much like a form of a date Corporal," Tanya banged a few more keys on her Omni-Tool, "Singularity."

This one was hard. He had to attune himself a bit more, trying to attune to his amp a bit better. After a moment a few objects still on the table started to shift or float towards the spot he selected. "I just call it being friendly. You ought to know that Second Lieutenant Sheppard has a policy about knowing her squad, I'd just want to know who will be healing me once I get shot at."

"What makes you think you'll get shot at," Tanya smiled, rolling a ball towards him. "Stasis."

The ball froze in place, for a few seconds before continuing its way forward, "with my luck Tanya, its almost a certainty by now. Besides, you are way more interesting that the bunch of brain-dead animals I share barracks with. Something tells me that the conversation about variations on the bench press will get stale fast."

She laughed again, this time a little more openly. "Well if you put it that way, I may just come find you at meal time." Tanya's hand went into the drawer as she pulled a Kessler I, standard issue medical-officer pistol, pointing it at Josh's feet. "And you were right about getting shot at though. Barrier."

He focused a bit more. A bluish glow surrounded his body, it felt almost gooey, laying close around his skin and clothes. Tanya aimed and fired. The bullet hit the barrier but did not go through it. Once Tanya put away the gun Josh released the barrier, it was quite enough for one day of biotics.

"We're all good here Corporal," Tanya said, keying in a few more notes onto her Omni-Tool, which she would no doubt then transfer to her computer and then to the Alliance database through the intranet. "I'll find you at lunch?"

"You won't have to look too hard I hope," he smiled at her and headed out through the side door that led straight into the hallways. There was still some time until SSV Einstein reached the mass relay, he planned to spent that time in his bed, maybe even sleeping.

Most of the soldiers around him rushed to different place, none still finished with their full examinations. It seemed that Sheppard was grilling the new men pretty hard, Josh had his own squad to choose from too, but that could wait. He probably should have asked Sheppard for the personal files, but he'd rather get to know them face to face. A paper could answer your questions, but probably wouldn't articulate the answers as well as desired.

By the time he reached his bed he felt already kind of tired. The sleeping quarters were empty, everyone still running by their business. Josh slipped out of his shoes and reclined onto his bed. The moment his head hit the pillow he drifted off into a different world of dreams. Only this time, he did not dream of Aleena for a change.


	5. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Obviously all of the game characters, places etc. are creative property of BioWare.

Author's Note: Okay, thanks for the lone review. In all honesty, I have been pretty diligent in terms of updates, especially lately, but I will be going home for new years so might not be able to do the almost daily thing as I did with the last two or three chapters. In the time that I'm gone it would be nice to get some reviews in. Thanks.

Chapter 4

They were fed after the ship jumped through the relay. Josh really appreciated the timing, mostly because he had pretty strong beliefs about food staying inside his stomach rather than exiting right out. For the last hour he spent his time studying files in Sheppard's cabin. Something he found more tedious than enjoyable, but he had to pick out four people he found suitable to be on the 'fire-team'.

Sheppard was sitting right across from him, busy with the files he either already read or haven't gotten to yet. Either way she was just as focused as he was. Josh looked up from time to time, and the Second Lieutenant seemed way more into the whole process than he was. Maybe she was more dedicated, or just better at doing things like these.

He didn't want to base his selections strictly on personal files so Josh really spent the meal time in the mess hall trying to get to know some of the soldiers he thought best suited, without explicitly hinting at their records of course. He had a decent idea of who he was going to go with, and what's more, he also got to know some of the others. Sheppard's squad had the potential to become one of the most tight knit units, or so he thought.

Even so, the whole speech about this being one of the more important assignments by Captain Rohens was clearly bullshit, and anyone with half a brain should have been able to see that. This wasn't one of those "get-you-a-medal-even-if-it-is-pinned-to-the-casket" assignments. It was a run of the mill, mundane and regular one.

Elysium, being one of the most successful and important human colonies, was tightly protected, always under watch, and never too close to enemy territories. Most of the problems that ever happened which required military intervention could and usually were solved by final year units out of the Academy without problems. Usually.

Josh looked up again trying to guess if Sheppard shared his enthusiasm, but never actually asked here. He reached for the last file and studied it carefully. He wanted to punch himself for even thinking about it, but Brandon Jaszpirovski was a good bet to add to his unit. Sure the man had an IQ of a table spoon, but all of his other tests were damn near perfect. And he was built like an antique dresser, one of those with extra compartments on top, especially heavy.

Sheppard's omni-tool beeped on her hand. The Second Lieutenant pressed a few keys and looked up at Josh. "You can go back to the sleeping quarters, and tell everyone to get ready. We are close to Elysium."

Josh nodded and put down the folder. He needed a few more checks but after the landing he would probably go see Sheppard about his unit, looking for approval more than anything else.

On his way to the sleeping quarters Josh fought the desire to stop by the med-bay, check up on Tanya. She came through with the promise of actually eating next to him, and they had a pretty decent conversation. It turned out she also had a sister, serving on one of the colonies, Eden Prime. Josh felt as though they've had fun behind the conversation, but decided to pay Tanya a visit when they landed on Elysium, under the pretence to help her unpack.

Josh was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't even notice that his feet were already firmly in the middle of the Section J sleeping quarters. He looked around to make sure no one focused on him for a long time, trying to look a little less like an idiot. "You boys might want to get your shit ready," he said, heading for his own bunk, trying to figure out what was the point of the bunks anyways since Elysium was so close. "We're almost there."

Just as on cue the intercom came one, generic female voice giving instructions. "All units assigned to Elysium please mare your ways towards shuttle docks."

Everyone grabbed their stuff and headed through the hallways to where Josh supposed the shuttle docks were. Either way, he just chose to follow people who knew where they were going to.

Once at the docks, he noted that there were also three more units of similar size piling onto the shuttles, one per unit. With the side of his eye Josh caught Tanya getting onto the shuttle ahead of him. He wanted to push through, but it didn't seem like a good idea, and besides Tanya wouldn't go anywhere, he'd already made plans to see her upon landing, mostly in his head, but Josh hoped she wouldn't mind.

Once on the shuttle he found a free seat and settles for a ride.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The last few hours really made his head hurt. Everything went quite smooth so he couldn't really complain, but it was still tiresome. After the landing they were assigned sleeping quarters right away, and Sheppard threatened to assigned patrol shifts right away, but no one was too worried about that. The Second Lieutenant looked too tired to take care of the issue, so they thought.

The sleeping arrangements weren't final at the moment. Josh knew that a lot of stuff will be rearrange once he and one other private turned Corporal picked their fire teams, to keep the unity up. He wasn't exactly looking forward to that moment, but he hoped that because of his sudden and unexpected seniority in terms of rank he wouldn't have to move.

Once settled, Josh made his way towards the medical quarters. The lab was empting, but the adjoining rooms were sure to be full. Unlike the regular soldiers, medics got private quarters.

The door slid open before him and he barged into Tanya's room. He was hoping to be a little more subtle but tripping over a bag in front of him certainly did not help. He almost tumbled down, drawing a small giggle from Tanya.

"You are very gracious Corporal," Tanya smiled, helping him regain his balance, "come to help me set up my quarters?"

"Actually," Josh said, looking around, "I need to double check on two biotic examinations, but I guess if you need help I can do that too."

"I'm all good Josh, but thanks." She smiled again, making his stomach quiver just a bit of excitement, she was truly gorgeous. "Took you long enough. Anyways, which files do you need."

"Kamilah Alee and David Nalah," he said, sitting down in her chair and putting his feet up on the desk. "Why do you get such nice rooms anyways? I am a corporal and I have to sleep with everyone else."

"I'm prettier," Tanya joked, banging away on her omni-tool. "Nalah's an L2. His biotic tests were average, nothing to write home about. His L2 acts up though from time to time. Get's disoriented, coupled with bursts of head pain. Alee, she is an L3. Her tests ran at the top of the charts. Very little concentration, very good performance. Her biotics felt like an extension of her."

"Thanks," Josh smiled, "and you're right about the pretty thing."

He looked down jokingly and brought his hands together, where breast should have been if he had been a woman, pretending to squeeze his hypothetical tits together. Tanya threw a pen at him, hitting him square in the face, then laughing.

"That was not nice," he picked up the pen, ready to retaliate.

"Listen Josh," Tanya got serious suddenly, almost surprising him with the sudden change of tone, "I wanted to ask you something. If you don't mind of course."

"I really don't," he said, trying to recline further in the chair. "It did hurt when I fell from heaven."

"Not that," she smiled again, but never reverting back to her light hearted attitude, "it's about what Markus said at the mess hall. About Elysium."

Josh leaned forward in the chair, he looked straight at her. His head started to hurt as he felt Aleena's presence inside. It always felt so real, as if she was there with him, still doing those horrible things to him. Over and over again.

"I'm sorry," Tanya said, sitting across from him, "you don't have to tell me if you don't want to. It's just..." she paused, searching for the right way to go on, "I was always fascinated by biotics, and never heard of anyone having such and influence. I wondered how..."

The silence felt over the room. She looked at him with those deep eyes of hers. Josh didn't really know why he opened his mouth just then. One second he wanted to kill Markus for loosening his tongue, but then he just opened his mouth and started talking.

"It was a training mission, back in the Academy," Josh started, "they usually take students for easy missions like these, testing us in the field, real situations. A group of Batarian mercenaries landed on the planet. The Alliance followed them for a bit, it was a stolen craft, and we saw through the falsified licenses. According to our leaders it was a simple raid, nothing more. There were 15 of us. Strike Team Birmingham, named after where the officer was from. James McIvoy, young, wanted to become a Lieutenant."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"_Okay," James spoke, overlooking his squad, "I know this is just a training exercise, but these Batarians are a real deal, and they are threatening a small human settlement and it is our job to neutralize them."_

_Josh looked around, studying the faces of those around him. They were quite close to the landed shuttle and according to intel the raiders were not in any real hurry. Probably oblivious to the human squad closing in on them. He then looked to Mark to his left. He was beaming. This was finally the chance they all wanted, and Mark ached to prove that he was one of the best._

_Josh checked his own weapons. The assault rifle felt uncomfortable in his hand. He hasn't trained with this weapon much, but he knew the basics. Point-and-shoot, what could be any simpler than that. The whole squad was impatient, even jumpy, no one able to stay still. _

"_Okay, we all know our squads," James went on, "Alpha and Bravo will surround and infiltrate the camp. Josh, you and Charlie Team will provide covering fire from the elevated position. Everyone on point? Okay, move out."_

_They all moved breaking into their small groups of five. Josh led his onto the hill beside the fork in the road they started at. He trusted his squad to the grave, there were no men better for the job, he thought. Mark was one of the best snipers in the squad and his childhood friend; Lucky Jack had never missed a shot, if Mark was one of the best he was the best; Zeke was a big football player type, built for scraps, Josh remembered meeting his dad once, besides Zeke his dad looked almost miniature, dressed in traditional Japanese outfits; Lawrence was the marksman, his reaction time was up there with the best of them and God, some joked he saw people move before they actually did._

"_Can't wait to get this over with," Zeke mumbled to himself, "its bullshit like this that pisses me off. A few Batarians, and I have to lay down support, fuck that!"_

_Zeke was an assault guy. He relied on his assault rifle and shotguns more than on anything else, but was assigned to Charlie just in case they got exposed. It made Josh feel safer, but Zeke wouldn't shut up about it. Josh often wondered if the trade off was worth it._

"_Are you kidding me?" Mark said, "we've been waiting for this shit all through the boring ass classes." He turned to Josh, addressing him personally, "what do you think Talia will say when I tell her that we finished our first assignment?"_

"_How should I know, you're the one dating her" Josh shrugged, "and besides, it's hardly an assignment."  
_

_Lawrence always liked to but in with his quick comments, "what do you care, you're fucking this girl already, not like you're trying to impress her."_

"_You shut the fuck up," Mark said, through a smile, jokingly pushing Lawrence off._

_Josh glanced at Jack who was walking silently as always. Lucky Jack rarely said a thing, and when he did everyone listened. The man was always calm and collected, composed in the face of anything he faced. He didn't believe in wasting words either, truly a man of his words._

"_You don't understand anyways," Mark went on, "her pops is one of those old military types, always going on about how his daughter can only go out with a 'real man.'"_

_Josh raised his arm, the Batarian camp was coming into site below them. "Cut the chatter," he said quietly._

_Everyone dispersed taking positions behind the rocks and everywhere else where cover was available. Josh raised his hand to his ear and pressed the communicator button. "Charlie in position."_

"_Bravo in position."_

_A few more seconds of static passed before James' voice came in through the static, "Alpha in position." Another pause. "Let's move." _

_Josh could see the two squads moving from cover and moving a little closer to the camp. He then looked to Lawrence pulling out his monocular and zooming in on the camp. His second hand worked the omni-tool the best it could, banging in co-ordinates to both Mark's and Jack's snipers, highlighting targets with a warm yellow right._

_Mark fired, so did Jack, Josh saw two Batarian's fall down, Lawrence passed on a few more coordinates, and a few more shots followed. Josh kept his own binoculars out, but his second hand pressed the communicator deeper into his ear, listening to the chatter. All of the voices got mixed he couldn't really tell who was saying what though._

"_Hostile on the left."_

"_He's down."_

"_Two more straight ahead."_

"_Providing suppressing fire."_

"_Move up, move up," that one clearly belonged to James. "Clear the area, Charlie, you see any movement?"_

"_Negative," Lawrence answered. "Wait, three to your left." Three shots followed._

"_Move, move."_

"_Sir, you best come over here and check this out." _

_Alpha and Bravo disappeared behind the mercenary ship. A few seconds of intercom silence almost drove Josh insane. There was nothing as scary in the field as complete silence of anticipation. _

"_What the fuck is this? Call comm...." a few shots interrupted the chatter. Most of the unit were behind the ship, obstructing the view from Charlie's position. Josh shifted uneasily. _

"_Alpha... Alpha... Respond."_

"_Charlie," James' voice sounded painful, "contact command, do not move in, retre..." the chatter was cut off as suddenly as it started. _

_Josh quickly banged onto his omin-tool, catching the command frequency. "Command, we have a situation, Birmingham squad under attack, request assistance."_

"_Sit tight Birmingham. ETA 10 minutes."_

"_We have to move," Josh said as soon as the chatter cut out._

"_They said sit tight," Mark said, "they'll get here."_

_A few more shots went off from the direction of the camp. Josh looked to Lucky Jack, who nodded in return. Zeke's fingers were already anxiously gripping at his assault rifle, just itching to fire some led into whoever._

"_We're moving," Josh said, "we don't have ten minutes."_

_The hill was steep, but there was no other options. Josh almost slipped twice but kept moving regardless. His pistol was out, a weapon he was more used to than the cumbersome assault rifle which felt like a jack hammer in his hands. This was more like a scalpel. The rest of Charlie was right behind him._

"_Surround the ship," Josh said as they descended, taking the left with Zeke, the rest going to the right. _

_He crept silently around the corner, more gunfire was heard, then screams. Josh saw as mall blue wave weave its way through the air, as if someone was manipulating element zero... It couldn't be, the intel report said these Batarians were straight soldiers. _

_An enemy popped out, forcing Josh out of his worries. He ducked behind the nearest rock as the assault rifle left a few holes on the other side of his cover. The Batarian started moving up as Josh popped out, aiming his pistol. Before he could press the trigger a shotgun blast ripped through the left side of the Batarian's abdominal, blood spraying everywhere. _

"_Yeah!!!" Zeke screamed, rushing from the side, "and he's outta here!!"_

_Someone screamed, someone sounding like Mark, making both Zeke and Josh speed up. As they ran out into the open both froze in their places. Most of the crew lay dead or dying, a couple still screaming. Both Josh and Zeke looked confused before their eyes found an Asari, holding her hand on Mark's forehead. _

"_You bitch!" Zeke screamed, loosening a shotgun blast, his bullets stopped by the biotic barrier._

_The Asari turned, throwing Zeke away with a quick biotic push. She then pushed Mark and his body flopped backwards, not lifeless but unconscious, and moved towards Josh. His eyes met her and he saw fear in them. As she moved, Josh loosed about five shots, but none touched her body. Caught in her eyes he couldn't move._

_A big shape pushed him to the ground as Zeke rushed past him, his shotgun ready to be used as a bat. He came in ready to smash her head, but instead, stopped a few seconds from her, Asari's head on his head._

"_You're a strong one," she smiled, but her tone did not indicate that she was enjoying this, it was more pained than not. "Everyone has a string though... And here it is."_

_Zeke screamed. Josh heard Ezekiel Camwee scream a number of times, but never like this. There was terror in his scream instead of excitement, there was pain instead of a battle cry. For a second he found himself stuck to the floor, as if captured by stasis, not able to move. Then he saw Zeke drop, and twitch._

_Josh gathered his thoughts, his hand shot forward, sending a push towards the Asari, nothing happened. She walked through it as if it wasn't even there. His hand went up, the pistol losing five more rounds in her direction. Nothing._

_She was by him now, her hand reaching, him feeling something. All he had to do was stalk her, just give the support team a little more time to get there, just a little more. He reached for her hand wanting to grab it, she slapped it away. _

"_I'm sorry," the Asari whispered, real pain in her eyes, and then he felt it._

_Josh saw his mother, on her death bed again, dying. He saw his father, turning to him, blaming him, even though it wasn't his fault. He saw them alive for a second, before the fabtic of that reality burned like a photograph would. He saw his sister, dying, crying, screaming for him to help, the more he ran the she was from him. He couldn't reach her. He saw his niece, falling, he was there to catch her but she just went through his hands like through water and kept falling, screaming. He saw the world burning and felt himself on fire. _

You must not scream_, Josh told himself, then he screamed. _

_When the world came into view again, he was on a ship, probably in the med-bay. He looked right to see a few people lying, one of them Lucky Jack. His head twisted the other way to see Zeke. There were six of them there. James, Mark and Lawrence never made it. Jack was badly injured, Zeke was still shaking. One of the other soldiers was muttering something to himself. The other two were simply moaning._

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It felt like the best time to stop. Josh looked up at Tanya, her eyes almost water, but she hid it well. He never got why women got really emotional about stuff that was not affecting them. He understood sympathy but there had to be some sort of a limit. She stared at him, speechless for a second before finally finding the strength to speak.

"What happened to the rest?"

"Two more died when we got back, Lucky Jack lost the use of his left arm and got decommissioned before even graduating, no one needs a cripple sniper. He owns a gun shop back home, private supplies, never to the Alliance. They still pay him compensation. Zeke killed himself shortly after we landed."

"I am so sorry."

"Did you do it?"

"What?" Tanya seemed confused.

"Did you have anything to do with that Asari doing these things to us," Josh clarified.

"No, of course not, how could I," he could feel tones of terror in her voice, as if he suddenly flipped and would go crazy on her.

"Then why would you be sorry," he said getting up, "I'm sorry. I'll talk to you later Tanya. I have to go clear my selections with Sheppard."

As he walked away he could feel her gaze fixated on his back. He didn't tell this story to get her emotional, he didn't tell the story for sympathy, he didn't know why he even opened his mouth. But it never felt so good to let it out. Tanya was the only person outside of his sister he ever told.


	6. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Obviously all of the game characters, places etc. are creative property of BioWare.

From this point on I will also address any questions in the reviews or give my responses to them in each upcoming chapter if there are any reviews to see. I realize that I've been spitting chapters out like vomit, but I am away from home visiting my dad, and really, there is very little to do at night for the fact that girlfriend, friends, and 360 all stayed behind and only my laptop is with me. Enjoy it while it lasts since when second semester starts I'll probably slow down.

Blackrain: I tried to do a lot of background for my character, and adding a little more, I just feel that before the story gets into the swing of Mass Effect events its better to present his motivations beforehand. Wasn't too sure on how the flashbacks are working so far, but hopefully good. In terms of feeling like a novel, I treat all of my writing be it fan fiction or just regular fiction as a part of something bigger so I guess I'm just used to writing that way.

Case Dawgz: It's great to hear your review from this considering that I think that your Kaidan story is one of the best I ever wrote. I wish there was a bigger Mass Effect community where I could find more readings like yours to begin with. And I actually used that line in real life with my girlfriend, she laughed, figured good writers mesh life and fiction (not that I'm a particularly good writer or anything, :P, just trying to be). About fitting into the Mass Effect universe, this actually gave me a chance to go into a new Character, brush up on the Codex and such.

Chapter 5

"I can give you Alee, Griffin, and Kamara," Sheppard said, looking through Josh's list, "but both Jaszpirovski and Nalah are spoken for."

Josh felt a little relief that he didn't have to put Brandon on the team, but was afraid to let it show. A quick look from Sheppard let him know that perhaps he was a little explicit with his excitement. Quickly he lowered his eyes back down onto his list, trying to pick out a suitable candidate. Somehow he didn't want Markus, not even if they were friends, perhaps even because they were friends.

His eyes stopped on another name, he remembered the smaller guy who talked to them in line about Brandon, the one who pointed him out. Somehow he skipped him in his selection process, but Arthur Jones was perfect. A brilliant technician by the Academy standards, damn near genius, his combat stats were not bad either.

"Arthur Jones," Josh said handing the proper file to Stephanie.

Second Lieutenant Sheppard looked over the file and then picked up another piece of paper from the table. After studying that for half a minute she turned back to Josh and nodded. "Okay, you got them."

Josh nodded, and satisfied started to head towards the door, but then something hit him and he turned back. "I probably should have asked this earlier, but what does being a leader of this, 'fire-team', entail exactly?"

Sheppard smiled at him and gracefully showed him back to his seat with her hand. She then reached for a pitcher of water and refilled both her and his glasses. Before starting to talk she took a deep gulp, Josh did the same.

"We both know that Elysium will probably show us very little action," she commented, "so I doubt that it will actually come to full scale military operations. However, in that time we will continue with general training to maintain soldiers in shape, there will be special exercises for 'fire-team' leaders to carry out."

"Fantastic," Josh tried not to sound too sarcastic, but failed, catching an accusing look from Sheppard.

"Also, you will be scheduled for patrol assignments in one group, and your little remark just earned your guys tomorrow morning."

Josh raised his eyes and met Sheppard's gaze. Although her tone was serious her expression was beyond light, she was smiling, her lips perking upward in a very attracting fashion. She raised one of her eyebrows and fought back a small chuckle.

"You can go Corporal."

Josh gave her a mock bow and headed towards the door. He tried to process what just happened. Was Stephanie coming around to him, or was she just doing what all women did and tried to play mind games. He hated that. Somehow life would seem easier if each woman came with an instruction manual so you don't turn the wrong knobs accidentally.

"Oh and Corporal," she said, stopping him at the door, tone now lighter.

"Yes Second Lieutenant."

"Stop flirting with my medics."

"It's medic ma'am," Josh fought back a smile, "singular."

He walked out the door and tried not to laugh. Just like at the Academy, nothing stayed secret for too long here either or so it seemed. He made a mental note to watch himself more carefully in the near future. Couldn't afford any slip-ups when in control of a four man unit. Speaking of his unit, he needed to break the sad news to them that they were on duty as early as tomorrow.

Overall he was satisfied with his choices, after studying the files these seemed like the best four people to select. He wasn't surprised that the other Corporal chose two of his initial selections but was slightly puzzled as to why she didn't request the rest, maybe he saw something she didn't, or perhaps she did. No matter, they were his now, and even though he was probably in the same classes with most of them, he had to be their leader, at least when Stephanie wasn't there.

It's going to be a blast, Josh thought, not at all enthused by his near future.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"... So then we had to chase down the remaining mercenaries, taking them out one by one," Amari Kamara finished his story as the squad made their way down the patrol route.

Josh was slightly ahead of the rest, trying to zone the man out. Even though Kamara was of mixed origin, just like the majority of Earth clan now, his dominant oriental features led everyone to suspect that he would be very zen-like in his nature. They could not have been more wrong. For the past 20 minutes Josh thought only about one thing: the best way to tell Amari too simply shut the fuck up. Somehow that didn't seem like a good first impression.

"Sounds fascinating," Arthur replied, his tone of voice indicating that he was as much annoyed as Josh was.

"Are you kidding me," Amari went on, "that was one of the best times of my life," he gave way to a slight pause and lots of false hope, "so far."

"Those are just training exercises," Kamilah said, almost catching up with Josh, "don't get too excited until you see real action, am I right Corporal?"

Josh glanced at Kamilah walking beside him, taking his eyes away quickly and not letting them linger. Kamilah was the proper definition of gorgeous by any standard. Her figure was perfectly curved and one could imagine that stripped of her clothes she would be right at home on some magazine's centerfold. Her hazel eyes glimmered whenever she spoke. Her dark blond hair hung just below her shoulders with even dark brown streaks throughout. Her lips were the lightest shade of strawberry.

Despite her looks, Kamilah seemed to be stern and direct, borderline official. Josh suspected that she was afraid that everyone would overlook her as just a pretty figure, which she was, and not treat her professionally. She dressed on par with male soldiers and always talked directly, without any lingering thoughts. From his talks with her during the flight and more formal interviews however, Josh came to know a softer side, more friendly and open, which emerged only when her professionalism was recognized."

"How am I supposed to know," Josh shrugged, trying to keep his tone light. "Saw just about as much action as all of you."

"Something got you that promotion though," Arthur smiled, as the rest of the squad caught up to him.

"A bar brawl..."

"Get out of her," Kamara butted in again, "really? I should at least be a Sergeant by now."

"Second Lieutenant just happened to be at a bar that day," Josh spoke fast, almost cutting Amari off, impeding his ability to soliloquize for any longer.

"Still sounds kind of... to easy," Ami Griffin retorted, "I'd expect Corporal's to be built of harder stuff, and more mature, no offence sir, than bar brawlers."

Josh glanced at her and smiled. Ami was the exact opposite of Kamilah. A little too big to be conventionally pretty, about 6'3, and overall muscled. It showed in her character that she had to deal with her size through life, probably because of the maturity level of kinder gardeners. Her profile said that she was dedicated to training and that was evident. A heavy gunner, Ami preferred large weapons with a lot of stopping power, and her strength was unmatched by most people in Sheppard's unit. Josh dared to wonder who would win in a fight, Ami or Brandon.

"Common Corporal," Amari started again, "at least your training exercise should have been fun and memorable."

"You know what you are right," Josh said, putting in sarcastic undertones, "there was that one time, here on Elysium, we had to handle a mercenary group consisting of Batarian's. Only that an Asari commando-turned-mercenary showed up and killed a large part of my squad and driving most of those who survived insane. That one was tones of fun."

Amari's mouth hung open, as if he was gasping for air, the familiar sparkle disappeared from his eyes and Josh was afraid that he really spooked him. Kamilah saved him, "I am so sorry Corporal, we didn't know."

"I know you didn't, I just don't really like to talk about it," he said.

"Must have been hard on you," Ami said softly, "seeing your classmates... I am sorry I am getting to far."

"Don't worry about," Josh said, fighting back the memory, "it's nothing but a dream now. I'll live."

The rest of the patrol went through without too much talking. Josh felt a little guilty for throwing everyone off their groove. There was no need for what he said, but perhaps it was worth a few hours of silence from Amari. Even so, the rest of their time together would be interesting, he would have to make it up to them somehow, it was not their fault and the outburst was a little unnecessary.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Josh was sitting before an Alliance committee, Admiral Hackett at the head. A few other high-ranked officers at on either side of him, Josh couldn't recall their names, but Hackett did most of the talking so that was somewhat irrelevant. Well Hackett and that Asari Matriarch, what was her name... Benezia, that's the one. _

"_So everything in this report is correct private?" Hackett spoke, glancing up from the reports in his hand._

"_Yes sir," there was a sharpness in Josh's responses, like he was being interrogated, which he suspected was more of a case than anything else. "Exactly like I said it before."_

"_The order from your commanding officer was to remain and wait for reinforcements," Hackett went on slowly, it was less of a question but rather a drawn out stamen, as if repeating the obvious made the truth any more apparent than it already was. "While you overruled that by your own judgement and went in."_

"_Yes sir," Josh came right back, "the reinforcement ETA was ten minutes, judging from the mission progress as well as comm chatter the rest of our squad did not have the luxury of ten minutes."_

"_He is correct Admiral," the Matriarch spoke up, silencing any chatter, "the others testified the exact same story."_

Yeah, right, testified_, Josh thought, _you got into their heads, you bitch, just like that other one.

_He could hate the Matriarch all he wanted, but such joining would not be possible without consent of both partners. Everyone else gave her an agreement, including Lucky Jack, everyone but Zeke, but Josh sincerely doubted that Zeke was in any state to give his consent for anything right now. _

"_Private Dri," Hackett looked at him, "I believe that your actions may have saved the lives of a few fellow students."_

At the expense of a few others_, Josh thought._

"_We all mourn the lives that were lost during the training mission, but your actions and decision making gave the reinforcement squads ample time to defuse the nuclear device planted by the Asari comman..." he quickly glanced at Benezia and went on, "mercenary. Without your actions many citizens of Elysium would not be alive today. You did your duty to the best of your abilities, and for this the Alliance thanks you. However, in respect to all the consequences there will not be any formal recognition until the full investigation is complete."_

_Josh could read something else behind Hackett's slick speech. He suspected that the Admiral did not fully agree with what he was actually saying, and behind those eyes he could see a certain level of hostility. Josh almost knew that Hackett would prefer to dismiss him and put this whole episode behind the Alliance, but the rest of the committee thought otherwise. _

"_Private," Benezia spoke when Hackett was finished, "I offer you another opportunity to put those experiences behind you."_

"_With all due respect Lady Benezia," he tried to hide his anger behind fake courtesies, somehow Josh thought he failed, "I'd prefer if there remained at least one person who kept the memory."_

"_The choice is yours," Benezia nodded in agreement, and then turned to Hackett, "if we are all done here, I would like to see the last remaining student."_

_Hackett nodded and dismissed the rest of the committee with a wave of his hand. "Right this way Lady Benezia," he then turned to Josh, "Private Dri, I think it would be suitable if you came with us, considering the... circumstances."_

_Josh didn't quite appreciate the way that Admiral emphasized on the word 'circumstances,' but in reality he had little say on the topic, he would have to come whether he wanted to or not. The Admiral was nice enough not to phrase the initial request in the form of an order. _

_All three made their way through the straight hallways of the Academy. The same familiar coldness of the environments made Josh feel a little bit uneasy. In light of the current events, it felt even less welcoming. The coldness of the new age of humanity simply served to sever them from anything warm, or so he thought. All that was missing is a grizzly Sergeant kicking a kitten in front of a group of five year olds. _

_The straight hallways eventually led them to a single room. There was one window inside, fully bullet proof, able to stop most explosions as well. Josh never understood why they put that kind of glass in there since Zeke didn't have a weapon anyways. Everyone knew of his almost inhuman strength, but there was a limit to that as well. _

_Two soldiers stood at the door, one on each side. They may as well have been made out of metal, not a single smudge of personality left on their faces. It always amused Josh to do share drinks with soldiers he saw on duty. The personality switch was always so drastic. _

_The door slid open and Hackett entered, followed swiftly by Matriarch Benezia, Josh, and one of the soldiers. Zeke was sitting at the table, muttering something to himself, oblivious to the crowd storming into his room. Only after a few seconds did he look up and went completely silent. _

"_Private Ezekiel Camwee," Hackett started, his tone a little bit too official._

"_They took them," Zeke muttered, "they took them all. Then she killed, she killed them and made me watch. Made me watch!"_

_Hackett backed up one stepped and the guard placed his hand on his pistol. Matriarch Benezia showed no hint of emotion, her body still as she met Zeke's gaze. The big man observed her for a second and turned to Josh._

"_You saw it," he went on, "you were there, you saw it. She squeezed his eyes out, she did, with her hands, just like that. CLAP!" Zeke moved forward just a bit. "Then she killed him, she killed him Josh, SHE FUCKING KILLED HIM!"_

"_Who?" Hackett stepped further back._

"_My father," Zeke was giggling through tears, "she found him and strangled him. She fucking did him in. And showed me how she did it. She burned me too. Look at me... LOOK AT ME!!!!"_

"_Zeke," Josh tried to sound as soft as possible, "your father is fine, he is alive, he is here at the station. And you're fine?"_

"_Am I?! AM I?!!"_

"_Private," Hackett finally gathered some strength in him and spoke up, "Matriarch Benezia is here to help you, best she can. We only need your support first, we need you to relax and let her in."_

_Zeke looked at Benezia again, she was yet to show any emotion, just staring at Zeke like a ghost. He studied her for a second and then turned to Josh. "Her? You want me to let her in? She is one of them, she is fucking one of them!!!" _

"_Private..."_

_Zeke moved faster than Josh expected him too, he always did though. Although he was already quite used to Ezekiel's speed, he didn't expect him to maintain that in his state. In a blink of an eye Hackett found himself with his back to the wall and the guard was on the ground, his gun in Zeke's hand, pointed straight at the Matriarch. The other soldier rushed in, his assault rifle drawn, but waved down by Admiral Hacket._

"_Stand down," he said to both Zeke and the second guard. The guard listened, Zeke did not._

"_She killed them," Zeke went on again, like a broke record, "she killed them. You were there Josh, you saw it. These bitches, they can't be trusted. What she did to them was in human, she murdered them, then she went for me, did these horrendous things to me, burned half my face off."_

"_Zeke," Josh tried to talk the big man down._

"_Fuck you!!!" Zeke screamed, "you're one of them now. Look at me, what am I? I can barely recognize myself in the mirror."_

"_Ezekiel," Lady Benezia finally spoke, taking a step towards Zeke, "I can help you. Some things what you think happened never did. Your mind is clouded, I can help. I just need to you to let me in, accept me as part of you, embrace eternity."_

"_Don't you fucking move," Zeke stepped back and held his aim, then looked at Josh, "don't you see? They are turning you, you are one of them, forgetting Mark and everyone other one, their bodies still warm. You're lucky you got out without a scratch though."_

"_Zeke..."_

"_Fuck it," Zeke's anger was receding now, "fuck it. Who cares. _Life is nothing but a dream now_."_

_His hand went up quicker than Josh ever seen him move, the cold steel touching against Zeke's temple. Josh moved with his hands stretched out trying to grab him, but he was too far, and not nearly fast enough. _

_BANG._

_Josh made it just in time to catch Zeke's limp body falling into his arms. His face, or at least what was left of it seemed almost serene now, peaceful. Ezekiel's brains were all over the bulletproof glass, which held the impact of the bullet. Warm blood covered Josh's hands as he held his friends lifeless body, the warmth leaving it with every second. _

_He looked up at Benezia, her face had not changed yet. All she did was turn to Hackett, nod, and walk out. Hackett looked around for a second and followed her, stopping in the doorway to give orders, "clean this up," he said sternly, "prepare another casket."_

_One of the guards moved straight out of the room, the other one puked on the floor, right where he was sitting from the time Zeke knocked him down. Josh didn't seem to notice, all he was focused on was Benezia's face, not emotion, no compassion. _

You are a fucking biotic_, Josh thought to himself, _why didn't you stop him, why didn't you?

_Only when the 'cleaning crew' pried Zeke's cold body from his grasp did he remember that Benezia was a biotic too, genetically. She would have had a much easier time simply putting Zeke in stasis at any point of his tantrum but she didn't. He knew she needed his agreement to be 'one with him' but not to use her biotics. She could have saved him. _She could have saved him...

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Two hours after his shift was over Josh found that he was still clutching at his Alliance issued dog tags, his fingers feeling the embossed lettering. One was simple enough, his name and all of the normal stuff, the other one was special. Zeke's father gave his son this one, requested it from the Alliance, below all of the traditional stuff there were Japanese symbols, "duty, honour, courage," they read.

Josh thought it stupid to keep anything that reminded him of that training mission, but as he once said to Hackett, _there needs to be one person to keep the memory_. He found it gave him strength from time to time, but perhaps that was just superstition, the same reason he kept Mark's wristband.

A soft touch on his shoulder brought Josh out of his thinking, he turned to face Tanya, her soft features gleaming even in the dull lights. She actually looked pretty fantastic, and was exactly what he needed to see. For some reason though she was slightly over dressed in Josh's opinion. A nice pair of pants with a very stylish blouse over top.

"So I've heard that the Alliance decided to move you guys out of the common barracks and into Elysium," she smiled, "you have to promise me to show how good those places are."

"If you insist," Josh smiled, "you off your shift already?"

"You promised to go for a drink," she said, her lips in a fake pout.

"Yeah," he said, "what I actually said was I 'might take you for a drink, _if I feel like it'_ as it happens though, I do feel like it."

He quickly got changed and the two of them were on their way through Elysium. The first couple of minutes went by silently, allowing Josh to consider the new announcement Tanya reminded him off. They would leave the temporary group quarters and would move into accommodations sponsored by the Alliance.

Unless it was a military base or any ship, Alliance preferred to accommodate their soldiers among the public, which usually led to a few buildings always being bought. In this case, Sheppard's squad received a large number of moderately sized apartments not too far from where they were stationed on Elysium. More way to make it feel like a security job than an Alliance assignment, but it would be nice not having to share the utilities with more than a dozen sweaty soldiers.

Josh got the message on the extranet just a few hours earlier, his accommodations would be shared with his squad, with two separate levels, accounting for both Kamilah and Ami. While he did appreciate the opportunity to grow closer to his squad, this was not what he had in mind exactly.

"It's fairy nice here I guess," Tanya said, wrapping her arms around his.

"I guess," Josh smiled, "but I have seen better."

For a second he thought whether or not he should shake her off, at least pretend to follow protocol for a while. However the knowledge of a number of spontaneous interactions that he was aware off in the Alliance made him rethink that notion. Besides she was a medic, that couldn't have been that bad.

Elysium, although a human colony, was full of many different species. It became more or less an unofficially trading space for the Citadel space, although many still visited citadel, the immediate closeness to the political organizations, and of course C-Sec pushed some of the dealings to other planets. Elysium readily took on the role of the most dominant space, quickly becoming the most interspecially accommodating human colonies.

Tanya dragged him by the arm into the first cafe/bar she found, a human establishment modelled after one of the French cafes, to Josh's relief all of the cooks were humans. He was in no mood to try an alien take on Earth's cuisine. They quickly settled at the table by the windows, Josh flagging down a cute waitress.

"How may I help you," she smiled at him, almost ignoring Tanya.

"I'd like a beer," Tanya started, trying to recover the attention lost, "Heineken if you have it."

"Make it two," Josh smiled.

"Of course," the waitress smiled again, parading her perfectly shaped white teeth. "Anything else?"

"Just give us a sec," Tanya spoke almost dismissively.

The waitress got smiled and headed towards the bar, no doubt to chat to her friends standing there, and perhaps get them the beers. Tanya opened the menu and started reading, Josh followed suit.

"So," he said, "miss your sister much?"

"You remembered," she sounded almost impressed, "and yeah, sometimes. But I can go visit her whenever I get a few weeks off. You're welcome to come. I heard Eden Prime is beautiful no matter the time."

"I thought that was highly against the protocol," he smiled, drawing on one of the line she used on him earlier.

"What? Keeping friends company during long flights?"

"Touche," Josh chuckled just as the waitress put two bottles in front of them.

"Did you decide what you would like," she couldn't help but smile."

"I'll have a juicy burger," Tanya licked her lips in anticipation, "and some thick fries."

"I'll go with a Greek Salad, extra olives."

Without further words the waitress gathered the menus and trotted off somewhere. With the orders in entered in her data-pad it was a matter of waiting for the food. Hopefully, it was cooked old style, on the grill, for juicer meat.

Tanya took a deep gulp of her beer, "I don't think this is quite up to protocol as well."

"Best hope no one sees us then," Josh laughed, drinking some beer himself.

"I'll be right back," Tanya got up and headed for the washrooms.

Josh leaned back and appreciated her figure as she walked. Hundreds of years and the dating etiquette has not changed one bit. He caught himself thinking of this as a date, and thought that to be a mistake, for just about a second. He was going to make this fun at least.


	7. Chapter 6: Seeing Behind the Curve

Disclaimer: Obviously all of the game characters, places etc. are creative property of BioWare.

I would like to apologize for how shitty the last chapter turned out, personally I thought it was one of my worst so I gathered my thoughts and decided that it was worth picking up my slack the same night...

Also, if you feel that this chapter feels a bit disconnected, no worries I feel that too, somewhat a little expected. Wanted to wrap up the loose ends on the background chapters with one last bow on the top before jumping into the action.

Oh and I also started naming my chapters

**Chapter 6**

**Seeing Behind the Curve**

**-**_The future is much like the present, only longer. _

_Dan Quisenberry_

_- Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment._

_Buddha_

Josh opened his eyes and looked across the room. The dream like haze left his eyes slightly and the outlines of two more bodies came into the view. The apartment that the Alliance provided was hardly that, it was more of a mini-barrack if anything. Two levels, two washrooms, two shower sets, one kitchen, two shared rooms. While it did keep a similar military environment, not allowing anyone to lose their edge, it also could be very disadvantageous. Like the nights Amari Kamara chose to snore.

On some nights Josh welcomed the loud, coarse sounds that came from Amari's throat. They tore him away from the nightmares that haunted most of his dreams. Sometimes he forgot that some of the people in his dreams were dead, mostly because he saw them before him more than many people that are still alive. On other nights, like this one happened to be, he dreamed of Tanya or his sister and her little daughter, his parents, and on these nights only common sense stopped Josh from suffocating the talkative private with a pillow.

His gaze travelled to Arthur, he was turning in his bed as well. There was no indication whether he was asleep, but Josh decided that silence was the best thing. Quietly, he slipped out of his bed and left the room.

Once in the kitchen he filled a glass full of water and looked around. His eyes a little more used to the darkness now to see the definite shapes of the table and five chairs. Part of his head wanted to go back to bed, but Kamara's snore, still slightly audible through the door put an end to that. Slowly, but a little less quietly Josh made his way to the balcony.

The door slid open, and the fresh air hit his face. His nostrils flared as the air entered his lungs, leaving Josh still for a few moments.

"Can't sleep either Corporal," Kamilah said, startling Josh just a bit.

She was sitting in one of the chairs, a glass of water in her hand, enjoying a quick smoke. She was wearing a shirt a size to big for her and a pair of tight, short shorts that barely got below her buttocks, the shirt went further down though. She wasn't wearing any make up, but Josh thought it didn't help in making her look gorgeous. There was no doubt she was attractive, but in the past two weeks he has built a strictly professional relationship with his squad. Ruining that would definitely play on Sheppard's nerves, especially since she was very particular about him and Tanya, letting a few things slide that perhaps she should not have.

"Pull up a chair," Kamilah smiled, patting the seat beside her, Josh obliged.

"I think one of these days I will beat Amari stupid with his own pillow," he said, reaching out for a pack of cigarettes at Kamilah's side.

"You smoke?"

"Haven't for about three years," he said, pulling one out and lighting it, "but seems as good an occasion as any."

The smoke entered his lungs, filling them full and then Josh released. A mixed feeling of ecstasy and guilt washed over him at the same time. It didn't feel proper to smoke, and he did promise his mom he would quit on her deathbed. Josh tried to justify this little misstep as not his fault, even trying to blame Amari's loud snores.

"I guess we can agree that this is between us the," Kamilah smiled.

"We can agree," Josh laughed, "so why are you here at this hour?"

"Well, Ami does not snore if that is what you're wondering," Alee laughed, "but I just can't sleep sometimes, so I come here."

"And smoke?"

"Yeah," she made a gesture towards Josh's own hand, "while you're holding one of the death sticks you formally resign the right to chastise me."

"I would never try Alee."

"You can actually call me Kamilah, Corporal," she said, "I mean we do all live together."

"Only if you call me Josh," he said, taking another puff, "Corporal makes me sound about five years older, and slightly more accomplished."

"What," she laughed, "with your record of bar fights worthy of a promotion? You undersell yourself."

"So you wanted patrol duty for tomorrow did you?"

They both laughed and silence came over them for a while. Josh looked at the sky, something about it was very serene, very calming. A small star flickered in the distance. What always amazed Josh is how different the sky looked on different planets, surely it was something to be expected, but having spent most of his childhood nights staring at the sky with Sarah he still couldn't force himself to get over it.

"How long you figure we will be stuck here," Kamilah paused, taking another puff, "Josh?"

"Not too long I hope, this is a bullshit assignment anyways."

"Off the record?"

"Like I would really care," Josh said, "everyone knows it. Look, we are Alliance soldiers, only those useless or new enough get stationed on colonies. Many have their own security organizations established, much like C-Sec, so military presence is for the most part arbitrary. System Alliance often makes an exception though," he paused, gazing at a flying star, "trying to prove to everyone that we have the power. This will end soon though, most of us will get re-assigned based on Sheppard's recommendations, and input from her trusted 'fire-team' leaders."

"You sound fairly confident," a tone of sadness was in Kamilah's voice, "I wish I was so sure."

"Trust me," Josh smiled, as reassuringly as he could without being creepy, his hand almost involuntarily went to her shoulder, "they won't keep us here for long. And off the record, you guys are a good squad, everyone more qualified to be a Corporal as much as me. All of us will soon be assigned to different ships."

Kamilah glanced into the distance and then brought her eyes around to meet his. Josh almost lost himself in that hazel gaze, it was so magnetic. She smiled and brought the cigarette to her strawberry lips, tugging in the smoke mixed with the toxins. Josh's eyes went down, he felt a little intimidated, insecure, and guilty all at the same time. Even though him and Tanya weren't officially 'dating,' at least that's what he told Sheppard, he still felt strongly about her. And she was as gorgeous as Kamilah in his eyes. A more conventional and 'old-fashioned' type of beauty.

"I just can't wait to get out there," Kamilah said, reclining again, "into the space."

"You sound like you have a chip on your soldier."

"Not in those words," she sighed, "but something along those lines for sure."

"Sharing is caring," he slipped in an old line his sister used to tell him when she wanted him to give something to her, or to share one of his secrets.

Kamilah laughed, throwing out the wasted cigarette and taking a sip of her own water, "I guess there is very little harm in that. I've always felt like I had something to prove. My mom was a Lieutenant for the Alliance, served under Admiral Jon Grissom. Always had high expectations of me, always pushed me."

"I guess it could be hard on you when your parents go for you, but to her very big disappointment I was also, as she said, 'cursed with looks to drive any man crazy."

"I'd think that would be more of a blessing," Josh tried a joke of simple reassurance, but never noticed whether or not it helped.

"I guess," Kamilah went on, "but not when every other recruit is trying to tap you on the ass for a 'job well done.' I got my dedication from my mother, but at times it was almost..." she paused to help gather herself, "degrading. I always had to deal with 'those' looks, everyone thinking that my grades were because male teachers had lingering eyes."

"I guess that's why I can't wait to get away, I want to prove that I can be something beyond of what the world paints me to be," she sighed, lighting another cigarette as Josh put out his own, "prove something. Sort of like Sheppard is doing. She is no less beautiful than me, but they treat her as a person of authority not just breasts with legs."

Josh squeezed out a chuckle, mainly because in his mind's eye he painted a quick picture of the female chest complemented only with a pair of slender legs. It looked more like an alien with very sexy eyes than what he actually meant to imagine.

Kamilah smiled and reclined, staring into the distance again. Josh sat there for a second not knowing what to say. She was a smart woman, and he suspected very professional, and he wanted to reassure her in any way possible, the only problem was that with her history she could misread forms of reassurance as something else, something he had reserved for only person. After all, he had to draw a limit at the number of people he was going to break the Alliance protocol with.

"You will," Josh patted Kamilah on the soldier, "you will Kamilah. It will phase out gradually. You're smart and you're good at what you do. Eventually the rest will see that, as they grow out of their childish stupors."

"Thank you," she smiled, turning around and pushing her lips onto his.

That was something unexpected. For someone who wanted to be treated professionally, she sure gave in really quickly, not that Josh was happy with the situation all together. The taste of her mouth got mixed with the smoke that was in it when she kissed him. For a second he even found himself enjoying the mixture, but then he gently pushed her away by the shoulders.

Kamilah's eyes shot down to the ground almost immediately. "I'm so sorry Josh... I mean Corporal... I mean..."

"Don't worry about it," he said, still slightly flabbergasted, "it happens, its late."

"It's just that no one ever complemented me on anything beyond my looks," she tried to smile, "please don't let this get beyond our friendship, or at least our work relationship."

"Not everybody is as farsighted as me," Josh smiled, trying to warm Kamilah up, "and don't worry about it, we're still cool. I want to go to sleep though now, hopefully Amari had the decency to shut the fuck up."

"Even in his sleep, huh?" Kamilah laughed.

"Even in his sleep," Josh smiled and headed back towards his room.

His brain was scrambling to connect all of the dots from tonight's encounter. He couldn't exactly say what happened out there, but tried to phase it out. Kamilah was attractive, beyond doubt, but that's not what he wanted. Why pursuing a relationship with a unit medic was already pretty bad, although beneficial if he happened to get shot, something within the squad, of which he was supposed to be the leader had a different suite to it all together.

Thankfully, Amari has stopped his snoring and Josh found himself drifting off to sleep, back to his dreams.

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"_It's okay," his father whispered, Josh nothing more than a boy, "we all fail sometimes, we all fall."_

"_Even you?"_

"_Even me, son," he brushed the top of Josh's head and smiled. _

"_But how do you correct what happened? How do you make things right?"_

"_You don't," his father smiled, "you just live. There is no point of dwelling on the past or thinking of the future, stay in the 'now', there is a reason it is called _the present."

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_His sister's face was full of tears, she was crying all night again Josh knew. He walked up to her and wrapped his hands gently around Sarah's shoulders. Her sobbing slowed down a bit, but her body still pulsated under his touch. Her hair leaned into his chair and the floodgates opened again, there was nothing he could do but hold her._

"_What will we do Josh," she sobbed, "what will I do? You're gone now, you're far away. All I have is Jessie and you now, and you're gone. She needs me to stay strong, and I need you."_

"_Sarah," Josh did his best not to cry, not now, not like this, "you know I wish I could stay, but I have to see something through to the end. For dad."_

"_But he didn't want you to leave in the first place," the sobs almost suffocated the words that left Sarah's mouth._

"_That makes it even more important," he said softly, "I have to prove to hi... No, I have to prove to me that I can finish something. That I can _just live_ like he did."_

_She looked at him for a long while, only like she could, only like an older sister could look at a brother. Tears still glimmered in her eyes, but Josh knew that she understood, she knew now, she had to let him go, and she would support him. _

_Sarah kissed him on the check and got up to walk away, but not before her hand brushing the top of his head, making both of them smile. He watched her walk away, and waited for the door to close behind her. Then he cried._

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_Aleena walked towards him with her sure walk. Zeke's body was still twitching behind her, his mouth moving but nothing coming out of it. Josh tried to scramble back, tried to find his weapon. Nothing was there but dirt, she was on him in a moment._

_Her blue hand closed around his throat, but all he could fell was her eyes, her blue eyes. For the first time in a million dreams did he recognize that there was no anger, no fury, no satisfaction in those eyes. He felt the sorrow and pain that were staring at him, he felt the necessity of what to come, he felt the soundless plea for forgiveness._

"_I am sorry," she said as she forced himself on his mind._

_It was said that there needed to be a mutual agreement for such a joining, but perhaps, just once in a few years this could be done. Aleena forced herself into her mind, she forced herself into his thoughts and held herself there, perverting them. He saw glimpses of happiness beyond layers of despair, horror, and pain. He knew it wasn't real it, but it hurt all the same. He needed to break off, he was the last one standing, he couldn't let her leave, not yet._

_Josh screamed and Aleena let him go, staggering backwards. She looked at him confused for a second before hearing a rumbling of a not too distant shuttle, _reinforcements_. She scowled and the headed for her own shuttle, but not before stopping in front of some device and keying in a few things on her omni-tool followed by a beep. _

_As she departed, Josh looked at his own thigh. It was a bloody mess with his Alliance issue knife sticking out of it. The blood was mixed with the rain that suddenly started to come down. The maroon-brownish mud was what he focused his attention on for a bit, before the pain forced him into a haze._

_------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_Zeke's father's face was almost as serene as the sky. He stared through the rain as the casket got lowered into the ground. For the sake of Zeke's little sister it was a closed casket ceremony. The pouring rain softened up the dirt and Josh's feet sank into the ground almost until the ankles. The row of tombstones lined in the line, a few familiar names. Mark, Lawrence, and now Ezekiel. _

_There was no priest, no ceremony; nothing like it was for the other two. Zeke's father requested for that, he just wanted his son to go in peace. His little sister didn't cry, nor did she show any emotion. Josh doubted she understood what happened to her brother, or perhaps she knew he was somewhere better now, somewhere where he could be at peace. _

_Zeke's father made his way towards Josh and shook his hand, his eyes were tearing, although it could have been the rain, "Thank you," he said, "thank you for showing up, for seeing my son to his peace."_

"_You're welcome," Josh said, "I wish there were more people here," he said, simultaneously pointing to the row of other graves, "although I guess they were here in spirit. Look, I know this is probably not my place or anything, but if you need some help, I have a sister back on Earth, it could be very hard, especially now."_

"_Let the past be past," the elderly man said, "we cannot change what has happened and none of it will change that my son is dead. We can only control the present, and hope it affects the future. If something is to come, it will, and we are powerless to stop it, we can only react to it."_

_Josh haven't said a word. Zeke's father always spoke in such riddles, Zeke always said that they were full of wisdom and the guys used to joke that he just got them of the fortunate cookies. Josh shook the man's hand and watched it walk away, but not before receiving Zeke's dog tag. He stayed just for a second, looking at the three graves, in perfect line. He wished Lucky Jack was beside him, but understandably, Jack asked Benezia to help him forget the Academy, all of it. He couldn't blame him. _

"_I'm coming boys," Josh whispered into the rain, "maybe sooner than I think, but with the future, no one can ever know. Wait for me..."_

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_He knew it was a dream but it felt just like it did last night, so real. It almost made the previous line up worth it. Like a line up of warm ups, leading up to an amazing show. Tanya was resting on his chest, her breasts pressed against his abdominal. She was smiling, yet a shadow of a tear formed in her eyes._

"_What's wrong," Josh said, reaching slightly down to kiss her on the forehead._

"_Nothing," Tanya tried to smile, coming off a little weak, "it's just, my sister is always right. I always try to be so strong, but I always end up making the same mistakes, expecting different results, I keep moving too fast."_

"_What are you talking about?"_

"_This," she said, still trying to smile, "all of this. It's only been two weeks, and look at us. I feel like you're about to get up and leave."_

"_Then you're crazy."_

"_You won't leave me?" Tanya sounded almost hopeful, "at least for now? You promise you will hold on? No matter what?"_

I can't promise you that,_ he thought to himself, _we can only control the present, and hope it affects the future. If something is to come, it will, and we are powerless to stop it, we can only react to it.

"_I promise," he whispered to her instead, "I promise. I won't leave. I'll hold on. No matter what."_

_She smiled and wiped her tears on her chest, tickling him with her nose. When Tanya's face came up she was no longer pouting, but smiling. Quickly she crawled up his chest to his face and planted her lips onto hers. It felt so sweet, it felt so right, and most of all, she felt so safe in his arms._

_------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Thadan stood on the bridge of his ship, staring at the space map in front of him. He looked almost satisfied, both sets of eyes focused on his destination. It took a couple of years to do this, but this was finally achieved. As one who never questioned Chadar's leadership, Thadan got the pass to be at the forefront of this attack, at the forefront of this triumph, at the forefront of Batarian fury.

Thadan was a pirate for quite some time, but when he came to Chadar's side he was almost helpless, too small to be of importance. He was brought up fast because of his knack to pick the right operations and keep his crew both happy and faithful, although he believed both came hand in hand as they were.

For many years have Batarian's dominate the verge, until this vermin called 'humans' showed up, expanded their reach beyond what was reasonably theirs, took Batarian lands, took their profits, aimed to destroy their nations. Once in the verge, they never stopped either. The pirate suppression campaign by the Alliance affected everyone around them as well. They chased pirates out and killed those who would fight back.

On one of his raids Thadan had the misfortune to be attacked by a few ships. With severe losses he happened to get away, still terribly injured he found refuge where he could, until Chadar took him in, raised him up, and provided him with the means to fight this 'righteous fight' against the humans. He gave him ships and men, and let him loose on the Verge.

Thadan was highly successful in those raids, some even started to call him the _Wrath of Camala_. Yet there was never satisfaction, no matter how many humans died, they kept coming back for more, kept fighting back, and Batarian's scattered, no one but Chadar and Thadan recognized it.

A few years ago, they tried to fight the fight on their own. Chadar had acquired a nuclear device by ambushing an Alliance vessel. Thadan gave part of his crew to the cause and an Asari mercenary was paid heavily to join the cause, although she was never too loyal. The plan was spotless, detonating a device on Elysium, next to an Alliance chemical research lab, a warning shot. Something went wrong however, the nuke never detonated and the Asari mercenary was never seen again.

From that moment on Chadar made other moves. He bribed some warlords, reasoned with some pirates, or simply applied force by using Thadan's multiple crews. It took a few years, but the fleet was built. It was not as well organized as the Alliance, and Thadan suspected that many would flee if things went not according to plan, the more reason to keep everything in order. Besides, the sheer amount of force was enough to overwhelm Elysium. This time there would be no mistakes, this time the humans would get the message.

"We on approach to the relay, sir" a younger member of his crew spoke, still not to confident.

"Very well," Thadan folded his arms behind his back, "relay this message through the fleet, we are heading through the relay and for Elysium. Also," he licked the sides of his mouth, "mention that I will personally hunt down anyone who dares turn back. For the cause."

"For the cause," the young Batarian scrambled away.

Thadan looked as he left and lowered his head. The kid said the words, but he didn't understand what was behind them. Soon he would though, he would see what they meant, he would see the righteousness of the cause. This was the only to protect Batarian's from extinction, the only way to get everyone to see, because Batarians leaving the Citadel wasn't enough, now the council would see. The only way, Chadar's way.

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Josh was sitting across from Sheppard as she read his reports. Her eyes moved slowly and her lips seemed to mirror what she was looking at. Josh often found himself wondering whether it was just him or if Stephanie Sheppard was really one of the most dedicated individuals he ever met. She set down the reports and leaned forward towards him.

"Is this all?" She asked, almost disappointed.

"Well," Josh smiled, "I didn't see the sky come crashing down or face any Batarian raiders. When we do I'll let you know. Actually, if you want you'll be the first person I go to."

"Yeah," Stephanie tried to laugh, "very funny."

"Common, Second Lieutenant Sheppard," Josh nudged slightly on the shoulder, "lighten up. We're on Elysium, might as well relax while we can. In a few month we'll be rocketing through space while new dumbass graduates will take our place," he stopped when he noticed Sheppard giving him an accusing look. "That is not to imply that we are similar to those dumbass graduates."

"How do you do this Dri," she asked, almost musingly.

"Well, it's quite easy, you just let the edges of those lips rise fully up, like this," he pointed to a full blown grin on his face.

"I mean," she started cautiously, "I've seen your profile, Elysium, your friends, one of them blew his mind away right in front of you, how do you get over it?"

Josh leaned back and stared at Sheppard for a second, truly lost for words. He didn't expect her to be so frank, but he also thought she could see through him better than that. He was not beyond it, he was never beyond it, but it didn't do anyone any good to pout about it.

"I don't mean to bring back bad memories," Stephanie seemed to switch to damage control, "but I was brought up on Shanxi, my parents were killed, I had no choice but to join the Alliance," she was staring out the window now, holding her face stern. In a way Josh thought Stephanie Sheppard was not so different from Kamilah, a woman with a purpose, a woman on a mission.

"That day haunts me until this day," she said, "I feel like I should have die with them, instead of hiding, instead of running."

"A wise man once told me something very smart," Josh leaned forward, "_we cannot change what has happened. We can only control the present, and hope it affects the future. If something is to come, it will, and we are powerless to stop it, we can only react to it."_

"Look," he took her hand, as softly as he could, "as cruel as it may sound now, you cannot change that your parents are dead, but you can change what you do now, what you do about it. Don't let them leave you, but think about now, think about now _for them_. Make the name Sheppard mean something, don't let it die on Shanxi."

"Thank you," Sheppard turned, her face still a little moist from the few tears that rolled down them just a second ago.

The door slid open quickly and Josh barely cleared his hand from Stephanie's. A female soldier stood in the doorway, bent over, gasping for any air that was willing to enter her lungs. "Commander," she spoke, fighting back the fatigue, "I think you should see the radar."

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All right, so the main chunks of the background are safely wrapped up and I feel like it's time to get into the main course, so get ready. Some action coming up. Time to go re-read the codex.


	8. Chapter 7: The Calm

Disclaimer: Obviously all of the game characters, places etc. are creative property of BioWare.

Blackrain 7557: Yeah, I felt like I was using a cheap trick of a flashback there to get a hefty amount of character information there, but I tried to keep it a bit light in style so it never felt like a drag, hopefully I achieved that.

**Chapter 7**

**The Calm**

_Fear... is forward. No one is afraid of yesterday._

_Renata Adler_

_We shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender._

_Winston Churchill_

Josh found himself staring at the radar mesmerized, just like everyone else. The amount of the force that was heading for Elysium through the Terminus System was absolutely staggering. It wasn't a simple raid and none of the signatures were registered Citadel Space vessels. That meant only one thing – raiders and pirates. Josh has seen them operate before, but never in those numbers. Such groups rarely teamed up, if that was the appropriate expression. The world of illegal space raiding was mostly solitary and independent, because larger numbers meant smaller shares.

"Who is the highest in command," Sheppard asked, finally finding her voice after staring at the radar for a while.

The room got silent as a few of the operators looked at her. Josh turned his head slowly as well. _Of course_, such colonies were never dependent on huge military presence. They were usually either used for training or seasoning. The only commanding officers that were here were the ones straight out of the Academy. The rest was either local security personnel or volunteer staff. Second Lieutenant Stephanie Sheppard was all they had.

"Ma'am," one of the women operators spoke up, "that would be you... Ma'am."

Stephanie stood still for a while, putting a few things together so it seemed before reaching for communicator. "Give one of the ships overhead, we have to have some ships up there don't we?"

"Just a second," the operator said, keying in a few numbers.

"This is Captain Lee, of SSV Plataea," a course voice came through on the other side.

"Second Lieutenant Sheppard," Steph's voice trembled just a bit, as if she was unsure of what she was doing. "Commanding officer at Elysium. Are you picking up the readings that we are on the radar?"

"I was just about to ask you that Second Lieutenant," Lee answered, giving no indication of whether or not he was worried or not.

Stephanie was slightly lost again, looking around as if someone was going to tell her exactly what to do now, who to call. Josh took a few steps closer and placed his hand on her shoulder. She seemed to take strength from that simple thing and gathered herself up again.

"Engage only on direct contact," Sheppard spoke, her voice more sure now.

"Sure," Captain Lee obviously had no intentions of listening to someone below his pay grade. Sheppard was not even part of the ship. She would definitely be assigned to the Navy once her training period was up, but as of yet she was stuck on the ground.

The connection broke away and the rest of the room got into action quickly. Everyone seemed to be keying in numbers and sending messages. Josh had to give the people credit, they were hardly panicking. Surely they knew what was coming, and from the looks of it, it wasn't going to be pretty, but these people focused on their jobs first and foremost, surely it didn't hurt that millions of lives depended on these people keeping on top of their assignments.

"Get me Admiral Hackett," Sheppard said, fiddling with the communicator yet again.

"This is Admiral Hackett," the all to familiar voice sounded on the other side.

"Sir," Sheppard was fully in control of herself now, "we are sending you the radar readings from the Terminus System, I believe that our colonies, namely Elysium are about to come under a heavy attack."

"I do not recognize the radar signatures Second Lieutenant," Hackett sounded almost lazy.

"Neither do we Admiral," Stephanie pressed on, "which is why I think that it is a joint raider effort, most likely Batarian. There is very little we can do. The planet has less than 10 ships orbiting it at any given time, most of them frigates, and the ground force is all fresh out of the Academy, we will be hard pressed without reinforcements."

"I will send out the signal," Hackett finished, "sit tight Sheppard."

The communication broke off and Sheppard was standing alone yet again, staring at the radar as if she expected the situation to change, the enemy numbers to dwindle. Quite oppositely, there were even more ships now.

"Alert all of the marines we have," Stephanie told Josh, "we will need every last one set of hands ready and alert. Now."

Josh moved quickly, he didn't even want to wait for what was to come next. Before he left out of the door though he heard Sheppard telling one of the staff to patch her through into the Elysium announcement system, a good way to contact most of the planet colonized by humans. It must have been hard to tell people that their doom was coming, it must have been hard to describe what was about to happen. When Josh left, Stephanie still stood straight, he couldn't help but wonder how long she would last.

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Thadan stared at the map in delight. He has seen nothing more magnificent in his life time. This was the Batarian wrath in full fury. His fleet was glowing bright on the radar and his own ship's detection equipment, against it the few Alliance ships seemed highly insignificant.

Everything inside him tensed up, closed up, his heartbeat sped up slightly. This was the moment that they all were waiting for, the moment of glory, the moment when all wrong would be set right. Thadan's own ships advanced even closer to Elysium and there was no doubt that they have been spotted, not that they tried to stay hidden anyways.

Thadan had his doubts about the fleet, pirates and mercenaries were never know for their loyalty and more notorious for doing anything to save their lives. If things went sour they would break and they would break fast, he knew it. However, with the size of the fleet that they have been able to amass Thadan was confident that nothing would go wrong, or wrong enough to cause a rift in the attack plan. Even so, he always had a plan B.

"Sir," one of his crew spoke, "the Alliance ships are mobilizing and advancing on our position."

"Open fire on sight," Thadan scratching around one of his four eyes.

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The few Alliance ships that were available entered the battle quickly. The orders were clear, no enemy was to be given ground, and the attack was to be direct. There was no delusions about this mission, most likely this was a sacrifice, but Cormac was more than hopeful. As a pilot for SSV Plataea he has seen worse times, and worse battles, besides, these were pirates, not trained Alliance pilots.

"Plataea," he heard through communicator, "taking the lead."

Captain Lee's voice was as coarse as ever, barking instructions was definitely his forte. It was up to Cormac to carry those out however.

SSV Plataea dipped below the main force as Cormac brought it below the first two Batarian frigates to avoid fire. Sounds of explosions indicated that some shots connected, however he didn't have time to check whether or not it was allies or enemies that were going down.

"Aim for the bigger ships," Lee barked through the intercom.

"Don't have to tell me twice," Cormac muttered to himself.

"Fire main cannon," the command came quickly.

One shot fired from the main cannons of SSV Plataea. The two shots ripped into the main dreadnought's shields, but never penetrated, it would take a little bit more than two shots to take that down. Cormac brought the ship to the side again, avoiding some of the incoming fire, noting that two more frigates dropping onto his tail.

Cormac smiled, dropping speed slightly, dodging two more shops. They definitely had him outnumbered, but in those tins that the mercs were flying he expected them to fall apart half way through the battle. Quickly, he pulled the ship up, and above, slowing the speed drastically. As anticipated, both enemy frigates were unprepared for the manoeuvre, leaving Cormac in the driving seat of the situation. Frigates didn't pack much power, he was confident the other two were as good as done.

"Blast 'em," he laughed.

Two quick explosions rocked the space in front as the SSV Plataea busted through the debris and the explosions, coming up still well below the main portion of the fleet. By using the explosion as cover the bought a few seconds of virtual invisibility from radar's and other eyes, giving the main guns another clear shot at what looked like the leading ship.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thadan felt the slight shake but did not really pay attention. The battle was on, and a few of his own ships were already nothing more than pieces of scrap metal flying through space. He wasn't going to stop the attack because of a few setbacks however.

"Shields breached," a female voice came from somewhere to his side, "we've taken some damage, it's minimal however."

"Activate secondary generators," Thadan barked at his crew, "charge the primary guns."

The crew around him scrambled at high speeds, everyone trying to get out of each other's way. Thadan couldn't help but sigh. As much as he was anticipating this mission, he needed a bigger crew and had to pick a few new members to help him commandeer this ship. Now he was thinking that he would have had better chances of survival trying to do it all on his own. His lips stayed sealed though.

"Fire," he said as soon as the digital screen read out _Charged_.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cormac was bringing Plataea around for another shot as a big burst of energy came from the main enemy turret. It sped through the air taking out an Alliance cruiser, sending debris everywhere. In his head, Cormac pictured some smug pilot screaming in glee, he focused on that image and imagined punching it.

The score was way into their favour with more than a dozen enemy ships being no more, however the size of the advancing force was too big, it didn't really matter that they were being picked apart right now, eventually they would simply overwhelm the small defensive effort. There were only 4 cruisers left along with 12 frigates, and only one ship fell so far, but it wouldn't be long before the enemy got on their feet again.

A small beeping noise indicating a hit on the shields thrust Cormac out of his thinking process. He quickly checked his radar to see a cruiser behind SSV Plataea. With a few moves, he thrust the frigate upwards into the thick of an enemy force. A cruiser may have more fire power, but Cormac could out manoeuvre one of those any day. He was one of the best. Not as good as that new kid at the Academy though, or so he heard, what was his name... Jeff something.

Cormac relied on his sense to avoid a few of the bigger ships and dodge fire from smaller ones. The enemy was really as stupid as Captain Lee assumed. They were actually trying to shoot them down in the midst of their own force, doing more damage to their own ships than they ever could to the small frigate.

_Charged. _

Two more blasts tore into a carrier right in front of Plataea's path, as Cormac thrust through the explosion yet again. He was hoping to lose the enemy cruiser but it seemed the pilot was ballsy as the radar indicated that the other ship was still on their tail. SSV Plataea took the direct course for one of the carriers in front of him, not slowly down. The pilot of the carrier seemed to be as dumb as the rest, heading straight for Cormac.

At the very last moment the small alliance frigate pulled up, but not before letting off a few concentrated bursts at the navigational illuminators for the carrier. It seemed to work as the radar showed the heat indicators for the carrier to wobble, and collide with those for the cruiser that was on Cormac's tail. A giant heat explosion seconds later confirmed his theory.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"The battle has started," the words left Stephanie's mouth, no louder than a whisper.

In the past few minutes everyone was ready and sitting tight, waiting for something to begin. It felt like a bad dream, but a dream none the less. It seemed to Josh that everyone was waiting to wake up any moment now, at least he was. His hand rested quietly on the handle of his pistol, somehow bringing him comfort. There was little hope for one pistol against a legion that was coming for them, but at least his fate was in his hands, he would decide how he would die.

To the relief of many marines, most namely Stephanie, after the announcement ran many civilians started showing up, a few security personnel also made an appearance. Those who had their own guns kept them, the rest got supplied straight out of the Alliance infirmary. Even though it felt reassuring to see these people show up and stand for Elysium, Josh knew that it would hardly make a difference.

Unlike the rest of the marines, most of the civilians hardly had any military training, and would probably be holding a gun for the first time in their lives. Still, the few security personnel that showed up seemed like they've been through a scrap or two during their lives. What made this so difficult is the vast size of the invasion, there was no ability to pick one point where the enemy would come, and it would call for spreading forces, for mini-units, for little cohesion.

"What's the plan," he said, walking slowly behind Sheppard.

"Break into units," Sheppard tried to sound confident, "there is nothing else I can say, it will be hectic."

"Medics and supplies?" Josh tried not to sound too concerned.

Sheppard eyed him for a second before pointing a building on the map, "this is the strongest building we have, only two entry points, tucked under an artificial cliff used for training. A small unit stays there."

"All trained Alliance I assume?" Josh leaned in to study the map.

"And civilians, C-Sec retirees," Sheppard added, checking her pistol quickly.

Josh studied the maps carefully, trying to figure out the best position to protect the building. It seemed that Sheppard was right. The two entrances were very narrow as well, which allowed for good aim at the incoming groups, which would have to get in line just to get through the door. Although direct infiltration was not the only way to disable the medical support and the ammo caches.

"One building," he asked, trying to scope out the surroundings a bit more.

"No other choice," Sheppard retorted, "we have to have a direct position and I cannot afford to split forces for multiple med-stations. It's as safe as it gets Josh."

"I'll take your word for it."

"You damn well better Corporal," Sheppard tried to smile, "now get set up. Take your unit and take pick your position."

"Aye aye Lieutenant," Josh brought his hand to his temple and turned to walk away. It was almost time and Sheppard had her own things to deal with.

His steps were slightly more unsure than before, at least until he made it inside the building Sheppard dedicated to be the infirmary and the med-bay for the upcoming defences. Around him, the medics were setting up, and the soldiers assigned to the duty were checking their guns, not for the first time too. Josh quickly spotted Tanya in the far corner, setting up certain equipment, double checking the standards.

As Josh approached she seemed to notice him. For a second her face lit up as she looked him in the eyes before dying down again. She quickly cleared the distance between them and pulled him in for a kiss. Josh tasted her lips and forgot everything for a second, lost in her grasp, he was back home, or somewhere else, somewhere far.

"I'm scared," Tanya whispered pulling back.

"You'll be fine," Josh tried to lie, but somehow it felt weird coming out of his throat, as if something tried to force it back down, "there is no order to the attack... You'll be fine."

Her hand stretched to grasp his, she pressed it tightly. For a second Josh really did feel back home, next to his sister, or his mother, the only other two women whose touch felt so comfortable and so right. He shook his head breaking the thoughts away, they only knew each other for very little but got serious fast, he felt special about her, and knew she felt the same. Now was not the time to concern himself with these questions.

"Don't leave," Tanya whispered, a hint of a moisture forming in her eyes, "stay. Bring your squad, say that you will defend us."

"I can't," he couldn't lie to her this time, "I need to be out there. I have a responsibility here, plus I am a biotic, I need to be in the front, throwing off the assault tries."

"Promise you'll be back," she wrapped her hands around him again, pressing him close, their bodies fitting perfectly together.

Josh pressed her head to his chest, breathing in the smell of her hair. It felt rugged and unwashed in his hand, but somehow he couldn't take his head away. He held her close, almost cradling Tanya like a babe. "I promise. I'll be back."

He took his dog tags off his neck and placed them into Tanya's hand, closing it into a fist. There was one of his and one of Zeke's tags on that chance and they gave him strength when he needed it. She needed it more than him now though. She looked up at him, her eyes fighting back the tears, whispering a silent 'thank you.'

She smiled and let him go, pushing him away weakly, against her own will. Josh flashed another smile and turned around; he tried not to react until he left. It felt bad to lie to Tanya, but he knew the chances were slim, their forces were to scattered and the enemy were too many, there would be no proper organization, there would be only chaos and with chaos, hand in hand came its wife and partner – death.

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Thadan felt angry watching the fight unfold before him, yet he was not worried. His fleet was losing amount of ships, but none of the carriers were damaged yet, and that meant that the ground assault was still in order. Even with the Alliance ships attacking straight and destroying more than their share, they would soon be overwhelmed he knew, it was just a matter of time. A few fell already, leaving less than ten, not such a big number in the grand scheme of things.

Thadan's four eyes narrowed as he saw another frigate circling for a shot at the carrier. It seemed that the Alliance pilots were not stupid after all. He was hoping that the size of the fleet would conceal the carriers long enough to get the close to Elysium that sending them in would be no problems, but the Alliance ships were proving to be pests.

His finger went slowly to the communicator. Thadan paused for a few seconds, pondering whether or not he should give the command, but at the end he pressed it. After a little chatter he figured it was time to say.

"Form the frigates around the carriers," he barked into the communicator, "push through to the planet surface."

Within a few seconds the connection died as Thadan's finger lifted off the button. He looked on the digital projection of the battle, and nothing happened for a second. Then, a few larger heat signatures started to move, with smaller ones forming around them and moving through. A small smile crept to his face, it was all going according to plan after all. Thadan turned to his own crew.

"Concentrate fire on Alliance ships, start with cruisers, let smaller ships take care of frigates."

Within seconds the whole bridge was moving, commands shouting over the noise from the outside. Thadan allowed himself to be satisfied. In a Batarian society individuals rarely exceeded their birth status, ruled by the caste system, honouring it. Thadan started a simple slave, but through his days of pirating and being a gun for hire he earned a reputation, his own ship and even the place at the front of Chadar's assault, a place in the plans for revival of the Batarian species.

He knew that many people hated him, many people in the fleet even had trouble following him. He knew that they had little respect for him, but this would all change, he would carry out his missions and bring respect back to the Batarian community, destroy the human vermin in the Terminus System. He would be a hero, his caste would be no more, he would be right up there with Chadar in terms of respect.

"Fire," he said, not even trying to hide his amusement at his own thoughts when the charge indicator came on.

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Cormac manoeuvred right around just to see the last carrier get blasted away by a dreadnought cannon. For a second he got distracted just enough to pick up a few quick shots to the hull. SSV Plataea shook nudging him back to reality. He quickly pulled the frigate to the left to avoid more shots. He quickly levelled the ship with the attacker as they cannons fired, blasting another enemy in the space.

"They are moving forth the carriers," Captain Lee said, his voice calmer than before now, "focus your fire on them."

"Sir," came a female voice in response, "do we have enough power to breach their shields?"

"Aim for the older models," Cormac smiled to himself scoping out the carriers, "their shields are weak, we can blast through them with ease."

SSV Plataea pulled sideways, heading out towards the carriers that separated from the fleet and was moving towards Elysium. Cormac pushed the frigate to the limit, pushing the frigate close towards the carriers. A few ships pulled out noticing that the remaining Alliance forces were switching their priorities and came at them.

"Hold fire," Cormac said, dipping the ship quickly down.

The enemies dipped after him, but Cormac came up to fast, sending them spiralling down into recovering, buying SSV Plataea a few seconds. He quickly levelled the ship and made sure that there were no other threats for a second.

"Fire," came a command from Captain Lee.

The main guns charged and shot around the mass effect accelerators. As the shots left, Cormac started to feel hotter. Heat always limited the amount of space combat. However, if Plataea was getting heated, most of Batarian ships would be as well. They haven't even began bombardment of the planet, and there were a few turrets set up too to stop the carriers.

"Sir," Cormac said, "we are generating an intense amount of heat, we will need to disengage and enter FTL."

"Noit yet," Lee said, "we need to force the carriers closer to the turrets."

"Sir," another voice came over the network, "they have released fighters."

"Prepare GARDIAN lasers," came a command in response."

"Sir," came another response, but it was interrupted by a quick tumble of SSV Plataea.

Cormac shook his head, regaining control of the vessel quickly and checking all of the readings, the kinetic barrier was disappearing quickly. That could only mean one thing. Cormac opened his mouth to say something but Captain Lee beat him to it.

"Disruptor torpedoes."

"Shit," Cormac muttered under his breath.

"Dodge fire," Lee never heard Cormac's cussing, "focus GARDIAN lasers on the carriers."

"Sir," Cormac hated to point out the obvious, "heat levels."

"We'll worry about it later."

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Josh cocked his gun one last time, coming into view of his crew. They were sitting quietly, no one speaking a word, but each one rested a hand on their weapons, faces concentrated on the floor before them. He picked a seat next to Kamilah.

"Be careful what you wish for, eh?" he tried to smile, "Kamilah."

"Sir?" she sounded confused.

"You wanted a chance to prove yourself," he said, "you got it."

"Not exactly what I had in mind sir," Kamilah forced a smile onto her face.

"Sir?" Amari sounded more scared than anyone else. He hid it well, but his lip gave a hint of a quiver. "You think we got a chance?"

Josh looked over his crew, and he couldn't bring himself to lie to them. He knew what was going to happen, and assumed that they had only one fate. Even so, there was a small glimmer of hope in him that the attackers were not trained, and not organized as well as the Alliance, he wasn't even sure they had a plan. But he hated the speeches he always saw in movies, just like happy endings, because inside him, a notion lingered that it's not how life works.

"It's hard to tell," he spoke quietly, not letting anyone else hear, " I don't know how many people are we facing, but it's a safe bet we're facing at least 7 to 1 in terms of numbers. They will break fast though, so all we need to do is hold, give Alliance enough time to show up with those reinforcements."

"You don't sound to enthused, sir," Arthur said, checking his pistol barrel and omni-tool.

"So what's the plan sir," Ami jumped in before Josh could gather himself to answer.

"Guerrilla warfare," Josh shrugged, "do not get to far from the medical building, in case we need to comeback." _Or I need to come back. _

"Sounds simple enough," Kamilah came in.

"Well that," Josh smiled, "and don't get shot."

"Sounds simple enough," Ami smiled, and the whole squad laughed.

Josh got up while they were still laughing and walked to a window to look at the sky. He could see the blasts from the battle overhead, and he could only thank God that there was no bombardment yet. Luckily the above forces would stall the attackers long enough for reinforcements, but that was not likely. Josh was still in his thoughts when he heard a rumble in the distance.

"What is that?" Amari asked, getting up and moving towards the window.

Josh raised his hand telling them to be quite and looking into the distance. He heard more blasts and saw more lights going off in the distance. It was just a few seconds more until he could make out a distant shape, and then a few more.

"Turret fire," Josh said under his breath, "get ready."

His finger twitched and he closed his hand around his pistol, grasping it firmly. He turned to face his squad and saw them close their hands around their weapons as well.

"Well," Josh said quietly, "let's move."


	9. Chapter 8: The Storm

Disclaimer: Obviously all of the game characters, places etc. are creative property of BioWare.

**Chapter 8**

**The Storm**

_War grows out of the desire of the individual to gain advantage at the expense of his fellow man._

_Napoleon Hill_

_Only the dead have seen the end of war._

_Plato_

The next series of events seemed like a blur for Cormac. He couldn't say what happened, but shots were fired and a few fighters attacked SSV Plataea. Captain Lee commanded that there was no effort to repel the fighters, and no risk of overheating the drives or the ship's hull, as it was already fairly heated. They were counting on their allies to clear the fighters around them, and for the most part they handled their jobs nicely.

"Sir," Lieutenant Johanna Stromberg came in, "we are too close to the carriers, entering the atmosphere risks overheating us completely."

Cormac had the sense to check the gauges and indicators, noticing that Johanna was right. In the battle he barely even noticed, but now he felt the heat of it, uncomfortably so. He noticed his forehead sweating buckets, some drips getting into his eyes, impairing his vision.

"Sir," he muttered when there was no response, "she is right. We need to pull back and disengage, enter FTL as soon as possible."

Just as he was finished, Cormac felt a hand on his shoulder. His head turned quickly, just for a second to make sure it was Captain Lee as he suspected. The Captain's face looked almost serene now, more so than usual. His eyes were focused on the carrier in front of them, peeking at the sensors every few minutes.

"We won't make it," he whispered more to himself than to Cormac.

Cormac new that the Captain was right. There was no hope to fight through the attacking fleet now, not enough time to heat FTL and even if they hit a lucky streak they would not get far away to be immune to pursuers. There was death at every single corner, there was little choice. As Captain's hand squeezed his shoulder, Cormac realized what was about to happen. He wanted to cry, but nothing came. Some how he felt calm, concentrated, at peace.

"You sure Captain?" this was a rhetorical question as they were both seeing the same thing.

Captain Lee took a very painful inhale for a second before nodding, his hand reached for the communicator, but Cormac stopped it for a second, before letting it go. For that one instance there was just one bit of fight left in him, but then it got defeated, by something else, by something greater. At that moment Cormac believed that it may have been his soul, putting him at peace. Captain Lee picked up the communicator.

"One marine once told me that there is no honour in death," he started.

"Sir," Johanna sounded confused.

"He said that the best we can hope for is foolishness disguised as bravery, or heroism," the Captain went on ignoring the Lieutenant. "I never believed him though. There is one thing about running from death, and trying to beat it, or walking into it with no purpose. That is indeed either cowardice or stupidity, but dying for a cause is different. Perhaps you are not going to be here to reap the rewards, but that's what makes it even more heroic. Anyone can act brave when they live to see the result, but it takes a greater man to face his fears head on and take the risk of winning but never emerging victorious."

He paused for a second, Cormac even thought he heard a small whimper, a manly one, but still a whimper before the Captain gathered himself and went on. "I have had an honour to serve with all of you. And if some may call us foolish for what we are about to do, then let them call me foolish, the rest of you die heroes. There is no other choice, there is only one choice before us, how we die. Do we run and get shot in the back, or do we come forward and take them with us."

The communicator clicked and shut off, no response came from the other line. Even though Cormac was further from the rest of people he could feel the ship drop silent and calm. It felt as if everyone froze right then and there, just in that one moment.

Captain Lee's hand started to lift Cormac up, he willingly got up. The Captain fell into his seat before the _SSV Plataea_ could go into auto-flight mode. His face was set in stone as always, focused only on the goal ahead of him. Nothing has ever changed for Captain Lee, he was always the same, always with the same expression on his face, same look of certain determination. The only difference between this time and all the others, there were two streaking moist lines pouring silently down his cheeks.

"Hold on," he said quietly before taking control.

_SSV Plataea _gave a sudden burst of speed as it exploded past the last two fighters in front of them, taking more fire as it moved. Cormac watched everything as if frozen, his eyes focused on the carrier before them, he knew exactly where Captain was aiming the ship.

As the frigate hit the atmosphere Cormac felt even hotter, almost burning up. _We might not make it_, he batted the thought away as soon as it came. There was no chance for a second try, no room for failure, this had to be it. Where they were going there was no coming back, no re-run. He felt even hotter, too uncomfortable, his clothes soaked.

A sudden burst from the back of the ship indicated that the drives overheated and a chain reaction has started. He could hear the hull breaking apart and an explosion gathering. It was almost here, the end was nigh, and Cormac felt it. It didn't matter anymore, because Captain Lee pushed _SSV Plataea_ into where it needed to be, into the main engines of the biggest carrier of the fleet.

Cormac closed his fists and pressed his nails into his palms, almost to the point of bleeding. The heat was there, it was engulfing him, it was liberating him. He could feel the chain reaction resuming around him, the carrier catching on and starting to explode. Cormac felt the last burst of heat engulf him, his skin burn, and his body ache with pain he has never experienced before. And then, he was nothing more but a memory.

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"What happened?" Kamilah asked the question first when a huge explosion littered the sunset sky.

"One of the carriers went down," Josh said, trying to force notes of enthusiasm into his tone.

"This is Sheppard," came a voice over communicators, "we have just lost the signal from _SSV Plataea_, Captain Lee's frigate. It was last detected entering the atmosphere, anyone noticed anything."

"They're dead," Josh muttered, brushing away whatever seeds of hope were just planted in him, gripping his pistol even harder now.

"Ma'am," came another voice, it sounded young, scared, trapped, "they have landed ma'am. They are Batarians. There are just so many. What should we do? Open fire?"

"Use explosives first," came a response over the communicator.

Josh turned to his squad, checking everyone's face. If they were scared they sure hid it quite well, everyone had their 'war face' on. "Let's move," these boys will need our help.

They made their way through the grounds, rushing forward at high speeds. The armour was weighting Josh down, making it harder to move, harder to run. He found himself short of breath within five minutes, cursing that cigarette he took from Kamilah the other night. Surprisingly enough, she did not show a single sign of fatigue, just trotting on with her assault rifle on the ready.

It took them just a few minutes before the sound of gunfire and explosions reached their ears. Josh signalled with one hand as they ducked behind two buildings for cover. Josh peeked out assessing the situation. One of the carriers had landed. It was slightly smaller than what he had expected, but Batarian pirates were still coming out of every possible exit. The sheer number of them amazed him. His previous estimation of 7 to 1 could not have been more off. Josh's heart froze.

"Get closer," Josh said, moving along the wall, "don't open fire until completely in range. Grenades on the ready, give our boys some cover."

The disorganized nature of the attack was showing quickly. The enemy did not organize its ranks nor did they try to flank the small squad attacking them from the side almost opposite from Josh. It seemed as a stupid idea but they tried to take the Alliance marines head on, even though they were on higher ground and better protected. Because the carrier never landed properly, the Batarians lost all of the advantage and it was good.

As they moved closer his hand started to shake slightly. They could not be noticed, not until they were close enough to fight. The squad did not have the higher ground advantage and could be easily overwhelmed, that is why surprise was essential.

"Grenades ready," Josh said as they ducked behind a concrete block in front of them, probably a remainder of the building the carrier crushed through.

As if on cue, five grenades left their cover and found refuge in the midst of Batarian forces, Josh pressed his detonator first. His grenade was enhanced with incendiary explosion as it engulfed a large host of the enemy. The other explosions followed swiftly after, positions just far enough from each other not to interfere but close enough to cause maximum distraction.

The enemy numbers seemed to stall for a minute before continuing their fire on the enemy with higher ground. Evidently the Batarians have not figured out that the attack came from behind, only a few had the good sense to turn, just to receive slugs to their foreheads.

Josh's heart was pounding as he unleashed rounds into a crowd of Batarians, hearing his squad shooting as well only sped it up. It felt like his ears were lodged and all he could hear was his own heartbeat, for some reason it felt very relaxing rather than anything else, but perhaps that was just the adrenaline acting up. There was really no reason to aim either, the enemy was crowded hoping for their numbers to cause a shock effect, so every bullet was bound to hit something.

For a moment Josh paused, hearing his pistol beep and the handle get incredibly warm in his grasp. He let it go with one hand, not dropping it but letting it hang at his side. Quickly, his hand went up, focusing mentally. Focusing his electrical impulses coming off from his brain was always easier for Josh, or so everyone claimed, this moment it all happened almost at an instant, a wave of dark energy shooting from his hand forward, felling a few Batarians on their backs.

A sudden jerk pulled him down to the ground. Dumb folded Josh stared Kamilah in the face, assuming she was the one to pull him down. "What the fuck? My pistol is just done recharging."

"Yes," she said, pointing to his shoulder, "but your armour is not, sir."

Only then did Josh notice a smoking small hole on the shoulder blade joints of his armour. There was a bit of smoke coming out of it and a tinkle of blood. He felt the pain sharply now, it hit him like a train coming out of the tunnel. Josh clenched his teeth, feeling them grind against each other and gathering his thoughts quickly.

"Medigel," he grunted through his teeth.

Kamilah was one step ahead of him, already applying the gel to his injured shoulder, her tender fingers squeezing right through the small hole.

"Try not to get shot, sir," she smiled as she replaced the back into her amour slot.

"Concern note private," Josh said getting up, and firing a few blasts at the enemy again.

It seemed like they were only there for a few minutes but the enemy numbers have thinned, with no apparent damage taken by the Alliance soldiers what's so ever. The remaining Batarians started to retreat within the smaller carrier, using its walls for cover. Josh's fingers reached for his communicator.

"You need help clearing this sucker out?"

"No sir," came the voice he heard before, only this time the marine did not sound scared, but rather enthusiastic and excited.

"Don't get shot," Josh said, "I'd suggest blowing it up."

"That was easy enough," Amari smiled as Josh brought his finger away from the communicator.

"They landed badly," Josh said, "they were trapped, it's hardly a reason to throw a party. Besides it looks like we got way more shit to look forward too as is."

"All squads," Sheppard's voice seemed to shake more than before, something had happened. "We have more breeches, through the spaceport..."

"They are doing it properly now," Josh said, looking into the sky, seeing another fighter burn through the atmosphere. Well, you hear the Second Lieutenant, to the docking bays."

As the words fled his mouth his squad was already on the move. He took time to note that Amy was favouring her left leg, and limping slightly, probably because of a gun wound, she probably got hit. Other than that everyone was alright. Josh found himself hoping that they would end up closer to the medical building so him and Amy could heal up. Before he even finished his thought he realized he was lying to himself, that was hardly the reason he wanted to stop by the medical buildings.

As they cleared the first carrier debris distinct sounds of Alliance weapons came from behind them, and one scream, this time distinctly Batarian.

"Carrier zone clear Corporal," the upbeat voice came through his ear peace.

"Move to the space docks then," Josh didn't waste time to congratulate or praise the small squad, he was hoping that he would do it after all of this was done, but that was a fool's hope. All of this was nothing; the main fight was still to come. "Hoorah," he found himself muttering under his breath though.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thadan watched the map quietly, seeing the ships around him scramble. There were probably two more Alliance ships somewhere out there, the ones that had the time to hit the FTL and disappear for a cool down, he wasn't even going to bother to chase them. For now, his fleet was simply sitting ready around Elysium's orbit, getting prepared to escort more carriers that were just brought through the Mass Relay to the surface.

He knew that it would be dangerous to bring only a handful of carriers, so the rest of the fleet stayed beyond the relay, waiting for proper commands. Thadan appreciated the plan already, seeing how two of the carriers were lost and only two were safely making into the space port.

As insane as it seemed, the only way to get most of the soldiers onto the surface safely was through the space port. Any other location would probably provide complications for proper landing, and outside of the colony, it was too well fortified, without proper, up-to-date equipment it would be more of a struggle, but now that the tiny Alliance Elysium defence fleet was taken care off there was nothing stopping the advance.

"Move in the fighters," Thadan scratched his chin, "accompanied by a few frigates. I want those turrets down when the next group of carriers gets here."

There was nothing else but a nod from his crew as they scrambled a few messages in Batarian. In a moment, some of the fighters separated from the fleet and headed towards Elysium's surface accompanied by a few frigates.

"Sir," one of the crew members looked at him, "we've lost contact with the crashed carriers' crew."

"Did they accomplish their mission?"

"It seems so."

"Good."

Thadan turned away and looked at a different holographic projector, this was similar to the space map that he had in front of him, but this one was mapping out the surface of Elysium. It did not show specific building outlines or even full heat signatures, but a few small dots generated by a small signal were showing. He looked for a pattern, it was rather sporadic, but some of them converged onto one location consistently, one of the ones that appeared earlier started to distance from the others though.

"Zero in on these co-ordinates," Thadan said, pressing his finger on the concentration, sending a heat signature so his crew knew what he was talking about.

This was going better than he anticipated after all.

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Josh looked straight at Sheppard as she came into view. His squad came quickly behind him. Behind Stephanie, he could hear gunfire and even see a couple of soldiers falling back behind cover. He tried to lean to the side of Sheppard to assess the situation. Before he could get a good glimpse she pulled him to her eye level, her eyes focused on his shoulder briefly, before skipping over to Amy's leg.

"Med-bay," she said in a matter-or-fact tone, "on the double, we need you to come back here quickly."

Josh was about to object something Stephanie closed his mouth with just one look. It was quite pointless arguing with her. It seemed that she was altering the groups that were protecting the lone docking bay entrance.

The location made for an easier battle than he hoped. Elysium colony was better constructed than Josh anticipated, and the only _logical_ way to get a good grip on the colony was to enter though the shipping yard and not risking to lose too many men to problematic landings or trying to breach the wall. As much as it put the attacker at a disadvantage, the numbers would come through eventually.

"Casualties?" Josh asked turning to head for the med-bay, Amy at his side.

"Twenty so far," Stephanie's eyes got a little bit sadder, "some soldiers, some civilians. We keep holding them back, but they keep coming, we don't have the numbers. So... Hurry the fuck up."

"Understood," Josh said before turning to Amari, Arthur, and Kamilah, "you stay here, provide support."

"I need the med-bay too," Amari said quietly, "I think I twisted my ankle."

"Quick check up only," Sheppard was stern, "Go!"

Without aggravating the Second Lieutenant any more, Josh turned and jogged towards the medical buildings, Amari and Amy right behind him. He saw a couple soldiers being carried on his way too. They got it way worse than he was, something that made him feel guilty for going to get healed up now, rather than staying to help where help was needed.

The medical area looked hectic. Even though the defending forces barely came over a hundred, it was already quite full, some of the soldiers already badly wounded and put out of battle, at least for a few hours, the time that they were needed the most. One of the nurses at the very front sized them up with their eyes, pointing to different locations without saying a single words. Josh figured there was no time for conversation anyways.

"I'll take him," he heard a familiar voice as he was making his way to the designated med-station, "you can take the next one."

The male medic turned to Tanya and gave her an almost accusing look before signalling for Amari to come in. Josh made his way quickly to Tanya and sat down on the stretcher. Tanya knelt by him and looked at his shoulder as Josh slipped his shoulder out. Although Alliance armour was very durable, it still allowed for a lot of mobility and flexibility, made out of special materials, allowing him to easily free up just the side he needed.

"Doesn't look too bad," Tanya said smiling, checking the wound over with an omni-tool scan, "you probably shouldn't even be here now."

"That's what I told them," Josh ground his teeth.

The omni-tool gave a quick series of beeps. From the way that Tanya's pupils contracted, Josh figured it wasn't too good. There was something wrong definitely. Tanya started banging her fingers over the holographic keyboard projection, trying to make sense of the readings. She felt confused what she was seeing.

"Something is reacting with your electrical impulses," she said, half lost in her own words, as if she was speaking through a haze.

"You mean with my biotics?"

"Yes," Tanya said, "I can't quite pick up on what it is, but it something in your blood, some compound."

"Is it serious?" Josh tried to get up but Tanya's hand forced him back onto the bunk, "I've had a check up yesterday, and everything was alright? Can it be radioactive rounds?"

"Most likely," Tanya kept looking for something on the omni-tool, now patched into the extranet Alliance database, "but it is not harmful, at least not that I can pick up. Give me a second."

They descended into silence. Josh was worried now, as Tanya scrambled her fingers all over the keyboard and read frantically through the information before her. He became increasingly aware of the noises around him, scrambling of the medics, the moans of some of the injured soldiers. They were taking losses, it was a surprise they were still alive and defending, and not overpowered. He guessed Sheppard's plan worked, at least to some extent.

"It's giving off a different signal," Tanya said, confused, "a radioactive heat signatures, it's not lethal, but can be easily picked up on censors... If they are tuned to the right signatures. I only noticed yours because your biotics didn't handle it properly, reacted with it in an unexpected matter. It's not dangerous, no more so than a flu shot."

Josh nodded slipping his hand back into his combat suit sleeve. He looked up at Tanya, who by was much more relived now that she knew he was fine, pushing a boulder off her shoulder. Her eyes were lighting up yet again. Not as before, but there was a small sparkle there. _Thank God it's not lethal..._ they said to him.

"Wait," Josh said after he got up, "can you tune onto the signatures right now?"

"What?"

"The signatures," Josh said quickly, "for the compound that's in my blood? Can you fixate on the right now?"

"Yes," Tanya said, banging on her omni-tool, "but I don't know why you want me too. It will clear your system within an hour.... What the...?"

"What," Josh tried to work himself around her side so he could see the readings on her omni-tool sensors. Tanya was quite accommodating as well, rotating her body so he could get a look of her scanner. It wasn't strong nor did it have a lot of range, but the sensor already picked up at least five readings.

"They are all in this room," Tanya shrugged, looking surprised.

Josh grabbed her by the shoulders, swinging her body around so she was eye to eye with him. He focused, trying not to get lost in her eyes again. They stood there like that for a few seconds before he gathered himself, figuring out what Tanya should do.

"Get out of here," he spoke quickly, "you're not safe, neither are the medics."

"What," Tanya let a nervous chuckle escape her throat, "Sheppard is still holding down the docks."

"No," Josh said, "it's not from a ground attack, you have to listen, "we all have to get o..."

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A loud blast interrupted Sheppard in the middle of her instructions as Kamilah turned to face Arthur, who was just as confused as she was. Sheppard stood still with her mouth open, her speech cut mid-sentence. It took a few seconds for all of them to click on the right conclusion.

"Bombardment?" Arthur asked, "now?"

"No," Sheppard said, looking around, "it was just one blast... Medical center now!!!"

All of the chatter cut out as Sheppard sprinted towards the medical center, Kamilah and Arthur right behind her. While they were running Kamilah saw a streak of smoke coming from that direction, and over all it just didn't seem right. She couldn't place exactly what happened, but at the same, she sprinted even harder, feeling that something was wrong. She even passed Sheppard.

"Stay in positions," Sheppard was screaming into her communicator, "I will investigate."

They cleared the rest of the distance in five minutes. When Kamilah came into the view of the medical center, or what remained of it, she couldn't help but freeze in place, her legs wouldn't listen to her brain, refusing to carry her forward. Arthur bumped into her, and they both tumbled to the ground. As Kamilah got up, she got a glance at Sheppard's face.

The Second Lieutenant was standing perfectly still, just like she was, her mouth open, her eyes wide. Her hand let go of the grip around the pistol around her hip, a few tears started to form around her eyes. After a few seconds she darted towards the debris, blowing right past Arthur and Kamilah, who were just brushing the dust off their combat armour. Arthur was the first one to follow, and she did not make them wait too long either, right on their tail.

"Josh," Kamilah said, concerned, looking through the debris, screaming loud enough so survivors could hear her.

"Anyone?" Sheppard's voice was shaking, but she was quick to collect herself, "Anyone!!!"

"We got Amari," Arthur whispered, pushing a half charred body over onto it's back, a trade mark smile still indented in his lips.

"Corporal," Kamilah whispered rushing towards a familiar shape she noticed sitting up at the edges of the rubble, sitting over something... someone.

As Kamilah came onto Josh, she was hesitant to say anything. He was sitting his legs straight on the ground, face black from the rubble, cradling Tanya in his hands. There was a big metal chunk of a medical tray sticking out through her ribs. Josh's left arm was fully bare now, the armour cut off at the shoulder, broken off clean. His hand was bleeding from at least a dozen of cuts, but he didn't seem to notice. Kamilah paused, not willing to even touch the Corporal.

Josh stared at Tanya's face, still feeling her body rising up and down, watching her chest moving. He knew she was breathing, he could feel the faint stream off air coming from her nostrils hitting his hand. He held her, not to tight, not too hard, just the right amount. Tanya's eyes slowly came open.

"Josh," she whispered, "where am I."

"You're with me," he whispered, fighting back the tears, "with me... See, I didn't leave you, I did not."

"I can't feel my legs," she whispered, trying to look down onto her body.

Josh brought her closer to him, trying not to let her look down. Perhaps if she didn't know she would make an effort to stay alive, to keep functioning, to stay with him. He knew he was lying to himself, but he didn't want to let go. Even though they knew each other for close to a month, this was not forced, this was real. He knew it somehow, he felt it from the way they talked, from the time they spent together, she couldn't leave him, not now.

"Don't leave me?" he whispered, leaning into her ear, "don't leave me now. Don't."

"I love you," she whispered back, pushing her lips into his.

Josh closed his eyes, tasted her lips. For that moment, for that eternity he was not there, he was somewhere else, perhaps even on beautiful Eden Prime, he was not on Elysium, no one was dying, and they were together. He held her tight, bringing his lone hand through her dirty hair, cradling it gently. A sour taste forced him out of his dream as Tanya's head got pushed back from his. Josh tasted blood, the blood that was dripping down Tanya's lips now. Her eyes still focused on his, whispering at him, crying at him.

Only then did he notice that her hand was clutched around his fist, and something was inside his fist. Josh opened his fist, looking at what was in it. Inside it there was his chain with two dog tags, one his, one Zeke's. Only now there was something that was lodged between them, a small golden locket. With trembling, dirty fingers he propped it open to reveal a picture of Tanya, and on the opposite side, her sister's. His hands closed the locket as Josh closed his fist around the chain again. His eyes now completely moist, tears streaking down his face, creating clear streaks through the dirt.

"Corporal," he heard Kamilah's soft voice and felt her hand on his bare shoulder, "sir, we need to regroup at the space port."

He looked up into her eyes. Josh couldn't push Tanya from his mind, but he clearly saw the compassion in Kamilah's eyes. He got up slowly, taking one last look at Tanya's lifeless body, wiping the tears from his face, smearing the dirt more. "We must burry her," he said, looking around for the first time, "we must burry them all."

"Are you alright?" Kamilah asked, helping him up and shooting a concerned glance at his bloodied arm.

"I'll be fine," he said, staggering a bit, "it will heal eventually. Other things don't"

Kamilah nodded, understanding and guided Josh towards where Sheppard was standing next to Arthur and Amy. Amy looked banged up but no worse for wear. Josh remembered seeing her leave the front door so she probably got away. That meant his squad was still intact. His eyes dropped to Arthur who was staring at something. Josh followed the glance to see Amari's burned up body lying in the rubble. He turned his face away quickly.

"Understood," Sheppard ended with someone on the communicator, "we're on our way." She turned to Josh, "are you good to go?"

He nodded, sadness replaced by rage in his eyes, with a hint of determination.

"We need to move," she said, "they keep pressing. We've lost our medics, so consider the space port our last stand. All of the civilians in bunkers don't stand a chance otherwise."

She was giving her little speech as they were already on the run towards the space port. Josh felt a little weak on his feet but didn't say a word. His eyes were fixated in front of him, staring into empty space. Sometimes a quick glimpse of Tanya appeared, but he pushed it away as quickly as it came.

"We need to buy more time," Sheppard went on, "that is all. We need to try and seal the spaceport from the colony with a manual override."

"There is no access," Arthur noted, "the enemy is in the spaceport."

"I know," Stephanie was ready with an answer right away, "that is why I will lead a small squad in. We need to seal it, it will buy us enough time."

"Second Lieutenant," Josh heard a small static voice over Sheppard's communicator.

"Yes?" she stopped, pressing her fingers into her ear.

"This is SSV Agincourt," came a female voice, "we are on approach to Elysium with at least 50 Alliance Navy ships. What is the status on the ground."

"Ma'am, we are outnumbered, and I am not sure for how long we can hold back the assault," Sheppard responded, "we will try to seal the colony from the space port. Thanks for showing up so fast."

"Just hold on, we're on approach, but we need to clear the sky first."

Sheppard nodded as the connection cut out and they resumed their run. The rest of the time was spent in compete silence until they reached spaceport access. A few marines were sitting against the wall, displaying bleeding wounds, some moaning. Markus was one of them, but he barely noticed Josh, as he was focused on the ground before him.

"I'll go," Josh grabbed Sheppard on the shoulder, "I'll seal the colony, you need to stay here."

"It's my mission," Stephanie pushed his hand off.

"They need you here more," Josh said, "I'll go."

"You'll need me sir," Arthur came in, "I know how to work that computer, I will be able to seal it quickly."

"We'll go too," Kamilah and Amy said almost in unison.

"The whole squad then," Josh said, "we'll go. That's why you made me Corporal, made me train with them, for shit like this. Let us go then."

"It's my mission," Stephanie went on with the argument, but her voice sounded defeated, there was no point to arguing.

Josh knew he was right. The morale was low from the very beginning, and even if Sheppard's risk would bring encouragements to those around her, she was much more use alive, giving confidence in person than in spirit. This was a suicide mission most likely. After sealing off the spaceport there would be a time limit to get out, and if making it through waves of Batarians to the control rooms would be hard enough, making it back on a time limit would be impossible.

"Well," Josh turned himself to his squad, "I know how you love words. I got none. You don't have to come if you don't want to."

They all nodded as he turned and looked at Sheppard. None of his squad turned around to walk away, he still felt their presence behind them as his eyes were staring into Sheppard.

"I'm sorry," Stephanie whispered, "I should have spread them like you said. I should have..."

"Did you kill her?" Josh asked, monotone.

"No," Sheppard wiped one tear off her check and forced the rest back inside her.

"Then you have nothing to be sorry for," he said, walking past her and getting into a jog through the narrow corridor.

In a few minutes they came into a grander opening, the main entrance. The gunfire was almost deafening. There were two entrances, both protected by about 10 marines, firing from cover. Josh could see the bodies that layered the corridors beyond the entrances, mostly Batarian. A number of human bodies lay lifeless in the hallway.

Ulysses Roba, a man in his late forties, with a rugged look of a mercenary walked up to Josh. He was the owner of one of the local security companies, ex-C-Sec himself. After Sheppard pulled back, she left him in control of the hallways, constantly talking to her, exchanging soldiers so the ones he had now could get some rest, perhaps calm their nerves.

"Corporal," he said in a plain manner.

"Ulysses," Josh said, making sure he was behind cover, trying to speak through the gunfire.

"Why are you here," Roba, like many security personnel was very direct.

"We are going to seal the colony," Josh said, less sure of the words than he sounded.

"Good luck," Ulysses smirked, "I won't hold you back."

Josh worked his way to the cover and one side hallway. He tried to peek behind the corner and almost got his head blown off by a shot. His squad was already ready, guns in hand. They stared at him waiting for commands.

"Arthur," Josh turned, "you studied the schematics, suggestions?"

"About 50 meters down this hallway there is a maintenance vent," he brought the schematics up on his omni-tool, "large enough to crawl through. There is only one problem."

Josh peeked over the corner again, losing a few shots this time hitting two Batarian's, one in the chest, one in the head. "The hallway crawling with enemies?"

"That's the one," Arthur said.

"Get ready," Josh cut him off, "you will go first, we will be right behind you with cover."

"Sir," Arthur was confused, "I do not have supernatural powers to reflect bullets, and my kinetic barriers will only give me so much time. Maybe 10 meters."

Josh didn't say a word, but instead he got focused. Singularity was one of the hardest biotic abilities to master. It required immense amounts of concentration, and was also highly unstable. The person needed to always be in control, in charge of what he was doing, otherwise things could go very badly very fast.

This time however, he had very little problem. Josh found that he was focused on the matter in hand and the ability came to him quickly as he turned from the corner launching a stream of dark energy through the hall, about 15 meters ahead of him. A small rift in the matter appeared, pulling objects into itself, including many Batarians.

"Now," Josh said, looking at Arthur.

The young marine charged through the hallway, followed closely by Josh and then by Amy and Kamilah. As Arthur got into range, Josh threw a grenade ahead of them, dispersing the Singularity, and pressing the detonator. The sound of renewed gunfire mixed with the incendiary explosion rocked the hallway. All of a sudden everyone was firing. Josh felt a slug pierce his armoured shoulder through the kinetic shields, thinking to throw a kinetic barrier over him, instead throwing it over Arthur.

Arthur rushed in, his shots taking out a number of forces, suddenly, his body slowed as he dipped low and slammed his shoulder into the wall to his left. Josh tossed another grenade ahead to conceal the move as he did the same, followed swiftly by Kamilah and Amy. Amy quickly brought the piece of wall back up, closing it. Hopefully none of the enemies noticed.

A small flashlight flickered on Josh's combat armour and only then did he notice that Kamilah's stomach was bleeding from a shotgun blast. Amy took out her medigel and applied it with shaking hands, Kamilah moaning.

"Ami," Josh said, "you stay here, with her."

"Sir?"

"I don't want her moving," Josh said, "this path should take us to the control room."

The last statement was more of an inquisition rather than a statement. Josh turned to face Arthur, waiting for an answer. "Yes, it should."

"We won't need you then," Josh said, "take care of her, keep medigel applied."

"Yes sir," Amy didn't sound satisfied but like Sheppard, she realized Josh would give her little choice.

The maintenance tunnels were not as crowded as Josh expected, he was almost able to stand full height but not quite. Arthur was leading the way, the blue light of his omni-tool guiding their way. They took a few more turns before hitting a steeper slant down, almost slipping down before finding their balance.

"How come none of them are here?" Josh asked.

"They probably don't know," Arthur said, shrugging, "I doubt they had our schematics."

Josh nodded as they moved on. One more minute and they were in the control room. Dropping down, Josh found that it was surprisingly empty from what he was expected, but of course no one knew about the maintenance vents, so really, the enemy had no reason to waste extra forces on this. Arthur was the second one to drop down.

As soon as his feet touched the ground Arthur went straight for the computers right in front of him, banging on keys faster than Josh's mind could register, switching a few things. Josh tried to look at the camera screens, but all of those were static.

"Fuck," he heard Arthur mutter, "fuck! Fuck! FUCK!"

"Quiet," Josh whispered.

"We're fucked," Arthur said, "they blocked it off, I don't know how, but they must have something on their ship that is preventing the sealing procedure."

"So what now," Josh was looking at the screen, trying to read the code, but not even pretending to understand what he saw.

"I initiated the procedure here," Arthur said, "with maximum time limit, two minutes. We need to disable their disruptors though for it to work."

"And for that?"

"We probably need to get on one of those carriers," Arthur paused for a second, coming to the same logical conclusion as Josh, but not wanting to admit it, "or blow them."

"Engines," Josh nodded.

"That has the potential to blow the whole level of the deck," Arthur looked at Josh.

"But it would seal the colony," Josh finished the sentence for him as they looked at each other. "How are we supposed to get there."

"I am reading the sensors, they didn't jam those unlike the cameras," Arthur went back to the computer before him, "most of the force is piling through the main hallways. There are only a few groups of guards towards the carriers. But there is no other way."

"Amy," Josh said into his communicator, "we have to move on. Retreat if you can..."

"Sir?"

"Retreat if you can!" Josh unplugged his communicator to hold anymore arguments back.

Josh nodded and headed for the door. It slid before him and they slipped out of the control room. Josh unsheathed his pistol and activated a biotic barrier around him. Arthur brought up his assault rifle as they got into a jog.

After a few smaller corridors, Josh found himself with his back to a pillar, five Batarians patrolling in front of them. He looked at Arthur who was behind the pillar opposite to his and nodded. On a silent three the ducked from behind cover and unleashed a barrage of slugs. Josh could feel metal hitting his barriers, first the biotic, then the kinetic. Finally, he felt a jolting pain in his thigh, as he dipped slowly to the ground. In his stagger though he aimed with one healthy hand and shot a quick burst, taking down the last Batarian.

Josh looked at Arthur who was rubbing his bleeding shoulder, looking back at the Corporal. There was something determined behind Arthur's eyes.

"You can go back you know," Josh said.

"That's all I ever did," Arthur smiled, "this time we go forward."

They picked up again, working forward. Arthur looked at his omni-tool constantly, having connected it to the sensors in the control rooms. It helped them get around a few more checkpoints. The Elysium space port was not big enough for an endless hour of wandering, and they soon found himself next to two carriers that were force-docked. A squad of about 20 Batarians was patrolling the platforms.

Josh didn't wait this time. As he ducked from behind the corner his mind focused and a few enemies got lifted into the air, floating of to the side, over the hill. His necks biotic push dropped a few more. Within moments, his pistol was losing slugs at a high rate. He felt it heating and ducked behind a box at the last moment. He turned just in time to see Arthur sliding into cover too, his shoulder now bleeding.

Josh waited for the beeping noise to stop and ducked out again. His free hand shot out stasis over one enemy while he threw a grenade. His shots got mixed with the sound of the explosion as he felt two slugs enter around his abdominal and his feet stumbled under him. Josh dropped to one knee, shooting a few more times.

Arthur's assault rifle fire rang through the platform, a few more Batarian soldiers fell to the ground in front of him. Josh gathered his focus and brought up a warp field, causing confusion in the remaining soldiers, giving Arthur enough time to put away his overheating rifle and whip out a pistol, splitting a few more dome. With a grunt, Josh forced himself to his feet, bringing out a shotgun for a last charge, two loud shots blew two bodies almost to the end of the platform.

The last Batarian turned to head for the doors, but Arthur took him down with one shot to the head, brains spilling over the platform.

"Take that fucker," he screamed.

Josh bent to one knee again, noticing more blood coming from his abdominal and his shoulder. He reached back for the grenade and threw it at the engine covers of the carrier, followed by three more. Arthur did the exact same. He then walked over to Josh and started to drag him away, back off the platform.

About 10 meters away, more gunshots rang, forcing Arthur to drag the Corporal to the side, resting his back onto the box and taking cover himself. Josh leaned over to peek at the force, and saw at least 15 – 20 Batarians pouring onto the platform. Another noise indicated that the carrier doors were re-opening as well. Josh pulled out his detonator and pressed the button, as Arthur did the same.

Nothing.

"Fucking disruptors," Arthur muttered under his breath, "we have to manually arm the grenades now."

"We won't make it," Josh said, clutching his side.

"I will."

Arthur got up and loosened a few shots again moving backwards towards the ship. Josh forced himself to his feet and brought his pistol up again. He forced a biotic barrier around Arthur, and focused his fire on the enemy. A few fell, but they kept shooting. Suddenly a number of them jerked, as if shot from behind. In mere seconds, the gunfire mowed down the reinforcements.

Ami appeared from behind them, carrying her assault rifle on the ready, trying to stifle a smile. She kept moving forward with sure steps, and Josh couldn't help but feel glad to see her. The doors behind her slid open again though. He opened his mouth, but his throat was too dry and what was supposed to be a scream turned out to be no more than a grunt.

Ami turned to late to face the gunfire. If the first few shots caught her shields the rest went right through her, her body twitched and slumped to the ground, riddled with bullets. Josh ducked behind cover and looked at Arthur. He was almost by the grenades as the carrier door opened revealing a few more Batarians. In a second, Arthur was on his knees, Josh staring at his back. With one quick jerk, Arthur's hand went up and he fire three times to the side, not at the enemy. As a Batarian bullet forced itself through Arthur's skull, Arthur's bullet forced itself thorough a grenade, activating it, the explosion activating others.

Everyone turned to see the chain reaction. Everything around them was blowing up. One carrier ignited faster than Josh has ever seen, transferring the explosions to its neighbour. The boarding platform shook a few times as the Batarians seemed to forget all about Josh, scrambling off.

Josh plaid dead nicely, waiting for them to pass by. He then forced himself up one last time. He felt the blood leaking from his stomach, leaving a warm trail on the ground as he stumbled over the shaking surface to the wall, before collapsing down. He heard the explosions and felt the heat as his vision blurred and blacked out.


	10. Chapter 9: Closing the Chapter

Disclaimer: Obviously all of the game characters, places etc. are creative property of BioWare.

AblatedCrayon: Thanks for a lengthy review. In all honesty, although a lot of people are discouraged by a small number of reviewers, I do this as much for myself as well, and also I know people read it (or I tell myself that :P, but some are just not up for quick reviews). In terms of OC selection, I really want to challenge something here, like there is a lot of story with the ME characters that exist, but the problem is I also wanted someone who I could mould from nothing, which is the limitations of lots of FanFics is that you are working with the pre-existing character (Not so much with ME, considering that its probably one of the best and multi-layered RPGs out there).

As for the grammar, yeah, sometimes I Do get messed up with my proofreads, but I noticed I have been getting better. Thanks for reading, I hope you are really enjoy the rest. (I do realize that you reviewed 5 and I'm posting this on 9, but you'll get to it).

Side-note: I do realize there is only one p in Shepard and from now on I corrected that.

**Chapter 9**

**Closing the Chapter**

_You can never plan the future by the past._

_Edmund Burke_

_Always remember that the future comes one day at a time._

_Dean Acheson_

It was the same dream as it always was, only this time it was longer, with more to come. The events of the past on Elysium and even back at the Academy were still there, still with him, but most of those were just hypothetical situations of horror, where something was forced into him that wasn't real, except for Zeke. This was much more scary, much more frustrating.

Josh saw them all again, saw them dying and falling. He must have relived the battle close to a hundred times, but not once he could change the outcome, it always happened the same. The only thing that changed is that Tanya seemed to be crying more and more with each time, and each of his squad members were dying deaths that were more brutal.

Inside his head Josh knew that this torture was nothing more but a dream, an altered recreation of reality, him facing his worst fears and his worst memories. He wanted nothing more than to wake up, but he just couldn't. He could feel his body, and he could feel the pain all through it, yet he couldn't force his mind to find that ever elusive link with reality, he could grab on to nothing to wake himself up.

In the back of his mind he accepted that it was a dream, perhaps even a comatose one at that. It was too long a time for a nightmare to span over, and it always repeated itself, as if a tape rewound to the start just for another watch. Josh almost wanted to let go, to release and forget everything that ever was, to join Zeke, Tanya and everyone else in an endless slumber, but in his state, cutting the threads of life was as hard as clutching on to them for dear life.

Josh could not begin to estimate how much time has passed.

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He tried to open his eyes, very slowly. The overhead lights hit him square in the pupils blurring or edging out everything around him. His body felt the pain, and he tried to grunt but nothing came out. When dreaming, he felt no physical pain, but now, Josh felt as if his bones were being ground up into powder. He could hear a conversation of two people in the room, first fainter then the voices got loud. The female voice he could bring himself to recognize, but the male he never heard before.

"Look Corporal," the male sounded to whiny for Josh's preference, "you are going to have to leave."

"Well," Kamilah's voice didn't change one bit, perhaps slightly more wise, "then you are going to have to make me."

"Look," he kept arguing, but his tone accepted the loss, "there is not much we can do. You've been to see him on a number of occasions and it still hasn't changed. Take a rest."

"Am I ever in the way?"

"No Corporal," the male stepped back even more in his tone, "but it doesn't matter to him. He is unconscious, for all he knows he is still back in the spaceport."

"If it doesn't matter," Kamilah sprung her trap, "and I'm not in a way, then why not let me stay."

"You need rest, we've been told to encourage you to take some personal time instead of daily visits."

"Well," Kamilah sounded like she smiled, "I encourage you to think about your personal safety and let me be. Wouldn't want that pretty face to be mangled up now would we."

Josh tried to chuckle. His throat was extremely dry so everything that came out of it sounded more like a grunt than anything. As the noise left his throat, he also felt an extreme amount of pain spreading through his body, so he shivered, bringing even more of it in. Whatever it is he did, they must have noticed.

"We've got movement," the male said, his voice getting closer, "call the doctor."

"Is he alright," Kamilah seemed to step in too.

"He'll be fine, you have to leave though, medical personnel only."

The sound of heels going out the room echoed in Josh's ears while he felt a number of hands on his body, one checking his pulse, the other one trying to get a reading off his heart. A sterner female hand started to feel around his skull, Josh assumed that was the main doctor on duty. Her thumb forced one of his eyelids back up, flashing light into them. As if the first experience with light wasn't enough, this was even worse.

"Can you hear me?" she asked in a deep female voice, "do you know where you are?"

"I am with the Alliance," Josh tried to speak slowly, as if he was learning the words for the first time, "last thing I remember was on Elysium."

"Can you sit up," the doctor asked him, sliding her hand under his back to try and help him.

It was slightly more difficult, working through pain, feeling it rush through his body as soon as he tried to move muscles. It was receding now from the one he felt earlier, but still not what he would have preferred. It felt as if his body has been flattened and broken. The room came into focus again as Josh shook his head slightly, avoiding the tingling sensation in his neck.

There were a few nurses in the room, mostly female with one male who Josh assumed was the one talking to Kamilah. The doctor was in her late 60s, he assumed. There was no way predicting someone's age anymore, or at least it has gotten a lot more difficult. With new technological advancements, the fear of aging euthanized once and for all. Now people could feel younger than they actually were and live longer too. Josh made no mistakes about this one though, even though she looked attractive enough, he could tell by the hands and the eyes that she was longer, the hands and the eyes never lied.

"Are you alright to speak," she leaned closer, examining his face further.

"I could use some water first," Josh tried to smile again, this time slightly more painful. One of the nurses ran to get the water and came back seconds later.

It took some effort to drink it properly, with his body still in pain, but he knew he was much worse off. His body was healing, and with the marvels of contemporary medicine he knew he could be back in service in just a few weeks. Certain technicalities would definitely buy him more medical leave time, but if the Alliance military brass wanted him back tomorrow, they could probably have their wish as simply as expressing it in public.

"Thanks," Josh felt slightly better, the water making his throat much less dry.

"No problem," the doctor pulled out his file and looked at it intently before looking back up at Josh.

"What's the verdict doc?" Josh tried to smile and loosen up the atmosphere. He felt like all of the nurses were drilling holes in him with their constant gazes. In case of one of them he even felt it was slightly more than professional concern.

"I'd say you got about a week left with us," the doctor went on, either avoiding or not noticing the discontent in his voice, "maybe a couple days more. Also there is going to be a two week's sick leave from service. I hope you have no problem with that."

"None what's so ever."

"Good. You've suffered three broken ribs," she went on, reading of the list to him, "one collapsed lung, a dislocated shoulder, C6-7 vertebrae injury, now successfully restored and luckily it wasn't too serious. A number of bruises and burns as well as a broken leg. Also, you have evidence of light head trauma. "

"So that's why I feel like I got mauled down by a Thresher Maw."

The doctor chose to ignore the little quip, "it is a miracle you survived where they found you. We could have been faster with your recovery but there are certain limitations to working with patients who are not..." she tapped her temple with her index and middle finger, "fully present."

"Thanks doc," Josh tried to smile again, signalling for one of the nurses to refill his glass. "Just leave the pitcher on the bedside. And doc, there was someone here to see me? I mean if she's still here..."

"Surely you cannot be serious," the good doctor tried to cut him off, "you still require rest."

"That's why I'm in bed doctor," Josh was serious, "now could you please send her in?"

"Right away," she turned to one of the nurses, "go get Corporal, Alee."

Josh tried to recline slightly, getting a bit more comfortable. The nurse left a pitcher of water by his table and smiled at him as she walked out the door. She probably couldn't even imagine how much that hurt him at the moment, but he didn't blame her because most likely she didn't know.

Kamilah walked in the second that everyone else left the room, the hard doors sliding shut behind her. She was wearing her casual clothes, a pair of jeans and a simple t-shirt, making it quite clear that she was off duty and this was nothing more than a simple visit. Josh started at her for a while as she walked towards him and pulled up a chair. The time that he spent knocked out did not diminish her beauty one bit. This time she had her friendly face on instead of the usual professional demeanour that suited her not one bit.

"_Corporal_," Josh savoured the word, "that sounds incredibly fantastic. Lot's has changed I see."

"Not so much, sir," Kamilah smiled, she had a nasty little habit of still calling him sir, or even referring to him by his rank, which he hated. It seemed that they were friends, but after that one incident, she made an extra effort to seem most professional around Josh.

"You can cut the sir fuckery out," Josh smiled, drinking more water, "it seems we are quite level."

"Actually," Kamilah smiled, "I don't think you've heard the news yet have you... Sergeant."

"Well," Josh looked straight ahead, "fuck me sideways. Really?"

"To be honest I was a little surprised myself Josh," Kamilah laughed, reaching out to place something in his hand. "I believe this belongs to you."

Josh looked at his hand and saw a small chain lying in his palm. There was his own dog-tag, paired with that of Zeke and Tanya's locket. For a second he didn't know what to say or do. Most of him wanted to cry, to break down and recede back into the comatose depths of his mind, but the small part of him that still fought on wouldn't allow it.

"Thanks," Josh forced a smile onto his face. "So, updated me."

"After you _sealed_ the spaceport it made ground attacks for the Batarian squads that much harder, and their landings became very much sporadic and disorganized. Shepard rounded up the remainder of us and held them back until the very end. Luckily Admiral Hackett got there in time, but some of the smaller ships beat him to the punch, occupying the attacking fleet and taking the pressure off us. The commanding dreadnought retreated however and the Alliance did not give chase. It was hell, honestly, but thank God Shepard was with us, what she did saved many lives. Same as you."

"How about everyone," Josh said, but he only really meant three or four people.

"Amari you saw," Kamilah's voice got much sadder and quieter, "Arthur and Amy's bodies were found and I.. You were found in the rubble of a space port, your left hand caught in the metal framings of one of the port's board walks."

Josh looked at his left hand. No scars were evident to serve as a sign of what happened to it, but if it all went like Kamilah told it, there should have been a number of cuts and tears in the skin to show for his adventure. For some reason he would have preferred that no one genetically removed the scars, so they could serve as a reminder, but somehow he still knew that they would be there for him, visible or not.

"What about Tanya," he asked.

"They took her body home to have a funeral," Kamilah placed her hand on top of his, "her sister came to visit you a couple of times. She brought flowers but we had to remove them because nursing staff neglected looking after them, which can be a good thing since they were so dedicated to looking after you."

"What about Shepard?" Josh switched the topic quickly. Tanya was dead, nothing would change that and sulking about it would just drive him into a grave as well, not that he hadn't entertained the thought of it.

"_Lieutenant-Commander_ Shepard you mean?" Kamilah was glad that Josh was smiling again, just as much as she was glad he was alive. Even though they were not _that_ close, they only had each other left from that event, and Shepard, but she had bigger fish to fry. "She is assigned to SSV Hamburg," Kamilah paused as to judge Josh's reaction, "and has received the Star of Terra."

"She deserved it," Josh nodded, enjoying his water. He was really happy for Shepard and didn't even bother to feel envious in any way. She had a solid plan and she carried it out to perfection.

"She came to see you," Kamilah smiled, "I hope you know. She'll probably come again while SSV Hamburg is still docked. There are major reconstructions of the spaceport going on, as well as an increased security hike. They are talking about adding a military Academy around the orbit, in order to increase the security status."

"Sounds interesting," Josh yawned, perhaps he was more tired than he felt.

"I'll leave you be," Kamilah smiled, "I know you're tired, plus I have to get some sleep too."

Josh watched her walk out the room before sliding quietly into his bed and closing his eyes. He had much to think over. The person he loved was dead, and he had nothing left of her except for one tiny locket. Shepard was now a Lieutenant Commander of the Alliance Navy, and probably bigger things to do. Kamilah was a Corporal, he was a Sergeant. Things have changed, yet he did not know what he was going to do, or what was going to happen to him after all of this was done.

Quietly and inside his thoughts Josh dozed off to sleep. This time the nightmares didn't come, at least that he was happy for.

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His eyes were adjusting to the light better the more often he woke up. The nightmares were gone, Josh worked hard to push them out of his head. Every time he woke up he was still hoping that Tanya's slender and beautiful form would be beside him, and it hurt the same every time that he discovered it wasn't.

The moment he opened his eyes this time, Josh realized that there was someone else in the room. As he moved up to put himself into a sitting position he got a feel for how the healing process was going. The medical technology was remarkable to him, most of his body feeling if not fully rejuvenated at least less susceptible to pain. The medical staff informed him daily on how well and fast his recovery was progressing. In a few days he would be clear to check out.

"You always watch lower ranked soldiers sleep Lieutenant Commander," Josh smiled seeing Shepard at his bedside.

"Only sometimes," she smiled back. Shepard was still wearing her combat suit, which indicated that she was just off duty, or perhaps she acted like she was still on duty. Her hair was slightly shorter now, more appropriate for her rank. There was a small scar beside her left eye, stretching slightly towards the temple. "How are you feeling?"

"Better," Josh pointed to the scar, "I wish they would have left me a relic like that. I'd like to get nostalgic sometimes."

"Figured it would still be there even if I removed it," she touched it with her finger, twitching once it made contact.

"Fair enough," Josh reached for his pitcher and refilled his glass, "by the way. I forgot to congratulate you on being re-assigned."

"Thanks," suddenly her voice dropped to a lower volume, slightly more sad and apologetic, "look, I came to say I'm sorry. I am sorry for everything, I am sorry for Tanya, you were right."

"Did you kill her?" Josh asked, getting serious himself.

"No," Stephanie leaned back, almost surprised, "of course not."

"Then why are you sorry," Josh said in full seriousness.

"Look," Shepard went on, "you were right, I didn't have the foresight to predict an attack from above. We needed to spread them apart, give them more space, less chance to be detected. I could have saved them."

Josh took his hand put it over Shepard's, "we could have done lots of things, but you acted strategically and according to most of the regulations you did the right thing. Crying about it won't bring any of them back. You saved lives."

"Yeah," Stephanie didn't sound too convinced, "but at what cost? Look at how many we lost. Only if we were more prepared."

"There was nothing more we could have done Steph," Josh leaned forward now, "people die, that is what happens in war. We saved many lives."

"You lost her," Stephanie said quietly, "and you lost most your squad. I lost a lot of good soldiers on that planet too. There could have been a better plan, there must have been."

"There wasn't."

The room dipped into a complete silence, with no one making a sound for a second. Josh stared at Stephanie as she returned the gaze, wiping her tears with the back of her arm. She was a friend that he needed, and he felt bad for her now. He felt as if they grew closer on Elysium, but because of professional rankings there was a barrier between them as friends. Stephanie was always dedicated to her service, to 'doing the right thing.' Sometimes, that exact same attitude also caused her much pain, especially when her actions were not enough to achieve more than possible.

"I'm putting in a formal request to transfer you to SSV Hamburg," Stephanie broke the silence by finding her composure again. "I'd like for you to serve with me."

"I'm not sure what I want to do right now," Josh leaned back into his pillow, "I'm not ready to go back to the Alliance quite yet."

"What do you mean?" Shepard looked slightly confused

"I'm thinking of taking a leave of absence for a little bit..."

"For how long?"

"I'm not sure, a month, maybe two," Josh scratched the back of his head and readjusted his blanket just a bit to cover himself more fully. It was really cold in this room.

"Josh," Stephanie felt even more lost, "you're as much a hero of the Skyllian Blitz as I am. The Alliance needs us right now."

"The Alliance can find someone else."

"I can't believe I am hearing this," Stephanie got, looking around the room for something light to toss, before moving frantically back and forth.

"Why," Josh shrugged, "I do not have a level of dedication you do. I just need time to figure it out."

"You're part of the Alliance," Shepard didn't let up, "you have figured it out once you joined the Academy."

"Why are you so frustrated with this, it's my decision."

"Because I see the potential in you," Stephanie's voice rose up, "I know that you can do more good to the Alliance serving them than sulking. You can do much more for Tanya too. Think of what she would say."

"Don't bring her into this," Josh warned her.

"What about everyone else who relied on you," she went on oblivious to his warning, "about all those people who gave their lives? You are the one who has a responsibility before them. Amari, Amy, Arthur, Tan..."

"Don't bring them into this!!" his voice rose even higher, "I don' want to talk about this right now Stephanie. This is neither the time or the place."

"You're my friend, I won't let you ruin your..."

"Stephanie!! STOP!!!"

The room fell silent. Josh couldn't really say anything anymore, the anger has left his face as rapidly as it had came. Stephanie stared at him with a mixture of confusion and fury in her eyes for a quick second. She died down quickly right after, but the look he gave him made sure that the conversation wasn't over.

The door slid open again, letting in Sarah.

Josh almost jumped from his bed when he saw his sister. The doctors told him she was on Elysium now, even visited him while he was unconscious. However, she didn't show up when he was awake, bad timing or just a busy schedule, he couldn't tell. She was the closest person to him in the whole world, and he loved her more than anything else.

"Sarah," Josh tried to get up, this time it wasn't as hard and he found himself up on two feet.

"Josh," her face was beaming, "finally. I grew tired of watching you sleep."

"Sarah," Josh placed his hand lightly on Shepard's shoulder, "meet Lieutenant Commander Stephanie Shepard, she is responsible for saving may lives. Steph, meet my sister Sarah."

Shepard gave him an accusing look, but didn't want another argument. Her hand quickly shot up, but then she realized that Sarah was not Alliance and interrupted her salute mid-motion to stretch out a more formal version of a greeting. Sarah extended her own hand and shook Shepard's.

"I've heard so much about you," Stephanie smiled, "but I do have to run. Nice meeting you."

"Nice meeting you too," Sarah said, more so to Stephanie's back than anything, before turning back to Josh, "are you alright?"

"I'm fine sis," Josh sat down back on the bed, "what are you doing here though? Don't you have a business to run?"

"You're welcome," she gave him a mocking smile, "can't an older sister be concerned for her younger brother? And in terms of that, when you own an investment consulting firm travelling to a region that was prosperous to assess the effects of a recent military operation on stock and investments can very well be considered a business trip."

"So you're not really here for me then," Josh smiled.

Sarah laughed and threw a pillow at him. She reached inside her bag and pulled out a few homemade sandwiches, the kind only she could make, coupled with some ice tea. Josh got to work on those fast, even though he had lunch literally a couple hours ago, this offer was too much to pass by. Whenever he ate anything Sarah cooked he felt as if he was back home, nothing more but a child.

"You didn't bring Jessie?"

"No," Sarah smiled, "she's back home. I didn't know how bad you were, didn't want her to... you know... see her uncle like that."

"Probably a good idea," Josh said, chewing on a particularly delicious bite and chasing it with ice tea.

"So when are they letting you go?"

"Probably around a week from now sis," Josh finished with one and moved on to the next one, Sarah sitting across from him, arms folded on her lap, studying his face.

"Well," she started, "for the time that you're on leave, you're staying with me at the hotel."

"How long can you stretch this '_business trip_' sis?"

"As long as I want," Sarah tilted her head to the side to try and get a look at Josh's side, see if any scars remained, "and I won't take no for an answer. You need your big sister right now."

Josh looked back at her and smiled. No one ever made him feel like Sarah did. Well, that was not completely true, his mom, and then Tanya did, but they were gone, and Sarah was here. He leaned forward and embraced his sister in a big hug. He didn't want to let go, and she held him tight, his head on her shoulder. He couldn't tell how long they sat there like this, just holding each other, he couldn't tell how long he cried for either. Tears that very slowly began to turn into anger.

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The medical staff check him out promptly next week, but put him on two weeks of medical leave. For that time Sarah took him in. Josh barely left the hotel, enjoying the view from one of the higher floors. The Elysium reconstruction project was very well underway and mostly finished, or at least the parts he could see were finished. From what he heard the space port was fairly damaged, and it would take longer to rebuild it. For the time being an alternative landing area was set up just to the side of the main colony.

Sarah came and went. Despite the fact that she did come to Elysium to be with her brother, she also did a lot of work, always allowing for a half an hour to write emails and official letters when she got home. After that they spent their time together, watching movies or talking. Josh felt almost lost whenever she was not there. When Sarah was gone he couldn't help but think about Tanya, Arthur, Amy, Amari, Zeke, and everyone else. He forced those memories back and tried to build around them they always came back.

The news constantly updated on the situation. The official Alliance investigation, with the council's involvement was underway. The leading dreadnought of the attacking force got away, and none of the smaller captured leaders gave out any useful information. The investigations were stranded exactly where they started. At some point there was talk of official Spectre involvement, however, the Council shot the suggestion down, with fairly explicit implications that this was humanity's struggle and there were _greater_ threats to the galactic peace.

On one morning Josh got up early, but Sarah was already gone, probably wrapping up another meeting. He found a cute, sisterly note on the table along with an omelette. He enjoyed it very much, mostly because Sarah cooked it the same as mom used to, with tomatoes, olives, three kinds of cheeses, and some mushrooms with ham. After breakfast, he walked up to the window, studying the world below him.

The buzz of the intercom system brought him out of his thoughts.

"Who is it," he asked into the speaker.

"It's Kamilah," a very cheerful voice came from the other side, "let me up."

After a few minutes of waiting, she was before him again, wearing her casual clothing, this time a pair of dress pants and a something akin to a vest. Her face was beaming. "I got my transfer."

"Congratulations," Josh opened his arms, embracing Kamilah in a hug, "where are you headed."

"I am going for Eden Prime," she said, dreamily, "five year period."

"That's kind of a long commitment there," Josh offered her a seat and quickly pulled out a plate of assorted cheeses from the fridge. "Water? Ice tea? Soda?"

"You got wine," Kamilah's tone was light and worry less.

"As long as you're off duty," Josh came back with a plate of cheeses and crackers and a bottle of red _Haut-Médoc_ wine, one of the rarest. His sister was an enthusiast and got her hands on anything that had that _nostalgic_ feel to it, in this case it was the wine. Josh would feel no guilt drinking it however.

"I know," Kamilah said as she grabbed a piece of _pyrenees vache with green peppercorns _and placed it on a cracker and Josh poured the wine, "but I really need this."

"I thought you wanted to be on the front lines," Josh offered her a glass, taking a seat and helping himself to some cheese.

"I thought so," Kamilah took a small, tasteful sip, enjoying the flavour, "but the Blitz put it all in perspective for me. I don't exactly know what I want yet, I'm not sure. I've always had this pressure from my family to do something, especially from my mom. And then everyone else wrote me off as just a 'pretty girl' and I wanted to prove them wrong. I guess what I'm saying is that I've been living my life for them instead of for myself."

"Sounds like you're really on top of it," Josh smiled, trying the wine himself. It was really something else. It has been a while since he has had good wine. The military life did have its disadvantages in the diet department.

"I want you to come with me," Kamilah put down her glass and leaned forward, almost reaching out to grab his hand but not quite, simply just going half way.

"Kami," Josh looked at her lovingly, but as a friend, "you're my friend."

"I know," she said, leaning back, "and you're mine, and I understand that. I can't be her, I can never replace her and I don't want to try. But you gave me a chance, you did not only see me for how I looked but you knew me for a soldier as well as myself. You saved my life. You're one of the few friends I have and I am asking you to come with me as a friend, and nothing more."

"I understand that," Josh tried to make his smile look warm, but it felt kind of awkward being on his face, "but I am not sure what I am going to do yet. I might take a leave of absence, figure it out. Stephanie seems to be under the impression that I belong on SSV Hamburg."

"You might," Kamilah smiled trying to try some new cheeses, this time settling on a piece of _trugole_. "You risked your life as much as everyone to get that spaceport sealed, the Alliance can use you."

"But do I want it to?" Josh came back with a quick response, "can we switch the topic? I don't want to talk about this right now. When are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow," Kamilah tried to smile as she shifted on the couch.

"Let's go for a walk then," Josh got up decisively, grabbing Kamilah's hand and pulling her after him, "might as well."

She laughed but followed. For the next couple hours they talked about almost everything and nothing at the same time. They simply just talked, finding the most random topics for conversation. They laughed and pouted, switching from happy to sad stories. Josh held her hand lightly, but only as a friend, and she smiled at him while he tried to figure out if there was anything more behind that smile, but every time he did, Tanya's voice popped into his head. He still loved her, even though she was dead he still loved her.

After about three hours they've made their way back to Kamilah's place where they bid each other farewell, both making a promise to keep in touch by email. Kamilah gave him one last hug and watched him go out of her doorway. Part of her wanted to leave her house and chase after him, but the other part, the more rational part realized that Josh was doing what he needed to do. He needed to not only rediscover himself, but make peace with all that happened.

When he made his way home, Sarah was sitting on the couch watching the news, enjoying the remainder of the cheese and wine.

"Don't you know the manners of letting someone know when you leave and when you'll be back," she said in a jokingly-accusing manner, "you had me all worried there."

"Sorry 'mom,'" he came right back falling onto the couch and giving Sarah big bear hug, almost making her spill the wine.

"Careful there," she pushed herself away, saving the precious liquid. "Shepard called."

"What did she want?"

"She wanted to know if you changed your mind," Sarah said, turning off the TV and turning to her brother, "about that Hamburg thing. See I never understood why we named the carriers after cities, wouldn't it be easier to name them after something more famous?"

"I don't know sis," Josh smiled, "and I don't know for the second answer either."

"Do you still think you will go through with the leave of absence thing," Sarah never looked at him accusingly, she never implied to, but it just happened, sometimes easier than the other.

"I think so," Josh picked up his own glass of wine, "I think it's the best thing to do. It's just I need time, I need time for me. I lost too much, I can't just go right back to it like nothing happened."

"I know brother," Sarah came up to him and wrapped her hands around his shoulders, "I know."

For the rest of the night, they just sat there on the couch, in each other's arms. Josh felt very small in his sister's arms, almost miniscule, even though he was almost twice her size by build. Even though they were sitting there, he never once looked Sarah in the eyes, mostly because he couldn't figure out what he would say. Confusion was all around him, and pain, the distant pain he was trying to push back so hard just wouldn't recede and kept crawling into his heart.


	11. Chapter 10: Chasing the Elusive

Disclaimer: Obviously all of the game characters, places etc. are creative property of BioWare.

**A little about the part coming up: **As to those familiar with the Mass Effect timeline, the Blitz happened before the actual events of the game (9 years). Because my story will also take place during the game events there is a time skip. Now I understand those are usually quite the cheap parlour tricks that get lots of story squeezed into little space, however, because I have so much planned for the stuff coming up, it is a necessity in this case. So, please, bear with this section.

**Chapter 10**

**Chasing the Elusive**

_I have always fought for ideas - until I learned that it isn't ideas but grief, struggle, and flashes of vision which enlighten._

_Margaret Anderson_

2183 CE

Nine years.

Josh was staring out of the transport window as it approached its final destination. The stars felt so bright and alive, he felt as if he was lost in them. He always wondered during travel, how many planets he could possibly visit in his life time, and every time, the sheer vast numbers of the systems and galaxies always turned such 'creative thinking' down.

Nine years.

After Elysium Josh took a leave of absence, never returning to full duty. He did not give the Alliance military a single warning, he simply disappeared. After the Blitz, he couldn't bring himself to go with the military life, the life to which he lost too much. He wondered what he could have become if he stayed, and his answers always led him nowhere and everywhere at the same time. Perhaps it was for the best that he was here now, on his own, searching for his own things.

He never did forget Tanya, and still carried her locket with him. She was the closest thing he had to a 'significant other,' he loved her and she loved him. Part of him tried to play it down, tell him it was just an infatuation of a relationship reaching its prime, but he never let those thoughts linger in his head for too long, they were just not true.

The Alliance investigation, with the permission of the Citadel council went after those they thought responsible, culminating in an assault on one of Torfan's moons. Even so, the 'leaders' of the Skyllian Blitz were not found, nor they would be Josh knew. Alliance has let him down yet again, not finishing another mission, dedicating itself to too many fronts instead of focusing on a few. And now they were actively pushing to join the council with that slime bag, Ambassador Udina.

Nine years.

He barely knew what happened to Shepard, only heard that she was instrumental in the assault on Torfan. The Alliance brass thought someone who took part in the Blitz should be the one to lead responding assault. That and the fact that Shepard was a N7 made her a premiere candidate. Josh heard that they succeeded, wiping out most of the crime bases on the moon, and even though Shepard lost a dozen men, she nearly gave her life to save the rest. Somehow that didn't surprise him.

He had heard rumblings about her being reassigned to the new Alliance frigate, he couldn't remember the name, and becoming an XO under Captain Anderson, one of the most decorated Alliance soldiers. Josh thought that was a match made in heaven, two soldiers bound by their duty and responsibility more than by anything else. While he has been sailing the Galaxy, Shepard has been making advances for herself as well.

Nine years.

Kamilah decided to stay on Eden Prime, despite the fact that her nearly spotless service record offered greater opportunities. She still kept writing to him and whenever Josh had access to the extranet he wrote back. She was the only person outside of Sarah whom he made an effort to stay in contact with, everyone else fell off his horizons.

Kamilah was now married to one of the scientists and a proud parent to a six year old daughter, probably one of the factors contributing to her remaining on Eden Prime, she always sent pictures too. Josh was genuinely happy for her. She always searched for happiness somewhere where it could not be found, he knew that first hand, and now she found it in a place she probably least expected. Every letter still invited him to come for a visit, and every reply he promised that he would, but he never did.

Nine years.

Josh felt the space transport rumble and checked his equipment. His pistol cradled safely on his hip, concealed by a makeshift holster. Not that anyone on the ship cared, but he still felt safer not exposing his pistol, may not go over well with some of the passengers.

He spent nine years searching for something, something that was always there right in front of him, but never within reach. He chased it for such a long time he lost track of why he was doing it in the first place. To many it seemed a pointless endeavour, but to Josh it has become the purpose of his life. He needed to find it, he needed to be at peace with himself, finally, after nine long years he needed to let go.

Information was a valuable commodity, and with having money came having information. Josh travelled all across Citadel Space searching discretely for any leads as to who was really behind the Skyllian Blitz, he has dealt with every information dealer short of the Shadow Broker. He even took on mercenary jobs to be able to afford further batches of information, yet they brought him nothing. On this day, he was just as lost as nine years ago, looking for answers where he could find none. But if there was anything to find it would be here, it couldn't be anywhere else but here, on Omega.

All species had their own name for this place, usually it referred to something dark, something secretive. To Asari it served as the 'heart of evil', to the Salarians it was a 'place of secrets,' 'the world without law' to the Turians, and the Krogan saw it simply as the 'land of opportunity.' Josh was hoping the hollowed out asteroid could be the latter for him. In all of his search he avoided coming to Omega, he didn't want to, and he hoped he could find answers elsewhere, yet after nine long years, his search brought him to the only place that knew the answers to his questions.

The ship touched down slightly after Josh was done checking his equipment and making sure everything was properly in place and ready. He picked up his bag and headed through the small dirty corridors of the transport vessel towards the outside.

Omega was a hollowed out and depleted asteroid that served as a home to opportunists with flexible morals from most races. Josh decided he liked it, at least for that fact. It showed that everyone was the same beneath the different set of biological features. Every species had their scumbags and criminals, none of them were perfect, and Omega was a testament. It did not discriminate between Turian or Asari, or Human and Krogan, everyone was one and the same here, looking for a quick buck.

Josh felt his pistol holstered at his foot and made sure his armour shields were up and running, just in case. His small sack hung over his shoulder, the free hand clutching at the single strap. On Omega, if one did not stay aware of everything that was going on around them, one could lose his life or his wallet or more often than not, both at the same time.

The 'land of opportunity' did not spot amazing Asari architecture or the systematic, warlike building arrangement of the Turians, it had a chaotic style of its own. The buildings were put together mostly from scrap metals and ship hulls, standing straight, yet menacing with the fact that they may fall apart at any moment. The small streets weaved through the whole city like a bazaar, ever step littered with traders and shopkeepers offering their goods or other various services.

The tallest building was probably about five floors up, standing in the midst of everything else much smaller than it. Even the grand structure seemed to be on its last leg, holding on for dear life. The rusting metal gained a distinct yellowish tint to it, and shed rusty red particles. Most of the buildings were various shops, bars, and hotels, not that anyone ever stayed in one though. There was very little incentive for anyone to stay on Omega for too long, and even most of the traders lived a nomadic way of life travelling through space in search of good that were easy to steal, only then returning to the hollow asteroid.

_The Fortune's Favour_ was always open, although Josh wondered whether or not anyone ever got fortunate in there. He made sure that his small backpack was safely with him and made his way through the rusty metal doors, that let him in with a clean squeak. With sure steps he made his way to the first open table and took a seat. His eyes moved frantically around the room, taking in the atmosphere, not stopping on anyone for longer than a second, trying not to catch a fight.

There were a few species represented at the Den. A couple humans were involved in a card game in the corner, shunning the rest of the room. A few Salarian's scrambled around the room, but mostly sticking to their groups. Turian's were slightly more solitary, yet their proximity to each other told Josh they were constantly watching each other's backs. They probably weren't working together, but on Omega the species looked out for each other, sort of an unspoken camaraderie that made everyone feel safer. Everyone except for the Krogan.

Outside of the lone Asari who wasn't a server, Krogan's were the most solitary group in the Den. Most of them preferred to sit on their own, or in a group of other species. On this given day there were three, positioned as far from each other as possible. Josh understood such rivalries, after all Krogan mercenaries were the most sought after, and that bred completion. Most of the Krogan preferred not to deal with their own kind, often preferring co-operating with other species, mostly for the share of the glory, Josh thought.

There was one particular Krogan that Josh allowed his gaze to pause for too long on, mostly because he looked the most menacing. His red battle suit was scratched up and looked to have seen better days. He had a series of deep scars on the right side of his face extending onto his hard red crest. The reptile creature noticed the glance and matched its tenacity for one second until Josh turned around, just in time to meet the Asari server.

This girl was young, even by Asari standards. Her slim body was dressed in rags, with holes, no doubt evidence of her encounters with some of the rowdier of the Den's visitors. Her smile shined though. The server girl's eyes radiated with innocence and it really seemed like she was pained by having to be here.

"What would you like sir," she said in a nice enough tone.

"Two of the strongest drink you have," Josh said, putting hard credits on the table.

Ever since the credit been adopted as a universal monetary unit, most of the transactions have become digitized to simplify the process, however on Omega, they remained the same – 'old school.' Most of the shop owners and bar keeps here lived their lives by the 'ask no questions hear no lies' principles and that made transactions so much easier, they never cared how you came by your money, as long as you had it.

Josh's hand went up to his thick beard, brushing through it a few times. He had not shaved in weeks, and perhaps now was the time, but he liked his grisly beard, besides the five o'clock shadow was too overrated. He ran his hand through his thick hair too, getting caught a few times as the long strands got tangled. It was now tied behind him in a small ponytail. Most of the men now preferred short, buzz cuts, but Josh went all out to give himself the 'unkempt' look.

The waitress came back quickly, setting two glasses of the same green liquid before him. The moment he saw it, his nostrils flared up, refusing to let in the stench. It seemed like that thick, dark green liquid was boiling, yet the glass felt cold to touch. The thickness of the drink made it seem more like a jell type shot than anything else, but this was a full glass. Josh held his breath, afraid to faint and took the first glass, downing it in one shot.

To say that the drink tasted as foul as it looked would be a gross understatement. Josh felt his stomach quiver up into a small ball as the liquid went down his throat. Without further hesitation, and not giving himself time to rethink the decision he grabbed the second glass and its contents quickly followed.

Josh wanted nothing more but to puke, his hands instinctively clutched around his stomach. His body bent over and he found his forehead uncomfortably close to the tabletop. The vision blurred, and everything seemed to melt into everything else around him, Josh felt slightly lost for what was going on. Sounds became incredibly distant, and his vision could not register too much between distinct objects. He felt sick.

Out of the corner of his ear he heard heavy footsteps, like battle suit boots hitting the floor or something, but Josh couldn't quite figure out where the sound was coming from. He tried to shake himself out of his intoxication, but rapid movements only made it worse. He felt like everyone would be staring at him by now, but he couldn't exactly see them. A dark, large shade sat down across from him.

"Sweetheart," he heard a deep Krogan baritone through the haze, "give me a _battlemaster_, and bring around a _temptress_ for my fellow human over here."

The Asari server muttered something Josh couldn't comprehend and her form disappeared into the blur that was the rest of the Den. He could hear the Krogan's deep breaths across the table, yet he couldn't quite make out the lizard's form. Josh closed his eyes for a second, trying to focus and slow down his heart beat. His hand was searching frantically under the table, there had to be one garbage can around here somewhere.

As he found it, Josh instinctively pulled it up onto his lap. His other hand went inside his pocket, finding a bottle of water. After the cap was unscrewed Josh grabbed salt, or at least what he hoped was salt from the table and shook it into the water aggressively. After about thirty seconds he threw away the saltshaker and down the whole mixture in one big gulp. Only then did his stomach let go.

When he looked up, a light blue drink stood before him, right next to another glass of the green vile liquid. Josh slowly moved the garbage can back to the floor and looked across the table. His 'visitor,' if he could call him that, was the same Krogan with the scars on the right side of his face and the battle tested armour.

"Two battlemasters in a matter of a minute," the Krogan said in his deep voice, almost sounding amused, "for a human you sure have quite the stomach on you."

"I'm flattered," Josh said trying the _temptress_. It was a light Asari cocktail, for some reason reminding him of earth's mead mixed with vine. Although the combination didn't sound good in theory, it tasted quite nicely in his mouth.

"I've got a proposition for you human," the reptilian cut straight to the chase, taking down half of his _battlemaster_ as he spoke. "You seem to be an adequate specimen."

"Once again," Josh tried to not be intimidated, "I'm flattered."

"Don't be."

"What makes you think I am here looking for propositions," Josh regained some of his composure, which was a difficult feat, considering he still felt chunks of his vomit inside his mouth with a bitter aftertaste to boot.

"People don't come here to socialize," the Krogan smirked, or at least what Josh considered to be a Krogan smirking, "and you seem qualified enough that you just drank two of the hardest drink in Citadel space and you're still standing. Well," the Krogan paused with a sweet little chuckle, "that and the Alliance issue pistol hanging at your side."

Josh leaned in a little closer, trying to obstruct the Krogan's view as he readjusted his holster to conceal it a bit more. His Alliance training told him he was quite discrete, but obviously others at the Den have proven him otherwise.

"What's the catch?" Josh asked, trying not to sound intrigued by Krogan's perceptions and insight.

"There is none," the reptilian enjoyed more of his drink, "I just need a partner on the job I am about to pull. I can't quite do it alone, so I'm here looking for a someone at least half capable. Unfortunately, most of these loser do nothing but run their mouth until it runs them into trouble, they know nothing of real jobs. You look trained enough, besides you have the look of man who is searching for something."

"I doubt you have what I'm searching for," Josh tried to play his intimidation off, act like he wasn't scared of a massive killing machine sitting right across from him.

"It's a large universe," the Krogan stretched his lips, perhaps he was smiling, but he had the limitations of his face to blame for it not showing.

"I'll take half of what you're offering," Josh said in a semi-concerned manner, "as it happens I may need something else."

"And other say the human's can't negotiate," the Krogan smiled, leaning backwards and finishing the rest of his drink.

"I'll need some information," Josh went on, "anything you have about the Blitz, who was involved, what happened."

"I'm a Krogan," his tone was still.

"And I'm not for hire," Josh leaned back himself, enjoying the remainder of his Asari drink.

"You better be half as good at shooting a gun as you are at, how do you human's say it," he paused for a second, "shooting off your lips, is that it?"

"You can't expect me to agree to any job from the first Krogan that approaches me," Josh smiled, "I don't know if you're noticed, but there are a couple of you in here."

"Thresher Maw food," the reptilian waved the other two Krogan off, "nothing more. So do we have, what do you call this again, a verbal contract?"

Josh hesitated for a second. He didn't know what he was getting himself into and this could have just as easily been a set up, to get him killed. Plenty of the species hated Humans, both for their arrogance and the rapid rise in the Citadel Space political circles. This could be one act of misguided revenge. On the other hand, he had nothing too loose, and this Krogan's offer has been quite interesting, perhaps he even knew something about the Blitz.

The circumstances surprised Josh not one bit. Places like this on Omega often served host to such exchanges and hirings. Many mercenaries did not enjoy wasting time, because often time equalled money. They picked up the most skilled people they saw and took a blind shot in the dark, just like both Josh and the Krogan were doing right now. The reptilian placed a piece of paper on the table, with some coordinates scribbled on them.

"Here are some credits," the Krogan dropped a few credits on the table, "as your advance, replace that Alliance piece of shit pistol you have with something better. Oh, and don't go to the first store you see, search for Borlop's Trade & Save, he'll have some better equipment for you. Tell him Wrex sent you."

MExMExMExME

For the next couple hours Josh wondered around Omega without any sense of purpose. He allowed the time to fully clean his system from the _battlemaster_, but he still felt like there was a Krogan breeding ritual inside his intestines. His vision came back fully, and so did his senses, but the rest of him felt a step too slow, perhaps even a step behind. Josh grabbed a bottle whisky from the first Human vendor he came buy, drying it within half an hour.

He hoped to find some sort of answer without Wrex's help, listening in, eavesdropping on conversations around him. He caught nothing more than a few bragging matches between some mercenaries who had too high opinions about themselves. The resigned soldier could do nothing more but wonder around the bazaars and slums of Omega until the needed time.

He found Borlop's Trade & Save with no problem, even though it was quite neatly tucked away between two more shops, and slightly behind the corner. This was as good a spot for an ambush as any other, as mostly lost wonderers ended up here. Tucked behind a high metal fence a small shop stood. There was an elaborate painting of a shotgun besides the letterings that Josh couldn't comprehend, but assumed were Volus. The shopkeeper indeed was.

Without any hesitation after Wrex's name was mentioned, the small, chubby Volus made his way into what Josh assumed was a back room and rolled out a cart of various weapons, and even two sets of human body suits.

Josh picked out the Assassin Light Armor III from Elkoss Combine, coupled with their Edge II Pistol and Scimitar III shotgun, preferring not to take a risk with a new omni-tool. After all, he kept his Alliance issue one in good enough shape, and didn't use it often enough to wear it out. After the weapons were bought and paid four, Josh moved in a little less relaxed manner, feeling a little bit more armoured, but slightly more in a hurry. It was time to find the mysterious Krogan and see what this job was about.

The place where Wrex told Josh to meet him was slightly further away from the main cluster of shops and cantinas that littered most of Omega. The set of warehouses and crates littered the surface. Some were old and some were slightly more recent. It was easy to pick out which one of the crates or warehouses that belonged to someone important, those were more heavily guarded than many of Alliance or Citadel special transits.

Josh felt the eyes on him as he made his way through the twisted lanes into the dark storage alleys. There was not a single soul in sight, but the feeling of being watched pursued him. He tried to measure his steps and display confidence, every shadow was alive and stalling or showing weakness would get you killed.

He gave two loud knocks on the rusty red door. For the first few seconds nothing happened, then he heard a muffled grunt followed by heavy footsteps. The door budged twice, barely an inch, scraping against its hinges. On the third tug the door flew backwards and banged into its frame, nearly flying off it.

"You've made it," Wrex's deep baritone sounded just a hint too tired.

Josh followed the Krogan into the warehouse, looking around as he made his way in. It was nearly empty except for a few hard issues of furniture. A beat down sofa and two chairs decorated the middle of a moderately small space. There were also two crates standing closer to the wall. Upon further examination Josh discovered that there was a Katana V shotgun in one of them. The other served host to about two dozen distance activated grenades, the last one contained three biotic amplifiers.

The reptilian made his way to the amplifier crate and looked inside. After seconds of deep thought he reached in and tossed one Josh's way. The equipment felt cold and lifeless in his hands, as if it was just delivered from space. Josh made a point to study the thing carefully, mostly to make sure it was appropriate for use by Humans, and safe to boot. It was a Prodigy VIII biotic-amp, from Armali Council. Their amps were considered the best that money could ever buy, and only sold to a select few on their list. The fact that Wrex had one said a lot about one of two things, whom he was working for or his own contacts.

"A little down payment from my client," Wrex said, noticing Josh's hesitation, "I hope you didn't buy an amp from Borlop, you'd just be wasting your money."

Josh paused for a second, trying to study Wrex's face. It was difficult to tell expressions on any Krogan, on Wrex it was nearly impossible. The reptilian's stiff face allowed for very little liberal face movement and flexibility. With Korgans, more often than not, "what you see is what you get," was the most appropriate expression.

"I'd still like to know why you needed me?" Josh tried to sit down onto the couch, but it was too stiff against him. Still he crunched his teeth and took it.

"You may be surprised," Wrex went on to examine the grenades, "but this is not the first time I've hired help on Omega or other low mercenary hang-outs. I've hired some for this mission as a matter of fact. The problem is that most people here are hardly classified to be anything more than an extra disposable shield. When a hard job rolls around I need to go to better places, but luckily enough, you've walked in just in time, with your Alliance pistol swinging at your side.

"I usually don't do this, why split the pot two ways, but this time I need someone to at least make sure my back wasn't too damaged. Besides, you're a biotic, and by the looks of where my missions is going, you've just become a commodity in my books. That, and you work half price."

"I didn't tell you that before you asked me," Josh pointed out cautiously.

"No, I didn't," Wrex did not show any loss of pace in his speech, not at all thrown off. "People who look like you, military ex-personnel, do not come to places like Omega to socialize, they come looking for something, with a purpose. Most of them don't order two _battlemasters_ either, unless of course they have a death wish or tonnes of grief."

_For a big, expressionless pile of muscle he sure has a lot of perspective into a human character,_ Josh thought to himself, not daring to say the words out loud.

"So I capitalized," Wrex went on, "I offer you a job, you assume I can help you and we have a what you humans would call a verbal agreement."

"You don't make such," Josh said curiously.

"We sign ours in blood," Wrex tried to grin, or perhaps he did, "usually."

"Can I at least know what we're doing, and where we're doing it?" Josh leaned back, trying to make himself comfortable on a stiff couch in futility. "If a Krogan Battle Master admits he needs help, it must be something out of the ordinary."

"Hmph," Wrex moved on to examining his shotgun in the last crate, "you're quite the inquisitive mind. But I never keep secrets, unless paid too. We... I am working on the request of the Shadow Broker. Apparently, a competitive Asari diplomat could not tolerate being second in the game of selling secrets, or so I've heard, and now her fate has been decided for her."

"How poetic," Josh said, fondling with his bio-amp now, tuning it for future action.

"That's what I said," Wrex coughed, or was that a laugh, "anyways. Besides her own _diplomatic_ endeavours, the said Asari also prefers to have her hands full of illegal trade in the Terminus Systems. Red sand, guns, amps, slaves, that kind of thing, ask no questions, hear no lies."

"Seems simple enough," Josh heard a few familiar beeps coming from the amplifier, "so why do you need me."

"Her main base of operation is not in the Traverse," Wrex said, pulling up a small set of schematics on a handy computer, "she is in the Horse Head Nebula's Fortuna System, right here on Amaranthine," Wrex was pointing out the locations on the hologram as they appeared. "While she doesn't leave Thessia too often, when she does, our diplomat friend travels with a cartel of three Asari commandoes, and more importantly, an off the books body guard."

Wrex paused for a second, as if to moisten up his throat. With little knowledge of the reptilian biology, Josh couldn't assume that it was exactly what his "_partner_" was doing. To him it seemed as a necessary pause before saying something, ironically enough Josh knew what Wrex was going to say before it was said.

"A personal _Krogan_ bodyguard," the reptilian finished.

Josh thought there was a hint of sadness in Wrex's voice, but couldn't be sure. After the genophage, most of the Krogan collective lifestyle become rare. The warrior race resorted to what they knew best – fighting. Without any guarantees for continuation of clans or even collective survival the priority of every member of the species has become extremely self-centered. Krogan hired themselves out to the highest bidder, watching out for no one but themselves.

Even so, Josh suspected that many of them held a grudge, or at least a definite aggression towards other species, especially Turians. Even so, there was never a collective unit, and the best Krogan went to the highest bidder.

Josh always wondered, especially back in Galactic History classes, how he would feel if he was the one to witness his species withering and dying, slowly, inadvertently. He supposed that humans would band together, perhaps try and come up with collective solutions, or perhaps they would do what Krogans did and abandon any hopes of the future.

"I have no problem killing a Krogan," Wrex must have noticed Josh drifting off, "I just can't handle a Krogan _and_ three Asari commandoes at once. They will definitely be together," Wrex clicked a few more commands and a schematics for what looked like a base came up, _no doubt supplied by the Shadow Broker_, "there is a back door. Once the other mercenaries I hired attack through the front, and most likely get slaughtered, that will alert our target, and she will try to move. She will not stay and risk her career for this, any image of her can pose the most incriminating evidence. Most definitely they will make their way for the back entrance, because they think no one knows about it."

_But the Shadow Broker did_.

"I don't want any pay," Josh said in all seriousness.

It was Wrex's turn to stand there, staring for a second, "what's the catch?"

"I want to meet with the Shadow Broker, or at least his agent," Josh said, never letting go of his demeanour, "or one of his agents, all I want is some information."

"If you make it through this," Wrex said, "and I deem it to be a prudent move, it can be arranged when I pick up the rest of the payments."

Josh nodded and Wrex shut down the holographic projection of the schematics, putting the room into the dark, except for the two dim yellow lights coming from the bottom of the crates. Josh tried to stretch out on the couch, but it was no more comfortable than trying to sit in it. He could hear Wrex's heavy footsteps heading somewhere closer too the wall, and then all of his mass lowering onto the floor.

"You would kill another Krogan," Josh asked, more cautiously than before.

"Without a second thought," Wrex answered as soon as the question came, "if he stood between me and my credits. Look, Krogan need to hold together and try and find the solution for the genophage, that much is clear, but while the majority of us are unwilling to do so, and are perfectly fine living out the rest of our days in constant conflict, most of us without a home, out for higher to the highest bidder like a bunch of slimy consorts, I will call what I do survival. I have no problem killing Krogan's as long as they do not see that they are not helping our species any more than I am. Until we get our shit together, as you human's like to say, and start working as a collective species, we will remain free agents..."

"And he just happens to be playing for the wrong team," Josh finished, once again surprised of the Krogan's ample capacity for human metaphors.

"Get some rest human," Wrex barked in his normal voice, "we head out not too long from now. If you are to be facing Asari commandoes and a Krogan body guard with me, I at least want you to be awake enough to survive for five minutes, that's all I need."

The room fell into complete silence. Josh closed his eyes and tried not to think of anything at this moment. He felt Tanya's locket, ice cold, against his bare chest, two dog tags around it, protecting it. As if sleeping on the couch apparently made out of steel was not enough, now he had to think about what was coming to him next, about this mission, about _Asari commandoes_. This just got worse and worse. But no one passed up a chance to at least inquire with the Shadow Broker, at least no one who was looking for information.

MExMExMExME

A hard nudge to the ribcage woke Josh right up. It took him a second to allow his eyes to adjust to the light. It took him a second to figure out where he was and another one to clear his head. Waking up without a hangover was an unfamiliar sensation, although trying to remember where he was most definitely was not. Wrex's gigantic form towered over Josh.

"Get up," Wrex said in his familiar voice, "we have a space shuttle to catch."

Josh got up and looked around. There were no more boxes around, and the Krogan had a big bag over his shoulder. His own small sack lie squarely at his feet. Josh grabbed it and threw it over his own shoulder. Wrex nodded and started walking, with the ex-marine following.

They made their way out of the ware house and Wrex slammed the door behind him. Every time he did that it made Josh feel as if the small building would fall apart right in front of him. The strength of his companion surprised him every time, and the sheer size of Wrex was enough to intimidate almost anyone, besides maybe a Thresher Maw.

They made their way towards the space port, or the Omega version of a space port. The Krogan preferred a measured, slow strut to Josh's usual, semi-fast pace when walking through the asteroid. Beside his new companion, Josh did not feel quite as uneasy as he did last night, the need to look over his shoulder and to make sure that no one was nurturing improper intentions was no gone.

Most of the crowd made a way for the Krogan, and many who nursed a deep distrust for humans were now giving Josh less of a glance, seeing him in accompaniment of a Battle Master. There were a few exceptions of course, mostly Krogan, who felt as if there was very little need to step aside, but Wrex never paused for too long to figure out which one of them had the right of passage, he just kept moving.

When they made it to the space port, Josh hung back while Wrex went forward to speak to a Salarian. After about five minutes of incoherent speech, and excessive hand movements by the representative of a smaller species, Wrex came back.

"Just as planned," he said none to concerned, "follow me."

Josh did as he was told. Both him and Wrex made their way to the further hangars where two frigates stood almost side by side. With the edge of his eye, Josh caught a small group loading themselves into one of the frigates. It consisted of a number of Batarian mercenaries, and one or two Turians. He assumed that was the "exposable shields" Wrex was talking about.

Once on board of their own frigate, Josh discovered they were not the only ones. Aside from the two pilots, Quarians, Wrex's frigate packed a dozen human mercs. They eyed Josh suspiciously, probably wondering why he was not part of their group, and he couldn't do anything but ignore their looks and follow Wrex into the main cabins. Once in there, he made sure the door was sealed behind them. Wrex turned and gave Josh and interesting look.

"Batarian's and Human's won't work together," Josh said seriously.

"They don't have to," once again Wrex's lips moved in a way that Josh interpreted as a smile, a sly one at that, "they can kill each other for all I care. I expect them all to die anyways."

Josh studied the Krogan's face, but once again came up with nothing. There was only one thought going through his head now, if the Krogan was so fast to sacrifice most of his lesser "allies," what would happen to Josh if the mission was done. Yet, this one seemed to have at least a trace of loyalty and pride to him.


	12. Chapter 11: In A Jam

Disclaimer: Obviously all of the game characters, places etc. are creative property of BioWare.

**A quick side note: **I recently got a PM and wanted to clear something up. For those who actually did delve into the Mass Effect universe deep and hard, someone pointed out that that there was a slight difference between the codex and game interpretation of one aspect of Elysium than presented by me. For those who don't know what it is I will not say it, but for those who do and felt frustrated by the change (at least enough to let me know) keep reading and you'll see.

BETA READER: AblatedCrayon [To your last note, it was actually intended to take place where you're at, I realize it's a bit frustrating to add quirks to stuff we saw in the game, but remember it's not a complete fanfic so all the questions will be answered]

**Chapter 11**

**In a Jam**

_The difference between the possible and the impossible lies in a man's determination._

_Tommy Lasorda_

The ship was old, much older than the usual Alliance transports, but not too far behind the ones Josh used for his recent travels. Even so, he could hear the FTL drive rumbling and even felt the hull of the ship shaking. He tried to ignore it, but a small part of him was convinced the ship would fall apart any minute. Still, judging from the way Wrex was relaxed, the ship was tested, and by the look of it, more than once. Besides that, having a quarian pilot during space voyages was one of the best insurance policies one could have.

Josh tried to convince himself that it was the instability of the ship that caused him to lose sleep, but he was never a good liar. His throat felt dry, and he realized that he had not had a single drop of any kind of liquor in two days now. He refused to count the _battlemaster_ as one; that was something else, nothing a sane person should ever put inside their body.

After a few hours of simply trying to fall asleep, Josh decided to take matters into his own hands. He slowly moved his body to sit upright on his bunk. He sat there for just a second, regaining the feeling in his limbs from the numbness of poor circulation. His head was spinning slightly, but that could be due to the fact that the ship hit a few tough spots during the voyage and began to shake violently for a few seconds. Josh held to the bunk's sides hard enough for his knuckles to go white.

After that was done, Josh pushed himself off the bed and looked around. He found his weapons first before heading out of the small room he chose as his quarters for the duration of the fight. He quickly found the 'mess hall' in the ship, or at least what Alliance soldiers would call a mess hall. The room was full of tables and chairs, most of them too old to be sat upon. The lights were dim, and Josh had to wait for just a few seconds for his vision to readjust in order to be able to see where he was stepping.

The object of interest was a very common-looking rusty fridge almost on the other end of the room. Josh slowly walked towards it, trying to be a little quieter, but not succeeding in preventing the echoes of his footsteps from piercing the air around him. As he got closer, his hand reached out for the handle, sliding it aside to reveal nothing.

Josh stood looking into the empty refrigerator for a few seconds before closing the door. His back turned and pressed up against a cold wall of the 'mess hall.' Slowly his body slumped to the floor, his head now buried in his knees.

"Looking for something like this?" he heard a coarse voice and looked up.

Josh never noticed the lone man who was sitting not too far from the fridge. He was bald-shaven, and his face showed signs of aging. There was a big scar by the man's left lip, and over all his skin it seemed excessively wrinkly. His thin face looked almost hollow around his cheek bones, and his nose was slightly jammed into it; maybe because it was broken, but Josh really couldn't tell, not in the dimly lit room like this. In the man's hand dangled a half full bottle of _Jack Daniels_, at least liquor never changed.

"Something like that," Josh pushed off the wall and swiped the bottle clean from the man's hand.

As the whiskey poured down his throat it burned; it burned him hard. He never found full refuge in the drink, never crawled up in the bottle, but it was something that kept him walking the fine edge of sanity. Something that made him feel both better and worse—the little personal paradox of his existence.

Josh remembered the first time he ever picked up the bottle, the day that he poured an explicit amount of the 'fire water' down his throat. Surprisingly enough it was not immediately after Elysium, like for most of those who survived. Josh persevered, edged out the desire back then, leaned on his friends, on his commanders, on his sister. He pushed through.

Neither did it happen after Kamilah, Shepard, and Sarah left. He felt alone and lost, living an illusion rather than a tangible life. Back then he was just going through the motions, trying to get back in shape, trying to get things in perspective for himself, and liquor never entered that equation. He heard Shepard kick about a few post-traumatic depression joints, and even Kamilah often vented over the e-mails, but Josh stayed surprisingly calm.

He didn't hit the bottle until he went to visit Tanya's grave, the place where she was buried, and her home. For personal reasons he had stood clear of her family, mostly not to have to deal with their grief as well as his own. Tanya's sister, however, sought him out and came to him. They had numerous conversations that trailed off into the night, sharing memories of Tanya. It was at that moment that Josh found refuge in something else than himself.

He saw Katya's face and could not get over how similar it was to her sister's. On some nights it took him several seconds to shake out of the disbelief, grounding himself in reality. Only seeing what he had lost brought him down to the level with everyone else, and then took him even further. He wanted to touch Tanya again, to run his hands through her hair, to hear her whisper something, anything, softly into his ear. Josh took an extended and unpaid leave of absence, which would turn out to be at first indefinite and later permanent.

The fiasco on Torfan didn't help. Surely it was a retaliatory strike at those who caused Alliance and humanity much pain, but they never hit those responsible directly, those who launched the attacks and hit the button. It was at that moment that Josh erased from the back of his mind any remaining desires to go back to the Alliance, even if they took him back, and decided to move on with his life. But like everything else, certain things needed closure, and it was that need that brought him to this very moment, gulping down on Jack Daniels, aboard an old vessel about to help out a krogan mercenary.

"Slow down there," the man's coarse voice interrupted Josh's drinking ritual, "I didn't mean take it all."

Josh handed the bottle to the man and went back to the wall, leaning on it this time, but not quite allowing his body to fall down. He felt the liquor engage with his system, even steady him out a bit. Perhaps now he wouldn't have much trouble going to sleep, not that he had any particular desire to anymore.

"What makes you so special," the man asked, his voice heavily laced with apparent intoxication, "getting to strut around with the krogan like that?"

"I'm relatively sober," Josh was not trying to put forth the cold shoulder, but he felt a slight tinge of irritation seeing someone of his species fall this low. Perhaps that was how Wrex felt about the genophage.

"A funny man, huh?" The man swallowed another mouth full of whiskey. "Real funny. If I was still in my top form I would squash you where you stand."

"I highly doubt that," Josh wanted to end the conversation quickly, before liquor and ambition led to something stupid.

"Oh yeah I would," the man said, his tone indicating that aggression was gone. A case of nostalgia took its place. "In my day, even those snotty Alliance chicks wanted to be with me. One even was, that stupid bitch."

"That's not every nice," Josh's tone was lighter, allowing the incident to disappear into thin air, but he still wasn't too impressed with the man.

"What do you know, huh?" the man stood up straight and pointed his index finger straight down the middle of Josh's chest. "Nothing! Did you ever lose a wife or a daughter to service? That stupid piece of a whore. And then she tells me I'm useless, and I've never amounted to anything. So I said fuck her and left, went out to make my own fortune, by any way possible."

Josh didn't respond, not that anyone was expecting him too. This was one of those peculiar cases of alcohol awakening the long dormant memories—the ones it was meant to suppress in the first place. He never had one of those, but often bore witness. Many men usually spewed on about their life stories and all the grief and misfortune at the slightest instigation, sometimes even without one. It seemed that liquor had the ability to wedge open the flood gates that most human consciences preferred to keep under lock and key, in the deep cellars of their memories. Josh started to shuffle slowly towards the exit, nothing that his conversation partner was already deep lost in one of his own.

Even though the liquor steadied him outs somewhat, Josh was very reluctant to go back to sleep. There couldn't be much longer until their destination and he did not want to be awakened by another shot to his ribcage. With a certain air of determination and confidence to him, he made his way steadily towards the bridge.

The bridge was almost as dimly lit as the mess hall, identifying the ship's age as at least 10-15 years, maybe older. Many mercenaries and other illegal operatives often scrambled with what they could get, either from the copious amounts of galactic junkyards, or taking what they could in raids, so no ship ever saw a loyal owner past its original purpose. This seemed different; it seemed to Josh that Wrex preferred to keep this heap over picking up something more recent. He couldn't decide whether such loyalty to a ship was idiotic or noble.

Wrex was standing alone on the bridge, looking silently ahead of him at nothing in particular. There was an air of concentration. It was as hard as ever to determine what the reptilian was thinking about from his face, and Josh gave up trying. The atmosphere around him felt almost serene, focused. For a second Josh himself forgot to breathe, enthralled by the sheer presence of the krogan.

"Are you ready," Josh heard the krogan ask.

"Probably," he spoke, "don't really like asari commandoes that much. Why did you choose me? I know that must sound like a broken record, but I would like to know with no bullshit this time."

"The Shadow Broker tracked you," Wrex simply replied, without trying to deny anything. "Suggested your profile for this mission, suggested that you may even give up some of the bounty for other 'forms' of payment."

"Simple enough," Josh closed his eyes for a second. Turns out he didn't keep his movements as quiet as he wished. However, the Shadow Broker was (or were) the best at information gathering, and nothing escaped his nets. "Still doesn't make me qualified to deal with the asari commandoes."

If the Shadow Broker knew of him, he must have known of his past, what happened, that would have been one of the worst recommendations to make—unless Josh was not expected to be making the return trip.

"Well, I'll kill them," Wrex said without a moment of hesitation. "If you happen to put a bullet in the krogan's skull, I will not stop you."

Josh allowed his glance to look up at the reptilian at his side, studying his expression yet again, and getting nothing. He felt as if Wrex was not telling him everything about his history with his race, about what he felt truly about their fate, but he didn't want to probe. This was the 'man' who offered him a solution to his own ghosts, or at least a path to one. He was not going to inquire about the other man's pains unless he thought it was necessary.

"We need to unite," Wrex went on, talking as much to himself as to Josh, "we need to realize that there is no solution unless we stay together. It is not my fault that this is all we do; it's in our history, in our genetics, but we need to adopt, evolve, like everyone else did."

"Perhaps your species needs someone to make them see that," Josh reasoned, almost suggestively.

"Not me," Wrex's tone felt a little more offensive, "never got anything good for trying."

Josh felt it wise to leave it there. The krogan were not known for grieving or even sharing what they felt. Throughout Citadel Space, the reptilian race was nothing more than tools, to be used at the expense of those who had the means to hire them. The fact that Wrex told him as much as he had was already troubling Josh, or at least made him question the nature of his 'employer.' He felt it best to focus on the mission and hope that Wrex was half the warrior he suspected him to be, and that he wouldn't put one in the back of his head when they were done to hoard the rewards.

MExMExMExME

The ship had already dropped off the human squad not too far from the base. Wrex instructed the leader of the squad to advance on foot and pick up the speed. Josh watched them trot off into the distance, finding himself caught up in the fact how impartial he was to see those men going to certain death. He simply watched them move on.

The ship flew under the radar for a few more minutes. Wrex did not say a word for that time, simply staying by the edge and looking at the ground below him. The krogan preferred not to close the hatch of the ship, rather allowing the air rush past him. As the frigate passed close to the surface, the reptilian's legs detached from the metal flooring and Wrex leapt down, with Josh following.

It seemed that the krogan was running before they hit the ground. Josh tried hard to keep on, but the krogan trotted over the varying terrain with ease, hopping over hills as if it was nothing. Josh thought he was in good shape up until this point, and probably was, however Wrex was a battle master, raised on a lifetime of battle. Keeping steady breathing was getting hard, and he felt his own heart beat through his temples, small drips of sweat coming down his forehead. The armour felt fairly light, but it got heavier with every step; Wrex, however, paid none of his equipment any notice, simply moving one foot ahead of the other.

Josh has not been to too many planets. His parents preferred to vacation on Earth, using local destinations for their rest. With the Alliance he barely got anywhere past big human colonies such as Elysium. Only after his 'disappearance' did he start seeing other planets. They were always so diverse, so different—some cold, some hot, some humid, some uninhabitable. He thought he has seen it all but every new landing brought a rush of excitement whenever there was no threat of Thresher Maws or other wildlife.

The frozen surface of Amaranthine crunched underneath his feet. It was hard to imagine any wildlife surviving in such cold; even through his suit Josh could feel a chill. At first he worried about the weapons, but even the worst of them were built well enough to withstand such conditions, especially the ones that he bought to replace his Alliance standards. The surface was lit in twilight blues and purples, reflecting off Josh's visor, blinding him slightly but creating a rather calm ambiance all around. It felt almost a shame to ruin it with shooting that was surely to come. A silicate moon was visible up above, and Josh gave it a quick glance before following after Wrex again.

After about ten minutes they reached an artificial formation in the frozen rock. It felt like someone mined a small tunnel under the base, with a small incline downwards. The lights were dim, but artificial sources could be seen slightly further down. Wrex paused for a second, checking his omni-tool.

"Right on time," he said, "The first group should be approaching the base now. Gives us enough time."

Josh tried to nod, but his neck was too cold to bend. He shivered inside his armour, not sure whether or not he would survive the run back. Hopefully, the quarian pilot would come closer for extraction. After all, most of the hostile threats would be eliminated, and there would be no need to avoid detection.

The krogan moved right past the human into the artificial tunnel, Josh quickly following. For the first few steps his eyes were focused on the lights ahead, and as they came closer they came became brighter. He squinted while Wrex simply moved past, putting his giant lizard-like hand on the metal door, feeling the thin crust of ice formed around it. Quickly he activated his omni-tool, banging a few keys on it.

A small panel slid out beside the metal door, lighting up in a dim yellow light. Wrex walked up to it and looked at the data on his omni-tool before keying in a few numbers into the panel. The panel responded to the krogan's touch with a few short beeps before giving out a nice long one. The light blinked twice and switched to green. The door opened, the thin layer of ice cracked, falling to the ground and breaking into miniature pieces at their feet.

_The Shadow Broker's reputation is growing on me by the minute,_ Josh raised his own eyebrow.

Wrex did not turn around to check for the reaction; he simply moved inside the door. Josh followed closely in his footsteps. The door gave another squeal behind them as it slid back into place. The tunnel lights were dim and Josh had to be very careful where he was going. Luckily, the krogan was not overly discrete with his movements. The hard boots of the reptilian's battle armour rang through the hallway, although becoming damped out beyond a short radius.

As they moved the walls displayed a number of niches at alternating distances, just enough to fit one of them. Josh figured these were for cover in case the retreat faced any pursuers. Wrex raised his hand, stopping suddenly in between two of the cover-holes. The hallway felt silent for a second, silent enough for them to hear each other breath. Josh took a few deep breaths, listening to the deep and coarse movement of krogan's chest scraping against his armour suit.

Wrex ducked off to the side, pushing off Josh into the other cover. Josh heard the quiet mechanical sound of a shotgun extending into attack mode. A dim light over Wrex's head created a slightly disturbing glow as the krogan's eyes constantly shifted between the usual violent red and a yellowish tint that looked almost ghostly. Josh pulled out his own pistol, the sound of it unpacking itself making him slightly relaxed.

The next minutes dragged on for hours. Neither Wrex nor Josh said a single thing, the silence engulfing them completely and wholly. After a few minutes, as his ears got used to the silence, Josh could hear the vibrations in the lights, humming over his head and creating a bit of tension. The frontal assault should be well under way by now, and hopefully it was progressing at least semi-successfully.

After a few more dreadful minutes, the lights started to flicker harder and yellow light got replaced with an almost blinding white shine. It took Josh a while to readjust to the sudden brightness of the hallway, and he privately cursed the damn near reflecting walls that amplified the lights. There was no sound yet, and Wrex showed no reaction to the lights, just leaning harder back against the wall. The krogan's shotgun was firmly pressed against his chest, and although his face remained still, Josh felt as if the reptilian was almost serene.

A lone echo of footsteps came from inside the base. Josh felt his hand grip the pistol handle harder as the sound got closer. His back was well against the wall and the scarping of the armour against it made a little grinding sound. As the footsteps amplified an asari shape entered his view. Wrex gave a loud cough, stopping her in her tracks. The asari turned her head to face the krogan, her hand instinctively reaching for a weapon at her hip. Josh blew her brains out from behind as more footsteps were heard from inside the base.

A soft bluish glow covered the krogan's shape as the biotic barrier activated itself. Seconds after, Wrex pushed his back off the wall and turned the corner. His shotgun was ready, the blast going off before the massive shape fully entered the hallway. In response, a barrage of bullets crossed Wrex's body, most of them stopped by either a biotic shield or the kinetic barrier. The reptilian turned back to cover, but a wave of blue energy hit him square in the side, sending him tumbling down.

By the time Josh leaned out, the krogan bodyguard was rushing towards him, covered by automatic fire from the two asari behind him. He quickly threw up a barrier and created a lift, pushing himself, lifting the massive reptilian body into the air. He felt his shoulder burn as a bullet pierced through both the shield and the hardened weave. He jerked and felt his body go stiff and unresponsive, seeing the krogan's shape drop back to the floor.

He had never experienced stasis before, but realized what it was like. What felt like a hard shell around his body prevented him from moving, yet his brained worked perfectly fine. He could see the two asari aiming their guns at him and waiting for the appropriate moment. Josh's muscles tensed as he panicked, attempting to break through the barrier, even though he realized it was all futile. The krogan bodyguard got up himself, recovering his weapon and shooting off a sideways glance in his direction.

As the stasis loosened Josh clenched his eyes, almost ready to let go and disappear. A hard shove pushed him back into cover as he felt one of the bullets graze his shoulder. His head knocked into the wall, sending his perception out of control slightly. With his pistol on the floor Josh pulled out a shotgun.

Wrex was on the floor in front of him, down from the shove he gave the human. A quick reevaluation of the situation told Josh that two asari were temporarily out for a few seconds due to a biotic push, however the krogan adversary was running towards Wrex at an amazing speed, his shotgun on the ready. Reacting instinctually, Josh threw a biotic warp at one of the asari, hoping to disable her, just in time to hear two simultaneous shotgun blasts. Wrex backed away from the force of the blow to his abdominal, but so did the other krogan.

As the two battle master's squared off, the body guard moved before the mercenary, finding his feet quicker. He rushed at his counterpart, the sound of his shotgun cocking ringing through the air. Josh took a deep breath, stepping into the creature's path, his shotgun barrel level with the krogan's head. One loud shot left any wondering about what krogans looked like inside. The slightly goo-like and luminous blood covered the floor before him.

Wrex's massive hand pushed Josh to the ground as he saw two grenades fly over his head. The asari were back in position now, firing consistently. While on the floor, Josh reached for his pistol, grabbing it with both hands and aiming. The first two shots were stopped by the kinetic barrier, and a push caught him before he could fire a third one.

It felt like being caught in a tidal wave, his body fumbling backwards and out of control, unable to resist the force that was pressing it. Josh felt his head hit the metal floor again, but his fingers clutched tight around the pistol. In the haze of the hit, he heard a series of explosions, assuming they were Wrex's grenades. Once the biotic push wore off, Josh found his footing, slightly off balance with his aim. The further side of the hall where the asari were shooting from was covered in smoke now, yet a barrage of bullets was still coming from that direction.

Without any hesitation, he rushed forward against the wall, finding his own strength. A loud roar from the krogan battle master told Josh that something was about to happen. As the smoke cleared, Wrex's gigantic shape was already rushing full speed at one of the asari. Josh pulled a quick stasis over her, all the while firing at the other one to keep her in cover. He could see the radial blue ripples in Wrex's kinetic barriers, but relied on the battle master to make it out alive.

At the final moment before a brute reptilian shape collided with the slender asari one, Josh let go of the biotic stasis. Wrex's eyes flared in the usual violent red as the light green orbs of the asari lost any aesthetic appeal, fear crawling into her. The slender commando disappeared, trampled and run over by a giant warrior, but the momentum took Wrex further. The remaining commando leaned from the corner, taking careful aim.

Josh thought back to his days of pee wee baseball and tugged at the grenade on his belt. The pierced shoulder made the throw a pain, but he still did it. As the asari took aim, she felt a slight tag on her back side, her finger relaxing off the trigger momentarily. That was all Josh needed to press the remote grenade detonator. Another cloud of smoke filled the halls.

With his gun on the ready, and slightly favouring his left foot Josh made his way forward, left side dragging on the wall. He stopped in his tracks, seeing a familiar shape sliding on the floor towards him tumbling, helpless, and out of control. Josh made a move to avoid it, and immediately felt a force pulling at him, tearing at him, removing his control. A biotic Alliance soldier did not need an explanation of what it felt like to be affected by a biotic singularity – helpless.

A slender asari shape, this one not dressed in an armour suit but rather favouring maroon dress, with a shallow cut around the chest, walked out of the shadow of the smoke. She moved confidently towards Josh, her smile multiplying by the second. With the side of his eye, the ex-Alliance soldier saw Wrex's body wiggle slightly, the krogan's hand slowly clutching for his pistol at the hip.

As the asari got closer, she began to speak, "I knew that coward would send someone after all. I expected a krogan, but I never expected a human. Even the Shadow Broker should know not to trust your kind too easily."

"I just needed some cash," Josh tried to gain control over his body, the singularity constraining him even harder, leaving him helpless, "hired by the krogan. Couldn't give a fuck about the Shadow Broker."

"Trying to save your life is useless," the asari gave a wicked grin. "It is already quite forfit."

Wrex twitched again, this time inching himself closer to the asari, using only one hand.

"Everyone begs differently," the asari mused, as much to herself as too Josh, "but they all die all the same."

The krogan moved faster than Josh expected anyone of that size to be able to. Wrex's giant mass leapt up to his feet, his one hand grabbing the diplomat around her neck while the other putting a pistol to her temple. Wrex gave a coarse laughter of satisfaction that could have as easily been mistaken for a grunt of pain.

"The Shadow Broker says hello," Wrex's deep baritone rung in the asari's ear.

"It's a shame I won't get to say it back," the asari released the singularity, allowing Josh to regain control over his body. Her hand shot down, tapping at something at her hip. A muffled explosion rung deeper inside the hallways.

Wrex's finger pressed the trigger as soon as the first explosion cleared the sound barrier. The asari diplomat's pretty face was no more, and what remained of it was splattered on the tunnel walls. Just as her body graciously slid down to the floor, the first flicker of the explosions made its way down the hallway. Josh scrambled up to his feet while Wrex took a picture with his omni-tool. In seconds both were running.

The excruciating heat at their backs did not allow them to stop for just one second, but neither of them wanted to. Josh felt the pressure on his injured leg as well as the burning sensation in his shoulder, both amplified by what was behind him. As the door came into view, Wrex tossed three of his grenades at once, activating the detonation as soon as they touched the cold steel. The door blew outwards, creating a small opening, still not sufficient enough for either off them.

The battle master's gargantuan shape slammed into the opening, the hole letting half of his body through, the other half still on the other side. Josh did not allow himself too much of a delay, putting all of his force behind Wrex and giving his body a small push forwards as well. The explosion was the final factor. He felt his back burning up and his suit heating up over the unacceptable temperatures, but then he felt nothing but cold.

Wrex's coarse laugh echoed through the surface seconds after. The krogan was lying in the ice, a few meters away from Josh, his face inside a snowbank. The reptilian got himself up and turned. There was nothing but black smoke and fire coming out of what used to be a base. With one quick motion, Wrex swept Josh up as well.

"You're not half bad human," he said after he was done laughing, "you're not half bad."


	13. Chapter 12: Exhausting the Channels

Disclaimer: Obviously all of the game characters, places etc. are creative property of BioWare.

BETA READER: AblatedCrayon [As for the quotes, there is site called , my friend wanted to show me a quote from there, and I decided to put one in as my stories progressed.

**Chapter 11**

**Exhausting the Channels**

_I find that a great part of the information I have was acquired by looking up something and finding something else on the way._

_Franklin P. Adams_

Josh found himself wondering around the now-empty ship as if in the haze. Every Alliance soldier received basic medical training as a mandatory part of the program. It covered most of the basic fix-up procedures such as stitches and quick slug removal. Unfortunately, such training barely accounted for the conditions Josh was in now.

The ship was near empty, except for the quarian pilots pilots, navigators, and Wrex. The human crew was most likely slain or stranded on the surface; either way, the krogan did not bother to confirm. Because of the short life expectancy for that squad, the vessel was not prepared with proper medical equipment, and Josh had to do with what he salvaged from the other humans' possessions that they left behind. His shoulder still burned and he could feel a slight fever coming in, but hopefully it would pass.

Wrex refused to accept anything or to even look at his wounds. He simply grunted and walked around the ship, shrugging Josh off. The frigate itself felt more like a ghost ship rather than a real vessel. The only thing that reminded Josh that the reptilian was still there was the echo of his footsteps, nothing else.

Josh found himself back in the mess hall, body wobbling as he made his way towards the fridge. His heart beat was slightly higher than usual, and he felt a bit too hot, once again, signs of a fever. As his hand reached and opened the door, he paused momentarily before looking in. _Thankfully_, the other human did not bother to bring the bottle of Jack Daniels with him to the mission, and half a bottle was waiting patiently for its owner, the one who would never return.

Josh swiped the bottle, hands trying to frantically remove the cap. The first quick shot of whisky went straight onto his stitches, burning spreading through his body. The rest went right down his mouth. He felt it spread, and it felt disgusting and amazing at the same time. Deep inside, he was ashamed for succumbing to this, ending up at the bottom of the bottle, but he wasn't, he told himself. This was just temporary; this was to quench the pain for him until he did it himself. That would happen soon too, he was getting closer. Josh took another deep swig of the burning liquid.

"You humans love your alcohol," Josh heard a familiar baritone behind him, "what is it about that vile liquid that makes you so sure your troubles will just disappear?"

Josh turned to face the krogan face on. Wrex looked much better than him, standing full force now and showing no signs that he was just in a battle. His battle armour showed slightly more wear than before, but nothing else. His red eyes burrowed into Josh.

"Some call it a coping mechanism," Josh admitted.

"I've heard that one before," Wrex walked forward, grabbing the bottle from Josh's hand and checking for whatever was left, "also was fond of 'drowning your troubles,' which honestly seems quite inappropriate for the circumstance."

"How so?" Josh tried not to seem distraught over the fact that the last bottle of alcohol on the ship was now in the massive, brutish hands of a battle master.

"Drowning would imply dealing with them, killing them forever," Wrex studied the bottle for another second before crushing it with his hand, glass falling to the floor, the liquid spreading in a thin layer over the metal, "this just puts them out of perspective. Does fuck all else."

Josh felt himself twitch and almost reached for the crushed bottle, but something inside him held the motion back. Perhaps Wrex was right, or perhaps not. What did he know of coping with problems, of losing someone close to him. This was no solution, that much he knew; but this was a delay, something that kept him from putting a bullet into his head. Something that kept Josh Dri sane and functioning.

"What happens now?" Josh was eager to change the topic.

"To who?" Wrex almost looked confused to Josh.

"Well," Josh leaned back, trying to ignore the puddle on the floor, "we did eliminate the asari diplomat. As far as I am familiar with 'the way things work', someone has to move in on her extracurricular activities. Unless the Shadow Broker plans to oversee a micro pirate war."

"He'll probably move someone in," Wrex shrugged, which looked very awkward for a krogan to do, almost lacking shoulders and all that, "he probably already has."

"Then what about us," Josh pressed on, trying to get sense as to what may happen to him now that the job was done.

"I get paid," Wrex said, not really too enthused by the notion. "You get to at the very least meet a Shadow Broker agent. We go our separate ways. You go on with doing whatever it is you were doing, drinking and such, and I go on to the next highest bidder."

"It's that simple?" Josh tried to sound amused.

"I make it that way." Wrex shrugged again. "The biggest gun wins; that's how the galaxy works. The Council may indulge their diplomatic delusions, but deep down they know how it works. Why do you think each race keeps such a big fleet, and why is humanity advancing so quickly in the political and diplomatic circles? You have the guns—therefore you have the leverage."

"Pretty good philosophy to live by," Josh said, a little too quietly and almost to himself, but Wrex still heard him.

"Damn right it is," Wrex said, not even raising his voice. "If you ever find a better one let me know. Until then, make sure your gun is close enough for you to grab at all times. Or someone will put a chemical in your system that will kill any chance you have of reproducing."

Josh fell silent. It all came back to this for Wrex, nothing else. There was no way that a human would ever understand how it is to be a krogan, never in a lifetime. There would never be an understanding for a pain, no similar sensation for anyone else. Same as Josh couldn't feel what Wrex felt, Wrex would never hold the dying form of his loved one close enough to feel her breaths getting weaker and shorter, or feel her blood coating his hands.

Wrex turned and started to walk out of the room. His steps were a little less measured, slightly out of rhythm. Before he left, he turned back. "We arrive soon. Be ready if you actually want to go through with your wish. And wear your armour."

Josh allowed the krogan to leave him alone. As soon as the reptilian left, Josh's eyes went back to the drying puddle of whisky on the floor. A mental image of a desperate alcoholic slurping it off the floor immediately popped into his mind. For some reason that didn't sound too appealing, besides he had to prove to himself that this wasn't a problem, or at least not one that would follow him into the future as he pressed on. Perhaps Wrex was right, or perhaps not. Shrugging, Josh got up to search the sleeping quarters. Perhaps his momentary acquaintance had more than one bottle stashed away somewhere.

MExMExMExME

The rest of the flight went on silently. Wrex found himself among the quarian crew more than with Josh, leaving the human to his own devices. To his own relief, Josh discovered another bottle of whiskey stashed away in the human sleeping quarters—not that they ever got to sleep there. He spent the rest of the flight hugging the bottle, enjoying the quiet time to think through his plan of action.

He remembered coming back to Earth once. One independent reporter claimed to have a large amount of information about the Skyllian Blitz, even so far as to know who was behind it. It took Josh a couple of weeks of bribing and breaking bones just to find the man. Turned out he was nothing more than an overweight extranet blogger who made a living by discussing the event with others, claiming facts he knew to be bogus just to create a discussion. The nut claimed that a human was actually behind the attack.

Josh remembered hitting the man more than once—a number of times, actually. When he snapped out of it, the fat bastard was trembling at his feet, his pants wet. Josh walked away fast, leaving the liar to cower in fear, looking for other sources. Over the years he had come down too many false roads. No one knew what actually happened. Many claimed that batarians were behind this, some maintained the delusional fatty's lie, but Josh quickly dismissed it. No human was so stupid as to attack one of the biggest Alliance colonies. Not for profit—not to bring about the massacre of his own kind.

As it turned out, Wrex's frigate was actually scheduled to land on Camala, a small world administered by a batarian government. There was no way Josh would risk going out in the open there, for quite obvious reasons of tension between humans and batarians. A strong hate fostered between the two ever since the Citadel Council denied the batarian government's motion to make the Skyllian Verge exclusively "batarian territory." Ever since then, the species isolated itself from the Council and the rest of Citadel space, becoming not as much independent as shunned by the rest of the galaxy.

Wrex informed Josh that they would land in a warehouse, a designated meeting spot between him and the Shadow Broker's agent. The quarians landed the frigate with surprising efficiency. Over his short time on the vessel, Josh grew to appreciate the skill of the migrant race. They knew technology better than anyone else; the geth were a clear testament of that. The quarians were the only race that created synthetic life that had the capacity to turn on its masters, perhaps evolve as grouped, symbiotic organism. If those were not technological credentials, Josh didn't know what would be.

Wrex came to get him shortly after the landing, the battle master already fully inside his armour, as if preparing for another battle. He gave Josh five minutes to gather his own stuff and get prepared, which was more than sufficient, considering that Alliance limit was just under 35 seconds. Before leaving his room, Josh took another gulp of the remaining whisky and hid whatever was left under a bed. He didn't want to risk it ending up as another puddle on the floor.

Wrex made his way slowly off the ship onto the warehouse floor, refitted to be a moderate docking bay. Josh followed after. He never had been on Camala and was not eager to explore, yet he was slightly upset that there was no view from the enclosed space they were in. There was only one other creature on the platform, a volus.

Josh had a respect for the species. they were quite instrumental in establishing a solid financial system for Citadel space, and most successful financial schemers always seemed to be volus. Even some of the most important humans chose the small and chubby species as their personal accountants—for a steep fee, of course.

Josh had even more respect for this particular volus. Batarians placed a high emphasis on caste, and ever since their withdrawal from the Citadel they had shunned most of other species—at the very least were hostile towards them. To survive on Camala, this volus must have been fairly crafty and intelligent. Then again, the Shadow Broker probably did not gain his reputation by employing just anyone.

"Wrex," the volus said, the respiratory device's click fairly noticeable with every breath, "I am so happy to see you, as no doubt the Shadow Broker is as well. I take it the job is done?"

"It is," Wrex stood in-between Josh and the Volus, almost eclipsing their view of each other. "Now if you can pay me and _we'll_ be on our way."

Josh twitched at the notion of "we" but decided to ignore the incident. There was no need to argue in front of the volus.

"I will transfer the funds." The volus nodded before looking at Josh. Josh felt as if he was being sized up, but couldn't tell through the atmosphere suit.

"Transfer seventy five percent of the sum into the discussed account, I have no doubt you can calculate how much that is," Wrex threw a small quip at the expense of the chubby accountant. "The rest goes where he tells you."

"And where would that be?" the volus looked straight at Josh now.

"Keep it," Josh said casually, "I would like to ask you a few questions instead."

"That depends on the questions." The volus appeared deep in thought.

Josh snuck a quick glance at Wrex. The reptilian now backed up, and Josh spotted a satisfied smirk. He was surprised at how much more efficient he became at reading the krogan's expressions. He was slightly upset at himself for not asking the krogan how much exactly he was bargaining with. Putting a price tag on the information was always easier when you knew exactly what you had to offer.

"Skyllian Blitz," Josh said, his face still and focused. "Who? And where can I find him?"

"That stale?" the volus appeared to chuckle. "That kind of information is not news anymore, but someone always wants something, and someone will always pay."

"So it's a deal then?" Josh worried belatedly that he had sounded a little bit too hopeful.

"Give me a day," the volus agreed and turned to Wrex.

"We'll be here," Wrex nodded and allowed the small accountant to leave.

When the agent was gone Josh turned to Wrex. "_We?_"

"Would you like me to leave you stranded on a batarian world?" Wrex sounded a little too amused by the idea, "because I really have no problem with that."

"Why don't you as is?"

"Because I am not sure, but you may have saved my life in that altercation with the commandoes and the krogan—maybe even twice." Wrex sounded more like he was joking, but Josh took it anyways. "So take it or leave it. I can leave right now."

Josh didn't say anything but just stared at the krogan. For all of the flack that his race took in the galactic community, perhaps they were more than just a group of honorless thugs. There certainly was a sense of honour and respect to Wrex. Granted he was not in the business where those virtues were a commodity, but the fact that he maintained them spoke volumes about the reptilian. He was something more, something more than many species could ever hope to be, with a dark spot on his own history.

MExMExMExME

The volus came back the very next day as promised, with a data disk in hand. He looked no different from last night except for a little more bounce in his steps.

"Here." He stretched his short arms to give the data disks to Josh. "There are a few locations mapped on there. One of them here on Camala."

"This is all of it?" Josh questioned, studying the data disks.

"There is a big myth around two batarians," the volus explained. "A pirate leader named Thadan, who has quite a reputation in given circles, claims to be the leading role—the main cog, if you will—of the Blitz. Some have tied him to a batarian business man named Chadar. That is only a part of the whole truth, but as you know, the whole truth costs considerable amounts of credits—credits that you have not put forth, so I leave you with this: Chadar did not act on his own accord, he was acting in support of someone else's ambitions. Someone very peculiar and interesting, considering the circumstances."

Josh took it all in, carefully remembering the names. The volus turned away and started to leave, indicating that this exchange was done. Josh hadn't said a word, but he turned and walked back onto the ship. He found Wrex on the bridge, patiently waiting for what was about to happen.

"Got anything?" Wrex spoke, but his tone indicated the unfinished sentence, something like '_got anything useful_,' making it apparent it was not the first time he dealt with the Broker or the volus.

"Something," Josh spoke, sliding the data disk in.

The map blinked a few times and then lit up. A few locations were mapped out that were not there before, with a few digital footnotes present to each one of them, indicating the locations. There was definitely one point on Camala with a "Chadar" foot note, the other one was back on Omega. Wrex grunted and looked at Josh.

"Looks like you'll be leaving me here on Camala after all," Josh turned to the krogan, "seeing how I have no money to hire you what-so-ever."

"Maybe I'll stay." Wrex chuckled.

"We're even," Josh pointed out. "So Why stick around for my sake?"

"Maybe that I still feel I owe you a form of a 'life-debt' deal," Wrex appeared to smile.

"Or..."

"Or I am intrigued by personal vendettas," Wrex full-out laughed in his deep baritone, "and good fighting. There will be some good fighting, will there not?"

"I sure hope so," Josh spoke, turning to go to his place, to reunite with the remainder of his whiskey. He had to get a new bottle soon.

MExMExMExME

Wrex walked through the streets with a certain degree of swagger in his step. He understood that batarians were more than an isolated society. They actively oppressed anyone that was not of their origin, especially on their home worlds. However, the degree at which Wrex felt safe in this caustic environment would be unnatural to anyone else. He brought his confidence with him—not even batarians were stupid enough to attack a krogan.

Chadar Enterprises, as Wrex found out, were once one of the most profitable companies on Camala, prospering and expanding into every corner of every possible financial sector. It used to be joked that Chadar had more power than anyone else on the planet; however, that had all changed. A large fraction of investments and financial assets disappeared right around the time of the Skyllian Blitz.

Wrex did not feel overly enthusiastic about doing the mission for Josh, yet he realized that a human would probably be shot on sight here, or at least watched with a careful eye, and not trusted with so much as the location of the public bathrooms. Besides, he felt a weird kind of association with the human. Perhaps it had something to do with the unspoken respect he received, or maybe it stemmed from how well Josh handled himself in battle. Wrex wouldn't go as far as to say he was impressed, but at the very least he was mildly entertained.

The new building for Chadar Enterprises was in the poorer regions of town and had definitely seen better days. The sign was even missing a letter, and it looked more like a shell company than anything else, which went along right with the information the Shadow Broker had provided. Wrex did not slow down but rather headed towards the two guards by the door. The smaller one, who looked almost like a miniature batarian rather than a full sized specimen, stepped straight in his way with a menacing expression.

"Where do you think you're going, _krogan?_" His four eyes measured Wrex up.

"Inside." Wrex had to look down to be eye to eye, "I'm here on business."

"You don't look it," the batarian pressed on.

Wrex looked at the guard carefully, his scarred eye gleaming with anticipation. He felt a dry tingle at the back of his throat but then realized that it would probably not be the best option. "On a different sort of business."

"Very well," the guard sounded too satisfied with himself for 'holding off' a krogan.

They slowly made their way into the building and through the hallways. All of the walls looked like they were a paint job or six behind schedule, and the offices themselves were claustrophobic. There weren't a lot of employees either—an odd worker here or there. All of them wore a quite dissatisfied expression, except that Wrex couldn't figure if it was with their jobs or their lives.

The little guard frustrated the krogan to no end, almost treating him like a little child. The little creature's hand was always on the reptilian's back, guiding him through the halls, almost by hand. Wrex entertained himself on his walk by thoughts of snapping the pitiful guard's hand in many different places before stomping onto his face, even tried to imagine it vividly, but for the moment he had to avoid taking such actions.

Chadar's office was no different from the rest of the building, poorly decorated and decaying. It seemed like he was not the first or not even the third owner of the office. The batarian himself, though, tried to keep up an illusion of class and respect. Chadar was clothed in the latest Thessian fashions and walked with the demeanour that only men with an explicitly inappropriate amount of money should be allowed to walk with.

"What can I do for you?" he said in a king-like tone.

"Well for starters," Wrex knew exactly how to deal with people who possessed too high an opinion of themselves, "tell your undersized monkey here to take his hand off me—unless of course he doesn't want to keep using it after today."

Wrex glanced down at the guard as did Chadar. For the moment, the little batarian hesitated, but obviously persuaded by Wrex's menacing glance as well as his imposing scars, let go.

"I am here," Wrex didn't seem to be at all bothered by the incident, "because of your little whispering about a need for a qualified mercenary."

"I am supposed to assume you are one such mercenary?" Chadar smirked, trying to test Wrex's ego.

"Just the same as I am to assume that you actually can come up with the credits," Wrex shot it right back.

"Very well," Chadar retreated gracefully. "I must insist, however, that we are not in a position to negotiate about the price. Do you accept the terms?"

"That would include me having to hear the terms." Wrex shifted his weight.

"Not here," Chardar lowered his tone, as if anyone was still interested in his actions. "I have a different spot for such negotiations."

"In that case," Wrex chuckled, "I have a similar spot." The krogan held out a data disk and placed it on the table.

"The great and honourable Chadar—," the miniature guard started to talk.

"Can speak for himself," Wrex cut him off. "You can bring any number of your gorillas if you want." He smiled._ I like a challenge_. "I trust you to be prompt about it, there are other jobs available, with better pay—I just happen to have a personal stake in the matter."

Wrex studied Chadar's amused face for a second before turning and walking towards the door. The small guard placed his hand on the krogan's back again, getting ready to lead him out. Wrex stopped in the doorway, looking down.

"It's a funny thing about the batarian biology," he said in his deep baritone. "It is so fragile and easy to break."

Wrex walked out of the building on his own.

MExMExMExME

Josh was nicely set up behind one of the crates in the warehouse. Wrex chose to stand right in the open, ready to welcome their guest. The human was well hidden, but close enough to be there and hear the conversation. Josh's heart was pounding as he tried to calm himself down. His hands shook slightly. The whiskey had left his system last night, and there was none left for him to get by on. That sensation, coupled with the adrenaline build up, raised both his heart rate and level of unsteadiness to double.

Chadar's convoy appeared at the arranged time, the batarian choosing to bring ten guards with him, including one who looked half the regular size. Wrex stood, unshaken, as they walked straight towards him, the businessman's face levelling with the krogan's.

"As agreed," Wrex spoke first.

The smaller guard set down a small case in front of Wrex. Josh had no idea what would be in there, but he could assume very well. _That bastard snuck some credits in for himself._ Josh almost laughed before he remembered what was at stake here.

"That is the entire advance." Chadar cleared his throat. "I need you to find a human. He is a well-known pirate, I assume you can figure out his real name on your own. He owes me a large sum of money, and he best pay up.,If he comes up with the money when you find him, make his death a slow and painful one."

"Will do," Wrex nodded.

"We are done here," Chadar snapped his hands and was about to turn.

"Did you really need all this entourage just for an exchange of words no longer than a minute?" Wrex mused, more to himself than to the batarian.

"You see," Chadar turned, smirking, "the thing about trust, it's so fragile."

"I hear you there." Wrex gave a quick shake, the shotgun coming out of its holster, and a biotic barrier coming up.

Two quick blasts later and two batarians found themselves bleeding out on the floor. Chadar was running back, with the smaller guard at his heels, whipping out his own shotgun. Josh did not hesitate to shoot now. He ducked from outside his cover, throwing up a stasis field around the batarian businessman, putting most of his energy into it to extend the holding duration. With his next three shots he took down two more guards.

Wrex moved faster and more agile than one would expect his stature to allow him to. With a quick jerk he pulled one of the batarian's up by the throat, using him as a meat shield. When a fairly sized hole appeared in the dead guard's body, Wrex forced his own shotgun one-handed through the fleshy opening and let loose, downing two more guards. He then turned towards the area where the smaller guard was hiding.

Josh fired three more slugs, two piercing the kinetic shield of the only batarian who could get it up in time, third one leaving a miniature opening in his forehead as the body went limp to the floor. The last batarian hesitated for a second, thrown off by the beeping overheat indicator on his weapon. Josh wasted no time. He quickly charged the enemy, pistol across the cheek. His free hand reached for the Alliance knife, the cold blade sliding across the guard's throat, opening it wide. Pistol on the ready, Josh aimed at frozen Chadar. The businessman's body stood frozen, surprisingly so did his eyes – frozen in fear.

Wrex felt a few slugs bounce off his kinetic barriers and down his biotic one as he rushed. With a quick growl, the battle master rushed forward, swiping the box aside that served as cover for the small guard with one push. He then picked up the gimp and rushed forth, smashing the small body against a wall, his hand tightening around the throat. Wrex gave a quick growl as the little guard tried to wiggle away, kick the krogan off him futilely. Josh didn't know how exactly the batarian spine and vertebrae worked, but when he heard a crunch he knew that it was indeed something at least vaguely similar to humans. The creature's legs went limp as Wrex released it to slide to the floor. His eyes were almost glowing red.

The stasis released, but it seemed that Chadar was dropping to his knees even before, the grimace of horror frozen on his face. He crawled towards Josh, the ex-Alliance marine's crosshair still firmly fixed.

"Please," Chadar pleaded, "I have more credits, I will give you anything, just let me live."

"Skyllian Blitz," Josh growled, almost unlike himself, sounding too much like Wrex for his liking.

"It wasn't me," Chadar was getting more frantic in his speech, making it easy for his lies to be identified, "I swear. I didn't even know about it, except from the news. I don't know anyone who did, there is no one. Anyone here on Camala barely followed that."

"It's funny," Wrex was close to them now, wiping his hands, "I've heard a more reputable source state otherwise."

"I swear, it wasn't me," Chadar continued to plead. "I put up the money, sure, but it was not my initiative. There was this human: he told me this would restore glory to the batarians and drive the Alliance out of the Skyllian Verge."

"Lies," Josh growled through his teeth, "we fought nothing but batarians there. No one else!!!"

"It's true." All four of Chadar's eyes were beginning to tear up. "It is. He was never in the actual battle, he just needed me to front the money. He said that his forces would anchor the second assault, that they would come as reinforcements, but they never did. The bastard pocketed half of my money and fled, why do you think I want to hire mercenaries?

"I thought," Chadar was lost to himself now, and he knew it, spewing on and on, "that I would be recognized as the saviour of our people, and it only cost me the investments that I would soon surely double. He made it sound so sweet, so noble. But then he played me."

"Name," Josh growled, "I need a name."

"I wish I knew," Chadar's body was almost limp now from fear, "I wish I did. He used an alias and never came out with who he was. It's him you need. He attacked Elysium, not me. I just gave him the money, I didn't know what he was going to do with it."

"NAME!!!" Josh shouted, his voice echoing through the warehouse.

"I don't know," Chadar was begging, clinging to the last hopes of life, even if he knew he was going to die he tried to talk his way out of this. "Please, you have to believe me, he was always in disguise, used many aliases. Sam Grey, Peter Bennet, Jack Sawyer, Arthur Locke, every time a new name, but I knew it was him, it's him you want, not me... not me."

"You're pathetic," Josh felt quite fed up with the conversation. Two slugs entered the former businessman's body as it sprawled on the floor, bleeding out. Josh felt almost disgusted with himself.

"Omega," Josh looked up at Wrex, "drop me there."

"We get there, and you're on your own," Wrex said plainly. "You can look after yourself on Omega; unlike here."

"Like you cared in the first place." Josh tried to smile, but he was too disturbed by what just happened, what he did. Was he becoming something gruesome? Something more? Was a human really behind the Blitz? Would he find answers now that Chadar was dead?

"Oh, don't say that," Wrex actually sounded amused, "it was mildly entertaining."

MExMExMExME

After dropping Josh back on Omega, Wrex disappeared on his own business, chasing further contracts to acquire more capital. The krogan, however, allowed the human the liberal use of the warehouse, providing Josh with the proper key codes and directions. He also left a quarter of the profit obtained from Chadar at Josh's disposal.

For a second, Josh wondered what spurred Wrex to such uncommon generosity, but preferred not to push the issue. He felt a certain camaraderie with the krogan, and even though their initial meeting was opportunist in nature, he felt as if the reptilian was exhibiting similar affiliations. The krogan placed extreme importance and respect on battle ability, and Josh felt as if he gained some of that from Wrex. The krogan was friendlier than before, if that was at all possible, at his departure.

For the past three days, Josh wondered the Omega slums, migrating from bar to bar, looking for one person. Every night he went home unsuccessful and every morning he woke up with a familiar hang over. The few days of flight from Camala back to Omega were not easy. Without any alcohol Josh went back to his nightmares, all the same, except Chadar's bullet-riddled face was also on the playlist. It seemed as if all his life Josh Dri has done nothing but stockpile and exquisite selection of nightmares. Only the whiskey helped him rid of them, on those nights he saw nothing, he just slept in complete peace.

This particular bar Josh walked into this night stunk of sweat and dirt. The clientele varied from a few krogan to a mix of humans and batarians. Josh looked around carefully, spotting an empty table close to a batarian crowd, heading straight for it. He caught a few glances from the human customers as he walked, mostly puzzled by his choice of direction. He did his best to ignore them and kept moving.

An asari server worked her round and got to his table, giving Josh a questionable look, also not very impressed by his choice of seating. For better or worse she didn't say a thing about it but simply took down his order for a double shot of human scotch and walked away. Josh didn't expect much of any human drink on Omega, but after his unfortunate experience with the battle master, ordering anything else seemed extremely foolish.

It didn't take long for the asari to return with his drinks, as she placed a semi-clean glass on the table. Josh studied the content before taking a deep, indulging gulp. By that time, his presence was already gathering hostile looks from a group of batarians as well as a lone warrior sitting in the corner of the area, all of them glancing at him from over their shoulders. Josh just smirked as he sipped his scotch. It wouldn't take long, he hoped. Places like this on Omega often presented opportunities for incidents to take place, and in this particular situation, he was accelerating the process. Surprisingly it was the lone batarian who spoke up.

"Don't you think you're a little beyond your area?" he asked with disgust apparent in his tone. "Perhaps you should relocate."

Josh turned and looked at the batarian as he was speaking. The larger group of the species were whispering between themselves, obviously pointing at something. Josh just smiled, "Seems to me this spot is good enough."

"You are mistaken then," the batarian got up and walked closer to Josh.

Out of the corner of his eye, Josh caught a glance of the volus owner sneaking peeks their way, obviously distraught at the possibility of a bar fight. If they allowed things to escalate too far, both him and the batarian would end up outside.

"Don't do this Thadan," Josh heard the asari whisper as she passed them by.

The batarian turned away to follow the skinny shape with his eyes, while Josh shifted his body slightly. He had heard all he needed to. The last three days of searching didn't go to waste; he had found the one he was looking for, or so he hoped. A number of leads brought him here, and now, he had heard the name he had been waiting so long to hear.

"Why shouldn't I?" the batarian started to get even louder, "After all, I squashed many of his kind."

"Here we go again," Josh heard a krogan baritone from somewhere, "do you ever get enough of your fairly tales Thadan? The mighty leader of the Blitz. You lost: took critical damage and then ran. You need to shut up."

Thadan turned to face the semi-hostile krogan, but the anger in his eyes died away quickly as he was almost face to face with the reptilian. Thadan may have been drunk but he was not stupid, in any fight, fair or not, the giant of a creature that was standing before him would absolutely destroy him.

"I was instrumental in whatever successes we got," Thadan bit his lip, getting almost defensive. "You can even ask Haliat, he was there, he saw it. It was thanks to _me_ that we discovered where their med-bay was and launched a surface bombardment."

Josh's heart stopped, everything seemed to slow down, come to a standstill. He never hoped he could have gotten this, this was golden, the hidden treasure at the end of his journey. This batarian scum was the one who not only was at the helm, but also pressed the button. The judge, jury, and executioner for his loved ones. Only now it was time to switch roles, and Josh was more than happy to accept the role that was flying into his wide open arms.

"To hell with that." The krogan smirked. "If you ask me, Haliat was the one who was the most instrumental. He instigated the attack, got a bunch of you killed, and when all failed retreated with his fleet fairly unscratched."

"Because he's a coward," the batarian spat out, a bit too hostile.

"It's not cowardice to ensure you live to fight another day," the krogan came right back. "Elanos will die in battle I assure you that, he can just see the way the tides turn. Besides, the whole space 'strategy' shouldn't even be considered a battle. It's just a little game the cowards play before sending the brave ones to the surface to do their bidding."

Both Josh and Thadan watched the reptilian as he turned and walked back to the bar where he quickly dried a glass of a gooey green liquid which Josh could only assume has been the battlemaster drink. Thadan quickly turned back to Josh, a grin on his face replaced by a mix of remorse and sadness. Perhaps the krogan had touched upon something. Josh fingered the handle of his pistol but was hesitant to pull the weapon out. With a quick chug he finished his drink and got up, walking straight past Thadan, and headed for the exit.

"You'd better leave," he heard a faint, nearly silent whisper leaving the batarian's mouth behind him.

MExMExMExME

Josh waited for a long time. He found a nice little niche in one of the walls and sat himself down for the duration. His knuckles went white from the intensity with which he was gripping his pistol, almost as if he was trying to break it altogether. After about two more hours, Thadan finally emerged from the door, swaying as he walked.

The batarian was drunk, and not even the nice kind of drunk, where reality becomes a backdrop and one is able to just exist; he was straight wasted. Reality seemed like a nuisance to Thadan, he tripped over everything, and his body often changed balance, sending itself into a number of walls.

Josh was extremely careful at first, controlling his pace, making sure he wasn't too close or too far. Within minutes that caution disappeared. Thadan was drunk enough that Josh could probably be flying a ship behind him and not be detected. After that there was nothing to worry about but his gun. His hands were eager, and so was he, still gripping the handle and imagining the moment to come, everything was in focus, clear, almost serene. Josh felt like an executioner walking onto his stand, his unsuspecting victim frantically trying to cling to life.

When Thadan finally reached his apartment, he fumbled with the key card, dropping it onto the floor. Instead of going down he just stood there, staring at it and at the door, trying to figure out if it would just magically open. Josh decided to help him out.

The silencer made a whisper of a gunshot. The bullet breaking the knee was much louder. Thadan's body crumbled to the ground, not able to support its own weight. The batarian scrambled backwards, his spine against a garbage container, breath lost in the wave of fear that washed over him. Josh walked out of the shadow slowly. He was in no hurry, and he wanted this to last.

It took Thadan a few seconds to realize what was happening. He first tried to reach for his own weapon, but two quick shots made his hands a non-factor in this predicament. He looked at Josh, mouth moving yet no sound escaping. It was clear that he recognized Josh, but yet there was nothing to say.

Josh felt almost like a scum bag, like an 11th grader picking on everyone who was younger than him, the defenceless. He knew it would be like this, Thadan, even if he was at one point one of the most important batarian' pilots had lost his wits to liquor, and probably certain drugs. There would be no battle. Most people would feel remorse, would feel sorry for doing what Josh was, but not him, not now. Time or not, the creature before him deserved to die, for all the evils it did, for everything that it caused. Josh's weapon hand went up, aiming steadily. Thadan's eyes cried out with fear, creamed forgiveness, and then, just like that, went dead.

Josh knelt before the bloody mess before him, the act of revenge fully complete. Something so elusive finally behind him. He waited for the relief to come, for the pain to go away, but there was nothing. He felt the same, same as before, same as ever. The corpse before him did not give him any closer, did not give him a reasonable conclusion to his life. Josh looked at his pistol, his body slumping against a wall, his hand stuck indecisively between holstering the gun and putting the cold steel of the barrel against his own temple. A few tears fell to the ground, followed by an audible clang of the steel of a dropped weapon hitting concrete.

Thadan's lifeless eyes still stared into nowhere.


	14. Chapter 13: Tabula Rasa

Disclaimer: Obviously all of the game characters, places etc. are creative property of BioWare.

BETA READER: AblatedCrayon

I feel like this a more broken down chapter, with slightly more interruptions in between, but this is more of a transition anyways (well this one and next one) so hopefully that doesn't break the flow too much.

**Chapter 13**

**Tabula Rasa**

_Because things are the way they are, they will not stay the way they are._

_- Bertold Brecht -_

Josh's face felt weird, shaven and clean, but that was one of Sarah's conditions when he came back a week ago. That and the 'no-drinking' rule she imposed on him. Josh felt as if Sarah was missing her parental duties since her daughter was all grown up, but he couldn't help feeling frustrated at what he was taking some 'heat' for. He shaved, and that was fine enough, but when his sister asked him to survive without booze, it almost killed him.

He had been sober for a week, and awake for nearly as long. Every time Josh dared close his eyes, his nightmares caught up to him. They didn't catch him unaware or unprepared; he was ready, and he knew that with sleep came something more sinister, but there was no defence. Every night he woke up and shook, cold sweat dripping onto the bed sheets, and every night he begged Sarah for at least one shot—just something to put him out. It was either that or a bullet.

To give his sister credit, Josh was feeling better, and even though it was just a week, he was already catching at least two hours of unimpaired sleep. _Here's to hoping it gets even better_, he always wanted to say, but the joke was too close for comfort, and he had nothing to toast with.

Since he came back, Josh had been delaying something very important to him, something he absolutely had to do. What he found out on his journey troubled him. The fact that another human was behind the attacks was horrible, but that was not what he feared the most. Josh had come to a firm conclusion to allow the Alliance handle their own business—for all he knew they may have already forgotten about Elysium and moved on to 'bigger & better' things. He wasn't going to do their job for them, and he couldn't care less, in his mind. His revenge was complete, even if it didn't bring him any closure.

Now there was no delaying it, though. He couldn't fight it any longer, couldn't wait to be completely free of the alcohol and his nightmares. He feared those days might never come with the status quo. He stood there, staring at Tanya, her picture engraved so carefully and true to life into her tombstone. _Daughter, sister, hero_, read the letters beneath the image. Here, beyond the fragility of life and inside Josh's mind, Tanya was so clean, so beautifully innocent and pure. He felt almost unworthy standing before her, having done what he has in the past years: killing people for information, actually enjoying the process, and chasing every bad notion with gallons of liquor. He didn't deserve to stand before her, and yet he did.

"I did it," his mouth moved softly, releasing barely audible whispers, "I did it. I am sorry it took so long, but it is done. The one responsible, the bastard who did this to you, is all gone now. He's somewhere else, somewhere much worse than what I put him through, but much better than he deserves. I got him Tanya, I got him."

"Then why do I feel like shit?" Josh collapsed to his knees; tears now free flowing down his cheeks and onto the soft ground. "Why does it still hurt every time I think about you? Why does being the 'miraculous' survivor make me feel like I should have died out there with them, with you? I love you..."

He cried, not like he often did after Tanya passed on, but like he did when his mom died. He couldn't hold it back. He felt bad, he felt sorry for himself, and he hated the feeling. Josh wanted to scream, to shout, to do something to release everything, but something was still clutching at him, pulling him back, pulling him down, pulling him under.

"I thought it would make things better," he mumbled through the tears. "I hoped it would make some things go away completely. I thought it would allow me to finally let go. I love you, but I can't let your death haunt me. I will forever hold on to the good memories we've shared, however brief they are, but I can't be stuck on your passing. You deserved better. You deserved to walk out of Elysium alive, and I should have been dead down there, in your place." In his mind he knew if such a decision was ever an option he would take it without any hesitation.

Josh looked up at the tombstone again and got up, wiping his tears, his tank on empty. He did not move. He just stood there, his body static, eyes focused on the image before him. Something pulled at him and was not letting go; something kept him facing his nightmare in its eyes. For some reason Josh did not allow himself to feel better, nor did he allow himself to feel relieved that all was over. He only felt like one thing: like shit.

MExMExMExME

Sarah's office was brightly lit as always. She was sitting right across from Josh, enjoying a thin strip of cheese and looking at her brother. For the past week she couldn't be happier to have Josh back, but her 'motherly' instincts were bothering her. She was truly worried and wanted her brother out of the hole he dug for himself.

Josh had his hands folded across his chest. His face was determined and calm. He appreciated most of Sarah's efforts, but he couldn't rely on his sister forever. His mind was partially clear now, the alcohol exiting his system by a bit every day. He still had nightmares, but calm sleep was slowly returning to him. He was finally getting some rest and figuring things out.

"I know that look." Sarah smiled slightly.

"What look?" Josh jokingly played it off.

"The 'you've got your mind set on something, and there is nothing I can say to dissuade you look,'" Sarah reached for another stripe of cheese.

"Am I that obvious?"

"You try not to be." She couldn't stop smiling around Josh since he came back. "But I'm your sister, remember? Families have visual cues; I've learned yours long ago. Now come on Josh, don't stretch this melodrama any longer. Speak."

"I'm leaving," Josh leaned forward, reaching for another piece of cheese and a cracker, eyeing a beer bottle on the side of the table.

"Again? Haven't you hunted enough?" Sarah leaned forward. "She'd want you to stop; she'd want you to move on. She'd want you to live."

"It's not to hunt anything," Josh sighed. "I've hunted enough. Some things I've found," he paused, considering if he should let his sister in on his discovery about Elysium. "Some things best stay hidden. I won't find answers here either. I can't be a burden on you; I have to figure things out on my own."

"And you think running away again will help?"

"I'm not running, I'm," Josh paused, looking for things to say. "I... I just need to figure things out. I think I figured out who can help me and where I can go."

"I'm your sister." Sarah reached out to put her hand on top of his. "I want what's best for you, but I won't hold your hand. At least tell me where you're headed. God knows I deserve that much, after all you've put me through. I know you may not want my help right now, but you may see that you need it. Give me that much."

"Eden Prime," Josh turned and walked out of his sister's office slowly, feeling her gaze on his back. He promised to himself that this would not end like last time, he would not get lost in and consumed by a wild chase, he would not race off into the darkness on his own again, not now. Sarah just sat there, staring at his back. As much as she wanted to get up and grab his hand to pull him back. It was not what their father would do. He always said that people fall so that they can learn to pick themselves up, that was his philosophy, though she always dogged because of the suspicion it was a cheesy line from some movie. Josh needed to figure things out for himself, but he also need to know that she was there for him.

"Keep in touch," she said as he was about to walk out, "or I _will_ come down there."

The hallways of Sarah's office building felt twice as long on his way out. The well-decorated walls did not create an ambiance of sophistication anymore; instead all he could feel was loneliness and despair. In his mind, he was grasping at the last strings of sanity, trying to hold on for dear life. There was so much that went wrong; something was bound to go right one day soon, and he hoped that day was here now. Josh didn't know what else to do, or where else to go. He needed this. In his mind he knew that he has done all he could; even more, he brought himself down with his aspirations of revenge. Yet, it didn't make him feel any better; it just gnawed at him. Perhaps he needed to leave it all behind, once and for all, to forget.

MExMExMExME

The room Sarah had left him was dark. The dim, blue light of the monitor glowed weakly. Josh's face looked almost serene in the light—calm and peaceful. His eyes were focused intently on the screen as his fingers banged on the keys, searching through his own mailbox. Many mixed feelings emerged, and he didn't know what to feel while re-reading the past few years of letters. It was like hitting a rewind button on everything else except for himself—time travel, as foolish as the notion was. If only he could just go back, re-read his life like he could these letters. Finally, he found the one he was looking for.

_From: kamilah.._

_To: j_.et_

_Subject: Still Alive?_

_**Click For Attachment**_

_Josh,_

_Hey, it's fairly easy to forget that you're actually responding to these, knowing that you're probably somewhere far off. I've got some good news: they're allowing me to stay here on Eden Prime, permanently, just like I wanted. I know it's quite different from what I told you that one night back on Elysium, but I don't really want space anymore. I don't have to prove myself to anyone. Besides, it's quite beautiful here; you should see it._

_I've been really good at setting myself up here. I mean, I have a family now, I have to think about them too. I've been dreading this day for a while, but now that I got a permission to stay I think we'll be fine. I've settled down now and the past few years really gave me a perspective on things. I want to live with my husband and daughter, see her grow up, not move around the galaxy waiting for that one time a year I get to see her. I'm so glad I can stay here._

_Look, I probably shouldn't be writing this, but you _have_ to come here—just for a visit. It's really gorgeous, trust me. I know you've been moving around for so long now, searching for those responsible. I assume it's just too much to ask you to let go now, however, so when you're ready to take a break, just come for a visit. This place can heal the damaged soul, or so they say. I've attached my address and all in this mail. It's probably the last one in a while as I will try to adjust to full-time living. That's all I have to say, I guess. I've never been too good with words, especially written ones._

_Kamilah_

That was close to a year ago, the date under the email told Josh. So much had changed, especially in the last few months, but Kamilah wouldn't know that—not yet at least. Josh wondered if she would still welcome him if she saw what he had become. Perhaps to those who knew him, Josh would remain an image that stood for something, but to him he seemed no more than a shadow, an empty shell of what used to be.

There was no backing out now. He made his decision and even told Sarah his intentions, doing anything else at this point would just be pathetic. Josh had done many things in his life which made it difficult to look at the face in the mirror, but going back on his own word would not be added to that list. His bags were packed, and he was ready. He only had to convince himself that the tingling sensation in the bottom of his stomach was excitement, not fear.

MExMExMExME

By the time Josh's ship landed on Eden Prime he was already too scared to eat anything for the next few hours. Sarah had offered to 'sponsor' his trip, putting forth some of her cash, but Josh refused. He never relied on his sister's money too heavily and wasn't going to start now. Whatever he had left from his search for revenge went into this flight. He really felt like he was putting it all on the line, or something not quite as cliché, with coming to Eden Prime. After all, it'd been close to nine years, Kamilah probably had a life of her own, or was attempting to. Nevertheless, that didn't stop her from writing him every month for close to eight years until that final and abrupt email.

Josh always hated stepping down from ships. His body felt shaky, and he needed to apply extra control over all his functions just not to showcase his lunch for all to see. Once he regained enough control to move freely, Josh made his way through the checkpoints. The methodical routine was always the same, but this time it felt weird. A strange sensation grabbed him and wouldn't let go.

Once Josh's foot hit the outside of the space port, he froze. Eden Prime was indeed beautiful. His mind was frantically searching for words to describe what he saw, but nothing felt appropriate enough. The landscape varied, but the lush and rich vegetation covered it from head to toe. The early rays of the sunlight crept over the hill, illuminating one side of everything while casting long shadows behind. The many colours of different tree leaves played against each other, creating a unique and captivating spectrum. For one of the few times in his life, Josh truly stood speechless.

His lungs took a few seconds to work back into a steady rhythm as Josh started to look around. He was at one of the smaller space ports, more of a dedicated research site, shared with a small Alliance garrison for protection. Josh decided not to ask for directions, after all, the zone was small in size.

Outside of the research sites and the cargo train tracks, Eden Prime avoided the paved and systematic feel of the 'dead city,' a feat not many other colonies accomplished. Most of the walkways were still natural ground, a multitude of footprints dried into the dirt. Josh smiled at the fact that he still could easily identify which ones belonged to Alliance soldiers and which ones were the tender marks of the science team. Furthermore, he could even determine the gender of the footsteps' owners.

The Alliance camp was worked into the science settlement in usual military fashion. A number of patrol squads were littered in and around, but the main checkpoint was clearly inside the military camp. A young marine stepped in front of Josh as he was just about to make his way into the Alliance military territory.

"Identification, sir," the man's young voice was loud and direct, upbeat, which identified him as one of the newer recruits.

"I am here to visit someone," Josh acted casually, not at all intimidated by the man.

"No one gets through without proper ID," the youngster didn't give any ground, getting slightly closer to a face-to-face confrontation.

"Calm down, G.I. Joe." Josh squinted slightly because the sun was up now and he couldn't quite tolerate it. It wasn't 'hangover' annoying, but it was annoying.

"Sir." The soldier got closer, and his tone became hostile. "I will ask you to present proper identification or leave."

"What's the problem, Hazard?" a female voice came from somewhere behind the man.

"Nothing, Chief." The man turned briefly. "I was just about to point a visitor the other way."

"I'm actually headed where I need to be." Josh tried to squeeze through, but the man's hand grabbed him around his bicep.

Josh moved in a flash. He may have been a drinker in rehab, but in the past nine years he had to keep his skills far beyond Alliance basic. Mercenaries didn't exactly play by the rules of engagement, and one had to adjust. The young soldier's wrist snapped under the pressure of Josh's forceful touch. He twisted the marine's hand behind the man's body, pushing him down onto knees. He wanted nothing less than to push marine's face into the dirt but noted a gun fixed on him.

"Nobody move!" The female came into view, her brunette hair wrapped in a bun behind her head. There was something really attractive about her, but then again, the barrel of a gun ruined any real chance of proper appreciation.

"If Guile here would let me finish," Josh let go of the man's hand, "I would tell him who I'm here to visit, and he could run and get her like a proper soldier. Now he will have to go get a cast instead."

"That's nice," the woman said, edging slightly closer with her aim still fixed. "Turn around."

"Look this is ridiculous..."

"I said, TURN AROUND!"

"If you want to shoot me," Josh came closer, "shoot me, but before, could you at least tell Kamilah Alee that she has a visitor, and she'll probably be happy to see me."

The woman stood still for a second, giving just enough time to allow the younger soldier to get up. Josh could see in the man's eyes that he wanted nothing more than to throw a vicious punch, but the presence of a higher rank kept him back. The woman turned to the youngster.

"Go get First Sergeant Alee." She noted a slight hesitation so she added, "Now, Private."

"Right away, Gunnery Chief." The youngster shot off a straight salute with his healthy arm and ran off.

The next couple of minutes seemed to drag on infinitely. The Gunnery Chief did not let down her guard, keeping the assault rifle trained on Josh. He wanted to pace back and forth, or even run away at some point, but Josh could feel the crosshair on him, and something told him she was a pretty good shot. He tried to smile, diffuse the atmosphere somehow, but nothing seemed appropriate.

Josh used the time to fully evaluate the woman before him. She seemed quite attractive, and had a mean-spirited aura to her to boot. While she was definitely pretty, Josh easily felt the determination behind her fixed gaze. This one did not allow anything to get in the way of her role of a soldier, and by the way she held her assault rifle, the Gunnery Chief had something to prove.

Finally, the minutes of agonizing silence were broken with appearance of Kamilah dressed in her civilian clothes, probably on her day off.

"Josh?" He couldn't tell if Kamilah sounded surprised or angry, but either way it was nice just to see her face again.

She had barely changed, even after all the time he hadn't seen her. Her slim figure still filled any set of clothes well enough to make anyone turn their head. Josh even noted the Gunnery Chief sneak a quick peek. There was very little evidence that Kamilah changed at all, which was not surprising with technological advancements that allowed everyone to preserve their youth. Yet, something was different. Her presence was changed now; she was more assertive and confident.

"Josh?" Kamilah moved closer now, "I can't believe it's really you. You _actually_ came for a visit." She turned her face to the Gunner Chief, "Stand down, Williams."

"Yes ma'am." Williams brought down her assault rifle and stiffened as her hand shot up for a salute.

Kamilah cleared the rest of the distance between her and Josh in a second, wrapping her arms around him. Josh couldn't help but follow suit. He couldn't tell how long they stood there in each other's arms, long lost friends, one welcoming the other back, but neither he nor Kamilah wanted to break it off. She seemed to come to her senses first, though.

"Come," she said, grabbing him by the wrist. "I live right around the corner. Where's the rest of your stuff?"

"I don't have anything else." Josh shrugged. There was only one small bag over his shoulders; he didn't bother to pick up anything new while living with Sarah.

"Ma'am," Williams stepped into their path with yet another unrequited salute.

"What is it, Ash?" Kamilah sounded very relaxed, like an officer of duty, which she was.

"We need to file a report," Ashley said quickly, "about Steve's wrist."

"I'll handle it," Kamilah retorted. "Get the papers on my desk before you go off-duty tonight."

"Yes ma'am."

"Come." She grabbed Josh by the hand and dragged him after her. "Let's go. I can't believe you're actually here."

For the next few minutes they walked in full silence. Josh took the time to look around again. He thought that he spent enough time gawking at the scenery of the planet, but he was wrong. Everything seemed to gain a different colour as the light shifted in the sky. Reflections changed in microscopic ways, but it seemed to make a ton of difference. The radiance of the planet surface shifted constantly, like a waterfall always guided by the rocks.

No matter where Josh looked this time, his gaze always came back to Kamilah. She was just as beautiful as he remembered—the girl who distracted everyone in her unit, but for him, she was still a friend first and foremost. Her light grasp of his hand signified some changed. The Kamilah of the past was more stern, more aware of her actions, and always focused on working extra hard because, in her opinion, her looks 'set her back' as a serious soldier. There seemed to be no such insecurity anymore. Kamilah had learned to embrace the best of both sides.

Her house wasn't overly big, but it was large enough to house a few people. It was only one story high with a very retrospective architectural style. To Josh, it seemed like something straight out of his history textbook, perhaps the early XXI Century. Kamilah unlocked the door and walked in, Josh following in her footsteps.

"Make yourself at home. Amanda has left for school on Earth a few weeks ago so you should enjoy the peace and quiet." She pointed down a mini-hallway, to where it opened up into a spacious living room, "I'll just grab something for us to talk over. Coffee? Tea? Wine? Beer?"

"Beer," Josh smiled, slipping out of his shoes and making his way into the living room. He quickly found the couch and sat down. The room was decorated very neatly; everything seemed to have its place and purpose. The only things that created a clutter were pictures of Kamilah's family. Her husband looked good, but her kid was absolutely captivating, in a very cute way only a six-year-old can be.

"We have so much to talk about," Kamilah's voice came over a small bar-top table, separating the kitchen and the living room. "It's been so long, and you hardly write."

She reappeared carrying a tray. On top of it were two cold bottles of Heineken and a bowl of mixed salted nuts. She set the tray onto the glass table and grabbed one of the bottles, quickly twisting the cap off as she sat down to the side of him in a large arm chair. Josh grabbed his own beer.

"So?" Kamilah leaned forward, staring at him.

"So what?" Josh stared back, throwing a few cashews into his mouth.

"We have not seen each other for nine years, you barely write, and he asks '_so what_?'" Kamilah used a mock-accusing intonation.

Josh leaned back, prepared himself, and told her everything of importance out of the last nine years.

He started with recalling his initial wanderings, lost in between nowhere and anywhere, drowned in the bottle of hard liquor. Straight after the Elysium bureaucracy was all sorted out, Josh left without any plans to come back. He travelled with his small savings at first, trying to figure out a purpose or a destination that would take his mind of things, but nothing seemed to come up. After about a year and a half of mindless wandering, all he did was chase himself deeper into the bottle, into an everlasting slumber.

Closer to the end, he started hearing of the Alliance gearing up for an assault on Torfan, for a retaliation blow long overdue. For the time being he sobered up and waited, hoping that some closure would come. The press touted Torfan as a big success, even though none of the main 'actors' in orchestrating the assault on Elysium were caught or killed. Around that time, rumours started to swirl that perhaps the batarians were not the ones wholly responsible for the Blitz.

While visiting one of the lower slum bars on one of the many planets, Josh heard a turian mercenary bragging about how he earned his first experience during the Blitz, attacking the humans. He waited and hunted the turian down, beating him for information on anyone who knew may be responsible. And since then, the hunt was on. Sometimes he went months without action, lost of direction or just too drunk to move, but when he 'worked' it all came fast.

Josh sorted his way through the who's who of the dregs of society, sometimes forcing the information out of someone, sometimes buying it if the person was of a higher profile. Despite anything, he had no big breaks. He traded one small-timer for another, leaving bodies in his wake, adding more nightmares for his 'collection,' but nothing else.

Not so long ago, a mysterious stranger contacted Josh, advising him to go to Omega in search of answers. He didn't tell him more than that, but hinted that perhaps Josh would finally be able to see some conclusion to his pointless chase. After that, things moved way too fast, bringing him to the anticlimactic ending of it all.

When Josh was finally finished, the room fell silent for a bit. Kamilah simply sat there, looking at him. Her hand slowly moved on top of his, gentle fingers squeezing ever so slightly. Without his noticing, some tears seemed to have appeared on his face: small evidence of the fact that he was still at least partially human inside.

"So it was a human?" Kamilah finally found her voice.

"I don't know," Josh admitted, "and honestly, I don't care anymore. I can't chase them forever. I killed the man that killed Tanya. I hoped that would be enough."

"Was it?"

"No," Josh said honestly, shifting his sad gaze downward.

"Maybe you've been searching in all the wrong places." Kamilah shifted herself to the couch, and wrapped her hands around him, "Maybe you should have been trying to move on. Honour Tanya instead of chasing shadows and drinking yourself into a stupor."

He knew she was right, but a part of him refused to admit it. Tanya would never have wanted him to chase after revenge or to destroy his own life in order to bring a conclusion to hers. Josh thought about that every night, usually dousing it with heavy liquor. "What's done is done," he said quietly, holding on to Kamilah. "I just want to move on."

Kamilah smiled as she pulled away slightly, looking him straight in the eye. She got up graciously and scooped up the empty bottles with the tray and went into the kitchen. She reappeared a few seconds later with two new bottles. "Enough about that," she said, understanding Josh's pain. "Let's talk about something else."

"I thought I _shouldn't_ drink myself to death?" Josh tried to make a joke out of it. In truth, Kamilah was not making it easier.

"There is no better casual atmosphere for the friends to catch up than sharing beers though," she handed him a bottle, "besides, I'm here, and that's your last one, mister."

"Mister?"

"Too far?" Kamilah smiled, "anyways, take the beer or not it's time to redirect this conversation."

"I agree." Josh slowly accepted the bottle and then reclined his body, a miniature version of a smile on his lips. "So who is he? I mean I've seen the pictures and all, but that hardly describes a person."

"Patrick? He's a researcher." Kamilah smiled, perhaps playing all her cards a bit too early. "An archaeologist, actually. They are looking for something here on Eden Prime; he never explained what exactly. In the end, we decided to stay after the excavations were over and my station was done with. It's a pity you couldn't meet Amanda, but we decided it was necessary she gets the best education available, being as smart as she is."

"When do I meet the fellow," Josh enjoyed the cold beer streaming down his throat, "I'd very much like to."

"You'll have plenty of time." Kamilah smiled and then gazed at Josh's knapsack quickly. "After all, if you're staying here for a bit you two are bound to run into each other."

"Is that a formal invitation?"

"As formal as you will get," they both were laughing now.

"And here I was expecting a pretty postcard to top it off," Josh clinked the bottom of Kamilah's beer bottle with the bottom of his own, the glass sending a small vibration up each of their hands. He was truly happy for her, albeit slightly sad for himself.

A knock interrupted them.

"Maybe you'll get to meet him sooner rather than later," Kamilah smiled, setting down the beer bottle onto the table and rushing towards the door.

Josh could see the hallway from here and did not feel the need to get up. Contrary to what Kamilah thought, it was not her husband. Josh clearly made out a female form in the doorway, dressed in familiar armour at that. Voices reached him clearly.

"Gunnery Chief?" Kamilah felt slightly thrown off.

"I decided to drop off the report myself," the other woman said quickly, "just to save the hassle of filing it."

"Do you ever take a break?" Kamilah's tone quite the opposite to Ashley's, very relaxed and calm, as opposed to stern and direct.

"You know I don't, ma'am," Williams was quick to point out.

"You can't just keep moving at such paces." Kamilah smiled. "You may forget to live at all. There is actually someone I'd like you to meet. Can you come in for a second?"

"Sure," Ashley sounded a little thrown off, but Josh saw her form enter into the house, the door closing behind them.

"I know you already met under more 'formal' circumstances," Kamilah appeared first, leading the young Gunnery Chief in behind her, "but I do not believe you've been properly introduced. Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams, meet, I guess now former Corporal Joshua Dri, one of the main reasons Elysium is still a human colony."

Josh did not exert himself by getting up, but only tilted his bottle slightly in his hand towards Ashley. He imagined he looked nothing like a Corporal, relaxed on the soft couch with a beer in his hand. At least his face was shaved.

"I heard Commander Shepard was the reason Elysium is still a human colony." Ashley was quick on the tongue, so it seemed. Very direct, and Josh quickly figured out that she wasn't too fond of him, a small surprise judging from their first encounter.

"So they say." Josh smiled.

"He was important too," Kamilah was quick to reassure. "I just wanted to get done with the first impressions, considering he will be staying around for a while, Ash. I'd like you to be slightly nicer."

"Former Corporal?" Ashley did not acknowledge if she heard Kamilah's final comment or not, her eyes still fixed on Josh.

"The Alliance is not quick to take back people who walked away from it." Josh steadied his posture a bit.

"Running away from the battle instead of towards it? I'd call that cowardice." Ashley seemed to smirk. "Not something I'd expect a 'reason for why Elysium is still standing' to do."

"Ashley!" Kamilah got a bit frustrated. "Could you curb it and play nice? Josh used to be a good soldier."

"Besides," Josh liked this game, "your generals would call that strategizing, but what do I know."

They stood there silently for a second, basking in the awkwardness of it all. Josh appreciated Kamilah's effort to try and integrate him back into some sort of life, but perhaps his first impression cut too deep. He thought he had figured Ashley out at this point: a female soldier, quite gorgeous in her own right, but stern and determined as if she had something to prove and a lot of people to prove it to. She never quit and did not tolerate quitters or people who took any kind of shortcut from the Alliance code, as she appeared to never have taken one. Small wonder her and Kamilah appeared to be friends.

"Look Ash," Kamilah's voice cut through the uncomfortable silence, "I'll see you tomorrow. Thanks for dropping off the report. You saved me some time."

"No problem." Ashley smiled and turned to walk away before pausing for a brief glance back at Josh. "Nice to meet you," she hardly tried to sound convincing.

"Likewise." Josh was genuine.

Once the Gunner Chief was out the door, Kamilah came right back wearing quite an apologetic expression. "I didn't know she would get like that. She's a really great person and a good friend, it's just some of her... personal issues have made her of harder stuff than others."

"Don't ever try to set me up like that again," Josh warned jokingly.

"I wasn't; she's just a good friend, and you'll be seeing a lot of her too. What now?"

"I'd love to have a shower and some rest," Josh felt fatigue wrapping its heavy arms around him. "It's been a long day."

"Of course." Kamilah grabbed Josh by the arm, helping him get up. "Let me show you where the guest room and the shower are."


	15. Chapter 14: Realignment

Disclaimer: Obviously all of the game characters, places etc. are creative property of BioWare.

BETA READER: AblatedCrayon [A big special thanks in this chapter. Without his help I would not be able to write this so well and perhaps would have been lost in my own meddling. This is the person who keeps me on track and calls me out when I try and take shortcuts through proofreading. Big thanks.]

**Chapter 14**

**Realignment**

_Any idiot can face a crisis – it's the day to day living that wears you out._

_Anton Chekhov _

_Everything has been figured out, except how to live._

_Jean-Paul Sartre_

The loud buzzing of the alarm pierced Josh's ears, forcing him out of the sweet clutches of dreams. For the past week, he seemed to have levelled out, finding his nocturnal hours a whole lot more bearable. It's the mornings he had a problem with now, specifically the annoying buzz in his ears. Silently, he cursed whoever thought of the alarm every morning, it was a little daily ritual in place of a prayer, or as Josh liked to think of it, a very specific kind of unique prayer, known only to him. Classy.

He lay there for two minutes, promising himself that he would get up this very instant, but directed no effort towards the action. Eventually, as there seemed to be no other way to turn off the damn alarm, Josh got out of bed and walked, half-asleep, smacking down on the 'off' switch.

After the minor annoyance was out of the way, it was time to go to sleep, except that it was too late for that. Josh quickly looked down, and his body dropped, two arms catching his frame as it was about to hit the floor. Push-ups felt methodical and routine as he proceeded to give a varying number of reps before switching into a crunch position, his feet secure under the bed for resistance. It felt like underachieving, after what Alliance training put him through, years ago, but this was all Josh had. It was the only thing that let him know that in some shape or form he was still a living human being.

Over the years, he never gave up his little morning routine of exercises, allowing himself to stay in relative shape. For Josh, it was part of his systematic existence, his own little personal cog in life. His sister said it's because he was chubby in school and never wanted to go back, but he figured it simply made sense to be ready if anything happened, to be fit.

For a week now Josh had been staying at Kamilah's. His mornings became blended with one another—the same. He repeated the procedures like a machine, with parameters entered almost the same each time. It was weird that something so systematic was the one of the few things keeping Josh sane. Well, that and the booze that he once again had free access too. This time though, he held back as much as possible, restricting his inner alcoholic into a casual drinker.

Kamilah was very happy to see him, constantly probing him for more information on the years that they had not seen each other. Each night, at the dinner table, she questioned him as if he was in front of a military tribunal, relentlessly pressing for even the tiniest and most irrelevant specks of information. Josh obeyed without question, feeling like an old man telling stories to kids gathered around him and his campfire. It felt good to be concerned with something other than revenge for once, but it didn't help that Kamilah was forcing him to go back to that place every night.

Josh also felt an excessive amount of guilt in front of Patrick, Kamilah's husband. He was more of a quiet, scientific type. Josh quickly pegged him down as one of those dreamy lookers whom high school girls drool over, minus the douchebag-like demeanour. While many would consider Patrick aesthetically beautiful, he was extremely shy and introverted. The only time that Josh saw that man display genuine emotion was around Kamilah or when he talked work, which wasn't that often, considering his girlfriend's fascination with Josh's adventures instead of the boring archaeological escapades of her husband.

At one point, Josh offered to move out in order to allow things to come back to normal, but Kamilah quickly shot the notion down. It seemed that they had formed a friendly bond that she was not ready to let go just yet, and Josh didn't mind as long as he didn't have to cook his own food. Patrick grew slightly more comfortable with Josh's presence by the end of the week, but the ex-marine could still feel a distasteful n unhappy gaze or two directed at him every now and again. For some reason, Josh felt as if Patrick was threatening, but couldn't figure out why—after all, he was just a friend, while Patrick was not only a living partner, but a father to Kamilah's daughter.

Speaking of little Amanda, her influence was all over the house, even though she wasn't here anymore. It felt as if the spaces were created just for her, with furniture arranged just to give a child lots of running room. During the tour of the house however, Josh noticed an excessive amount of books in Amanda's room. That explained why she was at Oxford, on Earth.

The people around them, especially the military personnel, were much worse. It seemed like the news of the circumstances of his arrival had spread like a fire through a dry forest. Josh felt himself the recipient of untrusting, and even occasionally menacing looks every day. It was as if he was a dog, a friendly one yet a dog nonetheless, walking around through a cat shelter. Inside, Josh was expecting the get ambushed any day, especially by 'G.I. Joe's' play-pals, wanting to get payback for the matter of the injured hand. Josh always kept his guard up, but none of the grunts ever did anything.

Then there was Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams.

Ashley was perhaps the only person outside of Kamilah's house who did not limit her interaction with him. She tried to make a point of showing him up, trying to make him feel guilty for turning his back on the Systems Alliance and 'running away.' Josh felt as if she hated him with a passion, for everything that he was, and even more, for everything that he wasn't.

He asked Kamilah about her, and found out about Ashley's history. Perhaps divulging her soldier's information was not the most prudent course of action for Kamilah, but Josh would never expose his friend. Josh knew about Williams, and it helped him understand why she hated him. He also reigned in his own remarks, especially those informing Ashley of the 'real' struggle on Elysium, to himself.

Josh couldn't say he knew what it felt like to be shunned your whole military career, but from what he heard, that was what happened to Ashley because of her grandfathers actions. Technically, the Alliance was not doing anything wrong, carrying out sound judgements at personal discretion, but minor technicalities, the flaws in the system allowed them to keep a perfectly ready, and even exceptional, marine at bay and far from where she could make a difference. That's why Ashley was mad at him, Josh figured. He once had the chance to do what she always dreamed of doing, to travel space on a real Alliance vessel as part of the crew, to see the universe, and he blew it all away.

Caught up in his thoughts, Josh made his way through the house into the living room and then into the adjacent kitchen. A small note was folded on the countertop, waiting to be read. His hands scooped the piece of paper up and unfolded it. It was a little note from Kamilah.

_Josh,_

_I hope you didn't forget that we're having a formal dinner tonight. I know you said you'd disappear, but I'd like you to attend. Please dress accordingly. _

_Kamilah._

_Not your husband_, Josh thought to himself, _nor a boyfriend_. He knew he would dress though. That was one of the few ways he could show his friend gratitude for putting him up for this long. It was only a week at the moment, but he knew that he would need to stay here for at least one more month, until he could figure out what to do with himself.

Josh opened the fridge, reaching inside and grabbing two large eggs. With his other hand he turned on the stove and threw down a frying pan. It was time for breakfast and contemplation, but breakfast came first.

Ever since finishing with the nasty business on Omega, Josh couldn't find a place for himself. The nightmares receded, but nothing changed. If anything, now it was all worse than before. He had no place in the universe, no niche to crawl into and live out the rest of his days in peace and harmony. He was an ex-Alliance soldier who turned his back on it in the very young years of his life, and spent the rest of them travelling without a purpose or goal through Citadel Space. That's what he was right now, a man without a place, the man without history, only a man with revenge. Unfortunately, that brought very little comfort.

The systematic and scheduled existence in the mundane was also driving Josh nuts just as much as it kept him sane, a paradox of his existence. Half the time since coming to Eden Prime he couldn't figure out what he was to do. Everyone around him seemed quite willing and able to adjust to the state of 'permanently getting lost' in the casual, but he wasn't. His last nine years were spent in constant motion, his life in danger more than once, with nothing ever the same. Now he was adjusting to a regular schedule, quitting the only thing that kept him afloat through all those years, and trying to lead a normal life. Josh smiled at the thought, he hardly classified himself as the definition of normal. As a matter of fact if dictionaries had pictures, his would be as far from normal as possible.

For the past two days, Josh has been exploring various avenues of employment in an attempt to find another purpose. When he was on his 'hunt,' it was all easy. The goal and the departure points were so clear, never any question as to what he wanted. Now, the ex-Corporal had no idea, not even a slightly concept of what he wanted to do. Kamilah seemed to have it all figured out, she found contentment and happiness in the 'everyday' things—perhaps Josh could learn from her, adopt a similar 'boring' life. First, he needed at least an illusion of a purpose: he needed a job.

The one job offer that appealed to him the most came from the Eden Prime based Eden Security Corporation, or ES-Corp. They started at Eden Prime, often tying their own rapid growth and efficiency with that of the colony in their marketing records. The company was bankrolled by a diplomat back on Earth. He put forth unbelievable financing to make sure that his was the most successful and efficient 'human-only' security company in Citadel Space. The plan was succeeding. ES-Corp had contracts on most of humanity's major colonies, as well as even one or two private arrangements on the Citadel – probably the most elusive contracts as well, considering the everlasting presence of C-Sec.

Their security office on Eden Prime worked in close co-operation with the Alliance, considering that the colony did not hold a large military presence. With the Alliance having the authority to train and most station younger and 'less useful' soldiers on Eden Prime, ES-Corp gained access to more exclusive contracts in the colony, as well as a joint contract venture with the current Alliance research/excavation project. The company was mainly comprised of retired/never enlisted soldiers, or those who felt shunned by the Alliance. Some were ex-mercs, giving up their 'treasure hunting' days to settle down. ES-Corp offered very competitive salaries and a strong employee base to say the least.

As Josh made his breakfast and quickly devoured it, he made a point of stopping by the ES-Corps office. He had already met with the person in charge of the joint-Alliance contract, now it was just a matter of formal interview. Luckily for him, private security corporations such as ES-Corp did not look at the 'loyalty' of record, they simply cared that candidates were qualified and ready for action from day one. No bullshit, no Alliance-like military examination procedures.

Done with breakfast, Josh quickly changed into a different set of clothes and cleaned up after himself. He wasn't the cleanliest of people, but as a guest, it was his responsibility not to burden Kamilah and Patrick with extra house-work. Besides, when he was younger his mom always made him do the dishes anyways, so it was an easy habit.

His walks through Eden Prime made life just a little bit more bearable. Josh always seemed to forget how beautiful the planet really was, his breath gone each day as he made his first steps. The ex-Corporal measured his strides very carefully, often slowing down to a crawl as he walked. The eternal beauty of the colony's surface captivated his imagination. Only nature could create something so perfectly peaceful and gorgeous. Some people said that the most romantic and breathtaking view was a sunset from a qualified viewpoint. On Eden Prime everything could count as a viewpoint, and it felt like it was always sunset, the way the colours interchanged with each other.

He found a spot, just on top of the hill to the side of the small military town a few days ago. It gave him more of a bird's eye view of the people below and a good draw distance for seeing the horizon. Slightly to the side there were the excavation site and the small light-rail, but technology was not what captivated Josh Dri. A lot of people have found themselves caught up in fascination of the mechanical and the artificial; he, on the other hand, found true beauty in the unaltered, often chaotic, but always breathtaking natural world.

"Enjoying the view?" A familiar female voice came from behind him. Josh turned to greet Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams.

"A little bit," Josh admitted, still looking at Ashley. "Come to chastise me about my decision to turn my back on the military again, Gunnery Chief? Or is it something new today?"

Ashley bit her lip, trying to fight back the desire to scream in his face. "Enjoy the view," she said, "but now you're here."

Josh turned around and went back to his daily sightseeing. He didn't exactly want to argue with Williams every time he saw her, but the woman left him no choice. No matter where she pushed him though, Josh always held back. He knew that in one outburst, he could very easily bring up the Williams history, Shanxi, everything. And while knowing things he shouldn't know would be part of the trouble, he could seriously affect Williams, and more importantly Kamilah, perhaps even putting her military career in jeopardy.

"Do you really hate me that much Gunner Chief?"

"I dislike people like you; hate is too strong of a word." Ashley was honest, that seemed to be her trademark: she cut straight to the chase, never tippy-toeing around the issue. It was a 'brute' technique, but it seemed to suit her well. "I just don't see how one could justify turning his back on his people, walking away when presented with the opportunity of a lifetime: a chance to do something."

"Are you jealous?" Josh blurted out without thinking, his anger getting the best of himself.

"Keep dreaming," Williams' words held more of a bite this time.

"No," Josh pressed on, turning around, "I see what this is now. You're stuck here, while people like me are passing up the 'opportunities of a lifetime.' I get it now. You were probably one of the kids fascinated by the Alliance ads on TV, a soldier conquering the peak on Noveria or somewhere alike, or fighting batarian pirates in space. You wanted to do that, to be that soldier, but instead all you got was a station here, on this calm planet that has nothing to offer for your ambition. Am I right?"

Ashley's fists clenched up, and if she wasn't a soldier Josh imagined she would have cried. Her pupils started to tremble just a bit, but the Gunnery Chief seemed to collect herself soon enough. Her voice was colder than ever before, "You know nothing about me, Mr. Dri. You don't know what I've been through."

"Well neither do you," Josh tried to mellow himself into some sort of control after his unexpected outburst. He was just as taken back by it as Ashley was. "So in the future, it would be prudent to refrain from making assumptions."

Ashley's eyes seemed to scream a loud 'fuck you' while her mouth did not move. She simply stood there staring at Josh. Then, as suddenly as she appeared, the Gunnery Chief turned and walked away, her boots hitting the ground hard underneath her feet.

Josh turned back, but he couldn't bring himself to enjoy the view. The little outing that just happened between him and Ashley Williams was something he knew he would feel guilty for, that seemed to be the trend in ex-Corporal's life. Josh didn't know why he said what he said, He never explicitly brought up Shanxi, but knowingly hit on the important points of what he imagined were Ashley's ghosts. Two sides of him were in conflict: one wanted to run after Williams and apologize, the other one found justice in the fact that the little brat was put in her place. Josh wanted to listen to the first half, but he knew nothing would be done now. He has pushed past that point of no return with this one.

MExMExMExME

When Josh made it back, a small light was flashing on the computer screen. He quickly sat down into a chair and flicked on his communicator. The screen shook slightly before revealing Sarah's face, her eyes looking straight at him, an accusing stare.

"You do know the definition of 'calling' don't you?" she said, half-mockingly and half-seriously.

"I forgot," Josh shrugged, getting more comfortable in his chair.

"I bet you if I came down there you wouldn't forget," Sarah leaned forward. "How are things? You holding on okay? I hope you didn't start drinking again."

"You know me," Josh flashed a week smile, "all about booze and snorting red sand with Eden Prime's finest women."

"Josh," Sarah was sounding more and more like their mother, "this is not funny. There are people worried sick about you, me included, and here you are cracking jokes."

"Sis, I'm fine."

"You told me that last time," Sarah refused to back down. "Remember that one? Just before you left on, what was it, an eight year disappearance act through the universe."

"I'm figuring things out," Josh felt slightly frustrated but worked hard not to show it, "I can do this on my own. Why do you always insist to be part of everything I do? You're just like mom."

"Why do you always insist to act like you don't believe that I care," Sarah came on harder, "and never dare bring mom into conversation like that. Never again."

"Sorry," Josh checked himself a bit. "I got a little carried away. It's just that I know what I'm doing. You're my sister, but you can't live this life for me. I have to figure this out for myself. Getting back on my feet won't be easy, but if I can do it, it has to be on my own."

"I know," Sarah smiled herself, "and I'm not here to terrorize you. I'm just tired of hearing that you can handle it on your own, it doesn't signify weakness to show seek some help Josh, you know it."

"It's just," Josh paused for a second, not knowing what to say, thinking. "... Look, it's not that I don't want your help but I think it's best if I decide what to do on my own. I don't even know what I want yet, I just know that I'm tired of chasing shadows, rushing into nowhere. The truth is, I'm just as lost as you are, but I know I will find myself, I'm around people who went through similar transitions as me, probably not as severe as chasing maniacs across the galaxy but you get the idea. I'll get on my feet, it won't be tomorrow, maybe not even this year, but I will. And, I'll come to you for help at some point, but right now I need a chance to see if I can do it, just me."

"Fine," Sarah was forced to surrender the argument, "I trust you to know what you are doing, mom did when you joined the Alliance, but I'm also trusting that you've grown up since then. If you need anything, anything at all, even if it's 3am here and you just want someone to talk to, dial me."

"Thanks." Josh reclined into his chair a bit more, trying to figure something out in his head. "I think I might stay here for a bit, maybe even get a job."

"A Job?" Sarah was more alarmed than surprised. "I offered you a job not so long ago."

"Sarah, I'm not a consultant. I can't work for you. I'd rather stay here and run some security gigs until I figure out what to do after."

"Security?" Sarah got a little more aggressive, "Are you nuts? On Eden Prime? I assume this is some kind of a joke. Otherwise, I will have to come down there and drag you back here, tie you to a desk perhaps, and make sure you don't run away."

"Sarah!" Josh interrupted her quickly. "Are you going to do this again?"

"No," she receded on the issue, "sorry. I just think you'd be better off doing something else other than toting around with a gun, playing pretend military. Since it's on Eden Prime I assume its ES-Corp? At least they aren't half as bad as the rest of the companies out there. I happen to know their controlling interest and have done some work around the company's development. At least you're in goo—well at least you're in _decent_ hands."

"Thanks," Josh allowed a smile to come back to his face, seeing how Sarah was mellowing out herself.

"That doesn't mean I support you," she came right back. "I just don't want you to go in blindfolded, or make a dumb decision. My offer to join the 'family business' still stands."

"You're not the mafia," Josh laughed.

"I just always wanted to say that," Sarah allowed herself to smile too, "and yeah, there is always a position open here for you. For now though, I guess I have to let you get all of this 'all by myself' macho bullshit out of your head. I have to run though, very important meeting. Say hello to Kamilah for me."

Josh froze for a second. He did not recall telling his sister why he was going to Eden Prime or who was living here. He blinked a few more times, still lost for words.

"You think I wouldn't know why you're going down to Eden Prime?"

"I think that's called spying," Josh smiled, not too concerned. Perhaps it was better if Sarah knew.

"I believe the proper Alliance term is 'reconnaissance,'" Sarah leaned forward, extending her hand, probably to push the 'off' button. "But as I said, I have to run. Meeting time. Enjoy yourself, and try not do anything stupid—anymore."

Josh smiled as the screen went into a dark blue spectrum. He quickly reached out and turned his own screen off. He got up, stretching his hands and looking carefully around the room. His gaze stopped on his bed, where a set of clothes laid carefully prepared, waiting for him. A small note lay on top of them. Josh quickly read it to figure out what was up. It seemed that Kamilah didn't find any of his clothes suiting for the dinner coming up, and chose something out of Patrick's wardrobe. For better or worse they were roughly the same size. Josh looked at the clothes again and cringed. Why did women insist on controlling his life?

MExMExMExME

"I very much appreciate you giving me the clothes," Josh said, walking into the kitchen dressed in Patrick's khaki pants and a polo/golf shirt. "On the other hand, it makes me want to hurt you physically."

"So they fit?" Kamilah smiled, briefly taking her gaze off the cooking. The oven was on, and from the smell it was just finishing its job on a chicken. Kamilah was finishing with the mashed potatoes and the salad. She was dressed in a maroon dress, with her hair tied back and an apron over the dress.

"Patrick not back yet?" Josh asked curiously.

"No," Kamilah shot back quickly. "He called that one time. Apparently something big came up, he didn't say what, but he'll rush it to get back."

"Hopefully he'll make it on time," Josh smiled, squeezing past Kamilah towards the fridge, pulling out a bottle of scotch, quickly catching an accusing look from his friend. "What? It's a dinner..."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah," Josh popped the cap and poured himself a glass, adding two more ice cubes. Kamilah was still looking at him, but broke her gaze soon enough, going back to the food.

"Can you go entertain?" she asked hopefully. "My dad is not much for waiting all on his own, neither is Patrick's sister, I don't think."

"They got Williams," Josh smiled, bringing the glass to his lips and enjoying it perhaps a little bit too much.

"Can you call her Ashley?"

"Can she stop chastising me for quitting on the Alliance?"

"Josh!"

"I'm sorry," he said, "I know she's your friend, and I'm a guest, perhaps slowly outliving my welcome."

"Don't say that," Kamilah frowned. "You know you're welcome to stay for a while."

"I know," Josh smiled, "but that doesn't mean I have to. I think I might get a quick gig with ES-Corp, just to get back on my feet for now. Get a small place on Eden Prime for a bit, maybe rent. Figure things out, can we talk about this later though? I'll go entertain now."

Josh grabbed the bottle and an extra glass with him.

"You do that," Kamilah smiled, "and you know you can stay as long as you want."

Josh made his way right through into the living room. Ashley sat in between Patrick's sister and Kamilah's father, telling them about Eden Prime. She was dressed modestly, in a pair of jeans and a dark vest overtop of a t-shirt. Patrick's sister was slightly younger than Josh, dressed in a skirt, perhaps slightly too short for this type of dinner and a sleeveless top over it. Her blue eyes drifted aimlessly around the room until they settled on Josh who was walking in. Her lips perked up in a smile as she brushed her brunette hair from her eyes.

Kamilah's father looked up too. He was a man in his sixties, dressed in a suit, slightly bulky. His grey hair was combed over to try and cover a balding spot. The man's voice seemed to be a deep cackle, probably from smoking for a long time.

"Mr. Alee," Josh nodded in Kamilah's father's direction, and then turned to Patrick's sister, "I don't believe we've met."

Ashley rolled her eyes.

"It's Katy," the younger woman smiled, moving a little bit too eagerly, freeing a little bit more space for Josh. Despite the space available, Josh chose to sit on the chair across from Kamilah's father. He didn't exactly want to find himself pinned between Katy and Ashley. "Ashley was just telling us about her Alliance experience so far."

Josh placed the empty glass on the table and poured the scotch into it, moving it towards Kamilah's father. The man nodded and accepted the offer, bringing the glass up to his lips and enjoying the drink wholeheartedly.

"And I was trying to make an argument that perhaps a different career would be better for my daughter," Mr. Alee commented.

"With all due respect," Ashley came in, just as quick and direct as always. She was a stubborn person. "If Kamilah has her principles, wouldn't it be right for her to stand up for them? I think it's a good thing that she is so dedicated to a cause, and a noble cause at that."

"Nonsense," the older man came back. "It's all her mother's fault. That woman lives and breathes military, even after she retired. The whole universe is open now; there are so many things to see, so much to do. Why would anyone, especially a woman, limit herself to the brute profession of the past? That's why humans don't get the respect we deserve. We boast a huge fleet as if we're here spoiling for a fight, but we should be showing them that we can do much more. Like the volus: make our mark diplomatically and financially."

Ashley still looked a little taken back by the remark about women, and Josh noticed that. He decided to butt in before the Gunnery Chief came forth with another remark of hers. "I think it's not a matter of one or the other, it's a matter of balance, and we're still finding ours. I mean look at the volus, how far are they in the actual political standing? Not too far, to this day still shunned by the Council. As for why people would serve in the military, I think it's a matter of personal preference. If a person has a passion for something it is best to encourage it. Such passion, commitment, and dedication is the best humanity has to offer, and we should be proud of it."

All through his mini-speech Josh glanced at Ashley periodically. She still seemed to be in the midst of analyzing the insult. Her eyes briefly flashed a relieved and surprised 'thanks' his way. Josh nodded again and turned to Mr. Alee. The older man seemed to recline slightly, analyzing what he just heard with a glass of scotch in his hand. "And what do you do," he asked with a little too much satisfaction in his voice. "If you don't mind me asking?"

"Nothing right now," Josh admitted, but did not relinquish his position, "I used to be part of Alliance military back on Elysium, sir, and now I am looking for a metaphorical 'clean start.'"

Kamilah's father seemed to be satisfied with the answer. He reclined himself even more in his chair, placing the scotch glass down and folding one hand on top of the other as if to say "that's what I thought." His posture fully indicated that the argument was over and that, at least in his own mind, he won by matter of authority and credibility. The atmosphere in the room became extremely grim. As a saviour, Kamilah swept into the living room, smiling.

"Dinner is ready," she said, eyeing everyone in the room suspiciously, "but I'd like to wait for Patrick before we start."

"Have a seat honey," her father pointed to the couch, right beside where Ashley was sitting.

Before Kamilah made her way to her seat, the front door flew open, letting in an excited Patrick. His hair was ruffled up and he was smiling like a kid on Christmas morning. There were some papers in his hand, and a few of them blew away, leaving a trail on the floor. He rushed right through the living room and into the depths of the house, leaving everyone else stunned at what just happened.

"Patrick?" Kamilah asked concerned, getting up to walk after him, but he reappeared in the doorway.

"We've found it," he proclaimed to the whole room, "we've finally found it."

"Found what honey?"

"The artefact," he screamed, too excited to listen to more questions, "something that we've been looking for all along yet nothing like we imagined. It is magnificent, fantastic."

"Sweetheart," Kamilah put her hand on his shoulder, trying to calm him down slightly. "What artefact? What's fantastic?"

"I don't know," Patrick couldn't stop moving, Kamilah's hand left in the air where his shoulder just was, "but it's Prothean. We don't know the meaning of it yet, or what it does, but it has to be important, it absolutely has to be. This is a discovery of a lifetime, think of where I can go from here, our whole crew, this is so big."

Everybody was still slightly taken back, staring at Patrick. Josh was more surprised than anyone else, mostly because that was the most he heard Patrick say in a day since he arrived. Josh did not know exactly how to classify this little outburst, but whatever was found had to be important, especially if it was Prothean. The Citadel Council owed its existence to the Prothean's, and more than half of the Council races' technology as well. Without their ancient technologies, space travel as it existed today would never be possible.

"That's fantastic," Kamilah didn't even come close to matching her husband's intensity, "but we have guests right now. Your sister, my dad, dinner.... Remember?"

"What? Whe...? I mean yeah, sure, dinner," the man felt misplaced. "I know, sorry. Let's eat."

"Want to change first?" Kamilah smiled, leading her husband into the house.

Everyone else was left sitting in the quiet room. Josh could not fathom what was going through the minds of others, but he had his own thoughts on one thing. It seemed that there would have to be some control to salvage the evening and make it go as smoothly as possible. After all, it was Kamilah's big event for the year to have her dad visit. As important as the discovery of a Prothean artefact was, there had to be emphasis on the now. Besides, none of the people present were archaeologists outside of Patrick. Hopefully, he'd mellow out for the rest of the night.


	16. Chapter 15: Can't Escape

Disclaimer: Obviously all of the game characters, places etc. are creative property of BioWare.

BETA READER: AblatedCrayon

**Chapter 15**

**Can't Escape**

_Sometimes you find your destiny on the road you took to avoid it._

_Louis Salinger (The International, Motion Picture)_

Josh slowly made his way down the hallways of the ES-Corp building. Unlike most of other buildings on Eden Prime, ES-Corps maintained the 'modern look' rather than going back to an older feel. Their building looked menacing and geometric from the outside. Sharp edges and silver walls with the lights reflecting perfectly of them. It did not curve around a corner, but rather stood straight in the ground, reaching for the sky. ES-Corp building was the tallest building on Eden Prime, allowing it to tower over the rest, and also showing that, in fact, when the Alliance wasn't involved, ES-Corp was in control.

The company started as a simple security enterprise, planting roots right here on Eden Prime. However, the ambitious owners expanded quickly. Through clever marketing campaigns, ES-Corp was able to tie its image closely to that of Eden Prime's success. A number of other colonies, advised by the Alliance, requested ES-Corps involvement on their planets. From that, the business started to grow.

Eventually, ES-Corp made a move to expand beyond security and rebrand its own image. Because of the success of Eden Prime, a small department that dealt with scientific research, and despite its size it was one of the most prominent departments in the company. With security contracts with over a dozen human colonies, ES-Corp began to tie in certain 'fine print' agreements, including those that allowed their science department a certain amount of leeway when it came to research and digs. Eden Prime was only one of the few planets on which ES-Corps security operate for which Alliance had exclusivity in terms of science and archaeology.

Outside of science, ES-Corp's interests expanded over many different fields. A few years ago they tried to participate in interplanetary business, and now were nurturing that infant department as well. Even though ES-Corp's operations extended far beyond security at the present, their name stood to symbolize their roots and perhaps to remind everyone that a little ambition goes a long way when it comes to business.

The inside did not impress Josh anymore than the outside did. As any other successful business at the current time, at least in the human network, ES-Corps did not bother with aesthetic decorations such as paintings or carpets. The name of the game was efficiency and progress and nothing associated with those words more than cold metal hallways all on the same side of the spectrum, with little to no turns. Josh found the office that he needed with no problem.

The pretty young secretary raised her blue eyes at him and quickly banged a few keys on her personal assistant. "Mr. Dri I presume?" She asked.

"Yeah," Josh scratched the back of his head, "I am here to see Mr. Thompson."

"Yes," the secretary's device seemed to confirm what Josh just said, "go right through, he is in his office, straight down the hallway and to the left."

Josh nodded, and after muttering a quick 'thank you' moved forward. He was a man who stared at the eyes of death a number of times, spent last nine years of his life amongst the most reputable scumbags of the universe, dealing with mercenaries, thieves, murderers, even befriending a krogan. However, despite all of that experience, being in a business environment such as this intimidated him more. For some reason, the cold, hard nature of the business brought out the worst in humans, even more so than armed conflict.

The door was open and Josh took the liberty to step in. The man at the desk was about his age, dressed in a suit, looking intently at something on the screen in front of him. Noticing Josh, the man looked up and flashed a smile. His appearance reminded Josh of a fold out from one of those fancy fashion magazines, a picture of 'prince charming,' proving once again that the world of business was more about first impressions and appearances than about actual business conducted.

"Mr. Dri," the man got up and stretched his hand out, "Antoine Thompson, nice to meet you."

"Likewise," Josh tried to smile, awkwardly.

"Today is a very interesting day for us," Antoine said in a more of an 'aside' fashion than actually speaking to anyone, "so if you do not mind I'll be brief. Please have a seat."

"No problem at all," Josh said, sitting down in the chair at which Antoine pointed.

"As you may well be aware," Antoine went on, "we are no longer a security focused company; actually, our reach extends far beyond where we started. Our company deals with many different aspects of human integrations and life in the new universe, the one that came after the discovery of mass relays. That said, we thrive for every single department to operate at maximum efficiency and portray the best possible representation of ES-Corps. So, while you're dealing primarily with security concerns and services, it is important to remember that you are still a part of ES-Corp and all you say and do reflects on the company as a whole. You understand where I'm leading right?"

"Most certainly sir," Josh reassured Antoine with a response.

"Good," Antoine smiled as he picked up a file from his table, "now when it comes to your employment. We have taken a closer look at your record, and have asked for the Alliance official records, which is why this quick orientation was so delayed. I apologize for that, but we don't hire just anyone. After the review of your profile, we have renegotiated your position."

"Sir?"

"I understand you applied for regular security duty, is that not so Mr. Dri?" Antoine opened the file and was looking at it intently.

"Yes sir," Josh was slightly lost. This was feeling like a worse idea with every moment.

"Now," Antoine smiled, closing and setting down the file, "given your experience with the Alliance and personal profile, we believe that we would not be utilizing your knowledge and talents to a full potential if we simply stuck you in the field. As of today, your initial position with the company is an _in-field security consultant_. You still receive a weapon and will be participating in regular security duties from time to time, but your primary objective is to ensure that we are operating efficiently and that our employees are on top of their duties. You will also be free to make recommendations on any future contracts here on Eden Prime and on improving our security department. This is our offer."

"Sir," Josh felt lost for words, but he tried to talk anyways, "it seems like a generous offer, however, I am slightly confused considering I applied to be a simple security operative, this feels like a leap from there."

"As I said before," Antoine smiled again making him appear even more sleazy, "we take pride in expanding on our enterprises and utilizing our employees to their full potential. We believe you will benefit us the most at a different position, also you get more benefits and higher pay. However, you always reserve the right to refuse."

"No," Josh said without hesitation despite the unexpected development, "I don't mind at all, I was just slightly confused. Thank you for this opportunity sir."

"That would be all then," Antoine said in a dismissive tone, "all official forms and documents can be picked up on Lower Level 1, while your office is on the Ground Level. However," he stopped Josh from leaving completely, "even though its your first day, you need to supervise one operation."

"What is it sir?" Josh turned back.

"The discovery," Antoine went on, "the Prothean beacon, it is to be transported today. It would be part of your duties to supervise the co-operation with the Alliance and make sure everything goes right. That's all."

"I'll get right on that sir," Josh said reassuringly and left the office, leaving the sleazy excutive to himself.

Without any delays Josh made his way to the elevator which then slowly took him down to the Lower Level 1. The underground area of the ES-Corp was far less aesthetically welcoming than the part above the ground, if that was even possible. It seemed that this was the are which none of the visitor's see. The hallways were still quite lifeless, except that it was evident that they weren't cleaned as often and perhaps the maintenance staff was on vacation for at least two months.

"Joshua Dri?" the front desk clerk of the supply department looked up as Josh approached.

"In flesh," Josh said.

"Very well," the man said, placing a small I.D. card on the table with Josh's picture on it, "here is your identification, you'll need that to get into your office, as well as to have access to the company extranet connection and for your work. Here is your weapon, that will be all."

Josh looked down at the Striker II pistol laying on the desk before him. The fact that ES-Corps was supplied by Elanus Risk Control spoke volumes for their reputation and credibility. Most human security companies dealt with Hahne Kedar for their supplies, like the Alliance. Though favoured by many security corporations and mercenaries outside of the human network, ERCS was not actively supplying much to human security companies, considering the incline of the Alliance to encourage 'domestic' purchasing.

Josh nodded as he picked up the pistol and slid it inside the holster under his suit. He felt uncomfortable dressed like that, but both Kamilah and Sarah agreed that it was better that he was dressed well for his first day at the company and more importantly for the meeting with one of the executives on Eden Prime. It seemed that the move proved to have even more benefits, as after a change in his position, Josh would probably have to dress slightly different from a regular security personnel.

"Mr. Dri," a young man greeted him as soon as he left the supply room, "I am Aaron Lively, I am to escort you to the beacon?"

"Let's get going then," Josh said as he followed the young man out of the building, still questioning his choice to join ES-Corp beside Sarah's objection.

MExMExMExME

The trip to the beacon was quiet and uneventful, allowing Josh more time to muse over the recent developments, ignoring the beauty of Eden Prime completely for the first time since he got there. There was a big question hanging over his future and most of all Josh wanted to figure out whether or not he liked being tied down to Eden Prime or at the very least to ES-Corp. It seemed that while a security guard could be easily replaced, a security consultant would be more of an entrenched position.

The kid that was accompanying Josh was even quieter than he was. Aaron seemed to pay very little attention to Josh's musings and simply stared out the window the whole time. Josh wanted to ask him how he ended up working for ES-Corp but decided against it, after all, if the kid ended up escorting him everywhere, the time for conversation would come eventually, perhaps now would not be the best time.

After the light rail transport carried both of them to the dig site, there was a fair amount of walking, but Josh treaded through in silence, just like the train ride, still slightly confused by his premise. The dig site was humming with scientists and a few of the ES-Corp employees, with no Alliance presence at the moment, which surprised Josh. Closing his gaze to everything, Josh focused on the beacon. It was like nothing he has ever seen before in his life. The Prothean creation captured his imagination within an instant of looking at it.

It didn't look especially special, but more like a miniature tower sticking out of a support base. The light blue strip of lights rose up on either side of the beacon, glowing eerily. The beacon seemed to be operational, making it an even more important discovery than it already was. Last time humanity discovered operational Prothean technology it launched them into the new Golden Age and lead to integration into the Citadel community.

"Mr. Dri," An older man dressed in ES-Corp security uniform approached Josh, "Mak Carrell, transfer supervisor."

"Josh Dri," Josh said, looking around, and noticing Patrick in the crowd of scientists, "what's the status? How come there is no Alliance military staff?"

"Sir," Mak did not hesitate, "we are to transport this to the transit rail on our own, then to hand it to Alliance personnel."

"Carry on then," Josh said, unconfident, "don't let me get in your way."

For the duration of the whole operation Josh decided to hang back and observe, after all, that was his duty to begin with. Trying to interfere with the procedure would not be good and he wanted to fully grasp what he was dealing with at this new position. Observation seemed like the most prudent and full proof strategy at the moment.

Josh stood at the side as a group of ES-Corp employees carefully surrounded the beacon, working not too touch it. One of the scientists rolled out a mechanical contraption. The metal pincers opened up and closed carefully around the beacon. None of the metal touched the actual Prothean relic, a small force field emitted instead, wrapping around the beacon and balancing it in mid-air.

The procession moved slow. The ES-Corp employees controlled the pace and dared not speed up beyond a slow drag. The beacon balanced perfectly and stably in the device. Most of the science crew was not with the main movement, remaining behind to gather whatever else they could from the dig site.

Josh hung back from the main movement, watching as ES-Corp guards moved carefully, always paying attention to their surroundings. Even he thought that that kind of caution was slightly arbitrary in their situation however. There was no real threat, at least not on Eden Prime, one of the most stable human colonies. The only attack could have been from humans, and not only was the discovery of the beacon kept confidential, those who knew realized the scope and the level of importance of the Prothean beacon for humanity.

Through the docks, the beacon was further moved onto a rail transport. Josh did not walk up too close to it, preferring to not interfere at all. From afar he saw Kamilah sign a number of papers after Mak handed them to her. The two exchanged a few brief words, and went on their separate ways. A few seconds after ES-Corp employees cleared the platform, the transport started moving slowly, before accelerating and disappearing. Josh finally took his attention off the beacon and turned to see Mak coming towards him.

"That would be all for today sir," he said quickly.

"Okay," Josh stretched the pause to gather his thoughts, "what are the daily duties for the guards then?"

"Regular patrols of the dig site, some guard checkpoints are stationed around as well," Mak declared, "a few of them in direct co-operation with the Alliance military."

"Everyone should get to it then," Josh said quietly, "I will use today to familiarize myself with the daily routine operations." He paused about ready to walk away before noticing that Mak was still staring at him, waiting for something, for that metaphorical 'dismissed.' "We're done here Mak."

When the rest of the security guards cleared the platform Josh turned to Aaron, "shall we get something to eat?"

"Sir?" the young man stared questionably.

"You're supposed to escort me today right? Well I can't familiarize myself with the standard procedures on an empty stomach. ES-Corp expects me to do my job well, and to do my job well I should be well fed. Do you have any suggestions?"

"The standard cafeteria," Aaron shrugged, "ran by the scientific and archaeological staff. Since we're employed through the Alliance, we get access to the cafeteria during duty. I am sure there will be no problem for you to get some food there sir."

"Done," Josh said, "lead the way."

The young man took a few steps forward and Josh followed. Both were somewhat unsure in their posture. Aaron was most likely worried because this was his first impression on the new in-field security consultant, Josh because he still couldn't figure out what this job meant to both him and others and how he should carry himself. He would have to leave those thoughts for a later day however. Before the two made any significant progress towards the cafeteria sharp bursts of the assault rifle were heard in the distance.

"What the..." Aaron cussed as Josh sped right past him.

Josh's feet were moving split seconds after the shots. The experience of his past nine years showed clearly in how sharp his movements were, Aaron struggled just to keep up. As they moved, the sound of gunshots grew louder, and a new noise entered the equation. Frantic human screaming, something that sounded like commands being shouted was heard in the distance. Josh had his gun ready within seconds. The noise amplified. Josh paused, ducking behind cover, pulling Aaron to a stop with his free hand and slamming him behind him. His index finger went up to his mouth and then pointed at the young man's weapon. Hesitantly, Aaron pulled out his own pistol.

"Sir..." he whispered.

Josh brought his finger up to his mouth again, demanding full silence. The gunshots that were closest to them seized, the ones in the distance remained. Josh slowly edged himself to the corner of his cover, peeking out of cover. When he saw the mechanic bodies of the assailants, his mind refused to believe his eyes. A number of descriptions of various creatures raced through his mind, but only one clearly matched the description, however it didn't make sense. The geth have not crossed the Perseus Veil in centuries.

_Hell of a first day_, Josh cursed inside his own head.

His back was pressed against the cold wall of the pod he was using for cover, his mind playing out all of the possible scenarios. There were only three of them, synthetic life forms, incapable of individual thought if the textbooks were to be believed, however when in the proximity of one another their intelligence took a significant leap. Thank God he had his amp with him. He had to move quick. What happened next Josh did almost on reflex.

With a quick jerk, his body turned the corner, the biotic barrier going up almost as a second thought around his body. The synthetics did not even register his movements as a quick burst from a pistol tore through the shields and through the metallic shell of one of the geth. The other two turned, firing in Josh direction. His body went into a roll on instinct, when it came up, Josh's free hand was already throwing itself forward, sending a quick push. One of the geth fell backwards while the other one regained balanced quickly, but caught three bullets in the shields, followed by two into its core.

Josh found himself crouching behind a small boulder and waiting for the next opportunity. The last geth has regained its balance and was slowly making its way towards his hiding spot, there was very little time to come up with something.

Aaron peeked from behind the corner to check on the fighting, but before he could even open his mouth bullets rung against his cover and the young man stumbled backwards. The last synthetic was in full stride now, rushing towards the young man. Josh took this opportunity as he quickly aimed and loosed a dozen or so shots into the machine's back. The geth gave out a few un-human squeals as its body collapsed onto the ground, sparks coming out of its back. The immediate situation was dealt with, but the echo of distant gunfire reminded Josh that his first day on the job was only starting to get interesting.

With measured steps Josh approached the last geth remains, with one foot he flipped the mechanical carcass over. Aaron was up and beside him by the time, the young man still visibly shaken by the experience. His face was completely pale and he was mumbling.

"Are those..." he said quietly, not willing to believe his own eyes, "but this can't be... They're supposed to be behind the Veil."

"And today is supposed to be just a regular day," Josh said, kneeling over the corpse, trying to look for something useful but finding nothing. "Nothing ever goes as planned."

He reached into the geth core through the opening created by the bullets. His fingers pressed against something hard. Josh was not familiar with the geth anatomy at all, as far as he knew he could be pressing a self destruct mechanism, but he wanted to confirm it were the geth. Stupid in retrospect, considering he knew nothing of the synthetics' antomy. Aaron's trembling hand landed on his shoulder, tapping it frantically.

"What," Josh turned, but quickly followed Aaron's gaze which was a mixture of amazement and pure, uncontrollable fear. "What..."

Josh felt his own gaze mimicking that of Aaron's, but he was powerless to change it. What he saw was beyond description. He couldn't figure out if it was ship or something else, but it was absolutely huge by Citadel standards. There were metallic appendages extending from the hull, they almost looked like fingers, extending out of a fist. The giant 'thing' was slowly moving through the Eden Prime air, the sky around it lit up with a few smaller ships circling. Josh could see a few sparks, followed by metallic trails left through the air, he figured those were pods.

"Let's keep moving," he said, voice still shaken, "we'll figure this riddle out later."

"Sir," Aaron stood still in his place, his voice trembling, soaked with fear, "perhaps we should consider retreating?"

"Where to?" Josh asked, "we don't even know what they're here for, but I am willing to bet it's that beacon. Everything will be turned on its head. We're better off moving forward, helping out the Alliance, regrouping. Gather yourself."

Still shaken Aaron got in line none the less, following Josh closely. Josh moved slowly, his Alliance training kicking in again. He felt each step with the bottom of his feet, measured each movement, and kept the balanced speed between too fast and too slow. This was recon basics, except no body taught recon basics with a score of hostile synthetics around or a behemoth of a space vessel hanging overhead.

As they turned the next corner Josh fought back a strong desire to hurl. Two geth were setting human corpses onto something that looked like a triangular stand. As soon as Josh came into view, giant spikes extended from the base of the contraptions, piercing all the humans on them through the chest. Josh recognized ES-Corp uniforms on the victims, but had no time for a moment of silence, the geth opened fire almost immediately.

Without a second thought Josh dropped to the ground, throwing his hand forward once again. His biotic powers were weaker now, rusty from lack of practice but lift worked on of his opponents. For the other one, Josh took careful aim and fired off a score of bullets. Before the biotic lift released, Josh charged forward, with a combo roll he swooped a shotgun from the geth's dead body, arming it as he got up. As soon as his biotic power released the enemy, a loud shotgun blast rang through the air. No shield was able to withstand a direct burst of such force.

After both enemies were down Josh allowed himself to look around, wait for Aaron. The younger recruit came out from cover, still trembling.

"I'm sorry sir," he said, tears swelling in his eyes, "I don't think I can go on. I mean I can't even fire a gun."

"Then why the fuck do you have one," Josh said while studying the gruesome devices that held the pierced bodies above his head, only then did Aaron notice too. The young man emptied his breakfast in front of him. No doubt it looked much worse than it did in the morning going down.

"Sir," Aaron said, wiping his mouth, "I can't go, please, just let me hide."

Josh looked around again. This was one of the few research camps that they passed on their way with a beacon, there were two small containers adopted into working space for the Alliance archaeologists. The door was sealed for one of them, the other one stood open. Josh walked up to the closed container and gave two loud bangs, nothing. He repeated the procedure, followed by his own voice, "open up, we're human."

A few beeps rang inside and the door slid open revealing a female scientist, "thank God, rescue." There was incoherent mumbling coming from inside the work space.

"Not quite," Josh said, grabbing Aaron by the collar and throwing him in, "sit tight kid."

"What is the meaning of this," the female archaeologist barely dodged the incoming human torpedo as Aaron found himself on the floor.

"Ma'am," Josh said, "please stay put for now, lock the door again and don't answer for any knocks without proper identification. Are there any other scientists lost?"

"Patrick and his crew were still at the dig site when I left," the woman said confidently, "I am not sure if they got to any cover in time."

"Thanks," Josh said, turning and walking away, he heard the door behind him close shut.

Josh stopped for a second, he needed to re-evaluate the situation. Every single bit of him was screaming, cursing his own life. This was the first day of his new life, yet somehow it managed to look exactly like the rest of it. Every time he tried to escape something kept pulling him back into the violent turmoil without asking. Just when everything was going so right, he was getting back on his feet. This was no regular raid either, not mercenaries or pirates, these were the geth, a synthetic life form that was assumed to have abandoned Citadel space, and yet they were here.

Josh didn't know what was happening, but he knew for sure he'd rather be anywhere else but on Eden Prime. If he was asked to mate with a krogan female instead, he would probably prefer that unpleasant alternative. Something pulled bad things towards him, no matter how much he wanted to escape. Josh wanted to scream, but considering his premise, that would not be a smart thing to do. He had archaeologists to find.

Patrick, Kamilah's husband. The man was clumsy, as typical of many intellectuals completely absorbed by their work, getting by on the high of each discovery. He was probably dead by now. Geth had no feelings, no way to differentiate between a scientist and a soldier, or no need for hostages if they could. The realist side of Josh told him to turn, to run, to take Aaron's advice and disappear again, leave it all behind. Kamilah's image slid into his head.

He couldn't leave her, not now, not after all she had done for him. She opened her doors, allowed him to stay and offered a chance to start over, even though she had her own family to think of. If there was even the slightest chance Patrick was alive, Josh had to get to him. Not for himself, but for his friend. An Alliance girl, she could hold her own, but he needed to find Patrick because the archaeologist couldn't, and if he wasn't helped he'd probably be dead, if he wasn't already.

Instead of taking the sloped walkway down Josh chose to take the 'route less travelled.' The steeper hill promised a fall but it took him around the dig site, to the opposite end of the camp. He slowly manoeuvred over the hill slope to get the best angle for decent. As his foot planted itself, a few more shots rang out. Josh, startled by the noise, allowed his foot to slip, his hand grasping frantically at the ledge was the only thing that prevented his body from tumbling down. The rest of the descent he was more careful.

Once on solid, flat ground, Josh took haste to duck behind the closest rock for cover, buying time to study the situation. For a second it was suspiciously quiet.

A series of shots rang through the air, a female sticking out from behind a boulder she must have used for cover, aiming at two geth. The two synthetics were very close to Josh, but could not see him, too focused on the other target. The woman was holding her own, but suddenly, she lost her footing, tumbling onto her back.

Without a moment's hesitation, Josh pocked out of cover, his gun shooting before he even had time to aim. The body of one geth twitched violently and gave out a screeching noise before crumbling down. Josh turned his aim and pressed the trigger again. Instead of the sound of a shot he heard the beeping noise of the heat sensor informing him of an overload. The geth was already fully turned and taking aim. Before the synthetic had time to fire his body twitched violently a number of times over, riddled with bullets.

Josh turned his head expecting to thank the woman, who he assumed recovered from her fall and shot the remaining enemy. To his surprise he saw two more people helping her up. The Alliance soldier who was in trouble turned out to be Ashley Williams, Josh could see that much from afar. The man he didn't know, nor did he think that the man was from the Eden Prime force. The other woman that was standing there... He couldn't believe his eyes. It couldn't be... Yet it was...

Shepard.

_Well fuck me running_, Josh thought, _this just keeps getting better and better._ Without hesitation, he quickly made his way over to the small group.

"Somebody better give me a fucking update," Shepard was in her 'work' mode from the get-go. The fact that she was here didn't signal anything good, at least not until she saw Josh. "Really?" she was more taken aback than he was when he saw here, "well this is a surprise. Long time."

Josh was silent, he simply nodded and turned to Ashley, stretching his arm down to help her get up. The gunnery chief ignored his gesture, brushing right past his hand as she stabilized on her own two feet. The man that appeared with Shepard never lost his guard, his assault rifle was at the read with his head turning every five seconds, scanning most possible angles.

"Gunner Chief Ashley Williams," Ash quickly straightened out and saluted Steph, "at your service..."

"Commander Shepard," Stephanie quickly responded, still not losing her guard. "I'll get the rest of the information later," she added before turning to Josh, "what the fuck is going on here?"

Josh shrugged and pointed to the archaeological site, "they've found a Prothean artefact, but I guess you already know that." From the lack of reaction on Shepard's face Josh assumed his guess was right. "We've just transferred it to a different location in order to pass it on to the Alliance, which I assume is you representing at the moment. After that, shit turned sideways and the geth appeared."

"It's impossible," Ashley butted in, "the geth have not been seen outside of the..."

"We'll think about what's impossible after we handle the situation," Stephanie was short on words, as always. "This is Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko, he is with me. I suggest that we save the rest of the conversational pleasantries for a latter occasion and move on to where you moved the beacon. Josh?"

"Right this way, _Commander,_" he tried hard not to sound at least slightly mocking, but he could tell in the look he received from Kaidan, Ashley, and Shepard herself that it didn't work.

All four moved cautiously ahead of the dig site. There were a few rocks as well as other natural formations to serve as cover. When not knowing the nature of the danger that they were dealing with the Alliance always preferred a more levelled approach. This time it appeared to be more prudent than ever.

As Josh pressed his back against the cold stone again he peeked over the top of it just enough to make out three geth foot-soldiers standing by the dig site. Apparently they seemed confused by the absence of the artefact, which meant that they haven't found it yet. That was a good thing, it provided much needed time and strategical advantage of higher knowledge. He felt Shepard press her own back against cover and peak as well. She looked across the pathway where Ashley and Kaidan were pressed up against a fallen tree.

"Up ahead?" she asked.

"Yeah," Josh muttered, "that's the dig site, but it's been moved already. Just up that hill through the scientists' camp and towards the rail, from there it's a straight shot. We expected the Alliance to take a more direct approach."

"Have to account for all possibilities," Stephanie responded in her usual, un-shaken manner.

"When you're right..." Josh sighed.

Shepard's hand went up, three fingers raised and two bent. Ashley and Kaidan clearly saw the gesture, Kaidan choosing the pistol now that the Gunner Chief was handling the heavy weaponry duty. One by one, Stephanie lowered her fingers. When the index pressed down against her palm all three moved. Josh felt as if he was going to fall behind in their calculated manoeuvre, but the nine years of his wild chase kept him sharp, perhaps slightly ahead of the curve.

As the soldiers went up the geth didn't even have a moment to react. It only took three shots, one from each pistol as well as a calculated burst from the assault rifle to make work of the enemies. Slowly the four moved into the dig zone, covering each other's flanks and looking around for any other visible threats.

"Keep moving," Shepard looked at Josh as she said the words. There seemed to be a little bit of surprise in her look, mixed with an adequate dose of anger.

As the four moved up the steep hill Josh caught Ashley, who was in charge of his flank, glancing a few looks his way. He couldn't help but have a small smile appear on his face. For all their bickering he assumed the Gunner Chief never believed anything that Kamilah said of him.... Kamilah. _FUCK!_

She must have seen the ship though, heard the shots. She would be in the middle of the base, well protected and secure, able to organize a proper defence. Unless they wouldn't come to the base, the beacon wasn't there; the enemy didn't need to create extra trouble. Josh could only hope that she had the patience to sit tight and wait for any possible reinforcements and/or an explanation. After all, she had her dad to worry about.

Josh calmed himself down with the thought that she'd be safe, she'd never leave his dad. That made his task so much easier, escort Shepard to the transport, point her in the direction of the beacon and hope that her little three man band handles any resistance they might encounter. He, on the other hand, had to find Patrick. Kamilah would be too pre-occupied, and besides, he didn't want her jumping straight in the middle of the fire to look for her husband, he had to do it for her.

Josh was shaken from his thoughts by a gruesome sight. At the top of the hill, right next to the science encampment where he safely stowed away his earlier companion, there was something else to be afraid off. In the middle of the clearing, three metal spikes have been erected. On top of each there was a humanoid body, yet it didn't look even remotely human. It was drained, drained of everything. It's skin, if one could call it that, was pitch black with blue veins running all through it, little streams ran through the veins.

Josh heard of something like this. He couldn't remember what the process was called, but the end result yielded 'husks' a humanoid form of artificial intelligence resulting from geth drainage. They were mindless beasts with any trait of humanity abolished once the process was finished. He knew that they wouldn't make for a pretty site, but what he was seeing now seemed to be out of a different world entirely. Everyone else seemed to share his first impression, the four faces locked in a collective 'what the fuck' expression.

One of the spikes moved. First slowly, then it plummeted to the ground, the other three followed. Before anyone realised what happened all three husks were rushing towards the group. Their mouth was making an inaudible sound, something straight out of a horror novel, a low humming resembling that of a TV static.

Josh was the first to react, he fired two quick shots into one creature's head, that seemed to slow it down but not to stop it. Ashley was firing off quick bursts with the assault rifle and that seemed to do very little as well. Kaidan and Shepard backed up against the wall, still firing from their pistols yet both left hands reaching for shotgun's on their backs. One of the husks was closing in on Ashley who was struggling with an overheated weapon. She didn't have time.

Josh reacted quickly, pistol holstered he rolled towards the Gunnery Chief, as his body came up and straightened out slightly into a crouched position his right arm extended to grab the shotgun positioned slightly above Ashley's backside. Him, Shepard, and Kaidan fired almost simultaneously, three loud burst sounds flowing melodically into a loud bang. The husks fell, one inches from where Ashley was standing.

"Keep your guard up," Josh said, attempting to keep a lighter tone as he got up and handed the shotgun back to its rightful owner.

Ashley still seemed froze, the expression of unknown terror stuck on her face. After a few seconds she came to and grabbed her weapon back without saying a word. Shepard and Kaidan were already scouting the area, Lieutenant looking into one of the huts.

"That one is fine," Josh said quickly, "I stowed away a few people in there, they couldn't get back to base. It's not quite safe yet to let them out yet."

Kaidan looked to Shepard for approval. Commander nodded and the group moved along. There was very little time to waste.

As they made their way over another ridge a loud and distinct sound of a single pistol shot rang through the air. Shepard paused for a second, listening, trying to determine where the sound came from. Kaidan looked a little worried.

"Press on," Shepard concluded after a split second.

The group moved towards the cargo dock, met right away with shots from the geth in the distance. Josh could notice more spike-like contractions retracting which only meant one thing...

"Josh," Shepard spoke, throwing him her own shotgun, "you've got the husks, we'll cover you from up here from the actual troopers. Move."

Josh caught the weapon with a lightning quick strike and rolled over one of the collapsed pillars towards the danger. As he was sliding against the cold concrete his left hand went up by instinct throwing up a quick shield around himself. In the heat of battle he almost forgot he was a biotic, seemed that Shepard remembered. A few shots brushed against his shield but none came through, the geth in the distance were falling. Stephanie remained the markswoman she always was. Josh decided to turn his attention to the husks that were closing in.

With a quick move he threw his left hand up towards one of the enemies, throwing a biotic push his way and felling the creature off his stride. As he rotated his body slightly, Josh put his right leg forward, right arm coming up with the shotgun serving as a natural extension. This was an action movie pause, but he didn't care. With one quick blast he relieved an incoming husk of his head, the body took a few more steps before collapsing at Josh's feet.

With a turn around, still feeling the force of the recoil in his right shoulder Josh quickly cocked the shotgun again, turning back just in time to meet the second husk running on him. A quick blast stopped the enemy in his tracks as it fell to its knees. That however wasn't enough. The husk was struggling forward, almost within reach of Josh, and not enough time to 'clutch' the shotgun for another shot. Josh quickly lowered the handle of the weapon onto the enemy's reaching arm, but before it made contact the body twitched some more, penetrated by a quick burst from an assault rifle.

_Note to self, thank Ashley later_, Josh quickly thanked his ally's reaction this time while turning to face the final husk who seemed to have recovered from the biotic attack and was charging once again. Josh grinned, grabbing the shotgun for precise aim and moved towards the enemy. The first two shots made sure the creature never got up again, the other two were unnecessary but he still took them.

Josh quickly holstered the shotgun behind his back, pulling out his pistol yet again. He could feel that his shield has worn down, however there was no more reason for worry, the shooting has stopped. Shepard and her follower joined him and Ashley as they slowly walked towards the docking area. As they approached, Josh saw something in the distance, Shepard saw it as well. Her arm shot up as a signal to slow the approach and all four were on guard within an instance. As they edged closer Josh realized what they were looking at. It was a body, a Turian body.

Shepard quickly made her way towards the corpse and turned it over onto its back with one motion. Quickly she unclenched one of the chest armour plates, throwing it to the side, her hand pressing gently against the turian's chest, checking for vitals.

"Is that?" Kaidan said his first words since their encounter, "is that who I think it is?"

Shepard nodded, getting up slowly. "Yes, that's Nihlus."

"Is he..." it seemed that the male Lieutenant didn't even have the stomach to pronounce the word 'dead.'

Shepard nodded again.

"A turian," Josh said, lowering his pistol. "A turrian on an Alliance mission? You owe me an explanation Steph, a very long and thorough one at that. Alliance rarely brings other races on missions unless it is sanctioned by the Council to do so. And judging from this one's armour and weapons, he's not just any turian... Seems to be pretty high up the food chain, perhaps even beyond the Council's immediate regulations... What the fu..."

He didn't have time to finish. A ringing noise came from behind one of the crates. As if on cue, all four of them had their weapons ready, pointing in the direction of the sudden noise, ready to shoot whomever or whatever it was in the head.

"Don't shoot," a suppressed squeal came from behind the crate, followed by a set of raised arms and then a scared mug of a dock worker, "please don't shoot. My name is Powell, I am part of the work crew here."

"What happened here," Shepard was strict, her assault rifle still aiming between the man's eyes. At this range she wouldn't miss. Ever.

"I don't know," the man seemed sincere and sounded scared, a very unstable combination, "we loaded the beacon and then... Then, these creatures showed up, killed a few workers. I was lucky enough to be behind one of the crates..." the man pause seemingly ashamed of what came next. "Having a quick nap, resting my eyes between shifts."

Josh smirked, he liked the idea of the common man. Unconditioned for any danger, ready to avoid anything that may potentially threaten his well being, even the lack of sleep. He knew the man was not telling the full story, but he wondered if Shepard did. After all she was the moral leader, the one who always pushed forth and persevered, set an example. People like her often saw the best in me, she was willing to give too much credit.

Unlike Stephanie, Josh knew. He saw the shadows and the dark corners of the universe, saw every race at his worst. He saw 'honest' business men shed blood and backstab anyone who stopped in their way, and 'dangerous' and 'unstable' Krogan mercenaries behave with honour unknown to him before. This was a world full of surprise and Stephanie hasn't recognized it for what it was... yet.

"Yeah," the man went on, "when I was about to come out the turian showed up, joined by another right after... I think that one's name was Saren... I'm not sure, I could be wrong, couldn't hear very well. Anyways, the second one shot this one and moved on."

"Where?" Shepard responded before the man could even finish his sentence.

"Towards the cargo transport," the man pointed forward towards the rail. "I'm guessing he wants the beacon, we just moved it today."

"Good," Shepard went on, "stay here for a bit, when it's safe go rejoin the colony."

The man nodded and ducked straight behind the crate he appeared from as the group pressed on. Josh took point. He knew where they were going better than anyone else, having travelled the path earlier in the day. Earlier, when everything was that much simpler and that much calmer on Eden Prime. As they approached the train, the squad was met with a few more blasts from the geth occupying the transport. The four spread quickly and ducked into separate cover. The quick shoot off ended within seconds, it seemed that everyone involved had exceptional aim.

As Shepard led her squad onto the train Josh paused, looking in a completely opposite direction. Shepard turned to face him, questioning the action with her facial expression.

"Go," Josh said quickly, "it's straight on from here. I need to make sure that the rest of the colony is relatively safe. I'll rendezvous with you by the beacon."

"I hope you know what you're doing," Shepard said, and without any more hesitation led Ashley and Kaidan with her towards the front of the transport and the control switch board.

Josh stood for a few more seconds studying their backs and then turned and started moving in the opposite direction. Within seconds his measured walk with the pistol at his sights turned into a full on sprint over the ridge covered surface of Eden Prime. He could feel his breath getting shorter and his lungs expanding in his chest, it hurt, but he couldn't afford to stop. The colony was just behind the next hill, he had to make sure it was alright.

As he cleared the last obstacle and appeared on the horizon, Josh was met with the shots coming from the barricade set up at the entrance to the colony. He quickly threw up another shield feeling the exhaustion from rediscovering his biotic abilities and raised his hands up.

"Friendly," his shout should have reached the ears of the shooters, but just in case. "FRIENDLY!"

The firing stopped, but Josh didn't want to risk it. The rest of the distance between him and the colony he covered in slow, measured steps, his pistol at his waste. As he approached, the guards did not lower their weapons. Josh recognized one of them as the cocky young shit who met him when he first arrived, the soldier's hands trembling.

"Stand down," Josh heard Kamilah's voice and the soldiers' grip on their weapons relaxed, "he's one of ours. Josh, thank God you're alright, what happened."

"Geth," Josh said quickly closing the distance between him and his friend, "I'm guessing they're here for the beacon. There is more."

He paused, looking around, a few more soldiers were staring at him. Kamilah read his thoughts and gave a silent signal for everyone to go back to their posts. She grabbed Josh by his hand and dragged him towards one of the houses. Once inside she made sure the door was locked tightly behind them.

"Shepard is here," Josh said once he was sure no one was listening in. "With the Alliance orders, and something else, a turian accomplice, he's dead now, but there is no doubt he came with them."

"A turian?" Kamilah sounded as surprised as Josh first was when he discovered the body.

"Yeah," he went on, "and from the looks of it, not just any turian. His armour is elite grade, they don't issue those just to anyone. I'm guessing he could be as high as SPECTRE."

"Are you sure?"

"Not enough to make definite statements," Josh scavenged the kitchen for a glass before filling it up with tap water and drying it in three quick gulps. "How are things down here?"

"Not too bad," Kamilah looked out the window to make sure everything was alright, controlling the situation. "I've set up a perimeter as soon as first shots were heard. All the civilians are inside the main hall in the middle of the camp, its the hardest protected point. Soldiers are at all the entrances, I've been alternating patrols to search for more survivors."

Josh knew exactly who Kamilah meant when she said survivors but he didn't have the strength to the name out loud. He knew that his friend was worried for her husband, he could see it in her eyes, feel it in her presence.

"What should we..."

Kamilah didn't have time to say what she wanted to, a loud bang at the door interrupted their conversation. "One of the patrols has returned," they both heard come from behind the door, "and they've brought back some survivors."

Within a split-second Kamilah was at the door, throwing it open and rushing outside. Josh followed slowly. When he stepped out he saw the three man patrol come into view. They were with four scientists one of the carried by two others, bleeding from his stomach. It was Patrick.

"Medic," Kamilah sounded strong, confident, unshaken. She couldn't give up her leadership now, when the people needed her most, when the threat was still unknown, or mythical at the very least. But Josh could see through that, he was too good at reading human emotion, after all he's spent some time in a krogan's company, and he's learned to read the reptilian fairly well, a nearly impossible feat. As Patrick was carried away towards the center of the settlement by the medical staff Kamilah straightened out and exchanged a few words with the returned patrol before coming back to Josh.

"You're alright?" he asked her as she approached.

"Yeah," she said, her eyes slightly moist, but she hid that well. "They say it's not fatal and he'll be alright in a few weeks time. We have more important things to focus on. Like what to do next."

"Stay here," Josh said quickly, "I believe the only interest of the geth here is the beacon, they are headed towards it. The settlement should be safe, but just in case keep the perimeter and kill of anything that stumbles away from the group."

"And you?"

"I need to catch up with Shepard, who knows what kind of forces the geth have brought with them," Josh kept the presence of this second turian, this Saren, to himself. No need to worry anyone here.

Kamilah nodded and signalled for two men at the post. They both quickly approached her and Josh. "Private Thomas, private Taylor, you are to go with him in order to aid the Alliance. Understood?"

The two nodded. Thomas seemed slightly small to be in the military service. He appeared to be of oriental decent but the mixed quality of humanity prevented any such classification. Taylor on the other hand seemed sculpted for this kind of duty. He towered over his partner. He was of African American decent and well built, seemed tailor made for the military. Josh studied the two intently.

"Well then," he smiled, "no time to waste."

As he finished his last words his feet were already carrying him towards the exit from the camp, back to the cargo transport station. The two others followed, weapons at the ready.

"One thing first," Josh broke the silence as the three advanced, "I don't like military standards for last names, not one bit. I am Josh, and your first names would make it easier for me to not get you killed."

"Aaron," the skinny man replied first dropping into silence straight after.

"Jacob," the other guy smiled, "Jacob Taylor. And what makes you think we need your protection? It seems you may be in need of our support a bit more."

Josh smiled to himself choosing not to respond. It seemed that there was more to this Jacob than to the other soldier, he had the mannerisms of a higher ranked personnel, there had to be back story. A back story for a later time perhaps.

As the three approached the cargo station they have not encountered any resistance. It seemed Josh's initial theory was right, the enemy was here with a very defined purpose and that purpose was the beacon. The only problem remained the absence of a cargo train, Shepard used the last one. Josh turned to his companions.

"Any other way to travel on the rail?"

"The engineer's trolley," Jacob pointed to a little wagon like contraption below the docking platform with a stepladder leading towards it. "Fits one, two if we're lucky."

"Good," Josh quickly devised a strategic plan in his head. "Aaron, you're with me, we're headed towards the beacon. Jacob," he looked at his other companion, "check the cargo area, it should be clear, there are a few survivor's up the ridge locked in one of the cabins. Escort them back to the camp and tell everyone to sit tight."

"Aye ay."

"Good," Josh put his hand on private Thomas' shoulder, "let's get a move on."

Without wasting time the two made their way down the step ladder onto the service trolley. Josh didn't hesitate before pressing the controls to send the transport into a quick surge. The speed was boggling, the wind was hitting them both in the face at incredible speeds, it was important to duck down. He felt Aaron's breath on the back of his neck. It was erratic, scared, uncontrolled. Josh could only hope the man was ready to shoot. Perhaps his decision to take the less prepared soldier was the wrong one. On the other hand, Jacob Taylor seemed a man more fit to handle the assignment on his own.

As the trolley pulled up into the next station Josh clearly made out the sound of weapons. On his left he could see a few geth against the railings, they were firing at something. Josh could make out Ashley as one of the targets she was ducking behind a crate and returning the favour to the enemy with bursts of blind fire from her assault rifle. Without any further contemplation Josh made his way up the step ladder onto the opposite platform, Aaron followed.

"Covering fire," Josh barked a command ducking behind cover, "now."

Him and his accompanying soldier quickly fired upon the geth to suppress their fire. A few turned to face the new threat, exposing themselves to Shepard's excellent marksmanship. Within a few moments most of the enemies were down. Shepard's squad moved on.

Josh and Aaron hugged the railings towards the bridge. The crossed it quickly to the opposite platform and followed Shepard's direction as well as the sound of new gunshots. As they came to a quick turn into which Josh remembered walking with the beacon they saw Kaidan behind one of the crates. He was focused on some sort of holo pad in front of him. Josh could see numbers flashing quickly on the screen.

"Fuck," he muttered to himself before turning to Aaron, "cover Lieutenant Kaidan over there, no one gets a shot of him while he's disarming the bomb."

"Bomb?" the young soldier did little to hide shock and fear in his voice, but Josh didn't stick around longer to hear the concern.

He quickly ducked around the corner to encounter Shepard and Ashley pinned by a few more geth. Luckily the AIs didn't notice him, too focused on the targets before them. Josh quickly hopped over the railing and landed on his feet. He could feel his knees ringing from the hard landing, after all it was quite a drop. For the third time he brought up a biotic shield feeling even more tired after this last effort. With quick strides he replaced the pistol in his hands with a shotgun.

Using crates as cover Josh worked himself into position straight behind the remaining geth. In one smooth motion he spun from his cover unleashing a hail from the barrel of his weapon. One of the enemies fell to the floor, accompanied by the sound of static escaping his dead, metallic carcass. The other geth turned quickly, relinquishing their positions that kept them concealed from Shepard and Ashley, as they faced Josh, their backs met a barrage of bullets from the other side. Threat averted.

Quickly Stephanie and Ashley closed down the distance between them and Josh, their weapons still at the ready. Only after a routine sweep of the platform did they decide it was safe enough to holster weapons. Kaidan appeared shortly after.

"Private Thomas is watching the entrance for any flanking manoeuvres," he informed quickly, "we're all clear on the detonators."

"Good," Shepard spoke as she approached the beacon. Her hand went up to the transmitter on her shoulder, "This is Commander Shepard to Normandy... Commander Shepard to Normandy, we've secured the beacon. I repeat, we've secured the beacon. Over."

"Normandy received," Josh could her a voice muffled by the static, "beginning approach."

"How is the settlement," Steph turned to Josh.

"Safe and secure," Josh was quick, "it seems that the geth are here with a sole purpose, and that's the beacon. Also seems that that gargantuan... whatever it was has pulled out as well."

"The beacon seems active," Ashley acknowledged, "what do you think it does?"

"We can't be too sure," Shepard said sternly, "so I advise no one to approach it until the Normandy docks."

Josh leaned to the side to see past Shepard towards the beacon. Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko was right beside it as it lit up with a green hue and started to lift lieutenant's body into the air. Josh raised one his eyebrows and his right index finger to point towards the occurrence.

Shepard turned in a flash. She covered the space between her and Kaidan in less time than it could be humanly possible surprising both Josh and Ashley. With a well co-ordinated move the Commander tossed her comrade aside, putting herself in harm's way. The greenish hue radiating from the beacon enveloped her completely, her body started to twitch in the middle of levitation. After a few seconds it dropped to the ground as suddenly as it was raised up. Every one rushed towards the unconscious Shepard.

"Commander," Kaidan's voice trembled, "COMMANDER! Wake up!!!." He quickly muttered into his communication, "this is Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko, to Normandy. Normandy, respond. Shepard is down, I repeat Shepard is down."

Josh raised his eyes to the beacon, it was fizzling. With a quick motion he scooped up Stephanie's unconscious body and carried started running. Ashley and Kaidan, surprised by his sudden move stared at the beacon, noticing the same thing he did and following in his steps. Within seconds the Prothean artefact fizzled out and burst out in a mini-explosion, throwing the three onto the ground under the stair passage. As Josh slid he turned his body so Shepard would be covered from any impact, finally his slide was stopped by the contact of the metal wall to his head. His vision turned hazy as his mind relinquished any control it had over his body. Josh fell unconscious besides Shepard.


	17. Chapter 16: Closed Door, Open Window

Disclaimer: Obviously all of the game characters, places etc. are creative property of BioWare.

**Chapter 16**

**Closed Door, Open Window**

_Life is a gift, and it offers us the privilege, opportunity, and responsibility to give something back by becoming more._

_Tony Robbins_

_A pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity, an optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty._

_Winston Churchill_

The world around him felt out of perspective, heavy dark. Muffled sounds in the distance shifted around, voices merged into on continuous noise, a cacophony of sound. The darkness shifted, presenting ghostly visions, mirages, images of the past, or the future, it was impossible to tell. His head felt heavy, drawn back, pulled down by gravity and then some. It was like a terrible hangover except fifty times as intense, not a pleasant feeling in the least. He tried to blink with little to no success, he tried to feel the rest of his body, at least become aware of it. Nothing.

Josh felt as if he was stuck in nowhere, between consciousness and sleep, as if his body was ready to drift off into a dream but his mind refused to succumb to the temptation. He felt everything in jolts. At one moment he felt the presence of his hand as a sharp cutting pain surged through them, next nothing. It was difficult and he struggled to concentrate, struggled to return to something more than just a mind stuck in its own prison.

Slowly, he tried to blink again, it worked. The voices outside his head became more audible, he could make out the intonations and the people speaking but little else beyond that. His body became responsive, he felt his fingers, his toes, his arms and legs. Everything was sliding back into its place, even his vision. A few more rapid blinks dissolved the blur away and slid everything back into focus. Josh found himself lying on a some sort of bed, staring at a ceiling, a very metallic ceiling at that, a ceiling that was undoubtedly part of a spaceship.

"How are they feeling doc?" he heard Ashley's voice, she seemed so far. There was something strange in her intonation a measure of concern and fragility he has never heard.

"The civilian?" he heard a voice which undoubtedly belonged to another female, much older than Ashley, and by the sound of it more professional. "He will be alright, nothing but a few bruises and a minor concussion. A few cuts, luckily the debris skipped past most of the vitals. I expect recovery within the next day."

"And Shepard?"

"She is proving to be slightly more difficult," the doctor walked past Josh's bed somewhere, he could tell by her heels sounding off the floor. "I've isolated her in the private room, giving her space. There is no sign of physical damage, yet she refuses to wake up, continues to mutter in her dreams, shake violently and sweat. I am not sure what it is, but whatever that beacon has done to her has most definitely affected the Commander on a mental level."

"What about Kaidan?" Ashley walked right past Josh's bed as well.

"Hasn't left her side," the doctor sounded slightly more concerned with every word, "doesn't sleep, barely eats. He has taken this more seriously than anyone, he feels that it was his fault what happened to her."

"Not to sound insensitive," Ashley has regained some of the usual confidence in her voice, "but it kind of was. He activated the... whatever it was back there, and it was Commander's responsibility to save him. She put herself in harm's way because of his stupidity."

The doctor didn't say anything, perhaps she thought the same way, perhaps not. It didn't matter, what mattered was that Shepard was still unconscious and with that variable in the equation Josh would have to turn to someone else for explanation, which he didn't exactly prefer. Everyone on the vessel would be briefed of his history, even Ashley. The Alliance wasn't particularly fond of those who abandoned their duties, especially in the manner that he did. Josh sighed.

Two sets of quick footsteps indicated that the women heard his half suppressed moan and were now moving towards him. Within minutes, a face of an older woman with grey, shoulder-length hair appeared in front of Josh. She had wisdom in her eyes and her face somehow seemed wary, a common trait amongst many medical staff on military vessels, the job did come with its challenges, like seeing a number of soldiers die quite often.

The doctor flashed a quick light into each of his eyes surveying for any uncommon reactions before speaking, "can you sit up?"

Josh obeyed. His body felt sluggish, untrained, a common reaction after being in prolonged unconscious state. He felt as if he was about to fall over and it took most of his concentration to stay upright. He felt something over his left eyebrow that wasn't there. With a quick motion, an indication of quickly returning muscle memory, Josh brought his right hand up to feel a small ridge on his face, a scar.

"I can remove that if you want," the doctor said noticing the move while she was tapping a small hammer against Josh's knees, checking for his reflexes, "I usually don't do that without the solider's agreement, some want to hold on to their 'trophy of the battle.'"

Josh could tell by the tone that the doctor was not at all impressed by the common military attitude of displaying every single achievement on own body.

"I'll keep it," Josh smiled slightly, "I wanted one for something else, but I guess this will suffice."

"I'm doctor Chakwas," the woman proceeded with an overdue introduction, "the main doctor here on the Normandy. I'm in charge of overseeing your recovery, and as such, I would recommend not participating in excessive physical or mental activity for the next forty eight hours. Also, if you have any headaches or vision problems tell me about them right away. I can't treat something I don't know about."

Josh nodded with every single thing the doctor thing. Inside his head however he tried to figure out what exactly happened. It seemed that the captain of the vessel took it upon himself or herself to take Josh on board in order to take care of him. He could tell by the slight vibrations of the surface he was sitting on that the vessel was travelling in space, so that means they were no longer on Eden Prime. Figuring out the destination and why exactly he was on the ship was his main priority as well as what happened to Kamilah.

"Common," Ashley was by the door, "Captain Anderson assigned you to a private cabin, as a civilian you are not allowed beyond its constricts without proper accompaniment. I'll show you where it is."

_So, Captain Anderson,_ Josh thought to himself, could be worse. He quickly jumped off the bed, catching a disgruntled look from Dr. Chakwas, something akin to a motherly 'I thought I told you,' and headed towards the door. He had too many questions in his head and this was the perfect time to formulate them into a perfect conversation plan.

"What happened?" Josh asked as soon as they were beyond the infirmary.

"When you got knocked out by the beacon," Ashley began as they walked through the Normandy, "the main attack has just begun. It seems the geth were not satisfied with just getting the beacon, they used the ship to attack the rest of the colony, dropping more troopers onto the ground. It was a massacre."

"What happened to..." Josh never had a chance to finish.

"Kamilah is okay," Ashley read his thoughts, "the settlement had an impenetrable bunker designed for emergency, she took shelter with a few other survivors. When the geth retreated the Normandy revealed itself organizing the survivors and leaving a part of its crew to maintain order until a different Alliance ship reaches Eden Prime to escort people off the surface."

"How come we didn't stay?" Josh kept his concern despite a measure of good news amongst the rubble of everything else, "we could have helped, we could transport these people to safety."

"Captain Anderson feels that in light of some developments on Eden Prime there is an urgency to action," Ashley paused as they walked into the elevator, she pressed on of the buttons and the doors slid shut behind them, "this Saren, this turian, Captain believes there is more to this attack than the obvious."

"Why am I here thought? And you?"

"I asked for an official transfer," the doors opened, letting Ashley out as she spoke, Josh followed. "And as for you, I have no idea. I would assume it is directly related to your performance on Eden Prime. And your previous record with the Alliance."

The last words were spoken completely different from everything else. Josh could sense that Ashley read the file, that she knew some of what happened to him in the past. He also knew that she didn't understand why he abandoned the Alliance and his 'duty,' why he disappeared. A soldier like her, so dedicated to her cause, so akin to Shepard in spirit and determination couldn't possibly see what motivated him in his dark years.

"This is it," Ashley spoke as she stopped in front of another metal door, "I have to report to the Captain of your recovery, so if you'll excuse me."

Josh nodded as Ashley walked away. The metal doors slid open before him, letting him into his room. It was modestly furnished, as he expected from a military vessel. The room contained nothing more than a desk and a bed, everything else was absent. The only form of luxury Josh could see was a small fridge by the bed side which also served as a bed-side table. He quickly walked towards the fridge and opened it. It was empty.

"Fuck," he muttered under his breath, sitting down into the bed. Josh looked around the room again hoping to see something beside the constricted Alliance interior, but he was looking for something that wasn't there. He stretched backwards, his head touching the pillow. It was uncommon from the military vessel to offer private quarters to anyone besides the XO and the Commanding Officer, however, from what he could discern during his walk, this was no ordinary military vessel. But that was a concern for a later time, the doctor told him to get some rest, Josh felt he should abide.

His eyes closed slowly, the last thing he could remember is the dim light that was shining down on him flicking off as his fingers pushed the switch by the bedside into the 'off' position. His mind was still on Eden Prime, he felt happy that Kamilah survived, but he wanted to talk to her, to make sure she was completely alive, no one should ever witness a destruction of an entire colony, at least not twice in their lifetime. He felt terrible for leaving, for being forced to leave, for having no say, for staying unconscious. With thoughts of guilt weighting him down Josh drifted off to sleep, this time it was different this time it was real unlike his comatose presence on the infirmary bunk.

MExMExMExME

Josh got woken up by an exaggerated sound of a throat being cleared. He took a few seconds to himself to remember where he was exactly and figure out who could it possibly be to want his audience so badly to not let him sleep a little longer. There were only a few options.

As Josh sat up on the edge of his bed he was greeted by what could only be described as a face of a seasoned soldier. Captain Anderson maintained the stern look on his face, yet behind it one could always read compassion in concern if one looked hard enough. He had a few scars as well, evidence of the many battles of the past, relics of military experience. The captain's posture would always give him away as a military man as well. He was completely straight, stern, unshakable, truly an immovable object.

"Captain," Josh nodded through the haze.

"You know who I am," Captain stated in a matter-of-fact manner, "good. Then it is safe to assume that you realize that I know who you are."

Josh nodded impressed with Anderson's military efficiency.

"Good," Anderson flashed a hint of a smile, "allows us to skip the unnecessary pleasantries and get straight to the point."

The Captain took his time to walk across the room in silence, he found a chair neatly slid into the slit under the writing desk that was in the room. He slowly wheeled the chair out and sat down before going on.

"You are on SSV Normandy, an Alliance military vessel controlled by Alliance personnel on my Command," the Captain went on. "I need you to testify before the Citadel Council as to what you saw on Eden Prime," the Commander paused trying to discern any reaction on Josh's face, Josh gave none. "As well as confirm that the statements made by one of the cargo dock workers that you've encountered while accompanying Shepard are also true."

Josh nodded again. This was a little bit too simple an explanation, there had to be more behind it. After all most testimonies in this day and age could be given over holo-communication devices. Sometimes the Council issued a special request, but this case hardly warranted it, there was something more, something the Captain refused to tell him or didn't find prudent enough to tell.

"That and something else," the Captain went on, surprising Josh with a slight bit of honesty, "I want to ask you whether you are willing to reconsider your abandonment of Alliance duties."

Josh was floored, he never expected that. Perhaps he should have seen it coming, on the ship, with a personal cabin, taken away into space and in contact with no one else but one of the best Alliance had to offer. But why?

"We are at war," Anderson went on, "or may very well soon be. This attack, this Saren, I know him. He isn't just anyone, he is part of a very elite group, a Specter, and he has gone rogue. His hate for humans is unparallel, and he will stop at nothing to cause humanity harm. Now it seems that he has overstepped the other races as well. I believe that this may be humanity's chance to show the Council what we are capable off when we're at our best."

"You don't have to sell me with a speech Captain," Josh interrupted, "I've seen the recruitment videos, even signed up once already. I'm just not sure I want to do it again."

"It is your decision," Anderson spoke with a level of measure in his voice, "all I am asking you to do is to consider the offer. I've read your profile," he paused, unsure whether or not the next bit of information should be revealed, "and Shepard has spoken highly of your performance on Elysium. We could use someone like you here on the Normandy. Also, I have granted you the freedom to move about the ship."

With that the Captain got up and walked towards the door not wasting time to turn around. Josh remained on his bed, staring at the floor. This was un expected turn of events. Normally the Alliance did not make it their priority to reinstate those who decided to abandon their duty. There was probably more to what the Captain was saying yet Josh struggled to pin it down, to figure it out. Still in his thought Josh got up and did a few quick stretches. He just regained some measure of personal freedom, as much as one can have in open space, and he intended to use it to full advantage.

The Normandy seemed a top of the line vessel. Everything within it pointed to high budget. Josh did not want to venture towards the core reactor or even the armoury, spending the time in the common area would be nice enough. For a small vessel, the staff of the Normandy was not plenteous, explaining why Josh barely encountered those off duty or not performing some sort of responsibility until he ran into Ashley sitting alone at the table in the main area, reading a book. He decided to pull up a chair across from her.

Gunnery Chief Williams did not acknowledge his presence with anything more than a with a glance over the top of her reading material before going back to it. Josh stared intently for a second, trying to figure out what to ask.

"So what did you say?" Ashley started the conversation first.

"To the Captain?" Josh was slightly taken aback by surprise, "you know what he asked?"

"It seems quite obvious," Ashley went on, "you're here, on the ship, with your own private quarters to perform a duty that could very well be handled over an old fashioned telephone."

"I said nothing yet," Josh was honest, "I'm not sure where I fit in with all this as of now, but I will try to figure it out once we land on the Citadel. Ever been?"

"No," Ashley was honest in return, "but I've heard a lot of things about how it is the pinnacle of modern civilization, the height of our achievement left behind as a beacon of light by Protheans themselves."

"Poetic," Josh smiled.

"I try," Ashley surrendered her hardened image for a quick flash of return warmth, "sometimes I'm just not motivated enough."

"So what are you reading?"

"War & Peace," Ashley flashed to cover again so that Josh could see the full title.

"Classic," Josh mused more to himself it seemed than to Ashley."

"So it is," she smiled and went back to reading.

Josh could take a quick hint, besides it still hasn't been the suggested forty eight hours since he got out of the infirmary, he intended to be very thorough in following the doctor's orders and go back to his unit for more rest.

MExMExMExME

Josh quickly noticed the trends of the way he was woken up on the Normandy, it seemed that people simply refused to give him a good time's rest. Were they that eager to have him re-join, because he honestly felt that there could be more than hundreds of people more qualified than him, and infinitely more important – more willing.

With a little disgruntled feeling Josh got up out of bed. He knew that whoever was touching him on the leg was a female, and out of anyone on the ship he could only assume three candidacies for that female. It turned out to be the first one.

"Steph?" Josh tried to hide his surprise a little, "are you okay?"

"Yeah," Commander said quietly, "I'll be alright, I've just came to, decided to check up on the mission squad."

"Could have gotten some rest first," Josh pointed out sharply.

"I've been unconscious for a good measure of this voyage," Stephanie smiled, "how much more rest do you figure I need? How about you? How do you feel?"

"You don't have to do this you know," Josh smiled.

"Do what?"

"This, the whole 'how are you doing spiel, I'm fine, I've been through worse, you know that much," Josh paused considering whether or not he should say what was to come. "I'm not like the rest of these little soldiers, I'm used to the way things are. Conflict happens, lives end, stuff like that."

Shepard nodded to herself, redirecting her gaze towards the floor. She was at her best as a leader, the one troops found comfort in, the one they followed. She knew how to lead, that much Josh remembered, and from her behaviour now he could see that she also knew how to be human, how to connect with those around her. Her character gave her a natural leadership quality many in the Alliance lacked. With him though, they've never been on that level. Josh preferred to think of Stephanie as a close friend, as a comrade, as someone who he would follow not because of duty or an impassioned speech but because of her being an important person in his life. Around him she lost some of that leadership spark, and it made her feel week some times, vulnerable.

"Sorry about Eden Prime," Steph went on, gathering herself quickly, "I wish we could have done more."

"We all do," Josh smiled.

"Did the Captain talk to you," Shepard quickly redirected the conversation.

"Yeah," Josh said, trying not to seem to frustrated at everyone's constant pestering, "I don't know what I'm going to say yet. Probably a no, I can't go back to the Alliance, I don't think I can. I've learned some things, saw others, experience that made me different. I've found out way too much."

"Like what?"

"About the Blitz, about Elysium," Josh said testing the waters, looking at Shepard intently for any indication. Stephanie averted her gaze from his, trying to hide in the shadows of the floor again. "So you knew," Josh concluded, "for how long?"

"A few years," Stephanie admitted, "it's become quite known, I'm sure the top brass knew about it for longer. It was a human initiated operation through and through."

Josh didn't know what to say. He assumed that what he found out wasn't exactly a shattering discovery, but he at the very least expected Shepard to share the information within him when she found out considering how much he left behind on Elysium. All of that was past however, and it couldn't be changed. He refused to go chasing after shadows anymore, it was pointless and too taxing on both mental and physical state.

"Look," Shepard inched closer, "I'm sorry, I should have told you the moment I found out, but you disappeared, no one knew where you were. You were as good as dead Josh."

"Still am," he gave a faint smile, "go get some rest. There are more important things than trying to be a great leader, like staying alive to keep doing it."

Stephanie smiled and brushed the top of his head gently with her hand. Slowly she stood up and walked out, stumbling a bit right at the door. When she turned around to smile Josh pretended not to notice her little misstep. Whatever it was that happened to her because of the contact with the beacon was obviously quite taxing, bringing it up now could only serve to worsen the matters. No one needed that at the moment.

Josh decided that now that he was up it was as good a time as any to explore the ship a little bit more, even though he knew that the only places he was granted access too were the mess hall, the infirmary and all other common areas. Ashley was not in her usual place so Josh assumed she must be resting up or perhaps working somewhere on the Normand. After all, even on Eden Prime she rarely

shied away from any duty anyone bestowed upon her.

Kaidan however was working with the control panel by the infirmary. Josh decided that this was a fairly good opportunity to talk to Second Lieutenant, probe him for what he thought happened on Eden Prime, get his opinions.

"How are you feeling," he approached the man from behind, "all better?"

"Wha..." Kaidan seemed slightly startled when he turned around, however he quickly came down seeing Josh, "oh, yeah, I'm doing good. So far. It's just good to see the Commander up and walking again, I was worried."

"She's a tough one," Josh smiled, "tougher than she seems, if that is even possible, she'll be alright."

"I sure hope so," Kaidan still seemed upset about the incident with the beacon, "I just can't imagine what she went through. Who knows what the Protheans intended that beacon to be used. Just hearing Commander describe the experience was taxing."

"I bet," Josh felt a little bit of compassion for the Second Lieutenant, however he knew that what happened to Stephanie was partially the man's fault as well, after all who activates the beacon.

"I mean, I didn't mean to activate the beacon," Kaidan lowered his voice, "it, it just pulled me towards it. It's so hard to explain, but I wasn't me. I mean I still had the thoughts but I couldn't control the body. I just hope that Shepard hasn't sustained any serious permanent damange."

"Don't we all," Josh spoke.

"I mean she is a great leader," Kaidan paused, finding that he should say so much in front of someone he barely knew, and more importantly in front of someone who appeared to be close to Shepard, he decided to keep it simple, "humanity needs soldiers like her, now more than ever. You knew her before didn't you, on Elysium?"

"Yeah," Josh shivered unnoticeably to Kaidan, "I did, quite a long time ago. You're right, she's a great leader. But leaders are often fragile as well, even if they don't show it sometimes."

"I know," Kaidan spoke, before correcting himself, "I mean they have to be, to lead, to make people follow, you need to understand them, don't you? You need to figure out what makes them go."

"Something like that," Josh smiled, _except that it is slightly more grey than that, infinitely more complicated._

Out loud he said nothing. After exchanging pleasantries with Kaidan Josh decided to return to his cabin. This was enough interaction for one time with the members of the Normandy. All this overflowing patriotism and pride often made him a little squeamish, a little uncomfortable, especially after Omega. He knew there was much more to civilizations than their self-measured sense of pride. On his way to his cabin Josh was intercepted by Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams again.

"Feeling better?" she said as he walked past one of the tables, not noticing Ash in the corner, "good to see you walking about. You've talked to Shepard yet?"

"Yeah," Josh admitted, "she came around after she got up. Not for too long though, the Commander needs rest, as much as she can get before we get to the Citadel."

"Thought as much," Ashley said, "so how ARE you feeling? I mean I can't imagine that being dragged onto a military vessel unconscious and then facing some very difficult choices not being taxing."

"Really interested Chief or just fulfilling some sort of military courtesy?" Josh smiled.

"You're an asshole," Ashley was serious for a second, "you know that?"

"It's been said," Josh smiled pulling up a chair, "it's been said."

"Good," Ashley laughed, "good to see I'm not the only one. But we've survived Eden Prime, I think its about time to admit that I was quick to judge you," she paused, considering whether or not more needed to be said, "at least in some aspects."

"Likewise," Josh was happy to concede the point.

"Well," Ashley chuckled, "look at that, we're making friends."

Josh wanted to say something else, something mildly clever but he was interrupted by the voice on the communication system.

"SSR Normandy beginning approach on Citadel station, everybody take up positions."

Ashley nodded at Josh as she got up and rushed towards her assigned space. Josh had little to do so he made his way back to his room. It was about time they have arrived. Space voyages have always made him slightly queasy, even though this one went better than usual, after all the Normandy was the pride of Alliance fleet.

Once in his room Josh found that his civilian attire was carefully laid out on his bed before him, and so were his weapons issued to him on Eden Prime. It seemed that he had the full trust of the crew, or at least that of Captain Anderson and Commander Shepard. That was enough he thought to himself as he changed into the more casual attire strapping his pistol safely at his hip. As he gathered the rest into a duffle bag something else fell on the floor, Josh bent down to check it out.

He held in his hands a small attachment to the back of his neck, Unity Amp Mark V, a little present from the Alliance he assumed. In the time it took the Normandy to land Josh assumed it would be enough for him to change it in place of his older amp. Perhaps this little present would come in handy on the Citadel.

After the final preparations in his room, Josh grabbed the rest of his stuff and headed towards the bridge. When he got there everyone was on the ready, prepared, the pilot was pulling the Normandy into the Citadel. Ashley and Shepard were glancing out of the window, even from looking at the backs of their heads one could tell they were impressed by something. Josh figured he knew, he has heard of the grandeur of the Citadel's head vessel.

"Wow," Ashley's eyes were glazed over with surprise, "would you look at that thing."

"That's the Destiny Ascension," Kaidan provided a useless tidbit of information, "the flagship of the Citadel Fleet."

"It's huge," Ashley went on.

"You know," the pilot butted in, "size isn't everything."

"Why so touchy Joker," Ashley teased the man.

"I'm just saying," came the quick response, "you have to have the firepower too."

"Yeah," Ashley laughed, "I bet one of its guns could take out any vessel in the Alliance fleet."

"Good thing it's on our side then," Kaidan smiled.

The rest of the landing went through quiet, no one really said anything. Shepard was focused, talking to Captain Anderson on the side. Ashley was discussing something passionately with Kaidan while Joker was too focused on docking the ship to provide any entertaining conversation. Josh found himself staring out of the window and unwillingly marvelling at the Citadel station's design and size. It was unlike anything else in the galaxy, a construction that served as the center of any diplomatic activity, an unofficial 'center of the known universe.'

As the ship docked everyone who had any desire or need to go to shore prepared. Josh didn't have to worry much, his pistol was already closely holstered to his hip and his clothing was suitable enough for the citadel – a pair of pants with a simple t-shirt that depicted the image from the old Earth TV show, 'the Transformers.' Josh always enjoyed to wear anything that may have been a 'relic' of the past.

"Let's head out," Shepard tapped him on the shoulder as she walked by, Captain Anderson, Ashley and Kaidan were close behind. Josh didn't hesitate to follow.

As the four got decontaminated and waited in the pressure cabin for proper adjustments no one said a word. Everyone had stern faces. The short moment that came with the landing, the moment of ease and relaxation has passed, everyone was focused on what was to happen next, the consequences of Eden Prime. Josh himself was not at all to thrilled by his upcoming meeting with the council. He doubted anything good would come off it.

As soon as the land crew stepped foot onto Citadel territory they were greeted by two humans, a male and a female. The female was gorgeous by most understandings of the word. He rich brown hair grew long and she kept it relatively 'messy' to give her a slightly edgy look. Her clothes highlighted her curves, and a tight hint of make-up was simply the final touch on her radiating face. The male beside her paled in comparison. He was small and skinny, his blond hair and his stance gave away that he was not at all confident in himself.

"Welcome to the Citadel," the woman spoke, clearly showing that she was the more important of the two. "Commander Shepard," she turned to Steph, "Ambassador Udina wishes to speak with you right away, Captain Anderson, you as well. You may bring the rest of your party," she turned to Josh, "except for mr. Dri. Kevin here," she pointed to the man at her right, "will escort you to the Council, they have requested immediate audience with the witness. You will also be escorted by a C-Sec officer beyond the docking station."

Everyone nodded, Josh looked to Shepard for quick approval, Commander could do nothing more than nod. It didn't put him at ease at all, however Josh followed the young man without any further hesitation. The whole group piled into the nearest elevator. The ride itself was slow and painful, the radio offered no help, loud enough to block any conversation yet never revealing any useful or even remotely interesting information. When the elevator arrived, Shepard and the rest have moved forward while Josh and Kevin were greeted by a turian.

"Garrus Vakarian," the turian stretched his hand forward, obviously sensitive to human culture, "I am with C-Sec, it is my responsibility to escort you to the Council." He paused for a second, studying the young man who was supposed to come with them, "I assure you I can handle it from here."

"The Ambassador," the man said quietly, swallowing every word. He seemed incredibly uncomfortable, "the ambassador insisted that I accompany mr. Dri as well."

"As you wish," the turian conceded without further argument although it seemed to Josh that he has received some sort of satisfaction from making the man uncomfortable. "Shall we go now?"

Without further pleasantries the three moved out towards the elevator that was supposed to take them to the outside.

As the elevator took them up a few more levels through the citadel Josh studied the people accompanying him. The young man seemed unsure, almost helpless, sneaking sideway looks at the turian. The C-Sec operative on the other hand, this Garrus, showed an incredible level of confidence. Every little action was measured and his posture was stern, one hand always on a weapon. This was not a rookie, but rather a seasoned operative, which made Josh wonder why he would be the one tasked with such a mundane assignment as escorting someone. Perhaps they did it to distract him from something else.

Once outside Josh reached into the side pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. He knew it was a terrible habit and even quit a few times but he always came back to it, especially after a tough time in his life. The tip of the filter fit so well in his mouth that it always was a mystery to him why he even tried to kick the habit. The old Zippo lighter had memories, it was a relic, a present from his sister from a while back. The Alliance logo on it was worn down, almost invisible, but the tips of his fingers could still feel the small ridges where it used to be every time he used it.

The small light emerged from the lighter after a few attempts to spark it. Josh took a long and contained breath, enjoying every second of it. Then, slowly, he let all of the smoke out of his lungs. This was a long time coming.

"So," Josh turned to the young man who was apparently one of Udina's many errand-boys, "what's your story?"

The man lowered his eyes and looked at the floor, the pigment of his skin turned even redder. There was no point to start a conversation there, the young man clearly lacked confidence for whatever job it is Udina hired him for and now he was reduced to running unimportant little tasks such as this one.

"I never understood why human's enjoyed cigarettes so much," Garrus commented in a level tone without breaking his stried, "it seems for a species who's lifetime is already limited by a number of factors introducing another outlier would not be the most prudent decision."

"Depends how you look at it," Josh smiled himself, taking another drag, "but to be completely honest, its these, _outliers_," he tasted every bit of the word as it came off his tongue, ever so sweet, "that make the lifespan worth living. It's the risk and the ability to do the most with what you have and enjoy yourself doing it."

"Makes sense," Garrus concluded, but then added after a brief pause, "for a human."

Josh nodded, continuing to take deep drags as they walked. He took the rest of the time to study the Citadel, the Presidium and its surroundings. The area was beautiful, there was a large water reserve as well as a number of various flora, mostly there for decorational purposes. It seemed a lot of work was put into making the Citadel as beautiful as it was, and as efficient. It was hard to imagine that it was not developed but simply found in deep space, most would find it a little suspicious. The generations that discovered it found it fortuitous.

Even though Josh could see the beauty of the Citadel, he couldn't help but feel nothing for it. It was not the same as looking at the setting sun over a rugged hill, its rays escaping trees one by one, brushing against brunches, each as unique as its predecessor. Engineered beauty just didn't hold the same weight, the same capability to 'take one's breath away.'

After a short walk the three found themselves in yet another elevator. Josh was getting tired of constant elevator rides, as if the Citadel officials could not come up with a more efficient way to travel and to communicate. This ride was even worse, it took them to the very top. The Council was housed in one of the tallest structures on the Citadel, it highlighted importance as well as no doubt served as a certain security precaution. The doors opened with a cheerful electronic beep, letting them out.

"Straight ahead and up the stairs," Garrus pointed forward and changed the direction of his walk. Josh turned around only once to see the Turian approach another one of his species and get in what he perceived to be an argument, a heated one at that.

The next part of the journey was silent except for the constant chatter in the area. The Council chambers held the same design rhetoric to the Presidium so it seemed, with constant vegetation balanced by a technological interior. Everyone came to the Citadel for something, ambassadors, traders, warriors, and everyone thought that the Council's attention is most required for their matter. This time, in Josh's case, he couldn't help but feel the same way. When he got to the top the podium itself was already extended, the three Council members waiting.

"Joshua Dri," the Asari Councillor spoke in her melodic voice, "welcome to the Council chambers. You are here to testify to the events on Eden Prime, as well as confirm or deny a previous testimony given by a traumatized dock worker."

Josh couldn't help but notice an extra presence in the meeting, it troubled him, even though it wasn't material. The hologram of a turian lit up at the side. Josh assumed that it was Saren, the other turian everyone spoke about, the Spectre connected to Eden Prime. He felt uncomfortable under the turian's gaze, as if it was burrowing deep into Josh. He didn't enjoy being watched.

"What was your business on Eden Prime?" the Turian Councillor began the questioning.

"I was visiting an old friend," Josh started, "at first. After a few weeks I got accustomed to the colony, to the atmosphere, to the people. After that I was looking for employment. Given my previous Alliance record I was contracted to a security corporation established on Eden Prime."

"And when the attack hit?" the Salarian Councillor came in, the three seemed to strike a balance with each other, each knew when to let the other members handle the situation.

"I was in charge of overseeing the beacon transfer," Josh switched his posture a little, shifting his weight to a different foot, he noticed that the turian Spectre was still watching him closely. "After that I was doing a routine sweep of the area, getting to know the surroundings, and that is when the attack hit."

"Are you certain it was the geth?" the Asari councillor took her turn.

"Positive," Josh said, "I have never encountered one..."

"Then how can you be sure," the Turian Councillor interrupted swiftly. "If you do not speak from your own knowledge, your testimony's integrity is under threat."

"However," Josh made an emphasis on the word, staring the Councillor right in the eyes, "from all of the information I posses as well as the further resources and previous Alliance training I was successfully able to identify the attackers as the geth."

"Very well," the Turian Councillor conceded, "finally, in what pertains to the separate testimony, and the dock workers recollection of the events with the alleged shooting of one Specter officer by another, do you have anything to add to that?"

"Nothing of substance," Josh noticed that when the Turian Councillor was introducing the matter the hologram image shifted, only slightly, but enough for someone to notice, someone who was looking for any reaction. "I can testify that it is exactly what the worker described, however I cannot testify to seeing the event take place, or any other turian on Eden Prime." Josh paused for a second, "aside from the body of the one identified as Nilhus by Commander Shepard.

"Very well," the Salarian Councillor picked up the conclusion, "we believe this testimony has exhausted itself. Thank you for your co-operation mr. Dri, you may step down." The Councillor paused and looked past Josh making him turn around as well, Ambassador Udina was approaching.

"Just in time it seems," the Asari Councillor offered her comment on the situation, "thank you for your co-operation mr. Dri," she added before turning to Udina, "Ambassador..."

Josh chose not to listen to the rest, he walked off the podium and went down the stairs. Captain Anderson was pacing at the bottom.

"Where is Shepard?" Josh asked approaching the Alliance veteran.

"She is coming, chose to hold back for a second, consider her options," Captain said, there was some uncertainty in his voice, at least Josh thought he could hear some. "How did it go?"

Josh offered no comment, only a slightly resided shake of the head. He wished he had more to say, however to the issues held up by the council he testified all he could. There was nothing else. He could obviously co-operate with the Alliance, or at least pretend to, lie about what happened, claim to have seen Saren, but that wouldn't be right. Besides, with the amount of matters the Council dealt with Josh assumed they would be able to see past any feint or misleading act, straight to the truth. Perhaps what he did was best.

"That bad," Captain didn't need words, he started pacing back and forth again. "Our last hope is with Shepard, maybe she can convince the council. I just hope this doesn't get in the way of her Spectre consideration." The Captain paused again, looking slightly into the distance, he seemed to daze away for a second, almost daydream, something touched him deeply. "I just hope Udina doesn't screw this up until she makes it here."

Luckily for the both of them, just after Captain Anderson was finished saying it Josh heard footsteps behind him, three sets. He turned to greet Stephanie as well as Kaidan and Ashley who were accompanying her. Commander nodded and headed straight towards captain Anderson.

"You're here," the captain nodded, "common, they already started."

Kaidan and Ashley followed a bit up the stairs but were then stopped. This was a Council hearing and only those directly contributing were allowed audience. As the two marines waited on their Commander Josh distanced himself slightly. He found a little bench beside one of the trees and sat down. He wanted to smoke but realized that perhaps this would not be the most suitable environment, he didn't even know if smoking was allowed in Council chambers, and he didn't want to find out.

A good number of humans as well as other species were gathered in the Council chambers, most arguing with each other about something. In a very weird way Josh thought of the markets in many human colonies, everyone interested in their own well-being, looking for a quick profit or at least a way to better one's position for the future. This was the same to him, except slightly more organized, structured. Those arguing didn't yell or fight they simply went about their own discussion pretending to be civil.

Josh couldn't hear what the Council was discussing with Shepard, however, he preferred it to be that way. On his own part he contributed everything he could to the cause and there was no point in dragging it out any longer. One thing lingered in his mind, this had to be properly closed. Someone attacked a human colony, potentially someone dangerous if the dock worker's allegations were correct, and he had to be brought to justice, or at least to swift end.

Something inside Josh shivered, but it wasn't disgust or fear, he found himself rather excited, intrigued by the possibility of the 'hunt' ahead, of the rush of a worthy adversary. For a second Josh felt as if he understood his previous acquaintance, a krogan mercenary. He felt as if this was something he was suited for, and well so. After his Alliance days Josh spent a good portion of time hunting down sources, dangerous criminals, looking for the truth. He was adopted to the world, he has seen the darkest corners of the Council space and the Traverse as well as the shadows in most souls, the apparitions which only came out in private.

This one was different though. Back then he was driven by grief, by sheer anger and he was blind for most of the trip, too focused on his goal, to concerned with his inner pain to care. This time it could be different, he would have a cause, people he could turn to, people who he could help and who could help him. Who knows, maybe if he didn't go into his revenge mission in solitude perhaps it wouldn't break him like it did. But here was a new purpose, a new goal to make all the past worth something, give it meaning, achieve the final bit of closure.

Too caught up in his own thought Josh didn't notice how Stephanie approached him along with her two companion's. There was a slight mixture of disbelief and anger on her face, Josh figured the meeting didn't go well, there wasn't a single need to ask.

"Ignorant fools," Steph fumed, "how can they be this stupid?"

"That bad?" Josh subconsciously repeated the phrase Captain Anderson spoke to him minutes earlier.

"They won't believe in Saren's guilt," Stephanie said, there was more resolve in her voice now, the old Shepard was back, "so we'll show it to them in the open, clear as day, we'll show them something they cannot deny."

"Are you sure that's a good way to use one of your three magic wishes?" Josh jested to hid his disappointment with the results.

"I'm serious," Commander went on, "we have to do this, we have to expose Saren. I even have a few leads... Can you help me? I don't think I can cover all of them in time."

"Steph," Josh got up to face level with his friend, "I know it hurts, but Saren is a Spectre, according to the Council he is one of the best as well. Do you think he simply leaves evidence that could incriminate him lying around? This is going to be harder than you think.."

He stared her in the face as she stared back. There was something in those eyes, the resolve most humans do not have, something that demanded respect, but also filled those looking in with hope and with resolve. Besides, Josh already made his mind up even before Shepard talked to him.

"As an independent party," he smiled softly, "no relation to the Alliance, no reinstatement in its ranks."

"That works," Stephanie said.

"Good," Josh smiled at her and at both Kaidan and Ashley behind her, "it seemed that everyone felt a little relieved that they were not in this alone, "so what do we have?"

"Two leads," Stephanie sighed, "nothing major, but it's something regardless. There was a C-Sec investigation regarding Saren, however it seems that it was somewhat," Stephanie paused looking for an appropriate term, "incomplete, at least from what I could overhear. Maybe if we talk to the C-Sec operative in charge of the investigation they could help us out."

Josh nodded and thought about the suggestion. C-Sec never truly enjoyed the power and the leeway that most Spectres had. Operating within authority was C-Sec's code and Spectres went beyond that, they were almost uncontrolled, get an employee disgruntled enough with Spectres overstepping their limits and perhaps they would get somewhere. It also seemed that such an opportunity was before them, the individual in charge of the investigation would obviously not be the support of Saren or the Spectre mode of operation.

"Second," Steph went on, "one of the volus merchants on the Presidum by the name of Barla Von appears to be the agent of the Shadow Broker. Captain Anderson described him as a financial genius. Apparently he is an expert in moving large sums of money without leaving a paper trail, a service often utilized by the elite, and _some Spectres."_

"I still say that guy sounds shady," Kaidan came into the conversation, apparently tired from just standing behind Shepard and listening in, "I mean how much can we really trust him? Or the Shadow Broker? I say we take our chances with C-Sec."

"We are," Shepard put the Lieutenant at ease, "however on the odd possibility of amassing even more proof it is important to consider multiple sources. I think we need to check with this Barla Von as well."

"I'll deal with him," Josh volunteered, having already had a certain amount of experience with one of the Shadow Broker's agents he felt more qualified than most, at least out of his present company.

"Very well," Shepard agreed, "Chief Williams will come with you while me and Kaidan check out the C-Sec lead. Ash?"

"Understood Commander," Ashley straightened out and gave Stephanie a quick salute. Josh tried not to laugh.

"Let's move out. Wait, one more thing," Shepard stretched out her arm, banging in a few things on her omni-tool, and handing Josh something after she was done, "here. This is an Alliance issued communicator, coded to private channels, inform us as soon as you know something. Also, I've just registered you into an Alliance database as one of our civilian operatives, at least for the time being. They'll forward that info to C-Sec and it will make your inquiries that much easier."

Josh stretched out for the communicator. After grabbing the device he looked at Ashley and decisively turned towards the elevator. The time for the ride down seemed to last forever. Ashley refrained from saying a word and Josh didn't exactly feel like forcing it on her. He knew the Gunnery Chief didn't exactly see eye to eye with him, however the last few days, especially after Eden Prime, they've started to understand each other, go slightly beyond the obvious hate.

Josh knew that Ashley Williams was a good soldier, she actually reminded him of a number of his old Alliance friends and comrades, and that's what scared him. He saw her dedication to the cause, her desire to do good and to push herself in the name of humanity, but he also saw the dangers, the troubled paths where such dedication could lead.

"What do you figure we'll find out?" Ashley broke the silence as they exited the elevator.

"No idea yet," Josh said sincerely, "the Shadow Broker understands the value of information as a commodity, and when it comes to possessing information, his," he paused, "or 'their' reserves are almost unlimited."

"So we simply ask for the information on behalf of the Alliance for Council business?" Ashley obviously has never dealt with this particular aspect of society.

"Doubt we'll get anything that way," Josh smiled, "information is one of the most important commodities in this world, those who have it, have power. The Shadow Broker has made a living, and if I may add, quite a reputation doing what he does. You don't come to be known as the biggest information broker by giving out anything for free."

Ashley nodded, seeming to understand. Josh however could see the concern still on her face. In the Alliance it was always so simple, nothing to worry about. All you had was your weapons and people telling you who to point them at. The world beyond that type of restricted living was infinitely more complicated. Not noticing the time Josh found himself walking into Barla Von's shop as he slipped out of his thoughts.

"How may I help you?" the volus inquired.

"Barla Von?" Josh studied the individual before him, Barla Von has not differed much from other volus, at least from a human perspective, "I find myself in necessity of inquiring about Shadow Broker's aid."

"Interesting," Barla Von held his composure impressively, even though most would agree that the conversation took a very sharp turn. "May I inquire," the volus went on, "if this information has anything to do with the allegations of a Saren Aretrius being involved in the Eden Prime attack?"

Ashley wanted to say something, but her mouth was stuck open half way, eyes jumping from Josh to Barla Von. It was clear that this was the first time she had participated in this kind of exchange.

"Precisely," Josh smiled, "and Commander Shepard would appreciate any information that could be obtained."

"Normally," the volus scratched the bottom of his 'chin,' "such information would cost a significant amount of credits. However, these are quite the extraordinary circumstances, so I will give you an _insignificant_ detail for free, it should help you continue your investigation. Saren has been working with a few 'businessmen' here on the Citadel, one of them has been targeted for elimination. The Shadow Broker has hired a krogan mercenary to deal with the problem. If you hurry, you may still find him in C-Sec headquarters."

"Just like that?" Josh was taken back slightly with how easily the information was given out.

"These are, as I mentioned before, extraordinary circumstances. Saren and the given business... _associate_, have turned against the Shadow Broker, the Shadow Broker is no longer interested in them, however he would appreciate their termination," the volus went on, "now, as I said, if you hurry you may still catch the krogan that was hired. He should be quite familiar to you mr. Dri."

Josh paused for a second, considering what was said. The circumstances were at the very least believable. It was something else that got to him, the last sentence the volus said. A familiar krogan? It couldn't be, and even if it could that would be highly improbable. The Shadow Broker's agents however were always careful with their word selection, not letting a single piece of information escape. They understood that value of information kept hidden and of one given out at appropriate moments.

Josh thanked the volus swiftly and exited the store. Ashley followed right behind him.

"So," Ashley finally found something to say, "what the hell was that?"

"Just some interaction between two interested parties," Josh laughed. "The Shadow Broker basically did us a favour, now come on, we have to get to C-Sec before our mercenary leaves."

Josh picked up the speed and Ashley followed. Within seconds both of them broke into a jog. There was no point in informing Shepard as to what just happened as they had nothing concrete yet. The simple fact that the Shadow Broker hired a mercenary was no proof, the mercenary however could lead to some of Saren's accomplices on the Citadel, and with proper leverage they could perhaps be bled for significant information.

The elevator to C-Sec Academy turned out to be in the opposite end of the Presidium, Josh cursed himself for neglecting the Citadel Rapid Transit System, however there was very little point in using CRTS for such small distances, especially when travelling through the Presidium. While the Wards most often resembled rural areas, filled with all kinds of populations, mostly the lower classes, the Presidium was beautiful in its own right, a real work of art. Even when running at almost full speed Josh couldn't help but appreciate the beauty of it.

The long elevator ride down towards C-Sec was a welcome break, Ashley didn't seem to think so. Gunner Chief was in surprisingly good shape, she stood up straight and didn't even give a clue that she was tired. He posture was stern and her face frozen solid. It seemed her curiosity about the Shadow Broker has waned and she was somewhat refocused on the mission. Josh knew who they were looking for the minute he walked out of the elevator.

"Witnesses saw you making threats at Fist's bar," Josh heard a confident voice somewhere to the side, "stay away from him."

"I don't take orders from you," a very familiar deep baritone responded.

Josh turned the corner to see Wrex, a krogan mercenary who helped him earlier in his travels through Omega and search for revenge, surrounded by a number of C-Sec operatives, the one who was obviously their superior was talking.

"This is your only warning Wrex," the C-Sec officer leaned his face towards Wrex, trying to stare the krogan down.

"You should warn Fist," Wrex leaned right towards the officer, making the human step back slightly, "I will kill him."

"Do you want me to arrest you?" the officer didn't back down.

"I want you to try," Wrex gave something that resembled a chuckle and then noticed Josh. Brushing off the hand of another C-Sec operative off his shoulder Wrex headed straight towards Josh and Ashley. "Hello old friend," the krogan seemed to smile, at least Josh thought he was.

"Wrex," Josh smiled himself, sneaking a look at Gunnery Chief Williams who seemed increasingly confused by the minute, "do you have a minute?"

The krogan nodded. Him and Josh made their way slightly to the side, away from the gazes of the C-Sec operatives. The officer, evidently convinced with his effort nodded with a sign of sheer satisfaction before disbanding the group. Josh sat down on one of the side benches, Wrex towered over him now, even more so than before. Ashley still kept a bit of distance between herself and the mercenary.

"I hear you're looking for Saren," Josh asked quietly.

"Who isn't these days," Wrex didn't seem to acknowledge the need for secrecy, "currently I am here to kill Fist, runs a club down in the lower wards, he is helping Saren, perhaps he may have some information."

"Information is all I am after," Josh nodded.

"You're welcome to come along," Wrex seemed to shrug, Josh was never sure, "but I should warn you. I am going to kill Fist."

"Sounds like a deal," Josh stretched his arm forward, "although, one more thing you should know. I am not exactly doing this on my own behalf. I am helping a friend of mine, Commander Shepard of the Alliance, she may want to come along."

"As long as I get to kill Fist," Wrex seemed to shrug again, unconcerned, "and I _will_ get to kill Fist."

Josh shrugged, getting off the bench. He knew Wrex well enough from their previous encounter to realize that the krogan had no intention of letting his bounty live. This was an acceptable deal however. If the Shadow Broker wanted Fist dead there was a reason, and just that fact alone was enough for Josh. There always needed to be a reason.

Ashley took her time to approach the two. She kept sneaking sideways glances at Wrex, as if she was afraid that the mercenary would turn on her for some reason. She walked up slowly, finding her place at Josh's side. Wrex seemed to raise one eyebrow, once again Josh was never too sure with him.

"This is Ashley Williams," Josh was quick to make the introduction, "she is part of the Alliance squad that is trying to track down Saren." He then turned to Ashley, "Ash, meet Urdnot Wrex."

With the introductions out of the way he took out his communicator issued to him by Steph and punched in a quick sequence. After a second of static the voice on the other side came through loud and clear.

"You have anything Josh?" Stephanie sounded a little frustrated.

"An unlikely ally," Josh answered, "the Shadow Broker hired someone to kill a club owner on Citadel, the club owner is associated with Saren. It's not much, but its something."

"Good," Shepard responded, "because Anderson's contact was a complete drunk and an idiot one at that. We were able to track one of the operatives though, the one in charge of the investigation, going to talk to him now. Can you get to the med clinic in the Wards?"

"I'll try," Josh answered, disconnecting the communicator and turning to Wrex and Ash, "alright, we need to meet Shepard by the med clinic in the wards, let's get walking."

"I know where that is," Wrex answered in his usual manner, "it's not too far from here."

"Good," Josh said walking towards the elevator to the wards, the rest followed.

Once in the elevator, the usual silence was broken up by Wrex.

"So," he turned to Ashley, "who do you think would win in a fight, you or Josh?"

Ashley didn't find anything to answer, she preferred to look directly ahead of herself. Josh smiled slightly, if nothing else, at least the rest of the investigation on the Citadel would prove to be somewhat entertaining.

"Just a question," Wrex shrugged turning to face Josh with what could only be seen as a comically disgruntled expression, but then again, most krogan expressions seemed the same to Josh.

After exiting in the wards Josh quickly discovered that there was no need for Wrex's directions, the glowing indicators around the wards directed them to the clinic almost immediately. Just as they group was about to walk in Shepard emerged along with Kaidan, and of all C-Sec operatives Garrus, Josh's earlier escort to the Council Chambers. Garrus studied the newly arrived 'reinforcements' focusing on the krogan for a bit longer than anyone else.

"So I guess we're all going to get Fist?" Garrus asked.

"Looks that way," Wrex was the first one to answer.

"We know he's in Chorra's Den," Shepard interjected, quickly taking command of the situation. "It would not be good to barge in with a large group, especially during the working hours. We need a better plan."

"There is a side-emergency entrance closer to 'private' sections," Wrex gave advice, Josh once again surprised by the amount of knowledge the Shadow Broker had at his disposal.

"Good," Stephanie thought on the fly, "then we split up into two groups, one takes the emergency entrance, the other comes through the front."

"Just one thing," Wrex looked at Josh before saying it, "I get to kill Fist."

Shepard studied the krogan for a second. It seemed as if she wanted to say something, put the mercenary back in his place, but this wasn't the appropriate moment for that. She knew that she wasn't in charge here, not at the moment. Garrus had his investigation and the krogan was just a fortuitous ally of the moment.

"Very well," Shepard conceded, "Ashley, Kaidan, you're both with me. Josh, go with Garrus and Wrex through the emergency exit."

Josh nodded while Ashley obediently stepped over onto Shepard's side. Kaidan didn't say a word but by his facial expression it was easy to see that he was not pleased with the situation. Perhaps that was due to their newly found allies. After all the turian's were responsible partially for the First Contact War, and mercenaries in general had very low moral standards.

"Stay on the line," Shepard added before taking her troops deep into the wards, directly towards Chorra's Den.

"The side exit is just around the corner, it's a maintenance tunnel that spans through most of the wards."

"How do you know that?" Garrus questioned, "even C-Sec isn't aware of the number of maintenance corridors through the Citadel."

Wrex didn't respond, leaving Garrus to figure it out on his own. Josh looked at the turian and simply shrugged, he figured the C-Sec operative could figure this one out on his own, given the nature of Wrex's employer. Garrus followed Josh and Wrex shortly.

After taking a few quick turns Wrex quickly leaned on the wall, his right hand seemed to be feeling against something. After a few seconds of grumbling he gave out a satisfied chuckle. Part of the wall shifted, revealing into a small red-lit corridor. Josh quickly ducked in following the mercenary. Garrus was the last one to follow, before ducking in he glanced to either side of him and only then backed up into the opening.

None of the three said a word as they weaved through the tight space. There were a number of two way mirror like openings, allowing them to see into the wards, sometimes to even hear, it seemed the vents ran right through the tunnel. Josh felt his hand coming down to his pistol, Wrex himself had already been carrying his shotgun in both his arms, obviously quite prepared for the firefight ahead. Garrus was slightly behind, covering their back, carrying himself more like a commando, constantly turning to check for any hazards behind.

"Almost there now," Wrex said, his tone getting lower, "about a minute off."

"Shepard," Josh relayed the information, "approaching target."

"Good," the response came almost instantly, "be cautious, the place looks closed. They may be expecting something. Wait a minute," Josh could hear static as Shepard changed position on the other side, he could her Williams mutter something indiscernible followed immediately by gunshots. The sound of weapons came through immediately on both sides, through the communicator and through the vents.

"Looks like a warm welcome," Wrex chuckled. His whole mass leaned onto a seal in the wall, breaking through the emergency door almost immediately. Garrus and Josh followed right behind.

As the three came out of the side exit they found themselves in the middle of a firefight. A number of armed thugs were returning fire on Shepard and her crew. Luckily, they haven't noticed the unexpected reinforcements. Josh raised his pistol, three quick bursts falling two guards in the distance. As a few more turned Wrex let out a loud roar and fired his shotgun. Garrus was ducking behind cover, firing off quick bursts of the assault rifle.

Fists guards found themselves in the middle of two very co-ordinated groups. Ashley was laying down fire from the opposite side while Shepard provided machine gun cover for Kaidan who worked himself into a closer position. Once one of the guards was reloading Kaidan emerged from his cover letting loose a potent biotic push.

That one sequence spurred Josh to remember that he himself was a biotic, something he forgot a few times in the heat of battle. His had went up, raising one of his opponents of the ground before slamming him back down. The man didn't realize what happened, simply falling unconscious. Garrus popped out of his cover firing a few more bursts right past Josh, Josh turning his head to see a man who was quite obviously aiming at him dead on the ground. He gave the turian an appreciative nod.

Once all of the guards were out Shepard made her way slowly into the club, Ashley and Kaidan covering most the angles.

"Well done," she approached Josh, "they didn't know what hit them." She then spoke to the entire group, "Ash, Kaidan, Garrus, cover our flanks while we go have a small chat with this Fist character."

"Will do Commander," Ashley was again first to respond. Kaidan and Garrus simply nodded.

Shepard led the way as Josh and Wrex followed, weapons on the ready. The security door into the back of the club was encrypted. Shepard quickly ran her fingers through the omni tool, hacking a few commands into the system. After a few resilient beeps the door gave and slid open. Two more guards were standing on the other side, their guns up and pointing at Shepard.

"Warehouse workers," Wrex judged from the way the two were dressed, "a minor nuisance."

"No further," one of the guards said, tremble in his voice.

Josh could see Wrex's finger resting gently on his shotgun trigger, these guards didn't stand a chance. He found himself mentally preparing for a quick biotic strike as well. The guards wouldn't even fire a single shot. This was as unfair a fight as it could get.

"Look behind me," Shepard said calmly, "I've killed at least a dozen guards to get in here, I am armed and I have a krogan at my side, what do you think I will do to you?"

"Shit," the second guard's gun hand was shaking, "fuck it, Fist doesn't pay us enough."

Both worker's dropped their guns and walked right past through Shepard and her companions. Josh looked at them walking away and thought that this was a good decision. These guards have done nothing, they didn't deserve what was about to happen to Fist. Wrex had a different opinion.

"It would have been faster to kill them," Wrex said casually, "save us some time."

Shepard didn't respond, she made her way slowly towards the second door, the one that led to Fist's office. As the group barged in Fist was punching in the last commands to his turret defence system. Two machine gun stations rose up on either side of his table.

"If you want anything done," fist was rumbling to himself, "do it yourself. Dammit."

The man rose his machine gun and let loose with a quick burst in Shepard's direction. Stephanie was fast enough to slide in behind cover, Josh and Wrex doing the same.

"Give it up Fist," Shepard said, "I don't want to kill you."

All she got as a response was another quick burst of fire followed by a few more as the turret system came online.

"I do," Wrex said leaning out of cover and firing a few shots at one of the turrets, shotgun bursts tearing right through metal. Wrex must have been using specialized ammo.

Josh threw up a biotic barrier around himself, jumping out of cover and finding the second turret. He quickly let go of a push, pressing onto the mechanised weapon with force, following it up with a few quick bursts from the pistol, taking the second turret down. During this time he could feel a few shots hitting against his barrier but being stopped. Fist was shooting out of cover however Shepard was quick to react.

As Wrex pressed firing his shotgun, Fist relocated to the other side of his cover. Stephanie's reaction was lightning quick, she came out of her own hiding spot and fired a quick burst followed by another. The first one clipped Fist's assault rifle, the second one got him in the leg, toppling the man down. Their weapons still trained on the club owner, all three approached the man.

"Wait," Fist whined, "don't kill me, I surrender."

"Where is the quarian," Shepard pointed her gun at Fist. Josh didn't know anything about the quarian however he assumed that that was one bit of information that she has gotten from Garrus.

"She's not here," Fist was obviously fairly scared, "I don't know where she is, that's the truth."

"He's no use to you now," Wrex said, "let me kill him."

"Wait, wait," after an obvious threat from the krogan Fist's face went pale, he started talking faster, "I don't know where the quarian is, but I know where you could find her."

"That would constitute as know where she is," Josh smirked, his gun still pointed directly between Fist's eyes.

"The quarian isn't here," Fist went on, "said she'd only deal with the Shadow Broker himself.

"Face to face?" Wrex wasn't confident of the information, "impossible! Even I was hired through an agent."

"Nobody meets the Shadow Broker," Fist was still trying to explain, "ever. Even I don't know his true identity, but she didn't know that. I told her I'd set a meeting up," Josh thought he heard undertones of regret in Fist's voice. "But when she shows up, it will be Saren's men waiting for her.

"Tell me where that meeting is, before I blow your lying head off," Shepards gun went up toward Fist's forehead with lightning quick speed.

"In the wards," Fist answered within seconds, "the back alley around the markets. She's supposed to meet them right now. You can make it if you hurry."

As soon as the last words left Fist's mouth Wrex pulled his shotgun and let loose. The spread of bullets ripped through any shielding Fist may have been wearing, bringing him down in one quick shot. Shepard looked at Wrex questionably.

"The Shadow Broker paid me to kill him," Wrex simply stated, "I don't leave jobs half done."

"A lot of people died because of him," Shepard seemed to agree, "he had it coming. Now let's move, we have to save that quarian."

Without any more words Shepard turned and rushed towards the door they came through. In the initial back room they could already hear the gunfire coming from the heart of the club. It seemed that they were discovered by more of Fist's, or perhaps even Saren's men. Shepard didn't waste any time, rushing straight past Garrus and Ashley who were in cover, assault rifle rattling off a number of shots as she went. Josh and Wrex could only try and keep up.

The krogan stormed the room with the familiar to Josh anticipation of what was to come. For someone of that size he moved with surprised grace, and each shotgun blast delivered swift death to another attacker. Josh himself moved quickly, with a push he toppled one of the guards of balance, quickly delivering his death with a placed shot.

The rest of the group, locked up from the back by Kaidan didn't wait for any further instructions, simply leaving cover to fire on the remaining opposition. The whole fight ended within seconds after that, it was obvious that Shepard's group was well prepared, Josh knew that he was still and battle shape, Wrex was a krogan mercenary, and Garrus definitely made the most of his C-Sec training.

"Move," Stephanie shouted on the go and the rest rushed towards the exit, not pausing for a second.

Shepard was in front, she was moving with amazing speed, but Josh quickly covered the distance and levelled with her. He threw a quick glance in Steph's direction, noticing her focused face, eyes staring directly in front of her, towards her target. Whoever Saren's men were, Josh already felt sorry for them.

When the group got there, the deal was already going down. They couldn't hear anything but the quarian seemed to disagree with whatever the conditions were of the deal. She quickly reacted throwing something towards two salarian attackers and ducking into cover. The turian assassin who was talking to her before ducked into his own corner. As the explosion went off, the two salarian's were knocked back, Josh timed his shots perfectly. He got the first one before that one even had a chance to get up. The second attacker, surprised with his friend's death was caught in a stupor, surprised. That was all the time Josh needed to take aim and fire.

Shepard didn't waste any time either, she was laying down suppressive fire on the turian's position, not letting him lean out of his small cover. Wrex rushed in, without even looking to take cover anywhere. He quickly went down the stairs following the direction of Shepard's fire, his shotgun in one arm. As the krogan mercenary leaned around the corner, his left hand was fully extended with the weapon gripped tightly at the end. Josh wished he could see the expression on the turian assassin's face as the final blast put him out of his misery.

The quarian came out of cover, brushing off her clothes. Shepard didn't waste any time in coming towards her.

"Fist set me up," the quarian sounded angry, "I knew I couldn't trust him."

"Don't worry about Fist," Shepard's voice was quite assuring, "he got what was coming to him."

Josh noticed a small smug expression on the edge of Wrex's lips. The krogan was quite obviously satisfied with a job well done and another assignment in the bag.

"Then I guess there are two things I need to thank you for," the fire in the quarian's voice died down as suddenly as it sparked a few seconds ago. "Who are you?"

"My name's Shepard," Stephanie answered, "I'm looking for evidence to prove Saren is a traitor."

"Then I have a chance to repay you for saving my life," quarian obviously had some information on Saren. Josh wished he knew what it was. "But not here, we need to go somewhere safe."

"The ambassador's office," Ashley, who just caught up to the group butted in, "it's safe there. I want to see this evidence you have anyways."

"All of us do," Josh added.

Shepard was silent, she studied the quarian for a few more moments before making a decisive move towards the elevators.

"Let's go," she said.


	18. Chapter 17: Where From Now?

Disclaimer: Obviously all of the game characters, places etc. are creative property of BioWare.

**Chapter 17**

**Where From Here?**

_Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other_

_Abraham Lincoln_

_Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence_

_George Washington_

Josh and Wrex were waiting outside Ambassador Udina's office while Shepard finished her report along with the evidence from Garrus and Tali. Ashley and Kaidan opted to go inside, but Josh decided to stay out along with his krogan mercenary friend. He felt as if he didn't need to hear what was said as long as the evidence was sufficient enough. The overall hunt felt a success.

Josh was sitting patiently on one of the benches to the side of the Ambassador's office while Wrex was standing up with his back against the wall. The krogan was clutching his shotgun with both hands, lifting it up to his eye level and looking down the barrel occasionally, checking the trigger readiness. Josh was used to Wrex as the silent type from their last encounter. He saw the krogan's way of life, solitary, existing from job to job, kill to kill.

"So," Wrex was surprisingly the first to break the silence, "you figure we'll be going after Saren now?"

"We?" Josh looked up at Wrex from under his brow.

"Well, yeah," Wrex responded, "I mean this Shepard, she will be the one to present proof to the Council, and if Saren is corrupt, she will need to finish the job. I intend to join here," Wrex said, still expecting his shotgun, "I figured you would too."

"Probably," Josh shrugged, still confused himself as to what he would do. He wanted to join Shepard, he needed some kind of purpose behind this, besides, she was one of the closest friends he had, and at the rate he lost those, there were only two left.

Wrex nodded, returning to his weapon. After a few seconds the doors slid open and Stephanie Shepard emerged along with her entourage, which no also included the quarian. Ambassador Udina and Captain Anderson followed, passing by the congregation in front of their office, and heading towards the exit. Wrex straightened out, as much as possible for a krogan, Josh simply looked up at the Commander.

"We've got the bastard," Shepard sounded confident and satisfied, "caught red handed, the council can't deny us now."

"What now?" Wrex asked.

"We have to see what the Council says," Garrus added his voice to the conversation, "there is a possibility they will be hesitant to do anything too drastic, after all Saren is one of their best agents. But he is dirty, that much is clear."

"I have to attend the Council hearing regarding the matter," Shepard admitted, "I will press for action, and if they do not, I will chase him myself."

"He is a Spectre," Kaidan reasoned, "he can go places we cannot Commander, do things we cannot allow ourselves to do. We need the Council on our side, without them we are helpless."

"With the right frame of mind," Wrex contemplated, "no one is helpless, it's just a matter of opinion."

Everyone went silent for a moment, contemplating the krogan's sudden philosophical outburst. Josh could see in the face of everyone that they were ready for action, to go after Saren. Shepard had a great goal in stake and as her subordinates Kaidan and Ashley were ready to follow. Garrus had something against Saren, and Spectre's in general, that much was clear, he was eager to go. Wrex contemplated the battles ahead, and being a krogan he couldn't help but anticipate them. Also, after obvious proof of Saren's guilt there would be a higher demand for him, dead or alive. A bounty for a Spectre was too much for any mercenary to pass up. The only member Josh couldn't judge was the quarian, mostly because of the mask, but also because he hasn't known her long enough, or at all.

As for himself, he knew that he wanted to go. This was something that he was good at, weapon at hand, tracking a target. Besides, Shepard would need someone with a deeper understanding of the world behind the Alliance protocol, someone who has travelled, who has seen places like Omega. To himself, he couldn't leave a friend in trouble, especially when it seemed like that friend needed him. Stephanie would never ask, but he felt that she realized that she would need all the help she needed in tracking one of the Council's most respected and achieved Spectres.

"I need to go to the Council's meeting," she said, "anyone is welcome to join, just know, if I do go after Saren, it will be under my conditions, with my rules."

Wrex let out a sound that could be considered as either accepting or defiant, Shepard seemed to treat it as the former. Garrus nodded, checking his assault rifle, he didn't seem to mind that at all. Kaidan and Ashley simply looked at their Commander, respect in their eyes. The quarian didn't say anything but she seemed to agree, that much was clear. Josh noticed that Stephanie was looking explicitly at him. He couldn't help but shrug his shoulders and nod, the most agreement he could give at the moment.

Without any further discussion the group moved towards the exit from the embassy district. The general Presidium public reacted differently to the composition of Shepard's entourage. Some scrambled out of the way, but the majority chose to stop in their tracks and stare, full of curiosity. Josh couldn't blame them, not many were allowed to carry weapons in the Presidium outside of C-Sec, and here were four humans, a turian, a krogan, and a quarian, all together, moving with determination towards the Council chambers. One could only imagine what the bystanders assumed.

Because of the overall pedestrian caution and curiosity the group got to the Council chambers within minutes. Josh himself found that the elevator ride seemed longer than the actual walk towards the Council building. Shepard was the one setting the pace and she had the pace in her step to rival most. There was a definite goal in the way she moved, a target in the distance she intended to reach.

Once in the actual chambers, Stephanie sped up, almost running up the stairs where Captain Anderson was already waiting. Ashley and Kaidan once again chose to follow, like faithful hounds they never left Shepard's side. Tali, Josh discovered that was the quarian's name, followed them, obviously a key witness in the trial. Josh and Wrex decided to hang back again, Garrus himself had no problem keeping them company.

"So what happens now?" Wrex asked.

"The Council makes their decision," Garrus responded, "if they find the evidence sufficient Saren will most likely be stripped of his Spectre status, and a different Spectre will be send to hunt him down. Even if Shepard presses the case it is highly unlikely she will chosen to chase after a rogue Spectre, she simply doesn't have the same resources to chase after a rogue operative who knows the job inside and out."

"If she is strong," Wrex reasoned, "she will go after him regardless, after all, he attacked a human colony, threatened the Alliance, no krogan clan would ever allow that kind of humiliation to be punished by outsiders."

"There are a lot of limitations that come from being an official Alliance operative," Josh joined the conversation, "a lot of papers, and red tape."

"That is why I never respected organized society," Wrex said resentfully, "always finding limitations to not do what is necessary."

"What is necessary," Garrus interrupted, "may not always be what is right."

"But most of the times it is," Wrex was not about to concede. "You always make it so difficult, so complicated. Papers to fill out, various permits to acquire, which is why mercenaries will never be out of business. We do the job most official organization would not, or at least would not do in time."

Garrus conceded the point. After the argument he seemed to go into himself, lock in. There was obviously something among the things Wrex said that touched the turian. Perhaps there was a story back there, but these were not the moments to probe for such past experiences. This was a moment for resolve, for quick decision making, everyone had to be at their best.

"What's your interest in this?" Josh turned to Wrex.

"Challenge," the krogan chuckled, "if Saren is as resourceful and as accomplished as they say, taking him down will not be an easy task. Besides, after he betrayed the Shadow Broker, the price on him rose drastically. What about you," Wrex switched the flow of the conversation, "last time we met you weren't particularly interested in Alliance affairs."

"I figured something out," Josh smiled faintly, "I'm good at this. Good at finding people, good at combat, this is what I do. And besides, after last time," he paused, "and after Eden Prime, I discovered this feeling inside, something that welcomes every upcoming battle. It, I'm not sure how to describe this, it..."

"Consumes you," Wrex seemed to smile, at least to Josh. "Spoken like a true krogan. It is the greatest feeling in the world. May we be judged by the strength of our enemies, and Saren is one of the strongest. What about this woman though, does she have what it takes?"

"Stephanie?" Josh mused, "she is one of the more accomplished members of the Alliance, an N7 operative as well. If anyone amongst humanity has what it takes to bring Saren down, she is the best representative in my opinion. But, she is also my friend so the opinion can be slightly biased."

"Only time will tell," Wrex agreed.

The rest of the waiting was spent in silence. Garrus was still seemed to contemplate a particular part of his past, something brought out earlier. Wrex and Josh simply waited, inspecting their weapons. Josh found that he enjoyed the krogan's company. The mercenary's view of life had a primitive aspect about it, something feral and untamed, however he also had a deeper side, something within him that his krogan origin didn't let shine through that often.

After about ten more minutes there was some sort of commotion around the Citadel, a number of visitors flocked towards the Council audience area. Josh and his companions remained in their places, no need to create more of a crowd. Ten minutes later Shepard emerged with Tali, Kaidan, and Ashley behind her. Both Kaidan and Ashley were staring at the Commander's back, there was an overwhelming amount of pride and respect in their eyes, even more so than before.

"How did it go," Garrus was the first to ask, even though everyone who stayed behind wondered.

"The mission to track Saren is a go," Shepard announced, completely serious, "I will be putting together my own operations squad to go after Saren, and I am extending the invitation for all three of you to join me."

"They didn't send another Spectre?" Garrus asked.

"They did," Ashley couldn't hold it in any longer. As the words escaped her mouth so did a very wide smile. Gunner Chief was quite obviously happy for Stephanie's unexpected promotion.

"First human Spectre?" Garrus said to himself, "never thought I'd see the day. I'm in, I could use a break from all the C-Sec regulations."

Wrex did nothing more than nod, his approval was never under question in Josh's mind, the krogan has already expressed desire to go after Saren, what he would do when they caught up to the turian was another question for another time. Josh found once again that everyone was looking at him, waiting for his response.

"I'm in," he said confidently, "on one condition, as an outside operative. I do not want to renew my ties with the Alliance any further than that."

"I will have to accept that for now," Steph seemed to change into a lighter tone for the moment. "Very well. I intend to leave the Citadel as soon as possible. There are a few leads to follow on, the Council will inform me later tonight of our next actions. I expect everyone at the space port, 0600 hours."

"Do we have a ship," Wrex interjected.

"Let the Alliance worry about that," Shepard responded instantly, "for now, if you agree to join the mission, I expect you to be at the space port at the designated time. Dismissed."

Shepard started walking towards the elevator, Kaidan followed in her footsteps. Tali mentioned something about looking for new equipment and headed off towards the CRTS terminal not far away.

"I better inform C-Sec of my temporary leave of absence," Garrus said, more to himself than to anyone else and left as well.

Wrex went silently, not saying a word, Josh tried to read the krogan's face one more time, he came up with very little. From what he could perceive the mercenary was happy that he was to chase down a very dangerous criminal across the galaxy, all krogan loved conflict, they thrived on it. And just like that, only Josh and Ashley were left.

"First time on the citadel?" Josh asked.

"Yeah," Ashley smiled timidly, lowering her gaze a bit, "I kind of wanted to look around before we left."

"I wouldn't mind being your guide," Josh answered, "or at least accompany you. Although I think it would be better if we didn't carry all the guns with us. Doesn't bode well in civilized areas."

Ashley smiled and nodded. "Maybe we should meet in a few hours then?"

"Two hours at the presidium?" Josh proposed, "outside of the embassy building?"

"Deal," the Gunner Chief nodded, and headed towards the elevator.

Josh hung back. He studied the Council chambers and the people around. The commotion from earlier seemed to settle down, but from the way most people looked at Shepard when she appeared it was clear that she was the cause of it in the first place. First human Spectre, it was a long time coming, and another stepping stone for humanity towards the seat on the Council. The species were moving up the bureaucratic ladder faster than anyone else in the galaxy, and they were the last race to join the intergalactic community. This would no doubt spark continuous debates and micro-conflicts among the rest of the community.

Breaking from his thought Josh decided it was just about time to go get some rest before going to meet Ashley for their little walk through the presidium. There had to be an affordable hotel in the wards.

MExMExMExME

The hotel room was small and quiet. It was not a big establishment ran by an elderly human couple, a 'mom & dad' business more or less similar to old bed and breakfasts back on earth. Tradition died hard, even on other planets. Josh threw his stuff on the bed, there wasn't much though. A small duffle bag with a few sets of clothing, that's about it. He spent a lot of his time on the go, in space, he didn't need much. Perhaps if he still had time it was a good occasion to rework his wardrobe.

After a few moments he hooked up the portable communicator. The hotel had their own in the room, but Josh's was encrypted. His last nine years taught him one thing, there was always someone listening. There were only two numbers to call, both equally important to him, so he decided to dial them in no particular order.

The first call connected right away, there was some grumbling on the other side, then a voice with an indistinct request.

"Hello," his sister's voice read loud and clear.

"Sarah?" Josh sounded timid to himself, why the hell was he so nervous? "It's me."

"Finally," Sarah sounded angry, "you think you could have called _your own sister_ a little earlier after the news of the attack on Eden Prime broke? They're running taglines like 'Minimal Survivor's' and other kind of bullshit. A normal brother would assume I was worried."

"I got caught up," Josh felt guilty, "I'm sorry, there were a few things I needed to take care of first."

"Well it's good to see you have your priorities in order," Sarah still fumed on the other end, "I guess I'll just fuck off now!"

"Sarah," Josh tried not to back up any further into a corner, "look, I said I was sorry."

"That changes everything," she gave one last outburst before coming down slightly, "so what the hell happened back there?"

"I'm not sure," Josh finally allowed himself to relax. Even though he was talking to his sister over the phone he had a distinct feeling of her standing over him, lecturing, just like mom used to. "But I am going to find out."

"Josh," Sarah's voice softened, "please don't go on another wild chase through the galaxy. For me?"

"I'm not," Josh reassured his sister, "I'm joining Shepard, she's a Spectre now."

"I've heard," Sarah didn't sound at all surprised.

"I thought that kind of information was classified," Josh said, trying not to sound too judgmental.

"You don't run a successful business without being aware of the world around you Josh." Sarah was always the first to remind him of the value of information.

"I suppose not," Josh reasoned, "but I figure she can handle it. She asked me to join her, I accepted."

"You're back in the Alliance now?" that seemed to throw Sarah off a bit.

"No," Josh was honest, "I'm part of the mission as an outside operative, Steph's got the full reigns on this one, she wants it done her way, with her people."

"I see," Sarah paused. Josh could hear rumbling in the background, a few more voices. "Look, Josh I have to go, Jessie is visiting for the weekend, I don't get to see her at all since she left to University last year. Can you please develop a habit of giving your sister more regular calls though?"

"I can't promise, but I'll try," Josh chuckled.

"You damn well better," he heard on the other end right before Sarah cut off.

The second call took a little bit longer to make. Josh replayed various scenarios in his head, what he was going to say, how he was going to explain this. After all, he simply disappeared right after the attack. He heard stories of Eden Prime, how gruesome everything ended back there after he was knocked out. He didn't have the strength to deal with a tiring conversation right now, but the call had to be made. The communicator buzzed for a few moments, skipping a few 'dial tones' before someone finally answered on the other side.

"Hello?" Kamilah sounded tired, defeated.

"Hey," Josh tried to soften his voice as much as he could, "how are you?"

"Josh," her voice picked up a bit, slightly more excited than before, "is that you? Thank God you're alright. I mean after the attack they just took you away, they said the Alliance needed your help for some kind of investigation, I didn't know what to think."

"Kam, Kam," Josh tried to slow her down, "you're rambling, I'm fine. I'm calling to see how you are doing, if you're all good?"

"I don't know Josh," her voice dropped again, for a second Josh wished it was a holographic communicator, but his broken a few weeks ago, "I just don't know. It was terrible, after you left, they pressed on, in waves, I've never seen so many geth. And then the ship, I didn't know what to do, bunkered a few people in the main building, the only one built to sustain heavy attacks. I wanted to go out but most soldiers formed the line and insisted that I needed to stay in. It was terrible Josh, most of them are gone, it was like Elysium all over again."

"Kam," Josh felt a slight tremble in his voice, "I'm sorry I wasn't there, I am. I don't know what to say, I just hope you're alright."

"I'm doing better," Kamilah sounded genuine, "I really am, but it's still a long process. Pierre is talking about going to Earth, or at least a major city somewhere, I agree. I think I'm done with colonies."

"I think its best," Josh said, "let me knew where you go, I'll definitely come for a visit."

"Josh?" she said after a pause.

"Yeah..."

"What's going to happen now?" Kamilah asked, "I mean in regards to Eden Prime, is something going to happen? It has to. Right?"

"It will," Josh said, "the council sanctioned an investigation of those responsible, Stephanie is in charge."

"Shepard?" Kamilah's voice picked up just a bit again, "she'll see this through, she will."

"I know," Josh said, "she will, I'm joining her with it. Whoever it was won't get away, they deserve everything they have coming. I promise."

"I know they will," Kamilah almost sounded normal now, as she always did, "I know. I miss you. I'll give you an email when we know where we're headed, I expect you to come visit more frequently than every nine years."

"It's a promise," Josh smiled, he put his hand on the communicator, wishing he could hold Kamilah now. Not in the romantic way, but as a friend. After Elysium they shared so much and she meant a lot to him, he wished he could be close to her, help her out through this time. It wasn't easy to see one's perfect world crumble in front of them, he knew that better than anyone.

"Bye," her voice faded as the communication on the other side cut off.

Kamilah's voice still rung in Josh's head as he took a shower and was preparing to explore the presidium. He felt a terrible friend, never there when he was needed, but he knew that the mission at hand was important. Whatever the attack on Eden Prime meant, it was something significant.

For the rest of his day Josh decided to go with something more casual. Despite years of progress humanity has not found a viable substitute for simple jeans however, Josh went with his worn down Levi's for the occasion. He slit a pack of cigarettes as well as his worn down Zippo into his pockets and continued getting dress. For the top he preferred a vintage Ghostbusters t-shirt with a cardigan vest over top. He always preferred clothing that served as a relic for old human culture. His father was really into all of that so was his mom, never leaving Earth developed certain habits in them. Josh himself watched old movies when he was a child, and Ghostbusters was as ancient as they came, as older than any significant mode of space travel for humanity. When he wore those things no one ever recognized them, it felt that he had a secret of his own, something of his personality that resonated with his ancestors, and considering Shepard's recent 'promotion,' an image of a ghost, or a ghostly spectre seemed highly appropriate, even if it was crossed out.

Josh stared at his weapons for a second. Walking around the presidium and the wards without a gun wouldn't be too dangerous, but years have taught him to always be prepared. After long consideration Josh pulled out a small shoulder holster from his bag and tucked his pistol into it safely underneath the cardigan. He checked for everything to be in order before leaving his room and looking the door behind him with a regular lock, followed by an encryption. The hotel was truly old fashioned.

MExMExMExME

Williams was running late but Josh didn't mind one bit. He enjoyed the last bit of his cigarette and studied the presidium. He could see the asari consort's chambers across the canal, with customers constantly coming and going. He would have to check the place out himself one of these days, perhaps during his later visits to the Citadel. He hoped that everything about the consort was true, that her services truly did extend beyond the simple physical pleasure phenomenon, otherwise she would turn out to be nothing more than a high priced prostitute.

"That stuff will kill ya'" Josh heard a familiar voice behind him. Ashley was clearly referring to his cigarette.

"So will chocking on spoonful of soup," Josh responded in his regular manner, turning around and studying his 'date.'

Ashley was out of her military attire for the first time, and as much as the uniform flattered her, civilian clothes did even more. She chose to wear a simple t-shirt with a pair of jeans, her hair tied back in the regular manner. Despite that she still had a somewhat 'classy' look to her while keeping it completely casual. It was clear that neither of them wanted to treat this as a date, simply two co-workers going for a night out.

"Been waiting long?" she asked quickly.

"Not really," Josh found that he was staring, trying to avert his eyes to less 'private' areas. _What the hell is wrong with you? Never seen a woman before? _He thought to himself.

"Good," Ashley said, "hate making people wait. Ready to go?"

"Absolutely," he smiled, stretching out his arm in an old fashion gentleman manner. Ashley hesitated for a second before accepting, tucking her own hand under his shoulder and around her elbow. "Just so you know though, this is not a date."

"Of course not," Josh spoke in casual manner, "just two co-workers enjoying shore leave before embarking on a mission with a first human Spectre. Completely natural."

Ashley chuckled as they moved on. For about 15 minutes they walked silently around the presidium, the Gunnery Chief exploring everything around here. They lingered at a few locations she found more worthy of it than the others. Josh simply hung back. He had no doubt the presidium was beautiful in its own right, but he always thought of it as a recreation, a prototype if the word was fully appropriate, not the real thing. The only purpose it served was to remind him of home, of Earth.

Williams on the other hand seemed to enjoy the sightseeing tour. It was no surprise as she most likely spent the majority of her life in the Alliance, on distance colonies or remote space locations, this was a well deserved break and a chance to see the Citadel. With the amount of things said about the Citadel it wasn't too surprising that most people wanted to explore it so much.

"So," Josh broke the silence about twenty minutes in, "what do you think of our little 'mission'?"

"You mean tracking down a rogue Spectre?" Ashley responded, her tone more light hearted than it ever was, "I think the Council chose the right woman for the job. I mean, Commander is one of the most accomplished officers we have, Elysium, then Torfan, plus all of that N7 experience. Anyone would be hard pressed to find a better candidate amongst all of humanity. I just..." She stopped as suddenly as she started.

"You just what?" Josh pressed on, with a smile on his lips.

"I'm just not sure if the team is up for it," Ashley admitted.

"I think whatever team Stephanie gets will be specifically selected to fit for the mission," Josh reasoned, "after all, she is the first human Spectre, there shouldn't be a shortage of people wanting to serve under her."

"It's not that," Ashley was still hesitant, as if she was scared to reveal something.

"What is it then?" Josh wanted to probe deeper, but carefully. Him and Gunnery Chief would have to be part of the same squad in the future, it wasn't a good time to continue their rivalry.

"I don't know," Ashley preferred to circle the issue rather than discuss it, "it's just, I think this is an Alliance affair, I think we should be the ones to handle it, and now we have all of the additions to the team, seems a little bit unnecessary. It should be the time to show the Council humanity is strong to handle its own concerns."

"So that's it," Josh mused, "a little problem with the aliens on the mission? Didn't figure you for one of the completely 'pro-human' activists Ash."

"Look," Ashley sounded slightly irritated, a sign that the conversation may have gone a little too far, "it's not that I have a problem with them as it stands. Shepard is a skilled commander, she knows what she's doing, if she thinks they will be good for the mission, so be it. I just question their motivations. The turian agent is a C-Sec officer, they work straight under Council, what if we have to break some of their rules to deal with Saren, what then."

"I guess it's good that Spectres have the authority beyond Council's legislations," Josh answered, noting the more serious route the conversation was taking.

"I realize that," Ashley conceded a small point, "but so what? What if he is there to report our actions? And the quarian, they are scavengers, always looking for technology and stuff, besides they invented the geth. Finally," Ashley took a quick breather in her rant, "the krogan. Who knows where his allegiance may lie, he is a mercenary when it is all said and done, who's to say that he won't just turn on us if Saren offers him a better deal?"

"I can vouch for Wrex," Josh said with a stern look, "he had saved my life before. Him I trust more than most people on this mission."

"Look," Ashley seemed a little irritated, "I think this is enough of this conversation, I think I've revealed a bit too much of my personal opinion in this, not always a good thing. Can we just walk for a while, enjoy the view?"

"Definitely," Josh agreed, this may have gone a little too far, but he liked to know where most people stood on the mission. After all, he would probably be in the position of trusting his life to someone at some point. At the moment he was glad that he was human, meant that Ashley wouldn't have a hesitation to save him from a threat. Her attitude towards non-humans was a little worrying though, from the looks of it, there may be conflict brewing in the future.

The rest of the walk went silent. Ashley was obviously a little worried she may have revealed too much, keeping her distance from Josh now. She walked up front and never lingered for too long, not letting him 'question' her for any longer. Josh accepted that defeat in 'making friendly,' admitting that perhaps part of it was his fault. He trusted that most people would be right for the job, Shepard's judgment has not failed her in the past and he didn't believe things were about to change. Besides, Ashley was right, the Council did have the right woman for the job. Stephanie was very thorough and very dedicated to the cause, nothing would stop her, and now, with Spectre status she had access to resources she previously hadn't.

The problem however remained, Saren was also a Spectre, or at least an ex-Spectre. The Council had no doubt stripped him of that status, however the turian was well aware of the rules of engagement. He had done this job for years, has seen a number of assignments, strategically, he had the upper hand. On the other hand, Shepard was a different kind of Spectre, - a human one. Saren had never encountered that, perhaps that would be the edge they needed to gain on him. Stephanie would bring most of her Alliance experience to the task.

After about an hour of silent exploration Josh felt his stomach rumble, he felt as if he hadn't eaten in a week, that could have easily been true as well. Ashley seemed to get hungry as well. She slowed down with her wandering and levelled with Josh. She was looking around more frantically now, looking at the various signs above a number of shops on the presidium.

"Want to go grab something to eat Chief?" Josh turned to her.

"Wouldn't mind it," Ashley smiled for the first time after their conversation. "What do you have in mind?"

"There is this recommendation I got from the hotel," Josh admitted, "a place that should be near, with a good view of the presidium, so they say. Both asari and human kitchen."

Ashley nodded although Josh could detect a bit of hesitation on her face. He didn't want to judge too fast but he felt that it had something to do with the place serving asari food as well human one. There was some kind of story behind it, he was sure, but he didn't want to probe too much. Luckily the place wasn't too far and they found it without a problem.

The restaurant itself was somewhat small, a cozy little place tucked away on the side of many shops and bigger establishments. The asari hostess smiled at them as soon as they walked in, "evening, how may we serve you tonight?"

"How about a window seat," Josh smiled, "with a nice view."

"Certainly," the hostess was courteous, grabbing one of the waiters to guide Ashley to their table, Josh stuck back.

"Hey," he leaned in once Ashley was out of ear's reach, "can you assign tonight's visit to official Council business budget? Name is Joshua Dri, I am under Commander Shepard, official Spectre investigation."

The asari listened carefully to the information before entering it into her computer. After a few moments the system beeped. Josh was taking a shot in the dark, but he assumed Council and Spectres often utilized various resources, especially on the Citadel, this was worth a shot. The asari hostess looked up and nodded, obviously quite satisfied with the confirmation the computer gave her. Josh smiled and walked over to join Ashley at their table.

"Real romantic," Ashley remarked sarcastically, "but don't get any ideas, this is still a professional meeting if anything. What did you have to discuss with the hostess anyways?"

"Just handling a few financial questions," Josh answered, getting settled in his chair. The waitress didn't make them wait long.

Their server was asari, quite young by their standards, probably not older than 200 judging from her looks. She had a slender figure to rival most of human supermodels and the tips of her head were tinted slightly greenish, an act of following some asari fashion trend no doubt. She handled herself with a certain amount of grace as she walked over to the two of them, took out a little pen and a notepad. Josh was surprised to see they still used pen and paper at places like these, they definitely wanted to create a more 'natural' atmosphere.

"What will you have tonight," she asked. Her voice was melodic, one of those one in the million types that ended up in opera somewhere, not serving food to over privileged business men and women on the Citadel.

"I'll have a regular cheeseburger and fries," Ashley went first, "and a beer. What do you have in terms of beers from Earth?"

"We have MGD, Stella, and Heineken," the waiter listed off the brands, "all in bottle and on tap depending on your preference."

"MGD," Ashley decided, "bottle."

"And for you sir?"

"What would you recommend out of the asari kitchen?" Josh asked, closing the menu and readjusting to make more eye contact with the waitress. He could see Ashley's surprised look out of his periphery.

"Well our special is quite good sir," the waitress rattled off the top of her mind, "it's a salad made out of ingredients grown exclusively on Thessia. Also it contains a number of Thessian marine life ingredients."

"Sounds good enough," Josh agreed, "and whatever would be the good asari wine to go with that then."

"Certainly."

The waitress walked away, her strut definitely highlighting the best parts of her figure. She was definitely aware of her natural advantage and wasn't afraid to use it. No doubt she got lots of tips from a number of visitors just for walking like that. Ashley was staring out the window, quite obviously mesmerised by the view. Josh peeked as well, there was something to marvel at in the view. The window opened up into the presidium from the top, exposing the best of it to the view, the endless horizon tracked the artificial canal almost all the way to the bottom of one of many Citadel's arms.

"So," Josh turned to Ashley, "all the unpleasant topics aside, how did you end up in the Alliance?"

"Good conversation started," Ashley poked fun, not really trying to avoid the question, but rather delaying the answer. "Family tradition, enlisted right out of school."

"Family didn't mind?" Josh was curious considering his own pains in revealing to his household the desire to join the Alliance.

"Practically encouraged it," Ashley said, "father was in the Alliance, and uncle too. I was the oldest of four sisters, so it was my choice completely. They had other three girls to worry about. Enough just to let one go."

"Still," Josh responded, "must have been hard to leave your sisters behind. Being the oldest they probably looked up to you the most."

"They did," Ashley admitted, just as the drinks arrived, "but it's not like they didn't have lives of their own. Our dad raised us right, we could always take care of ourselves. I do miss them though, despite the fact that we keep in touch on regular basis."

"Ever served on a vessel?" Josh asked.

"No," Ashley's face dropped a little, it was obvious that Josh touched a sour note, "never. After my training they just assigned me from colony to colony, always applied for a ship though, never happened."

"This is your chance then," Josh smiled, taking a taste of his wine, it was exquisite. "In space, under one of the best Commanders Alliance has to offer, on the hunt for a rogue Spectre, your chance to prove yourself."

"I know," Ashley said, still a little reserved, "I just wish I didn't have to come under such circumstances. I lost a squad on Eden Prime, a good squad. I'm used to seeing people die, but that, that was something else. The attack was brutal and I just can't believe most of them are gone. It still seems like a dream."

Josh knew very well how it felt. He often shot back to his memories of Elysium, both during his training and actual duty. His hand twitched, instinctively reaching towards his chest. The chain around his neck no longer held his own Alliance tag on it, it was reserved for Zeke's and also had some extra space for Tania's locket. He felt them pressing against his skin, cold metal touching his body. This was his memento, something that kept him sane.

"I know how it feels," he said quietly, taking in more of the wine.

Just at that time the food has arrived. Josh looked across at Ashley's plate, the asari have mastered the perfection of human food, surprising Josh. The cheeseburger looked absolutely scrumptious and the fries beside it could rival the best places on Earth. Ashley began to devour her meal without any hesitation. On his own side of hesitation Josh was faced with a symmetrically aligned salad with bits of various fish through it. It looked phenomenal. With a small instance of hesitation Josh gathered some of his dish onto a fork and put it in his mouth. His taste buds sang in gratitude, this was the most delicious thing he had ever. The ingredients created a perfect bland, coexisting in balance. He chased it with some wine, amplifying the flavour even more.

"This is good," Ashley spoke, mouth half full with a chunk of burger, "they nailed it."

Josh nodded.

"So," Ashley said after she was finished with her bite, "how about you. You used to be in the Alliance as well. From what Shepard says you were a good assent on Elysium, why did you join? More importantly why did you quit?"

"Parents were against it," Josh said, still enjoying his food, "I decided to defy them and join up anyways. Always wanted to travel, see new planets, felt like the best way. My sister still hates me for leaving her alone for a while."

"You have a sister?" Ashley sounded surprised.

"Older," Josh nodded, "always worried, but she is great. I've just spoken to her today. As for why I quite, there are just too many factors to discuss it."

"Such as," Ashley pressed.

"Shit happens," Josh tried to remain passive to the topic. He had his ghosts, and they stayed his. They didn't haunt him as much anymore, but it wasn't a good enough reason to bring them up again. "Some of it that happened during Elysium was too much. I took a leave of absence and never returned. That was my choice."

"So you just ran," Ashley didn't seem the type to give up an argument, "just like that? Leaving all of your friends and everyone else behind?"

"Yes," Josh said in a tone that signified that he wouldn't answer any more questions. _Let her think that_, he thought to himself, _no point in reliving it again._

Ashley took the hint, not dropping a word for the rest of their meal. After the food was done she promptly excused herself on the account of having to prepare her possessions for transfer to the other ship. Josh was left all alone to his thoughts. This wasn't exactly the best evening of his life, but he had the intention of making it better. Making friends with Shepard's staff was obviously yielding contrary results. Josh promised himself he wouldn't try too hard anymore with that particular aspect. Everyone had their ghosts, everyone wanted those ghosts left alone.

Decisively he got up and headed out of the restaurant. The meal filled him up nicely and now he was ready to do anything. After wandering the presidium for about a quarter of an hour more he headed towards the wards. The evening was just getting started and it was time to embrace the Citadel night life in all its glory.

MExMExMExME

Mint was in the center of the wards, close to the presidium elevators, and far enough from the less privileged residence areas of the wards. Josh headed through the bar after being searched by the bouncers and having to present his civilian weapon permit. The two bartenders were cute girls, one asari and one human. Their appearance complemented each other perfectly, they were designed to get the most oogles and tips from the tipsy customers.

Josh sat at the bar, cracking his neck. This day was long, too long for his liking. First the whole investigation process and then this meeting with Ashley. Too many things happened that shouldn't have, it was truly tiring. This was the time to relax, unwind, an opportunity to leave on the assignment in a right frame of mind. The human waitress noticed him and made her way towards him immediately, making sure her breasts the first thing he saw.

"What will it be sweetheart?" she asked, even though she looked young there was a maturity to her behaviour.

"Double scotch on the rocks," Josh said.

"Throw the usual on top of that," he heard a female voice with an Australian accent note in it. It sounded seductive and yet comforting, an incredibly weird combination.

"Sure thing Ms Lawson," the waiter nodded and scrambled to get the drinks ready, "coming right up."

"Long day?" the owner of the Australian accent was now directly across from Josh. Her dark hair covered her shoulders, and her face gleamed. She was incredibly attractive, excessively so, without even trying. Her clothes highlighted every counter of her perfect figure. She was as gorgeous as they came. Josh found himself staring, it was hard to take eyes off her.

"You can say so," he admitted, trying to maintain eye contact, "not long enough to let a beautiful woman pay for me. I think I got this."

"Don't bother," the woman stopped him from reaching for his omni-tool to transfer money to the bar, "they won't accept it anyways. I won't let them," there was that seductive smile.

"Fine," Josh said resentfully, "but in return for me not pressing this point you have to at least tell me your name Ms Lawson."

"Miranda," she smiled again, "Miranda Lawson. So what's your purpose on the Citadel..."

"Josh."

"Josh..."

"Business," he said honestly, "maybe a little bit of pleasure. I'll see how that goes."

"Be sure to let me know," Miranda smiled at him, "would you like to join me at my table? It's kind of lonely there on my own."

"Sure thing," Josh agreed.

Miranda reached across and took his hand. He could feel the warm touch of her fingers against his, her gentle touch leading him forward. Josh couldn't help but feel mesmerised by her quite obvious beauty. The past experience told him that women like this were too good to be true, but nothing could stop him now. Miranda sat down at the table as Josh took a seat across from her, drink in hand. As he sipped on his scotch she was enjoying her martini, and from the look of it, it was quite an impressive drink. Whoever she was she had to credits to enjoy herself.

"So how about you," Josh leaned onto the table, looking Miranda straight in the eyes, "business or pleasure?"

"Why can't it be a little bit of both," Miranda gave him a devious smile, still sipping on her drink in a slow, measured manner. Josh could see her eyes studying him intently, both face and body.

"Fair enough," Josh smiled leaning back and enjoying his scotch, this was definitely a good drink, different from the watered down stuff most bars offered. Whoever this woman was, she was quite obviously important.

"I hate wasting time though," Miranda smiled, "and it's getting too loud and packed with kids who don't know how to handle money. Want to go somewhere a little more quiet..."

Josh knew there was an _intimate_ at the end of that sentence, but he was good at taking the hint from what was not said. He looked around, admitting that Miranda was quite right, the place was getting slowly packed with more than a few representatives of younger generations. When he turned back Miranda was leaning towards him, index finger of her left hand toying with the rim of her martini glass. He could see a small glimmer of excitement in her eyes, and any doubt escaped him right away. It was almost too long since he has experienced the company of a woman, much longer than he dared to admit.

"Sure," he agreed, "just let me finish my drink." In one smooth movement Josh brought his glass towards his mouth and emptied the contents of it. Miranda followed suit with her martini, getting up and taking Josh by the hand. She guided him through the already fairly crowded main floor towards the exit. He couldn't resist, her soft hand clutching his with such force yet such tender concern.

When they made it out she rattled down the stairs and he followed in her footsteps. A few steps down Josh felt slightly queasy, he stumbled a bit. His vision blurred slightly, and perception thrown off. He looked down on Miranda staring at him from the bottom of the stairs. Determined to make it, Josh took a few more steps, hands clutching at the handles on the sides desperately. His whole body leaned forward and his vision gave out. He fell. Last thing he remembered was a man appearing from behind Miranda to catch his falling body, and that smile, that mischievous, seductive smile.


	19. Chapter 18: Incognito

**Disclaimer: Obviously all of the game characters, places etc. are creative property of BioWare.**

**Thanks for the review... I know I've been slacking a bit and I may have some inconsistencies here and there so if anyone wants to point those out in a review constructive criticism and comments are always welcome. Cheers.**

**GTA Manic: Yeah, I do plan to expand a bit on the nine years situation with flashbacks and such probably sometime soon. I also do very much enjoy bringing in characters that exist in the ME universe into play, so you bet Miranda plays a part. Cerberus had a lot riding on Shepard come ME 2 so it's only right that they've had a long standing interest... **

**Also I kind of hope to bring out the complexity of Josh's character a bit more in the next few chapters, he might make questionable decisions, he might be a bit lost at first, mostly because he is caught between two worlds he lived in, so even though the 9 year hiatus was not described it shows that it affected him...**

**Chapter 18**

**Incognito**

_True genius resides in the capacity for evaluation of uncertain, hazardous, and conflicting information. _

_Winston Churchill_

_There are two things in ordinary conversation which ordinary people dislike information and wit. _

_Stephen Leacock_

The world was slowly shifting into focus, bit by bit Josh was able to make out the grey shades on the ceiling with a small distant glare reflecting off the polished surface. He blinked a few times attempting to dispel his momentary dizziness, but nothing worked. It felt as if someone has put a filter over his eyes, without any possibility to remove it. His body itself also remained unresponsive, there was very little choice but to lie there and wait for any indication of what has happened.

There were distant voices coming from somewhere, most likely a different room. Josh could hear the faint intonations but he couldn't exactly make anything of the words said, catching only about every fifth. The voices got closer and the sound of a door sliding open spread through the room. There were footsteps but no more conversation, perhaps the two people have split up as one decided to enter the room.

Josh tried to move again, this time his body obeyed. At least somewhat. He slowly forced his hands towards his eyes, rubbing them intensely. After a few brief moments most things slid back into focus. He tried to get up again, using both hands as a push-off force. Slowly, his body rose into an upright position. Just as he sat up straight Josh felt a spell of dizziness as he ended up back on the bed where he started.

"Try not to move too fast for the moment," he heard a familiar Australian accent, "even though it was just a mild sedative it was still a significant dose. No rapid movements will speed up your brain recovering."

"Where am I," Josh tried to sound confident, but when he heard himself, words were barely escaping his throat, too coarse rolling off his tongue.

"In a safe place," Miranda reassured him, "my employer wouldn't want you to come to any harm. At least not before he meets you."

_Who?_ Josh wanted to ask, but his throat felt too dried up for any more talking. He lay still as Miranda walked around the room. Occasionally she would type something into a computer or perhaps onto her omni-tool, and the sound escalated through the room. She didn't seem too concerned with Josh simply lying in the middle of it all.

"Try to concentrate," she finally spoke, "there isn't much time."

Josh had way too many questions and he was also too angry to communicate properly, it was best to keep his mouth shut, at least until he learned who exactly Miranda worked for and why they needed him. Most of his concentration went into getting his body to respond properly.

He started out with slow, controlled movements, moving his own fingers and toes. After a few moments it was time to move up to more complex movements such as bending the joints. He felt every move ring through his body, the muscles becoming more responsive with every little twist. His mind seemed to adjust as well. As Josh was stretching out his muscle memory everything in his view became crisp, focused. The sounds through the room amplified, he could now hear them for what they were, every step, every encounter of Miranda's finger with the keyboard. This was a slow process.

Finally Josh felt as if he did sufficient enough to sit up. He forced his body to obey, pushing himself upward and sitting up, his feet dangling from the side of a medical bed. He appeared to be in some kind of little laboratory. The equipment around seemed high tech, too much for any official government organization, so this was something else. Miranda was typing something into the computer.

"You're up," she said without breaking away from the keypad, "good. Make sure you're good to stand and then head out of the door, take a right and go down the stairs into the communications room. Don't worry, you won't get lost all the other ways are either guarded or encrypted."

"Who are you?" Josh was still sitting on the bed, looking around, "where the hell am I?"

"I believe all of those questions will be answered in due time," Miranda finally turned around, the famous smile she flashed at him during their bar encounter now seemed dangerous and sly. "We do not have much time Mr Dri, and the issues my boss wishes to discuss are hard pressing."

"Who do you work for," Josh felt his strength fully return to him, the last question was more forceful than the ones before.

"Once again," Miranda looked Josh square in the eyes, "that information will be given to you further down the line, if at all. Now," she pulled out a pistol and pointed at Josh, "will you be able to find the communications room from my directions in the nearest five minutes or shall I escort you?"

The way she handled the pistol seemed so calm, collected, as if she'd done this before. Josh had very little doubt that she did. There was an aura of a cold, calculated professional around Miranda now, and the fact that she deceived him at the bar spoke to that. She used what she had to her advantage, in this case breathtaking looks were a bait, and he fell straight for it. Josh judged himself for that, that he would succumb to such basic sexual instincts and let himself be caught in a net. He felt so... novice.

Josh got out of bed and looked around, there was only one exist door. He pointed at the door, questionable expression on his face. Miranda looked at him from underneath her brow and nodded. As Josh exited the room he could see the smile on her face, she was full of self satisfaction. That made Josh feel even worse about his predicament. He got caught, there was nothing else to it. He felt that after years of tracking and hiding through the Traverse he was adept at surviving in difficult situations, used to always having his guard up. Returning to the civilized world and the Citadel itself have dulled his caution. This was a warning sign.

The path went exactly the way Miranda described it. Josh didn't even bother checking the side doors knowing that there were only two options with them – heavy encrypted locks, or armed guards. Neither of the two spelled success. The communication room was dark, with no obvious comm stations around. As Josh stepped in the middle an orange glow of laser scans warped around his body, up and down, scanning every bit of him.

As the lasers did their job, the images around him came into view, a holographic projection of a distant room. In the background Josh could see big planet, orange glow coming from its middle, on the other hand it could have easily been a star. There were a number of holographic displays through the room, many with stats or other detailed information. In the middle, a man sat in the chair, one leg crossed over the other.

The man was dressed in an expensive suit, the way it casually sat around his body spoke of a certain amount of swagger, he was used to luxury. There was a cigarette in his hand which he slowly smoked, enjoying every moment of it. A glass of what appeared to be whiskey or scotch was also at his side. The man looked up to face Josh, brushing off the ash from the top of his cigarette. His eyes were shining blue, with some kind of pattern within them, probably a result of plastic surgery. Josh felt immediately uncomfortable with the man staring at him so intently.

"Mr Dri," the man spoke, his voice was calm, soothing, with a hint of not so distant intelligence behind it, "pleasure to meet you. A shame it would happen under such... circumstances."

"Who are you," Josh answered, still looking around the room.

"I can go by many names Mr Dri," the man went on, "most of which would mean nothing to you. My identity however is not important as much as your current predicament."

Josh studied the man's face as the man took a break to inhale another toke and chase it down with his drink, face cringing just a bit at the edges of the lips after the shot. The man then cleared his throat before proceeding with the conversation.

"You find yourself in the command of Commander Shepard," he pulled up a small holo-pad, Josh could see writing on it. "The first human Spectre, an honour not lightly bestowed. Shepard is now paramount to humanity's success on the galactic stage, it is literally 'all eyes on her,' to resort to a worn down human cliché."

"You expect me to betray her," Josh tried not to sound surprised, he knew that with Shepard's promotion anyone who volunteered to help her would be under constant fire.

"On the contrary," the man drank a bit of his liquor again, "I expect you to do everything in your power to make sure she succeeds. However, I am troubled slightly by the overwhelming Council influence that she may encounter during her mission. This is humanity's chance to play a larger role in the galactic community, we need Shepard to succeed... We cannot however, let her fall into the perspectives of other species, she must remember the Alliance and humanity's interests, and we must make sure she keeps that in mind."

"So you want me to spy on her?" Josh was slowly putting two and two together in his mind. He had a few options for organization that would go though such great lengths to get to one woman. He had two hypothesis, and one of them was falling off quicker and quicker, Terra Firma didn't have the resources or the man power to pull such operations off as well as include such technologies, besides, their leader was a well known, though not as respected, public figure. That left only one option.

"Standard reconnaissance," the man corrected, "simply report back after any advancements on what has taken place, that is all we ask. In return we will generally donate a substantial sum of credits to a specified account, starting with a significant 'down payment.'"

"Why me?" Josh tried to stall with a simple question while trying to figure some things out in side his mind.

"You have known Shepard for a duration of time," the man reasoned, "from before her extensive service in the Alliance, well almost from before. She trusts you and you're no longer Alliance, which makes you more approachable than Ashley Williams or Kaidan Alenko. Any of the frigate crew will not have access to some of the mission information and the remainder of the battle squad do not meet our operative criteria."

"What is stopping me from simply going and telling Shepard of what has happened here?" Josh gained strength and confidence, trying to reverse the tables.

"You must understand Mr Dri," the man finished his cigarette and started on his drink again, "me asking is simply a courtesy, as well as offering you a diplomatic compensation. We could have simply mentioned her sister, and her business clients, many of whom are our business subsidiaries. Or her daughter, your niece. Finally, there is a friend you left on Eden Prime, she is attempting to resettle, start her life anew, she deserves that peace at the very least, doesn't she?"

Josh studied the man for a little longer. He felt anger boiling inside him but his awareness was back, he didn't show his frustration. Of course he knew that this organization knew about his family, and his past, after all, they knew Shepard was a Spectre and that kind of information was not broadcasted around to the public, not to mention heavily classified. This organization had resources and capabilities to reach their goals. Josh stared the man in the eyes for the first time, drawing contact with the two bright blue orbs and asked his next question, "if I am to perform the tasks you ask, I must remain in Shepard's trusted list, perform any duty she asks of me."

"We wouldn't have it any other way," the man admitted, "we simply want you to monitor her progress, for humanity."

"Fair enough," Josh nodded, "however, she is an Alliance operative, we may go on small tangent missions while close to a few Alliance operative locations, we may encounter Cerberus mercenaries. To keep Shepard's trust I would have to follow her orders..."

Josh waited as the man lit another cigarette and inhaled it deeply. If there was any concern, he didn't show it. Josh waited patiently for the man to give away at least a slightly clue as to whether or not he was close with his guess. If he was right however, the individual in front of him made his life on information resources, he would know how to carry himself.

"I would expect you to act as instructed," the man said calmly, "we always have the resources to hire new operatives." The man paused, studying Josh's reaction before moving on, "I have no desire to hide who I represent Mr Dri. Now... If we are agreed, Miranda will supply you with the rest of the information you need to know."

Without waiting for Josh to respond the connection shut off, leaving Josh alone in the dark room. He rubbed the back of his neck and turned around to go back to the room he woke up in. The room itself was locked. Josh tried a few different doors, the fourth one he tried slid open. It looked like a casual living room, a few couches, a small coffee table. Laying neatly on the coffee table were his weapons as well as a small datapad. Miranda was sitting gracefully on one of the couches.

"The datapad contains the information of an independent bank account," she said, bringing a glass of wine in her hand gently to her lips, "you may transfer the credits wherever you wish. I've also taken the liberty of upgrade your weapons for higher damage and capacity. Lastly," she took another sip of wine, "while you were 'asleep' the first time, the Illusive Man asked me to install a new amplifier for you. It is built in, meaning we had to attach it straight to your nervous cortex, something that is difficult to do in such limited time. Normally subjects need a few weeks to adjust, get used to the new gain abilities, with you, we had no such time. I would suggest practicing your biotics somewhere solitary until you phase the side effects out, those could be quite... unpleasant."

"How is it working for the Illusive Man?" Josh asked, overstepping most of the boundaries. Just as the last words escaped his mouth he felt a sharp pain at the back of his skull, this time the sedation process was much more basic. As he fell down he could see Miranda's shoes rattle off the floor as she walked up to him, then, everything went black for the second time that day.

MExMExMExME

Josh's head was still ringing when he opened his eyes. The focus came back faster than before, probably because no chemicals were involved this time. If it wasn't for the sharp pain in his skull Josh would assume that all of that was just a bad dream. He sat up on his bed rubbing the back of his neck. Being knocked out was not pleasant, being knocked out three times within a week, - even less so.

Josh studied the two datapads by his bed, on the bedside table. One of them was the bank account information into the which the money would be deposited. The account itself already signified that a large sum of credits was in there, a 'down payment' the Illusive Man called it. The other datapad contained an inscription program. Josh read the instructions carefully. The program itself was designed to piggy back encrypted emails onto regular ways, and mask the fact that they were every saved. That meant that if he was to ever send an email to Kamilah or Sarah he would do so along with the report to Cerberus.

Josh didn't like the idea of working for a terrorist organization himself; however it seemed he had very little choice in the matter. Knowing the resources Cerberus had and their capabilities there was little choice in the matter, the Illusive Man even went as far as to name drop the most important people in his life. However, even if he was forced to do this, it was nice to make some kind of profit. This world worked in mysterious ways.

Josh thought of something else when he faced the inescapable nature of his 'assignment,' something to exploit his position. From his time outside of the civilized society he has learned many things. One of them was that a successful individual always had to adopt to his circumstances, often overstep his or her morals in order to make the best of any situation. This was one of those times. Working for Cerberus was not a sunny prospect, however, the pay itself was a benefit, as well as access to certain information, Josh wanted to use that.

Josh checked his watch, there was still some time to make a quick detour before getting to the space port and meeting Shepard with the rest of her crew. Before heading out though he wanted to check his biotics. Spotting a small bed-side watch Josh quickly threw up his arm, sending a biotic lift. The watch obeyed, the command itself came easier, faster, less strenuous on the brain. It was different from before, Josh found himself impressed by Miranda's 'upgrade.'

As he put the clock down softly, a sharp, drilling pain exploded inside his brain, as if someone left a bomb there and set it off. Josh's ears went ringing and his vision blurred. After a few seconds he found hilself kneeling on the floor, one hand resting on the side of the bed for support. His lungs were processing air rapidly, sweat spots emerged on Josh's forehead.

_Unpleasant my ass_, Josh thought to himself remembering Miranda's last words before he got knocked out. He took a few more seconds to recover before gathering all of his things back into a duffle bag, shotgun included. The pistol was once again left to remain in the holster by his chest, even on the Citadel one could run into a significant amount of trouble, it was beneficial to always be prepared.

After paying the hotel owners Josh went out into the presidium. He could have probably take the CRTS to the spaceport, or walked directly through the wards, but he wanted fresh air. Just as the elevator opened he lit his cigarette, after a long night he figured it was well deserved. Despite the late hours, the presidium was still busy, just like the wards. It seemed the Citadel never slept, too much was going on all at once, both business and pleasure were attended too. Luckily for Josh, Barla Von's shop was not too far from his current location.

He sped up, brushing past most of the people around him. Josh imagined he looked fairly weird to bystanders. A man dressed too casually for the presidium and carrying a duffle bag. They must have thought he was mad. Whatever it was they chose to keep their distance which suited Josh just fine. As he walked up to Barla Von's establishment, Josh was relieved to see it open.

"This is quite an early visit," the volus greeted him almost immediately, "to what do I owe the honour?"

"I have a business proposition for the Shadow Broker," Josh said calmly, controlling his voice. If he let the volus detect anything he would be at a disadvantage, "I am sure he would be quite interested."

"A business proposition then?" the volus sounded amused, "what does it pertain to, if I may ask."

"The fact that Spectre's have a human among their ranks now would be old news to the Shadow Broker I imagine," Josh waited for Barla Von to nod before moving on. "However, any other information on that Spectre's movements and actions would probably be heavily restricted, nearly inaccessible considering the nature of the individual in question. Any discoveries made of useful nature would never leak beyond the immediate entourage I may imagine."

"Do you propose to spy on your own Commander?" Barla Von didn't seem to bite just yet.

"I'd call it informational reconnaissance," Josh corrected. He knew that any movement was about to give him away, and if he planned to use Cerberus to counter the Shadow Broker and vice versa, his intent had to seem genuine. "I figure there may be some information that is beyond public knowledge in Saren's possession, it may even be beyond Shadow Brokers. The person tasked with bringing Saren down would most certainly come across that information."

Barla Von paused for a second. His left hand rose up to scratch something at the bottom of his mask. The silence of the room was routinely interrupted every few seconds with the workings of the volus' breathing apparatus. By the way the speed increased Josh assumed that he had somewhat sold the act, the question was no in the response itself.

"What would you expect in return?" the volus finally spoke.

"Just a small favour," Josh smiled, he attempted to make it look slightly sinister, though the volus didn't give any indication whether or not he pulled it off. "I know your financial capabilities, and I happen to have a bank account into which money will be delivered on consistent bases, that money needs to be... redistributed. It needs to be in a different account, one I can easily access, and the initial owner of the account cannot know about his money's final destination."

"That could be arranged," the volus nodded, "although it is all too simple. Are you sure there is nothing else."

"There is," Josh agreed, "I understand the Shadow Broker's knowledge is extensive. He is a major player on both the information and the financial markets. I simply ask that between the two accounts the credits discussed in the previous request be turned around through the Shadow Broker's channels. I know with that it can easily triple the amount or even more."

"That also can be arranged as long as the small amount of the income made through such... investments remains with the Shadow Broker."

"We have a deal then?" Josh tried not to jump the gun to fast.

"We do indeed Mr Dri," The volus agreed, stretching his arm forward, "and do not worry, Cerberus will not be able to track the money they are paying you."

Josh looked the volus into the eye, at least he imagined so looking at the masked Barla Von, staring where the eyes would be under the suit. Of course he would know about the Cerberus account, but there is a doubt he would know how Josh found out about it. Josh remained calm, not giving anything away, anything more than necessary at least. He extended his own arm and shook the volus'. Everything went down smoothly.

Satisfied with himself Josh headed to the exit, he needed to find the closest CRTS terminal and go to the space port, it was nearly the time for departure. He didn't know how well his performance worked with Barla Von, but he could only hope. Josh knew that the volus would know about the origin of the account, but he could only speculate as to whether Barla Von would be aware of Cerberus' earlier requests of Josh. From the looks of it, the Shadow Broker wasn't that well informed, at least on the particular subject. As he made it to the terminal Josh contemplated his further actions. He was caught between a rock and a hard place. He would perform what Cerberus asked, delivering the same information to the Shadow Broker as well as long as it didn't interfere with Shepard's mission. The moment it did Josh would have to take his chances against the two most established boogeymen of the corporate and political world – the Illusive Man and the Shadow Broker.

MExMExMExME

The rapid transit ride to the docks was swift. All thorough Josh was staring out of the window, studying the Citadel in all its glory. Most inhabitants used rapid transit system, tired of constant fascination of the view. Josh found himself wishing he could walk to the dock and not be late, he wanted to enjoy the view at least once more. I guess that was difference between visitors and those who lived on the Citadel. Some took this for granted, others appreciated every little moment.

Josh assigned himself to the latter category, and not simply because he didn't live on the Citadel. After he left the Alliance Josh quick fell on bad luck. He didn't look for a job, travelled the planets, searching for something, not knowing what it was. He was robbed twice, nearly died once, probably would have if it wasn't for his military training, and all that was just in the first month. Josh learned to adjust, to measure the surrounds, he came up with a plan.

The Traverse had an intricate information web maintained by people like the Shadow Broker, nothing that moved ever went unnoticed, especially something like the events on Elysium. So Josh hunted, hunted for information, hunted for hired guns, anyone and anything that had to do with the Blitz. He abandoned the Alliance installed perceptions of the world, of the black and white clearly defined for the world to see, Josh operated in the shades of grey. The hunt took him to many places, none exotic. The people he hunted were scum and their environments represented them. Dirty warehouses, run down hotels and bars, underground cities, he saw it all in the last nine years. The sight of the Citadel was miraculous to him now.

When Josh got off the shuttle the whole party was already there. Most of them were waiting somewhere close to the station while Shepard was up ahead arguing about something with Ambassador Udina and Captain Anderson. Ashley walked up to him first, she had a sour look on her face, not used to hiding her feelings about the situation.

"What's going on?" Josh asked, throwing his bag over his shoulder.

"They're giving Shepard control of the Normandy," Kaidan answered, "it is her ship now."

"Yeah," Ashley sounded grumpy, "but that means they are grounding Captain Anderson. He is one of the most accomplished Alliance soldiers, they cannot treat him like that!"

"The Normandy?" Josh wanted to double-check.

"Yeah," Kaidan confirmed, "they think it is the only ship that would be able to track Saren relatively unnoticed, and because of the experimental technology we might have the upper hand when it comes time to engage."

"The ship's readings are off the charts," Tali was reading something off her omni-tool, "this is incredible. If the outside scan is right this is one of the most advanced vessels in Citadel Space."

"And our perfect chance to gain a small advantage over Saren," Wrex added before looking at Ashley accusingly. "I do not understand you humans, you stare death in the face yet you do not hesitate to gripe about something that may improve your chances of survival because of petty professional courtesies."

"It's better to have some courtesies, than none at all," Ashley shot right back.

Wrex chose not to respond, he simply went back to double checking all of his weapons. The mercenary was armed to the teeth, enough weapons to wipe out a small colony himself if need be. Along with the shotgun and his pistol Wrex had a number of grenades clipped around his armour and a heavy cannon on his back. The krogan did not take the situation lightly, that much was evident, he was ready for any battle that may come ahead.

"Captain Anderson deserves better," Ashley didn't give up her position, "they are treating him unfairly."

"Welcome to the Alliance," Josh answered dropping his back besides Wrex and tapping the krogan on the back in a friendly gesture. "If the Normandy gives us better odds against Saren, I say we are not in the position to turn it down. We don't even know what we're going after."

"He is right," Garrus interjected, "because of his Spectre status Saren had unlimited privileges, no one knows what he may have prepared for us, what... what's that lovely human expression... what may be up his sleeve when we come for him. This vessel tips the scales slightly in our favour."

Everyone seemed to agree and nod, Gunnery Chief Williams remained the only one with the sour expression. Josh could see that she was displeased, but hoped for her sake that Ashley would find a way to hide how she felt. Shepard was a Spectre now, on the hunt for one of the most dangerous operatives in the galaxy. It wouldn't surprise anyone if Stephanie had to break some of the Alliance as well as Council protocols, play outside of the official sandbox. If Ash threw a temper tantrum every time something rubbed her marine pride the wrong way it could cause problems for the crew as well as for Stephanie's focus on the mission. Shepard hated when those under her command were disconnected from the rest, she took it personally.

The conversation on the other end was finished, and Shepard slowly made her way towards the crew. There was a dissatisfied expression on her face, she obviously didn't like Captain Anderson's grounding as much as Ashley. When she was right in front of her squad however, Steph's face evened out, became "Alliance protocol stern." She looked at every one of her companions, contemplating something in her mind.

"We have the Normandy," she spoke, her voice strong, unshaken, "the best ship in the Traverse. Fast, silent, staffed with only the best the Alliance has to offer. It is our base of operations and one of our main weapons against Saren, our slight chance at the upper hand. I do not like the way this turned out for Captain Anderson, and assume some of you feel the same," Stephanie was looking solely at Ashley as she spoke that last part, "however he has given up his control of the ship for our mission, he trusts us to see it out to the end and to make his resignation from the Normandy a wasteful one. I expect the same."

The speech was done and everyone grabbed their things and headed towards the Normandy. Shepard hung back to watch as everyone moved towards the ship. Josh hung back within her, levelling shoulder to shoulder once everyone else was gone.

"Nice speech," he smiled, "ever considered being a politician?"

"Came up once," Shepard chuckled, "figured I'd be better shooting people than making pointless treaties and telling others who to shoot."

"They're not Alliance you know," Josh spoke a little more seriously now, "well Williams and Alenko are, but the rest are not. They do not operate to your protocols and rules. Unlike everyone else you'll have to earn their respect."

"And what about yours?" Shepard said as they started walking towards the ship.

"That you already have," Josh admitted, "after the Blitz. You're alright Commander, you're alright."

"Good to hear," she answered, Josh couldn't figure out if the next part was sarcastic or genuine, "because guess who is second in charge of the ground teams and my official liaison with the non-Alliance personnel on the mission."

Josh studied Shepard's face for any sign of emotion, she gave none. She seemed to not have lost all hope in him when he left, remembering what was done on the Blitz. In a way that made him feel guilty about his encounter with the Illusive Man, as well as the deal with the Shadow Broker that followed. At the last moment before they entered the Normandy Josh caught the side of Stephanie's lips perk upwards, curve in a neat little smile. It reminded him of the one Miranda gave him before they left the bar, except this one did not have the same sinister intent behind it, Josh hoped. He felt grateful that he still had friends, even if there were only two of them left. One so far and distant trying to start a new life yet again, and another, right here, beside him, ready to offer a helping hand and a smile when needed.

Josh found himself smiling as they entered the Normandy.

**Okay, this one is a little bit shorter than the other chapters, before it, but that is mostly because they are going after Liara next, and that has to be quite a long chapter, given Josh's previous encounters with asari and especially Matriarch Benezia. I already have the layout for the chapter ready, the real question is writing it. Should be done by the end of the week though if not earlier. Still contemplating if I want to discuss the side missions (read: side quests) in depth. Thanks for reading and reviews. For those who enjoy this there is definitely more coming.**


	20. Chapter 19: Uncertain Beginnings

**Disclaimer: Obviously all of the game characters, places etc. are creative property of BioWare.**

**Also I am kind of aware that I may be dragging out the battle scenes a little too much feel free to offer constructive criticism on that.**

**Also, I know some of the Liara dialogue only happens when you find her later in the game (after Noveria and Feros not before), but I think it breaks down the action slightly better as a small interjection so yeah...**

**GTA Manic:**** Yeah, I feel like I shouldn't drag out the side quests too much, so I'm thinking of doing the personal ones or even creating original ones to break up the story considering how cut and paste most ME1 side quests were. As for the Mako, yeah, it was terrible to write, I do not think I will go into that much detail or even included it further down the road. As for Cerberus securing their investment there is a little bit planned for the next chapter but I don't want to spoil much. **

**P.P.S. I will kind of unravel that as Josh develops his biotic powers further, remember he didn't have continues military use or training over the past years, surviving on whatever he was used to.**

**Tal'eath: thanks a lot. Yeah, it could be a bit of a stretch to read considering I do enjoy writing extensive chapters. As for the spelling mistakes, I slowly try to phase that out, but because of the size of each chapter it gets more difficult to proof read so I often miss the smaller details. Thanks for reading, hopefully you will enjoy what's to come just as much.**

**Chapter 19**

**Uncertain Beginnings**

_He who rejects change is the architect of decay. The only human institution which rejects progress is the cemetery._

_Harold Wilson_

_Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother._

_Kahlil Gibran_

Josh sat in the XO's cabin, currently assigned to him, staring out of the illuminator. He never used to like looking into open space when traveling. It often brought discomfort and fear, the realization that beyond this ship there is vacuum, there is no life to be possible, the fragility of human existence, especially of those flying through open space.

During his travels however Josh's opinion's changed. He cherished the times he got to look out, to feel the freedom of the world beyond. He was usually stuck on small, rusty ships that transported anyone and anything for a small amount of credits. People and equipment were packed in to the limit, not allowing everyone space. During those moments Josh wished to experience the world beyond the ship, even by sight. There was something calming about the stars and open space. Even when he was alone he found companionship in that view.

The placement on the Normandy didn't turn out to be as big a problem as he expected it to be. Most of the crew remained the same as under Captain Anderson and they had their own bunks assigned already, including Kaidan. Ashley herself preferred to bunk with everyone else refusing Shepard's offer for a private space. Wrex opted out to stay in the bottom of the ship around the MAKO and the weapon's lockers, claiming it was the most peaceful spot. Tali preferred the company of engineers and Garrus, having no specific preference received the civilian placement private room, installed on the Normandy for cases of transporting important military or political personnel. Commander Shepard had of course moved into the Captain's cabin.

Josh counted himself lucky, if it wasn't for Navigator Presley's desire to stay where he currently was, citing moving his stuff more of a hassle than anything, Josh may have been along with everyone else. As it was, he enjoyed full privacy as well as a slightly better equipped room. The Normandy remained an Alliance vessel however, so luxury was out of the question. Still, Josh would take comfort where he could.

After tearing his gaze away from the illuminator Josh looked at the small clock by his bed. He remembered the last time he used biotic abilities, the pain that came. Biotics would most definitely be needed during full scale combat so there was incentive to get over the adjustment process Miranda warned him about. With a quick movement, Josh's hand shot forward, sending a biotic push charge towards the clock. The small mechanical contraption fell over.

Just as the push left his arms Josh felt blinding pain in his temples, an almost crippling sensation. It toppled him to the floor within a second, vision blurred, muscles unresponsive. He tried to use another biotic ability in succession, but his mind drew blanks, he couldn't even articulate to himself what he wanted to do. After a few moments the pain subsided, leaving Josh crumbled on the floor beside his bed. He needed to regain his abilities soon, preferably before the first ground operation.

"Ground team," the P.A. system's sound rang in his ears, although Josh wasn't sure if it was the system itself or just Joker's voice, "report to the briefing room."

Without any more time to recover Josh gathered himself up, which took a lot of effort and headed out the door. The briefing room was on the main deck, right above where the majority of the sleeping quarters were. He bumped into a few of the Normandy's staff, rushing to get to their positions on his way. As he got to the comm room Josh noticed that he was the last one there. Everyone was seated while Shepard stood in the middle, a small galaxy map open in front of her. It displayed the particulars of three planets.

"Now that everyone is here," Stephanie looked squarely at Josh, "we can begin. The Council had advised of a recent geth citing on Feros, as well as Saren's business interests on Noveria. They suggest either place is a good option to start our search."

Everyone studied the planets on the display intently. Josh tried to think what he knew about either planet from his own travel time. Feros he has never heard off, but Noveria was a corporate center. It established its own rules and for the most part escaped Council authority. Even for a Spectre it would be difficult to operate. Noveria was ruled mostly by commercial interests, those with stock in companies established there wielding the most power. It could be a corporate safe haven.

"I suggest a third option," Shepard once again regained the attention of everyone in the room. "Thanks to Tali's aid, we have discovered that Saren is not working alone. He is aided by a powerful asari matriarch."

_Asari_, Josh felt his stomach turning inside out, _fuck!_

"Matriarch Benezia," Shepard went on, making Josh even more uncomfortable, this was just getting worse and worse. "Matriarch Benezia has a daughter, I believe it would beneficial to our mission to enlist her daughter in our search."

"That could be dangerous," Kaidan propose, "after all, we do not know what kind of relationship they have. What if she refuses to help us and warns her mother."

"If that is the case we could hold her hostage," Wrex suggested, "make Benezia come after us instead of the other way around."

"Either option is not certain," Shepard silenced everyone out, "but I think it would be of great benefit to the mission if we rescued Benezia's daughter – Dr. Liara T'soni first. Who knows what kind of information she may have about her mother, and potentially Saren."

Everyone went silent, probably thinking over the potential flaws in the plan. Josh himself thought that this was a risky endeavour. There was no telling what kind of relationship was between Benezia and her daughter, they ran a risk of walking into a trap. However, if the council also mentioned this fact to Shepard it was worth checking out. It would also be a good idea to bring up his own involvement with Benezia, there was very little of value to the current operation, but Josh realized that Shepard needed to know those facts regardless.

"It's decided then," Shepard took silence as a sign of agreement before pressing down the communicator button, "Joker, set a course for the Knossos system, Therum to be specific."

"Aye aye Capt.... Commander," came a response from the other side.

"Dismissed," Shepard did not look slightly thrown off by the pilot's remark.

As everyone left the briefing room Josh stuck around, waiting to remain one on one with Shepard. He had to tell her about Benezia before the mission proceeded.

"Anything you need?" Shepard didn't turn around from studying the mini-map, but she felt as Josh approached and levelled with her.

"This asari," Josh felt words trying to stay in his mouth, forcing each out, "I've encountered her before. Not much I can say about here, but I just thought you should know. If it ever comes up. She was working with the Alliance then."

"I know," Shepard stretched her arm and put it between his shoulder blades in a calming gesture, "I've pulled all her records available to the council, that one came up. I don't see how you would be able to have any impression of what she is capable off," she paused for a second, "but if you do recollect any detail before we encounter her, I'd appreciate knowing about it."

"Sure thing," Josh nodded, standing still. The warmth from Stephanie's hand spread through his back. He felt her touch, it was soothing and comforting. Even the Commander's presence felt reassuring. Shepard indeed possessed the qualities of an exceptional Commander, able to evoke those feelings just with her presence. At least Josh hoped that's what that was. "I'll go get ready for the mission."

"No hurry," Shepard nodded, letting him go nevertheless, "we're at least a six hours away after we hit the relay."

Josh nodded, heading out of the briefing room. He didn't feel like going back to his room, he spent enough of the past nine years in solitude, it was time to get re-accustomed to company of other beings. Silence could be a great friend, but sometimes it could also pose as a terrible adversary, haunting every single bit off someone's being.

Josh headed to the elevators which took him down to the lowest level of the Normandy. If nothing else he expected to practice his biotics before the mission. No such luck happened. Everyone seemed to congregate downstairs, except for Kaidan.

Ashley was by the work bench sorting through her guns. There was a very focused look in her eyes. It seemed she finally got the action she desired for, a mission to prove herself, and she was focused on it and nothing more. It didn't feel right to disturb her. Garrus was sorting a few things around the MAKO, probably double checking its readiness for the mission in case they needed on site transportation. The only one who didn't look busy was Wrex, standing casually beside the weapon lockers.

"Finally," Wrex spoke when he saw Josh approach, "we may be seeing some action soon. A great thought after dealing with layers of bureaucracy."

"Anxious are we?" Josh joked lightly.

"Everyone finds their enjoyment in life," Wrex reasoned in his usual deep baritone, "some people enjoy the moments of peace and quiet, solitude, their own company." Wrex seemed to chuckle, "but anyone is only truly alive when its existence is threatened, you feel it, it's in every bone of your body then, you value every second of it, and you truly live. You simply exist for the rest of it."

"Some people would disagree with you," Josh answered calmly.

"Some people are fools," Wrex retorted in a calm manner, although how he made anything sound calm with that voice of his remained a mystery.

Josh smiled at Wrex, the krogan nodded his head, signifying the conversation was over. They would have to catch up some other time. Josh enjoyed the mercenary's company, especially during their first encounter. He saw reason in the krogan way of life, saw it for what it was, why it was that way. Outside of Shepard and Kamilah, Wrex would be the only other creature in the whole universe Josh would even consider being his friend. He wondered if krogan had such a word for anyone beyond their own species.

"Hey," his thought process was interrupted by Ashley approaching, she wiped a bit of sweat from her forehead as they came level. "I wanted to apologize for the other night. I am not usually like that. I guess it's just the stress. I still haven't coped with Eden Prime fully."

"It's no problem," Josh gave her a friendly smile, "I understand."

"Look," Ashley didn't seem to be very good at resigning her opinions, no matter the intent, "I am sorry I snapped at you like that. It was uncalled for. I am sure you had your reasons for leaving the Alliance, I am in no position to judge."

Josh nodded in an approving gesture. He didn't really feel angry at that. He knew Ashley didn't understand his reasoning, what guided him, he didn't expect her too. She judged him as well, with her character that couldn't be helped and Josh was fine with that as well. He knew how she felt and that was easier than catching glances filled with disrespect in the back. Satisfied with the conversation Ashley herself headed back to her station. One day they would have to have a talk longer than 2 minutes Josh promised himself.

It was still quite some time until Therum and it didn't seem like anyone else wanted to socialize at the moment, a shame. Josh looked for a small room in the corner of the storage area, protected by a few boxes. Without attempting to start any more conversations he crawled into his little layer. Settling down on the floor, sitting cross legged with his back against the wall Josh threw his Zippo in front of him. Quickly his hand went up, producing a biotic lift over the lighter.

For most of his life Josh assumed that side effects of recovery usually got better with time, the pain he experienced a moment after lifting his lighter completely crossed out that theory. He clenched his teeth just not to scream, not to attract any more attention from those around. No one needed to know what happened to him, and his increased reaction to biotics would just bring about more questions. Josh panted, he tried to control his mind which zoned at the first sign of pain. It was harder in practice than in theory.

After a few minutes he decided to try something again. Instead of attacking the Zippo he brought up a barrier around himself. For seconds he was staring at the blue biotic glow covering his body like an extra layer of armour. That didn't last long as Josh found himself staring at nothing at all, clenching his eyes in attempts to drown out the pain. This wasn't helping at all, just made it worse, his body more exhausted from the pain, but there was no choice. If Shepard called on him for the mission he needed to be operational.

Josh decided it was best to train his biotics one burst at a time with five minute intervals. He had six hours, that was a lot of mind shattering pain to experience in a short time.

MExMExMExME

"Approaching Therum," Joker's voice rang through the P.A. system, snapping Josh out of a small amount of pain, "ETA – nineteen minutes."

Josh stood up, cracking his neck and stretching his fingers. The session was a success. Biotic use no longer produced blinding pain. It was still accompanied with some headaches and disorientation, but they were momentary, four seconds at best. Still, it was better than nothing, he would just have to use biotics from behind cover.

"Ground team report to the briefing room," Shepard didn't make the crew wait for too long after Joker.

Josh crawled out of his hole to see Wrex, Ashley, Garrus, and Tali climbing into the elevator and the door closing behind them. He would have to wait for the next one. He felt as if the crew was still disconnected, gathered from various corners for a specific mission. Shepard still had some work in front of her if she expected them to operate as a cohesive unit.

"Fell behind," came from behind. Josh turned around to face Kaidan.

"Yeah," Josh admitted, "was reading, fell asleep."

"Didn't want to use your own cabin?" Kaidan leaned in suspiciously.

"Too quiet," Josh brushed the suspicion off, "after the last couple of years I had its unsettling."

"I can understand," Kaidan nodded, stepping into the newly arrived elevator, Josh followed. "What is the history with you and the Commander?"

"Is this off the record Lieutenant?" Josh didn't feel it was appropriate to refer to Kaidan by name in this conversation, the 2nd Lieutenant made it sound too official.

"Just curious," Kaidan shrugged stepping out of the elevator.

"Strictly professional," Josh said with a stern face, "don't worry Lieutenant."

"I didn't imply what you are now," Kaidan sounded a little bit unsettled, "simply wanted to know why she speaks so highly off you... and your involvement during the Blitz."

_Sure you did,_ Josh thought to himself, but he didn't want to say that out loud. The most he could manage was a smile and a resigned understatement. "Steph is a very close friend."

Kaidan nodded and didn't say another word. The two approached the briefing room. Josh stepped aside and let Kaidan walk through first. The L2 biotic didn't seem to catch the little jest he just became a victim off. Josh followed after him, both taking their respected seats.

"Okay," Shepard said sternly once everyone stopped moving in their seats, "this is our first organized mission together. The assignment is simply, locate Dr. Liara T'Soni, considering the circumstances either allow participation in the mission or consider a strategic hostage. Everyone understands?"

No one responded but simply nodded. The mission wasn't too hard. If the information was right the only thing they would find on Therum would be a prothean dig site, nothing more. No hostile presence, and if there was no heavy resistance was expected.

"Commander," Joker's concerned voice rang through the comm unit. "We're picking up some readings, switching into stealth."

"What is it Joker," Shepard leaned onto the comm unit, everyone else leaned closer to listen in.

"It's geth Commander," Joker said, "an armed outpost, possibility of AA Guns at the site."

"Okay," Shepard brought her hand to her chin, contemplating the changing situation, turning to the rest of the squad. "Change of plans, a group of four, MAKO's maximum capacity will deploy a few clicks away from the LZ, clear the assumed geth encampment and clear space for the Normandy. They will enter the ruins while the rest will provide ground cover if needed. Joker," she pressed the comm unit button again, "scout a good MAKO drop zone not too far from the geth fortification, we're going to get a drop there."

"Aye aye Commander," Joker seemed satisfied enough with the decision.

"Okay," Shepard stood straight, "Josh, Wrex, Williams, suit up. The rest will be the cover crew, Lieutenant Alenko," Stephanie looked at Kaidan, "you're in charge of the second squad. If ground cover is not needed remain on the Normandy, we may require a quick lift off."

Kaidan nodded and everyone else dispersed without further words from the Commander. Josh turned around at the door to notice Shepard leaning over the railing surrounding the briefing platform. She looked focused as she studied the readings Joker provided. Without further hesitation he headed to his room to get prepared. As Josh reached his door Kaidan Alenko caught up to him.

"Hey," Kaidan put his hand on Josh's shoulder, swinging him around lightly, "I would appreciate it if our earlier discussion remained between the two off us."

"My lips are sealed," Josh motioned the sip down motion over his mouth, "don't worry Lieutenant."

"Call me Kaidan," Alenko seemed to force a small smile and turned around to go to his station and get prepared himself. Josh watched the man walk away without another word. After Kaidan disappeared from view he himself turned around and walked into his room.

It didn't take Josh a lot of time to prepare, there wasn't much he needed. Quickly he slid into his clothes, after putting on the bottom protective layer. The synthetic material underneath his main clothes was designed to protect the body from both rapid temperature changes as well as a few piercing shots. Josh rarely bothered wearing full scale armour as it impeded his movement too much and restricted his biotic use. The protective layer designed by the asari to allow their commandoes to move seamlessly in any environment was more than enough. Another present from the Illusive Man.

Josh quickly strapped his shotgun behind him and his pistol at the hip. He decided that a few grenades would do nicely, opting to use his own stock today rather than then reaching into the Normandy's supplies. Within minutes he was ready, walking out of his room and making his way towards the elevator.

When he walked out in cargo hold, most of the ground team was ready, double checking their weapons one last time and making sure all the seals in their armour were covered properly. Josh felt a little bit under dressed seeing everyone in their metallic covers.

"You look ready," Ashley sized him up the moment he walked up, "going for a light walk before we deploy?"

Josh didn't say a word but simply rolled up one of his sleeves to reveal the protective covering. The only thing he would need if the atmosphere or external pressure was too much would be a helmet. As things stood however the Therum readings didn't warrant such measures. The temperature was slightly above normal but nothing the asari suit wouldn't be able to handle. It was designed to adopt the body to the changing environment, affecting it directly through skin cells and nerve extensions rather than simply offering protection of metal. The flexible but hard weave also served as sufficient armour, at least as long as the user had the presence of mind to stick to cover in tactical situations.

"Nice pyjamas," Wrex grumbled in the background, "we'll see how they will serve you."

Josh turned and gave to krogan a sarcastic smile, to which the mercenary simply cocked his shotgun as a display of power then smiled back. Josh was getting much better at reading Wrex, and before their first encounter he didn't even believe that the krogan anatomy would allow them to stretch their mouth even to present the faintest of smiles.

"ETA 2 minutes," Joker's voice sounded through the P.A.

"Lady and gentlemen," Shepard spoke, "meet the M35 Mako, it is a bitch to navigate on terrain, which is exactly what we are to do today." Everyone chuckled as Shepard went on, "I will control the actual driving of this tin can. Wrex and Ash, you're on machine gun turrets duty. Josh, you handle the mass accelerator cannon."

"ETA 1 minute Commander," Joker reappeared, sounding as if he was somewhere in the walls of the ship, "Mako shields are charged and ready."

"You heard the man," Shepard followed popping the door to the vehicle, "let's go."

The inside of the Mako was as uncomfortable as Josh expected it to be. The space was crowed and it was initially designed for no more than two operatives, but some genius, as there always was one, decided to split up control between most weapons. What made the situation even worth is that the Mako was designed mainly for Alliance personnel, humans of average stature, which Wrex most certainly was not. The krogan didn't stomp grumbling even after he was 'comfortably' in position. This was going to be a very long ride.

"Launching the Mako in," Joker started the countdown as Josh could hear the cargo hold ramp lowering, "three, two, one, GO!"

Josh felt a slight sensation as Shepard jammed her foot into the gas pedal simultaneously working the thrusters. The initial experience was that of being in a falling elevator or on a roller coaster. All the sense feeling went into Josh's feet, he felt the height of the vehicle decrease rapidly. Shepard activated the thrusters, making the Mako balance more in the air and making for a soft landing. The Mako landed on rugged terrain, Josh felt the wheels make contact and the feeble hydraulics system didn't prevent from his spinal cord having a similar experience.

"We've touched down Joker," Shepard fed the updated through the communication station, before speaking directly to the Mako crew, "radar readings clear."

The Commander shifted into gear and moved the Mako forward. It was clear right away that the vehicle design was not clearly thought out and put into action, the Mako handled as something put together at the last minute with the realization that Alliance may have need to cover great distances. Every slight edge of the road, every rock the Mako drove over was felt by everyone inside the cabin. Wrex's giant frame kept swinging back and forth, bumping into Ashley constantly.

"This is why I prefer traveling on foot," Wrex finally broke down about the situation.

"Amen to that," Ashley spouted of the top of her head. Josh looked at her in new light, he never realized that Chief could have even a bit of religiosity to her.

"If we were," Shepard interrupted, stern as ever, "we wouldn't have the means to deal with those geth armatures up ahead. Machine gun, fire!"

Wrex and Ashley quickly became aware of the situation, turning to their stations with complete disregard for the discomfort. Machine gun rounds pierced into the geth machines up ahead. Josh didn't fire the cannon, he was taking close aim yet he knew the Mako's real limitation, it could only fire on the same plane, and they were not level with the armatures.

"Level me," he spoke to Shepard zeroing in on one of the armatures.

Shepard nodded, pressing one of the buttons beside her controls. The thrusters gave out a force lifting the Mako up in the air. Josh timed every second, counting in his head, as soon as the cannon was in level with the anti-vehicle geth he fired. The blast rang in everyone's ears as it left the cannon. He could trace the light travelling towards the armature, toppling where it stood.

"One down," he spoke in a casual tone.

Wrex and Ashley focused all of their fire on the second enemy. The armature has turned fully, firing its own weapons at the Mako.

"It's charging something," Ashley said quickly, seeing a blue light at the tip of the enemy's cannon.

"I can see that Ash," Shepard said in a tone most would consider a little stern. Josh knew Shepard better than most, he knew the Commander needed her conversation. He just hoped Ashley wouldn't take the comment to heart.

The armature fired, and they all could see the blue light closing in. Josh felt the cannon trigger jump into his finger, signifying that it was ready for another shot. Shepard timed everything perfect, hitting the thrusters just as the enemy shot was about to hit, lifting the Mako right above it. Josh felt his finger itch on the trigger, pressing down as soon as the Mako touched down, they were perfectly level. The flaming shot left the oversized barrel and burrowed into the armature, bringing the second enemy down.

"All clear," Josh acknowledged the hit.

"Let's not do that again," Wrex grumbled in his usual tone.

"Let's hope," Shepard lightened out for a second.

The rest of the way they travelled without any more issues. Therum was an Alliance world, and most research showed that it was more habitable in the past, Josh could see the reasons for decline. The temperature was high and most of the area they drove over was charred, probably because of the overheated lava flowing on the edges. The terrain was rugged, the Mako had to drive up and down a few hills and through a small rocky gorge, making its passengers feel every meter. Josh welcomed the smooth passage through a human built tunnel, as no doubt the rest of the crew.

"A gate up ahead," Shepard interrupted the lingering silence after about 10 minutes of navigating the Mako. "Gate closed, probably controlled from the inside. If there is an AA system the controls are probably inside."

"How do we get through the gates?" Ashley asked, "is our cannon enough?"

"How about the little side passage to the right," Wrex was scouting forward down the sights of his machine gun.

Shepard nodded, spotting what Wrex was talking about. The Mako took a sudden turn right and began a slow and tedious climb up a small slope. Shepard pulled another turn, suddenly bringing the vehicle to a stop.

"They haven't spotted us yet," she said as her seatbelt slid open, "it's best to proceed on foot inside. The Mako radar reads only a small enemy presence, they are simply controlling a captured checkpoint."

Everyone else followed Shepard's lead getting out of their seat belts and the Mako. As soon as Josh got outside he felt his whole body stretch, it was incredibly satisfying to be able to stand up full height again. Evidently Wrex felt the same way, the krogan tilted his head both ways, each time giving out a loud crack. Shepard quickly rounded up the group, cocking her assault rifle into readiness and moving forward, the rest of them on her six.

As they got to the opening in the base, all four leaned into cover. Shepard was the closest to the edge, she leaned over carefully to scout out the situation. As she returned to her position in full cover her right hand went up and flashed five fingers followed by another three. Eight hostiles guarding the position, two per squad member if they were efficient. Josh tapped Shepard on the shoulder switching cover positions with her, he needed to be fast, he could see Wrex clutch at his shotgun harder.

He leaned from the corner and spotted what he needed. A barrel stood near a group of four geth, this would even the table and speed up the fight. Quickly he ducked from the corner under one of the crates unnoticed. Without hesitation he leaned and threw a biotic lift at the barrel ignoring the stinging pain in the back of his head, the small biotic threads pulled at the barrel. As the geth turned they opened fire, but it was too late, Josh levelled the barrel with the group just as Wrex leaned form his cover firing a quick burst at it. The loud explosion threw parts of the enemies all around the battlefield.

Shepard herself didn't wait for an invitation to join the party. She quickly appeared from behind the corner, taking out the closest geth trooper with a well aimed assault rifle burst, Ashley Williams following her lead. Josh ducked behind his cover, hearing the enemy shots hitting the other side of the box. There were only two of them left.

Wrex's speed always impressed Josh. Despite his sheer mass, the krogan managed move with grace and speed of an asari. The mercenary went into a roll, coming up right next to one of the geth, burrowing the handle of his shotgun along with his locked fist into the enemy's knee joint. He quickly then extended the gun wielded hand, firing off a one handed shot at the second enemy, exploding that one's chest wide open. As he turned back to his initial opponent Wrex found him crippled on the floor, the machinery in the knee broken. Without hesitation the mercenary pressed his shotgun against the enemy 'head' and pressed the trigger, bits of metal spraying everywhere.

"Clear," his baritone followed the spreading ring of a shotgun blast.

"Good," Shepard stood up straight, examining the surrounding, "that building over there," she pointed by the only building in between the two gates, "it most likely contains the controls. Wrex, Josh, open the gate, me and Ashley will double back to the Mako and pick you up by the entrance."

Josh nodded as him and Wrex began to move towards the building while Shepard led Williams back towards the Mako. Both him and the Krogan closed the distance to the building quickly, pressing their backs on either side of the entrance at the same time. Josh quickly leaned in, semi-crouched making his way into the building, there were a few control panels and a small corridor that curved a few meters down. A muffled mechanised sound came from behind the turn.

Wrex moved, pressing his body into Josh's back and forcing him to move as well. They turned the corner running into two more geth. Josh quickly ducked, firing off a few shots at the geth, all hitting the target. Wrex followed suit, shooting over top of Josh, two quick shotgun rounds blasting the head clean off one of the enemies.

After both were down, Josh got up and walked over to the main control panel. He quickly switched the controls on, fingers banging rapidly around the keys that lit up. First thing was disabling the AA system to let the rest of the Normandy crew provide support. The second one was opening the gate. As soon as he keyed in the last commander there was a sound outside, screeching metal gate sliding open.

When Josh and Wrex came outside the Mako was already safely in front of the gate, waiting for them to get in. The two didn't let the Commander wait on them for long. Josh allowed Wrex to get into the Mako first for which he earned a very disgruntled look from the krogan as he followed the mercenary in. Once in position, Shepard moved the Mako.

For another five minutes they had to endure the gruelling task of driving the Mako through Therum, making the crew dislike every single bump on the road. Josh couldn't help but feel the desire to cause a lot of pain to some Alliance engineers, specifically the ones that thought the Mako to be a good concept. He didn't get the time to contemplate the methods of his revenge however as Shepard pulled the Mako to a full stop.

"Joker," she spoke over the communicator, "we're at a dead end. Switching on the beacon, instruct Alenko and the rest of the ground squad to retrieve it. We're proceeding on foot."

Happy at the thought of not having to endure any more of the mechanised monstrosity Josh willingly was the first one to get out of the 'death trap,' everyone else followed. Once outside they faced a narrow path between two small cliffs, enough space for a regular squad but not the Mako. Everyone checked their radar, they were close to the dig site itself, proceeding on foot was fine from here.

Shepard took point as everyone else followed. Josh found himself on the right with Wrex opposite and Williams shutting down the procession from the back. All of them had their guns on the ready. Josh felt his heart beat inside his chest, measured, increased, but still somehow calm. He could see clearly, straight ahead and his thoughts were focused on the next encounter, everything was in order. He realized that this was what he lived for, in this respect he was not much different from Wrex. The only difference was that this was not all of it.

As they approached the next clearing Shepard ducked into cover behind some rocks, pointing ahead. Once everyone was in cover Josh took the liberty of leaning out to check on the situation. A small geth squad, this one however had rocket troopers and one sniper. Those took priority. Josh got behind cover and turned to look at Shepard, waiting for Commands. In the background he saw Wrex replacing the shotgun in his hands with a tactical pistol.

Shepard once again led the way, without hesitation taking out the sniper. Josh hesitated for just a second, impressed by how well the Commander handled aiming with such a weapon, shooting distances like it was sniper rifle. Wrex followed Stephanie's lead right away, two placed shots taking out the rocket troopers, the remaining geth scattering for cover. The squad moved up, taking cover where available and providing covering fire from each other's advances.

On one of the moves Josh felt himself trip, using his free foot to push off the ground with strength. His body hit the ground sliding on solid rock before slamming directly into another piece of stone. Ignoring the obvious pain he jumped up, pistol on the ready, three quick bursts taking down the exact same number of enemies. As he turned for the fourth one, Josh's brain realized that he may be a split second too late, the enemy's weapon was already well in aim. Before any other thoughts crossed Josh's mind the geth soldier dropped from a direct shot to the head.

"Clear," Shepard's voice was loud and direct as she ran right past Josh and up a small hill.

The dig site was close, they all knew it. A small, artificial bridge signified industrialized presence. The rover tracks on it however were not new, at least a week old. If the archaeologists noticed the geth presence they would retreat to the colony and that was easily a few miles away, at a better defended position. Some strange readings however were picked up by the Normandy from this location.

Shepard was in the lead, as expected, her gun was pointed forward as she measured every step taken, carefully considering possible threats from all directions. There was a veteran like determination in her step, as if she has done it more than her share of times. Every moves was crisp and calculated, every single turn aimed at covering a previous blind spot.

Williams was no different, except a little bit too excited with her movements, like a small dog happy to see its master home and ready for a walk. Ashley had a great sense of combat presence, yet her eagerness to impress could lead to a potential mistake, a fatal judgement.

Wrex was the most casual of all. Josh was actually slightly surprised to see the krogan was aiming with his pistol at the moment instead of the shotgun. Most krogan ignored tactics and preferred the heavy weapons to anything that could give them a potential advantage, it was all about raw power. Wrex on the other hand has shown that he has the presence of mind to analyze potential situations, adjust accordingly. Such behaviour contributed to higher survival rates in combat, and not only among the krogan.

As they cleared the final slope the squad came into what was potentially an entrance into the mines. On one side there was a giant warehouse, most of the rover tracks led directly into it, most like used to transport supplies and equipment to and from the colony. On the other there was an entrance into the mines, a metal door that led directly into the mountain core. If Dr T'Soni was still at the site she would be in there.

"Everyone stay sharp," Shepard whispered, "it's awfully calm out here, especially considering the geth presence."

"Maybe the miners recovered to the colony," Ashley suggested hopefully, "or barricaded in the mines."

"Unlikely," Shepard shut down the suggestion, "at least not all of them."

"It's quiet," Josh noted, listening to every noise. For a second he thought he saw a movement in his periphery but when he turned there was nothing there. Maybe it was the side effect of his slight biotic enhancement, or his mind playing tricks. Maybe the continuous noise, the one that most of the geth made was also a figment of his imagination. Josh did his best to stay sharp.

"Too quiet," Wrex agreed, pistol on the read.

"Umm, Commander," Joker's voice rang in every single communicator, the Normandy link was patched to everyone. "You've got a slight problem here..." Just as Joker was about to say something else a giant geth ship flew over head, sending the squad scrambling for cover.

"I see it Joker," Shepard said before cutting off the connection. She was leaned behind a small set of barricades, most likely used to regulate continuous rover movement.

Just as Shepard finished her sentence a sequence of slamming noises occurred, most likely the ship dropping troops into battle. The smaller ones were followed by a shatter smash into the ground. Josh leaned out of his cover to see a large container opening up and uncovering a geth armature.

"Bet you'd love to have the Mako now," he turned to Wrex who was in cover right beside him.

"Wouldn't be as much fun," the krogan seemed to smile again before leaning from his cover and firing a few placed shots and felling three geth before returning to his initial position.

Josh was about to follow his lead but was thrown off by a shot ripping through the side of his cover. Instinctively he threw up a barrier, and turned to see who was firing at him. He was facing a small reptilian-like geth creature, crawling up one of the pillars by the garage, taking aim for another shot. As Josh returned fire the weird-looking geth almost dodged the bullet, dashing to a completely different position. With another shot the geth moved again, showing its superior speed and reflexes. Josh took his last aim, fired once, and quickly adjusted to the movement of the enemy, firing a second shot nearly seconds after, the bullet and the creature's head arriving at the spot at the same time.

"Crawlers," Wrex sounded disgusted as he grabbed his shotgun from its holster with his free hand and let loose a barrage onto the remaining reptilian geth.

Shepard on the opposite side was doing no worse, her assault rifle fire quickly taking out the remaining crawlers and focusing on the armature. Bullets seemed to do very little damage to it as the large machine was slowly advancing on their position. Ashley was focusing more on the armature's entourage, taking out one geth trooper at a time and creating covering fire for Stephanie. There was one the Gunnery Chief didn't notice, and that was the one she ought to have.

The geth rocket trooper took aim and fired, the rocket missing anyone directly yet burrowing into the ground a few feet away from Williams, throwing the Gunner Chief off balance and onto the hard ground. Ashley was out of cover, too exposed for the following attacks, thankfully only the rocket trooper and the armature were left. However, the armature was charging a shot, indicating that with an increasingly glowing light at the tip of its main cannon.

Josh took of his place, reinforcing his biotic barrier further, feeling the stinging pain focused directly above his neck at the back of his head. He heard Wrex firing, hoping the mercenary took out the remaining rocket trooper. Just as Josh got to Ashley he was working purely on instinct, most of his muscles tensed as he picked her up and tossed her back into cover as the armature fired. Josh quickly pushed off, felling his legs extend as he dove completely to the side, the shot hitting the grown, but the aftershock throwing him at the wall.

Everything hurt now, there'd be bruises after this fight, and not good ones. Josh fought all the pain, both external and the one from his biotic use and scrambled into cover before the machine could take another aim. It was clear that simple tactics wouldn't do it, and the armature was advancing so they needed to do something fast.

Josh caught Wrex take out stack of grenades, all connected together by some sort of wire with his free hand, the one that used the shotgun a few moments ago. The mercenary ducked out of his cover throwing the whole package at the armature. As the explosives reached the machine he fired a shot from his pistol. The bullet hit the exploding mechanism, causing a giant effect. Smoke covered the area letting everyone relax for a second, but not for too long as the dust that came up from the blast was quickly cleared by another artillery shot from the armature.

Josh decided to act quickly at that moment. If the rest of them stayed in cover the fight would be over soon as the geth heavy unit would advance on the position and destroy whatever it as, they needed to act fast.

Despite every single joint in his body rebelling against the action, Josh took off. He sprinted at an incredible speed, the wind caught in his ears drowned out most the battle. In his periphery Josh could see the armature turning, acknowledging his manoeuvre, perhaps even readying for a shot. He wouldn't give it a chance... if he was fast enough.

The rocket trooper's body lay lifeless on the ground, all of the processes that operated the geth communal mind stopped in this one forever. As Josh scooped the rocket launcher he tripped over one of the dead enemy's legs, falling down. When falling Josh regrouped to face backwards, while taking aim. The rocket launcher crosshair focused on the armature, locking in almost instantly. Josh squeezed the finger just as the armature was readying to fire another shot. The metal 'arrow' pierced straight into the machine's body before exploding, throwing chunks of metal up in the air.

"Clear," Josh shouted across the little court to where Shepard, Ashley, and Wrex were still in cover. He then allowed himself a moment of weakness, spreading his limbs and relaxing with his back on the ground.

"What is so important about this dig site?" Ashley asked as the rest of the squad caught up with Josh.

"It's not the ruins," Shepard reasoned, "they're most likely here for the same reason we are, Matriarch Benezia's daughter. Seeing heavy geth presence gives me hope that Dr T'Soni maybe on our side rather than Saren's."

"Would an asari scientist survive a full scale geth assault for over a week?" Wrex spoke out loud, matching his words to what everyone was thinking.

"We're about to find out," Shepard gave a feint smile, offering a hand to Josh.

Josh used Commander's hand in order to help himself up. The geth rocket launcher still had a few charges in it, good for another couple of shots, it wouldn't be a bad idea to bring it along. He quickly fixed it into place on his back, right above the shotgun as the group made their way up a little ramp and towards the door into the dig site. Shepard once again was at the tip of the squad.

"Keep sharp," she said as the doors opened and they began their decent down a slope into the heart of the site.

No one needed reminding to stay on their toes, especially after their outside encounter. With any luck however, there would be no armatures, unlikely that geth would be able to fit one in through the small passages.

The walls were polished out, signs of well calibrated drilling machinery. Since their first colonization humans quickly adopted to the space life, utilizing technological advances to the fullest. There were no signs of life in this particular site however, everything was silent, almost serene.

Stephanie led them through a small door at the bottom onto a walkway leading along the walls deeper into the site. As soon as the squad entered into the clearing a few geth opened fire. Josh reacted right away, shooting back with precision, the rest followed example. The battle was over almost as soon as it started.

As the walkways opened up the ground team faced something that looked like an ancient structure, with a blue mass effect field in a effect separating whatever was inside from the dig site itself. The ruins didn't look recent, and it was probably the discovery that attracted Dr T'Soni to Therum. Josh didn't quite get the time to study the doctor's profile, and he regretted that now. It would have been useful to know which civilization these belonged to.

"Droid turrets," Ashley's warning snapped Josh out of his thought.

Three mechanical turrets rose up from somewhere at the bottom of the site, from where Josh couldn't see because of the many levels below. The mechanised assault droids opened fire immediately, the first thing Josh could do was throw over another biotic barrier. His use was taking a toll, the pointed pain at the top of his neck getting stronger and more acute. Thankfully he didn't have to endure the biotic force for long.

Shepard quickly knocked down the first enemy just as soon as it appeared, with everyone cleaning up after her. The ground team seemed to come together quiet well with Steph and Ash offering heavy fire using their assault rifles. The krogan mercenary served as the muscle, using his shotgun for the most part, providing enough distraction and havoc for the enemy. Josh himself was a more tactical soldier, relying on a combination of biotics, cover and precision shooting. Shepard has definitely studied everyone's profile, creating a cohesive unit which merged the abilities of everyone.

The mass effect field blocked the rest of the path, the only option was the elevator down. The team entered as Ashley pressed the button and they began the slow decent. The elevator moved slowly, pausing for a second in a few spots. The reaction of the wires and the metal did not give the most confident of sounds.

"A metal trap," Wrex complained sarcastically, "great. Now we can die from falling to our death due to reliance on technology."

"I didn't see any steps," Shepard responded, "but if you feel like you can jump down more successfully, you're welcome to try."

Josh smiled to himself, standing behind everyone he was sure no one saw him at that moment. He was impressed with how well Shepard was handling Wrex. Most krogan were not the ones to be commanded, especially by a woman. Stephanie though has show the mercenary that she was in charge of the operation and left him no other options, she also quiet obviously impressed Wrex with her performance so far.

The elevator gave out a few more screeching noises, something that sounded like a perverted version of a dying swan before stopping completely a few levels off the ground. Shepard stepped out onto the broken down walkway as the rest of the crew followed, careful not to step on the wrong place and disrupt the balance of the already damaged footing. The 'emergency' stop proved to be fortuitous, to the left of the elevator there was an asari, suspended in some sort of energy trap, hands and legs spread, she looked somewhat like a weird version of the vitruvian man.

"Uh, hello?" the asari quickly reacted to the noise the crew seemed to make during their decent, "could somebody help me? Please?"

Shepard carefully approached the glowing blue field to look at the asari.

"Can you hear me out there," the asari seemed to respond to Stephanie, "I'm trapped. I need help... Are you..? Are you real? Oh no -– Don't be stupid Liara," the doctor seemed to ramble on, talking to herself, "you're hallucinating... And talking to yourself.. Huh, aha... Oh Goddess, I am going to die here."

"I'm real, and I'm getting you out of there," Shepard said decisively.

"You're oddly lucid for a hallucination," Liara didn't seem to believe Stephanie's words, "they don't usually claim to be real. Or do they? I guess I wouldn't know. I don't usually hallucinate. At least I don't think I do."

"My name is Shepard," Stephanie persisted, "the Office of Special Tactics and Recon sent me."

"A spectre?" Liara didn't sound too impressed, "that's good, what else would I conjure up? A protective figure, yes. Perfect. Comforting. Well, I'll play along, as you can see I am trapped here. If you're as real as you claim find a way to get me."

"She is insane," Ashley whispered behind Shepard.

"She's been in there for at least a week if not more," Josh reasoned on behalf of the asari, "I'm not surprised she is a little bit... unstable, at the moment."

"Makes you wonder if she'll be any help at all," Ashley concluded to herself.

"We just need to figure some way past this energy field," Shepard didn't seem to hear her subordinates' interaction.

"It's a prothean barrier curtain," Liara responded, "I knew it would keep me safe from the geth. When I turned it on I must have hit something I wasn't supposed to, I was trapped in here. You must get me out. Please!"

"We'll find some way to help you," Stephanie promised.

"For someone who assumes to be insane she has no problem of communicating with hallucinations," Wrex seemed to chuckle a bit at the situation outside of Shepard's hearing range. Josh smiled at the comment.

"Of course," Liara interrupted the background conversation, "what good is a hallucination if it can't offer false hope? Listen, if you're real, find some way past the barrier curtain. Find some way to deal with the geth."

"That shouldn't be a problem," Wrex cocked his shotgun.

"Then use the control pad to release me," Dr T'Soni went on. "If you're not real, leave me alone, I'm tired of talking to myself."

"On the double," Shepard turned to her squad and all four took off down the ramp. The elevator appeared to take them as close to the ground as possible, one more clearing leading the crew to solid footing rather than artificial walkways. As soon as their feet touched the rocky surface the four were met with enemy fire. "Spread out," Shepard commanded.

Josh found himself with his back against the rock, enemy bullets piercing the other side of his cover. It was a good idea to throw up the barrier and he did just that, ignoring the piercing sensation at the back of his head. With quick movements he darted for the next position, his squad mates providing sufficient cover fire. As he moved, Josh fired a few shots at the geth, hitting two opponents and bringing him down. Once in position, he laid down covering fire for the rest of the crew to advance.

Wrex tore through the enemy line, taking the remaining group head on. He charged the first geth, burrowing into him and bringing the metallic mass to the ground before stomping onto its head. The two supporting troops scrambled but the krogan's shotgun blasts chased them down in their stride. Just as the mercenary turned, a well aimed shot hit him in the back, if it wasn't for the barrier it might have caused some damage.

"Sniper," Ashley reacted quickly, laying down suppressive fire onto enemy position. Josh used the opportunity to bend around the side, knowing the enemy couldn't see him. He quickly came into an appropriate position for a shot, took aim and brought down the last enemy.

"Clear," his voice rang through the cave.

"How can we get past the field?" Ashley asked when the squad regrouped by the energy shields.

"By conventional methods," Shepard smiled noticing something in front of her. The rest followed her gaze, stopping at a gigantic mining laser used for underground exploration. That thing was good enough to create a small opening under the foundation of the ruins, letting the four in at the bottom level.

"How do we start it though?" Ashley still seemed concerned.

"Even simpler," Wrex responded, walking up to the laser. Usually such machinery needed an intricate sequence of codes entered in order to work, and this one's control pad seemed to be broken, not offering much hope.

Wrex's shotgun let out a loud bang as he fired at the control panel. The encounter of bullets with high tech electronics gave out a fizzing sound. The krogan, un-phased by that balled his hand into a fist and brought it down on top of what used to be a panel with full force. The mining laser spat out a few ruffling noises before starting full out, burrowing forward at full motion. The collision of the mining equipment and rock created a sufficient enough opening onto the bottom level of the ruins.

"Efficient," Josh commented on Wrex's actions with a certain hint of amusement in his tone.

"What can I say," Wrex responded in similar manner, "I just have a way with technology."

Shepard smiled while Ashley stared at the krogan for a few more seconds. After the pleasantries were done the four went through the new opening. The walls within the ruins were polished, industrial as opposed to the inside of the mining facility, however they didn't have time to marvel at them. The prothean elevator was not far ahead, taking them a few levels up where Dr T'Soni was still trapped.

"Now I am hallucinating that you are inside the tower," Liara reacted to their appearance same as before. "I must be getting worse, earlier I even imagined I heard thunder."

"She's hanging in there this one," Wrex continued his one krogan comment display much to Josh's amusement.

"We used the mining laser to burrow through," Shepard reasoned with the asari.

"You burrowed through?" Liara didn't seem convinced, "OH! You're real aren't you," she seemed to finally grasp the situation, "by the Goddess, you're real! I -- I'm sorry, I thought you were a hallucination. I thought I was going mad, please get me out of here. Hurry, before more geth show up."

Shepard quickly approached the control panel behind the trap and studied it for a second. After a moment she quickly tapped her finger on the controls. After a few unsuccessful attempts the blue sphere disappeared, losing its grip on the asari scientist.

"Any idea how we can get out of this place?" Ashley asked right away after Liara was freed.

"There is an elevator back in the center of the tower," Liara offered a suggestion, "At least I -- I think it's an elevator, it should take us out of here. Common."

The group moved towards the center of the tower, luckily the walk wasn't too long. Liara was not mistaken, it was an elevator, the same the squad used to go up a few levels before hand. Just as the group loaded onto the platform Liara spoke again.

"I -- I still can't believe all this," she looked at Shepard. "Why would the geth come after me?"

"Perhaps it has something to do with your mother working for a rogue spectre?" Ashley blurted out without thinking. Her little outburst lost the little leverage they had in finding out whose side Liara was truly on.

"Benezia?" Liara seemed confused, "I -- I can't..."

No one got a chance to hear what exactly Liara couldn't as a loud rumbling noise came from around the walls of the ruins, shaking the platform and those on it.

"What the hell was that?" Ashley recovered quickly, she sounded annoyed.

"These ruins are not stable," Liara reasoned. "That mining laser must have triggered a seismic event," Liara moved towards the elevator controls. "We have to hurry, the whole place is caving in."

"Joker," Shepard quickly established connection with the pilot through the communicator. "Get the Normandy airborne and locked in on my signal. On the double mister."

"Aye aye Commander," the response was instantaneous, "secure and away. ETA eight minutes."

"Going to be a close call," Josh said as the elevator began the movement up.

"If we die here," Wrex said in complete seriousness, "I will kill Joker."

The elevator moved upwards slowly, dragging itself to the higher levels. Everyone looked worried and Josh couldn't blame them. The ruins shook around them, a few loose rocks coming down onto the platform, the whole place was coming apart, and there wasn't much time. Shepard was the only one who didn't seem to show any concern, she was focused entirely on getting out of this mess. As the elevator climbed the last few floors and came to a stop the group was greeted with another surprise, - a krogan warrior surrounded by geth.

"Surrender, or don't," the krogan led the negotiations. "That would be more fun."

"I second that," Wrex gripped his shotgun tighter.

"We don't have time for this," slight hints of frustration made it into Shepard's intonation, "kill them!"

"I like this human," the krogan enemy laughed.

"I'm starting to warm up to her as well," Wrex said, more to Josh than anyone else.

Within seconds the top of the platform turned into a battlefield. Shepard's squad dispersed to different corners, looking for cover. Josh instantly threw a barrier over himself followed by a quick push aimed at two geth. He then bent around the corner to get a better shot and a slightly cover and finished off the two as they got up. The sound of gunfire rang through the whole chamber.

Josh worked around the bend trying to spot more enemies. One of the geth popped out from its cover, inches away from him. Josh turned out to be the quicker of the two, three bullets piercing the opponents metallic shell. He then turned and made a few more curves, making sure Shepard and company took care of the rest.

The enemy krogan was in the middle of the platform, a biotic barrier around him. He was letting off shotgun blasts in rapid successions, spinning around looking for targets. Josh leaned out of cover and fired a few shots at the reptilian to get his attention, all four bursts stopped by the enemy's biotic barrier. The plan worked however, the krogan turned and let loose with another shot. Josh felt a sharp pain in his head as he unwillingly let down the barrier allowing the spray shot from the shotgun to penetrate sections of his right shoulder, knocking him back. Meanwhile, the enemy was taking another aim.

He didn't have time to take the killing shot however, a burst of assault rifle fire knocking the shotgun out of its hand and then piercing through the barrier and into the armour. It must have been Shepard or Williams. Josh quickly scrambled to get up, ignoring the burning pain in his shoulder. The krogan gave out a massive roar and charged.

A sequence of gunshots exploded through the chamber. Everyone – Shepard, Wrex, and Ashley fired on the krogan as it raced in the final fit of rage at Josh, intent of taking at least one opponent with him. Josh picked up his gun, forcing his right arm to aim despite the piercing pain. He aimed, held his sights for a second before firing, three quick bursts, straight at the enemy's face. The krogan fell and slid on the floor, its hard shell head cover stopping millimetres from tip of Josh's shoes.

Everyone quickly moved towards the last force field, not forgetting about their current premise. As they approached the whole foundation shook and the force field went down, the ceiling up ahead was already crumbling.

"Move!" Shepard commanded, although there was no need for that, everyone was already sprinting before the request came.

Josh locked up the procession as he worked hard to sprint forward. A few falling rocks came too close for comfort, none hitting him however as he continued to run. The walls around them shook as they made it back into the mining area, coming down onto the walkway behind them. Josh could feel the foundation breaking down at his feet as he ran faster.

As the group hit the final stretch, the prolonged tunnel to the exit Ashley tripped. Her foot clipped a bit of loose wire and she went down quickly, scrambling to get up. Josh didn't waste any time in covering the distance between him and the Gunnery Chief. His left arm quickly went around her waist, hoisting her up back to her feet and pushing her on.

As the five cleared the final door the sunlight was a welcome sight, and even more pleasing was the Normandy cargo hold open. Shepard was the first to jump in followed by Wrex. Liara displayed impressive agility and awareness for someone who has been suspended without movement or resources for over a week and followed suit. Ashley and Josh were the last two to hop into the vessel. As the Normandy ascended, the walkway went away and crumbled to the ground, the ruins collapsing onto themselves.

"That was a close one," Wrex brushed the dust off his armour, casually observing the destruction below through the closing cargo doors.

"Never again," Ashley agreed with the krogan on this point.

Josh couldn't do much than roll over to face the ceiling. His head ache was gone, but its sudden appearance was responsible for his current injury. His shoulder burned as blood poured out of it. The actual wound was not fatal, but spread damage always posed a legitimate threat to significant blood loss. Shepard was the first to notice his injury.

"Alenko, Garrus," she commanded to those who greeted them in the cargo hold, "get Josh to Dr Chakwas. Now! Everyone else, get changed and report to the briefing room. That includes you Dr T'Soni, we have a few things to discuss."

Josh could see the asari scientist nod as Garrus and Kaidan dragged him away into the elevator. Liara looked exhausted, and that was not surprising. Josh found himself wishing that the asari would join them, not simply because he thought she was slightly attractive, but also because she seemed a sincerely good person. Besides, now she owed Shepard one from saving her from the geth and the fragile structure of the mines.

As they unloaded them in the med bay Garrus and Kaidan left, most likely headed to the briefing room to discuss further action. Josh felt as if he should be joining them, but the pain in his shoulder was too much, it was better to handle that first.

"Military bravado at its finest," he heard Chakwas' voice as she approached him, cutting through his shirt and exposing the injured shoulder, "always gets you back where you started doesn't it?"

"Tell me about it doctor," Josh smiled, "I wish guns did some kind of less convenient damange."

"Would make my job much easier," doctor agreed after a mock display of concentrated contemplation. "Do you want to keep the scars or not?"

"I could use another memento," Josh reasoned. He was never satisfied they didn't let him keep his injuries from Elysium, and was intent on keeping everything else as it is supposed to be. Most soldiers hated scars, it was aesthetical question before all. To Josh they always seemed an adequate reminder of the fragility of human form.

"Very well then," Dr Chakwas slid on the gas mask over Josh's face. "Let us begin."

Josh felt his eye lids getting heavier and heavier. His vision slowly deteriorated into a complete, grey blur before completely phasing. He passed out on the operating table.


	21. Chapter 20: As We Stand

**Disclaimer: Obviously all of the game characters, places etc. are creative property of BioWare.**

**GTA Manic: Thanks for consistent reviews. The lack of such was why I kind of fell out if writing this story in the past. Yeah, I am trying to spin around various romance options as well, I think this chapter turned out a little sloppy in that regard but I will try to pick up the slack as we proceed. As for who I would pick to play Josh? I never actually thought to deep into it, but yeah, Chris Pine, especially considering his Star Trek performance definitely fits the bill. After watching the pilot for How to Make it in America I'm thinking Brian Greenberg as he is in that show would be a good ift. .... Thanks for support and for the fact that I know at least someone keeps on reading... :D**

**Chapter 20**

**As We Stand**

_Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; truth isn't._

_Mark Twain_

_The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them._

_Ernest Hemingway_

"I think he's coming around now Commander," Dr Chakwas' voice sounded distant and disconnected from reality. "I will leave you alone. Just remember, he needs at least 5 minutes to fully recover from all the anaesthetic."

"I will consider that doctor," Shepard thanked Dr Chakwas for her advice.

The next thing Josh heard was the sound of distancing footsteps on the metallic floor of the Normandy and the medical bay doors opening to let the doctor out and swiftly closing behind her. It was him and Shepard now, at least that's what he assumed. There could have been a third member of the conversation who didn't make himself known yet.

Josh forced himself to sit up and looked around the room. The medical bay was exactly the same as before, equipment arranged everywhere. He felt a strenuous pain in his shoulder but it disappeared quickly. Josh looked down on the bandages on his shoulder, there wasn't any blood so they must have been new. Surprisingly, unlike most gun wounds this one didn't exactly hurt.

Stephanie Shepard stood across from him, leaning backwards against the wall. She was looking into a report, either a mission brief or something else, something personal perhaps. Josh moved his head side to side cracking his neck, slowly regaining feeling in most parts of his body.

"How do you feel," Shepard finally looked up from her reading material at him.

"Like I had a week long binge," Josh admitted, anaesthetic always had that effect on him.

"We have to talk," Stephanie didn't appear too compassionate to his situation. She put down the report on the table where she stood and walked up to Josh, sitting down on the opposite bed. They were face to face now.

"What about?" he thought whether or not he was allowed to relax during this conversation or if he had to stay on his toes.

"When you were out," Shepard's eyes strayed a little to the side, she had a tendency to do that when she was uncomfortable to admit to something, "I asked Dr Chakwas to run some scans."

"On me?" Josh put on a questionable expression."

"Josh, look," Stephanie mumbled, but quickly regained her composure, "I know you... from before I mean. You were one of the best biotics stationed on Elysium, most reports spoke of your 'potential,' I couldn't believe that you would lose control of your barrier as easily as you did in the last fight."

"So you decided to double check me?" Josh felt a little angry, he didn't let it show, all of his intent wasn't exactly transparent at the moment. He needed to handle this carefully. "I'm not some piece of machinery Steph," Josh argued, "you can't just pick me apart if you think something is wrong."

"How else was I supposed to find out if your biotic abilities were in order?" she asked, not hurt but slightly taken back.

"Could have tried asking," Josh suggested, he acted as if he was getting even angrier, and felt bad at the same time. He hated lying to Steph like this.

"Okay," Shepard nodded, her tone regaining the usual resolve, "why do you have experimental prototype amplifier implanted? Dr Chakwas says its expensive technology, not even available to the Alliance."

Josh stared straight at Stephanie and she answered back, this was not good. He knew he couldn't reveal Cerberus, he would not remain on the ship. Inside, he hoped that the Illusive Man wouldn't threaten Sarah or Kamilah if he simply failed and was taken off the Normandy, if Cerberus' intent was revealed however, that would be completely different.

"Well?" Steph forced the issue impatiently.

"I had them implanted," Josh went for the obvious answer, but from Shepard's expression it was obvious that was not enough. "Fine... Look... You don't know a lot about me Steph. I needed something like this," he tried to come up with something plausible, "I came up with an arrangement. I did some things, I am not proud of most," that part was true. "It was an exchange."

"Who has resources like this?" Shepard inquired, as much to herself as to Josh, "I mean, the amplifier is of human make, but it is nearly untraceable. I have no doubt they will be introduced to the Alliance within a year."

"I can't tell you that," Josh looked down, he wanted to reveal that, to let Steph know the whole truth.

"Will it malfunction again?" Shepard cut to the chase, "I can't have my squad mates having handicaps like this."

"It won't get in a way," Josh assured the Commander, "I can handle it."

"Good," Shepard nodded, reaching back to the data pad again. "What about the chemicals? Did you have installed as well? I allowed Chakwas to take a sample by the way, something like improved regeneration could help everyone on the squad. I would have loved to have known about that earlier."

"I didn't think I was at liberty to discuss that," Josh did well to hide his surprise, he cursed the Illusive Man in his head, putting him on the spot like that. "I had that added a little later, from a different employer. Look," he tried to break off the conversation, "I was looking for something, in the dangerous corners of space, without help, I needed anything I could get my hands on. I am not your enemy, as much as much as you'd love to convince yourself otherwise."

"That's where you're wrong," Shepard got up, speaking in a measured manner, "it's the opposite I'm trying to convince myself off."

Josh started at his long friend of a while as shades of guilt slowly crept into his mind. He knew that doing what Cerberus asked would not be easy, but he didn't expect to confront the Commander in such manner until at least further into the mission. He was there for Steph, and he had faith in her as Commander, she was also his friend, that made it even worse hiding something from her.

"Let's move on," Shepard didn't let the uncomfortable silence linger, "I'll leave it be unless you have something else to tell me."

"No," Josh lied, feeling his stomach twist.

"Good," Stephanie moved on. "How is your arm? Dr Chakwas said that it should heal fast."

"It's good," Josh said rotating his right arm with his left hand over the shoulder, "should be alright. Where are we headed?"

"Noveria," Shepard said, "Matriarch Benezia was reported to be seen there, there is a slight chance she still is there. We need to investigate.

"What about her daughter?" Josh inquired.

"Dr Liara T'Soni is now part of the Normandy crew," Shepard said, not sounding convinced to the end. "Once she heard about her mother she offered her help. I accepted, we need all the help we can get our hands on."

"And what if she is still with her mother, doing recon on us?" Josh offered a suggestion.

"Even better to have her with us then," Shepard reasoned in her usual manner. "Let's us keep a closer eye."

Josh smiled, that was a familiar side of Stephanie that he knew. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer was a philosophy as old as humanity at self. A strategist that she was Shepard would resort such wisdoms. Made him question whether or not she was closing in to him for a reason as well.

"I have to go handle a few reports to the Alliance brass," Shepard moved towards the exist, "Dr Chakwas said you're free to return to your own cabin."

Josh remained in the same position for a few more minutes, staring at the table in front of him. Some unpleasant things came up in that conversation. He never for a second distanced himself from the fact that eventually he'd have to confront Shepard about Cerberus, now just wasn't the time. Stephanie knew something was off, whether or not she chose to trust Josh's explanation would be left up to time.

After the moments of contemplation Josh got up and headed out of the medical bay, he has spent enough time sleeping, it was time to catch up with his friends, and more importantly, keep the Shadow Broker and the Illusive Man satisfied for the moment. It would be interesting to see what Dr T'Soni would bring to the team. As a scientist she would bring a certain amount of insight, but as an asari she would bring a more efficient biotic to the squad.

Once inside his room Josh made sure the door was safely shut behind him, manually disabling the 'automatic' setting. This could have been problematic, but because Normandy was like no other Alliance ship, cabin controls were concentrated in individual clusters, meaning such action would not alert the main hub to any tampering.

Once at the computer Josh considered long and hard what he would write. A quick email to Kamilah wouldn't make any problem, however the reports to Illusive Man and consequently, the Shadow Broker would be more difficult. The Illusive Man wanted simple updates to control 'humanity's' interest, while the Shadow Broker would need something more specific, that Josh didn't have at the moment. It was time to write however.

When writing to Kamilah he told her that he caught up with Shepard and that he was actually doing quite well. The rest of the letter was closed up by usual questions regarding their relocation, the way she was adjusting. The letters to the Illusive Man and Shadow Broker were backed onto the Kamilah email using the mask coding provided by Cerberus. For the Illusive Man Josh provided a simple report of the situation informing of Liara T'soni's status as a crew member from now on. The Shadow Broker, or most likely Barla Von would receive a similar email except with slightly more detail regarding the prothean ruins.

After all of that was done Josh unlocked the door again, resetting the initial programming. It was time to get some sleep.

MExMExMExME

The dreams levelled out after a while, he simply found himself reliving the various points of the last nine years. This time it was Omega. When Josh woke up it took him a few minutes to find even footing and some grasp on where he was, it was always the same. He rubbed his temples as he got. Getting dressed was a little bit of a chore, the right shoulder still sore and hurting, but it was healing at the incredible pace.

Josh made his way out into the mess, looking around. Kaidan was somewhat busy talking to someone Josh didn't know, the Normandy cook was busy preparing a meal. No one else was in sight. He walked toward the medical bay, passing by Dr Chakwas and dropping her a quick 'thanks.' The back room of the med bay was small and compact it contained two tables with some computers and other technology as well as two beds, one often empty, but since Liara opted out to bunk with Dr Chakwas both would be occupied. Liara was sitting at the table, reading something on a data pad. When she heard Josh walk up she spun around in the chair to face him.

"Hello," her voice was soft and melodic. "Wait, I recognize you. You were part of the crew that got me rescued. Thank you. I just hope your shoulder is alright. Anything you need?"

"Just came by to introduce myself," Josh said, "it can be tough to be a newcomer to an Alliance vessel."

"Yet even for the Alliance vessel this is unusual," Liara reasoned, "aliens in the staff. Some do not feel as good about the idea as others."

"Did you happen to talk to Ashley?" Josh smiled.

"For a little bit," Liara was honest, "it was more Navigator Pressley who was the first to make me feel not completely welcome. Everyone else has been incredibly courteous."

"Good to hear," Josh said, then remembered something, "I actually forgot to introduce myself, Josh."

"Liara," Dr T'Soni stretched her hand forward showing her understanding human customs. They shook hands.

"How do you feel?" Josh said, sitting down in the chair right next to Benezia's daughter.

"Not bad," Liara admitted, "your doctor shows good knowledge of asari physiology. Commander ensured me that she is the best, I can see why. I am more shocked by revelation of my mother. I knew Benezia had something in mind, but I would never assume she would work with the geth."

"Is that why you joined?" Josh asked tenderly, not trying to make Liara feel uncomfortable.

"Part of the reason," Liara admitted, "there is also your Commander. She is the first person I ever met to be affected by prothean technology and be alive, that fact on its own is more spectacular."

"So you want to study Commander Shepard?" Josh couldn't help but chuckle at the thought.

"No, not really..." Liara seemed slightly startled, scrambling for words, "that's not the way I meant it. Well, not entirely... I meant that it would be interesting to observe the Commander... Not as a scientific experiment, but purely from curiosity... No, that sounds even worse..."

"Come down," Josh smiled, "I kind of understand what you mean."

"I'm sorry," Liara looked down, humbled, "I'm not every good in social situations. Part of the reason I became a scientist. You'll have to excuse me if I begin to ramble. What do you do here Mr...?"

"Just Josh," he said quickly, trying to skip the whole 'formal' phase, "I'm not technically part of the Alliance... Not any more in at least. I know Shepard however and I was on Eden Prime during the attack." He paused, considering what he was about to say, "I also happened to meet your mother in the past."

"You've met Benezia?" Liara sounded slightly surprised, "as an enemy?"

"No," Josh said, "no. She was working with the Alliance then, helping out with certain aspects of biotics and so on."

"You'll have to excuse me if I do not recall any of that," Liara's tone was constantly apologetic for no apparent reason, "my mother chose not to involve me in many aspects of her life. In the later years she has become even more distant. How was she back then?"

"She seemed," Josh paused, attempting to pick out an appropriate description, "strong... Determined."

"She always was," Liara agreed, "which is why it surprises me even more to see her will broken by Saren. She always had exceptional morals. I'm sorry," Liara's tone wavered, "I am still feeling a little bit uneasy, do you mind if we carry on this conversation later?"

"Not at all," Josh smiled, "I hope you get better."

"Thank you," Liara finally smiled. Her smile had a somewhat mesmerising quality to it, "Josh."

He walked out of the med bay, not knowing what to take away from the conversation. The girl seemed timid, unsure of herself. She had the quality of an intelligent individual, but someone with not a lot of social awareness, probably came with being an expert on an extinct civilization, spending most time in deserted ruins. He thought that Liara was genuine, at least for the moment, many people had a tendency to rearrange their allegiance.

The mess was already more populated than before, some of the staff preferring to have their meals. Kaidan Alenko was sitting across from Commander Stephanie Shepard having a passionate conversation about something. Josh chose not to disturb that particular part of the table and singled out Ashley sitting alone. No one else from the ground squad was around. Wrex preferred to eat on his own, most of human food was poisonous to Garrus, meaning he would prefer solitude as well. Tali would probably be the same due to the weakness of the quarian immune system.

"Chief," Josh pulled up a chair next to Ashley.

"How are you feeling?" she raised her eyes from her meal.

"Not too bad," Josh admitted, studying his meal, "a little bit worse now, seeing that I have to eat this."

"This isn't exactly an asari restaurant," Ashley agreed, scuffing down her meal.

Military provisions were never known for their extravagance, and even on the vessel such as the Normandy it wasn't any different. Even though Spectre's worked with different kind of regulations and Stephanie would have no problem approving better rations she made a point of keeping the atmosphere as close to the Alliance as possible. After all she remained the official Commander rank in the military, and was not about to abandon it or let her crew forget it.

"I wanted to thank you," Ashley said in the break between chewing her food, "for saving my ass back there on Therum. I don't know how I tripped up, but thank you."

"No problem," Josh said, tasting his own food hesitantly, surprisingly it wasn't too bad. "We're all part of the same team now, have to get used to being close."

"Some may be taking it that philosophy a little bit more to heart than others," Ashley indicated Shepard and Alenko with her eyes. "The 2nd Lieutenant seems a little bit more than familiar with the Commander."

Josh studied the two himself. Shepard seemed mildly interested, and appeared to be the one asking the questions. She spoke for short periods of time, interrupting long speeches that Kaidan seemed to be making. Whatever it was that they were discussing he was taking it personally.

"Shepard has a specific effect on people," Josh said turning to his food, "some misinterpret it."

"I bet," Ashley laughed, "but she is good, always stopping by for a chat. I've never met anyone high up the ladder that interested in the state of their troops. She does prefer a hands on approach."

"She does," Josh nodded, starting to slightly enjoy his food. "So how are you feeling after Therum Ash?"

"Not too bad," she admitted, comfortable enough to slip into casual mode, "it was tough out there, and we've barely seen any geth. I expect going after Saren will yield more opposition, I hope so actually."

"Starting to sound like Wrex there Chief," Josh smiled.

"A little," she admitted, "but I cherish the opportunity to prove myself."

"What is it with the constant drive to get yourself killed," he looked up at Ashley.

"Maybe one day you'll find out," she smiled back at him, finishing the remainder of her food. "Anyways, I think Therum was a good start, a good test-drive to see how the squad works together, even though not everyone got a run at it. I am not too sure about the asari, the Dr T'Soni."

"Don't trust her?"

"Not as far as I can throw her," Ashley answered with a straight face, "I mean she is still young for the asari and we're to believe she isn't even keeping tabs on her mother? There may be more to it."

"We'll have to wait and see," Josh agreed, even though he believed Liara was genuine in her intentions.

"No we don't," Ashley purred, satisfied with her food, "no we don't. I just don't like pinning my hopes on variables. I know we are here for the mission and whether or not Liara is not on our side it's in our hands."

"Let's hope you're right Ash," Josh nodded, "let's hope you're right."

"You know I am," she smiled, picking up her tray and beginning to walk away, "see you around. Stop by for a chat sometimes, has to get lonely in the solitary cabin..."

Josh smiled as Ashley walked away. This conversation allowed her more friendly side shine through. Considering the two of them didn't get off to a good start it was great to mend this particular fence. He could see the strength of Gunnery Chief's character, her determination. She was sure of herself and confident, and people like that often ended up having to be slightly resigned and shut down, it was nice to see her open up. Josh found himself thinking about Ashley in a somewhat different way.

He didn't have much time in thought however, Kaidan decided to join him after Shepard finished her meal and left to the brief room.

"Hey," Kaidan sat where Ashley was a few minutes ago, "how is it going?"

"Come to make friends some more Lieutenant," Josh asked quickly.

"Exactly," Alenko smiled, getting back to his half finished meal, "I felt like we got off to a wrong foot the other day. I mean it kind of seemed that I was asking about Commander from a personal interest perspective, I simply wanted to know what she is like, considering we have to work with her a bit more."

"Bullshit," Josh said quietly, shovelling a cold hot dog into his mouth.

"I'm sorry?" Kaidan didn't seem to hear the last phrase.

"Don't worry about it," Josh said. "Look, Kaidan, you don't have to be discrete with me, I am not part of the Alliance, I'm not going to report you for fraternization. If you like Shepard just say so, I'll let you know anything that would help."

"It's not like that," Kaidan seemed to fumble with his words, "I just find the Commander interesting, determined, unlike most others."

"She is," Josh agreed, "there is no denying it."

"Yeah," Kaidan got dreamy for a second, quickly putting himself in check after the momentary lapse. "I think its best that we do not mention this conversation anymore."

Kaidan got up and headed out of the mess, he seemed thrown off and uncomfortable. Josh finished his meal, finding it Kaidan's situation slightly interesting. It would definitely be fun to observe what happened there between him and Shepard. Stephanie was Alliance to the core so she might quickly put the biotic in his place, gently, but back in his place. He felt compassion for Kaidan in a way but that didn't mean he couldn't have his fun.

Josh finished his food, chasing it down with some more water and looking around the mess. Everyone was getting back to their duties and the cook got to cleaning the dishes and the cutlery. It was time to go back to his cabin and get a bit more rest. It wouldn't be too long until they reach Noveria.

MExMExMExME

Shepard walked into his room slowly, trying not to make too much noise, she assumed he was asleep. Josh lay on his bed staring at the ceiling, hearing every hushed step the Commander made. He assumed she was here to spy on him, double check any personal emails, there was no worry however. If Cerberus was to be believed there would be no trace of any controversial emails. Stephanie made her way towards the computer. Josh moved to face her, revealing that he was not asleep.

"Oh," she seemed slightly startled, "I'm sorry, I didn't know you were awake, didn't want to wake you. I couldn't find the ring my mother gave me, I thought I left it in this cabin before being reassigned."

"It's in the top drawer," Josh believed the story easily enough, considering that he found the ring the first time he came into the room, but wasn't sure who it belonged to.

"Thanks," Shepard said reaching into the drawer and pulling out a small silver ring, "we're close to Noveria now, ETA 20 minutes."

"I'll get prepared," Josh said sitting up in his bed, "what's the official plan?"

"Nothing yet," Shepard admitted leaning onto Josh's table, "it's a business world, it moves to a different tune than most else, but I am sure a Spectre can move freely."

"I highly doubt that," Josh admitted honestly, he had to encounter a few 'corporate' planets on his distant travels. "Noveria prefers to stay outside of Council's rule, business rules here, a Spectre is as good as anyone else. They value investors not government agents."

"That's why I have you," Stephanie gave him a coy smile, "I'm sure you've picked up some business sense in your past, if from no one else at least from your sister."

"Good to see that I am important to the squad," he smiled reaching for the glass of water on the bedside table. "How is the crew?"

"Everyone seems to be okay," Stephanie admitted, "I am still unsure about Liara though."

"She seems genuine enough," Josh said white taking a sip of his water, "she seemed as surprised as everyone else when we told her about Benezia.

"Let's hope you're right," Commander said, "and then there is Kaidan, he seems to have an... unusual interest in me."

"Oh really?" Josh pretended to be surprised. "And what do you think of that... commander."

"He seems to mean well," Shepard reasoned, "and he is nothing if not interesting, but this is an Alliance vessel, even if I felt anything beyond a mild fascination it would be inappropriate to act upon it."

"You're a Spectre now you know," Josh smiled, "slightly above Alliance rules."

"I don't even know why I told you this," Stephanie withdrew the topic, "it's really none of your business."

_Makes it mine when Kaidan doesn't shut up about you,_ Josh thought to himself, but chose to say something completely different. "It's your call Commander, you know I'm not Alliance, and I'm not here to judge. But just so you know, you will be missing out on all the other 'hot studs' on the vessel not bound by Alliance rules." Josh made a mock stripper swivel, his sarcastically seductive dance.

"I am sure Wrex will be incredibly disappointed," Stephanie laughed at his comic display, before resetting back to her stern mode. "Get ready, we're close to Noveria, the whole team is going on the ground."

As soon as Commander left Josh turned to his wardrobe, slipping into the usual jeans and t-shirt as well as a small cardigan. He still wore the protective weave underneath, despite the fact that there were a few small punctures around the right shoulder. Hopefully no one would aim directly for that spot. The guns were the same although Shepard promised to restock once they reached Noveria or other populated space port. Now would be the time, perhaps they would have the possibility to pick up some better weapons considering where they were.

When Josh got to the main hull area the ground crew were all gathered, discussing actively the plan once on solid ground.

"Everyone is to handle re-supplying responsibilities accordingly," Shepard spoke above everyone else. "Me and Josh will handle the initial recon and put together a solid plan. Keep your communications clear." Josh could have sworn he saw Kaidan give him a slightly jealous look.

The crew headed for the exit as soon as Joker brought the Normandy into dock. Josh had to give the pilot credit, he handled the ship with care and precision, and was yet to make a mistake. Besides, Joker seemed like an fun guy to hang out with, made one wonder why he never went down to the mess. Josh made a mental note to try and talk to the guy more often.

Once the pressure been normalized in the contamination chamber the crew was let out into the open. Most spaceports were almost always alike, however the Noveria one was littered with crates and boxes, shipments expecting pickup and delivery to various corners of Citadel space. They didn't have much time to explore however, an armed three man unit met them at the entrance to the main space port area.

"That's far enough," the woman who spoke was obviously in charge. She had short brunette hair and a stern look of a professional, military or otherwise.

"Something wrong, officer?" Shepard didn't like to be slowed down and it showed in her tone.

"You better hope there isn't," said the blonde next to the brunette.

"And you better hope you can take me down with just one shot," Wrex said under his breath, but loud enough for Josh and Garrus to hear.

"This is an unscheduled arrival," the brunette took control of the situation quickly, "I need your credentials."

"I'm a Spectre," Stephanie said with high confidence, as if that meant something on Noveria, "my name is Shepard."

"Load of horse crap ma'am," the blonde made her voice heard again.

"Put a leash on your pet," Wrex came in louder, "before someone, and by that I mean her, gets hurt."

"Do you want me to put a bullet in your head krogan?" the blonde got more menacing.

"I want you to try and fire of a shot before I blast you off this platform," Wrex moved forward.

"ENOUGH!" Shepard's orders were loud and clear, "we are having a discussion here."

"Please control your squad," the brunette in charge said respectfully, looking at the blonde at her side to calm her down as well. "We will need to confirm your identity. Also, I must advise you that firearms were not permitted on Noveria." All the while the woman in charge was speaking her companion started directly at Wrex, the krogan casually returning the look. "Sergeant Sterling, secure their weapons."

The blonde moved indicating that the order was meant for her. It was unclear what a small three man squad hoped to achieve, but orders were orders. The whole of Shepard's crew moved almost in unison, their weapons out and pointed at the security before the blonde could make more than three steps. The three man unit also drew their weapons.

"I wouldn't advise what you're trying to do," Wrex said casually.

"Back away," Ashley backed up the krogan, "nice and slow."

"I do not want to start a fight," Shepard said level headed, "however I do not intend to surrender my weapons either. It's your call." Josh could feel the tension ratcheting up a few more levels.

"Captain Matsuo," came a female voice through a distant megaphone, "stand down! We confirmed their identity, Spectres are authorized to carry weapons her captain."

"You may proceed Spectre," captain spoke withdrawing her weapon, her tone drenched with a certain level of displeasure. "I hope the rest of your visit is less confrontational. Parasini-san will meet you upstairs."

"Behave yourself," the blonde threw in the last word, her tone threatening.

"Move out of our way," Wrex made a point to pass directly beside the Sergeant, almost bumping her in the process. As they walked off Josh turned back to see blonde still staring at the krogan.

Once they made it up the stairs and towards the main elevators a scanner went off, violently indicating that the squad remained in possession of their weapons. Shepard raised her arm to pause the squad as an attractive woman dressed in a casual but stylish dress came out of the control booth to meet them.

"Weapon detectors," she spoke, "don't mind the alarms. I am Gianna Parasini, assistant to Administrator Anoleis. We apologize for the incident at the docking back."

"I have urgent business here," Stephanie cut straight to the chaise, her right arm indicating that the rest of the squad could go, leaving just her and Josh to speak with the Administrator's representative.

"One of my duties is orientation of new arrivals," Gianna nodded and proceeded, "do you have any questions?"

"Has anyone unusual passed through here recently," Commander preferred to be direct, however Josh knew that wouldn't get them too far.

"Unusual? An asari matriarch came by about a week ago," Gianna surprised Josh with her directness, she must have been new. "Lady Benezia."

"Passed through?" Shepard didn't like that particular phrase. "Where is she now?"

"Benezia left for the Peak 15 research complex days ago," the assistant kept giving away information, something Josh was not used to. "To the best of my knowledge, she is still there."

"That's where we need to be then," Stephanie nodded.

"You'll need to ask Administrator Anoleis for clearance to leave this port," now Gianna's tone was more of what Josh would expect from a business oriented environment. Clearance and other arbitrary bureaucratic procedures.

"Understood," Shepard conceded easily enough, "can we go in now?"

"Of course," Gianna sounded dismissive for a second, "if you need any help you can ask me at the administrator's office." With those words, the assistant turned and walked away back into the booth, most likely headed back to her post. Shepard led Josh to the elevator.

"That was easy enough," she admitted when the doors closed behind them.

"Don't celebrate yet," Josh remained serious, "I'm sure they'll have us jump through a few hoops before giving up the clearance. We might have to put the screws on the administrator, and in this environment, the only way to do that is with money or connections."

"We're not a criminal organization," Shepard was quick to point out, "I am sure that even on Noveria the Spectre status still holds a particular amount of leverage."

"Let's hope you're right," Josh said as the elevator doors opened to let them out.

The first thing Josh noticed were the security guard, there was an excessive number of them. It was obvious Noveria administration took this seriously. They didn't turn to any specific administration either, organizing their own security force, most likely answering directly to the administrator. This concentrated a lot of power for whoever held the position.

The main area itself was made out of levels, most holding seating benches and fountains. On either end there were elevators to hotels, bars, & other attractions. A separate section led to the living quarters and districts. The architecture was quiet practical if it ever came to defending the area, but also it had some sort of technical beauty to it, a calculated attraction. The big windows at the bottom opened directly onto the planet's surface, white as paper, all covered with snow and ice.

Shepard led the way as they went down to the administrator's office. It was at the bottom level, separated from everything else by at least three floors. The hallway in was prolonged, with the assistant's desk at the end. Gianna Parasini was already at her post, there probably was a second elevator somewhere out back. Josh couldn't help but stare for a second at the woman, he did find her attractive.

"One moment please," Gianna spoke as soon as Shepard and Josh walked into the office, "Mr. Anoleis?

"Yes," can a frustrated and squeaky voice from the receiver, "what? What!"

"Commander Shepard is asking to see you sir," Gianna relayed the request.

"Right, fine, Come in." The Administrator did not sound awfully enthusiastic.

Stephanie made the move towards the office, Josh close at her heels. As they moved forward Josh leaned into Shepard's ear. "Perhaps I should handle this," he said quietly, "I've had a few experiences before."

"Take the lead then," Stephanie agreed easily enough, "but I'll judge the situation from that point."

Josh nodded as he passed Stephanie to walk into the office first. The Administrator would have no illusion of who of the two was the Spectre, after all no one held such a high ranking position without being well informed.

The Administrator himself was a salarian, dressed in an expensive business suit. Everything about him screamed urgency, down to his rapid and uncontrolled movements. The look contained on Anoleis' face was hardly welcoming.

"You will excuse me if I don't stand up?" the salarian confirmed Josh's initial judgement. "I have no time to entertain refuges from that urban blight called earth."

"That's cute," Josh said right away, fighting back feelings about someone speaking ill of his home. "However, Commander and I are here on official Spectre business, not representative of human race. I would advise you keep that in mind."

"Believe me, that is foremost in my mind," Anoleis answered. "This greeting is a courtesy, I will only cooperate as required by the executive board." Josh could see Shepard tensing up, wanting to say something. An Alliance marine to the core she didn't enjoy being disrespected, and more so, she hated anyone being rude or in obstruction to what is 'right.' "Businesses come here to avoid the second guessing of galactic law," Anoleis went on.

"We are conducting an investigation," Josh leaned in, a gleam in his eyes, "it's a matter of galactic security. I am sure some of your clients are interested in maintaining it."

"Yes," Anoleis didn't sound convinced, "isn't everything. I will not allow you to harass our clients. This world is private property."

"Yet it is still answerable to its own hierarchy as well as the Council," Josh pushed the issue. "I am sure a deal can be worked out. An asari Matriarch passed through recently... Benezia?"

"She arrived a few days ago," Anoleis confirmed, "accompanied by a personal escort and some cargo. She's up at Peak 15."

"_Personal escort_?" Josh felt it best to clarify.

"The phrase is self explanatory," the administrator sounded more annoyed now, "bodyguards attending to the safety of her person, mainly asari commandoes."'

_Great!_ Josh thought to himself. "And you didn't find that slightly odd? A unit of asari commandoes administered for personal use?"

"They followed all our regulations," Anoleis was thorough in covering his back, "I didn't forbid Lady Benezia from taking them. Now if you excuse me, I have more urgent business to get through."

His tone was dismissive enough and it was clear no one would get any further from this point on. This man was bent on keeping his reputation and his clients safe, at any cost. Shepard was the first to walk out with a disappointing look on her face.

"That went well," she spoke sarcastically.

"Everyone has their buttons," Josh didn't seem too upset, "we just have to find his. And push it real hard."

"Commander," Gianna spoke as they were about to leave, her tone lowered, "Mr. Anoleis isn't the only one with the pass to leave Hanshan."

"Keep talking," Shepard made a rapid 180 and came up straight to the assistant.

"You've never worked in the corporate world have you Commander?" Gianna asked, "you can't bludgeon through bureaucracy."

"What would you do then?" Stephanie sounded a little wary.

"Talk to Lorik Qui'in," the assistant whispered, "you should be able to find him at the hotel bar. Can't say more, not within earshot of Anoleis."

Shepard nodded, approving of the message and acknowledging the advice. Together with Josh they turned around and head out of the administration. The hotel was a different end of the open area, distanced from all of the business sections. The two of them made their way there in complete silence, only when they were safely in the elevator did Stephanie say something.

"I'll handle this one," she said seriously.

"Fine," Josh agreed as they walked out of the elevator, "just be very careful with what you say. These people are business men, they have a keen ear for profitable information," Josh finished before looking towards one of the tables right by the bar, he thought he saw a familiar face. "I'll be over there, getting a drink."

Stephanie nodded as she searched the area for Qui'in, asking the nearest attendant. Josh left the Commander behind as he walked directly towards the person he thought he saw. When he made it closer it was clear that there was no mistake. Miranda, the Cerberus operative, was enjoying a quiet drink alone at the table. Josh made a stop by the bar to grab a glass of pineapple juice before joining the brunette at her spot.

"Keeping tabs on me?" Josh asked with a smile, "or just couldn't live without seeing me for a long time?

"Don't flatter yourself," the woman was cold, "I am here on official business. Although, now that you're here, you might be of use."

"I thought I was already of use," Josh said enjoying his juice, it was the first time he had one without some kind of liquor in it in a while.

"You'll get reimbursed accordingly," Miranda assured. "Cerberus has some information contained in the Synthetic Insights office, specifically the manager's personal database. It is crucial that some of that information never sees the light of day."

"Sounds fun," Josh nodded, "but I think you need a hacker not a soldier on this one."

"Don't be stupid," Miranda said quickly, "the office in lockdown, the Administrator order it because some other information may incriminate him, he is trying to get it back. If in the process however he gets the intel on Cerberus, things could become worse. If you get it done, inform me right away so I stop scheming.

"And they say rogue terrorist organizations don't look after their own," Josh had a quick chuckle.

"You're so childish its almost cute," Miranda said coldly, before giving out a warm giggle and placing her hand onto his and slipping a small piece of paper into his fist. "Oh, you're so funny, it's a shame you're not here for long. We'll if you're ever on Citadel, give me a call, you have my co-ordinates." With that said Miranda got up and kissed him on the cheek before walking away. Josh turned to face approaching Shepard.

"You're on duty you know," the Commander sounded judgemental.

"Nothing wrong with a little fun," Josh shrugged, less confused with the Cerberus operative's behaviour now.

"Well, it's time we got some work," Shepard said, "we need to do Lorik a favour in exchange for his pass."

"Oh the wonders of negotiation," Josh mused satirically, "what do we have to do."

"Break into a locked down Synthetic Insights office," Stephanie said quietly, avoiding eavesdroppers, "recover some information from the personal terminal."

"Is that all?" Josh couldn't believe that Miranda's request coincided with his current mission so perfectly. "Let me handle it," he quickly ceased control of the situation. "If the lock down is ordered by the administration we will catch heat from Anoleis. If you're involved it will be easier to impede us further, this way you can tell I acted outside of your knowledge."

"Sounds like a plan," Shepard seemed to agree with the idea, "who do you want with you?"

"Wrex," Josh said without any hesitation, he enjoyed having the krogan by his side in battle. "Garrus couldn't hurt either, he's C-Sec, should be used to fighting in tight spaces. I'll take Ash as well."

"I'll tell them to meet you by the Synthetic Insights' elevator," Shepard agreed, stretching her arm forward as well. "You'll need this key code to get in since its in lockdown."

"Good," Josh grabbed the codes, "wait here, I'll return as soon as it's done." With those words he headed out of the hotel bar and towards the business elevators.

MExMExMExME

When Josh made it to the elevator his squad was already there, checking their weapons. No one seemed awfully concerned with what they had to do, assuming Shepard briefed them. Wrex had his usual battle look on his face and Garrus looked calm enough. The only one who was slightly fidgety was Ash.

"Uncomfortable with working without Alliance command Ash?" Josh asked with a smile as he walked up.

"Shepard trusts you," she reasoned, "that should be enough... For now."

Josh smiled and stepped into the elevator, the rest followed. Every confined space seemed even smaller with Wrex around, the krogan taking up a load of space, especially when wearing goliath like body armour.

"So what's the job?" Wrex was slightly impatient, "go in, kill everyone, grab the files?"

"Slightly more complicated," Josh nodded, "but that's the gist."

"Commander ordered to avoid casualties at all cost," Ashley offered a little bit of process from her side, "if we can find a diplomatic solution, we should explore it."

"I'll be sure to ask them where they want to be shot," Wrex said, to which Garrus couldn't help but let out a small laugh.

The elevator opened into a long hallway with a door on the end, as they walked through the final point the squad found two ECRS Guards pointing their weapons at them.

"Freeze," the female officer said, "Hanshan security, this office is sealed."

"We're the cleaning service," Josh said with a smile, "I've heard someone slipped on the wet floor, we're here to mop up."

"Very funny," the woman didn't seem to appreciate the joke. "Lorik Qui'in is under investigation."

"I know," Josh smiled before leaning back to talk to Wrex, "it looks like we might have to clean up those blood stains too."

"What bloo..." Ashley started to say, interrupted by the krogan's shotgun.

The blast knocked the female guard backwards, puncturing straight through her armour and most likely hitting the vitals. The male guard didn't have time to react either, Garrus on him in a second. The turian closed the distance, pushing his pistol right under the man's chin before squeezing the trigger. There was something cold to the way he executed the kill.

"Spread out," Josh ordered, "clean out the floor. Ash, on me."

Josh moved with the still stunned Gunner Chief on his back, it was clear that this was quiet against the Alliance regulations, and Chief didn't approve, but there was no time for that. Two more guards came out from around one of the pillars, assault rifles firing. Josh already had his barrier up, and the protective weave generating a small shield as well. Ashley opened fire, accurate enough to cripple one guard. Josh quickly fired off a biotic lift in the direction, gathering both the guards up in the air, he never had a lift of that strength before, the enhancements were kicking in. Once the two were suspended, headshots came easily.

Gunfire was coming from the opposite side of the hall as well, indicating that Garrus and Wrex came into some trouble as well. Josh led Ashley around the corner, in an attempt to circle whoever was shooting the rest of the squad. As they made the next turn two more guards were in front of them, with their backs turned. Josh moved silently, almost without a single sound. He covered the distance, leaving his pistol in the holster and snapping one of the guards' necks with his hands before delivering a blowing kick to the ribcage of the other. He was on the felled man in a second, his hands pushing the head onto the ground. Instead of killing though, Josh knocked this one out, but made sure his wrist was broken.

"Clear," Wrex answered from behind the corner, when Josh rejoined them he noticed three more bodies.

"This isn't right," Ashley said as they moved up the stairs, "we could have negotiated."

"And got our heads blown off," Garrus reasoned. "If these officers are in the Administrator's pocket they wouldn't run the risk of exposing themselves, that would mean early retirement. These security grunts are good for no other job. They'd have to go to Omega."

"There has to have been another way," Ashley stuck to her guns.

"There wasn't time to find it," Josh answered, "we've already lost time chasing after Benezia's daughter, we can't let the Matriarch get away."

Ashley accepted the explanation, going silent for the rest of the walk. The manager's office was upstairs in the back, with a long walkway leading up to it. Josh was the first one in, scanning the room for any threats.

"Watch the door," he ordered as he got onto the computer terminal. With a few quick hits of the button the information was uploaded into the data pad. He didn't read any of it, assuming it was proof against Anoleis. It took him a few more seconds however to find the info that Miranda spoke off, but he didn't delete it right away.

Pulling his own data pad Josh quickly uploaded the information into the memory banks, and only then did he delete it permanently of Qui'in's computer. Cerberus played a dangerous game and they had him cornered, this information could be potential leverage, or perhaps his first resource to weakening the Illusive Man's grip on him.

Once everything was done Josh pulled out both data pads, putting his own into his pocket. The squad made their way back over the walkway. A security officer, the mouth blond from the spaceport was waiting for them with two more guards. Josh could see Wrex's eyes light up.

"I don't think you're supposed to be in here," said sergeant Sterling.

"Do you plan on making us leave?" Wrex asked with satisfaction in his voice, he could barely contain his excitement. Josh was the only one to interpret that right, to everyone else he assumed Wrex still sounded angry.

"Leave?" the sergeant laughed, "you think I'm going to let you walk out? Uh-uh. Anoleis would throw you off world for what you did here. I won't. You know what we did to cop killers on my world?"

"I'm assuming you didn't buy them flowers," Josh said with a smile, "besides, if you're a cop, you're as crooked as this whole administration. You think I don't know you're here off duty?"

"Blackmail? Don't make me laugh," Sterling sounded amused, "I think you underestimate the gravity of your situation."

"And I think you underestimate the time you have left to live," Wrex allowed himself to say before firing a shotgun blast at the woman.

The squad scattered, as did the attackers, constant shooting coming from all sides. Sterling was on her knee, crippled by the shot, dragging herself backwards. Josh thought it would be a good idea to take her down first before she could recover. Quickly he threw a detonating grenade in her direction, counting the seconds it took to cover the distance. Within two seconds the blast threw the blonde across the room, stunning her two associates.

The squad didn't need any more introduction than that. Garrus vaulted over his cover, pistol on the ready as he came up, precise shots tearing through his enemy's skull in rapid succession. Ashley herself suppressed the second man, allowing Josh to circle around and press the barrel of his gun to the back of the man's head before pulling the trigger. There was something unsettling too seeing the inside of someone's head splattered on a wall.

Wrex rushed out of his cover, seeing Sterling with eyes filled with rage. The sergeant was just getting up, possibly still slightly dizzy from the explosion. Her hand was bleeding as she tried to lift up her assault rifle. The krogan was in a different mode however, he ignored everything around him, charging straight for the woman. Josh couldn't see into the blonde's eyes but her face looked terrified, a giant mass rushing towards her. Wrex reached her quicker than she could fire a single shot, his hand up grabbing her around the throat and pressing her into the wall. With his other hand he held a shotgun barrel squarely at the sergeant's stomach.

"I told you to watch your mouth," Wrex said in his usual, calm manner before pressing the trigger. Sterling's body stopped twitching, she slumped to the floor.

"Let's get the hell out of here," Josh said, "before they get any more reinforcements."

The sprint towards the elevator was fast, without any stops. Josh couldn't stop to think about what just happened, couldn't let the guilt get the best of him. Some people died out here, some deserved it, some didn't, he didn't have time to judge. Perhaps Ashley was right, perhaps there was another way, it's a shame that the world never stopped spinning to let someone fight that other way.

The squad disbanded at the bottom of the elevator. Security must have heard shots and it was not a good idea to lead a four person crew armed to the teeth out of the same direction. Josh caught a glimpse of Ashley's unsatisfied face before she departed. It was no time to double guess oneself however, decidedly he went back to the hotel.

Shepard was waiting for him at a designated spot, enjoying a glass of cold coke with a chicken club sandwich. That made Josh hungry.

"It's done?" she asked as soon as he walked up.

"It is," Josh laid the data pad in front of her, "Anoleis paid off some security officers to run the sweep, there were casualties."

"I don't like that," Shepard seemed upset, "but we had no other option. He is obviously dirty, and so were they. We have had a development while you were gone as well."

"What was it?" Josh sat down, interested.

"The assistant," Stephanie took another bite of her food, obviously savouring it before going back to Normandy's provisions, "Gianna Parasini. She turned out to be an Internal Affairs investigator. She wants us to convince Qui'in to testify against Anoleis. I think we should do it."

"It could give us some leverage with the authorities," Josh agreed. "If Anoleis is arrested, IA will take over his duties for the moment, that plays into our hands. We could also go with this directly to Anoleis, he will no doubt play ball if we show him the evidence."

"I think helping Gianna would be the right thing," Stephanie looked at Josh, she obviously had her mind made up before, just wanted to hear his opinion.

"It's your mission Steph," Josh reacted casually.

"I'll go talk to Lorik," Stephanie agreed, "we need to prep the ground team anyways. Regardless of the outcome the pass should be hours. We'll need to take their Mako, so only four can go. I'm not bringing you along for this one."

"As I said," Josh smiled again, ignoring the fact that some trust was definitely lost between the two. "I would advise you get the pass first."

"I will," Shepard agreed.

Josh saw the Commander walk off in Qui'in's direction and get engaged in conversation. It would be quiet an interesting scenario to have a business man assist with internal affairs investigation. Those were usually closed up and never brought anything good to anyone in the business world. The department in itself was opposite to the definition of business progress.

He reached into his pocket to pull out a small business card that Miranda slipped into his hand earlier. He would have to go and inform her that everything was finished.

MExMExMExME

Cerberus operatives were clearly better funded than the Alliance. Miranda's room was one of the two on the penthouse floor with its own private access. The elevator opened into what appeared to be a living room, decorated with the latest and most exclusive luxury items. Miranda was wearing a bathrobe as Josh walked in.

"You know," she said quickly tying up the belt on the robe, "knocking is still in style."

"It's done," Josh ignored her, heading straight through the living room into the connected kitchen.

"Good," Miranda said, "I'll make sure some funds are transferred into your account. I assume none of the information got leaked into third party hands?"

"Are you implying that I would keep any of it to myself?" Josh played it off. "Where is the trust Miranda? I don't need to keep any information on Cerberus... as long as they pay me as handsomely as they do."

He opened the fridge and studied what was in it. Quickly, the sliced ham, cheese as well as some vegetables, both from human and asari diets made their way to the table and the cutting board. Josh also pulled out one of the many baguettes stacked neatly on the counter, cutting it in half and opening it up to make a big sandwich.

"I believe we're done here," Miranda said, indicating that it was his time to go.

"Yeah," Josh said, ignoring the tone and continuing to make his sandwich, "but I am still hungry. I doubt Cerberus would want one of their spies starving on the job.... Man you guys sure got a bankroll, I mean half of this stuff is overpriced, probably bought at the most expensive shops, but hell if it is not delicious."

"Are you done?" Miranda insisted.

"Not yet," Josh said, carefully arranging the tomatoes on top of slices of ham, lettuce and cheese, "you got any sauce," he opened another cupboard revealing sauces and spices. "Never mind," honey mustard and salt and pepper quickly made their way into the sandwich.

"This is a private room" Miranda sounded annoyed now, "reserved for me. I can call security at any moment. I would advise you to leave and not to overstep your position with Cerberus anymore."

"For someone this pretty," Josh said putting the second half of the baguette on top of his culinary masterpiece, "you sure act like a stuck up bitch... Don't worry, I'm leaving."

"Good," Miranda agreed, pointing towards the door.

"Pleasure doing business with Cerberus, as always," Josh smiled as he took a giant bite out of his sandwich and headed towards the elevator. Just as he was about to leave, Josh couldn't help but turn around and smile, "you know, under different circumstances I would probably try to sleep with you."

"Unlucky me," Miranda's sarcastic remark was the last thing Josh heard as the elevator doors closed.


	22. Chapter 21: Downtime

**Disclaimer: Obviously all of the game characters, places etc. are creative property of BioWare.**

**Okay, slightly shorter than most, but we are moving up to the next major plot point so there we go. Decided that side quests are going to be included only the ones for the crew, considering that the mission after Saren, especially with knowledge of the Reapers would take any kind of priority.**

**PS: May be the sloppier of my chapters...**

**GTA Manic: ****Yeah, I'm definitely looking to bring more of Josh's past ghosts around to kind of show how he went from this regular marine to being able to do what he does without hesitation. I'm trying to still focus on the fact that Cerberus is involved and that Miranda is around for that reminder. There is more Tali this chapter, and definitely will be more in the forthcoming stuff. As for Garrus... I know right...?!**

**Tal'Eath:**** Thanks for the support and for continuous reads...**

**Chapter 21**

**Downtime**

_A man's growth is seen in the successive choirs of his friends._

_Ralph Waldo Emerson_

_All men are created equal, it is only men that place themselves above equality._

_David Allan Coe_

The way back to the Normandy wasn't as long. Shepard was probably out of port Hanshan by now and moving forward towards Peak 15. The administration, or rather the internal affairs could provide only one rover for the crew, meaning only four squad members could go. Josh didn't feel to upset about that. The small downtime gave him the opportunity to catch up with Miranda as well as pick up a few things.

The first stop he made was at the hanar shop close to the space port to check out some new weapons and mods. He clearly didn't need an amp, but everything else could be a prudent investment. Josh browsed the store until he found what he wanted, a top of the line weapon. Word had it that some new tech was in development, thermal clip weaponry, more efficient than whatever they had at the moment. He would have to wait and see, as well as make do with what was out right now.

The hanar's shop had quite a range of weaponry for customers to choose from. Josh picked out the Stiletto VII pistol with increased heat sink mod as well as incendiary ammo. For the shotgun he looked around a bit more finally stopping on the Armageddon VIII shotgun with the advanced combat scanner and combat optics. In the end, he was also able to haggle the hanar into throwing in tungsten rounds. All of that was not cheap but Josh put it onto the exclusive Citadel account, under Shepard's name.

For the final stop he made a quick detour to the market's of Hanshan and found a deli. This one he also put in Shepard's name. From the deli he picked out some meats and cheeses as well as fish and some good bread and vegetables. Even if it was the Alliance way to eat garbage instead of meals, they were going after a rogue Spectre, one of the best. Any meal could be their last, Josh planned to appreciate them accordingly. The last purchase was a 24 pack of beer, he went for the standards human kind this time, settling exclusively on Heineken, his father's favourite brand.

The trip to the ship was short, Josh walked slowly, carrying all his stuff with him. The first place he went was his own room to distribute the beer and the food into the fridge. It was quiet good Shepard wasn't there, an Alliance soldier to the last she would definitely have something to say about his extravagant, at least for a marine, purchases. After arranging all the food, Josh grabbed two beers from the fridge and returned to the bridge, walking all the way to the front of the Normandy.

Joker was as always at his seat, checking something on screens. Despite being occupied, the pilot didn't seem to be awfully enthusiastic.

"How goes it?" Josh stretched one hand forward with a beer in it to Joker, taking a seat in one of the empty seats beside him.

"Boring," the man answered, taking the beer, "trying to get me drunk and crash this baby?"

"Maybe," Josh chuckled.

"Don't worry," Joker smiled tasting the beer, "I can fly this through a storm while on red sand. I know her better than the top of my hand."

"Here's to never having to put that theory into reality," Josh raised his bottle and the pilot followed.

"So," Joker said in what seemed to be his usual, light manner, "I'm Joker, the pilot. You know, the one who flies us everywhere."

"Josh," he answered, with a laugh, "the guy who shoots stuff once we're in place."

"Figures," Joker said leaning back in his chair, "I take you the commander didn't take her on her little run around either? You're the fourth to come back. Ashley, that C-Sec agent, and the quarian are all back. I'm starting to worry that the Commander might have left to chase after that Matriarch on her own. What do you think of her by the way?"

"The matriarch?" Josh joked, "never met. But from what I hear she's a downright bitch."

"Heard that about them," Joker smiled, "something about the asari equivalent of the menopause. But I meant the Commander, you used to serve together. How is she?"

"Got a small birth spot on her left breast," Josh couldn't help but make a joke. The pilot seemed the one to appreciate a light hearted conversation, a change from everyone else.

"Really?!"

"No," Josh shook his head laughing, "or maybe, I wouldn't know though. Why don't you ask Kaidan, he seems like he really wants to find out."

"I know, right?" Joker said, "I thought I was nuts to be the only one to notice that. It's like Pavlov's dog whenever she comes around. Never seen him like this either, usually calm and composed that one is."

"Not lately," Josh agreed.

"I know," Joker said, "I just hope he doesn't get himself killed. He's a good guy, just to gullible, and perhaps too naive... By the way, the guys would kill me if they knew I'm telling you this, but you've brought beer, I can't say no to that. We usually get together for a quick round of poker whenever they let us have some down time. Me, Kaidan, Pressley, Adams, and Norvik – the Reqs officer. You should join."

"Definitely will," Josh agreed, tasting more of his beer.

"Good," the pilot smiled, "more people for me to take money off."

"We'll see," Josh smiled himself, "we'll definitely see. So... Joker, never see you in the mess, afraid of the new crew or something."

"Not really," Joker answered, his tone slightly different, "just can't be bothered. Besides I'd probably break a bone or two just going down the stairs. Got the Vrolik Syndrome."

"Is that the one that makes your bones weak?"

"More like the one that makes them go 'crunch,'" Joker regained his usual composure. "As for the crew, I'll see how they do. Kaidan and Ashley I know are Alliance so they are a safe bet. The quarian I like, the engines never ran better with her down in engineering, she knows her stuff. Everyone else is a wild card. The asari seems humble, but she may be playing us. Garrus, I'm not sure, there is just something in his eyes, you know, the gleam only assassins or serial killers have, call me paranoid. As for Wrex, I do enjoy having a goliath like killing machine on board, I just wish every time he walked by the treble from the floor didn't threaten to break my legs."

"I guess Wrex is out when it comes to poker," Josh said in jest.

"He doesn't strike me as 'play cards for fun' type of guy," Joker laughed, "more of a 'kill things for fun' type."

"Yeah," Josh agreed, "he has a little bit of that in him."

"Plus," the Joker leaned in, "don't tell anyone else, the Commander is a fox. Love being on the Normandy now with something better to look at that Captain Anderson."

Josh could help but burst out laughing. Joker was a guy's guy. Not the one overhyped on testosterone ready to break heads at a bar, but a regular man, the one you'd love to have at all your gatherings. He was quick to point out the obvious as well as comment on most situations in a very light manner.

"Josh?" Ashley's voice came from behind, jerking the two out of conversation, "hey, I was hoping you'd be back. We need to talk."

"Sure," Josh said getting up. He turned to Joker, "looking forward to next time."

"Me too," Joker smiled and as Josh and Ash walked away turned and raised his voice, "bring more beer!!!" Josh couldn't help but chuckle.

"What's up Ash?" he asked when there was some distance between them and the pilot.

"It's about what did, Synthetic Insights office," Ashley seemed slightly down. "I know some of those people were corrupt, but not all of them deserved to die. This is not how it should have been done. It's not right."

"Ash," Josh was completely serious, a complete 180 from the tone of his conversation with Joker, "you think I don't know that. Sometimes everything doesn't work the 'right way,' sometimes shit just has to get done."

"By killing innocent people?" the Gunner Chief was getting worked up.

"They were hardly innocent Ash," Josh reasoned, "we saw them, on the by, working for a corrupt administration. We saw it first hand, I think that's better than taking the brass' word for it and going in shooting whoever they tell you to kill. You can't always avoid this, sometimes a thousand have to die so that a million could live."

"When there is no other option," Ashley didn't give up, "you're starting to sound like what Captain Anderson described Saren to be."

"Look," Josh felt slightly worked up, frustrated, "this is not about that anymore. We're not strictly Alliance, we're in a different league here. Saren will not stop, he will not hesitate to shoot and kill to get to his target, he will use any means necessary, sometimes we must do the same. What would you have me do instead in that office, get shot at? No thank you. I didn't like the way it played out, I'm sure no one did... well except for maybe Wrex. But what happened happened, I made that decision so you don't have to live with it."

"Just like that?" Ashley didn't seem to satisfied with the answer. "It's that easy for you to discard human lives now?"

"No," Josh agreed, "but God knows I've done it enough times, a few more won't change anything. It's about getting the job done. Just let people like me make those kinds of decisions and if you want to blame us afterwards for it, go ahead. I'm not going to lose any more sleep over it, I've seen the way this Galaxy works, we're doing what's necessary to succeed."

"Dangerous philosophy," Ashley said, turning and walking away.

Josh didn't quite like the way the conversation went, but there was little he could do about it. Ashley's view of the world was very black and white, no shades of grey in between. He did feel bad about the way things worked at Synthetic Insights, but there was no other way. Sometimes the universe works in the most basic ways, - kill or be killed. Survival of the fittest at its finest, and survival by any means.

Shockingly though, that naivety about Ashley was what made her unique and interesting. She had a very clear cut view of the world, crystal like almost. Her values were there and they were nearly unshaken, she was a rock. Sometimes that was good, and she carried out every order to the end, even if she later came to question it. Josh hoped that she would not have to go through what he had to go through back on Elysium and the years that followed. Alliance tended to fictionalize it's ideals, make them grand, while all it did was protect recruits from the way the world really worked. Something they would have to learn on their own.

Caught up in his thought Josh barely noticed that he was already in the cargo area, Garrus in his usual spot around the Normandy Mako. It would be easy to use this rover to go after Shepard, but it would take too long to unload the rover let along get it operational without Shepard.

"Garrus," Josh walked up to the turian from behind, "how are you?"

"Wish I was out there," the ex-C-Sec was blunt, "hate sitting here without anything to do. Besides, if Benezia brought asari commandoes, things could get heated."

"They just might," Josh agreed, "they just might. Listen, back at Synthetic Insights..."

"Don't worry," Garrus interrupted, "you don't have to explain to me. We did what had to be done. They broke the law and could survive within the corrupt system. That corruption had to be purged. I've been in C-Sec, I've seen the way it works, walls of bureaucracy protecting the most dangerous criminals. Just look at Saren, the way the Council stood behind him until the last irrefutable proof. They bought him more time than he could have hoped for."

"Got pretty strong views on that?" Josh asked.

"My father was C-Sec," the turian admitted, "to the book. Did everything according to the rules, never went above and beyond. That's why I followed... but in the end, all those limitations and rules only serve to help those on the wrong side of the law, give them an unfair chance. Time's evolve, some books need to be rewritten. You understand me, don't you? Give your past..."

"You spoke to Wrex," Josh didn't sound too surprised, after all both aliens bunked in the cargo hold and had some what a 'warrior' approach to life.

"I have," Garrus nodded, "and that gave me respect for you. Leave the Alliance to chase those who brought misfortune and death, to punish the wicked by any means necessary. That is what we have to do, that is the destiny for people like us."

"It is," Josh couldn't help but agree, someone had to do the dirty things, but it wasn't as simple. "It's also a burden. Looking in the eyes of everyone you kill, seeing them afterwards. Sure, some deserve it, but what about some others? What if one of the officers back there was a family man and he was simply forced to do what he did?"

"Good point," Garrus acknowledged, "but he was there none the less. Everyone has a choice, and he's made his. I'm not saying we shouldn't lose sleep over what we've done, but we have to do those things because of who we are, because we're stronger, because no one else will be able to do them. Now if you excuse me."

Garrus turned and went back to double checking the Mako. The turian seemed somehow distant, but Josh understood him better now. He felt similar at some point when the Alliance refused to do much about the Blitz, but simply investigate. On his own he eliminated at least two major players out of however many and came to know the truth, the human behind the attack. Sometimes things needed to be done differently than before, and that was fine with him, but he was never as cold about it as Garrus sounded, perhaps the Turian hasn't seen enough of what Josh has yet.

The next stop was the Engineering. Tali was busy fiddling with some things in the control panel, checking for everything to be in order. She seemed excited to work on the Normandy and every time Josh saw her, she indicated that she was happy.

"How goes it," he approached behind the quarian, making her twitch slightly.

"Oh," Tali jumped up, "you startled me."

"I'm sorry," Josh admitted, "didn't mean to sneak up on you. Just figured Shepard is out with the rest of the squad, might get to know those who stayed back better."

"Fair enough," Tali seemed to agree, "let me just finish with this real quick."

The quarian quickly banged in a few commands on the control panel, her fingers limber on the keyboard as ever. There was a lot of grace in the way she handled technology, a measure of respect in it. After that was done Tali turned back to Josh.

"What do you want to know?" she asked.

"I'm not too sure," Josh was honest, "just wanted to talk, see how you are adjusting."

"I'm doing alright," Tali admitted, "everyone is exceptionally nice. Besides, this is the most advanced ship drive I've ever seen, the amount of things I am able to learn is staggering, every detail of engineering is amazing."

"Yeah," Josh nodded, "the cost of it definitely calls for some kind of ground breaking technology."

"The only thing is..." the quarian seemed hesitant, "it's too quiet..."

"I think usually that's a good thing when it comes to engines," Josh smiled reassuringly, but he had a feeling that this was about something else.

"No," Tali confirmed his suspicion, "it's not that. It's just... On the flotilla, you can always hear the engine, we fell asleep with its gentle hum around us, let us know we were home. Here, as serene as it is, it's just too quiet."

"You're home sick," Josh smiled again, "it's natural, it will pass."

"I hope it doesn't," the quarian was slightly upbeat again, "I enjoy these feelings about home, helps me remember who I am, and where I'm from. Why I'm here as well."

"That's fair enough," Josh couldn't help but agree, it was important to hold on to one's personality. "If you have any problems feel free to ask by the way."

"Nothing right now," Tali nodded, "but thank you for stopping by to talk to me. It does get lonely sometimes, even though the engineering crew is extremely nice to me they can still feel a bit distant."

"I understand," Josh agreed one more time, "I should go now, but I will definitely stop by again."

"Of course," Tali agreed, "see you around."

Josh smiled and walked away. This was the first time he spoke to Tali in any length. They introduced each other first time they met but that was. There was passion in this one, especially regarding technology. She also seemed quiet focused as well as intelligent. It would be a good idea to speak to her in the future as well. Now it was time for a quick deli-sandwich and a moment of shut eye however.

MExMExMExME

"Logged," the mechanic voice sounded over the announcement system, "commanding officer is on board. XO Pressley stands relieved."

Josh dragged his body upward, noticing that it was becoming quite a habit to be woken up rather than wake up on his own accord. At least on the Normandy. The announcement meant one thing, Shepard was back, and that meant the mission was done, or at least half done.

"Dr Chakwas," Joker's voice sounded over the system, "report to the medical bay immediately."

Now that was not good. Usually the doctor was already in the medical bay, and if not soldiers just found her for major check-ups. Requests such as this one only meant one thing, somebody got injured during the mission. Josh quickly got dressed and made his way to the medical bay, before he even got there he could hear the krogan's voice.

"I'm telling you," Wrex's deep baritone rang through the halls, "I'm FINE! It's just a small exit would, nothing more."

"I still need you to be check up," Shepard insisted just as Josh came into view. What he saw almost made him laugh. Shepard had Wrex's arm around her shoulders as she was pushing him towards the medical bay. Wrex obviously moved on his own accord, but it was funny nevertheless.

"Fine," Wrex finally conceded, "if it makes you feel better I will get it checked out."

"Good," Stephanie freed herself of krogan's wrap, "in the mean time, everyone else, report to the briefing room."

Josh didn't hesitate catching up with Shepard, questionable look on his face, the most she could give him was a smile. They made it up the stairs in silence and when they entered the briefing room everyone was already there, it was quite clear that since the first log announcement everyone was ready for a debrief.

"We've got Benezia," Shepard started, keeping a watchful eye on Liara as she was talking. "She was under some sort of indoctrination, and she revealed Saren is searching for the Mu Relay. On other notes, Peak 15 research facility housed a Rachni queen, I've decided to let her go." Josh noticed Wrex's expression, when that was said, it was not pleasant.

"What's our next move?" Ashley came in, "head for the Mu Relay?"

"The Mu Relay could link to dozens of systems," Shepard contradicted, "unless we know where Saren is going we would just be wasting our time."

"The Commander is right," Liara offered her contribution to the conversation, "we cannot rush off blind. We still need to learn more about Saren."

"Who put you in charge?" Ashley sounded annoyed, "did the Commander resign when I wasn't looking?"

"We're all on the same team here Williams," Shepard quickly put out the fire. "She's just trying to help."

"Sorry Commander," Ashley took back her objections quickly.

"This is a tough mission," Stephanie was quick to let the outbursts go, "we're all on edge. Everyone go get some rest, I still have a few things to wrap up with internal affairs as well as report to the council. We'll head out as soon as I am ready. Crew dismissed."

Everyone got up and started making their way out of the cabin, Kaidan the only one to stick around to exchange a few words with Shepard, Josh didn't bother enough to listen in, it was their personal business after all. He decided to catch up with Ashley instead.

"You alright?" he said, grabbing her by the hand.

"I'm fine," Ashley's tone contradicted her words, "I just think it should be up to the Commander to make decisions, not everyone else. This is not an open mic night."

"Come down," Josh said, "Liara just lost her mother, you're not helping by tearing into her. Besides, she had a point."

"I guess you're right," Ashley resided, "I'm just not comfortable enough with this yet. I need time."

Josh didn't need to clarify, he knew Ashley did not feel too good about being on the squad with aliens, furthermore having them affect major decisions. However, that didn't exactly give her the right to speak to Liara the way she did, after all the asari just helped them take down her own mother. As far as loyalty tests go that was the biggest one. It would be good to check up on the asari while Shepard was away. With that thought in mind Josh headed directly for the med bay and Liara's private room.

"Mind if I come in?" he asked walking into the room.

"Not at all," Liara turned again, it seemed every time Josh spoke to her she seemed hard at work. "What do you need?"

"Nothing in specific," Josh smiled. "Look, about Ashley, she didn't mean that, she's just a little on edge right now. Still coping with losing her squad on Eden Prime."

"I understand," Liara agreed, "it must have been hard. I hope the Gunner Chief knows I am here to help."

"She does," Josh said, sitting down. "Just don't feel too offended if she doesn't show it quiet often... How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine," Liara didn't seem convinced of that herself, "as fine one could be after seeing her mother die. I've never seen Benezia so.... so.... weak, powerless even. She was always strong and determined, but what I saw on Peak 15, that was just.... I can't even describe it. At least I know it wasn't her all those times, it was Saren's influence."

"He seems to have a lot of tools at his disposal," Josh nodded, gently placing his hand on top of Liara's, feeling her warmth. "Look, it couldn't have been easy, I've lost my parents as well, but not like you. I can't pretend to understand how you feel, but if you need anything let me know."

"Thank you," Liara looked up, tear residue in her eyes, "I will. It's... I.... I think I need to be alone for a few moments. Just to gather my thoughts. Thank you for checking up on me. Gunnery Chief is a lucky woman..."

"Oh," Josh was surprised by Liara's comment, "No... No... NO! It's not like that. Me and Williams.... we're friends, not close ones either, she hates my guts and I think she's too idealistic for her own good. No...."

"If you say so," Liara smiled, "she does have strong ideals, on that you're right. Now if you're excuse me, I have a few things to cope with at the moment."

"Sure thing," Josh got up, but paused when he was at the door. "Hey, look, I picked up some decent food while you guys were on Peak 15, if you want to stop by at some point, when you feel better I'll make you some good human food."

"I might take you up on that," Liara smiled again as Josh walked out.

He felt good after talking to the asari. After all, the girl just lost her only parent, and more importantly, she was extremely young. In human years she seemed an old hag, but by asari standards Liara was barely out of her teen years, a young woman on her way into the world. What she has seen on Noveria, must have been tough. It was time for Josh to read the mission reports and patch them through to the Illusive Man and Shadow Broker.

This time he shot a quick letter to his sister, letting her know about Noveria. Any businessman on Earth would like to know about potential investments, and perhaps under new management Sarah could look to expand further. The encrypted files to the Illusive Man and the Shadow Broker spoke the same thing, mentioning the rachni queen and Shepard's decision to let her live, as well as Benezia's death.

For the Shadow Broker, Josh also looked at some of the information picked out from Lorik Qui'in's personal computer. There was some serious information on it, pointing to Cerberus' involvement in a number of illegal operations as well as a few backdoor deals with companies like Synthetic Insights. Josh forward the most basic stuff to the information dealer, mostly the details of the contract Cerberus signed Insights to do, nothing too major yet still worthy of a bonus.

Done with the emails he grabbed a few beers from his fridge and headed for the Navigator's room, it was a private space close to the rest of the common bunks. Kaidan, Joker, and Pressley were already there. Engineer Adams and Adam Norvik showed up minutes later. Everyone welcomed the sight of lager, taking a bottle each.

"Alright ladies," Joker said sitting down at the table and shuffling the cards. "Get your credits ready, we're playing standard Texas Hold'Em for the newcomers. No max bets so go wild. Minimum is 50 credits."

"Slow down Joker," Adams jested, "you might break some fingers if you shuffle that hard."

"Oh ha ha," Joker came up with a light-hearted response, "by the way thanks for sponsoring my next leave last time we played Barry."

"No problem," Adams smiled again, "I intend to right that mistake today."

Joker dealt out the cards and everyone gathered them up. Josh enjoyed this, it was the first time he was in real company in many years. In his travels he lived from space port to space port, always having to be aware for his life. Even when he forged fragile allegiances they didn't last and he had to watch his back regardless. Here he felt some kind of camaraderie, a level of friendship and understanding. From the first look no one would be able to tell this was the crew hunting for the most dangerous man in the galaxy.

"So Alenko," the navigator started the conversation as they were all betting, "how's Shepard been treating you? Any progress?"

"Shut up Edmund," Kaidan didn't appreciate Pressley's idea of a joke. "Can't you ever play the game without being a social commentator."

"Fine by me," Ed answered, raising the bet.

"But seriously though," Adam joined the conversation, "you're with her every time we see you. You must be getting personal."

"We have a professional relationship," Kaidan folded, his face turning slightly red, "I think the Commander is an exceptional woman, a pride of the Alliance."

"And I bet she is a fireball in bed," Joker said, pulling a cigar from his chest pocket and lighting it as he gathered his winnings from the first hand. "I mean the hero of the Blitz, she must be like a wildcat."

"That's your commanding officer you're speaking off," Kaidan raised his voice slightly.

"I know," Joker said, "that's what makes it so fun to fantasize about."

"Listen Kaidan," Josh joined the game, "if you want anything out of Stephanie..."

"Commander Shepard," 2nd Lieutenant was quick to point out.

"I'm not Alliance," Josh smiled picking up his next hand, "I can call her whatever I want... As for you, I'd say be straight, she hates indecisive people. If you bring it out in the open you may have a chance."

"Yeah," Joker laughed. "Just take her hand, look her straight in the eyes, and say: 'Commander, I would like to bend you over the bridge...."

The whole room busted out laughing except for Kaidan. Not that anyone felt disrespect towards Shepard, but it was just that everyone here was off duty, off the record, at least in their minds. They had utmost respect towards their Commander, but this was about making fun of Kaidan, who turned redder with every second. Josh didn't think there was that much blood in human body.

"Can we just play?" Kaidan lashed out finally. "Please?"

"Someone forgot to change their tampon," Joker said quietly, "fine, lady and gentlemen, read them and weep." He laid down another winning hang, a straight flush.

"Dammit Joker," Requisitions Officer said, "you always do this."

The rest of the game went in complete silence, no one wanted to disturb Kaidan who was obviously quite upset with their discussion. He knew that no one meant anything bad by it, but it would still be uncomfortable after what was said. Josh felt slightly bad for the Lieutenant, but he was the one to give out real advice after all. To get anywhere with Shepard you had to be straight forward, no lies, no deceptions.

Joker ended up winning, and gloating about it for about 20 minutes afterwards before everyone went back to their jobs and Josh headed back to his room. Just in time it appeared as Shepard returned, calling everyone back to their posts. Normandy was taking off. Josh felt the Normandy smoothly pull out of port Hanshan and leave the Noveria atmosphere. Once in the air, Shepard was the first one to come see him.

"So," Josh said, leaning back on his bed and enjoying some sliced cheese, "where are we going?"

"Feros," Shepard said, sitting down in Josh's chair, "with a little detour on the way."

"Detour?" he sounded surprised.

"Two birds with one stone situation," Stephanie reached for a slice of cheese herself, appreciating the flavour. "Wrex has something to pick up on Tuntau, and Garrus has something to take care in the Phoenix system as well."

"So we're just running errands now?" Josh was a little surprised at Stephanie's decision to divert.

"Not really," she shrugged, "I just want my crew focused, we're about to go further after Saren, what Benezia revealed was not for the weak hearted. I want any loose ends tied up, so if you have anything you need taken care of, now would be the time.

"I'm fine," Josh said, "so Wrex and Garrus... What do they need in the Phoenix system?"

"Why don't you go and ask them?" Stephanie reached for another slice of cheese, "I just know it has to be done while we still have time. Who knows what will happen after Feros, how far we will have to go from there..."

"You're right..." Josh mulled over what Steph said. "So what's the plan when we get there?"

"I'll take the ground team onto Tuntau," Shepard suggested, "find whatever it is that Wrex is looking for. You'll take a squad onto an orbiting ship, Garrus tracked the signal, handle whatever it is that he needs and then get back to the Normandy just in time to pick us up."

"Makes sense," Josh nodded, "what doesn't is risking some of the crew to carry out these missions. Just gives Saren more time to bring more to his cause."

"I'd rather face more geth than have my squad looking over their shoulders to unfinished business," Commander was right, that's all there was to it.

"You're the boss," Josh reclined fully in his bed, tucking his hands comfortably behind his head. "Just come get me when you need me."

"I will," Shepard promised and walked out of the room.

MExMExMExME

Shepard was already on the ground for 20 minutes or so, and his squad was just preparing to board what looked like an abandoned ship. The Commander took with her the Alliance marines and Wrex, leaving Josh with Garrus, Tali, and Liara. He estimated the overall readiness of his squad, as well as tech and biotic focus. The composition was good for strategical approach, but whether or not they would hold up if the plan foiled was left to be seen.

"So," Josh said double checking his new pistol, "Garrus. Mind telling us what we're looking for here?"

"A salarian doctor," the turian agent was also double checking his weapons. "Tracked him a few years back on the Citadel. He got away, the Council and C-Sec prevented me from stopping him through a number of regulations. This guy was terrible, grew cloned organs inside terminal patients, promised them it was some kind of breakthrough treatment. Bullshit of course."

"That sounds positively terrible," Tali offered her comment. "How could anyone do such a thing, to people who are already as hopeless as can get."

"The worst thing," Liara added, "is that knowing the technological advances there is very little left in this universe that remains terminal. He completely duped his patients."

"How do you know that he's on this ship?" Josh let the crewmates' comments skip.

"I kept tabs on him for a few years," Garrus confessed, "wanted to make sure I get a second chance. He moved around, changed his name to Dr Heart, I guess that's his idea of a joke. Tracked his last transmission to this ship. He has to be here, unless he disappeared again."

"Ready to board," Joker's voice through the PA system interrupted the conversation.

"Okay," Josh nodded, "let's go."

The Normandy positioned itself into place, to Joker's credit everything went smoothly, no one felt even a slight bump. Only when the ship started to attach itself to one of the boarding corridors did the crew realize they were about to board, and a few seconds later, the doors opened letting them into the ship.

The initial room was empty and quiet. No boxes, no cargo items, no staff, there was something wrong with all of this. Josh took point, he had the most combat experience out of all and trusted himself to lead. He needed Liara at his back with her full out biotic capabilities as well as Garrus who would know how to provide cover. He barely saw Tali in action so she was a wild card in this situation even though there was little doubt that the quarian could handle herself.

"It's so serene," Liara whispered, looking around.

"Like the calm before the storm," Josh offered a popular and often overused human metaphor. Applicable to many though, reminding them to never let their guard down.

The second door led them into a conjoined hallway, also empty except for a few containers against the wall. Josh ran the schematics for these large ships in his head, putting together where he assumed everyone could be. If his calculations were right there would be a large open area, either for storage or communal uses up ahead, if there was anyone they'd be there.

The doors slid open letting the whole squad out. They measured every step, trying to make no noise what's so ever. There were a number of crates in this room, good for potential cover. Josh placed his back against one and slid down to the edge, peaking around the corner. What he saw shook him, even after nine years of encounter with some of the most horrific images in the galaxy he was not prepared.

The creatures in front of him were definitely humanoid, or at least were. Now they resembled husks like the ones the geth used, only these were organic, flesh decayed, most features distorted into a bloody mess. Had to be test subjects, it looks like Garrus' old friend overstepped some more boundaries since their last encounter. One of the creatures turned, and paused, staring at Josh's direction for a second before letting out a shattering scream and charging.

"Spread!" Josh's reaction was lightning quick, "keep them outside of reach. Liara, use your biotics."

Without any more instructions Josh popped out of cover and fired three shots at the incoming creature. He threw his left hand up, sending forward a biotic push, throwing three more enemies into the wall, but there were at least 20 more of them. With the corner of his eye, Josh saw five bodies fly up in the air before being slammed violently to the ground, that must have been Liara's doing. Around the fallen creatures, more dropped to the ground as bullets penetrated them.

Josh moved forward, advancing the squad into the open, he needed to see the whole are and make sure none of the creatures lurked in the shadows, attempting to flank his squad. As he got closer to the next enemy he killed he saw a small puff of green air leave the pores as bullets ripped through the creature.

"They're toxic," Josh screamed, "gas masks, now."

Everyone reacted the same as Josh pulled a small breathing apparatus out of his pocket and fastened it around his mouth and nose before shooting down three more enemies and throwing another push at the fourth one.

"AGH!" Tali's voice came from behind.

Josh turned just in time to see the quarian trip and fall on her back, one of the patients diving on top of her. Tali's limber body kept the creature at bay, it's claws and teeth not able to connect with her bio suit. Still, something needed to be done. Josh closed the distance between the two in a second, sending the malnourished patient into the wall with a powerful kick, following that up with three shots to the head. The rest of the shooting around him died down as well.

"Clear!" Garrus notified him in a second.

"You alright?" Josh offered Tali a hand, helping her up.

"Could have been worse," the quarian felt good to regain balance on two feet, "thank you. He almost ripped through my suit, I could have been infected in seconds."

"What..." Liara seemed shocked, "what were those things? I mean, they looked like humans or asari, but so.... unnatural, tortured almost."

"Probably part of Dr Saleon's experiments," Garrus thought out loud. "Something must have gone wrong. If so, he's either dead or still somewhere on this ship. I have to know."

Josh nodded, indicating that the squad would proceed further. At the end of the open hall there was another hallway, offering three doors. One was completely encrypted, the other two had simply by pass codes on it. Josh put two and two together, figuring out what needs to be done.

"Liara," he turned to the asari, "double check the controls, see if any course was plotted and where for, any other information as well. Tali," Josh then switched to the quarian, "check that area for any salvage, medical equipment, credits, data logs."

"Will do," both women said almost in unison.

"This is it," Josh turned to Garrus, "you're ready?"

"I've been ready ever since he got away," Garrus admitted, "this is the time that justice finally comes."

Josh walked up to the door, pulling up an interface on his omni tool. Most of the doors were mechanised with digital interfaces, and most people only bothered to overwrite the protection on the digital surface. No one ever bothered to close up the actual mechanisms, overload them or something. Figures, since the only other things on this ship were mindless freaks, turned that way from some heartless experiments.

As the door opened Josh and Garrus came before a salarian, he had a gun in his hand, but it did nothing more than click, signifying an empty chamber. With the amount of ammo weapons carried, it was frightening to see how much the doctor has wasted.

"Thank god," the salarian quickly put on a relieved tone, "I didn't think anyone would pick up the distress signal. The crew has gone mad, some kind illness."

"That's him," Garrus looked at Josh, ignoring anything the doctor had to say, "that's Dr Saleon."

"You sure?" Josh looked at Garrus, the turian only nodded.

"Dr Saleon?" the salarian was scared, that much was clear. "No, no! My name is Dr Heart, there must be some mistake."

"That's a nice story," Garrus raised his gun to the doctor's forehead, "but I would never forget you, not in a million years. You've put yourself in this situation, through your deranged experiments. And now I am here to finish the job I started so long ago. Only this time I will not be taking it through C-Sec, it will end here."

"Please!!!" Dr Saleon pleaded, "please!!! I've done nothing wrong, most of those people signed up, they had no more than two years left to live."

"They thought they were signing up for treatment," Garrus corrected, "but clearly didn't read the fine print. I saw what you do with your patients, what I found here only brought reassurance."

"Are you sure about this?" Josh looked at Garrus again, his pistol remained trained on the salarian doctor. "He deserves it, but it won't make it any easier to sleep at night."

"For me it will," Garrus finished, squeezing down on the trigger and sending the doctor's lifeless mass onto the cold floor. Without any more words they returned into the hallway where Liara and Tali were already waiting.

"I got nothing from the bridge," Liara admitted, puzzled look on her face indicating that she heard the shot.

"I have some encrypted data logs from the other room," Tali offered them to Josh, "I've broken the pass codes but decided it's best not to read them. I don't want to know what happened to these people, let them die in peace. There were also some medical supplies, I have those for Dr Chakwas."

"Good," Josh said, taking the data logs, "now let's go back to the Normandy."

MExMExMExME

After their return, Joker took a swing around to pick up Shepard. All the way there Garrus was silent, staring at his gun, Josh not daring to ask questions. He knew the turian was questioning his decision, that was always the sign of conscience, but there was no wisdom he could offer to get past that. Everyone dealt with their ghosts in their own ways. Liara once again retreated to her room, probably shocked by what she has discovered on board of Dr Saleon's ship. Tali returned to the engine room.

In the privacy of his cabin Josh studied the data logs. They were mostly diaries, written recollections of Saleon's work. Placed orders for organs and other various biological enhancements. The amount of things he placed inside every patient was inhumane at the very least. Josh read every single order as well, deciding to send the tracking information to the Shadow Broker. There were some important names on that list, no doubt the people who would be ruined if their back door dealings with Dr Saleon came into light. They deserved it, the Shadow Broker would use that as leverage perhaps.

The only three orders that Josh didn't send out he kept for himself, adding an additional stack of information to his Cerberus pile. For a well structured organization they sure left a lot of trails, although perhaps not every operation was as thorough. He knew that there wasn't much here, and incriminating Cerberus would lead to no good end, but tagging them to specific activities, something they wouldn't want found out was useful never the less.

Ashley was the first to visit him after Shepard's team returned to the Normandy.

"How was the ground trip?" Josh looked up from his desk.

"I hate the Mako," Ashley sounded grumpy, "that damn rover almost got us killed again. And then there were mercenaries. I mean, seriously, all of that for some stupid piece of krogan armour, it would be easier just to by Wrex a new set."

"Beer?" Josh offered Ashley a bottle from his own personal stash.

"Sure," the Gunnery Chief didn't refuse, stretching her arm to grab the cold bottle. "We got some time until Feros, I could use a cold one. How was the ship?"

"You don't want to know," Josh was honest, closing all of the files on his screen and throwing the data pad inside his desk. He then reached into the fridge and grabbed a beer for himself. "Warming up to the aliens yet Chief?"

"Have no choice now," Ashley shrugged, "Wrex sort of save my life down there. Besides, I have to admit they do have efficiency to the way they work."

"They definitely do," Josh agreed, repositioning his chair to sit closer to Ashley. "So what now? Feros... Then what?"

"Go after Saren," Ashley suggested, "right through the Mu Relay."

"Why are you always so eager to prove yourself?" Josh asked, "I mean you're always the first to jump into the fire and the last to come out. Why such passion for the Alliance?"

"Runs in the blood I guess," Williams smiled, "got myself a family pedigree of Alliance men... and now a woman. Couldn't have it any other way."

"But you do miss your sisters," Josh kept going, "I mean, you have to, don't you?"

"I do," Ashley admitted, "but they are old enough to take care of themselves, dad taught us well, and I didn't do too bad after he passed. They know what they're doing, even if it is following in my footsteps. They'll be alright. Shepard actually reminds me of one of them, strong, determined, focused, and very idealistic."

"You're idealistic as well," Josh suggested.

"Yeah," Gunnery Chief thought out loud, "probably. But Commander is on the whole other level. I'm more of a tell me who to shoot kind of soldier. She sees everything in its scope, the roles everyone plays, what must be done."

"Not always," Josh said out loud what he meant to be thinking, "but that's what makes her right for the mission. She sees the world in the light, humanity on the rise, galactic co-operation at its finest. It's that view of the world that she should never spoil, but with things we see every day, it won't last. Sooner or later we all pass into the shades of grey that rules us."

"Like you?" Ashley said lightly. "Straight towards killing without hesistation, like on Noveria?"

"Yeah," Josh was tired of arguing with Ashley every time, she had her ideals, he was letting her keep them, "like me. Hesitation gets you killed, I've learned that much, so you must kill first. Sometimes... no, fuck that, most of the time, you will see those you've killed again, their faces when you go to sleep. That's how you know, they're out there, wherever it is after this, waiting for you. We all answer before someone in the end."

"Spiritual," Williams measured him with her eyes, "didn't know there was that side to you Josh."

"You know," he smiled, "there is an old saying about books and covers. Besides, everyone has something they believe in, helps us make it through the day."

"I'll cheers to that," Ashley raised her bottle and Josh followed, the bottoms touching with an audible clank. The Gunnery Chief dried her in a second. "Okay, I'm going to go catch some shut eye, who knows what we get on Feros."

As Ashley got up she patted Josh on the outside of his leg, a friendly, reassuring touch. He looked at the door after it closed thinking of the conversation. It seemed for the first time it didn't switch into some kind of argument about who's view of the world was right and who's was wrong. He felt as if Williams was filling the spot of that third friend right now, just like Shepard and Kamilah a long while ago. Ash was strong, resolved, and loyal, a good friend to anyone.

With those thoughts Josh dozed of himself. The Gunnery Chief was right, Feros was not that far away, and they had to be well rested for it. As Josh drifted off to sleep, he noticed something, Tali was indeed right, the Normandy was quiet, unsettlingly so.


	23. Chapter 22: All Around

**Disclaimer: Obviously all of the game characters, places etc. are creative property of BioWare.**

**Tal'Eath:**** Yeah, Shepard is going around and talking with the crew. I just chose to focus on Josh's interaction since Shepard's is obviously quite prominent in the game. I think it gives me a chance to explore the characters deeper as well. Once again, I am sorry for the grammar, I am trying to work it out but I am getting incredibly busy so my proof reading often feels rushed...**

**Starkiller720:**** Thanks for reading, glad to hear you like it. As for Shepard + Josh, there is a little bit of counter-that in this Chapter, but you could always do a romance in ME2 different from ME so we'll see the way this fan fic plays out as well. (To be honest, not sure myself yet :D)**

**GTA Manic:**** This one took a bit longer, but that's mostly because I had a lot of other stuff to take care off. Way more Tali in this chapter as well so enjoy. **

**P.S. I am going to explore Garrus a bit more in the upcoming chapter, I wanted to give the character a bit of a break after a major development point.**

**P.P.S. They sure are ;)....**

**Chapter 22**

**All Around...**

_Everyone's a pacifist between wars, it's like being a vegetarian between meals._

_Colman McCarthy_

_Aerodynamically, the bumble bee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumble bee doesn't know it so it goes on flying anyways._

_Mary Kay Ash_

Josh made his way to the bridge where Shepard was overlooking the Normandy's approach to Feros. The Commander's stance was solid as always, straight as an arrow, one hand resting in another behind her back. Josh levelled with her, but didn't look sideways, he knew what her face would look like. Stephanie was staring straight ahead, even though there was nothing of value in front of her she was going over further plans.

"Commander," Joker's sudden interruption seemed unwarranted, unless there was something important going on.

"Yes Joker?"

"We've got a slight problem," the pilot made an emphasis on the word slight, the usual way he had of delivering bad news with the skill of a perfect showman. "We're picking up geth readings, a few ships around the area."

"No surprise here Joker," Shepard said matter of fact like, "we've been expecting something like this. Take us in nice and quiet, we have the best stealth technology out there. They won't see a thing."

"Aye Aye Commander."

"You know stealth only masks thermal," Josh commented, "they can still look up and see us landing. Even though we're small compared to most of Alliance fleet, the Normandy isn't exactly invisible."

Shepard turned her head to face Josh momentarily, the look on her face shut him up. She finally mastered that seasoned veteran stare, the one all generals had. It basically said 'say one more word and I'll have you scrubbing the toilets for three weeks.' Josh wasn't Alliance, but getting on Stephanie's bad side was not in his plans. At least not until he had to tell her that he's been covertly gathering intel on their mission for Cerberus. He wondered at that moment how much burial sites cost on Earth these days.

"Bringing us in Commander," Joker updated the status.

"Ground team," Shepard spoke into the announcement system, "get ready and meet on the bridge in two minutes, looks like we're going in hot."

Josh checked his guns and moved forward to the main exit door. Shepard was still on the bridge overseeing the landing. To Joker's credit everything was smooth, as if the ship never moved at all. Only a skilled pilot could do that, and every time they landed Joker proved that he was one of the best.

Within few minutes everyone has pulled up to the exit door, the main one opened up letting them in and shutting before them. Josh studied all of them, focusing mostly on Garrus and Wrex. There was a focus to Garrus now, his eyes staring strictly ahead, it seemed that the Dr Saleon experience has done something akin to closing a chapter in his book. Josh could related to the way that felt, it was that moment of piece before the realization of what was done to come to that point kicked in. He hoped Garrus fared better. Wrex looked calm as well, but with the krogan it was hard to tell.

"Equalizing interior pressure with exterior atmosphere," the Normandy VI squeaked right before the door slid open. "Logged: the commanding officer is ashore, XO Pressley has the deck."

As the group walked out and down the first walkway a human, dressed in what only seemed to be very old clothes rushed towards them, he quickly got Shepard's attention. Everyone's weapons were at the ready.

"We saw your ship," he spoke, slowing down as he closed in on the group, "Fai Dan wants to speak with you immediately."

"What's so important he needs to see me right away?" Shepard asked.

"The geth are making another push," the man answered, putting everyone else back on their toes. "Fai Dan is preparing our defences, but he needs your help. Please, up the stairs and past the freighter."

Just as the man finished his speech a flaming rocket knocked his lifeless body towards Shepard. Stephanie dodged, showing off her reflexes, but the body flew directly at Josh, knocking him down. That was probably a good thing as immediately after the explosion a small group of geth stormed the dock, opening fire.

Shepard took cover right away, everyone else tried to follow her lead. The landing dock was small however, not providing sufficient cover for everyone. The crew reacted quickly, Wrex and Liara throwing up biotic barriers for protection, hoping they would hold long enough. Everyone else opened fired immediately. Josh himself used the body on top of him as cover, stretching his right arm out and shooting the geth from the ground. From what he could discern he got two of them before the battle was over. Ashley was there immediately to help him up.

"Nice shooting," she said as she pulled him upwards.

"I'm always better on my back," Josh agreed with a smile, getting one right back.

"No time," Shepard interrupted that little moment, "we have to move out towards the colony, there could be more geth. Josh, Wrex, take point, the rest, on their six. Move out."

Everyone listened and the unit moved like a well oiled machine. It took not only experience but an awful lot of respect and charisma to move a unit like Stephanie did. Everyone listened, despite the fact that not everyone answered to Alliance regulations. Josh was slightly ahead of Wrex as they made it to the stairs. This was one of the best choke points, and even the geth would recognize this. If there would be an ambush it would happen here.

Josh paused, looking at Wrex and indicating for the krogan to take point. The mercenary nodded and nudged forward, step by step his shotgun on the ready, hugging the railings. Josh did with his back against the other wall, everyone else was covering their backs and looking forward as well. It took a few seconds for Josh to spot the crawlers. Immediately he opened fire.

Geth crawlers were tough opponents, not because of heavy weaponry or tough armour, but mostly because they hopped around as if on drugs. One second they were in one place before leaping to a completely opposite direction, the bastards were tough to hit. It took Josh a few shots to zero in and start reading their movements. Because they were so rapid there was a pattern, not time to trace new paths. As two more moved to a closed in spot he threw a singularity, that should make their lives fun. The crawlers slowed down, as if stuck and Josh quickly fired at one of the, hoping someone would pick up the slack. A few shots from the back took down another crawler. In a minute most enemies were down, squad mostly unharmed.

"Moving on," Josh informed Shepard as him and Wrex started to ascend further.

As they reached the top clearing Josh walked into an opening, immediately jumping back out and signalling for everyone to stop. He then leaned against the wall and made it all the way to the edge, slightly poking out his head.

"Hold your fire," he articulated to the armed guards on the other side.

"Identify yourself," a female voice came.

"Commander Shepard of the Alliance military," Stephanie took the lead on this one, "also a Spectre of the Citadel Council, here on official council business."

After that, Shepard made her way slowly out into the open, walking towards the small barricades the colonists set up. Everyone else followed. It was hard to judge the facial expressions of the colonists, surprise mixed with a bit of relief. They were happy someone was here to help, that much was clear, but Alliance officers rarely travelled with such a colourful entourage.

"Head to the tunnels," one of the colonists said as they passed by, "make sure they are secure. We can't have any more geth crawling in there." He then turned to Shepard, "Fai Dan is on the other side of the village, I suggest you go talk to him."

"I'm off to talk to the leader," she turned to her squad, "everyone else, disperse, scout out the situation."

"What happened here?" Tali asked when the Commander walked off.

"The geth," Ashley sounded angry, "they're hitting another colony. They're practically defenceless here, on Eden Prime they had Alliance and private security, here, they're wide open."

Ashley and Kaidan walked off to speak to some villagers, probably get a low down on the situation. Everyone else huddled in an open space studying the set up. There wasn't much to it, a few houses, a common area in the middle and an old ship to the side with the control panel beside it. They used the hull for it as the main colony hub.

"This is horrible," Liara sounded distraught, "I've never seen anything like this..."

"Clearly you've never been on Tuchanka," Wrex said.

"This colony will fall," Garrus agreed, "there is very little defences. Unless we weed out the geth threat completely there will be nothing left here in a matter of days."

"This is terrible," Tali repeated again, "such devastation. I knew the geth brought nothing but trouble."

"Should have been saying that when your people built them," Wrex put in. "We have enough things like that in this world already, could do without the geth."

"I think we were punished enough for it," Tali retorted, "so I do not need your accusations either. I know what the geth are capable off, they are the reason my people cannot go back home."

"Enough," Josh said sternly, "I don't think this will help anyone. We need to figure out what geth are here for, maybe some of the colonists know, so we wait for Shepard. In the mean time I want everyone to be quiet, we're not going to pieces at each other, we have enough things to shoot as is.

For the rest of the time everyone remained in silence, thinking about their own things. Liara had a horrified look on her face, as if she still couldn't believe what she was saying. When Ashley and Kaidan came back they didn't say a word, but rather found a spot in the communal huddle. It was time to wait for Shepard's return with more orders.

The Commander didn't let them wait for too long, showing up shortly after. She seemed short of breath, slightly tired. If that wasn't enough to judge the situation, there was a small dent in her N7 armour that wasn't there a few moments ago. The assault rifle was safely behind her back however. Everyone gathered around Shepard, ready to hear what she has to say.

"It's worse than I assumed," Shepard was honest, "the geth have Zhu's Hope surrounded and they're dug in fairly deep."

"What's the plan Commander?" Kaidan was the first to ask.

"The main geth ship is further down on the prothean skyway," Shepard pointed in the general direction of the skyway. "The geth have secured the skyway quiet well and the colonists only have one rover left."

"That means we're only bringing four?" Ashley asked, "what do the geth need on Feros anyways?"

"The colonists think it something at the ExoGeni headquarters," Shepard assumed, "I'm assuming they unearthed something in relation to the beacon. After all, this planet is full of prothean artefacts, or at least used to be."

"So they are after the ExoGeni files," Liara thought out loud, agreeing with what everyone else was thinking.

"In any case," Shepard realised that time was of the essence, "we need to split up. I will be taking a group of four up ahead down the skyway to deal with the geth. The rest will stay here and help the colonists. The geth are bunkered down in the tunnels, they have transmitters set up, able to keep the colony suppressed, that has to go. There are also power cells to be recovered as well as water supply valves powered up."

"Anything else?" Josh asked assuming he would be one of the people staying back.

"If you happen to run into any varren, killing the alpha male would help the colonists, make it easier for them to hunt." Shepard looked over her squad, most likely thinking who she should take with her. "Alenko, Liara, and Garrus, you're coming with me. Wrex, Tali, and Williams, you're under the command of Josh, taking care of things right here."

"Aye aye Commander," Williams and Alenko said in unison, everyone else settled with simply nodding.

Josh looked at Shepard as she was gathering her squad up. The amount of trust she placed in him couldn't be argued, but he was also sure that Stephanie was still suspicious of him after their previous conversations. The thought of telling her made its way into his mind again, mostly because it would be worse if she found out on her own, but telling her now could be bad as well. That was something to think about it while they were on the mission. The dangers of being distracted.

"So," Ashley's voice interrupted his train of thought, "what's the course of action now?"

"Tali," Josh turned to the quarian, "you'll be able to turn off the geth transmitter as well as deal with the water pumps, right?"

"Of course," Tali answered, "no problem. It should be the most basic technology, nothing too complicated."

"Good," Josh nodded checking his weapons and looking up at Wrex. The krogan was doing the exact same, when he looked at Josh he nodded, signifying he was ready. "Move out then," Josh agreed, leading the way and heading straight through the same passage down which Shepard disappeared a few minutes ago.

Walking directly straight into another stairway Josh took point, his pistol up and ready. Wrex also had his pistol out, understanding that anything they run into he would have to attack from distance first. Ashley and Tali both had assault rifles, but while the Gunnery Chief handled her with a measure of professionalism, the quarian looked uncomfortable, definitely better off with a pistol, but the squad needed to be balanced until Josh could judge the circumstances slightly better.

The elevator to the skyway was on their right and Josh passed right by it. Shepard was already by the rover, and most likely onto the skyway. He checked his communicator, got nothing. It seemed that the geth were jamming the signal, which was not good. It couldn't have been a simple transmitter from the lower levels. The main ship must have had an overarching communications system set up interrupting anything on lower channels. It was up to Shepard to take it out. They would count on her.

When they reached the steps Josh pointed for Wrex to take point, allowing the krogan to finally switch to his weapon of choice – the shotgun. The mercenary led the way, measuring each step and taking his time to lean around corners. Tali also switched to the pistol, which was more comfortable for her. Josh was immediately behind Wrex, with Ashley on his nine and Tali on their six. He has seen the quarian in action a few times and she was quiet a marksman, an asset to have at the back picking out the more dangerous targets.

After another curb they passed onto the lower levels, opening up with a few geth facing the other way over a walkway. Wrex went first, surprising everyone with his agility and how silent he moved. Josh kept more of a distance, sticking to cover and holding aim at one of the enemies, he assumed everyone else was doing the same.

The krogan was the first to act; he checked his six making sure that the squad mates were ready before throwing up a barrier around himself, next thing was a warp, creating a small field in the middle of the geth patrol, throwing them off. While they were distracted the krogan mowed two down with his shotgun. Josh did the same to the third one with a well placed shot allowing Williams and Tali to handle the remaining two. Everything was going smooth, but it wouldn't for long, Josh was sure. If geth set up a transmitter down here it would be well guarded, and it wasn't as if their current actions were quiet.

They team moved with a sense of urgency now, straight over the walkway where it split, heading in both directions. Josh quickly checked the schematics Shepard dropped onto his Omni-Tool, finding the best way. The left led down to the lower most deserted skyway levels. That could be visited later, the right led into a few more chambers, that was the way to go.

A few more get appeared at the end of a sharp turn, and everyone reacted immediately. Josh stopped watching what his squad was doing, trusting their battle sense enough to make sure that everyone did their job right. He himself ducked behind cover, throwing up a barrier for protection before leaning out and checking down his sights. A few enemies were already down, no doubt efficient team performance so Josh handled those that remained, placing three shots to the head of one and biotically pushing the other one into a grated fence, only to be finished off by Tali's marksmanship.

"That's one of the valves," Tali pointed to a small panel sticking out of the wall while running up to a geth body, her omni-tool out. "Can you please activate it I need to see if I can recover anything from this geth memory core."

Josh nodded, silently giving Ashley and Wrex a command do secure the position and make sure no more geth attacked. The interface on the valve was indeed simple, established for the colonists not to struggle; the geth definitely realized the strategic importance of shutting down clean water. When Josh finished he turned back to Tali who was still fiddling with the geth body.

"No," the quarian seemed to be conversing with herself, "no, no. Dammit!"

"What is it?" Ashley leaned in.

"I didn't convert part of data fast enough," Tali sounded disappointed, "you can't do that with a geth core. Before it transfers all the memories you have to be very precise. Because it is a collective AI, as soon as even a small portion of data gets any kind of corruption based file embedded in it, it shuts down everything around it, rerouting the rest through the other hubs and shutting this one off."

"If geth operate on the same collective core," Wrex suggested, "then if we can access the next one's database would you be able to throw on some kind of interference?"

"Hypothetically," Tali scratched the back of her head, "it is possible. But it would only have small area effects, not the whole collective geth army. It would be incredibly difficult however; the best chance would be dealing with a still active unit, which I do not think is an option for us right now."

"You leave that to me," Wrex seemed to smile, "I'm sure we can keep one kicking long enough for you to do your job."

"We'll see what we can do," Josh agreed, getting a supportive nod from Ashley as well, "but we don't have time to waste here. According to Shepard's intel there are still two valves, a transmitter, and some power cells to be taken care of. Let's move on."

Everyone agreed, heading further down the corridor. According to the map, there was another turn up ahead, taking them into a different chamber. That would most likely be where the geth set up the transmitter.

The next little opening held another water valve, visible at the end. To get to it the crew would have to fight through another geth patrol. The enemy fortified their position well, definitely protecting a strategic point. If there was any doubt where the transmitter was the heavy geth presence reassured everyone.

Josh once again stuck to cover taking out the enemies one by one with well placed shots. At this point it was basically muscle memory. The geth acted in similar manner, hugging cover and providing various covering attacks, but the organic squad would always have an advantage simply acting from their instincts, he had no doubt about that. With enough help they took down this patrol as well, leaving just one geth trooper standing, giving Wrex the cue.

The krogan growled as he put up a biotic barrier and charged. Josh didn't know if geth had fear programmed into them, but the sight of the rushing mercenary scared even him. Wrex covered the distance in as second, one hand gripping the assault rifle and ripping it away, the other grabbing the geth's "neck," gripping hard, and pressing the synthetic against the wall.

"Tali," Josh reacted momentarily, "go see what you can do."

"Huh?" the quarian was still slightly taken back by the wild display a second ago."I mean, of course, right away."

"Okay," Josh nodded and turned to Williams. "Ashley, cover her while I deal with the second valve system."

"Aye aye," Gunnery Chief nodded and worked herself into position.

Josh opened up the second panel. The readings on it showed that the pressure has gone up, signifying the results from opening the previous valve. He quickly worked over the buttons, opening it up as well. When he was done he turned back to Tali. The quarian worked fast and precise, it was almost captivating watching her hands move on the mechanical interface of the geth.

"All done," Tali finally pulled away from the geth. It seemed that was all the reason Wrex needed to squeeze down on the mechanical neck and destroy the last enemy.

"What did you do?" Josh asked to make sure they could adjust.

"I rerouted a few things through the common information cluster," Tali said. "I didn't have enough time or ability to do anything permanent, or long range, but any geth in the vicinity should be affected. Basically I've reprogrammed and reset the friend/foe categories as well as singling out individual cores."

"Meaning?" Ashley sounded genuinely lost.

"That for a few minutes," Tali answered, "at least until the main communal AI resets the geth will attack each other and their allies."

"That's all the invitation I need," Josh agreed to move on, "move out."

All four moved towards the singled out opening over another walkway. As they approached a cluster of hallways towards the final room shooting could be heard. It appeared that Tali's plan worked and the geth have turned on each other, but that didn't mean they could get careless. Josh slowed down the pace trying to not over-anticipate what was beyond the turn.

As they approached two krogan rushed out, walking backwards and shooting at invisible enemies, most likely the geth that turned. One of the reptilians went down quickly, struck by a number of shots from inside the room. The other one only had time to turn and display a rather distorted expression of surprise before Wrex blew open a hole in his stomach.

Josh hugged the wall, leaning out. The geth seemed to have turned on themselves firing at each other. He quickly decided to help the robotics in their task. Three quick shots silenced the firing weapons for a second and gave the synthetics a chance to turn to the new enemy. That is all they could do as Ashley and Tali swooped in and cleared out the remaining opposition, allowing the squad to move on.

Despite the fact that the room was empty Josh was still cautions. There were two more krogan corpses on the floor as well as at least ten more geth remains. Josh walked around them towards the geth terminal set up in the corner. He quickly pulled up the main display, but couldn't understand it. This seemed to be a job for someone more familiar with geth programming.

"Can you disable the transmitter?" Josh turned to Tali

"Absolutely," the quarian nodded, holstering her pistol and moving towards the device.

"This is odd," Wrex said plainly as he rolled over one of the krogan bodies with his foot.

"What is it?" Ashley asked, her gun pointed at the only door out of the room, being boxed in didn't appeal to her one bit.

"Most of these krogan have different armour," Wrex said, "they're from different clans or mercenary groups. Some of the emblems I'm seeing for the first time."

"That shouldn't be too strange," Ashley reasoned, "most mercenaries often agree to co-operate if that means getting paid for more dangerous jobs."

"Not krogan," Josh refuted, having his gun pointed at the exit as well.

"Definitely not," Wrex agreed. "There may be a few that work together for greater gain, but not in such numbers, and not from so many clans or groups. Whatever Saren offered must be extremely valuable." Wrex went silent for a second, everyone staring at him wondering what was going through the mercenary's head. "If we just gathered up like this in the first place we'd be able to unite the clans, maybe even find answers for the genophage."

"We need to figure out what Saren offers," Josh reasoned, "maybe that will give the krogan some incentive to unite afterwards, under their own banners."

"Let's hope you're right," Wrex agreed.

"All done," Tali finished with the terminal. "I've set it to overload, so we should probably use the next ten seconds to get away from this terminal as far as possible."

"Suggestion noted," Josh answered as all four started running. As they made it to the walkway a distant sound of overheating equipment reached them, followed by a louder explosion. Once on the walkway the squad slowed down.

"Where to now?" Ashley asked, double checking her assault rifle.

"We need to find the third valve and take a look at the lower levels," Josh said. "According to Shepard's info there may be a broken down rover there, able to provide power cells for the colony."

"If we're lucky, we'll get the alpha varren too," Wrex added.

"Understood," Ashley was talking more to Josh than to the krogan.

Josh nodded and the squad moved. They backtracked to their first point of entry, through the remains of the geth from their first passage. Instead of taking the walkway back to the stairway however they moved further down the other side, towards the last valve, and what looked like one geth. As they approached they realized that the synthetic indeed remained alone, but it was juggernaut. Noticing new enemies the synthetic launched, but it barely made it four steps before a barrage of bullets brought it to a stop and onto the ground. Wrex delivered the final, confirming blast to the head as he walked up.

Josh quickly went up to the last valve banging in commands on the keypad. After a few tries the valves opened up, indicating that the regular pressure was restored to normal. The colonists should have sufficient water access for the time being. Hopefully without the transmitter it will be harder for geth to reset position.

Josh turned and faced his squad, indicating that they would proceed through the last walkway and towards the elevator. The ride was slow and dragging. Once at the bottom, the elevator opened up directly onto a collapsed tunnel under the skyway. Both sides were covered by heavy rubble, with a rover, an earlier version of the Mako from the looks of it broken down against a wall. Hopefully it would have the batteries needed.

Josh moved, but he barely made a few steps as three varren jumped out from the debris and attacked the squad. Luckily the squad reaction time quickly disposed of the beasts, not for long though. A shattering growl rang through the tunnel, as the squad turned their heads into the direction of the alpha varren. This one was larger than the three that attacked, with its skin a slightly brighter pigment, staring directly at Josh. It growled again and at least a dozen of varren jumped out from behind it, rushing towards the four.

Ashley and Tali back pedaled onto the wall, firing as they went at the agile beasts, hitting maybe fifty percent of the enemy. Josh stuck to the other side, drawing a few varren away and focusing his fire. He quickly threw forth a push, dropping at least six beasts onto the ground, buying the squad some breathing space. Wrex was the only one to embrace the sudden attack, growling in unison with the alpha varren.

The krogan fired two shotgun blasts taking down two beasts right away. The butt of his gun went up as one of the varren jumped, knocking the beast down. The mercenary quickly finished the animal off, stepping on its neck. Two more shots from Wrex and two more varren were down, he was efficient at the very least.

Josh handled most of his share, shooting all but one of the beasts that ran at him, and ducking under the last one's lunge. He quickly turned then and fired three shots and the disoriented beast. Ashley's small yell didn't let him relax though. The Gunnery Chief was caught under the mass of one of the varren, trying to avoid its sharp teeth. Luckily Tali was there, handling the remaining two varren and delivering a kick to the beasts stomach, knocking it off Ashley. Wrex, who already had the animal in his sights, took the opportunity to take it down. As Ashley got up, all four turned to the alpha beast.

The varren stared back, its eyes red, growled loudly, and then charged. Without the rest of the beasts however the alpha varren posted little threat, all four able to focus their fire on the animal, taking it down with little trouble.

As Tali and Ashley secured the area Wrex and Josh made their way to the rover. They quickly popped the external cover exposing three power cells, enough to take back to Zhu's Hope. Wrex looked at Josh, both thinking how they would take the cells up, luckily the geth were immobilized and Josh could sacrifice one squad member for carrying duties.

"Find something to bind them," Josh leaned into the main cabin of the rover, Wrex doing the same from the other side. "Got it," he said within seconds, pulling out a long cable.

It took them around 10 minutes to safely remove the batteries and bind them together, with the common extension leading to Wrex who gripped at three cables as he lifted the cells onto his back. Josh went around using the remaining cable and binding the cells safely to Wrex.

"Move out," he said immediately after.

The trip back was uneventful, the area clear of geth. The question now was getting the power cells back to the colony. As they made it up the stairs, the squad was met by a few crouched creatures, which began to rise as soon as they came into view. They looked almost like geth husks, except they were organic, eyes hollow. While everyone seemed surprised, Josh was the first one to react, taking out his pistol and taking down all four, small green clouds emerging from the fatal wounds.

"What the fuck were those?" Ashley was the first after Josh to come to her senses.

"I don't know," Josh said pulling over his breathing mask, "but I would suggest putting helmets on, as well as keeping ready. Form in around Wrex, we need to cover him."

"Aye aye," Ashley agreed, assault rifle already in her hands.

The four moved ahead, encountering more of the hostile creatures. They took them down without problem, unaffected by their poisonous blood and moved further towards Zhu's Hope. Something felt wrong, the absence of shots from the colony's direction felt suspicious, wouldn't these things attack the colony.

Ashley took the lead on this one as soon as colonists came into view. She rushed forward, her hand up to indicate that she was a friendly. Instead of an adequate response the Gunnery Chief was met with a barrage of bullets. Her shield took the first dozen shots, but the next few toppled Williams to the ground, one of them piercing her leg right through the armour.

"Take cover!!!" Josh shouted pushing Tali behind chest high cover and making sure Wrex followed. He then rushed towards the Gunnery Chief, firing at the colonists, but avoiding any direct hits, only forcing them to take cover. He quickly grabbed Ashley under one of her arms and dragged her to cover. There was an expression of pain on her face as he leaned her back against the solid rock.

"Is she alright?" Tali asked.

"She'll be fine," Josh answered, "but it would be best to get her to Dr. Chakwas as soon as possible. What the hell is going on here?"

"Why are they shooting at us?" Tali asked as well.

"Should we should back is the better question," Wrex looked at Josh, ready for the order, the cells on the ground and the shotgun in his grip.

"I'd prefer to avoid casualties," Josh said plainly, "let's see if we get contact yet. Respond... Dri to Shepard... Anyone.... Normandy." As he spoke into the communicator, the only response that came back was a small fizzling sound of static. "Dammit!"

"We're not in the best of positions," Wrex noted as he leaned out of cover and fired a few shots in the direction of the two colonists, making them get behind cover. "We need to know what do..."

"Ground teams come in," Joker's voice rang through the communicator, the jamming signal gone. "Come in, ground team!!!"

"Joker," Josh reacted quickly, speaking back into the communicator microphone, "what the fuck is going out there?"

"You tell me," Joker answered, "one moment I'm sitting here reading the newest Stuff, they got that cute asari model on the cover, the next I have a dozen mindless beasts banging on the hull of the ship," the pilot's voice was gone behind static for a second before returning. "Shepard is on, hold on." The next minute was silence, interrupted only by the shooting of the colonists and Wrex's return fire. "Patching you through," Joker declared as he returned to the frequency.

"Josh," Shepard's voice was loud and clear, "what's you status?"

"Back by Zhu's Hope," he answered, "but we're pinned down. The colonists are hostile, Williams is injured. What is going on?"

"Long story," for the first time since this chase began Stephanie sounded tired. "Avoid casualties at all cost. The colonists are under the influence of an ancient life form."

"Prothean?"

"No," she answered, "an organic plant, called a Thorian. In any case, it produces spores that control the nervous system and the brain as a whole. The colonists are currently under its influence, protecting it. We need to get to it."

"Where is it?" Josh asked, although inside his head he knew the answer.

"Under Zhu's Hope," Shepard admitted, "ExoGeni was monitoring its effects on the colonists. We're almost back, I've got a special antidote that we can modify our grenades with. Hold position if you can."

"We'll try," Josh said honestly.

"Shepard out!"

The next ten minutes seemed an hour, trading fire with the colonists and fighting off the husk like creatures as they appeared from the direction of Zhu's Hope. Josh didn't know what the Thorian was, but he could realize that it didn't mean anything good for the squad. He needed to take Ashley to the Normandy, she was in no condition to fight, and he would have to fight through a number of enemies to get there.

Finally, the elevator doors behind them opened, letting out Shepard and the rest of the ground team, all of them immediately finding cover, Shepard sliding in next to Josh.

"What's the plan?" Josh asked immediately, tired from the situation.

"We need to make our way to the controls on the other side of the colony," Shepard answered, "it will open up an entrance to the Thorian. You'll take Ashley to the ship, backed by Tali and Liara, I'll take Alenko, Garrus, and Wrex into the Thorian's layer."

"What about the power cells?" Josh pointed to the cells attached to the krogan.

"Wrex," Stephanie turned to the mercenary, "drop the weight for now, we'll recover them when the colonists are safe. Here," handed out small containers to each member of the squad, "it contains a mild sedative as well as antidote in gas form. Attach them to the grenades and set to stun mode. Should disable the colonists just fine."

Josh took the attachment and connected it with his grenades, seeing the small green gas quickly spread through all six grenade chambers. He then took one and looked at the colonists on the other side.

"Let's see," he said as he chucked the grenade. The explosion knocked the colonists down, allowing the squad to move up. Josh was in the back, Ashley hoisted over his shoulders, conscious but unable to walk. Medigel stopped the bleeding, but the bullet wound would still make it impossible for her to walk.

The squad moved on, fencing off another onslaught from the brain dead creatures that seemed to obey the Thorian. At the bottom of the stairs Garrus chucked another grenade into a cluster of the colonists, knocking them down and out, hopefully clearing the path. Once inside the colony, the group split, Shepard taking her squad ahead towards the Thorian layer and Liara and Tali turning left into the main building to take them through towards the Normandy. Josh followed.

The shooting in the distance indicated that the Commander engaged with the enemy again, as well as a number of explosions. Josh hoped that the shooting would divert most of the enemies towards it, clearing the path, he was somewhat right. As they exited the building another small cluster of colonists took cover behind some barricades, forcing Liara to throw a biotic push at them, knocking them back as Tali threw in a grenade. Josh was impressed by the ladies' abilities in battle, he didn't exactly expect a scientist and a technician to handle themselves in battle this well.

As the two cleaned the way Josh followed, feeling Ashley's weight on his shoulders. Williams wasn't heavy by herself, but in full armour as well as with three weapons on her, it was a challenge. Josh almost tripped down the stairs as he followed Liara and Tali who wouldn't stop shooting.

"Joker," Josh spoke through the communicator, moving as best he could, "inform Dr Chakwas to be ready, Ash got clipped."

"Got it," came a quick response from the other end.

The four made it to the final clearing, Liara throwing a singularity into a crowd of the enemies, throwing them off balance and allowing Tali to take them out. The quarian then took a grenade of her belt, the one not infused with the anti-Thorian gas and chucked it into another crowd, blowing most of them off the platform. Liara picked the rest off with her pistol, the way to the Normandy was clear.

"Joker," Josh went back to the communicator, "open the main doors."

Without any vocal confirmation the main door slid open, letting all four in and locking them in the decontamination chamber.

"Stand by shore party," the Normandy VI sounded as the white scanner line went back and forth over the crew. Josh took this chance to look at Liara and Tali. They both stood straight, guns holstered, He couldn't see Tali's face, but Liara seemed focused, if only slightly bit unsettled by what happened, probably thrown off.

"I hope Shepard is alright," Liara stated as the main hatch opened, letting the party inside the Normandy.

Josh nodded, not saying anything as he moved quickly towards the medical bay. Down the stairs and towards the main area. Dr Chakwas was already at her station, calibrating some equipment. Josh placed Ashley on one of the bunks, feeling the weight of his shoulders. The doctor walked up quickly, turning Willaims' leg and looking at the wound.

"Doesn't seem too bad," Chakwas said, and looked at Josh indicating it was his time to go, "but first we will have to take off that armour."

Josh left, allowing the door close behind him. Ash was in good hands now, and her wound wasn't serious enough to be worried about. She would be able to walk within a day or two, modern medical technology at its finest. Liara and Tali were on the bridge, standing by Joker and listening to incoming communications.

"They're in," Joker said when Josh walked up; "in case you were interested. So what the hell happened there? A geth hypnotist in town or what?"

"Ancient life form," Liara answered, "with mind controlling properties. It's no wonder Saren was interested in Feros. The Thorian is an ageless plant, and its mind control properties are beyond compare."

"Hold on," Joker raised his arms, "so we have a mind controlling flower? Where can I get a bouquet of those before next Valentine's Day?"

"It's slightly more complicated than that Joker," Liara smiled.

"I don't doubt that," the pilot chuckled, "but it was worth a try."

"I need to talk to you," Tali placed her hand on Josh's shoulder, luring him slightly behind Joker and Liara, where they couldn't be heard, right next to contamination chambers.

"What is it?" Josh said when they were alone.

"I was going to bring it to Shepard first," Tali was honest, "but after what happened down there, I feel it is your decision."

"You're freaking me out a bit here Tali," Josh smiled nervously, it couldn't be.

"I've intercepted the encrypted messages you've sent," the quarian said with a shade of guilt. "I was taking a look at the Normandy communication schematics and came across a trace of a signal. It was too complicated and concealed to be anything common, so I was concerned. It's no wonder no one on the Normandy detected it, considering the complexity of programming."

Josh was silent, staring at Tali. He knew this moment would come but didn't expect it to happen this soon, a plethora of excuses racing through his mind. "So," he scratched his chin, "what happens now?"

"It's up to you," Tali said, sounding uncertain, "as I said before, I was going to go to Shepard with this right away, but what you did there on Feros, what you did for Garrus, you genuinely are helping. I'm hoping this is not as it seems."

"It is and it is," Josh admitted, rubbing the back of his neck, "I'll be honest, it's complicated, but I appreciate you coming to me first. If you don't mind, I'll bring it up to Shepard..."

"Of course," Tali nodded, "as I said, I assume you have your reasons."

Josh nodded, thinking about what he would say to the Commander. He couldn't hide it anymore, not since Tali found out. If he didn't reveal it the quarian would know. There seemed to be no other alternative and he was already mentally preparing for the conversation. Luckily, there were other things to take care off at the moment.

"You know," Joker interrupted their conversation, "there are private cabins downstairs if you wish. Public secrecy is one of my pet peeves."

"What isn't," Josh smiled, more so at Tali than at the pilot. He appreciated her giving her the responsibility of telling Shepard, of doing something he should have done as soon as he ended up in this position. In retrospect, going to the Shadow Broker afterwards was also not the best decision in the world.

"Long walks on the beach and a cold beer," Joker answered in his usual style.

Everyone else gathered around the communicator and went silent. Josh could see Liara tense as she leaned towards the communicator. Joker was playing with his beard, relaxed in his chair, the free hand toying with Normandy controls. Tali seemed to be looking at Josh more than anyone else, most likely trying to gage his reaction to what she said a few moments ago.

"Shepard to Normandy," Commander's voice finally came through communication fifteen minutes later, but it seemed like a full century, "we're clear. The Thorian is down, and we've got a new piece of information as well, get ready for lift of as soon as we're back to the Normandy. Tell the ground squad to be ready for debrief."

"You heard the lady," Joker turned to the three, "I suggest showering. You smell like a vorcha armpits."

"I think that's your socks," Josh said with a laugh as Liara and Tali headed back to their chambers.

"Very funny," Joker said sarcastically, "you write your own material? You should definitely do stand up... Invite me, I'll be sure to bring some rotten fruit and such."

"It's usually vegetables," Josh shouted as he was walking away.

"Yeah...?" Joker laughed, "well apples are harder, I'm sure they'll leave better bruises."

Josh smiled as he headed down the stairs towards his chamber. Joker had a point, he did smell disgusting, he had time until Shepard came back to take a quick shower and he would do just that.

After a quick shower he was quick to return to the briefing room, where Shepard was already in place. Ashley was sitting down as well, bandages around her leg. Knowing the Gunnery Chief she probably insisted to be in the meeting. Everyone else pulled up shortly. Garrus also had his left hand bandaged up around where Josh imagined turians had elbow joints.

"What the hell happened down there?" Ashley's wound didn't impede her ability to communicate.

"The Thorian was discovered by ExoGeni," Shepard began, "they settled Zhu's Hope with intents of studying its effects. Clearly it has gone too far."

"Are the colonists alright?" Liara sounded concerned.

"Yes, when they came to the control effects were absent," Shepard went on. "The majority chose to remain on Zhu's Hope, and with our help," she paused to look at Josh, "they will be able to rebuild quickly. Most of the geth are gone as well, meaning its safe. ExoGeni will put up a generous 'contribution' towards rebuilding Zhu's Hope as well."

"What about the Thorian?" Josh asked, "what did the geth, and more importantly Saren, want with it?"

"It held knowledge possessed by the protheans," Stephanie explained, "obviously alive during their existence. Saren trade one of his subordinates for that knowledge, an asari, she said she would stay with the colony, help the rebuild, but before that she passed on that same prothean knowledge to me. It's a cipher to understanding what I saw through the beacon... Apparently," Shepard stumbled, her face slightly pale.

"Commander..." Liara leaned forward, "you look slightly pale... Are you suffering any ill effects from the Cipher?"

"The Cipher shook me up a bit," Shepard sounded a bit distant, tired.

"I might be able to help you," Liara offered. "I am an expert on the Protheans. If I join my consciousness to yours maybe we can make some sense of it."

"Do it," Stephanie sounded decisive, while Kaidan and Ashley's faces showed some level of concern. Nevertheless, they kept quiet. "Hurry, we don't have much time."

Both women stood up and got close to each other. Liara was looking directly into Stephanie's eyes, studying her, the asari looked serene. Everyone else focused their eyes on the two, not every day did they witness an asari joining. Kaidan seemed the most concern, constantly switching his position in his chair.

"Relax, Commander," Liara instructed softly, "embrace eternity!"

Nothing seemed to happen for a second, but then both women moved. They didn't change their positions but rather twitched, started to shake in place. Kaidan jumped out of his chair eager to rush to Commander's side but Wrex grabbed him. No one knew what was going on, perhaps Kaidan's interruption would endanger the Commander and Liara. After a few moments both Liara and Steph came back to consciousness, the asari stumbling backwards slightly, Josh the first person to catch her.

"That was incredible!" The asari was short of breath, "all my research. Yet I never dreamed... I'm sorry. The images were so vivid. I never imagined the experience would be so... intense. You are remarkably strong willed, Commander. What you've been through, what you've seen, would have destroyed a lesser mind."

"Did you see anything?" Kaidan was slightly impatient now that he was confident Shepard was alright.

"The beacon on Eden Prime must have been badly damaged," Liara assumed. "Large parts of the vision are... are missing. The data transferred into the commander's mind is incomplete."

"You must have seen something," Shepard sounded hopeful.

"I was able to interpret the data relayed through your vision," Liara assured, "What was there at least. But something was missing... Saren must have the missing information. He must have found another beacon. If we can find the missing data from your vision maybe I can -- Whoa!" Liara stumbled backwards again, right back into Josh who caught her for the second time. "I am sorry... The joining is... exhausting. I should go to the medical bay and lie down for a moment."

"Doctor Chakwas should take a look at you," Josh suggested.

"That will not be necessary," Liara assured him. "I just need some rest. Somewhere quiet."

"We're done here," Shepard turned to the rest of the squad, "Dismissed. Josh, help Dr T'Soni to the medical bay."

"That is not necessary," Liara insisted.

"That is not negotiable. And Ash, go back and get some rest in the med bay as well. That's an order," Shepard smiled and turned to the communication system, most likely getting ready to report to the Council again.

Josh led Liara out of the room, catching Tali looking in his direction again. He nodded, trying to reassure the quarian that he would talk to Shepard himself, when the time was appropriate, probably when they were en route to the next destination. Shepard won't space him, but it wouldn't be beyond her to leave him on shore, so that timing would guarantee involvement in the next mission.

Ashley fell in beside them, limping down to the medical bay. She smiled as they levelled and rushed ahead. Liara was walking on her own, but he wanted to see her through all the way to the bay doors, as they closed behind the asari Josh turned to go to his own room. He needed to prepare for his conversation with Shepard. He could feel the Normandy pull out of the dock and fly off, Joker most likely taking it to the next point, it would be some time until they hit the mass relay, there was time to rest and think. Josh fell into his bed as soon as his room door opened.

MExMExMExME

A knock on the frame of the door woke him, Ashley was standing in the doorway with a bottle of whiskey in one hand and two glasses on the other. "Care to join me for a drink?" she asked.

"Well," Josh rubbed his temples, "since you woke me up... Whiskey? My kind of woman."

"We will need some ice with that," Ashley smiled handing glasses to Josh who reached into his mini fridge pulling out a few cubes and dropping them into the glasses.

"So," he reached for the bottle and poured it over ice into both glasses, "what is the special occasion?"

"It's Armistice Day," Ashley smiled, accepting her full glass now and raising it up to clank with Josh's, "when the First Contact War ended. My family always marks it," she enjoyed a small sip of the whiskey, as did Josh. It was good and went down smoothly, definitely well aged. "Since I'm the only Williams aboard I thought I'd ask someone."

"It's not even a round date," Josh thought out loud, "seems like an odd thing to celebrate."

"In our family it's not really a celebration," Ashley confessed, "more like an obligation."

"Sounds heavy," Josh brought the glass to his lips again.

"I'm General Williams' granddaughter," Ashley sounded as if she was revealing a secret, "Commander of the Shanxi garrison in the war...." Josh stared at Ashley blankly, he never really paid much attention in that part of Alliance history. "The only human to surrender to an alien race?"

"That explains why you're always so eager to get yourself killed," Josh said with a mock seriousness, "right his wrongs? You can't be blamed for what your grandfather did," he added completely serious now.

"Not formally," Ashley seemed to be more reserved now, talking about something that mattered to her. "Dad got passed for a promotion over and over. And I think my record merits more than garrison duty in the backwater agro colony. Takes a special kind of think headed person to march into a job where your family is blacklisted."

"Yet here you are," Josh was a little surprised now, although a lot of things about Ashley came to the surface with that revelation.

"I am not going to let our name go down with Arnold and Quizling," Ashley said resentfully, "my grand dad deserved better than that," she took another drink, slumping into the chair.

Josh got up and walked over to where Williams was sitting, placing his hands on her shoulders. "It's not your fault," he said reassuringly, "you cannot be blamed for what happened to your grandfather, besides, what he did saved lives. You think he would want you endangering yourself for no other reason?"

"I need to be stronger," Ashley said quietly, as much to herself as to Josh, "you don't understand. The name Willaims will always have that behind it, unless someone changes it. It has to be me."

"And you are," Josh agreed, bringing Ashley closer, "one step at a time. You're on the best vessel in the Alliance, and perhaps the most advanced in Citadel Space, serving under the_ first_ human Spectre, chasing after a threat to all galactic existence. I think this goes far beyond proving that a Williams is capable."

Ashley smiled, bringing her left arm to squeeze his on her shoulder. Josh smiled back leaning in closer and putting her into a full out embrace from behind. She held his arms as well as they were breathing almost in unison as the cabin went silent. Slowly, she turned to face him and their eyes met. He didn't know what was going through his mind let alone hers at the moment. Tania's face flashed up before him for a second, but it wasn't condemning, it was serene, pleased, he was moving on after nine years.

Ashley was first to lean forward, inviting him to do the same with her posture. Their lips touched as their hands wrapped around each other. She quickly sprung her feet, pushing herself off the chair and onto Josh's bed, pulling him with her. They remained there, in each other's embrace, hands moving with purpose, removing most of their clothes. He could feel her so close to him, so open, something he never saw in Ashley before. Her eyes, for the first time, they weren't full of something distant, but they were soft, even vulnerable at moments. Josh embraced her one more time.

MExMExMExME

Ashley was still peacefully lying in his bed, eyes closed, one hand under the pillow. Josh tried not to move too suddenly as he covered her nude body with a blanket. It carefully touched the contours of her body, lying against her skin perfectly. Josh gave the Gunner Chief one more look before he headed out of the door.

Shepard was in her private chambers, Kaidan sitting across from here, they were talking about something, consumed by the conversation. Josh knocked, interrupting. Lieutenant Alenko looked startled and slightly embraced, quickly taking his hand of Shepard's. It appeared that Josh and Ashley were not the only ones getting too close.

"I need to talk to you," Josh looked at Shepard before turning his gaze to Kaidan and adding, "in private."

"If you need me I'll be in the mess Commander," Kaidan saluted before exiting. Josh looked at the 2nd Lieutenant leave out of the door before turning back to Shepard and raising one eyebrow with a smile on his face.

"Not a word," Shepard raised her finger towards him, struggling to contain her own smile. "What do you need to talk to me about anyways? Shouldn't you be getting some rest before we reach Virmire?"

"Is that where we're headed?" Josh asked sitting down.

"Sure is," Stephanie reached for a glass of water on her bedside table, "the Council received a transmission from one of their salarian STG units. They were gathering intel on Saren when the communication channels went dead. A distress call was the last thing received."

"Could be serious," Josh agreed, "STG units are well trained and are exceptional at recon. If they sent out a distress signal, they must really have found something significant."

"I know," Shepard said, setting her glass back down. "Now, back to your little visit... What do you need to discuss?"

"This is going to be hard," Josh admitted, trying to gather the strength inside him. "... I haven't been completely honest with you... Back then... When you asked me about my amplifier as well as the stuff in my blood."

"I assumed as much," Stephanie nodded, leaning closer.

"You're not going to like what's next," Josh warned her.

"We already have trust issues after the last time," commander said, "I appreciate the fact that you chose to reveal something to me now, assuming you had your reasons."

"They threatened Sarah," Josh said quietly, genuinely regretful, "and Kamilah as well."

"Who?" Shepard leaned closer.

"Here," Josh slid the data pad towards Shepard, allowing her to pick it up and read it, not finding the strength to say it himself, or to even look up and face Stephanie for the moment.

Shepard studied the data pad with interest, a concerned expression on her face. Josh could trace her pupils moving with the text, clearly reading every word. The look of concern slowly grew into measured anger.

"How long?" She asked.

"How long what?"

"This! How long have you been dealing with this bullshit," she threw the data pad on the ground and stood up. "Revealing information on our mission to Cerberus and the Shadow Broker."

"Since the Citadel," Josh admitted, "it's all there... They left me no choice... Cerberus didn't... I went to the Shadow Broker in hope to find some kind of an exit out of this, maybe finding something that would allow me to break away from Cerberus' threats."

"Shadow Broker and not me?" Shepard sounded insulted. "Why in the world Josh? Were you even thinking straight? This could compromise a lot of things!!!"

"I wasn't," he snapped, at himself and not Shepard, but his voice still rising. "What would you do? They threatened my family, the one of my two only friends. Should I have refused? Got Sarah shot? Perhaps Kamilah along with her? That sound about right?"

"You should have told me," Stephanie was fuming. "How do you expect me to trust you after this? What else are you hiding? They give you a tracking device to keep tabs on me? Audio recordings? What?!"

"I don't know," Josh raised his voice as well. "You had Chakwas scan me, I'm assuming its everything she said, nothing more. I don't even fucking know. One thing I'm on the Citadel having a few drinks in the wards and the next I wake on some operating table, fuck knows where... You think I volunteered? Waited in line to put my name down on the 'please betray your friends for us' list?"

"Why now," Shepard seemed to come down a bit. "Why are you telling me this now."

"Because..." Josh went quiet as well, "because Tali picked up the transmissions. She was going to tell you but I asked that it was me."

"So..." Stephanie looked him in the eyes, "if she didn't find out about this I wouldn't know either."

"No..." Josh admitted, "Not yet at least..."

"You expect me to trust you after this?" Stephanie was direct now, there was a little bit of moisture in her eyes but her tone remained unshaken.

"No," Josh was honest, "I actually expect you to drop me on the next planet we come across, but hope to God you do not. I want to help here... Look I wasn't jeopardizing the mission... I would never give away any crucial information... I was just doing this until I could find a way out..."

"I need to think," Shepard looked at the data pads and picked them up. "From this point on, anything you report goes through me... My approval, I'm double checking that you do not reveal anything beyond what can be found out by other channels. Understood?"

"Yes," Josh nodded quietly.

"Good," Shepard said studying the data pad again. "Now go write the next report... wouldn't want to make Cerberus unhappy now..." there was venom in her words.

"Stephanie," Josh said softly, trying to come up with something in his head, something to make this better for the time being.

"Not now," she was distant, "not now Josh. I need to digest all of this... I appreciate that you came to me, I really do, but it doesn't change some of the circumstances. I need to think... In the meanwhile, go write the report and send it through me, I will transmit it to them through your inscription after editing the information... And.... Get ready for Virmire..."

Josh got up and started to walk out. At this moment he wished she spaced him, put him out of his misery, because this was worse than that. He felt guilt, eating away at him now more than ever. Seeing Stephanie's eyes didn't help, she looked hurt at first, quick to hide, but not to conceal it completely. He knew that too. Most of their trust was gone, and it would have to be a new foundation they built the future friendship, if there was any left in her, upon. Halfway to his room he stopped, pressing his back against the wall, body sagging to the floor. Josh buried his head in his knees and went silent...


	24. Chapter 23: Compromise

**Disclaimer: Obviously all of the game characters, places etc. are creative property of BioWare.**

**WHEW!!! This was a hell of a chapter to write. Just in case there is any complaints about the decision... I didn't 'decide' until the last moment... **

**Also, this is kind of IMPORTANT: after the part of ME1 is neatly wrapped up, I think the next part of this will continue as Mass Effect: Shadows 2, a separate fan fiction, for which the link will be posted in the end.**

**0756:**** I do try to work on the grammar a bit more, but as I said before, I can't often dedicate sufficient time to it due to external issues. I'll definitely be more attentive with details like the ones you mentioned. **

**Athanor:**** Here it is...**

**GTA Manic:**** That was one of the issues, I didn't want to break up the flow with throwing everything of balance just to tie loose ends around Josh. The transition into ME2 after this will be roughly the same in Shadows 2 when I finally finish this one off... it's not that far off now.**

**PPS: Considering that Virmire potentially eliminates one side of one of those pairings, I'll try to do something for the other one, at least as far as ME2 goes.**

**Tal'Eath:**** And it is Virmire :D.**

**Chapter 23**

**Compromise**

_He who does not trust enough, will not be trusted._

_Lao Tzu_

_A sacrifice is best refuted by accepting it._

_Wilhelm Steinitz_

"I've sent off those reports," Shepard stood in his doorway, looking somewhat tired, "after double checking them. If that's all you've been sending then it's good to see that you still have some sort of personal pride."

Josh looked up, not appreciating the joke. He couldn't look into his own eyes but imagined that they gave the impression of defeat. He was tired, tired from hiding secrets and always appealing to someone's ulterior motives. It was good Shepard knew about what happened to him, even if that put a significant dent in their relationship as friends.

Josh studied the Commander as well. Stephanie looked a bit tired and beat down, more so than before. She usually maintained some sort of up-beat essence to her, always ready to fight for her cause, for what she thought was right. It wasn't the enemies that got to her often though, it were things like these, something she thought was under control. Josh felt bad for being the one to bring this feeling around this time.

"Are you serious in your second report however?" Stephanie asked, moving into the room. "I mean that seems kind over exaggerated to just try and prove to me that you're still trustworthy."

"It needs to be done," Josh nodded, referring to his report to the Shadow Broker and declaring to the information agent that he would no longer relay information. It wasn't a problem getting out of that job however, considering it was voluntary to begin with. "I'm not trying to prove anything, I knew I was wrong doing what I did from the start. If you think I felt good about it...."

"I don't," Shepard agreed, "but I still don't appreciate being lied to. Especially about something like this. Look... Josh. I've lost my parents when I was young as well, you know that... And, I've never had a sibling, older or younger, but I can imagine carrying for him or her very much if that was the case. I understand why you did it, but it doesn't mean that we can go pretending that you didn't do it... At least for the time being."

"So what happens now?"

"We will see," Stephanie had a thing for being brutally honest. "I can't tell you to stop sending anything considering the threats they made, and I can't divert to look into this situation, but I whatever trust I have left in you will have to do. You've done good on Therum, Noveria, and Feros. I need every bit of help I can get right now. Besides, judging from those reports you've not given out anything that could compromise the mission or its participants..." Shepard paused to give him time for digesting the information. "You do not get to lead the second ground team anymore and answer directly to me."

Josh looked up, not attempting to deny the judgement, although Stephanie seemed to interpret it as such.

"You can't report on something you were not a part of," she appeared to display a hint of a smile, "even the Illusive Man must realize that..." She turned to start walking away, before swinging around again, "Oh, and it goes without saying that anything you send goes directly through me."

With those words she left the room, leaving Josh alone with the thoughts in his head. He thought he got off easy, considering the circumstances and Cerberus' reputation. Stephanie appeared to be making the most of a bad situation however. She did need another soldier, someone to fight, even if she couldn't completely trust him. After all, Wrex's motivations were never as clear either, and Garrus' behaviour left something to be desired. Now, Josh wasn't any different either.

The nature of their friendship however has changed. Stephanie was not the one to tolerate lies and deception. An Alliance marine, she always preferred to deal with issues directly, no matter how complicated they may be. Feeling bad for himself wouldn't exactly fix the situation however. Josh got and walked out of his cabin.

The lift downstairs was slow, and seemed to drag on for ages. For a man who is not too pleased with the idea of being alone with his thoughts, such silence is the worst place to be caught in. When the doors finally opened Josh was released into the cargo area of the Normandy. He didn't notice anyone giving him a sideways glance, probably because Shepard wouldn't drag what he confessed to out in the open. The Commander was a prudent person, and she needed all her personnel ready to back each other up. As it stood, only her and Tali knew of Josh's betrayal, and more than likely it would stay that way.

"How are you feeling?" Josh walked up to Ashley, gently placing one of his hands around her waist, not too conspicuous about it either.

"Good," Ashley smiled as her hand went down to take his off her body, "better than before."

"I'd like to say I had a part to do with that," Josh forced a smile on his face, acting as natural as possible.

"In a way," Ashley turned around to face him, springing up to sit on the weapon's table, "but don't give yourself too much credit there. Not a positive trait. Thanks for leaving me alone in your cabin by the way, that was a great thing."

"I figured you can take care of yourself," Josh smiled, "a strong Alliance woman like you."

"So considerate," Ashley jested again, her foot lightly hitting his and sliding along his thigh for a second, "a real gentleman.... Look, about that..." Ashley stumbled for words for a second, changing from playful to serious in a matter of moments. "I don't want anyone to know... At least for now... I like you, I really do, but we have this to take care of first. Saren, the geth, everything in between. I just feel like both of us have to stay focused on this."

"Okay," Josh felt a little confused, but he did understand where Ashley was coming from, just not the sudden nature of it. "I agree with you," he nodded, "it's just... It's been a while since I've felt as close to someone as I do to..."

"No," Ashley interrupted him, "not now. I know where you're coming from, and, believe me, I'm there. Just don't say these things now or here... If you really mean it, if we both do, and if were really want to hear them said out loud we'll just both have to survive this."

"You've got yourself a very interesting agreement," Josh smiled, and tilted his head forward, not looking for anything in return. Ashley jerked herself towards him suddenly, hopping off the table and bringing their bodies closer. All of that 'anonymity' she spoke seconds ago was discarded for the brief moment their lips touched. When they came apart there was a smile on her face.

"We'll just have to live through all of this now," Ashley smiled, "soldier..." With that she turned and went back to her work, checking all the weapons and calibrating the upgrades so they worked properly, leaving Josh standing still.

After a few moments of being surprised by the Gunnery Chief's actions however, Josh turned and walked forward. He saw Garrus and Wrex talking about something in the different end of the cargo hold. The two aliens seemed consumed by the conversation and most likely didn't see the exchange that took place opposite them, probably for the best.

"It is the strength of our opponents that the krogan's are judged by," Josh heard Wrex as soon as he was within an earshot of the mercenary.

"A philosophy I truly understand," Garrus chuckled, rubbing his chin. He noticed Josh and turned, "well, Josh, decided to join us down here?"

"What are you guys talking about?" Josh asked, intrigued slightly.

"The meaning of life for some," Garrus joked, "a simple philosophical argument for others."

"Sounds deep," Josh raised his eyebrows and looked at Wrex with a comically questionable glance, "really something to discuss when hunting for the most dangerous criminal in the Galaxy?"

"Too much free time," Wrex complained, "nothing else to do. That is the problem with a lot of vessels, why not set up a shooting chamber? Or a fighting den?"

"Civility?" Josh chuckled.

"Poor engineering," Wrex retorted quickly, both laughed.

"I think we're getting close though," Garrus commented, "to Saren, I mean. First Noveria and then Feros. We now know what he knows, what he is after. He has to be aware of that, we've got him right where we want him."

"I hope you're right," Josh nodded, considering everything that has happened since Eden Prime.

"We are within reach," Wrex agreed, "and just a few more steps away from the killing blow."

"We have to be," Garrus went on, "there is no other option. I just hope the Commander is strong enough to do what is necessary. There can be no moment for weakness when it comes to Saren..."

"What do you mean?" Josh understood where Garrus was coming from, but there was something else behind that voice, something bitter.

"She cannot hesitate," Garrus began to explain, "Saren must be killed, wherever and whenever we catch up to him. Allowing this matter to return to the Council may change the matters. You've seen how long they protected him against the clear evidence of his corruption, how long they remained on his side."

"Diplomacy is the weakness of the Citadel," Wrex nodded, "quite often there is no space for such things. At roots we are still primitive beings and must settle our conflicts accordingly."

"It is not always the case," Josh was talking more to Garrus than to Wrex, "but in this circumstance I agree, Saren must be put down."

"Good," Garrus nodded, "now I must go double check my equipment, we cannot be far from Virmire."

"He's got a passion for combat that one," Wrex looked at Garrus' back, "but it is often misguided by wrong ideals."

Josh looked at the krogan, confused.

"I believe that your diplomatic and political infrastructure works," Wrex went on, "it is what holds everything together, away from conflict. It is the system not without its faults, but it they are faults which we must sometimes accept because there is no better alternative. Garrus is too idealistic, he thinks too much of his 'justice.' It has driven him cold and distant, disconnected with things at times."

"Is that the problem with the krogan?" Josh ignored the bit about the turian, "the absence of a diplomatic frame work?"

"The problem with the krogan," Wrex said angrily, "is living in the shadows of past glories. I understand the necessary respect for the culture, but we cannot go on living in the stone age. Even the Earth's Vikings outgrew their purpose; we are slowly getting there, the genophage is just speeding up the process."

"Perhaps they simply need a leader that can bring about the change you speak of," Josh suggested.

"Let's hope you're right."

"Approaching Mass Relay," Joker's voice came through the speakers, "ETA from Virmire, roughly thirty minutes."

"Better go get ready then," Wrex said, turning and walking away, Josh thought it best to follow the krogan's example and head for the elevator.

MExMExMExME

Josh moved up to the bridge, everyone else already gathered and fully equipped. Shepard stood up above most in her N7 armour and weaponry ready. Josh had his usual weapons, a pistol and a shotgun. In addition he decided it may be useful to bring the geth rocket launcher that he picked up on Therum and left largely unused until this point. It was heavy on his shoulders and slowed down the movement, but it could come in handy now. For the time being, he put it down on one of the side terminals.

"Commander," Joker's voice came through the communicator, "I'm reading a signal. Must be our salarian infiltration team."

"Check out those defence towers," Kaidan was reading the scans, but Josh could easily tell the same simply through looking outside. Those structures couldn't possibly be anything else.

"Drop the Mako," Shepard instructed, "we'll go in hot and take them out." She turned took her finger off the communicator button and turned to her squad. "Garrus, Liara, and Ashley, get down to the Mako on the double. We're going in to take out the geth. Kaidan, you're in charge of the second ground squad. As soon as the defence towers are down zero in on the salarian distress call and take the crew onto the ground."

"Understood Commander," Kaidan's body straightened out, but Josh felt more people looking at him, more used to him being in charge of the second unit. It could easily be explained though, considering Kaidain's rank within and overall allegiance to the Alliance.

"I'll get you in under their radar, Commander," Joker said as he started to bring the Normandy down.

Josh could feel the vibrations as the Normandy went down for a drop. He knew that Shepard and the rest of her squad would be at the Mako within minutes and the drop would commence. Kaidan himself remained on the bridge. Josh went towards the pilot's cabin, with Tali behind him. Wrex chose to remain with Kaidan on this one.

The Normandy dipped and changed its trajectory slightly. Joker was adjusting for the drop, preparing to get the Mako out of the cargo deck as soon as Shepard gave the go ahead. The next few seconds were tense, the pilot studying the red light to the left of his controls. After a few moments it changed to green and Joker released one of the buttons. The slight dip the Normandy took before levelling out into an upwards trajectory signified that the Mako has been dropped.

"We've got a clean drop Commander," Joker informed through the communicator seconds later.

"Stay out of range and continue evasive manoeuvres until I bring those AA towers down," Shepard's commands were loud and clear.

"I know the drill," Joker brushed off the command casually, "meet you at the camp as soon as those towers are offline. Joker out," the pilot cut of communications and then turned to Josh. "I should definitely get a medal for all this stuff. You know how many drops and extreme landings and pickups I have carried out in the past week? Too many."

"Are you sure you want one?" Josh laughed, "after all, you'd have to actually stand up. Not to mention listening to boring speeches from the who's who list of Alliance generals about your heroic contributions to the mission."

"On second thought," Joker nodded with a smile, "I'll just take extended shore leave."

"Good call," Josh laughed, "take us down to the camp as soon as AA towers are down."

"Excuse me," Joker said sarcastically, "I believe the Commander left 2nd Lieutenant Alenko in charge..."

"Just do it Joker," Josh smiled as he walked back towards the bridge, Tali remaining with the pilot.

Kaidan was looking outside, studying Virmire intently. Joker has pulled the Normandy far enough out of range of the AA systems that they didn't have to worry about evading anything, just coasting under the radar, and with Normandy's stealth systems that would hardly be a problem.

"You're ready?" Kaidan asked when he saw Josh walk up.

"Is there a choice?" Josh smiled lightly, stopping next to the 2nd Lieutenant.

"There's always a choice," Alenko smiled, still studying Virmire, "sometimes we just don't see it."

"Wise words," Wrex said from further away, once again occupied with his shotgun. He double checked his weapon many times over before each mission. It came to be his ritual as most of the crew perceived it, the focus and dedication with which the krogan did it each consecutive time.

"Listen," Josh said, almost apologetically to Kaidan, "about before and all that talk about Stephanie... I was out of place."

"No," Kaidan answered, "you weren't. You were right. The Commander is special to me, at first I thought it was simply because of her seniority and such, but now I see its more than that. And you were right about being direct. You have nothing to apologize for, but you are owed a gratitude for your advice."

"Just don't let her go," Josh said with a smile, "Steph... She's special."

"So is Ashley," Kaidan gave a slightly smile as both men stared out of the window, content with ending the conversation on common understanding.

Wrex soon joined the, looking at Virmire's beautiful terrain. Josh looked up at the krogan, and he thought he saw a little bit of moisture in the reptilian's eyes. He didn't know if krogan could cry or not but he could have wagered anything that Wrex was fighting back tears. Perhaps Virmire's beauty has brought something out in the mercenary, memories of his abandoned home, or the image of what it could have been or once was. They stood there, all three of them, silent, each thinking their own thoughts until Joker's announcement interrupted them.

"AA Towers are down," Joker's voice read loud and clear. "Locked in on the salarian signal, ETA five minutes."

Without any more words all three moved towards the cargo elevator, knowing that the platform was the best way for a ground exit. Tali caught up with them at the stairs, leaving the Normandy's pilot cabin behind.

Josh could feel the Normandy drop speed and start its decent as the cargo door started to open up slightly. Joker was taking them down directly onto what looked like a salarian infiltration camp. It was small, and there weren't many bodies in it, but it did react to the appearance of the Alliance vessel. Some scrambled about, most had their weapons ready and pointed at the opening door.

"Captain Kirrahe, 3rd Infiltration Regiment," the salarian officer who appeared to be in control stepped forward.

"Kaidan Alenko," Kaidan was the one in charge now, "Alliance military, under the command of Commander Shepard, Spectre."

"I regret to inform you," the salarian skipped straight to business, "that you little landing performance has just alerted every AA gun in the area to our presence. It seems that you are stuck with us as much as we are with you now."

"Joker?" Kaidan spoke through the communicator.

"Yeah yeah," the pilot responded, "I heard that. I will relay the information to the Commander."

"I am assuming your commanding officer," Kirrahe went on, "this... Shepard... Will be joining us shortly?"

"Yes," Kaidan nodded.

"In that case," Kirrahe studied Wrex intently, the krogan not entirely comfortable with that, as judged from his expression, " feel free to explore the camp, I have a supply tent set up over there in case you need anything. Once your Commander gets here we can discuss the situation."

"You heard the man," Kaidan turned back to everyone, "fan out. Let's see what we can learn."

"I don't like that salarian," Wrex said into Josh's ear, "I have a weird feeling about all of this as a whole."

"Relax," Josh tried to sound calm but he wasn't at all comfortable with the situation either. Having the Normandy grounded and with that every retreat route cut off was not necessarily good strategy. "We can't do anything until Shepard get's here regardless."

The three fanned out, attempting to look around the camp. Tali went towards the supply tent, most likely trying to look for any modifications or upgrades to her weaponry, Wrex followed Josh towards the main tent where Kaidan and Kirrahe were.

"We are locked down," Kirrahe was speaking, "our movements are extremely restricted. With your arrival, the attention on the area is even great. It won't be long until the geth discover our position."

"So what are we supposed to do now?" Kaidan asked.

"Stay put until we can come up with a plan," Kirrahe's solution seemed simple enough for the moment.

"Are you in charge here?" came a very familiar voice from behind as Shepard approached the conversation. "What's the situation?"

"I'm Captain Kirrahe," the salarian turned his attention from everyone else directly to Stephanie, "Third Infiltration Regiment, STG. You and your crew have just landed in the middle of a hotzone. Every AA gun within ten miles has been alerted to your presence."

"That's just great," Stephanie clearly wasn't too pleased with the situation. "What now?"

"We stay put until the Council sends the reinforcements we requested."

"We are the reinforcements," Kaidan put in.

"What?" Kirrahe was genuinely surprised. "You're all they sent? I told the council to send the fleet."

"We couldn't understand your transmission," Shepard was quick to explain, "they sent me to investigate."

"That is a repetition of our task," it was the salarian's turn to be frustrated. "I lost half my men _investigating_ this place."

"And you've found..." Josh said, not to satisfied with Kirrahe's explanation so far.

"Saren's base of operations," Kirrahe's revelation proved to be quite staggering. "He set up a research facility here, but it's crawling with geth and is very well fortified."

"Research facility?" Josh heard Ashley say under her breath.

"What's Saren researching?" Shepard followed up on Ashley's confusion as well.

"He's using the facility to breed an army of krogan," Kirrahe revealed another piece of information.

"How is that possible?" Wrex was the one confused now, most likely the feeling everyone else experienced. With the genophage there should have been no possible way to breed krogan.

"Apparently Saren has discovered a cure for the genophage," Kirrahe admitted.

"The geth are bad enough," Shepard thought out loud. Josh's eyes were focused on Wrex however, the krogan froze in place, clearly taken off guard by the information. "But a krogan army... he'd be almost unstoppable."

"Exactly my thoughts," Kirrahe agreed. "We must ensure that this facility and its secrets are destroyed."

"Destroyed?" Wrex sounded appalled. "I don't think so! Our people are dying. This cure can save them."

"If that cure leaves this planet the krogan would become unstoppable," Kirrahe clearly didn't take into consideration Wrex's personal involvement with the matter at hand. "We can't make the same mistake again."

Wrex closed the distance between him and the salarian fast. Josh thought that that was the end of Kirrahe, but the krogan has shown an impressive amount of restrained. He went face to face with the man in front of him, but contained his more violent impulses. "We are not a mistake!" He spoke clearly before turning and walking off.

"Is he going to be a problem?" Kirrahe asked, but not before making sure Wrex wouldn't hear him. "We already have enough angry krogan to deal with."

"He'll be fine," Shepard said, "I'll talk to him."

What she really meant was that Josh would talk to Wrex, and he knew it. Given his slightly more extended history with the krogan he would most likely draw the short straw on this one.

"I appreciate that Commander," Kirrahe sounded grateful. "My men and I need to rethink our plan of attack. Can you give us some time?"

"Go ahead Captain," Shepard agreed. "I'll come back soon."

"We won't be long commander," Kirrahe assured. "In the meantime, if you need any supplies you can talk to Commander Rentola. He's in one of the tents nearby." With that, the salarian leader turned and walked off into his private tent. Shepard turned back to Ashley, Kaidan, and Josh.

"Looks like things are a bit of a mess," Kaidan provided his personal observation.

"No shit," Josh confirmed.

"I wouldn't be so worried if it wasn't for Wrex," Ashley added. "Looks like he's gonna blow a gasket."

"Put yourself in his shoes," Josh looked at Ashley. "Here is something that can save your entire species from a biological defect that has been administered by the council. And here we are trying to destroy it."

"It's understandable that he feels like this is a personal matter," Shepard sided with Josh on this one, "but we need him on our side here. He needs to understand where Kirrahe and the Council are coming from on this one."

"I'll talk to him," Josh agreed.

"I'll cover you," Ashley nodded, "if things go sour, just give me the signal."

"No," Josh shook his head, "I'll deal with this alone. Everyone staring at us when we talk will not make Wrex feel understood at all."

Josh nodded and turned away from the conversation. Wrex was on the sand, shooting fish out of the clear Virmire sea water. His shotgun rounds rang all through the area, but the krogan didn't seem to care. Even before the mercenary turned, Josh expected to see an unsatisfied expression on his face, but not to this extent. This was the first time he has seen Wrex truly angry, and it was not a calming vision.

"This isn't right!" Wrex sounded almost abandoned, defending the point no one else sided with at the moment. "If there is a cure for the genophage we can't destroy it!"

"I know you're upset Wrex," Josh admitted, "but we both know that Saren is the enemy here, not Kirrahe or Shepard. He should be the one you're angry at."

"Really?" Wrex didn't seem to side with the point. "Because it seems Saren has done more for my people than Kirrahe, Shepard, and the Council combined. He has found the cure, and you are all here thinking of ways to destroy it!"

"It's not a cure," Josh pleaded, "at least not the way Saren intends to use it. You think if we let him keep it any of us will be alive to see the benefits..."

"That's a risk we should be willing to take," Wrex argued, "we are talking about an entire species here. Shepard gave the rachni a chance, why not the krogan? Are we not so different?"

"Wrex," Josh knew he was losing, he had to lead this conversation somewhere, "don't you see? These krogan, the ones that come out of this facility, they are not the same. They are slaves. Is this what you really want for your people? A lifetime of slavery to a rogue turian Spectre and the geth?"

"No," Wrex seemed to concede an argument that time, "but if we can get our hands on the cure it could restore the other krogan, the free kind. Don't you see that?"

"I do," Josh agreed, "and what then? More breeding? More wars? Isn't your planet already ravaged by constant struggle over clan territory? Imagine that, but multiply that by ten... Is that the Tuchanka you envision? If this cure was found once, it can be done again, when the krogan are strong, when they are united..."

"I suppose you have a point there," Wrex agreed, his voice trembling for a moment. "You cannot understand how hard it is to watch your people's extinction... This better be worth it."

Wrex turned and began to walk off. There was defeat in his posture, something that Josh has not seen in the krogan. He knew that perhaps they were not doing the right thing. If the facility was exterminated, the cure could be recovered and studied, perhaps applied to the krogan by the Council. The solution proposed now seemed a little extreme. On the other hand, it strategically more viable. No one knew where the cure was, and it was much easier to detonate the facility than to deal with a treasure hunt for research logs. He just hopped Shepard knew what she was up to.

"How did he take it?" Stephanie asked as soon as Josh put some distance between himself and Wrex.

"How do you think?" Josh felt frustrated with himself, a second friend he has betrayed in a week. "He'll understand if the cure is destroyed... I don't agree with this either."

"We have no choice," Stephanie placed her hand on his shoulder. "I don't like this as much as him or you, but Kirrahe is right. We cannot allow Saren to keep the cure, we cannot allow anything that may lead him back to it to be left here."

"You better be right Steph," Josh said, "you better be right."

"Commander," Ashley interrupted them, "I think the salarians are ready with a plan of attack."

"Get everyone ready," Shepard instructed Kaidan as she walked towards the tent, Josh followed.

"I'm sorry," Ashley levelled with Josh. "It must have been hard."

"It was," Josh remained stern, not displaying any emotion as he followed Stephanie into the tent with Ashley beside him. Kaidan joined them in a minute, informing that Shepard's squad was prepared for the offensive.

"I assume you've come up with a plan..." Shepard asked as soon as everyone was present.

"Of sorts," Kirrahe didn't sound overly convincing. "We can convert our ships drive system into a 20 kiloton ordinance. Crude, but effective."

"Nice," Ashley seemed content with the offered solution. "Drop that nuke from orbit, and Saren can kiss his turian ass goodbye."

"Unfortunately, the facility is too well fortified for that," Kirrahe quickly calmed the Gunnery Chief down. "We'll need to place the bomb at a precise location."

"Where do we take the nuke?" Shepard asked, and then added, "and how do we get there?"

"The bomb must be taken to the far side of the facility," Kirrahe went on with his plan. Your ship can drop it off, but we'll need to infiltrate the base, disable the AA guns, and pacify any ground forces first."

"Sounds like a walk in the park," Josh said sarcastically, earning a judgemental look from Shepard.

"You want us to go in on foot?" Kaidan didn't seem happy with the plan, "we don't have enough men!"

"It does sound a bit risky..." Shepard agreed, she seemed to have a common opinion with Kaidan more often than not in the past few days. "Is there no other option?"

"No," Kirrahe remained direct and resolute, "but I think we can work around that. I'm going to divide my men into three teams and hit the front of the facility. While we've got their attention you can sneak your 'shadow' team in the back."

"It's a good idea," Stephanie still didn't sound convinced, "but your people are going to get slaughtered."

"We're tougher than we look commander," Kirrahe sounded assuring, "but it's true. I don't expect many of us will make it out alive. And that makes what I'm going to ask even more difficult... I need one of your men to accompany me, to help co-ordinate the teams."

"We'll need someone who knows Alliance communications protocols," Shepard agreed.

"I volunteer Commander," Kaidan was the first to speak up.

"Not so fast LT," Ashley seemed to be eager as well. "Commander Shepard will need you to arm the nuke. I'll go with the Salarians."

"I know the protocols as well," Josh spoke up.

"After nine year absence?" Ashley smiled, "I don't think so."

"With all due respect," Kaidan interrupted everyone again, "it's not your place to decide."

"Why is it that when someone says 'with all due respect,' what they really mean is 'kiss my ass'?" Ashley preferred to keep arguing.

"Williams," Shepard made her voice heard, clearly the Commander has had enough of the arguing. "You'll accompany the Captain. No heroics. Understood?"

"Aye aye Commander," Ashley agreed with that point at least.

"I will have the ordinance loaded into the Normandy," Kirrahe seemed content with the choice, "and brief your crew on its detonation sequencing. Do you have any questions before we go Commander?"

"I'm ready when you are Captain," Shepard seemed sure enough.

"Excellent," Kirrahe agreed, "then if you'll excuse me, I'll need to prepare my men."

"Well," Ashley took a deep breath, "this is it. Don't do anything stupid while I'm gone, that goes double for you." She looked at Josh during the last phrase.

"We'll be fine," Kaidan answered before Josh could say anything, "you'll see."

"I know," Ashley smiled, "yeah.. I just... Good luck."

"Is there something you want to say Chief?" Shepard asked plainly enough.

"I don't know," Ash was honest, "it's just weird. Going under someone else's command. I've got used to working with you... all of you."

"Don't worry," Kaidan assured again, "we'll see you on the other side."

"I know, I... It's been an honour serving with you Commander."

"It doesn't matter if we're not in the same unit," Shepard answered, "we're still a team. Watch each other's backs, keep your eyes open and fight like I know you can. We'll all come out of this in one piece."

"You bet Commander," Ashley nodded.

"Kaidan," Shepard turned to the LT, "go get briefed on the detonation sequencing, take Tali with you."

"Aye Aye Commander," With that Kaidan and Shepard walked off, their hands touched for a second before the two drifted apart.

"Look," Ashley spokes softly, closing the distance between them, "Josh... I know all that stuff I said before, about not now and everything. That was stupid, a terrible idea." Josh felt Ashley take his hands into hers and draw him closer. "I just wanted to tell you one more thing..."

"No," Josh shook his head, "that was not stupid, far from that... Tell me when you're back..."

"But what if..." Ashley was gasping for words now, a few tears in her eyes.

"No what ifs," Josh smiled, wiping under her eyes, "just tell me after this is done."

Ashley nodded as they drew closer to each other. They lips touched again and their bodies came together. He felt the moisture on Ashley's face transfer onto his, hear tears feeling salty on his lips. He didn't know what else to say. They have gone from enemies to close friends within a week, and now there was this. He didn't want to think about what might happen after Virmire, not again. It couldn't possibly be anything like what happened on Elysium.

They came apart and Ashley smiled again, through the tears. Her hand came up to wipe the moisture from her face, her eyes still red. Without any more words she turned and began to walk where the Salarian teams were preparing for the mission at hand. At the last moment she turned around and gave him another look.

"This..." she spoke softly, "this is the first time something like this has happened to me. I just wanted you to know that much..." With that she turned and walked off.

Josh found himself on the beach, beside Wrex, double checking his guns as well. The krogan was silent, not saying a word. Josh understood that, this was no time for conversation. The mercenary was going head on to destroy something that could bring salvation to his people, a difficult moral choice. It was best to leave all the words for afterwards.

Everyone seemed focused as the beach went completely silent, no one saying a word. Kaidan has returned from being briefed about the bomb and was talking about something with Shepard, his hand holding hers tightly. Ashley was among the salarian squads, discussing their own attack strategy and perhaps considering the risks they might come under. Liara stood to the side, looking down the horizon, alone with her thoughts. Garrus found a place on the other side of Wrex, giving the krogan an understanding glance while studying his own assault rifle. Tali overlooked the loading off the nuke onto the Normandy.

After about ten minutes everyone was prepared. Captain Kirrahe was up on the raised platform in front of his tent, the whole STG unit in front of him. Shepard stood beside the salarian, her hands folded behind her back and her face still. The Normandy ground squad was to the side, not too far off, gathered in a tight circle, an unlikely band of brothers.

"You all know the mission and what is at stake," Kirrahe took the lead, talking mostly to his squad, but still overlooking Shepard's crew as well. "I have come to trust each of you with my life, but I have also heard murmurs of discontent. I share your concerns. We are trained for espionage. We would be legends, but the records are sealed. Glory in battle is not our way."

With those words Josh saw Tali and Liara grip their guns harder, straighten out and focus more. Two girls were definitely not worriers, an engineer and a scientist. Their achievements would never ring as loud as other's. But now they seemed prepared.

"Think of our heroes," Kirrahe didn't skip a beat. "Silent Step, who defeated a nation with a single shot. Or the Ever Alert, who kept armies at bay with hidden facts. These giants do not seem to give us solace here, but they are not all that we are. Before the network, there was the fleet. Before diplomacy, there were soldiers."

Wrex and Garrus looked up at the captain. They seemed prepared as ever for the mission, Wrex trying his best to put the genophage concern behind him. Both men were trained for battle, do what is necessary and carry out their responsibilities. Often constricted by diplomatic regulations, and kept in check by political ambition, yet never too far from their nature.

"Our influence stopped the rachni," Kirrahe wasn't yet done, "but before that, _we held the line_. Our influence stopped the krogan, but before that, _we held the line_. Our influence _will_ stop Saren! In the battle today _we will hold the line!_"

Josh felt himself rise up and look directly at Kirrahe. It was true what they said, most leaders were indeed charismatic, able to assure their troops of victory and glory in the bleakest of moments. Kirrahe appeared to be the master of the craft. Everyone was ready and the morale was high despite nearly suicidal odds. Every individual believed in success of the day's mission, more than willing to put their own life on the line for it.

"Good luck Commander," Kirrahe turned to Shepard one last time, "I hope we will meet again." With those words the Salarian looked at his unit and moved them out of camp. Ashley was in their midst, constantly turning back to single out Josh with her glances.

"Everyone set?" Shepard looked over her squad, judging the confident expressions. "Good. Alenko and Tali will stay behind and watch over the nuke, make sure it is ready for detonation on signal. I will take the rest of the team as a 'shadow' squad into the research facility from the back. We have little time... Move out!"

Everyone nodded, as Kaidan and Tali turned and made their way back towards the Normandy. Shepard took the lead, Garrus, Wrex, and Liara on her back. Josh was quick to catch up with her as they walked side by side.

"Look," he said quickly, "just in case we don't make it out of here..."

"Tell me after," Shepard seemed to use the same expression Josh used on Ash not so long ago.

"There may not be an after," Josh kept calm as he spoke. "This is it Steph, and I don't know if both of us will be back. I need you to know this... You're one of the three closest people left in my life. I know that the Cerberus business isn't exactly an argument in my favour, but it's true. I never wanted things to turn out like they did..."

"Josh," Shepard said sternly. "You do not have to explain yourself to me. What's done is done. You have reported to Cerberus, you still are, but you never gave anything away; never jeopardized me or any of my crew. I can be upset, feel betrayed, but even in your betrayal you remained loyal, if that makes any sense. Fuck Cerberus! We'll get you out of this, but in the mean time, focus on what we have to do here on Virmire."

"Right," Josh nodded, "_hold the line_. Got you Commander."

"Good!" Shepard said with a faint smile as they went on.

The facility wasn't far ahead as they hit another barricade, a fence constructed not too long ago. Shepard was first to go, Josh right on her six. Liara and Garrus were quick to follow, Wrex being the only one to take his time over the fence. The krogan climbed slowly and landed on the other side loudly. Josh could see that he still wasn't quite content with the way things unravelled on the beach, but he hoped Wrex understood the importance of what needed to be done.

"Comm check," Kirrahe's voice came through the communicators seconds after they were on the other side. "Do you read me commander?"

"Loud and clear," Shepard confirmed.

"Good," Kirrahe seemed content enough, "we'll start our push. We'll try to make it to the AA guns but it might be up to you to finish the job."

The crew moved, Shepard up ahead. Josh got used to seeing everyone work as a unit, but even now they seemed more co-ordinate. The members' understanding of each other's strengths and weakness developed with each mission. Shepard was ahead with her assault rifle, Wrex level with her, his pistol out for long range combat in the open. Josh and Garrus took the sides, the turian preferring a sniper rifle for more accuracy and range, while Josh stuck to his regular pistol. The rocket launcher on his back felt heavy, but it was comfortable knowing that heavy weaponry was there in case it was needed. Liara locked up the procession, also with a pistol, but the asari's most valuable asset was her biotics. She would provide the necessary support from the back, most likely without firing to many shots.

"Shadow is on the ground," Kirrahe began feeding updates through the communicator. "I repeat, Shadow is on the ground. Chief Williams, with Aeghor team. Mannovai, Jaëto teams, move! Time to get some attention!"

"Mannovai is under co-ordinated crossfire," Ashley's voice came through. "Check for long range turrets helping the geth target!"

As soon as Ashley's communications cut off the 'shadow' team came under direct fire. They all scrambled for cover, but not before Garrus picked off two enemies with successive sniper shots. Josh found himself behind cover, the biotic barrier around him. The get appeared fortified in some sort of structure. Luckily, the landscape was littered with rocks and other natural forms of cover.

"Advancing," Shepard's voice came loud and clear.

Josh leaned out from cover and provided suppressive fire on geth positions. He was far enough himself and knew that his attempts would barely reach the attackers. Garrus seemed to understand that as well, so he was the main cover options at the moment, his sniper shots connecting more often than not.

Josh used the opportunity to vault over his cover and sprint forward, feeling a few bullets stopped by his biotic protection. The last few yards towards cover he slid, hitting his feet hard on the rock while trying to stop his momentum. This was a much more acceptable range, the first three shots picking out a geth trooper.

Everyone else around him seemed to advance as well, alternating enough covering fire for each other to allow for better strategic positions. Shepard was ahead of everyone with Wrex, the krogan using the shotgun now. They were almost on the steps of the structure when Wrex rushed out of cover and charged upstairs. The first geth didn't stand a chance, trampled by the rushing mass, the next two found themselves taken down by shotgun rounds. The third one would most likely kill the krogan if it wasn't for Liara hoisting him in the air with her biotics and allowing Garrus to pick him off.

"Clear," Shepard announced, "good job team!"

"It's too early for that," Garrus said, "this was only the initial watch. We'll have much more to worry about once we hit the facility."

"Dammit! We have to move," Kirrahe's words came almost as a confirmation of what Garrus said. "Anyone left from Mannovai, merge with Jaëto team. Chief Williams, with me."

The team moved forward exploring every bit of cover, expecting geth up ahead. It seemed that the STG units were upholding their job by distracting enough of the geth, but not for long. A few geth drones emerged from behind another cliff, coming down on Shepard's position with heavy fire, one a rocket drone. The missile hit right in front of Josh, throwing him to the side, the impact also throwing Liara into the water.

Both found their way back up quickly, Liara ducking into cover. Josh shook his head, his ears ringing and his vision still blurry from the impact. He could feel his foot burning, but there was not time for that. He quickly ducked into cover, taking out his pistol and leaning out to shoot down one of the drones. Everyone else seemed occupied enough. Shepard and Wrex focused on the rocket drone, making sure it wouldn't come down on anyone else while Garrus picked off the remaining two.

Once the area was clear the team reconvened in the center, Josh feeling the burn in his foot. He preferred not to look down, others obviously decided to.

"Josh," Liara sounded concerned, "you're foot."

The piece of armour on his leg was punctured and there was blood flowing slowly out of it. He could feel the pain, but it wouldn't stop him from walking in any capacity. Quickly he reached out and grabbed a medigel from the supply pack, applying it to the injury. The gel clotted the blood and prevented the bleeding, also taking away some of the pain and slightly mending the torn muscles. It would still hurt, but at least it would be more bearable.

"You good to walk?" Shepard asked

"It's either that or you leave me here," Josh nodded and the team moved on.

"They're calling sat strikes," Kirrahe updated the situation once more, "Jaëto watch for comm stations. Williams, can you see anything?"

Shepard kept her squad moving, and Kirrahe's updates were not necessarily the best thing to hear at the moment. It appeared that the infiltration teams were met with heavy fire, and while they succeeded in diverting defences, they were under heavy fire. Another defended structure towered up ahead, this time Garrus took the lead.

The turian fired off sniper shots in quick succession, picking off the distant enemies. Josh used that as covering fire to get up close with Liara. They both jumped into cover directly onto the walkway up into the structure, a few geth up top. Josh looked at Liara and she nodded before throwing a biotic attack. It was nothing what the Alliance protocols trained their recruits for. As Liara's hand went up a small force of wind went forth from her reach, a series of biotic impacts sent the remaining geth into the air and off the edges. The area was clear.

"What the hell was that?" Josh asked curiously.

"It's called shockwave," Liara smiled.

"Garrus is hit," Shepard's voice took them out of the conversation right away.

When they came to the turian, his left shoulder appeared to be punctured, bleeding. He however refused to acknowledge it, standing straight up and gripping his sniper rifle with both hands. Wrex was double checking the perimeter, in case anyone went down.

"Liara," Shepard turned to the asari, "apply medigel and make sure that the bleeding stops. Josh, this looks like a comm tower, let's see if we can make Kirrahe's life easier somehow."

Everyone nodded as Shepard and Josh went back into the small tower. It seemed that the walkways from it led directly into Saren's facility, but first Garrus needed to be brought back to shape, and they needed to scout everything. Josh looked up, noticing a transmitter up above. He quickly took out his pistol and shot down the device. Shepard did the same on the other side.

"That should do it," she nodded and turned to Garrus, Wrex, and Liara walking up the stairs. "Is he going to be fine?"

"I'm good Commander," Garrus assured, and stretched his left arm as a demonstration. A small cringed expression made its way onto his face, but nothing more. "Let's move on."

The squad moved forward, towards what seemed like a way into the base. The Virmire landscape still prevailed but they were now travelling up above, on a metallic walkway installed for better traversing the terrain.

"Aircraft heading to perimeter stations to recharge," Ashley's voice came through loud and clear on the air piece, "bunker up before they come back."

Shepard took the team up the walkway until the intersection, at that point she took a clear right and they encountered another group of geth troopers, reinforced by a shock trooper on the side. There was very little space for cover, so the crew had to act fast. Shepard unleashed a barrage of bullets from her assault rifle, Josh following suit with a pistol. Liara and Wrex threw in mass biotic attacks such as shockwave and push, slowing down the enemies.

Garrus was at the back, picking the rest with his sniper rifle. The first two shots were misses, the injured shoulder appearing to have its impact. The turian adjusted for the next two, knocking off the remaining geth. Shepard signalled to move on right away. Strategically, they were at a disadvantage, on narrow walkways, open to enemy fire, but there was no other choice.

"Captain Kirrahe's down," came Ashley's voice from the other side with more bad news. "Aeghor, form up with Jaëto. Hold that line!"

With another left turn, the "shadow" team emerged onto a more open walkway, mass effect shields protecting sections of it with a few krogan and at least a dozen geth on the opposite side, protecting the entrances to the research facility. Shepard didn't hesitate, quickly taking refuge behind one of the mass effect barriers. Josh and the rest seemed to do the same.

With a smooth series of moves Josh took off the rocket launcher of his back, only three rounds left. He saw a geth rocket trooper on the other side however, so that was good news. He took aim for the most concentrated area, and fired. The rocket whistled through the air before exploding at the feet of a cluster of geth headed by a krogan, cutting the enemy forces like a knife.

Wrex took that as a cue for him to continue moving, shotgun out as the krogan charged across the last walkway onto the research facility ground. As he barged into the enemy ranks his shotgun was blasting off rapidly, taking down enemies. The rest of the team didn't pause for a second either, everyone following the krogan's lead, although with greater caution, using the time Wrex bought them to pick off the remainder of the opposition.

Taking quick survey of the situation after everyone was down Josh noted that no one was injured from this particular encounter. He quickly scouted for the body of the geth rocket trooper, replenishing his heavy ammo by three more projectiles, quiet possibly needed in the future. The rest of the team formed up around the entry point.

"Holding ground, Jaëto around me," Ashley's voice came through the comm channel again. "Shadow team must be getting close now."

The door took them inside another walkway, suspended between two walls, obviously a link channel between the entrance and the core of the facility. Josh quickly spotted a terminal, opening up the control panel and keying in commands. Within seconds it was cracked and ready for malfunction.

"We've got access to base security," he informed Shepard who was standing by. "Should be able to cut the alarms from here, might even be able to trigger alarms on the far side of the base. It will clear the guards out for us, but it might be too much for Williams and the salarians to handle."

"They've got enough trouble as is," Shepard judged, "we can handle whatever guards are stationed at the base."

Josh nodded, keying in the few commands. He didn't reroute anything towards the infiltration teams' position, but he did cut off the alarms. If anything, at least some of the enemy presence would be less aware and ready, assuming that the alarms were stopped because the resistance was quelled. After the last few commands the rest of the 'shadow' team continued to move.

The next door took them into what looked like a massive storage area, lots of crates and canisters. No one had time to survey the ground however as they were attacked, this time by a cluster of salarians wielding pistols and little to no armour. This particular encounter was no contest in these circumstances.

"Salarians?" Josh spoke when the last one was down. "The captain said something about losing some men."

Moving on, the crew went up the stairs and encountered a geth juggernaut right away. The giant fired off a rocket, hitting where Shepard stood. The Commander however jumped quickly, clearing the range, the blast knocking Liara back into the wall. Wrex was the first to react, firing a few shots at the enemy's knee joints, attempting to immobilize the giant. With that, the rest of the squad also concentrated fire while Garrus took aim. It took a few seconds for the turian to fire, but when he did the bullet pierced the main control point, shutting the juggernaut down.

"Agh!!!" Liara sounded from where she was getting up slowly.

"Are you okay?" Shepard, as always, the first on the scene.

"I'll be fine," the asari admitted, "just a little banged up, nothing too serious."

Shepard agreed and turned to move on as Josh helped Liara back up. The team headed through another door, taking them to a walkway above what seemed to be prison cells. Because the walkway was directly above the sells it was impossible to determine who was being kept there. The only way to figure it out would be to go down. Whoever it was though, sounded salarian.

"Hello?" the voice was weak, "is someone out there?"

Another door at the end of the walkway took the shadow team into a small research hub, computers lining the walls. There were only two salarians in the area, both raising their weapons as Shepard appeared. The Commander didn't give them a single chance, her assault rifle taking out most both in seconds.

"Krogan reinforcements," Ashley's voice came through the comm again, "Jaëto, hold your ground! Dammit! We're being flanked!"

The elevator took Shepard and the rest down, into what seemed like another research hub. There were a few salarians as well as a krogan. Shepard focused the main attack on the reptilian, understandably. The salarians were not much of a force, taken down shortly after. Liara seemed to have recovered from her bump with the juggernaut, throwing the krogan up in the air with a lift while Josh threw a push at him, slamming the massive body into the wall on the opposite end with maximum force.

The room was interesting, massive stasis devices containing what appeared to be geth husks. Once the main part of the enemy force was down, the stasis generators appeared to go down as well. Letting off an army of husks at the shadow team. The humanoid creatures rushed fast, none however making it to crew members, taken down quickly with well placed shots.

"What the hell were they doing down here?" Liara asked as they looked around.

"I don't know," Shepard admitted, "most likely more research. It seems that the salarian teams are indoctrinated as well. We need to find Saren quickly."

"How many more geth do you think are between us and the core?" Wrex asked as they moved back towards the elevator.

"Lots," Josh answered.

"Good!"

The team went up, back to the tech hub with two salarian bodies and took the second door out of the room. They were outside once again, on a small platform leading along the walls further into the station. As they made it to the first curve there was another door, with ten more geth gathered around it.

Stephanie didn't waste any time, throwing a grenade into the cluster of enemies right away, throwing most of them off the railing and into the water. The few that kept their ground and functioning were taken down by Liara and Josh's precise shooting. Immediately, the team made their way towards the door that the geth were guarding, it being the only available option for moving forward.

As the door opened, it made way to what seemed to be a reception area, a massive window opening the view onto Virmire with a reception desk at the opposite side of the room. There seemed to be someone hiding behind the desk as Shepard pointed her assault rifle in that direction.

"Don't shoot!" came a stifled asari cry. "Please, I just want to get out of here before it's too late."

"We're not going to hurt you," Shepard calmed the asari down. "Who are you?"

"Rana Thanoptis, neurospecialist," the asari informed. "But this job isn't worth dying over. Or worse. You think the indoctrination only affects prisoners? Sooner or later Saren will want to dissect my brain too!"

"I thought this was a breeding facility," Shepard asked plainly.

"Not this level," Rana answered. "We're studying Sovereign's effect on organic minds. At least that's what I assumed. Saren kept us in the dark as much as possible."

"So you helped him," Garrus judged, "and you don't even know why?"

"I didn't have the option of negotiating," Rana defended herself. "This position is a little more... _permanent_ than I'd expected. But I can help you. This elevator behind me goes to Saren's private lab, I can get you in." With those words the asari walked towards the elevator and keyed in a few commands, the light over the controls changing from red to green. "See? Full access. All of Saren's private files. Are we good? Can I go?"

"I'm going to blow this place to hell and gone," Shepard informed the asari. "If you want to make it out alive, you'd better start running."

"What? You can't... But I'll never.... Ahhhh..." With that final moan the asari darted off her spot and towards the door that Shepard and the rest came through. It was clear she was not happy with the idea of a massive explosion or losing her life. It was in her interest to keep running.

"I enjoyed that," Wrex gave out a little smile once Rana was gone.

Shepard didn't say a word, going directly for the elevator that would take them downstairs into Saren's private lab. Hopefully there would be answers there. Another small walkway hidden behind the door took Shepard and the team into a second room which contained the elevator. After a few seconds they emerged on a lower level, in Saren's research chamber.

The room was small, containing a few walkways and something that was giving out a green glow at the bottom. After a closer look Josh couldn't believe what he was seeing.

"Steph," he spoke quickly, "over there. It's another beacon, like the one on Eden Prime."

"Working prothean technology," Liara sounded amazed. "Unbelievable, I've never seen anything like this."

Shepard looked back, acknowledging the remarks, while Garrus and Wrex kept their positions at the doors, in case anyone chose to follow them. Without any more hesitation Stephanie activated the beacon, her body once again suspended in the air in green glow, twitching slightly. It was released moments later, dropping the Commander flat on the floor. The woman gathered herself, getting up slowly from her knees.

"Are you okay?" Josh sounded concerned.

"Yeah," Stephanie nodded, "I'll be fine. I think the vision, I think it is complete now. We can't slow down though, this facility must be destroyed."

"Perhaps another joining would now reveal Saren's purpose," Liara suggested.

"Yes," Shepard agreed, "but not now. The beacon took me down a bit, and the joining has impact it you last time. I need us both as aware as possible for the final stretch."

"Understood," Liara nodded. "Once we're back on the Normandy, we can discuss it then."

"Commander?" Garrus' voice came from above. "The control panel over here, it went active after your contact with the beacon."

Shepard didn't waste any time, making her way upstairs and approaching the panel. It was glowing red, displaying a holographic image of something... It was Sovereign – Saren's ship.

"This is not good," Garrus said 'through his teeth, judging the massive size of the projection.

"_You are not Saren,"_ came the voice from the display, it was deep, rugged, almost mechanised. There was something methodical to the way it projected.

"What is that?" Garrus asked. "Some kind of a VI interface?"

"_Rudimentary creatures of blood and flesh,"_ the voice went on. _"You touch my mind, fumbling in ignorance, incapable of understanding."_

"I don't think this is a VI..." Garrus concluded for himself.

"_There is a realm of existence so far beyond your own, you cannot even imagine it," _the voice chose to continue ignoring Garrus. _"I am beyond your comprehension. I am Sovereign!"_

"Sovereign isn't just some reaper ship Saren found," the realization came to Shepard at the same time it did to everyone else. "It's an actual reaper."

"_Reaper?"_ the voice questioned. _"A label created by the Protheans to give voice to their destruction. In the end, what they choose to call us is irrelevant. We simply are."_

"The Protheans vanished 50000 years ago," Garrus kept his argument. "You couldn't have been there. It's impossible!"

"_Organic life is nothing but a genetic mutation," _Sovereign went on, _"an accident. Your lives are measured in years and decades. You wither and die. We are eternal. The pinnacle of evolution and existence. Before us you are nothing. Your extinction is inevitable. We are the end of everything."_

"This is oddly unsettling," Josh commented, "not at all what I was expecting..."

"There is an entire galaxy of races," Shepard argued on, "united and ready to face you."

"_Confidence born of ignorance,"_ Sovereign didn't appear to yield to Shepard's argument. _"The cycle cannot be broken."_

"Cycle?" Josh asked.

"_The pattern has repeated itself more times than you can fathom,"_ came the answer. _"Organic civilizations rise, evolve, advance. And at the apex of their glory, they are extinguished. The Protheans were not the first. They did not create the Citadel, they did not forge the mass relays. They merely found them, the legacy of my kind."_

"Why would you construct the mass relays then leave them for someone else to find?" Shepard asked.

"_Your civilizations are based on the technology of mass relays,"_ Sovereign went on, _"our technology. By using it, your society develops along the paths we desire. We impose order on the chaos of organic revolution. You exist because we allow it, and you will end because we demand it."_

"They're harvesting," Liara concluded, "letting us advance to their desired levels, and then wiping us out."

"Where are the rest of the reapers then?" Shepard questioned, "are you the last of your kind?"

"_We are legion,"_ Sovereign's answer wasn't too pleasing to hear. _"The time of our return is coming. Our numbers will darken the sky of every world. You cannot escape your doom."_

"Where did they come from?" Garrus asked Josh.

"_We have no beginning,"_ Sovereign seemed to acknowledge the turian's concern. _"We have no end. We are infinite. Millions of years after your civilization has been eradicated and forgotten, we endure."_

"Why would they do this? Simply harvest us as resources?" Liara questioned out loud.

"_My kind transcends your very understanding. We are each a nation. Independent, free of all weakness. You cannot even grasp the nature of our existence."_

"You're not even alive," Shepard sounded resolute, "not really. You're just a machine, and machines can be broken."

"_Your words are as empty as your future. I am the vanguard of your destruction, this exchange is over."_

As Sovereign logged off, the explosions from outside caved in on the windows, blowing the glass and staggering the squad slightly down the railing, Liara almost falling off but caught by Josh at the last minute.

"Commander?" Joker's voice followed the explosion through the comm channel. "We've got trouble!"

"Hit me Joker," Stephanie answered.

"That ship, Sovereign?" Joker responded. "It's moving. I don't know what you did down there, but that thing just pulled a turn that would sheer any of our ships in half. It's coming your way, and its coming hard. You need to wrap things up in there -- fast!"

"The console is shot," Garrus examined the panels. "Orders?"

"Head for the breeding facility," Shepard instructed, "Joker can pick us up after we set the nuke."

With those words the rest of the squad moved, right back through the doors they came through and up the elevator. The chamber where they encountered the asari was empty now. The outside door revealed a geth destroyer armed and ready, thank fully Josh was as well. He assumed that the geth would close in, the rocket launcher hitting the giant directly in the chest plating, blowing it up.

"The geth are turning," Ashley's voice came through again, "Shepard must be getting closer. Jaëto, circle around. Keep them here. Keep them..." the comm chatter cut off, replaced by static.

With that, the bridge into the further parts of the facility began to come down, revealing the way to more krogan now. Five reptilians up ahead were charging, quickly and without hesitation. It seemed that Saren was unleashing everything that he had against the squad. The shadow team dispersed, Josh finding cover on one side of the walkway, he was closer to the enemy than most.

Leaning out, and firing three shots, Josh took down the first krogan and saw the second one drop to the ground as well, most likely from Garrus' marksmanship. Shepard didn't waste time either, unleashing bullets into the oncoming enemy. Wrex did something even more drastic, taking one of the enemies head on and tumbling it over with his own charge, allowing the rest of the crew to take down the remaining two.

Wrex stood over the downed krogan, his shotgun planted squarely between its eyes. The mercenary's own eyes were slightly most as he screamed in rage, "you are not KROGAN!" With that, the blast took off the head of the last enemy and the team was able to push on.

Through the door and the team found itself in another connecting chamber, empty of most enemies. The door on the other side took them to a curving walkway, slanting upwards. It lead to another open area with two levels, connected by a set of stairs. Geth troopers as well as krogan were in the position, supported by two rocket drones.

Josh pushed to the right, taking the stairs to the lower level, trusting the team to cover him. After leaning out of his cover he encountered a krogan face to face, its shotgun pointing squarely at him. With little time to react, Josh quickly threw his body down into a roll. As he came up, his hand grabbed the krogan's shotgun, pulling it forward and tripping the reptilian over his body. Josh then recovered upwards, putting three shots into the enemy's head.

A stifled scream came from above, it was female, so either Shepard or Liara were hit. Josh didn't waste any time. Quickly making his way upwards, picking off two more geth and a rocket trooper. Everyone else seemed to be in control of the situation. Josh felt a stabbing pain in his injured leg, stumbling to the ground for a second, but recovering quick enough to shoot two more enemies of a combo roll.

With everyone down he turned his attention to Commander Shepard. She was on the ground, against the wall, blood pouring out of her right hand. Josh quickly took out a medigel pack, applying it to the wound and stopping the bleeding. It wasn't a mortal wound, but it could potentially impair Steph's shooting abilities.

"I'll be fine," Stephanie read the concern on his face as she got up. "We have to keep moving."

Josh nodded, helping her up. The team made their way towards the staircase which took them to elevator controls. They were jammed by the panel opposite the doors, and Josh was quick to re route most blocks to different locations, not without bad news however. It would take roughly 30 seconds for the elevator to get here.

"On our flanks," Garrus informed, "they double-backed on us."

Josh leaned over the edge to see no less than at least 40 geth supported by krogan reinforcements and drones pour from where they emerged a few minutes earlier.

"Hold position!" Shepard screamed.

Just like that, everyone had their backs against the railing providing suppressive fire to the emerging geth. It was impossible to count the number, but they were swarming. Josh constantly looked back on the elevator doors judging the time it would take to get there, hoping they had enough.

A few krogan charged through the fire, rushing up the stairs, but they were met by another shockwave from Liara. There was little time to waste now, the elevator almost there, but the enemy also closing in on the position. Josh took out the rocket launcher again, taking aim and firing a shot into the most concentrated area. The geth flew up in the air, scattering throughout just as the elevator opened.

"Inside!" Shepard yelled, "now!!!"

Everyone followed their lead, Wrex dropping two proximity mines in his stead to slow down the enemy. As the elevator began to climb, the explosions from down low signified that the geth were catching on. The doors opened, letting the crew out and Shepard didn't neglect throwing one grenade into the mechanisms to stop any pursuits.

They were now in the breeding levels, surrounded by the pods. Most were empty, krogan most likely utilized in the fight. Up ahead, there were a few krogan and more geth leapers, ready to attack. Luckily, the spacing was wider than on the walkway, allowing for more cover and the crew didn't spend much time clearing the area out. Only when the last leaper was down did Josh turn to Wrex and noticed the krogan's body on the ground, the armour penetrated in numerous spots.

"Move on," Shepard commanded as they pushed into the center area of the facility through the main door.

Josh grabbed Wrex under his arms and dragged the mass with him, Garrus helping out. Wrex was incredibly heavy, but with his armour on, he as nearly immovable, taking every bit of joint effort. As they dragged Wrex into the open area, Liara worked hard to overwrite the door controls, ensuring they wouldn't be flanked again.

"Alright! Nice work," Joker's voice followed up on the distant explosion, "that's one less thing to worry about. Commander, I'm bringing us in. I'll get as close to the site as I can."

"Inform Dr Chakwas to be ready as well," Shepard went on, "Wrex will require medical attention."

Josh looked down to check on the krogan. Wrex was still breathing, heavily, but there was weakness to it. He could hardly move as he lay there still in the water. It wouldn't be right to lose Wrex now, after all he has done for the team. It didn't seem quiet as poetic sacrificing your life to destroy something that could save your people.

Joker pulled the Normandy into position, bringing it down directly onto the area. The bay doors opened quickly, Kaidan and a few more crew emerging with the bomb, Tali following them closely. The rest of the crew members picked up Wrex and carried him inside. This was the end of the road for the krogan, at least on this particular mission. Everyone turned to the nuke, which was now in place.

"Bomb is in position," Kaidan informed, "we're all set here."

"Commander," Ashley's voice came through the comm, "can you read me?"

"The nuke is almost ready," Shepard informed, "get to the rendezvous point Williams!"

"Negative Commander," Ashley answered, "the geth have us pinned down on the AA tower, we're taking heavy casualties. Captain Kirrahe's dead. We'll never make the rendezvous point in time."

"Joker," Shepard instructed, "get them out of there. Now!"

"Negative," Ashley refused the help, "it's too hot. Too risky. We'll hold them of as long as we c--" The communications cut off at that point.

"It's okay Commander," Kaidan interrupted, "me and Tali need a couple of minutes to finish arming the bomb. Go get them and meet me back here."

"Up to the AA tower," Shepard instructed the remainder of the 'shadow team,' "Move!!!"

Garrus and Liara didn't have to be told twice. Heading straight through the second door as soon as the command was given. Shepard was more than happy to leave the bomb behind for the time being and go to the rescue of the rest of the team.

Right through the door there were more breeding pods, empty yet again. Their inhabitants were on the opposite side of the prolonged walkway, firing away as soon as the squad appeared within their sights. Luckily, the breeding pod set up provided sufficient enough cover for Shepard's team. Josh ducked behind cover, stumbling slightly as his foot gave out again, almost toppling to the ground.

Without Wrex in the squad there was no one to draw the attention of the enemy, which allowed the krogan and the crawlers to focus their fire on each member of the team individually. Luckily, Garrus did not lose his aim, knocking down two geth crawlers off the walls. Josh quickly came up and threw a biotic pull at one of the krogan, drawing the enemy forward and exposing the reptilian to friendly fire.

Liara didn't rest either, she quickly launched a shockwave, knocking down only one krogan however, but startling the other two enough to give Shepard the time to pick them off. Most the battlefield was clear within a minute and the team of four gathered in the middle. Only then did Josh notice how tired everyone looked. Liara was still a bit unsettled from being thrown against the wall, while Garrus noticeably weakened the grip in his left hand. The squad's commander appeared to be the only one still ready to go, for how long, time would tell.

Shepard was the first through the last door and into the elevator, a welcomed breather. Once at the top, there were walkways that opened directly into the breeding pits. No one paused to take in the view of their downed enemies however, Stephanie taking a quick left turn and heading towards the AA towers. As they stepped onto the second walkway, a geth ship flew over head.

"Reinforcements," Garrus noted, "that is not good."

"Heads up LT," Ashley's voice came through the comm, "just spotted a geth drop ship headed to your location."

"It's already here," Kaidan didn't make anyone wait for a response. "There's geth pouring out all over the bomb site."

"Can you hold them off?" Shepard asked right away.

"There is too many," Kaidan was honest. "I don't think we can survive until you get here. I'm activating the bomb."

"What the hell are you doing Alenko?!" Stephanie demanded.

"I'm just making sure this bomb goes off," Kaidan replied. "No matter what! It's done commander, go get Williams, and get the hell out of here!"

"Screw that!" Williams didn't want to accept the resolution. "We can handle ourselves. Go back and get Alenko."

"We could split up," Josh offered, "like before. I can go get Ashley and you can double back to the bomb site..."

"It won't work," Shepard shook her head, "we're all too banged up. None of us will make it if we split this up... Josh... I'm sorry... but we must make sure that nuke goes off."

"You do that," Josh said decisively, "I'm going to get Ash out of those AA towers."

"Don't!" Ashley's voice came through his earphone. "Look, Josh... Kaidan is a higher ranking officer, that's the way it has to be..."

"Yeah?" Josh refused to accept it. "Well, I'm not part of the Alliance, so to me it's a little different."

"You must make sure that bomb goes off," Ashley pressed her point. "If geth overrun Kaidan's position, all we have done here is for nothing, you must understand that much."

"Josh," Shepard placed her hand on his shoulder. "I don't like this any more than you do... But... back then, on Elysium, when you took your crew into the heart of the offensive, the actions that saved a lot of the colonists. When you left... did you ever consider coming back from it?"

Josh lowered his head and looked below him, on the ground. They all had a point, Ashley and Stephanie. This was the right thing to do, at least from the current position. The bomb must go off, regardless of what happens. Otherwise, most of them would perish soon after, and those who died on Virmire will remain forgotten.

"Alenko," Shepard brought her hand up to the communicator, "radio Joker and tell him to pick us up at the bomb site."

"But..."

"No buts," Shepard was quick, "do it now... I'm sorry Ashley, I had to make a choice."

"I understand commander," Ashley said, "I don't regret a thing... Josh... I know you said to tell you later, but I think this is it... I just feel like this is the first time something like this has happened to me. I... --" The communication cut off at that point, leaving Josh still in the middle of an enemy base.

"We're going back," Shepard said quickly, "let's move... I'm sorry Josh... I really am."

"Yeah," Josh answered quietly, following Shepard and the rest of the team back to the bomb.

When they made it all the way back, the team discovered that the drop zone was indeed overrun with geth, juggernauts among most, advancing heavily on Kaidan and Tali's position. The whole team spread out quickly, taking vantage points around the bomb. Josh moved as if through a haze, firing odd rounds here and there, taking down most enemies. The time stood still for him, as he took down at least five geth within a moment. By the time Josh snapped out of it, the area was clear.

As Shepard surveyed the area a weird noise came from up ahead, followed by a biotic force projectile, landing a few inches in front of Shepard. The commander started running, everyone else as well. A turian covered in biotic energy emerged, he was positioned on a floating device, firing off biotics at them. Josh and Shepard scrambled into cover as the turian stepped off his transportation device, heading directly towards them. Shepard leaned out, firing shots from her assault rifle, but bullets only bounced off the barrier. Finally, Saren stopped.

"You've orchestrated an impressive diversion Shepard," Saren began. "My geth were utterly convinced the Salarians were the real threat. Of course it has been all for nothing. I can't let you disrupt what I've accomplished here. You can't possible understand what is at stake."

"Why are you doing this?" Shepard asked, back behind cover.

"You've seen the visions from the beacon Shepard," Saren went on. "You of all people should understand what the reapers are capable of. They cannot be stopped. Do not mar yourself in pointless revolt. Do not sacrifice everything for the sake of petty freedoms. The Protheans tried to fight, and they were _utterly_ destroyed, trillions dead. But what if they had bowed before the invaders? Would the Protheans still exist? Is submission not preferable to extinction?"

Josh considered what Saren was saying as he worked himself into better position to take the shot. The ex-Spectre seemed convinced of his own downfall, so much that he worked with those who were to bring it about to impede it. He was scared, fearful, and weak in the end. Not able to find something to counter the advance of the Reapers, but rather accept it and succumb to it. Josh almost felt sorry for the man, before he thought of Ashley that is.

"Do you really believe the Reapers will let us live?" Shepard asked, stalling for Garrus and Liara to take up their positions as well.

"Now you see why I never came forward with this to the council," Saren went off on his own discussion seamlessly. "We organics are driven by emotion instead of logic. We fight even when we know we cannot win. But if we work with the Reapers, if we make ourselves useful, think how many lives could be spared. Once I understood this, I joined Sovereign. Though I was aware of the dangers, I had hoped this facility could protect me."

"You're afraid Sovereign is influencing you," Shepard was chasing Saren into a corner. "You're afraid he is controlling your thoughts!"

"I've... studied the effects of indoctrination," Saren admitted. "The more control Sovereign exerts, the less capable the subject becomes. That is my saving grace. Sovereign _needs_ me to find the conduit, my mind is still my own... For now. But the transformation from ally to servant can be subtle. I will not let it happen to me."

"Tell me why Sovereign needs the conduit," Shepard pressed, "tell me what it is. Maybe we can find a way to stop him."

"The conduit is the key to your destruction," Saren responded, "and my salvation. Sovereign needs my help to find it, that is the only reason I have not been indoctrinated."

"Sovereign is manipulating you," Shepard tried to go even further, "and you don't even know it. You're already under its power!"

"No!" Saren raised his voice, drenched in conviction, blind belief. "Sovereign _needs_ me! If I find the conduit, I've been promised a reprieve from the inevitable. This is my... only hope."

"Together we can stop Sovereign," Shepard went on with the argument, even though the rest of her team was already in position. She truly wished to save Saren. "We don't have to submit to the Reapers. We can beat them!"

"I no longer believe that Shepard," the ex-Spectre remained unshaken in his convictions. "The visions, cannot be denied. The reapers are too powerful. The only hope of survival is to join with them. Sovereign is a machine, it thinks like a machine. If I can prove my value, I become a resource worth maintaining. There is no other logical conclusion."

"You were a Spectre," Stephanie sounded disgusted, "you were vowed to defend the galaxy. Then you broke that vow to save yourself."

"I'm not doing this for myself," Saren was equally frustrated now. "Don't you see? Sovereign will succeed. It is inevitable. My way is the only way any of us will survive. I'm forging an alliance between us and the Reapers. Between organics and machines. And in doing so, I will save more lives than have ever existed. But you would undo my work, you would doom our entire civilization to complete annihilation. And for that... you must die."

With that last word it was clear that the conversation was over, Saren moving backwards towards his transportation device. Before he even reached it, Garrus and Liara started shooting, ammo burrowing into the turian's barrier. Shepard followed the example of her troops, attacking Saren with everything she had, while the ex-Spectre simply shrugged it off.

Josh picked his moment then, sending a biotic pull into Saren's platform, preventing the turian from stepping foot on it and pushing him off balance. Saren kept firing his own rockets, first at Liara and Garrus, then at Josh himself, knocking most off balanced and half unconscious. Stephanie mean while took her chances at shooting down the fuel tanks around the turian, weakening his protection. With the final one blowing up, it was the final straw. Saren fired a rocket next to Shepard, disarming the commander. With decisive steps the rogue Spectre made his way towards Stephanie, dropping his rifle in the process. He gripped her hard around the throat, dragging the kicking body to the edge. One more time, Saren lifted Shepard to be eye to eye with him. Josh tried hard to reach his gun, so did everyone else.

The alarm noise from the core of the facility has destructed the turian enough to give Stephanie one more chance. She used it to the fullest, punching the rogue Spectre in the face, allowing him to drop her. As Saren recovered he ignored Shepard, heading back to his device and retreating from the battle ground. Shepard grabbed her pistol, but it was too late by the time she took aim.

The Normandy flew over head, its cargo doors opening up and reminding everyone that a bomb was about to go off. Garrus grabbed Kaidan over his shoulder and started dragging the injured LT towards the ship. Shepard came back to lift Tali, both women limping towards the opening door. Josh was the last one to come to his senses, scrambling to recover the weapons before grabbing Liara and lifting her up over his shoulder as well. He slowly made his way towards the Normandy with the unconscious asari on his shoulder.

Before the door was even completely shut, Joker kicked the Normandy into full speed, attempting to break out before the nuke went off. They made their way to the med bay with the injured crew, leaving Dr Chakwas enough work for the next couple of weeks at the least. Shepard, followed closely by Josh who refused to have his leg looked at now, made their way to the bridge. From there they looked on.

"Alright everybody," Joker instructed, "hang on!"

The ship broke out of the atmosphere just as the explosion happened, a giant ball of light expanded from where the research facility was seconds ago. Josh turned to Shepard and saw that the Commander had tears down her cheeks. He himself held it in.

MExMExMExME

"I... I can't believe Ash didn't make it," Kaidan was on the brink in the debrief room.

Everyone was there, recovered from their injuries, or at least on the road to recovery. It was clear that most were banged up on Virmire. Bandages and plasters were a dominant theme this time. But the wounds weren't the reason for the sad mood around the room this time. It was the absence of a crew member, someone who gave her life so that the rest of them could keep fighting the threat that now seemed even more dangerous than before.

"We just left her..." Tali seemed a little confused. "How could we just do that?"

"Williams knew the risks going in," Shepard answered, although it was quiet clear she wasn't too happy with the outcome either. "She gave her life to save the rest of us."

"It should have been me," Kaidan said what Josh was thinking about himself, "you know that."

"It wasn't your call Alenko," Shepard tried to stem the discussion away from the topic. "I had to choose. I chose you."

"I'm grateful for you saving my life," Alenko couldn't bring himself to look at Shepard, "but I still think it should have been me."

Josh knew it should have been him in the first place. If it wasn't for the whole business with the Illusive Man, Shepard would never lose trust in him. Even if he chose to reveal what he was doing later, after Virmire, he would be the one heading up with the Salarians instead of Ashley, he would be the one left behind. And he was fine with that, but losing Ashley right now, just when they were getting close... That he wasn't too fine with.

"Commander," Liara helped Shepard with switching the topic of the conversation. "Excuse me for interrupting, but I have an idea. I think the beacon you found in Saren's base was similar to the one you've found on Eden Prime. It may have filled in the missing pieces of your vision. I might be able to help you put all those pieces together."

"You want to join our minds again don't you?" Shepard guessed where this was going. "Okay, go ahead."

Both women stood up and faced each other, just like the last time they did this. Liara was more confident this time though, her posture slightly better. Perhaps because of her age she was uncomfortable the first time. No matter the reason, the asari looked sure of her abilities this time around.

"Relax Commander," Liara spoke, "embrace eternity."

Everything was the same as last time, both women standing still, eyes closed, expressions changing on their faces as they saw the same vision. Eventually, both snapped out of it. Kaidan was the one to catch Shepard, while Josh offered Liara a helping hand. Perhaps it wasn't the best idea for the asari to go through the joining after suffering a minor concussion.

"The images," Liara exhaled, "they were even more intense than last time."

"Did the vision make any sense to you?" Shepard straightened out as Kaidan assumed his seat again.

"It's a... distress call," Liara answered. "A message sent out across the Prothean empire. A warning against the Reapers, but the warning came too late."

"Clearly," Wrex remarked. He was still not in his best mood, facing with the destruction of the only possible cure for the genophage the galaxy has ever known.

"What about the conduit?" Shepard ignored the krogan.

"There were other images," Liara thought hard, "locations. Places I recognize from my research. Ilos! The conduit is on Ilos!"

"How come you've never told us about Ilos before?" Shepard asked.

"The Mu Relay links to dozens of systems and hundreds of worlds," Liara defended herself, "how was I to know Ilos was the one we wanted. Without the complete message the images in your vision were never clear. Only now do I recognize them as landmarks from Ilos."

"We need to get to Ilos," Shepard said.

"Forget it," Tali was the one to speak up this time. "The Mu Relay is inside the Terminus Systems. Alliance ships are not welcome there, neither are Spectres"

"Ashley gave her life for this," Josh snapped quietly in the quarian's direction, bearing no ill in the process. "We're not stopping now that we're almost there."

"Josh is right," Shepard nodded, "the Conduit is on Ilos. That's where Saren is headed, and I'll be waiting for him when he gets there."

"Saren will have his entire fleet orbiting Ilos," Liara warned Steph. "You will never make it down to the surface without reinforcements. You must alert the council, we need a fleet to... Oh..." Liara stumbled backwards. "Excuse me commander. Just like the last time, the joining is exhausting. I should go and lie down."

"Definitely," Shepard allowed for the asari to depart before turning to everyone else. "Dismissed."

Josh tried to be the last person to stay. He wanted to talk to Shepard, to get his head clear, to get any guilt of his shoulders, a task he participated in too often lately. Unfortunately, Kaidan remained by the Commander's side, waiting for everyone else to leave. Alenko would probably also want to discuss his rescue with Shepard, and he deserved that chance just as much. This would be a good time for Josh to get some rest.

Even in his cabin, Josh couldn't help but move around, twist, and avoid any further confrontation with sleep. He has been through this before, and knew what awaited him on the other side if he should allow himself to go unconscious. He didn't want to see her face yet, it would be too hard.


	25. Chapter 24: Uncertainty

**Disclaimer: Obviously all of the game characters, places etc. are creative property of BioWare.**

**This is a shorter chapter, just to facilitate the transition between Virmire and the rest of the game. The next one should be huge as I plan to wrap up the final battle and the first part of the aftermath in it. Switching of stories to Mass Effect 2: Shadows soon after.**

**Chapter 24**

**Uncertainty**

_A man who won't die for something is not fit to live._

_Martin Luther King Jr._

_Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a House and a Senate?_

_Will Rogers_

The cold steel felt unnatural against his hand, chilling. Yet no matter how hard Josh tried, he could not lift his hand away from touching it. It wasn't simply the metal that gripped him from the inside, it was the shape in which it was built, the symbol it stood to represent.

Josh always wondered about the methods of the military, not just the Alliance. Even if a soldier was missing in action, or died without any possibility to recover the body, there was always a casket. Perhaps it was symbol, something that would allow those to cope more peacefully with reality. After all, without a casket many could go in denial, persist to exist within a delusion. Josh knew, even though Ashley was not inside this particular coffin, she was dead, he needed no symbolic reassurance, yet here it was.

His hand went up, feeling the small piece of metal attached to a chain around his neck. Zeke's dog-tag, old, rusty, worn down. It represented strength, determination, and peace. He got it from Zeke's father, long time ago, something to keep not only as a memento, but as a reminder. Not only of those gone, but also of the strength needed for those that carry on, like himself. It was followed by Tanya's necklace, a small thing, a symbol of love, appreciation, and care. Finally, something that Josh found on his desk, - Ashley's grandfather's dog tag. It had a sweet note attached, something deep and meaningful, explaining why Josh was the one to get it in the end.

It would be easy to break down and cry, to curse at the sky and the deep space. Josh even thought about going into another depression, staring at the bottle of whiskey in his cabin for two hours. It was all easy to do. He didn't want to. It took so long to open up, to get close to someone else, to allow them inside. Going down that road would make it even longer, and that wasn't good enough. That uncertainty, that coldness, it had to last forever. There was no other way.

Friends and family were important, they were close, they were always there. But this, this kind of a relationship was different, this one was too much to bear to maintain, and even more to lose. As Josh stared at the empty coffin covered up by an Alliance flag he tried to put thoughts in his head into a cohesive pattern, nothing seemed to work. He had no idea what he wanted to do, let alone what he needed to do.

"It's weird, isn't it?" came a soft voice from behind. Shepard stood in the doorway, looking at Josh. "She's not in there, but..."

"Yeah," Josh nodded as Shepard levelled with him. "Especially since it should have been someone else's name on it as well."

"Josh," Shepard tried to keep her tone level, "please don't do this right now. I just had to calm down Kaidan because he feels it was his fault, and we should have left him behind. I... it was hard for me as well... I came to know her as a close friend. I can't justify what happened in my own head, let alone to you two."

"You don't have to," Josh shook his head, "you really don't. It won't make it any different. If I wouldn't have told you about my reports, I would be the one with the Salarian team.... I know, I know, communication protocols and all that. They barely changed Steph, and you know as much. It was me. I lapsed... I fucked up. And now she's... somewhere out there on Virmire, and I'm standing here in one piece."

"Josh," Shepard brought her hand up to place gently around his shoulders, "you do not have to live with this. You've lived with enough. Let someone help you, let me help you. It wasn't your fault, it wasn't her fault. It was Saren's fault if anything."

"I appreciate this," Josh levelled out, pulling back tears that never came, "I really do. But you don't have to calm me down. I'll make it... Somehow. Where are we headed now?"

"To the Citadel," Stephanie informed, "the Council is amassing a fleet to go after Saren. They're finally doing something... Also, I've put in a request for Ashley to get the Star of Terra, Captain Anderson approved. Her family will be there for the ceremony. Just thought you should know."

"Thanks," Josh nodded, "but no thanks. I can't... It just wouldn't be right. Seeing their faces, knowing how they feel. I've went through that once. It just makes it harder. Looking into the sister's eyes and realizing how much she looks like..."

"I understand," Shepard agreed. "Look... I know this is probably not the best time, but I'm making sure that Normandy is at the head of any fleet that heads after Saren. I think you should still file you report from Virmire to the Illusive Man, I don't need to proof read it, I trust you not to betray any information. But, after that, who knows... Maybe Josh Dri dies in the last leg of the chase... Just something to think about."

Shepard smiled and walked out, leaving Josh alone. He took a look at the coffin one more time, Ashley's picture on top of it. It was framed already, set for its honorary transition from the cargo bay to the Alliance grounds. Josh gathered the last bit of determination and walked out of the room. There was no need to stick around any longer.

MExMExMExME

Kaidan caught up with him during lunch. Josh specifically chose the far seat, a little bit away from everyone else, hoping that 2nd Lieutenant won't notice him. The hope wasn't long lived as Alenko seemed to be looking specifically for him. Something told Josh that this wouldn't be the last of the 'sympathetic' encounters.

"Hey," Kaidan said as he was pulling up a seat. "I wanted to tell you, good job on Virmire. I just wish we could have saved everyone... For what it's worth, I'm sorry about Ashley. It should have been me down there, not here."

"It doesn't matter now," Josh said, not showing much emotion, "does it? We're alive, she's not, that's really all there is to it. No offence LT, but I hate it when people say it should've been me. It's like a coping mechanism, and it usually amounts to the equivalent of 'thank God I'm alive, a shame about the others.'"

"Look," Kaidan got a little frustrated, "I understand this is hard. If it was me down there giving orders, I would have sent all of you after Ash, stayed behind on my own. I wish it was all that way."

"It doesn't matter," Josh repeated himself. "Ashley was prepared to die for our cause as much as you. Who died is... in the larger scheme of things," Josh couldn't actually believe he was saying it. He sounded so cold, so calculated, almost like Sovereign, "it's one death against the backdrop of trillion possible ones. It matters what we do after, how we honour that sacrifice."

"I..." Kaidan stumbled for words for a second, taken aback by what he heard, "I never thought of it that way..."

"It's hard to think of it that way," Josh admitted. "Personal feelings, relationships, everything in between, they make it hard for us to see things that way. But this perspective sometimes makes it easier to cope. Distance is a good medicine."

Kaidan nodded and didn't say another word, he didn't have to. The Second Lieutenant's face spoke for him. He clearly disapproved of the way Josh dealt with this, but that didn't matter. It was clear that Kaidan has been through his share of trials, he was an L2, and most likely went through the difficult training regiment introduced by the Alliance in order to research biotics. It was doubtful however that Kaidan went through something like this, loosing someone like this, twice.

Josh ate his food silently now, and waited for Alenko to leave. A few people around gave wayward glances as they passed by. There was compassion and understanding in their eyes, but it didn't help. All it did was make Josh think back to Ashley, and then eventually to Tanya. Everyone passing by did little to help him forget.

Tired of the looks Josh got up and was about to head out. He dropped off his tray and headed back to his room, but then caught Liara's glance coming from the med bay. There was something different in her eyes than in everyone else's. She seemed to understand where he was, how he wanted to feel and how everyone made him feel instead.

"How are you feeling?" Josh was the first to ask as he entered the med-bay. "You looked a little out of it after the joining."

"It takes a lot of us," Liara admitted, sitting back down at the table. Dr Chakwas wasn't around at the moment, probably making her rounds with the rest of the crew. Everyone got injured on Virmire, but the majority of the ground team, especially Wrex and Garrus were too stubborn to keep up with the doctor's strict follow up schedule. "The asari I mean, not me and Shepard."

"I got that," Josh smiled, sitting down himself.

"How are you?" Liara asked, sounding slightly concerned. "We've been through a lot on Virmire, losing a squad mate is always hard, especially like that."

"I'm fine," Josh wasn't too sure of that himself, but there was something comforting about Liara, she actually did make him feel better. The asari was both sensitive and aware of the other's dispositions, a great friend indeed, besides her claim of not being socially adept. "You never get used to seeing people die, soldiers, and civilians. Comes with the job I guess... Dying does to..."

"I suppose you're right," Liara considered, "everyone who signs up is well aware of the dangers and the consequences, aren't they? I would assume it doesn't make it easier however."

"Really doesn't," Josh nodded again. "It's one thing to willingly give your own life for the cause you believe in, but to see someone else sacrifice themselves, and live on with their image... that's something else."

"I never understood why humans were so eager to abandon their religious views after discovering the mass relays and joining the intergalactic community," Liara went on. "The asari still have maintained our spiritual side, as well as our understanding of the way the universe works. _All is one_, all life, in its essence returns to the universe in the form that left. Ashley is part of that as well."

"Williams never abandoned her religion," it felt weird referring to Ashley by her last name, "neither did I. It does help cope with the loss at some points."

"Don't think of it in terms of coping," Liara retorted. "Embrace it for what it is, just as you should embrace Ashley's sacrifice, respect it, and acknowledge it. It is the memories that hurt the most, yet the past cannot physically harm anyone, it lacks the potential of materiality in the present."

"I guess you need to live at least a hundred years to get this wise," Josh smiled, considering what Liara said.

"I am nothing but a foolish child among my people," Liara smiled right back, "just staring my journey to self discovery. I've seen very little, a lot of things I speak of came from my mother... before she became so distant... I just hope that Saren is brought to justice, for all that he has done, every life that he has ruined."

"He will," Josh reassured, knowing that Liara needed comforting. He placed his hand gently on her shoulder, trying to take the pain away. After a few moments, he got up and excused himself, leaving the asari to her thoughts.

The passage down to the cargo bay was long. Once he got there, Josh found the area a little more crowded, despite Ashley's absence. Chakwas was inspecting Garrus, most likely done with Wrex. It wasn't surprising that she would want to get the krogan out of the way quicker, considering Wrex's opinion on medicine as being for the week, at least anything that wasn't a potential genophage cure. Aside from the squad, the Salarian STG unit was there, what was left of it.

These were the ones who got cut off from the main assault group, or the wounded that stayed behind from the beginning. Josh felt anger building up in him, anger at the fact that they were still alive because they couldn't press on, because they got injured or left behind, while Ashley, the one who saved this mission in a way, was gone. He quickly turned that anger away now, it would do no good to antagonize the salarians, especially considering their losses as well.

"Funny thing isn't it," Wrex spoke when Josh approached him, "life."

"Yeah," Josh laughed, "it is at times."

"Explain something to me," Wrex went on. "I never understood the concept of 'honouring' someone with a medal after they're already dead. It seems somehow inappropriate."

"It is," Josh agreed with a krogan on the part of the argument, "but it helps those who are still alive, families and friends. It doesn't bring those who are lost back, but it gives them some kind of an explanation I guess, justifying the death."

"The highest honour to the krogan is to die for one's cause and beliefs," Wrex nodded. "To fall in battle, defending something that you stand for, no matter what it is. This ritual, this medal, somehow... cheapens the death as a whole. It destroys individuality of one's own convictions and turns one into a martyr, an unrewarding cause, even in death."

"I suppose," Josh nodded, "but it is how generations create future heroes, make it the most honourable thing, to die for one's country, colony, race..."

"It's too misleading," the krogan seemed to disapprove, "the honourable death is for one's own beliefs that may or may not be tied to all those things. Is this how Alliance dupes everyone to go out and be ready to get shot on a moment's notice? Even if the cause itself couldn't be farther from honourable?"

"That's how old generals get young men to do the dying," it was so sad Josh couldn't help but laugh at it.

"Cowards," Wrex said, a hint of disgust in his tone. "The krogan leaders are valued for the presence in battle, their prowess in combat. That is how you lead the people, by being amongst them fighting for their cause, not by sitting on a chair high up above it all. That is why I respect Shepard, always willing to stick her neck out for us... and, as hard as it is to admit, the decision to destroy the facility was the right one... Thank you... Those were not krogan, they would not lead to the salvation of our species, just to the eventual downfall and back to where we are... You helped me see that."

"You already knew that," Josh didn't feel right taking all the credit, "it's just the possibility of the cure was too much to dispute. Everyone understands that Wrex, no one judges you for how you felt on Virmire."

Wrex went silent for a few moments. The krogan's expression remained rock solid and menacing, but his eyes were somehow different. Josh knew that there was more to Wrex than simply the violent nature of his species and the untrusting one of the mercenary kind. This reptilian had convictions, belief in the salvation of his home world and his people. He truly wanted them to succeed and emerge into the galactic community a new. For the krogan though, such beliefs, as well as any hint of sensitivity, meant weakness and downfall. Wrex did well to hide all that.

"I should go," Josh said as he turned, "we'll be on the Citadel soon. Shepard has the Council to see."

"Let's hope that they think clearly this time," Wrex agreed, "I'm tired of the wild chase. Time to take Saren straight on, in honourable combat."

"There is going to be nothing honourable about Saren," Josh laughed, remembering his first encounter with the rogue Spectre.

"I have no doubt in that," Wrex laughed, "all the more reason to get ready."

MExMExMExME

The flux was full of various representatives of all the different species. A number of them enjoyed the miniature adrenaline rush of gambling. Of course it never compared to the real experience of coming toe to toe with the risk of losing it all, but for most people here that was the only legitimate risk they faced in their daily lives. Even so, it made hard for Josh to envy them.

Other's favoured the dance floor or the immediate bar area. Skinny waitresses in outfits that left little to the imagination raced from table to table, replacing empty glasses with full ones, making sure none of the patrons got too anxious while waiting for their booze.

Josh and Joker chose a seat by the bar, slightly removed from the immediate action of the flux, but not too far. The pilot was enjoying a beer while Josh was savouring a scotch on the rocks, a difficult drink to come by outside of human dominated places. Both didn't say a word for a bit, just nursing their drinks and enjoying the break. Some of the Normandy crew were also scattered around the flux and the wards in general, but Josh rarely paid attention.

"So what happens now?" Joker asked, ordering another bottle of beer.

"No clue," Josh shrugged, "same as always. The Council and Alliance tell Steph what they want her to do, she tells that to us, and we go and do it."

"The poetic adventures of every day military men," Joker raised his bottle before adding, "and women."

"Indeed," Josh raised his glass to meet Joker's bottle with an audible clank.

"I just wish we had more leaves like these," the pilot went on. "Don't get me wrong, saving the galaxy and nearly getting killed in the process is fun and all, but we all deserve a day of... or five."

Josh nodded, ordering another drink himself. He hasn't gone out like this in a lot of years, last time was with his crew on Elysium, just before the attack. From that point on it was just him; until Shepard asked him to join the Normandy's crew in the chase for Saren. He allowed himself to get close to people again, to let others into his own affairs. And then Virmire happened.

"I just wish Williams was here to enjoy the well earned time off," Joker took a deep breath, as if reading Josh's thoughts. "She deserved this as much as everyone else."

"She really did," Josh agreed, studying the drink in his hand. It seemed so easy to jump in and lose himself in it again, to drown all the way down to the bottom. It couldn't happen though, not until the last bit of business was finished. "To Ash."

"To Ash!" Joker agreed as both men finished their drinks for the second time that night.

"Jack on the rocks," Shepard interrupted the two as they were about to order more drinks, "double."

"So... I'm guessing it didn't go well," Joker turned to face the Commander, waving off his last order.

"You can say that shit again," Shepard nodded, accepting her drink and knocking back nearly half of it. "For once, just for once, I thought the Council would listen. Actually put aside their bullshit and listen to what we had to say. But no, God forbid they might break some tiny element of their enormous protocol."

"I'm guessing it didn't go well _at all_," Joker confirmed his own previous statement. "I'll be over there, with the rest of the crew. That girl from engineering looks like she could use a joke... Anyone? No... Okay, I'm off."

Joker left Josh and Steph behind, heading towards a different table. Josh leaned to the side to look past Shepard to see where the pilot was going. Joker ended up joining a small party of Alliance engineers, enjoying their time as much as everyone else. The girl he was talking about did look a bit down, disconnected from the fun and staring into nowhere. Knocking the pilot, he would change that, and there would most likely be a smile on her lips in no time.

"What happened?" Josh asked as soon as everyone else was outside of earshot.

"They grounded the Normandy," Shepard finished her drink, and pointed to the bartender for another one. The pretty look asari was quick to deliver.

"Shit," Josh noted, taking a small sip of his own alcohol.

"Yup," Stephanie accepted another drink from the waitress. "Shit is right. They have no idea what we're dealing with. They think the Reapers are a made up threat, something Saren used to get the geth on his side and to play us."

"Bullshit," Josh agreed with Stephanie's anger at the council. "We know what we saw, and trust me, on Virmire, that wasn't Saren."

"You think I don't know that?" Shepard was getting slightly worked up. "I've been trying to tell them that, brought in the evidence from Noveria as well as Feros, but they refuse to see facts."

"I thought they were mobilizing the fleet," Josh remembered what Steph told him earlier.

"They were... but they're doing so to protect the Citadel, not to go after Saren. They think that sitting here will protected them from the Reapers, they have no clue of what is happening."

"This won't help," Josh agreed. "If what Sovereign said was true, then the Citadel itself is the Reapers' invention. Inside here the Council would be sitting ducks. The balance of galactic community can be broken with one precise strike..."

"You want to tell them that," Stephanie looked up sarcastically, "I have to warn you though – they're not much for listening."

"Given up so early in the fight Commander?" another familiar voice came from the side. Both Josh and Stephanie turned to face Captain Anderson.

"Captain," Shepard straightened out and was about to salute before Anderson cut her off.

"We're off duty Commander," the Captain stopped her, "besides I'm hardly Alliance now, more of an advisor in military matters to humanity's ambassador."

"Sounds like a swell job," Josh noted with sarcasm in his tone.

"It has its ups and downs," Anderson smiled, "mostly downs. Shepard," he turned to Steph, "can I talk to you for a second?"

"Sure thing Captain," Shepard nodded and looked back at Josh as her and the Captain walked off to the side.

Josh turned back to his drink, studying its contents. In the past he would down that within a second, ordering the next one right after. Now, he was enjoying it, the rare time where he could have a drink and relax, despite the circumstances. Most of the thinking inside his brain went towards diverting thoughts away from Ashley's death.

From what Joker said about the funeral ceremony, it as well held. Williams was honoured with the Star of Terra as well as a few other medals. Her whole family showed up, speaking to Shepard after the ceremony. Apparently, Ashley's oldest sister asked to join the Alliance and Normandy's crew. Thankfully, Steph had the presence of mind to refuse for the time being. It was not the right decision for anyone, and Josh would definitely not enjoy being reminded of Ash for the rest of the time he served with the Commander.

"We've got us a plan," Steph came back a few minutes later, "we're getting off this rock. Get the crew ready, inform everyone. Rendezvous on the Normandy in two hours. I want everyone ready to go."

MExMExMExME

Kaidan was pacing the bridge around the star map, back and forth. Everyone else seemed a beet shaken as well, but most controlled themselves better than Second Lieutenant. Once everyone returned to the Normandy, Stephanie unveiled her plan.

Aided by Captain Anderson, who would take of the lockdown restrictions for a limited time they were going to leave the Citadel and go towards Ilos. Such actions would most likely put the whole crew, and especially the Commanding officer on the other side of the law. Stephanie offered the possibility to leave to anyone who was not comfortable with the idea of disobeying the Council, and in part the Alliance command. The whole crew prepared to stay.

"Come down LT," Navigator Pressley's voice was the first thing Josh heard when he reached the bridge, "you're going to earn yourself a heart attack."

Josh agreed with Pressley, but preferred not to say anything. He carried on towards the pilot's area, where Joker and Stephanie were intently staring at a screen. The red indicator signified that Normandy was still in lock down, unable to leave port without higher authorization. That meant Captain Anderson didn't reach the Ambassador's office yet.

"You guys are staring at that so hard as if a stripper is supposed to pop out," Josh said as he joined them.

"I wish," Joker laughed, "just waiting for restrictions to be lifted."

"You ready?" Shepard turned to Josh. "I mean, we become fugitives, breaking the law as much as Saren, disobeying the council."

"I've been on that side of the law," Josh smiled, "it has its benefits. Besides, sometimes you have to get your hands dirty. I'm sure that once Saren and the Reapers are fully exposed we will be back on the Council's good side."

"I sure hope so," Stephanie agreed. As soon as she said those words, the light changed from red to green, identifying that the Normandy was free to leave. "Get us out of here Joker, now!"

Shepard disappeared as the pilot got to work. It was the first time Josh witnessed Joker controlling the Normandy, and he was pleased to finally see it. The man's hands moved quickly from switch to switch over various control panels. Every movement was smooth and reflected at how equally bump-free the ship itself slid out of the docking bay and exploded into opens space, right past most of the fleet orbiting the giant station. Josh looked out of one of the windows, catching one look of the Destiny Ascension. Something told him this may be one of the last opportunities to see it in full glory.

"Straight to Ilos then," Joker looked up at Josh, with a worried smile on his face, before adding in a slightly comedic tone, although most likely partially serious. "Never to be seen again."

Josh tried to appreciate the joke, understanding that this was Joker's way of dealing with situations such as this one. To protect oneself from fear. Everyone had a coping mechanism, and the Normandy's pilot was no different. Josh himself didn't much consider what would happen on Ilos. He simply wanted to get Saren, to make sure Ashley's death was not in vain. Anything else beyond that was a mystery.


	26. Chapter 25: Full Ahead

**Disclaimer: Obviously all of the game characters, places etc. are creative property of BioWare.**

**Shifted Shepard's speech from where it was in the game to this. Decided to condense a few battle sequences just so it doesn't get too heavy and repetitive. It was nice in the game since you were actually **_**playing**_** it, but since there are only so many ways to describe battle scenes, didn't want to tax the readers too much. **

**Also, this is the second last chapter in this story. Just so everyone is aware, the Prologue to Mass Effect 2: Shadows will be posted before the last chapter for this so the link can appear in the last chapter. Also, just as in this story, ME2: Shadows will follow the original story line for the initial bit to cover what Josh went through in 2 years following Shepard's absence and how he got brought into the mission for the second time.**

**AblatedCrayon**** (Review to Chapter 23):**** Definitely couldn't avoid the death since the impact to story was monumental. It will definitely show more in the next chapter, considering that they wouldn't really have time to transition in the wild chase since Saren took priority. **

**Tal'Eath (Review to Chapter 23):**** Luckily, the events of Mass Effect 2 are not far off now, but first there will definitely be some original story involved.**

**GTAManic (Review to Chapter 23)** **: Yeah, he got the wrong end of the deal didn't he? We'll see, maybe in ME2 and in between things will work out differently. **

**PPS: Definitely agree with you on the name.**

**Corran Griffin (Review to Chapter 23):**** Great to hear you're liking the story.**

**Samir-Duran (Review to Chapter 23)****: Thank you. I am really happy to hear that people enjoy what I have done, considering how much care the original creators put into Mass Effect. The writing for the game and the whole universe they created was top-notch and I was absolutely terrified of messing their work up somehow, making it worse than what it was. There will be more to Josh as the next few chapters transition him into ME2. As for Wrex, I really tried to focus on all characters, but it was hard without making it bogged down. Writing him just sort of clicked for me at some points as I liked him in the game as well. I guess its kind of weird, but even when I was playing ME, in my head I sometimes imagined the more flashed out back stories and personalities to these characters, and that's how it all came about. Thanks again for your support. **

**ClarkesLaw:**** Takes time, but here it is. **

**Chapter 25**

**Full Ahead**

_Civilization is movement and not a condition, a voyage and not a harbour._

_Arnold J. Toynbee_

_Despise the enemy strategically, but take him seriously tactically._

_Mao Tse-Tung_

The Normandy was quiet, almost too quiet. Every footstep and voice reflected through the halls. The normal chatter usually heard was non-existent. Everyone seemed to realize the gravity of their mission, and where the Normandy was headed. In addition, there was also a realization that they may not come back, and if they do, they would be facing a tribunal at the very least.

Josh couldn't find a place to go, his thoughts caught up in past and in the future, always escaping the present. He thought back to Virmire, seeing all the decisions play out yet again. Thought ahead towards Ilos, trying to imagine what would happen. He needed to escape.

Most of the squad felt the same, hiding out wherever they felt most comfortable. Kaidan, most notably disappeared to speak to Shepard. Josh remained in his room, staring at the wall for most of the time. Joker was too busy navigating the Normandy towards Ilos, while everyone else most likely caught with their thoughts. It's not until Liara knocked did Josh snap out of his trance.

"Am I interrupting?" the asari asked cautiously as she stepped into the room.

"No," Josh snapped out of his trance quickly, shaking his head to focus back in reality, "not at all. I was just thinking ahead to Ilos."

"Me as well," Liara admitted, making her way towards the chair, "I can't wrap my mind around it yet. I have no idea what we would find there, what the Conduit is, or what Saren has in store."

"No one does," Josh agreed, sitting up in his bed while Liara took the chair.

"I wanted to ask you something..." Liara paused, as if not sure where to go from there. "About Elysium. I hope you don't mind, I've looked into the files of people serving on the ground team... with Shepard's permission of course."

"I don't mind," Josh did well to hid his surprise in the asari's personal explorations. "Especially if Steph agreed."

"Thank you," Liara nodded before going on. "It's just, on Elysium, when you went in to carry out your last assignment, surely you must have assumed you may never return. How... how did you deal with that? Accept it?"

_Of course, she's nothing more than a child_, Josh thought to himself. "It's hard to accept anything like that, I'm sure Ashley would testify to that if she could. But it's why you're doing what you're doing in the first place, why we are going after Saren from the start. Giving up something we value the most for something we believe in."

"It's a very clever way of looking at it," Liara admitted, but she wasn't completely convinced. "But what if whatever it is that you believe in the most is life?"

"Then you have to look at your priorities," Josh shrugged, helpless. "All of us are here by choice, that means that deep inside, we are all ready to do whatever it takes, even if it means..."

"I understand," Liara bowed her head, "you speak the truth. It's just... it is a little difficult for me to think about what might happen..."

"Then don't," Josh tried to offer some kind of relief. "Don't think about it, enjoy now, whatever it is we have left. Thinking about the future is... dangerous, it takes your mind off the present. Visualization is a powerful thing, picture something enough in your mind... you never know."

"Thank you again," Liara nodded as she got up and headed towards the door, "this really helped me."

Josh nodded, but didn't say anything else. He could see that Liara was slightly unsettled by possibility of death on Ilos. She also didn't appear to be completely confident of betraying the Council, although she did realize that something had to be done. There was a lot of determination in her, and for someone so young within their species, it was impressive.

Josh got himself ready as well, knowing that they would soon reach Ilos. He double checked every gun, making sure that nothing was wrong and they were in perfect condition. If what Liara said was true, if the Conduit was indeed on Ilos, then it would be crawling with geth. Saren knew they saw the visions from the beacon, as well as followed his every step, he would very thorough in his preparations.

"Five minutes ETA to the Mu Relay," Joker informed through the speaker as Josh was already making his way towards the bridge. Everyone else from the ground crew as well as the Normandy piloting crew was already in position.

"This is Commander Shepard speaking," Steph's voice cut through the intercom. "We have our orders. Find Saren before he finds the conduit. I won't lie to you crew, this mission isn't going to be easy. For too long our species has stood apart from the others. Now it's time for us to step up and do our part for the rest of the galaxy! Time to show them what humans are made of. This began with an attack on the human settlement in the Traverse. But we know Saren won't stop there. His geth armies aren't going to stay on the far fringes of Citadel space.

"Our enemies know we're coming," Shepard went on. "When we go through the Mu Relay, Saren's followers will be waiting for us. But we'll be ready for them, too. Humanity needs to do this. Not just for our own sake, but for the sake of every other species in Citadel Space. Saren must be stopped, and I promise to all of you... We will stop him!"

As the speech was done, most the ground crew headed towards the pilot's cabin, where Shepard stood next to Joker, overseeing the approach the Mu Relay. Navigator Pressley was also present checking out some readings on the side. Stephanie looked at the crew as they approached. As she gazed past Kaidan, she paused for a second, a hint of a smile shading over her lips.

"Inspiring," Josh said with a fake sarcastic shiver. "Can't wait to get there now."

"We're coming on to the relay right now," Joker turned to inform as everyone faced towards the front to see the approach.

Joker, once again, demonstrated his skill with piloting the Normandy, steering it perfectly into the relay. His hands jumped from control to control on the main panel as the Normandy engaged with the Prothean technology inside the relay. As the ship jumped, everyone felt a small shake, seconds before the Normandy emerged on the other side. Even without the radar scans, most could see geth ships up ahead.

"Um, Commander," Joker informed anyways, "we've got company."

"Have their sensors picked us up yet?" Liara asked.

"Stealth systems are engaged," Joker answered. "Unless we get close enough for a visual they won't have any idea we're here."

"Picking up some strange readings from the planet's surface," Pressley informed, reading off his own panel."

"Take us down Joker," Shepard turned to the pilot. "Lock in on the co-ordinates."

"Negative on that Commander," the navigator interrupted again. "The nearest landing zone is two clicks away."

"We'll never make it in time on foot," Kaidan replied, "get us something closer."

"There is nowhere closer!" Pressley was losing his patience slightly. "I've looked!"

"Drop us in the Mako," Stephanie suggested.

"You need at least a hundred meters of open terrain to pull off a drop like that," Pressley didn't cave. "The most I can find near Saren is twenty."

"Twenty meters?" Josh double-checked, "I don't think that drop is going to happen."

"We have to try," Liara contradicted.

"Or find another landing zone," Kaidan turned to Pressley yet again. This began to seem like pointless banter.

"There is no other landing zone!" Pressley finally snapped, tired of repeating the same point over and over.

"The decent angle is too steep," Tali judged.

"It's our only option," Josh suggested, "we've really got no other choice here."

"It's not an option, it's a suicide run," Kaidan was losing it like the rest of them. "We don't --"

"I can do it," Joker sounded almost inspired.

"Joker?" Stephanie looked down at the pilot.

"I can do it!"

"Gear up and head for the Mako," Shepard turned decisively. As she was walking off she gave one last instruction to Joker, "drop us right on top of that bastard!"

"Aye Aye," the pilot rattled off as they disappeared.

"Josh, Wrex, Garrus," Shepard spoke quickly, "to the Mako, on the double. The rest, remain on the Normandy and wait for further instructions. Kaidain, you're in charge of the ground squad."

"Aye Aye," the 2nd Lieutenant didn't sound to happy at being left behind.

"The Mako?" Wrex asked as they were headed towards the elevator, everyone already in gear. Can't say I'm looking forward to that experience again.

MExMExMExME

The drop was fast but hard. Everyone was holding on for dear life, none too happy with the promise. Judging from the readings, fitting the Mako was a tight squeeze but everyone believed that Joker could really deliver. There was little other choice. Josh preferred not to look outside, choosing not to induce any vomiting at the moment. He looked at Wrex, who himself wasn't completely satisfied with the premise.

As the vehicle hit the ground, everything shook. Josh felt himself fly up in the air off his seat for a good few seconds before slamming back down, pain going all the way up his back. At that moment he chose to look ahead, seeing a closed gateway. It was quite evident that Saren expected to be followed, the path was cut off.

"Fuck," Steph muttered under her breath, "dead end. The power for the control is out."

"There must be some sort of control system," Wrex spoke as he was the first person to get out of the Mako.

"He's right," Garrus picked up on the idea. "If Saren found a way to close this door, there must be some sort of control. Most likely behind us."

"Well," Shepard agreed, as all four were now out of the vehicle. "Let's go and find it."

Josh nodded as he was the last one to get out, reaching back momentarily to pick up the geth rocket launcher he had from Therum. There were only three rounds left but hopefully that would be enough. The sensor readings were not saying anything good either, indicating a few squads of geth right behind the small barricade.

Shepard headed the charge, at the front of her squad. As they crossed into a more open area, they encountered at least a dozen geth as well as two armatures. This was not a good premise, considering they were up against artillery on foot. Josh quickly ducked into cover and looked around seeing everyone else followed to their positions. Shepard looked at him and indicated the armature with her thumb, Josh knew what needed to be done.

The rocket launcher slipped off his shoulder and into his arms. The sound of firing weapons around them drowned out any other noise and there was no point in yelling for Stephanie or anyone else. He just had to hope they would cover him.

Josh leaned out, taking a few seconds to aim. Luckily, the he had the biotic barrier around himself, throwing it up almost subconsciously as soon as the battle started. The enemies were too focused with the enraged krogan and every other member of the squad taking a more active turn in the battle. Josh allowed his breath to settle, focusing the aim display directly on the armature. With a press of a button a trail of smoke left the barrel of the heavy weapon, tracing the rocket all the way into the geth machine as it blew up.

Satisfied with his shot Josh allowed a quick lapse for a split second, that was enough for the enemy. The second armature took aim and fired a pulse round. Luckily it wasn't head on, exploding meters from Josh. The impact however threw his body backwards, right against some rocks in the background, leaving the rocket launcher on the ground.

"Get up," Garrus quickly rotated positions to help Josh up with one hand while firing off from his assault rifle with the other, a nifty skill.

Josh could see what the turian said from reading his mouth, but couldn't hear a word. The ringing in his ears was drowning out any other noises from around him. Stumbling for the first two steps, almost falling down, he somehow scrambled back towards the rocket launcher picking it up and ducking behind cover in a nick of time.

Josh pressed his back against the cold rock, breathing heavily, steadying himself. He gripped the rocket launcher hard, staring dead ahead as all the sounds came back slowly. There wasn't much to hear but gunfire and sound of bullets piercing metal.

Josh shimmied to the other side of his cover, attempting to switch angles and throw the enemy of balance. Once again, he leaned out and took aim, firing after a few seconds. The rocket left the launcher, but whizzed by inches from the armature. The geth machine turned its snake like head towards where the shot came from, firing another pulse round. This time Josh had the reaction about him to take cover before the shot hit.

Quickly, he rotated himself to the opposite side of the barricade again. Taking one last aim. This was the very last round in the rocket launcher, and he had to get it right. With those thoughts in his head, Josh exhaled, pressing the trigger as he did so. The last round whistled directly into the enemy, blowing it up to follow its counterpart.

With both armatures down, and the geth out as well, the squad took a breather and checked out the damage done. Wrex had a few markings on his armour, but looking at the krogan, it was evident that none of the bullets actually penetrated any deeper. Garrus favoured a leg, but it was nothing more than a bruise. Josh was most likely the worst off, with a probable concussion from the impact.

"Let's hope he didn't leave much more for us to deal with," Josh said, "we're just loosing time we don't even have."

"Agreed," Shepard nodded as they all moved.

The closest elevator didn't work, the power was most likely shut down from further up. Everyone was once again on guard, moving through the ruins as slowly as they could afford. On most days Josh realized that it would be hard not to stop and stare at all the architecture as well as the natural beauty of the place. The rustic pillars, as well as an all enveloping greenery created a marvellous combination. Unfortunately, Ilos was now overran with geth and there wasn't much time for site seeing.

The group took a ramp down, with the path curling around yet again. Josh felt slightly uncomfortable at leaving the rocket launcher behind, even if it was out of ammo. The next opening took them into what most would consider a hall. Pillars on either side of a prolonged room, with the exit on the other end.

"Leapers!" Wrex said as he took cover, everyone else doing the same.

Josh pressed his back against the pillar and listened in to the sound of gunfire. Leapers were some of the most difficult enemies to deal with, considering their mobility speed as well as agility and awareness. One almost had to shoot ahead of the enemy's movement just to stand a chance of getting him.

Josh took a few deep breaths and turned from his cover. The agile geth were everywhere, jumping from pillar to pilar. Josh took aim carefully, trying to predict the movement for the enemy. He fired a few shots, all missing, before finally hitting one. The shot slowed the enemy down, allowing for the killing blow. That one done with, Josh turned to two more. As the leapers came into their new position, inches from each other, he threw up a stasis field locking both in as they stood. He couldn't hurt them with bullets now, but one grenade would do. As the explosive landed right beside the synthetic enemies, Josh released the stasis, allowing the blast to dispose of them

After that the room appeared to be clean again, if one could consider a giant hallway littered with bodies clean. Everyone looked slightly worse for wear, a result not only of Ilos, but everything before and in between. Shepard once again took point, not allowing the team to slow down. There would be time for this later, if they stopped to rest now, they would soon be resting forever.

Another room, another encounter with the geth – the next twenty minutes took on a very repetitive nature for Josh, as he assumed for everyone else as well. It was pointless to count how many geth were killed before the four reached the second elevator, but it was most certainly in triple digits. Everyone had a system, Josh relied on the combination of cover, precise shooting and biotics. Through their progress he got into a routine, almost ignoring the enemy actions and focusing on his own pattern.

Only when all four were standing by the working elevator did Josh start feeling the stinging pain on the right side of his stomach. Looking down revealed a small wound, blood pouring out of it. Josh took his time to apply medigel and stop the bleeding as well as dull the pain, everyone else taking care of their own wounds. Wrex seemed to be hit in the leg, while Garrus was holding on to his shoulder again. Shepard seemed the only one without noticeable damage, but she did favour her left leg as she walked up to press the button.

"The power is clearly on," Garrus commented as they got into the elevator. "They must be controlling it from down here somewhere. If we can find the panel, we could be on our way."

"Let's find that panel then," Wrex said what everyone else was thinking.

The hallway downstairs opened up into what would be a giant hall in the prothean times. While it was only up to speculation what it was used for then, at the moment it was littered with geth, including two juggernauts. Josh instantly remembered the comfort of handling the rocket launcher on the surface as he ducked into cover.

The foot soldiers were the first to go. Josh took aim and scoped out five of them with consecutive bursts right away, focusing on the further ones, the snipers. The geth organized their attacks in similar ways all the time, most likely due to the shared database. As strategically sound as it was, it became highly predictable as the squad knew how to act in these particular situations.

Josh then turned to the rest of the geth, majority already down from the rest of the squad's actions. He aimed his pistol at one of the juggernauts, aiming for around his head to fall the goliath. Garrus and Shepard also opened fire on the same enemy, concentrating it enough to bring it down without much trouble.

As Josh turned to the second one, he noticed Wrex charging towards the giant on his own. The krogan had his head down, so the protective shielding was covering his exposed area. The mercenary's shotgun was firing rapid rounds in the direction of the enemy, not taking a single moment to pause. The juggernaut picked up pace as well, charging into the reptilian in response. As two collided, Wrex burrowed his mass into the machine, pushing it full backwards and throwing it on its back. The juggernaut didn't get back up as Wrex stomped onto its chest and unleashed the final round into its head.

The squad didn't have any time to look around as Shepard took the lead into a distant building up ahead. As they reached it, a ramp took them upwards, onto the second floor, with a set of control panels.

"Common," Garrus urged on as Shepard approached the terminal, "Saren's already got a head start. We can't lose any more time. Have to get to him before he gets to the Conduit."

"Unless he's already there," Wrex pointed out. "If so, then we're just walking into a trap."

"Going to have to take that chance aren't we?" Josh said with a small smirk.

"Just the way I like it," Wrex agreed with a nod. "Hold on... Something's happening."

A set of flickering holo-lights came on over the control panel. The image constantly changed and shifted. It reminded Josh of static he used to see on old transmission systems back on Earth. A set of indiscernible noises came from the image, before forming into what sounded like a message in a foreign language.

"It's some kind of message," Wrex said the same thing Josh was thinking. "But I don't recognize the language."

"It's probably in prothean," Garrus pointed out. "This recording must be 50,000 years old, no wonder we can't understand it.""

"The message is all broken up," Shepard said out of nowhere, "but... I recognize some of the words. It's a warning against the reaper invasion."

"And you apparently speak Prothean now," Josh didn't miss the opportunity to offer a quick comment despite their predicament.

"Incredible," Garrus sounded impressed. "The cipher must have transferred an understanding of the Prothean language into your mind."

The hologram gave out a few more various noises before going silent another time. Josh looked at Shepard, trying to gage what was said from the Commander's reactions. He could deduce very little this way. Unless Steph actually told him, the particulars of the warning would remain a mystery.

"It's speaking of the conduit," Shepard noted, "but it's too degraded to help. We need to activate the power and move out of here. Too much time is lost already."

Shepard quickly activated the panel, inputting a few commands. The way that she handled it seemed as if she was born with an understanding of Prothean technology. The cipher must have imported an incredible amount of information into her brain.

As the power went back on, the squad moved back to retrace their steps. Instead of making their way through the room backward, Shepard took another turn, unexpectedly to everyone else which took the squad to another elevator. As they took it upwards, the four emerged in their initial battlefield, the remains of the armatures still on fire.

The Mako was in the same position as before, shields still powered up. Josh quickly made his way towards the door panel as Shepard and everyone else got into the rover. A few commands unlocked the door as it began its slow ascend. Josh quickly ran back to the Mako, getting into position inside the vehicle, on the main pulse cannon control. Shepard didn't hesitate, flooring the gas pedal as soon as the opening was large enough to fit the rover. Josh still heard the sound of scraping metal as the Mako squeezed into the gap.

The Mako gained speed as it was racing through what appeared to be a skyway. The main track was covered with a running stream of water and the side walls rose high up into the air. Josh couldn't help but look up and stare at everything. Tube-like extensions were sticking out from the walls, small force fields around some, most however looked quite empty.

"What are those things?" Garrus seemed as fascinated as Josh.

"I'm not sure," Josh answered. "They look like... stasis pods."

"So many?" Garrus looked up again. He was right, there seemed to be an almost astronomical number of pods up there. "How can they sustain all this?"

"They don't," Wrex said, "most of them look shut down. They probably shut themselves in there until the Reaper's disappeared, but the power ran out. They died in there, withered without being able to do anything about it."

Everyone went silent, considering that fate to being annihilated by the Reapers. Josh wasn't too sure of what everyone else thought, but on his own part, he would much rather die in a fight for his life as opposed to in helplessness and despair. The Mako jerked him out of the thoughts as it came to a sudden stop. Josh looked forward to see a field ahead in their path.

"What is that?" Garrus asked. "A trap? Watch out for Saren and the geth."

"I don't think it's Saren," Wrex noted, taking the liberty of getting out of the Mako. "I think its something else."

Josh followed the krogan and everyone else was soon out of the rover. Even though there were no enemies around, everyone had their weapons out. Josh looked around spotting only one option of proceeding, a small doorway to the side of the field. Shepard took the lead again as the four headed forward, reaching the elevator not too far into the hallway.

"It's impressive how everything is still working," Garrus noted as the elevator was climbing up slowly. "There must someone still left... You've seen all the pods. There must be a survivor, controlling the complex from somewhere."

"I guess we'll find out," Shepard nodded as the elevator doors opened up.

Up ahead, there was another terminal, a green hologram twitching above it. The image itself was similar to what they have see back in the main control room. It seemed to be the major image for prothean communication. The small hologram spoke the unknown language again.

"What is it saying?" Josh asked Stephanie after the hologram was done. Shepard didn't have time to finish as the hologram went on, suddenly switching into the galactic.

"_I do not sense the taint of indoctrination on any of you," _the hologram spoke, its voice soothing, almost pacifying, "_unlike the other that came through. Perhaps there is still hope_."

"So..." Josh dragged out the word, "we all speak Prothean now?"

"_I have been monitoring your communications since you've arrived at this facility_," the image explained. "_I have translated the output into a format you will comprehend. My name is Vigil, you are safe here for the moment, but that is likely to change. Soon, no man will be safe."_

"Why did you bring us here?" Shepard asked.

"_You must break a cycle that has continued for millions of years,"_ Vigil went on_. "But to stop it, you must understand, or you will make the same mistakes we did. The Citadel is the hub of your civilization, and the seat of your government. As it was with us, and as it has been with every civilization that came before us. But the Citadel is a trap, the station is actually an enormous mass relay. One that links to dark space – the empty void beyond the galaxy's horizon. When the Citadel relay is activated, the Reapers will pour through, and all you know will be destroyed."_

"If it is activated," Josh noted, concerned for what all of this meant, "the Reapers can wipe out the Council and the Citadel Fleet in one move. They will not be expecting that!"

"_That was our fate,"_ Vigil confirmed_, "our leaders were dead before we even realized we were under attack. The Reapers ceased control of the Citadel and through it, the mass relays. Communication and transportation across our empire were crippled. Each star system was isolated, cut off from the others. Easy prey for the Reaper fleets. Over the next decades, the Reapers systematically obliterated our people. World by world, system by system, they methodically wiped us out."_

"Some of you must have managed to survive..." Shepard spoke, her tone audibly shaken by the revelation. Everyone knew the threats when Sovereign was discovered, but hearing it first hand, such methodical precision from the Reapers, that was terrifying.

"_Through the Citadel,"_ Vigil explained the obvious_, "the Reapers had access to all our records: maps, census data. Information is power and they knew everything about us. Their fleets advanced against every settled region of the galaxy. Some worlds were utterly destroyed, others were conquered, their populations – enslaved. These indoctrinated servants became sleeper agents under Reaper control. Taken in as refugees by other Protheans, they betrayed them to the machines. Within a few centuries the Reapers have killed or enslaved every Prothean in the galaxy. They were relentless, brutal, and absolutely thorough."_

"How do we stop them?" Shepard asked after little deliberation.

"_The conduit is the key,"_ Vigil began to explain. _"Before the Reapers attacked, we Protheans, were on the cusp of unlocking the secrets behind the mass relay technology. Ilos was a top secret facility. Here, researchers worked to create a small scale version of a mass relay, one that led directly to the Citadel – the hub of the relay network."_

"It's a fucking shortcut," Josh smacked himself on the forehead, Saren's plans clear to everyone now.

"How did you manage to stay hidden?" Shepard continued her interrogation of the hologram.

"_All official records of our project were destroyed in the initial attack on the Citadel," _Vigil confessed. _"While the Prothean empire came crushing down, Ilos was spared. We ceased all the communication with the outside, and our facility went dark. The personnel retreated underground into these archives. To conserve resources everyone was put into cryogenic stasis. I was programmed to monitor the facility, and wake the staff when the danger had passed. But the genocide of an entire species is a long, slow process. Years passed, decades, centuries, the Reapers persisted and my energy reserves were dwindling."_

"How did you survive?" Shepard went on.

"_I began to disable the life support of non-essential personnel,"_ Vigil went on. _"First support staff, then security. One by one their pods were shut down to conserve energy. Eventually, only the stasis pods of the top scientists remained active. Even these were in danger of failing when the Reapers finally retreated back through the Citadel relay."_

"There were hundreds of stasis pods back there," Garrus butted in, "you just shut them down? You killed them?"

"You were programmed to protect them," Shepard appeared to take Garrus' side, "not kill them."

"_This outcome was not completely unforeseen,"_ Vigil ignored the accusations. _"My actions were a result of a contingency programming, entered on my creation."_

"I bet they didn't tell the non-essential staff about this contingency," Wrex added.

"_I saved key personnel,"_ Vigil went on_. "When the Reapers retreated, the top researchers were still alive. My actions are the only reason any hope remains. When the researchers woke, they realized the Prothean species was doomed, there were only a dozen individuals left. Far too few to sustain a viable population. Yet they vowed to find some way to stop the Reapers from returning, to find a way to stop the cycle forever, and they knew the keepers were the key. The keepers are controlled by the Citadel. Before each invasion the signal is sent to the Citadel compelling the Reapers to activate the Citadel relay. After decades of feverish study, the scientist discovered a way to alter this signal. Using the conduit they gained access to the Citadel and made the modifications. This time, when Sovereign sent the signal to the Citadel, the keepers ignored it. The Reapers are trapped in dark space."_

"Saren can use the conduit to bypass all the Citadel's external defences," Shepard spoke out loud, the point everyone realized before, she was simply reaffirming it.

"_Correct," _Vigil confirmed_, "and once inside, he can transfer control of the station to Sovereign. Sovereign will override the Citadel systems and manually open the relay. The cycle of extinction will begin again."_

"I'll stop Saren," Shepard said, determined. "Just tell me how?!"

"_There is a data file in my console," _Vigil informed. _"Take a copy when you go. When you reach the Citadel's master control unit, upload it to the station. It will corrupt the Citadel security protocols, and give you temporary control of the station. It might give you a chance against Sovereign."_

"Wait," Garrus came into the conversation again, "where is the Citadel master control unit? I've never heard of anything like that."

"_Through the conduit,"_ Vigil explained, _"follow Saren. He will lead you to your destination."_

"We're just wasting time now," Josh turned to head back, "Saren has got enough of a head start already. Let's get that data and let's go"

"_The one you call Saren has not reached the conduit,"_ Vigil reassured_, "not yet. There is still hope if you hurry."_

Shepard grabbed the data and all four moved back to the elevator. Inside, no one dropped a word as they descended in complete silence. No doubt everyone was considering what they have just learned. Failure meant complete extinction, thorough genocide of all species. There was no room for failure.

Once outside, the field was already down and no one wasted time getting into the Mako. Stephanie pressed her foot into the gas pedal as the rover took off again. They went downhill now, most likely into a different section of the Ilos facility. There were no more stasis pods and everything else seemed much more rustic. At the end of the downward ramp, the Make dropped into what looked like a prolonged and labyrinth like tunnel.

As soon as the Mako landed on the solid road, a few geth opened fire, but Shepard chose to ignore them. As Garrus and Josh used the weapons to try and hit the opponents, Stephanie floor the rover into fool speed.

"Reroute the power from weapons onto acceleration thrusters," Shepard instructed. "We have no time, we have to get to the conduit."

Josh obeyed, keying in commands as fast as he could. As soon as he hit the last button, the rover took off even faster, gaining more speed as Shepard steered it through narrow turns and past a number of geth armatures and rocket troopers. There was no time to slow down and deal with the small squads, Saren was too close to his goals.

A few more turns, a downward spiral came into view, at the end of it a miniature version of the mass relay. The light inside it was still on, the metal rotation quickly, but slowing down.

"It's closing!" Garrus pointed forward, "we're not going to make it."

Josh judged the road ahead, it was a good slope for gaining speed, but at the end of it there were numerous heavy geth armaments. There was no time to pause and enter combat, they had to get through the relay before it closed. It would be a dangerous run, one that could end in disaster.

"Reroute all power to Mako acceleration thrusters," Shepard was stern, "even the shields. We need everything."

As the rest of them were busy keying in the commands, Shepard floored the Mako again, sending it down the slope. Josh could feel the rover shaking and wobble as it flew downwards. As the surface levelled out, a huge bump sent all of the squad scattering around, falling onto each other. Steph didn't care, she kept her gaze forward as the Mako gained even more speed. As the rover flew into the relay, and was fired off into the sky, Josh felt himself go numb.

It was one thing accessing a mass relay through using a space shuttle, something built for the purpose. On the other hand, no one has ever experienced it in a Mako. Josh felt his head spinning and his vision divided into two various views. Everything in his body felt nonexistent and he was floating. That all stopped seconds after as the Mako came on the other side, turning onto one of its sides and scraping against the surface towards a wall. As the rover hit the wall, Josh felt Wrex fall on his leg, almost breaking it and Garrus below him.

Everyone took their time to reorient, getting out one by one. Josh was the last one to crawl out. They were in front of the Council chambers, or the elevator towards them. Most of the Citadel was already burning, turned upside down, victim to some sort of attack. A remote control information terminal hologram flickered across from the elevator, feeding scattered reports of the status. The constant sound of space combat was heard from above as well, Josh chose not to look up, knowing well what he would see. It was best to stay focused on the mission.

"Everyone alright?" Shepard looked over all of them. They seemed to be fine, quickly recovering from the knock received after the relay exit.

"Critical failure... control systems.... evacuate..." Avina's constant warning came in scrambled and broken up with static, accompanied by a few geth spire structures falling to the ground and releasing husks.

Everyone in the squad was more than ready for a big fight so they didn't hesitate to draw weapons and fire. The husks never made it within reach of anyone. The more time the squad spent together, the more coordinated they became. The way anywhere else was cut off by debris and it was quite clear that Saren had nowhere else to go except for into the Council chambers.

"Let's move," Shepard pointed to the elevator as the rest of the squad followed her in and the doors closed. The machine began its slow climb towards the Council chambers, everyone hoped that they would be in time.

The climb was interrupted by a loud sequence of sounds, metal coming into motion. Josh felt the elevator shake, as no doubt did everyone else. He grabbed the closest wall to remain steady and looked around.

"What the fuck is going on?" he asked.

"I think they're sealing the station," Garrus looked out of the glass walls, trying to figure out what was going on. Josh followed, and noticed that Citadel's arms were moving. "They only do it in emergency procedures, never in my lifetime. Saren must be by the control unit already."

"We can still stop him," Shepard tried to sound as confident as possible.

As the words left the Commander's mouth, the elevator came to a sudden stop, dropping Garrus and Josh to their knees. They were stuck about half way to the Council chambers, in need of a new way up.

"Saren locked the elevators," Shepard noted, pulling out her pistol. "Suit up! We're going outside."

With that, Steph fired a quick round at the window, breaking the glass. The gravitational systems appeared to be slightly down, everything suspended in space. Luckily, the Citadel arms were full closed. Josh was first to step up, his helmet comfortably on. The change of levels was an unhappy transition, switching into a horizontal position on what used to be a vertical climb. Everyone else followed right behind. As they got out, Josh stopped to stare ahead, a large tentacle like thing was latched on to part of the Citadel.

"What the..."

"Sovereign," Shepard spoke with distaste, stepping forward decisively.

Judging by the distance they travelled in the elevator, Josh figured that the climb towards the main control hub wouldn't take too long. Hopefully Saren wouldn't dispatch too many geth towards them right away, giving some hope of reaching him fast. Just as Josh was think the last bit, another elevator pulled up, at least a dozen geth coming out of it.

Josh was the first to open fire, taking down two synthetics before they even turned. He quickly ducked into cover, throwing up a barrier around himself as well. Out of the periphery, Josh noted movement, most likely Wrex advancing closer to get in shotgun range. A few blasts later, the theory was reaffirmed. With a quick jerk, Josh himself ducked out and threw a biotic push forward, throwing a few get back, shooting at the others with his pistol simultaneously. After that, he confirmed that the area was clear.

On cue, they all moved. The next turn took the squad into a group of krogan, backed by a few juggernauts. Every encounter became routine, alternating cover and various attacking strategies, this was no different. Josh felt his ribs sting a bit more, probably another gun wound, but there was no time to worry about that. Everyone else was hurting as well, judging by the limps and various other twitches, but there was no time to consider that, Saren was too far ahead.

In the next open area, they encountered more geth, supported from the back by rocket turret fire. Josh allowed Shepard and the rest to gather most of the fire, sneaking around the side to get closer to the back lines of the enemy. He quickly came out planting grenades on the turrets, making it easier for his squad mates. With that, a few geth turned to face the new threat and Josh opened fire, taking them down before they could locate him. They all reunited at the next turn.

New hallway, more geth. The tread towards the council chambers repeated itself numerous time, presenting only new enemies to get past. Josh felt most of his body go sore, almost numb, his lungs grasping for air with every move. It was quite possible that one of the shots has touched a side. He quickly applied another two medigels to ease the pain and hopefully prevent any fatal damage if there was any before moving on.

The last opening turned the squad directly into a geth drop ship. With the amounts of geth jumping out of the ship, this threatened to be a time consuming battle. As everyone opened fire, Garrus reacted to something else. He moved forward towards a control panel, breaking it open with the butt of his gun. Quickly, he keyed in a few commands which in turn activated the turret systems placed around the section.

The turrets opened fire on the drop ship, not letting any more geth drop down. In the meantime, the squad started to handle the enemies that were already on the ground, picking them off one by one. The one thing the geth had on their side was sheer number, but that didn't bother Josh or anyone else. The more geth would come, the more would die. With the area clear within a few moments they moved on again.

"We can't be far," Garrus noted, "I think that's the Council chambers up ahead."

"I think that is," Shepard agreed as they quickly reached another window, and crashed into a hallway, switching their perception of what was horizontal and vertical yet again.

Through the gate, and into the Council area. Shepard raced up the stairs, right into the line of enemy fire. Josh jumped forward, forcing the Commander to drop on the ground under the weight of his body. He then scrambled into cover and opened fire.

The chamber area was burning, damaged badly by the attack. The geth were most likely ordered to hold position and deny access to the stairwell, most likely location of Saren. There were so many of them, Josh wondered if they would actually make it to Saren in time. This encounter consumed all of his grenades as well as a legitimate amount of ammunition. Slowly, but surely, they wore the enemy down, providing enough covering fire to advance each other and close down the geth, not giving them a way out. With the last of the synthetics disposed off, the squad raced upwards.

Saren was on an extension bridge, keying commands into a holographic terminal. As the crew raced upwards, weapons ready he simply stepped off. Shepard stopped at the edge of the bridge, cautions, pistol still pointed where Saren was a moment ago. With measured steps she slowly advanced forward, the rest of the squad on her tail. Josh felt his hand shake for a moment before calming himself down. This was it, they've reached it in time.

A small hovering noise put everyone else on their toes again. Saren rose up on platform, a grenade in one hand, pistol in the other. He looked at Shepard before casually tossing a grenade towards her. Everyone ducked to the sides, Josh taking Garrus within him. As the explosion came, it tossed their bodies even further out and onto the ground. The smart thing to do was to crawl into some sort of cover and to stay low. That's what Josh did for the moment.

"I was afraid you wouldn't make it in time Shepard," Saren spoke, a twisted sense of satisfaction in his tone, like a school bully taking someone else's lunch or pushing them into a locker.

"In time for what?" Stephanie asked, her tone indicating she wasn't quite in the mood for talking.

"The final confrontation," Saren sounded almost offended that Steph didn't get that. "I think we both expected it would end like this. You've lost, you know that don't you? In a few minutes, Sovereign will have full control of all the Citadel's systems. The relay will open. The Reapers will return."

"I've still got a few tricks up my sleeve," Shepard was never the one to surrender easily.

"You survived our encounter on Virmire," Saren answered with a measure of respect, "but I've changed since then. Improved. Sovereign has... upgraded me."

"You let Sovereign implant you? Are you insane?!"

"I suppose I should thank you, Shepard" Saren seemed to ignore what Steph was saying. "After Virmire I couldn't stop thinking about what you've said. About Sovereign manipulating me. About indoctrination. The doubts began to eat away at me, Sovereign sensed my hesitation. I was implanted, to strengthen my resolve. Now my doubts are gone, I believe in Sovereign completely. I understand that the Reapers _need_ organics. Join us, and Sovereign will find a place for you, too."

_He's gone completely insane,_ Josh thought to himself as he was lining up the shot, Garrus beside him doing the same thing.

"Sovereign's controlling you through your implants," Shepard was on the border of screaming, "don't you see that?!"

"The relationship is symbiotic," Saren refused to acknowledge the facts. "Organic and machine intertwined, a union of flesh and steel. The strengths of both, the weaknesses of neither. I am a vision of the future Shepard, the evolution of all organic life. This is our destiny. Join Sovereign and experience a true rebirth!"

"Sovereign hasn't won yet," Stephanie didn't seem even remotely interested in the offer. "I can stop him from taking control of the station. Step aside and the invasion will never happen."

"We can't stop it," there was doubt in Saren's voice, his resolve shaken slightly, "not forever! You saw the visions. You saw what happened to the Protheans. The Reapers are too powerful.

"Some part of you must still realize this is wrong," Shepard didn't give up, fighting even for the life of the rogue spectre who was seconds away from surrendering the galaxy to ruthless synthetics. "You can fight this!"

"Maybe you're right," Saren caved a bit more, "maybe there is still a chance for... unh!! The implants... Sovereign is too strong. I'm sorry. It is too late for me."

"It's not over yet," Shepard stood out of her cover, her pistol at her side. Josh kept staring at Saren, ready to pull the trigger if the turian as much as flinched, but the rogue spectre's gun was down. "You can still redeem yourself."

"Goodbye Shepard," Saren brought the gun to his own chin and whispered his last words. "Thank you."

With that, the turian squeezed the trigger, sending the inside of his own head into the glass below, the body following. Josh quickly got out of cover, Garrus and Wrex both reuniting with Shepard on the bridge. There was a slightly solemn mood at the moment, after seeing Saren's last actions. Josh felt himself sympathizing with the enemy, despite all that he has done. Shepard's facial expression showed that she felt the same.

"We have no time," Garrus reminded them, snapping both humans out of their trance.

With decisive steps, the Commander made steps towards the edge of the bridge, inserting the data into the control panel. Josh, along with Garrus and Wrex were still on guard, checking their backs just to make sure there was no hidden threats.

"Vigil's data file worked," Shepard informed them as they retreated towards her, "I've got control of all systems."

"Quick," Josh spoke, still with his back turned, "open the station's arms. Maybe the fleet can take Sovereign down before he regains control of the station!"

"See if you can open a communications channel," Garrus suggested as well.

Shepard turned to her omni tool, to where all the control was rerouted and keyed in a few close commands. Judging by the sound of opening arms, and a sudden shift in footing, the arms were about to open.

"The Destiny Ascension..." came a female voice through the open channel. "... Main drives offline. Kinetic barriers down to 40%. The Council is on board; I repeat the Council is on board."

"Normandy to the Citadel," Joker's voice came through the communicator next. "Please tell me that's you Commander!"

"We caught that distress call Commander," Joker informed, Shepard most likely sent out a signal as soon as they were on the Citadel. "I'm sitting here in the Andura sector with the entire Arcturus fleet. We can save the Ascension, just unlock the relays around the Citadel and we'll send the cavalry in."

"Are you really willing to sacrifice human lives to save the council Shepard?" Garrus asked, surprising everyone with his willingness to let the Council perish.

"The Council is what stabilizes the galaxy Steph," Josh suggested himself, interrupting the turian. "We need them, especially after this. The Citadel will need to be rebuilt, we will require strong leadership. The council may have not backed us before, but they know the way things work."

"The Council must be sacrificed for the greater good," Garrus insisted. "Don't waste your reinforcements. Hold them back until the Citadel arms open up. Save the human fleet to attack Sovereign."

"What's the order Commander?" Joker seemed a bit impatient. "Come in now to save the Ascension or hold back?"

"Opening the relays now, Joker," Steph said with little contemplation. "We need to save the Ascension... no matter what the cost!"

"I hope you know what you're doing Shepard," Garrus sighed as Stephanie keyed in the last commands to unlock the relays.

The sound of the battle above intensified once again. The arms were fully open, and it seemed that the reinforcement ships were splitting off to attack Sovereign as well. Josh hoped that Ascension would be in the clear soon, taking away from threat and preserving the council. As much as he had his doubts about any form of government, if the galaxy was to prepare for the Reapers as well as rebuild, they would need strong leadership.

With that done, Shepard and the rest gathered on the edge of the bridge, looking down at Saren's body. The dead turian was laying on the grass, in a small isolated 'greenhouse' area below the main chamber.

"Make sure he's dead," Shepard turned to Josh and Garrus as they split up and took the adjacent stairs down to the body.

Once down there, Josh made decisive steps towards Saren. In his head, he could see Ashley's face, flashing in front of him. Garrus had his assault rifle, tactically covering Josh's back. Josh advanced to Saren quickly, his pistol out before he even reached the body. There was nothing else to do but to deliver one control shot to the head. With that done, they both turned to walk away.

Saren's body began to twitch, glow in a read hue. Part of the jaw fell away, revealing a metallic under structure. The same happened to arms and legs as they extended. The metallic ribs became exposed as well, most of Saren was now synthetic.

"Holy shit," Garrus said staring at the 'reincarnated' villain.

"_**I am SOVEREIGN!"**_ Saren spoke, crawling on all fours like a reaper. _**"And this station, is MINE!"**_

With those words, the metallic enemy leaped onto a wall, opening fire on Steph and Wrex up above, impact throwing their bodies down into the battle. Josh fired a few shots in the direction of the enemy, trying to draw attention. Saren's head turned, and with a wicked grin, a few rockets shot out of the mouth area, forcing Josh to jump from impact, the debris still slicing through the side of his foot.

"He just won't die," Garrus yelled as he tried to switch positions. Sovereign/Saren caught him in mid run, a few bullets piercing a leg, bringing the turian to the ground.

Luckily, they bought Shepard and Wrex enough time to come to it, as they opened fire as well. Josh quickly stood up, as best he could, and fired more shots as Saren leaped from place to place. Biotic powers appeared to be useless as the enemy seemed to have some sort of interference running. Josh noted Wrex jumping out of the way of one of the rockets, the krogan mass slammed into the wall. He quickly determined the pattern in Saren's movements however, noting that he stopped every few seconds to fire off rocket rounds.

With that, Josh avoided more fire as Shepard provided a legitimate amount for all of them with her assault rifle. He waited for Saren to change positions again, throwing a grenade to where he was and detonating on impact. To be sure of it, he also fired a few more shots in the direction. All went silent for seconds, but Saren suddenly jumped out of the smoke, both claws extended, pinning Josh to the ground.

Josh could feel the turian's jaw near his face, snapping at him. There was nothing organic or turian left to Saren however. Small drips of oil fell on Josh's face as he remained pinned down, most likely about to go. He felt the metallic claws digging into his wrists, cutting deeper and deeper. Saren was eyes were glowing red, as if foretelling the impending doom.

Luckily for Josh, something knocked Saren of him, not without letting the synthetic cut deeper into his arms. Getting back to his feet, Josh noted that Wrex kept pushing onto Saren, shotgun blasting rapidly. The turian robot seemed to disregard the attack, brushing Wrex into the wall with one swipe. As Wrex hit the wall, the shotgun fell from his grasp and Saren jumped onto his new prey.

Before he even landed on the krogan, Garrus jumped out of his cover, unleashing a barrage of rounds into the enemy. Josh took the opportunity to do the same with his pistol. As Saren was knocked back he fired a pulse round at Garrus' feet, throwing the S-Sec officer up in the air. Garrus' body flew up, hitting one of the metal support bars up above before plummeting down to the ground. It seemed that both Wrex and Garrus were out for the count, Shepard not seen but most likely waiting for her shot.

Saren stared at Josh, charging within seconds with a loud growl. There was little time to react as Josh ducked to the side, just narrowly avoid the enemy's charge. Saren performed a leap, latching himself to the wall again, aiming more rocket rounds at Josh who was still scrambling to get onto his feet, trying to block out the pain. Before the synthetic could fire though, a few more rounds pierced his temples.

The turian turned to face Stephanie, firing off from her pistol and backtracking towards more cover. He leaped to the ceiling and then directly behind Shepard, his mouth open for a shot. The Commander rolled out of the way, but the explosion still tossed her body sideways into a rock. Josh quickly jumped to his feet, pistol firing as he was running towards Saren. The turian seemed to ignore the effort, dropping to the ground and heading towards Shepard.

Josh knew he wouldn't make it in time, the enemy already over the Commander, claws extended and up for a deadly strike. With his last effort Josh gathered his biotic energy, improvising. He wanted to send a push, but with himself at the center of it. Josh gathered all the energy and just like that, in a blink of an eye his body collided with Saren, head first, knocking both to the ground. He'd never done that before, it was certainly not an ability taught in the Academy for biotics, but it seemed to work. Judging by the sounds, time seemed to slow down momentarily as well, but that was most likely a an adrenaline rush.

Josh tried to get up, his eyes till closed. He felt his hands slipping up every time he tried to use them as a lever. There was still hope there, but his body refused to obey all the injuries gave toll, weighing him down. Josh was prepared to die at that moment, to go out on one last high as he gripped his pistol.

The strike never came. Instead of it, there was one last pistol shot and a sound of a body falling to the floor. Josh finally opened his eyes to see Shepard standing with her pistol pointed at a pile of ashes. Saren seemed to decompose on the spot, the last traces of organic material disappearing at an increased rate. There was blood going down Shepard's forehead, most likely a wound from the impact. Josh forced himself to get up as well, limping towards the Commander as she put away her pistol.

"We need to get Wrex and Garrus up," Shepard said, tired as she limped towards her comrades. This was the first time Josh has seen her worse for wear. Her armour was pierced in a number of places, and she favoured one leg to the other, yet she wasn't stopping.

Josh himself struggled to get to Wrex, while Steph was trying to get Garrus up. He kneeled over the krogan, slapping him a few times on the face with no effects. After a few more attempts however, the krogan moved, one of the eyes coming open.

"What happened?" Wrex asked as he tried to sit up.

"Saren's dead," Josh said, offering his arm to the mercenary, "We've won. I hope."

"Good," Wrex accepted the hand, but considering his own weight got up pretty much on his own effort. Garrus and Shepard were up as well then.

Just as that happened a crashing noise came from outside, most likely the Alliance finally toppling the Reaper goliath that was Sovereign. Josh looked upwards just in time to see the debris coming from up above, giant chunks of what used to be a monumental synthetic vessel. Shepard followed his eyes, pushing the still confused Garrus to the side and rushing towards Josh and Wrex. Josh burrowed his shoulder into the krogan, most likely dislocating it, signified by a blinding pain, but toppled Wrex to the ground, under a small niche where he was safe.

Josh's eyes met Steph's as she was racing towards him, both thinking the same thing. Within one hand he threw up the kinetic barrier, with the other, tried to push Stephanie into some cover, she did the same, excluding the barrier. As they touched, Josh transferred his biotic protection to her, making sure that Commander was safe.

The crashing noise came suddenly, as the debris fell through the opening up above. Josh looked up one last time to see one giant piece of Sovereign falling almost directly at them. Then there was nothing, just silence.


	27. Chapter 27: Last Chapter

Disclaimer: All of the locations, characters, planets etc. are property of BioWare and are used here exclusively for fan fiction purposes. (aka they are not owned by me ;) )

Sorry it took a while, I had a malfunction with the laptop as well as a short live holiday. Here is the Epilogue. Not the best work, so I apologize… Keep on reading… The second story can be find through my profile…

**Epilogue**

He felt as if his head was supposed to fall apart. The room was sliding into focus slowly and the process took time. Josh felt the bruises hurt as well as other injuries, what probably were bullet holes at some point. Getting up felt like a work out, every inch of his body feeling sore, at the same time it also felt better with every move.

Josh looked around when he sat up straight, figuring out that he was at the medical bay. The doctor was out, and he was the only person left, but from the condition of the beds around it was clear everyone just left. Knowing Garrus and Wrex, Josh allowed himself to assume that Dr. Chakwas wasn't left with much choice when it came to keeping them there.

"Feeling better?" Shepard's voice jerked him out of thought.

"Better is probably an inappropriate adjective in this situation," Josh smiled, rubbing the back of his neck.

"That bad, huh?" Stephanie smiled and came closer, leaning back against one of the empty beds. There was something different about the way she moved, more relaxed. Weeks of stress leading up to the events on the Citadel and encounter with Saren were finally of her shoulders.

"Well," Josh smiled, "better than after Elysium, but the then I lost like half an arm. So… you're going to fill me in?"

"I figured you wanted some rest," Steph smiled, "I mean we almost got killed, same as everyone else. Wrex and Garrus didn't appreciate the doctor's care either."

"Hate hospital beds," Josh answered back. "Don't really care for the smell here either."

Steph chuckled and moved around the room again. She paused a few times as if to look at the equipment through the room. The Commander didn't pause for too long, always moving on to the next endeavor within seconds. She turned back to Josh again after a few moments.

"Going to tell me or should I go ask someone else?" Josh smiled when Shepard decided to lean against Chakwas' table.

"Maybe I enjoy seeing you suffer…" Stephanie gave out a devious smile, "besides, you used to be an agent for the Shadow Broker, I figured you would find out yourself."

"Funny," Josh played along, pretending to be hurt for a second before turning back to a light tone, "very funny. I think the Flux has stand up on Thursdays, you should sign up. Seriously though, do you want to tell me what's going on or do I have to beat it out of Kaidan?"

"Like I would let you touch him," Stephanie chuckled. "You'd be right back here in the med bay if you tried anything like that."

"That's cute," Josh smiled right back, "already feeling protective aren't you?"

"Can we move on?" Shepard pretended to be annoyed; she didn't pull it off very well.

"You're the one who wanted to make sure I didn't hurt Kaidan," Josh laughed. "Enough for now though. So… What happens now? To us, to Normandy, and to Captain Anderson?"

"Due to our role in the defense of the Citadel the Council has granted pardon to every member of the Normandy crew for disobeying the order," Shepard got a little more serious. "As for… _Councilor_ Anderson, I doubt they can do much to him now."

"Councilor?" Josh gasped, genuinely surprised. "They acted humans into the Citadel Council?"

"They had little choice," Shepard shrugged, "after our role in the battle. We saved the council, protected the Citadel, defeated Sovereign. Without our fleet everyone would be dead by now. They asked for my recommendation."

"That would explain why it's Anderson and not Udina," Josh reasoned. "There will be a lot of unhappy people on the Citadel after this."

"They can be unhappy all they like," Commander reasoned, "they were more than welcome to enter fray."

"Reasonable enough," Josh smiled again.

"As for us…" Shepard went on before pausing for a few seconds. "Everyone has been given medals, some post mortem. When it comes to Josh Dri, the Council and the Alliance have signed official papers to declare you… well, dead. Don't worry, your sister, and Kamilah have been informed that it's all not true. Tali made sure that no one will be able to track the messages."

"Thanks," Josh felt slightly confused at the news. "I guess… You didn't really have to, I'd find a way out of this."

"Don't worry," Commander waved away the protest before moving on. "So…"

"So what?" Josh mimicked Shepard's intonations.

"What about you?" Shepard went on. "Are you going to stay on the Normandy? Once your new identity gets settled you can be reinstate at Alliance ranks, no lower than Lieutenant either."

"Interesting," Josh considered the proposition. "I don't know Steph, not yet. I need to take care of a few things. Besides, if I do come back to the Normandy, to serve with you, it will be same as now, independent of a faction."

"Your call," Stephanie considered what Josh said. "You're always welcome here."

"What are you going to do?" Josh asked.

"Don't know," Shepard thought out loud as much as she was talking to Josh. "I'm still a Specter, so the Council may come up with something for me. It's not the end of the Reapers though; you and I know both know that. I fully intend to find a way to stop them."

"What about everyone else?" Josh posed another question

"They got the same offer," Commander answered, "all are more than welcome to stay, but not everyone has told me yet. You're more than welcome to ask them yourself. I'm sure if you decided to stay it may sway at least one opinion."

"I'll see Steph," Josh didn't want to make any promises. "Too much has happened lately, I need to go visit Sarah at the very least. After that, I'm not sure."

"I'll ask Tali to set up a closed channel so you can let me know when you do." Shepard suggested. "For now, get some rest."

"Thanks," Josh said in regards to both propositions. "I definitely will."

"Good," Shepard smiled as she walked out of the med bay. Josh guided her with his gaze and finally laid back in his bed as the Commander left. He stared at the ceiling for a bit before falling asleep. His body still ached a from the injuries, but he felt the pain slowly seeping away. The last thing he was thinking before sleep won over was that he needed to visit his sister.

MExMExMExME

"You're sure you're not staying?" Kaidan looked at Josh, seconds after Josh told Shepard he would leave for a small amount of time.

"You sound awfully too concerned," Josh smiled to Kaidan. The Second Lieutenant grew on him through the mission, he saw what Shepard saw there even though if he didn't fully understand Kaidan.

"You're call," Alenko said, turning back to his work bench, "it was good being on the same squad though."

"It was," Josh agreed. "Take care of yourself Alenko, at least until I get back. There won't be too many people to give you advice about Steph after I leave."

"I think I'll be alright," Kaidan laughed.

Josh smiled and walked off. He respected the man a bit more with every day. Kaidan was very idealistic and stern when it came to those ideals. Even if they didn't agree at times, Kaidan was a good person to have by your side in battle.

Josh went into the med bay and right past Dr. Chakwas. The doctor wasn't too happy with being asked to release Josh early, but didn't argue much against it. She smiled politely, keeping her manners. Josh went right through the med bay, returning the wave of course, but making his way deeper, into Liara's room. The asari was at her desk, still researching something with enthusiasm just like on the first day when she joined the Normandy crew.

"How are you feeling?" Josh asked as he pulled up a chair at the table, assuming Liara would be alright with that.

"I'm good," Liara turned from her terminal slowly, as if it took great effort to leave her work behind. "I think more appropriate question would be concerned with your well being. After all, I didn't go on the Citadel during the battle."

"I'm fine," Josh smiled, leaning back into the chair. He almost didn't lie, after all, the small recurring pains didn't bother him that much. "You're still at work I see? You know we're allowed to take breaks, especially after major victories."

"I know," Liara smiled, shyly. "It's just so captivating. Me and Tali have been researching Sovereign's remains. You won't believe what we've found after just a few days… But I am boring you. You're not interested in my research."

"I am," Josh reassured, "really. Considering we know so little of the Reapers it would be important to find out anything we can."

"I fully agree," Liara's face lit up even more. "It's been only a few days but we've found some interesting things. If I could get access to databases on Ilos as well as more remains there could be so much more. So far though, we've been able to discover more. You won't believe this… The reaper composition, it's not simply synthetic, there are traces of organic material, DNA. The Reapers, they're not just machines, they are combined forms of organic and synthetic life."

"That is interesting," Josh tried to sound at least somewhat enthusiastic, considering Liara's level of excitement that would be impossible.

"I know," Liara went on. "The implications of such discovery could be groundbreaking."

"I'm sure you'll be able to figure something out," Josh proposed, "I suppose you're staying on the Normandy?"

"For a time, yes," Liara nodded. "I feel that after everything that happened… after what Benezia did to aid Saren, I owe much more to both the Council and Shepard."

"You're mother's mistakes aren't yours," Josh suggested, "but I am sure that Stephanie would be more than happy if you stayed."

"She already accepted," Liara nodded, "what about you? Are you staying as well?"

"I'm not sure," Josh considered, "not at the moment at least. There are too many things I need to consider before making this decision. See my family, friends, think about everything."

"Understandable," Liara seemed slightly disappointed, but she quickly hid that as she turned back to her terminal. "I'm sorry, but I have to get back to work. I hope to see you again before you leave the Normandy."

"You definitely will," Josh promised as he made his way out of the med bay and towards the elevator. He felt close with Liara, especially after the asari was so open with him before about her fears and so forth. He wouldn't go as far as saying that he may be attracted to her, especially not this fast after Ashley. It was best to stifle those kinds of thoughts for now.

The way to the cargo bay was a long one. The elevator ride seemed to drag on more than before. Josh counted the seconds before the door opened and let him out into the open. The atmosphere seemed a little more diffused than before, everyone slightly more relaxed. Wrex was working with his weapons, checking them as before while Garrus was struggling near the Mako again. Both seemed entirely focused on whatever it is they were doing. AT the same time, it was somehow different, both seemed more at ease, relaxed.

"We will go down in history for our victories," Wrex lifted his head as Josh approached. "That was a true battle. We did well."

"We sure did," Josh smiled. "So what are you going to do now? Shepard is going after the Reapers."

"I know," the krogan responded. "She offered me to join her on the hunt, but there are greater things at stake. I need to go back to Tuchunka and try and reunite the Krogan. The Reapers are a threat, but if all that we've learned is true, we're going to need more than one small ship to combat it. The galaxy may need the Krogan once again, and right now, we are not ready."

"Will they listen?" Josh didn't want to appear to skeptical, but he has heard enough stories from Wrex and knew the mercenary well enough to gain some insight into his species. "I mean, your people seem more content to listen to fight one another for money."

"We are lost in the past," Wrex reasoned. "Even though we are warriors, we must adopt, face the changing environments. Besides, I have the Urdnot armor, they will have to listen to me."

"Good luck Wrex," Josh wished, "I hope we meet again after this."

"I hope to fight by your side again as well," Wrex replied. "Remember Josh, you are always welcome in the ranks of Clan Urdnot."

"Thanks Wrex," Josh reached out and patted the reptilian on a shoulder. For that second there was a connection between the two, a brotherly kind. Josh felt Wrex's pain, and all the krogan went through, especially after seeing the mercenary on Virmire.

"So long Josh," Wrex responded as Josh walked away.

Garrus seemed content to fiddle with the Mako with little awareness for the surroundings. The turian was always caught up in his work, shielded from things around him. Garrus had a lot of ideals in his as well, but unlike Shepard or Kaidan, he had no problem with the concept of 'greater good,' often seeing that the universe exists in the grey areas. Garrus would pull the trigger and ask questions later if he believe it would be the right thing to do in the end.

"I don't think we're going to land this thing anywhere in the near future," Josh said as he leaned onto the Mako. Garrus pulled out from under the rover and turned to him.

"I'm just making a few more adjustments to the thrusters, making them easier to control," Garrus gave out what seemed like a smile. It was most difficult to tell the turian expressions. "I hated being inside this thing."

"I assume you're staying then?" Josh allowed himself to ask.

"For the time being," Garrus reasoned. "I wanted to reapply for the Spectres, but after seeing Shepard dealing with the Council I reconsidered. I'd rather be a grunt on the front lines, making all the key decisions. Besides, I know Commander does what is right."

"Even if that means letting some people live?" Josh probed deeper, knowing Garrus from before.

"Sometimes it's for the best," the turian gave an uncharacteristic answer. "I am sure of that, especially after seeing Saren's fall. He could have been helped, but he had to be killed. Slightly different circumstances and we could have kept him alive, learn more of the Reapers."

"Good luck with that," Josh suggested, stretching his arm out. "Hopefully we'll meet each other again."

"I sure hope so," Garrus accepted the offer and shook Josh's hand.

There was little left to do now. Josh wanted to go and ask Shepard how close the Normandy could come to Earth and drop him off, but before then there was another person he wanted to talk to. Joker already stopped by offering beer and cigars as a celebration, as well as more jokes characteristic of the pilot.

Tali was in her usual place, with the engineers. Unlike before though, she wasn't working on the Normandy core, but at the terminal studying something else. Josh assumed it was directly related to the research Liara spoke of earlier, but didn't want to be to curious, if it was important Tali would let everyone know.

"Josh," the quarian turned around right away, "I thought you might stop by and say good bye."

"Shepard told you I'm leaving?" Josh was slightly surprised that Tali was so forward as opposed to before. "I'm probably coming back in a while, but I need to take care of a few things."

"You're leaving as well?" Tali seemed similarly surprised. "I was talking about myself actually. There is some things that Shepard has allowed me to salvage from the geth, I must take them back to the flotilla."

"You're not going to help Liara with her research?" Josh decided to ask.

"It's interesting, I must admit," Tali sounded similarly to Liara when they were discussing the research earlier. "I have to complete the pilgrimage first though. I supposed what I bring back may be useful in researching the geth. Shepard also allowed me to take back the results from researching Sovereign. Quarian knowledge may be useful for the future."

"Reasonable enough" Josh smiled. "Good luck."

"To you as well," Tali turned back to her work. The quarian always surprised Josh with her ability to get involved with her research and any technical assignment regardless of the situation. She was able to tune in and out almost on cue.

MExMExMExME

The journey to Earth was a short one. Josh couldn't stop thinking about what he would say when he saw his sister, and nothing came to mind. He has spoken to Kamilah already, and she asked him not to visit. There was something interesting in her tones and Josh wanted to check up on that, but that would have to wait.

A few more people stopped by before the Normandy reached Earth. Liara was the most frequent visitor, often coming by to check how Josh was feeling. Everyone else broke up their visits to a less frequent rate. Wrex dropped by before leaving, Shepard dropped him off at the nearest space port. The krogan didn't want to arrive at Tuchunka on a human vessel, a Spectre one at that. Tali left at the same port, saying it would be easier for her to approach the flotilla on her own as well.

Josh was the only one left out of those who asked to leave the Normandy, even if temporarily. Shepard stopped by again to inquire about his future plans and set up the distant link. The Normandy docked at Earth soon after, allow Josh to step foot on land. He didn't stretch his goodbyes because he didn't want to regret leaving the squad for a long time.

Sarah's building didn't seem to change much from before, although Josh didn't see it for a while. The doorman was a pretty girl this time. The residence company always kept to appearances. She smiled and flirted appropriately for her position. She rang up to Sarah and quickly let Josh up.

As soon as the elevator door opened Sarah exploded into his arms, closing her arms tightly around Josh. He returned the favor, bringing his closer to his chest.

"I'm so happy," Sarah said, finally letting go. "When they showed the news I couldn't believe it. Thank God for that other communication from the Alliance."

"It had to be done," Josh admitted, "there were a few things."

"Next time give me a better heads up," Sarah punched his shoulder and went back into the apartment as Josh followed.

"I'm sorry?" Josh laughed. "How have you been? Any news?"

"Nothing really," Sarah answered as they both settled in the guest room. "The stocks have been jumping up and down after the Citadel thing. Business has been unstable, but it's rising now. Besides, I've had a chance at a few more investments. What was the Citadel thing all about anyways? You know the news, never say anything."

"I don't like you since your daughter moved out," Josh laughed, pouring himself a glass of water from a jug on the guest table, "all business, and no fun. As for the Citadel, it was a geth attack led by a rogue Spectre. No one knows why," Josh rattled off the practice Alliance answer for any questioning.

"Fine," Sarah agreed, getting up. "If you don't want to tell your own sister, I'll just wait until one of my business partners tells me. As for your niece, she's coming to visit in a week, I hope you're here to at least say hello."

"Definitely am," Josh poured himself another glass of water. "Can't wait to have one more of those family dinners."

"Great," Sarah smiled, grabbing her coat and heading towards the door. "Josh, I have to run, something at the office, but make yourself at home. I'll be back soon."

Josh nodded as his sister ran out of the door. He laid back on the couch with his feet up on the table. The apartment has changed, there was no doubt. Sarah has really allowed her business to flower and it showed. She decorated exclusively with biggest brand names from both asari and human sides. Josh tried to figure out how much everything cost, but got bored after a few seconds.

Following his adventures on the Normandy with Shepard and everyone else ordinary life seemed to boring. Josh didn't even doubt his return to the Normandy or at least to a similar ship. Staying put like this just didn't see like a good idea anymore. Besides, the more time he spent dormant, the more time he had to think about Ashley, and then Tanya. Even now, thoughts of those he lost crept quickly into Josh's head.

Josh was jerked out of his trance with a buzz from downstairs. He quickly walked towards the PA system and pressed the button, the receptionist's voice followed the buzzing noise. "Hello, I know Sarah left, but there is a woman down here that claims she wants to see you specifically sir. Should I let her up?"

"I'm not sure yet," Josh gave a nervous chuckle, "what does she look like?"

"Attractive," the reception sounded slightly bored, "long dark hair, athletic. Oh, and she talks with a slight Australian accent… I think."

"Australian?" Josh only knew one person like that, and he tried to not sound worried. It couldn't have been true. He allowed himself to be discovered, but not this soon. Thoughts raced through his mind, but he couldn't think of anything else but saying, - "let her up… I guess."

Josh spent the next couple of minutes waiting for the doors to open. He didn't know what to do, his hand uncomfortably on the pistol. He assumed he knew who it was, and didn't want the confrontation.

"Nice place," Miranda spoke seductively as she walked into the place slowly. "How are you doing Josh?"

"Not too good now," Josh was honest, raising his pistol slightly from his hip.

"No need to be so defensive," Miranda smiled and pulled up a seat without invitation. "I'm here on my own accord, not from… our mutual employer. Well, at least your past employer, my current one."

"Really?" Josh remained cautious. "Forgive me if I am not that quick to trust you."

"Understandable," Miranda reached for the water jug and poured herself a glass, bringing it slowly to her lips. "But I assure you, I am here just to make sure you're alive… In case I need your services in the future."

"My services?"

"Josh," Miranda smiled, "let's be real. You've survived one of the most significant battles of our history. I assume you are capable of more, and you're not currently on the Normandy. People like you won't stay settled for long, and at some point I may need something."

"And I will do it because?" Josh finally gave a distant smirk.

"For silence," Miranda smiled again, leaning forward to show Josh the best features of her body. "I have a sister myself Josh, and I understand that you are trying to protect your family. I know exactly how you feel, and I do not wish to reveal you to the Illusive Man if it threatens your family. On the other hand, I do value good operatives… I'll stay in touch."

Josh wanted to say something, but Miranda reached towards him and put her hand gently on his leg. With a quick stroke she was up on her hands and Josh still felt her touch on his leg. Just like that Miranda left, leaving him to his thoughts. There was much to consider, but first she had to leave, Josh couldn't help but stare as the woman walked away. Even though it didn't seem it, he knew she opened up, just a little, but still. For some reason Josh believed the Illusive Man knew of his survival, but didn't care much anymore, there were other things to consider, things not know before.

Miranda was right thought, he wouldn't be able to stay put, he'd rejoin the Normandy, or do hired work. There needed to be more time though. He was with his family now, somewhere at peace, well deserved rest, at least for another couple of weeks, before getting back to Shepard. There was no time for this, he wanted to enjoy peace, even if temporarily. Sarah would be home soon…

_**Once again, this is the last chapter so for the next story just go through my profile… :D… Thanks to all for reading. Hope you follow Part II just as much…**_


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